Category: tweets

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Enjoy These Times When Dogs Just Us With Their Greatness

Let’s talk about dogs for a moment. Are they good bois? They are. Are they good girls? Indeed. Are they, in fact, the bestest ever, with paws and cutesie snoots for booping? It is decidedly so.

On the topic of how they got so good, is such a thing knowable? And what of their other characteristics and the origins thereof? Why are they so small? Or big? Or fluffers? And why won’t they tell us?

While pondering these questions, let us look to the doggos of Twitter.

11. Let us play

We are gathered here today to celebrate doggos.

10. Wrinkles in time

This kid is on a roll.

9. Morning glory

You must feeds. Am starve. Have not eaten for a whole four hours.

8. The driver

When DMV stands for Dogs Moving Vans.

7. The best care around

I would put my life in Shiloh’s hands.

6. Rules are rules

These puppies are better at following medical safety protocols than humans.

5. He’s been licked

All he wants to do is help and you won’t help him do that.

4. Pure excitement

“This is the best show I’ve ever seen in my life” – dogs, probably

3. Mask up

He got it over the nose! You’re doin’ it right!

2. Live and learn

“Explain your smolness.”

1. Long conversations

He’s all ears.

A team of researchers has been working round the clock to answer the ever-looming question of “who’s the bestest dog in the world” and they have concluded that it is, in fact, your dog.

Tell us all about your dog, won’t you?

In the comments. For science.

The post Enjoy These Times When Dogs Just Us With Their Greatness appeared first on UberFacts.

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The Best Part of Waking Up Is These Hilarious Tweets

Rise and shine! It’s time to get your dose of funny tweets! The best part of the morning!

Or maybe it’s afternoon or night where you are. In which case ignore that very first part. But don’t ignore these tweets, because you’ll regret it!

15. Et tu?

The revolution WILL be televised, apparently.

14. Spell it out

He learned to speak just for this moment.

13. Copy that

It’s like they prayed for a child and God was like “you suuuuure about that?”

12. That’s amore

This is the definition of non-hostile architecture.

11. Clear the fog

I had to explain how the defroster works to a friend of mine who’d been driving her entire adulthood.
She was 37.

10. Pick a lane

Don’t mind me, I’ve never been on the road before.

9. Hit it

“I see it’s still in a warehouse four states over. Good. Everything is going according to plan.”

8. Wriggle in

You’re not gonna worm your way out of this one.

7. The waiting game

It’s that special look that gets the whole thing going.

6. Personal attention

Just wait till you see my bedside manner.

5. You’re so vague…

…you probably think this song is about stuff.

4. Carry that load

I’ve never thought about this before and now it’s all I can picture.

3. Two wolves

Things are about to get ugly.

2. Trigger happy

“Any problem that can’t be solved with a gun is not worth solving.” – America, probably

1. Morning rush hour

Not sure what good that does me but thanks anyway.

Don’t you feel refreshed? I certainly do. As refreshed as my browser is as I check for new tweets on my feed every ten seconds.

Who are your top people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

The post The Best Part of Waking Up Is These Hilarious Tweets appeared first on UberFacts.

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The New “Twilight” Book is Here and People Have Some Opinions

It’s been such a crazy year year that I wouldn’t blame you if you’d somehow missed the bombshell news that after over a decade, Stephanie Meyer finally released a new book in the Twilight series.

While it doesn’t cover any new ground story-wise, it does flesh out the core of the franchise by retelling certain events from Edward’s perspective. And it’s pretty wild.

So what do the people of Twitter think of Midnight Sun? Let’s find out.

15. The time has come

What’s old is new again.

14. The anticipation

We’re gonna rock this old school.

13. Bad apples

Book cover stars: where are they now?

12. Genius timing

Ride that wave right back into our hearts.

11. Ripple effects

We’ll always come home to you, Edward.

10. Bible study

Don’t be without it for too long.

9. A real thicc boi

Hot damn I’ve seen encyclopedias shorter than that.

8. Hard to read

I’m sorry, this is nonsense.

7. The perfect cast

Like so many geniuses he went unappreciated in his time.

