People Who Escaped A Serious Accident Unscathed Share Their Experiences

When faced with mortality, how can you ever look at things the same?

Life and death experiences are teaching tools—pay attention.

Redditor CrownedBird wanted to hear from everyone who was lucky enough to be able to tell us their close call story.

They asked:

“What moment made you say ‘Yep, I’m definitely dead,’ but survived with no major injuries?”

Shattered

“Not me, but my mom before I was born.”

“She was riding in a convertible with a friend of hers.”

“They came to an intersection and the friend wasn’t paying attention and lost control of the vehicle.”

“There was a big rig going through the intersection and they went right under the trailer.”

“My mom ducked, the driver didn’t not.”

“Driver was decapitated, my mom was lucky and only ended up with a scalp full of glass and some serious psychological trauma.”

“She had to get over 200 stitches in her scalp, but nothing else significant.”

“I think about it all the time and think how close I came to never being born at all.”  ~ Laszerus

Taking the Bend

“I was at the end of a 2 hour journey about 10 mins from home, pretty rural and I was probably complacent because I took that road everyday.”

“I took a bend at 40MPH (legal limit was 60MPH so wasn’t breaking any speeding rules) which I’ve done many times before, probably faster which looking back was really reckless.”

“Didn’t see until it was too late that a car had spun out on the other side of the corner and another car had pulled up to help.”

“I slammed on but I wasn’t going to stop in time before hitting the cars pulled up/crashed.”

“I was hurtling straight towards the other cars and people who where stood in the road from the other crash.”

“It was like time slowed down and I was at a cross roads; in my mind I had three choices.”

“Continue on my path and hit the other cars and people, veer to the right and go into a field but there was oncoming traffic and there was a chance I’d hit them or veer to the left and fly into a wooded area.”

“I chose the last option, and in that moment I knew the chances of me surviving or not being seriously injured after a 40MPH head on collision to a tree in a 10 year old Ford KA was pretty slim.”

“I just felt a complete peace come over me, turned the wheel and woke up slumped over the steering wheel to some poor man shouting ‘OMG I THINK SHES DEAD!!’”

“Turned out I passed out from shock or something before the impact so when I hit the tree I was completely floppy and this contributed to me having no serious injuries.”

“The front of my car was completely disintegrated, after coming to I tried to put my clutch down to take the car out of gear out of habit and my foot hit the tree trunk.”

‘The tree was absolutely fine. I drove past that tree everyday for years after and you could see the chunk my car took out of it.”  ~ Comfortable-Pie8349

Falling to Doom

“I had an idiot friend and we were hiking.”

“We got to this waterfall and he goes ‘dude let’s climb it!’”

“I said no f**king way.”

“He says ‘well I’m gonna do it and if I fall and die it’s on you for not coming.’”

“So I climbed it with him.”

“Got stuck halfway up on a slick a** rock.”

“Pinched a nerve in my shoulder, so my right arm was useless.”

“I thought I was certain to slip off the rock to my doom, but we managed to get me unstuck.”

“That was the beginning of the end for that friendship.”  ~ blindfire40

Rolling in the Deep

I survived a car crash that wrecked my car.”

“Rolled twice, landed upside down, learned the hard way that I didn’t have airbags (or at least they didn’t deploy).”

“Did have my seatbelt on though, that probably saved me.”

“Paramedic said he hadn’t seen a wreckage like that and have it end well.”

“Not even a hairline fracture.”  ~ Chempenguin

Well this is it…

“I went out for a surf on a stormy day and thought to myself, ‘no one else is out, those idiots.’”

“Before being held down by 2 waves after eating it on the first wave of the set.”

“First wave of the session.”

“Was thrown down and held under and while being tossed around my leg rope wrapped around both my legs and one of my arms so I was probably being held at around 5ft under with only one arm free while my board tombstoned.”

“Board tip is barely visible at the surface but floats vertical like… a tombstone.”

“Finally managed to catch a breath between sets before taking another 3 or 4 on the head and for sure just thought… well this is it.”

“No ones out, fishermen will find my body or my board.”

“Managed to get my other arm free and got to shore very quickly and then avoided the ocean for a few days even though the waves were absolutely perfect.”

“There’s a reason no one was out, everyone else was 10 minutes down the road at another beach where the waves were smaller and cleaner.”  ~ Gigiskapoo

In Air Issues

“Parachute deployed but failed to open.”

“That was one of those moments, than training kicked in.”

“Cut away failed chute, deploy secondary.”

“But for a brief moment life was about to be over in my mind.”  ~ GREYDRAGON1

Hanging in the Balance

“Tire popped going over a two lane road with steep drops on both sides.”

“My car jerked to the side hard, and my car went sideways.”

“Half my car hung over the side and luckily it’s low so it bottomed out.”

“I climbed into the back seat and jumped out the back door.”

“Some dude in a truck pulled me out and I drove on a flat to the other side and swapped my tire out.”  ~ pineappledaddy

How Am I Alive?

“I was driving in the left lane of a highway going 80.”

“A car didn’t check their bond spot and merged into me.”

“I was run off the road and lost control of the car.”

“It flipped and dragged along the highway for 200 feet.”

“I remember the sparks flying up at me in slow motion.”

“The only damage to be was cuts on my arm from done glass.”

“My girlfriend just had a few cuts on her leg.”

“When I look at the photos of the car it doesn’t look like anything could have survived that.”  ~ ImpressivelyLost

From the Rear

“I was driving down a highway, doing 65 MPH, and suddenly my car started to shake.”

“I tapped the brakes in reflex and my entire car flipped 180 degrees.”

“I’m now facing oncoming traffic, including a semi truck.”

“I was so close I couldn’t see the driver compartment.”

“I screamed and jerked the wheel, bringing me in front of a sedan with two people screaming as they watched me appear out of nowhere.”

“I kept screaming and floored the gas pedal.”

“Made it to the side of the road and cried for a long time.”

“I had blown a rear tire. Hitting the brakes was a terrible terrible choice.”  ~ AhFFSImTooOldForThis

Bad Highways

“I was driving home from college on one of those highways with only one lane in either direction and no shoulder.”

“A guy in the oncoming lane didn’t see me as I was in a small car.”

“He thought he could pass 4 18 wheelers in one go and pulled into my lane going at least 90.”

“There was no where for me to go.”

“He flew off into the ditch to avoid hitting me head on, likely did severe damage to his car, but I lived!”  ~ pilatesse

That is a lot to process.

I never want to get in a car again and skydiving is definitely out.

People Describe The Exact Moment They Instantly Regretted Showing Up For A Date

Sometimes we’re just better off being alone.

That is a life fact many of us need to come to grips with.

So Redditor Zuzpo wanted to hear from everybody who has been disappointed on the search for a mate—sometimes that free dinner just ain’t worth it.

They asked:

“What was the moment you realized that you shouldn’t have showed up to a date?”

I’m Pooped Out!!

“An alleged friend told me her coworker and I would be great together and wanted to do a double date at a festival with her and her husband.”

“Date suggested he and I meet up the night before to get to know each other and I suggested a gaming bar I’d wanted to try.”

“Date time arrives and he’s not there.”

“He finally shows up and tells me he had to stop home to let the dogs out so they don’t s**t all over the floor.”

“He then proceeds to show me a picture of a floor covered in dog s**t and says guess it didn’t work.”

“He is still wearing his work clothes.”

“It has been three hours since work ended and he went home to deal with the dogs but didn’t change.”

“He proceeds to eat the rest of the charcuterie plate I ordered by himself and then orders wings for himself.”

“We decide to check out a game since I have now paid for more game time.”

“He wants a mall madness game that is not designed for two people.”

“We settle on a playable game. It’s not great.”

“As we are wrapping up he tells me the last date he took here fucked him in the parking lot he stares at me expertly.”

“I tell him that’s not going to happen.”

“I tell my friend I’m skipping the festival.”

“He’s shocked and thought we had a spark.”  ~ Polyf**kery

Wouldn’t it be better to just be gay?

“My mom met a nice girl during the day, unknown to me.”

“My mom and I were supposed to go out for dinner that night.”

“She invites the girl, unknown to me, then ditches the dinner once she knows she has set me up on a date.”

“My mom was very worried I was gay at the time.”

“The girl and I get to chatting over drinks, she’s fun, flirty, cute – and a meth-addicted prostitute who thought it was some weird kink game that she was being hired to get into the middle of.”