 

6. Be still my heart

Nobody gave you permission to bring in all these feels.

 

5. A tail of revival

There’s nothing in this world or the next that can’t be fixed by a doggo.

 

4. Contain yourself

She’s like 1/100 your age, dude.

3. Phrasing

That’s alll gonna be a big ol’ nope from me.

 

2. Getting schooled

I keep getting older, they stay the saaaame age.

1. A matter of perspective

Just you wait – she might surprise us.

Honestly, love it or hate it, it’s fun to just have something like this to focus on again. Good ol’ vampire romance trash. It’ll always be there for us in the end.

Have you read Midnight Sun yet? What did you think?

Tell us in the comments.

The post The New “Twilight” Book is Here and People Have Some Opinions appeared first on UberFacts.

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This is How You Can Apply the Five Love Languages to Yourself

Writer Jessicah Pierre brought a lot of joy to people recently with her Twitter thread on the “love languages” and how we can apply them to ourselves.

The concept of the five basic love languages was first pioneered in the early 90’s by author and minister Gary Chapman. In his book The Five Love Languages, he outlined different ways that people prefer to show and receive affection.

It’s a framework that has dug its way into the culture as a helpful guide to recognize each others’ needs, but can it be applied to our day to day, even when we’re alone? Jessicah thinks so:

Here’s her rundown of each language and how you can apply them to yourself to improve your mental health.

1. Words of Affirmation

Talking to yourself isn’t crazy. It’s a totally normal way to process thoughts.

2. Acts of Service

You’d be surprised how much you might appreciate it if you help you out.

3. Quality Time

Don’t just rush around constantly.

4. Physical Touch

There’s an obvious NSFW answer here but this is good too.

5. Gifts

Treat yoself.

Basically:

When you lay it all out like that, it seems so simple. And yet, how often have any of us thought in these terms?

A very helpful reminder that we’ve already got a lot of the tools that we need to stay hearty and happy. Just gotta get ourselves to use them once in a while!

How do you take care of yourself?

Tell us in the comments.

The post This is How You Can Apply the Five Love Languages to Yourself appeared first on UberFacts.

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Enjoy Some of the Best Comebacks Found on the Internet

The thing about the internet is that it’s a huge public forum where almost anybody can access and respond to the things you say.

And the thing about having a forum like that is that with so many eyeballs on your statement, odds are exceedingly good that at least one pair of those eyes is gonna be connected to a brain that just happens to have the most perfectly devastating response.

Ergo, the internet is basically just one giant clap back machine, and the results are hilarious and oof-worthy.

Here are fifteen examples of killer comebacks brought to us by the internet.

15. First languages

Clearly she meant speak American. Yanno, talk about guns and Tiger King.

14. Safety second

And just like Jurassic Park, we literally never learn.

13. Special delivery

(Club = team for all my fellow basic Americans.)

12. Social predictions

Don’t hold back, king.

11. Deep breaths

I might be suffocating but these download speeds are tight.

10. Packing heat

It was planted on me, I swear.

9. Cold shoulder

Every doctor: “This is way worse than a cold or the flu.”
Your cousin: “Nu uh.”

8. Well actually

If he was around to hear this conversation he’d cut off his ear all over again.

https://ryanrosslegs.tumblr.com/post/111237376092/shaxaphone-growlithed

7. Desperate measures

Get bent, bruh.

Ooof and well asked for. from clevercomebacks

6. Just kidding

Nothing better than when you can turn around a yo mama joke.

Dominance asserted from clevercomebacks

5. Born and raised

“If we went back to using obsolete techniques and technologies, people would be confused.” – a boomer’s idea of a sick burn.

Weird motives from clevercomebacks

4. Don’t cry for me

If being a man means I don’t get to care about my own parents then screw it, I’m a wombat.

In a post about “man up” being an insult. from clevercomebacks

3. Granting wishes

That kid is going to be a lawyer when she grows up.

Children are savages from MurderedByWords

2. Can’t take the heat

But…but…I saw a meme somewhere that said…

A Moron and a Microbiologist Comment on a COVID-19 Article… from clevercomebacks

1. The winter of our inconvenience

We’re so insular we literally forget there are other countries.