“So…YEA. She was understanding when we realized the mix-up, but I gave my mom shit for that one for years.”   ~ Yvaelle

Maybe I’ll Drive

“He was picking me up and texted me ‘here’ a little early so he had plenty of time to do this before I got down to his car.”

“But he waited until I opened the door and there was about a dozen magazines (like rifle mags) on the passenger’s seat and he said ‘hope you’re not some crazy liberal! don’t mind these mags.’”

“And then brushed them onto the floor. It was super awkward/cringy.”

“Also it was my first date since I rough breakup and the rest of it was just as bad if not worse, I ended up crying in the bathroom half way through.”  ~ lebrunjemz

From Hinge to “Unhinged!”

“Matched with a girl on Plenty Of Fish, we were talking for a while and she worked out she knew someone I had worked with in the past.”

“I asked him what she was like, he said she’s ok and not ‘mental or anything’, little did I know he really didn’t like me because I was better at the job then he was and he was straight up lying his a** off.”

“So I arrange a coffee date between our houses, she only lived like 5-10 minutes away and the nearest shopping centre cafe was 10 minutes away.”

“I arrive and wait a few minutes and in walks this girl 10-15kg heavier then her display picture with a baby in a pram, she recognised me and sat down like this was normal.”

“The entire time we had been talking she’d told me she had a daughter who was 2, I told her I had a 2 year old son as well.”

“Turns out her daughter was 2 months not 2 years and she never corrected the fact.”

“Also this is the first time we had met and she asked me 5 minutes into the date if I could buy her baby formula.”

“One look at her and I could tell she actually needed the formula and was in a desperate situation so I bought it for her because I’m a sucker and didn’t want her baby to starve.”

“I politely told her it was never going to work because she straight up lied, she said yeah fair enough and left.”

“About 2 months later I was talking to another girl on POF who happened to be friends with her, she seemed normal and not like the complete psychopath I’m sure she was.”

“The crazy one from the first part of the story rang me (she stalked me through my friends) and told me how the 2nd one was bats**t mental, I said I didn’t believe her and she hung up on me.”

“Ten minutes later my messenger starts going off, it’s girl #1 sending film clips and news articles of girl #2 having a complete psychotic break and torching her ex boyfriends car.”

“On camera in a shopping centre.”

“So it all worked out well and I dodged the bigger bullet because girl #1 thought I was too nice a guy to deserve girl #2.”  ~ Aussiegamer1987

Stalker

“I went on a date a few months after me and my college gf had broken up.”

“I had matched with this girl off of tinder and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the break up.”

“I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later.”

“I walked in the restaurant and my ex is sitting at the table under that girl’s name.”

“I turned around to walk out and got a tinder notification from the girl I had agreed to meet ‘you’ll never be able to get away from me.’”

“Should have stayed home that night, and steer clear of blind dates.”  ~ Automatic_Doctor4934

Good Luck

“When at the party I met her at and her boyfriend said ‘Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her s**t.’”  ~ cleric3648

Use an Uber

“When he said ‘wow you even walk like a guy!’”

“As soon as he got out of my car. Whatever that means.”

“He then proceeded to be racist, sexist, and homophobic during this ‘date’, which was more of a monologue from his part, and even implied I’m fat and that he had no interest in me before trying to kiss me.”

“Please don’t take people you don’t know on dates using your car.”

“You’ll be stranded with them.”   ~ redvaporeon-sk

And you are?

“When he said he was actually from an entirely different state.”

“He looked completely different from his photos and then asked if he could borrow $400 for Methadone before we even ordered.”

“I left immediately. Been stalking me for over ten years. Fun times.” ~ AlienFemTech

Suspicious Behavior

“She was a kleptomaniac.”

“Thought she was exaggerating or maybe just went through a tough time.”

“Then she showed me the pile of legal paperwork.”

“She was on 1st name terms with the judge she had been to court so many times.”

“Then she asked me to touch her back.”

“Said she felt super sweaty from the MCAT she’d taken and then showed me how she disposed of her used needles because she was a heroin addict.”

“Should have noped out sooner but she was sweet but yeah, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend.”  ~ DeadlyChaffinch

Gross…

“When he didn’t let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids chicken tender meal- I’m 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself he spit pieces of chicken at/on me.”  ~ EstetheAinur

Yeah, I’m just going to plan for a Golden Girls scenario.

This is nonsense—wildly entertaining to read about… but nonsense none the less.

People Divulge The Absolute Best Break Up Lines They’ve Ever Heard

Nobody likes pick-up lines delivered unironically.

We have no idea why Hollywood let people believe they actually work for anything other than a laugh (which might be a solid angle if you’re generally funny) but if you’re expecting someone to melt because you gave them a “How YOU doin’?” then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

Having said all that, the idea of something that functions as the opposite of a pick up line is something LOTS of people like.

Reddit user Jamicandude69 asked: 

“IF people used ‘break up lines’ instead of ‘pick up lines’ what would some of them be??”

Honestly, people are hilariously savage.

Enjoy!

Treasure

“They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.”

– giantcabbage_

“Dang, that one has sharp edges.”

– LettuceJizz

“Reminds me of ‘if only there was someone who actually loved you’ from Frozen 😭

– kurt200

“That line was surprisingly savage for a kids’ movie.”

“I just remember loudly and involuntarily going ‘daaaaaamn dude’ when I watched it for the first time with my son.”

– dalevis

Weighing Me Down

“Hey, are you an anchor? Because you’ve done nothing but weigh me down.”

– ExistentialBob

“This’ll work great if you can work in relationSHIP, ya know to really nail home the ship pun.”

– Plasmashark4

“I don’t sea why not.”

– ExistentialBob

“I used this line in my wedding speech!”

” ‘I love you with all my heart. You’re like my anchor.’  *pause for group awww* ‘…you’re always weighing me down’ *room erupts in laughter* “

“Wife wasn’t as pleased, but I’m a sucker for a good laugh lol”

– brodo87

Bad Reception

“Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.”

– _iPood_

“I have a new pet name for you, baby. It’s ‘T-Mobile’ because we’re breaking up.”

– truth__bomb

“My dumbass would even realize I was being broken up with.”

“I would’ve been like ‘Nope, not going through a tunnel, must be spotty reception.’ “

– RiggityRyne

“This one is best used when said right to there face followed by fake static noises (think crumbling paper) “

– ramonpasta

Continental Drift

“Are we tectonic plates? Because we’re drifting apart.”

– comrade_batman

“The friction between us has left me crumpled and quaking with anger.”

– gaviniboom

“Are we a fault line? Cause all there is between us is friction and future devastation.”

– Devlee12

“The use of tectonic plates could also be used as the pick up line for the same person. For example:”

” ‘Are you a tectonic plate? Cause I’d love to to ram into you with force resulting in tremendous friction and heat.’ “

– [Reddit]

Covering Ground

“We need to cover more ground so we should split up.”

– HyperNathan

“Call me Fred because I’m honestly not sure if splitting up is the right decision right now. but it feels like it probably is.”

– allToast

“Hey girl, are we the Scooby-Doo gang? Because I think we should split up and look for new clues.”

– A-A-RONS7

Celestial Bodies

“You remind me of Halley’s Comet. I don’t wanna see you again for another 74 years.”

– Victim_of_Conscience

“So you’re telling me there’s a chance?”

– oatmeal28

“But I would like to see Halley’s Comet more often than that, and I would prefer to just never see my ex again…”

– sticktoyaguns

“You’re the sun of my life, so please stay 93.79 million miles away from me.”

– personbelowmeistrash

A New Issue

“Hey girl, are you a newspaper? Because there’s a new issue with you every f*cking day.”

– ghostofoutkast

“I had a guy once tell me I had more issues than a magazine.”

“I thought it was kinda clever, but we’d only been talking for a couple weeks and this was in response to my telling him I didn’t want to date, so I also thought it was a bit dramatic on his part.”

– MissBanana_

“Hey girl, are you a newspaper?”

“Because I’m replacing you with a better designed, more entertaining, cheaper way of getting what I need.”

– benchoderashka

“Hey girl, are you a newspaper? Because I’d like to leave you you laying in my driveway for weeks and run you over with my car a few times”

– panzershark

Time Share

“Hey babe are you a time share? Because I’ve been trying to get out of this for like 3 years. You’re a waste of f*cking money and you’re only available when I’m not.”

– WilliamMurderfacex3

“The maintenance fees are too high and nobody wants to trade.”

– NorseZymurgist

“And the only good times I have are blackout dates!”