On a thread about wearing masks from clevercomebacks

That’s a lot of cathartic comebacks right there. Sort of revs you up to go plant a few yourself. Remember: don’t go looking for a fight. But when the time comes to strike, use the opportunity well.

What’s your favorite comeback lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Enjoy Some of the Best Comebacks Found on the Internet appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Man’s Simple Quest for a Milkshake Got Weird Fast

We’ve all been on late night adventures to grab a snack. It can be a really fun diversion. It can also open up strange, unseen worlds known not to the day-dwellers among us.

But whatever story from your own life you’re now thinking of, I guarantee you it pales in comparison to that of Twitter user Josh Raby, who spelled out his own milkshake misadventure in exquisite, bizarre detail.

Chapter 1: I Am Begging Your Patience

When a midnight craving starts more than you bargained for.

Chapter 2: You Can Have It

Already, he’s not lovin’ it.

Chapter 3: My Desired Milkshake

At this point, nobody really remembers how to communicate.

Chapter 4: I Will Be Very Slow

Dude, I don’t need a milkshake THAT bad.

Chapter 5: A Deep Exhale

Oh. Maybe this isn’t such a funny story.

Chapter 6: An Apple Pie

Let them eat pie, I guess.

Chapter 7: A Weird Series of Beeps

Wait. WHAT?

Chapter 8: I Do Not Want

Quit playin with me, man.

Chapter 9: I Just Want to Go

This is too much.

Chapter 10: No Problem

You’re a part of the relationship now, friend.

Chapter 11: He Has His Thumb Out

So these two are, like, DEFINITELY high right?

Chapter 12: FINE

Why did you think you could just get away with that?

Chapter 13: 37 Minutes

Is this your anniversary or something?

Chapter 14: A Whole Separate Human

Spare a thought for those left behind.

I am agog. I am aghast. I may never seek another late night treat again.

What’s your weird late-night-out story?

Tell us in the comments.

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14 Wild Things Couples Really Fight About

There’s this weird phenomenon on Twitter where people share the funny little things they fight about with their significant others, and sometimes they’re so weird that you’re not sure whether to laugh or message them and ask if they’re ok.

Where’s the line for that?

Let’s see if we can find out with these tweets.

14. If you have to ask

This is what we in the business call a no win situation.

13. Once you pop…

It’s the little things you learn to cherish.

12. What a headache

I think I can see where the pain is coming from.

11. Team thingee

This is also my understanding of the hobby and I’m as disappointed as you are.

10. How boring

Now you’re ready to take on the final boss.

9. Communication is key

“But like, why can’t guys just talk about their feelings?”

8. Rice is nice

Are you opening a soup kitchen or?

7. Well that’s just grate

And once again, the cheese stands alone.

6. The sacred cloth

That is a napkin for the TABLE ONLY.

5. Give me some shade

Little did they know how much they’d miss this season the following year.

4. Nothing to sneeze at

“Oh what I don’t get to sneeze?”

3. Root for the home team!

Look man, I don’t know, I’m just going by jersey color.

2. When life gives you lemons

Hahahahaha (dude run.)

1. All you can eat

Of all the problems to have, this one doesn’t sound too bad.

Remember, if you’re actually fighting all the time about everything, that’s not quirky, that’s toxic.

What’s the silliest thing you and your S/O have fought about?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 14 Wild Things Couples Really Fight About appeared first on UberFacts.

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10 Really Dumb Things Couples Fight About

I guess if you’re in a relationship for long enough, you can just get mad at each other over literally anything.

Especially if, say, you’re in a situation that requires you to stay at home together with pretty much no breaks for months and months at a time.

The couples of Twitter are certainly no stranger to feeling the pressure. That pressure that comes from that feeling that you love ’em so much but also you kinda want them to die for not much of a reason? Take these ten examples.

10. Time management

I don’t know what year any of us are living in anymore.

9. Let it go

Dude. Come on. You did that on purpose.

8. The eyes have it

Maybe ya’ll just need a little bit of breathing room.

7. The secrets we keep

Wait, aren’t you IMDb?