– AncientMarinade

“.. and when I’m in you I’m always thinking about other places that are more fun.”

– OncewasaBlastocoel

Pure Poetry

“I knew this girl in middle school who would break up with boys by saying:”

” ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.’ “

– ledge-14

“Um… so I really wanna thank you for unlocking a core memory. That happened to me in elementary school and I was heart broken even at like age 7.”

– Imacultofpersonality

“Did you know me!?”

“I used this on 2 guys in middle school but they were dweebs. I wasn’t as great as I thought I was at the time.”

“Oh well.”

– ladymethis

Keepin’ It Classy

“I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.”

– bow2sensei

“That is so good. Wish I would have thought to say that as a parting line to my ex-wife!”

– Grace_Upon_Me

“I’m sure there’s a commercial playing right now, Totally Sauvage.”

– dontdoitdoitdoit

Evidence

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’re evidence that I made a mistake.”

– maleorderbride

“This is actually my favorite. Thank you.”

– wiry1983

A Spark

“I once used this one to explain when pressed.

” ‘It’s like we’re an American outlet and a European plug. There were sparks at first but I just don’t get the energy.’ “

– mstrblueskys

We Deserved Better

“Hey girl are you season eight of Game of Thrones? Because I never want to see you again and hopefully I can forget you even exist.”

– 300ConfirmedShaves

Childhoods Ruined

“Hey girl, are you movies from my childhood?”

“Because I used to think you were cute and fun but now I see that you’re horrifying and inappropriate in all sorts of ways I never thought of back then.”

– ChronicBitRot

Got a break up line you want to add? Hit us up in the comments!

People Break Down The Most Overrated Films Of All Time

We love movies and it’s that time of year again—the time when movies are extra special.

It’s awards season!

The one thing that’s always examined in awards season, is seasons past.

Everyone loves to discuss the movies that failed to live up to the hype.

Redditor hootyowlscissors wanted to discuss all movies where the hype just didn’t add up.

They asked:

“What is the most massively overrated film of all time and why?”

Reddit was quick to respond…

Reese couldn’t make it work…

“Water for elephants. The book was really good but the movie barely told the story.”  ~ Icy_Gap6980

“I LOVE Reese Witherspoon but I find she often doesn’t have chemistry with men in her movies.”

“She plays characters where it works anyways, but I can’t think of anything where she really amazing chemistry with a costar.” ~ ingenfara

“I loved the movie, but heard that people who read the book (which I still haven’t) wouldn’t have liked it.”

“The same thing was true about ‘The Firm.’”

“I had read the book and saw it in the theater with a friend who hadn’t.”

“She thought it was one of the best movies she’d ever seen, and I said ‘That’s not in the book!’”

“So many times, the man in front of me turned around and told me to shut up.”  ~ notthesedays

The Oscar Upset!!

“Shakespeare in Love. And it beat Saving Private Ryan for best picture FFS…”  ~ Millerzeit

“I used to think the same but the real winner should have been life is beautiful.”

“Saving Private Ryan is a masterpiece but life is beautiful is cinema perfection.”

The character is amazing and the things he did for his son.”

“Ugh i cry every time i see it because through all that nonsense his son never got to see the brutality of it and he got his tank.” ~ crazymo121

“Yes Shakespeare in love was operated.”

“But for comedy I think it good.”

“Geoffrey Rush’s role he played was just great.”

“I think if some one besides Gweneth was cast, it might have been much better.”

“Could not stand Saving Private Ryan, but one of my husband’s favorites.”  ~ happyhappy2986

press stop…

“Crash. Pure pandering, shi**y script, one-dimensional characters, the whole shebang that should not have even been nominated for crap.”  ~freebird12g

The Blue People…

“HOLY S**T NO ONE STILL LIKES AVATAR STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!”

“Now it’s overHATED.”  ~ devilthedankdawg

“Seriously, it’s an ok movie.”

“It has good but not crazy good reviews, and that’s totally fair.”

“But Saying it’s ferngully/Pocahontas/Dances with Wolves doesn’t make you smart, you are just repeating the same thing said by every person ever.”

“It just got an insane amount of money because of the spectacle of it and how much word of mouth it had to.”

“And, yeah, to give credit to Avatar, it looks FANTASTIC. It still looks a lot better than a lot of CGI today!”  ~ Lucienofthelight

But it has Sandra…

“Bird box.”  ~ Loooooooooppp

“The book was very good in my opinion.”

“I watched the movie and it made me so mad. Horrible movie.” ~ FrenchMushr00m

“This movie always annoyed me, the ending was so convenient and there was no catharsis or lessons learned, as well the monsters ability was never shown.”

“I thought the movie would have been much better it had ended with her after accepting responsibility and love for the adopted child and taking the boat down the rapids.”

“She would elect not to wear a mask to protect the children.”

“She would inadvertently see a monster and then ‘witness’ her child and adopted child die in the rapids, and she is so ridden with grief she kills herself.”

“The children would not actually have died and they would find the sanctuary.”

“I feel like that would have given the movie a meaning and an edge that was missing.” ~ OHFUGGYEAHBUDS

Poor Arnold…

“I digress, the most underrated film of all time is Conan the Barbarian circa 1981.”  ~ FinancialArtichoke75

“I liked that film but got mocked by my classmates for having it on DVD, so I lied, and I said it was a porno and the label read Conan as a diversion.”

“And then I didn’t get mocked.”

“Anyway, what I really came to say was that the question was about overrated films, and you replied about underrated films.”  ~ Kriskao

Nonsense…

“I have two:”

“The Purge movies.”

“Not only is the premise mind numbingly illogical with so so many ramifications, but I find it really hard to believe that the entire country would go on killing sprees instead of stealing s**t and doing drugs.”

“Paranormal Activity. Oh no, the chair suddenly moved after a half hour of nothing else happening!”  ~ Yuiopy78

“It was a way to ‘stir up the hornets nest’ if that makes sense.”

“They wanted to justify the first purge so they could repeat it annually.”

“They wouldn’t have been able to do so if crime was low on that specific night so they used mercs instigate some violence.”

“The ‘concept’ of the purge is that overall it would decrease crime and homelessness since everyone would be releasing their anger on purge night and ultimately targeting homeless people.”

“Great movie concept, illogical as f**k though.”

“Later in the series we find out the purge does nothing towards crime and poverty and I just an excuse for rich people to go bats**t crazy.”  ~ inframeWS

“Let it Go… Let it Go…”

“Frozen. I liked the idea of two female leads for a Disney Princess movie, but I feel the execution was off the mark.”

“The Hans twist was predictable and the way Elsa freezes Anna’s heart to trigger an ‘impending death’ was just stupid.”

“Olaf was also annoying and I did not find his love of Summer endearing.” ~ TelemachusTheYoung

Not THAT movie!

“The English Patient. I almost got thrown out of the theater at one point for screaming ‘just f**king die already!’”  ~ 12altoids34

“I used to ask people what movie they hated that everyone else seems to love.”

“It was one of my favorite questions to get to know someone.”

“I eventually had to modify it to say ‘what movie do you hate that everyone you know loves, but it can’t be The English Patient’ because literally everyone hated it.”  ~ crankyweasels

Lost in Space…

“Gravity. Everyone raved on it and how amazing it was.”

“I once described the entire film to someone in 10 seconds.”  ~ sfkf8486

“If you watched it in theatres, it was amazing.”

“If you watched it at home it sucked.”

“Everything amazing about it was atmosphere and immersion.”  ~ Ardentpause

In the end art is subjective.

There are a few movies on this list I really liked.

Except for The English Patient.

When I think about the six hours I wasted… sorry three hours, it just felt like six.

Anybody feel the need to add to the list?

Teachers Disclose The Absolute Worst Thing A Student Has Ever Done To Them

Being a teacher is one of the most noble professions there is, but it’s not a walk in the park.

Teachers are underpaid and underappreciated.

Besides teaching, the amount of drama they have to deal with is unimaginable.

So Redditor TheRealZFinch wanted to hear from all the educators who have had to endure while teaching other people’s children.

They asked:

“Teachers of Reddit, what’s the worst thing a student did to you?”

Evil Parents

“I had a parent push me, spit on me and slap me when she came to my classroom unannounced, because I had given her daughter a detention for spitting in my face.”