6. Just plane weird

As a lifelong insomniac, I’d like you to apologize to me as well.

5. In the blink of an eye

Given this tweet, I’d guess he was signaling for help in morse code.

4. Chew on that

Gee oh boy, sounds great!

3. Absolutely trashed

I think that placement is pretty much the international signal for “this is not desirable.”

2. A comforting feeling

MAN does this sound like fun!

1. Turn, turn, turn

As long as they’re not licking it, I guess.

I suppose the moral of the story is – if you don’t wanna get mad at your partner over something stupid, don’t have a partner.

What’s the dumbest thing you and an S/O have fought about?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 10 Really Dumb Things Couples Fight About appeared first on UberFacts.

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Totally Random Treasures From the Big Ol’ Internet

The Internet is truly filled with all kinds of wonders. As far as the eye can see, there are posts of all sorts, waiting to delight us, like small treasures found along a path we didn’t even know we’d be traveling today. Plus, unlike most paths traveled, I don’t even have to actually stand up, so that’s a bonus.

In that spirit, won’t you journey with me now through the fields of funny posts? That we may revel in them together? Amen?

Here are ten great funny things you didn’t know you’d be seeing today.

10. Drop it like it’s hot

These Tony Hawk Pro Skater mods are getting out of control.

9. Pour it over

“Need to” and “going to” are two very different things.

8. The horror

And they don’t wanna be there any more than you do.

7. Dark times

That’s what you get for being lame.

6. Ultimate power

You know he’s got this tech in his garage already.

5. Romaine calm

It knows when to strike and when to hold back.

4. Goblin’ it up

Hey, we all gotta play the hand we’re dealt.

https://ritalara.tumblr.com/post/189248874593/not-elegant-enough-to-be-a-vampire-not-jock

3. Get off my lawn

Turn it down!

https://calscurls.tumblr.com/post/134146059467/admiredmgc-absolutetrashh

2. You know too much

Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink.

https://ghostlight01.tumblr.com/post/185645658668/i-am-so-tired-of-peeing-i-drink-the-water-which

1. A balanced diet

I see nothing wrong here.

https://meerkuesse.tumblr.com/post/170447628387/sapphicaspiewitch-drkkn-me-drinking-juice-at

What a wonderful little journey through the internet. Join me on the next one, how about? We’ll stroll again together and discover more treasures then.

What’s your favorite place to find the internet’s gems?

Tell us all about it in the comments, won’t you?

The post Totally Random Treasures From the Big Ol’ Internet appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Questions Teachers Heard Over Zoom

Everyone agrees that teaching kids over Zoom isn’t ideal, but everyone – teachers, students, parents, administrators – has done their best to adapt.

Teachers, especially, have worked to give kids grace as everyone adapts to this new way of being or doing, which is good, since no one probably thought we’d be doing it quite so long.

There are plenty of downsides, but if there’s an upside, it’s that kids are hilarious, and they keep us on our toes – a fact these 12 comments totally prove!

12. Sometimes you’ve just gotta know.

But I mean, come on. Everyone likes grilled cheese.

11. Kid was really dealing with some stuff that day.

The first hangnail is quite the learning experience.

10. Teachers can learn things, too.

Especially the important stuff, like superheroes.

9. No, even though he could ha–

You know what? That’s a whole other discussion.

8. You have to know when they need a break.

Now more than ever.

7. You can teach them life lessons, too.

Unless you don’t know how to cook.

6. That’s what she’s been thinking about all this time.

We all get distracted, right?

5. It’s all over now.

Just go get the dog.

4. She did say they were done with their work.

What was she expecting?

3. I don’t know how the kinder teachers do it.

Those are just babies. They don’t know!

2. What a time to unmute yourself, kid.

Now we all get to find out together.

1. Just try to follow the train of thought.

You can’t. It’s a trick question.

Image Credit: Twitter

The kids are the things that are driving us crazy, but also keeping us sane at the same time, don’t you think?

If you’re a teacher, please add your story in the comments!

The post Hilarious Questions Teachers Heard Over Zoom appeared first on UberFacts.