“Parent denied it, school did nothing. Don’t teach anymore! I’m in Australia FYI.” ~ Apprehensive-Ad4244

“My girlfriend also wants to quit teaching because of shitty kid’s parents.”  ~ NeokratosRed

“I feel for you, you do years worth of difficult training because you want to work with and help children, change the world for the better, and you wind up being crap on every day instead by parents.”

“Luckily, teaching skills are very transferrable, I’m now in the disability services industry.”  ~Apprehensive-Ad4244

Bad Kids…

“A friend of mine is a teacher is a rough neighborhood.”

“One day immediately after school she got a call from the principal telling her to stay in her classroom with the door locked instead of leaving like she normally did.”

“The police arrested one of her students, who had bragged to another student about kidnapping the teacher.”

“He was arrested waiting by her car with a knife and zip ties.”  ~ SoullessDad

Private School Drama…

“I was slammed against a wall by a 17 year old kid who then wiped his hands all over my face and kissed me.”

“One other student saw and she laughed. I left the position immediately. It was a private drama school.”  ~ Ieatclowns

Birmingham UK…

“I’ve been mostly lucky, but I’ve had 2 bad ones, both while training.”

“Both these were in Birmingham UK.”

“A student aged 7 brought a Stanley knife into school and was taking it out of his pocket and messing with it while looking straight at me.”

“It was pretty scary knowing he knew exactly what he was doing.”

“A very aggressive child attacked me, digging his nails into my arm and drawing blood. He then twisted my arm backwards.”

“That was a fun report.”

“I’ve also had a chair thrown at me. Fun times.”  ~ Winchesters_TARDIS

“Hey, also Birmingham, UK here!”

“But I am still a student, in Sixth Form right now.”

“The following stories are all from secondary, though.”

“One of my friends almost started a physical confrontation with a teacher, to the point that they were physically yelling at each other and squaring up.”

“Another time a group of boys yelled sexual expletives at a female member of staff (the boys that few people liked, the number of their friends decreased YoY).”

“Teachers started searching students bags because so many people were bringing in weapons. “

“In a school near mine, a teacher got stabbed, chairs were being thrown around, a teachers arm got broken, it was bad – but that wasn’t my school.”

KABOOM!

“Mine still had its fair share of incidents not pertaining to teachers, but we were not that bad thankfully.”  ~ mxlevolent

“I’ll never forget the day I had a student light off a firework in my classroom.”

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever had a student do in my classroom, but it’s definitely the most unexpected thing that I’ve had happen.”

“I’ve been called things by students, and I even got pushed by a student once.”

“But looking back on all of those situations I feel as if they could have been avoided had I built up better relationships with those students or handled the situations that lead up to them differently.”

“With the firework in class, it was completely out of the blue and not at all something I feel like I could have prevented.”

“It just happened randomly one day, and I will never understand why the student decided to set it off during class.”  ~ DerekIsAGooner

Feeling the Bounce!!

“I had a student run into me and bounce off of me.”

“She then accused me of shoving her and hurting her back.”

“I was relieved of my position and I resigned.”

‘”Fortunately the footage shows that I was hit by her, but I still lost my job.”

“After an inquiry with the Texas Education Agency they found i did nothing wrong and I got to keep my license.”

“Fortunately I was offered a position with a government contractor making more money with a lot less stress.”

“I never want to step foot in a classroom as a teacher ever again.”  ~ Damnpenguins4269

Let Go!!

“I had a student grab my arm, then later claim I grabbed him back.”

“His parents wanted to press charges, have me arrested, but the SRO refused, as he’d already taken a dozen witness statements corroborating my version.”

“I got very lucky. Another teacher had to sit for months at central office while CPS investigated baseless claims.”  ~ lazy_days_of_summer

“Out loud to the whole class, I had a student wish cancer on my unborn son.”

“Had another student say he would shoot my wife.”

“This one wasn’t so bad, but could’ve been—one female student started a rumor that she was my favorite and that I thought she was cute.”

“I had to proactively reach out to leadership to put that one down before it got bad.”

“In general, tons of swearing and disrespect.”

“Most of it is due to childhood trauma and home life, but yeah, teaching is great but being a teacher can suck.”  ~ mywifemademegetthis

Feel the Warm

“I taught toddlers, and they consistently wanted to sit in my lap.”

“I had a few girls climb up in my lap, smile sweetly, and pee all over me. It’s amazing how a 5-gallon bladder fits in a pint sized body.”  ~ schnozzberryflop

Terrifying…

“I taught elementary kids in Korea and they were honestly angels.”

“But when I subbed for a friend’s high school class for a week I had a student and his friends try to lock me in the classroom alone with them while they acted really overbearing and sexual.”

“It was terrifying, but thankfully didn’t last long at all as the VP came to have lunch with me 2 minutes in.”  ~ punctuationist

Crazy

“A colleague was stalked by a kid.”

‘”Found out where she lived, where she shopped, what her routine was.”

“Used to get her friends to stand outside her house and harass her outside Tesco.”

“She would make comments in class, such as ‘aren’t green curtains nice?’”

“Knowing the teacher had green curtains, for example.”

“It got so bad she got the police involved and ended up moving house.” ~ Evening_Rose_619

We need our educators.

They don’t deserve abuse.

Be better kids and parents.

Married Couples Confess How Often They Actually Have Sex With Their Partner

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes and, of course, with all different types of sex drives.

ACES exist and can be happily married, after all.

Married couples got together on Reddit to share how often they actually had sex with their partners. Some even shared how long they had been together or how happy they were as a couple.

Some of the responses were really telling, and others were absolutely surprising.

Redditor David-Davis1 asked:

“Married couples, how frequently do you have sex with your partner?”

Some were familiar with dead bedrooms.

“What is this ‘sex’ thing you speak of?” – ThinkingGoldfish

“When she feels like it. So. Once every few months.”

“And before I get the ‘but don’t you talk to her about it,’ yeah, we’re 22 years in, and we’ve had all the f**king discussions, conversations, etc. it’s when she wants. I’m tired of being rejected.” – wormholeweapons

“Same here, and it sucks – married 22 years, and it’s been nearly four years since she felt like it.” – PacmanTurnerOvadrive

“Used to have a very healthy sex life. Currently, have a 12-week-old child. We occasionally refer to him as ‘our cute c**kblock.’ So yes, at the minute, almost never.” – haveyouseenmywetsuit

“23 years. Used to be 2-3 per week. Haven’t touched each other in 3 years though. Not sure we’ll make 25.” – kurt_go_bang

Others were more familiar with the events that killed the bedroom magic.

“Is she carrying the larger share of the emotional load for both of your lives? Does she do all the organization and administration for your home, kids, vacations, holidays, etc?”

“Because if she does, then I expect she’s tired and doesn’t feel close to you or loved by you. Love is a verb, what are you doing to love her?”

“And by that, I don’t mean instigating sex. Sex comes because everything else is in balance. You should both be the same amount of tired at bedtime, you’re a team.” – fairiestoldmeto

“It’s the mental load. My husband does stuff but it’s me who organizes it. For example, cooking is the easy part. Someone has to decide what to have for meals, do the shopping, etc. And that’s me.”

“We both work full-time but because I am available at times to get kids to school and run them to sports etc., I have to fit it all in. It’s f**king exhausting and I’m not interested in sex at all because I have no time to myself.” – tinkleberry2

“There’s also the social labor! Birthdays, holidays, events, picking out what someone will wear, buying gifts, organizing travel, etc.” – JillianWho

“My wife has a number of mental health issues and the meds have basically turned her off of sex altogether. It’s rough but I guess the alternative is she goes off meds and commits s**cide, so I will just deal with the no sex.” – ThickumsMagoo

“My wife had a low sex drive when she was breastfeeding each of our kids. She’s still breastfeeding the second but going to stop soon… I broke my back 3 years ago and was on some medications.. my sex drive was low… it can be a vicious cycle.”

“Women tend to want to have sex when there is a lot of help, support, non-sexual affection… Men sometimes only feel loved when there is physical affection.. it can get out of control when both partners are building their respective control wall.” – ggs_golf

“This needs to be something more men/people understand. You can’t expect sex just because you are married. It’s HIGHLY unattractive to have a SO (significant other) that puts in the bare minimum when it comes to kids and house chores.”

“I work full-time also but still do the majority of the house/baby work. We have sex when I want it and that’s pretty much it. If you don’t put forth effort, don’t expect your SO to want to have sex all the time.” – T00tSw33t090

But some responses were promising.

“12 years of marriage and 17 total years together. We usually have sex about 2-3 times a week.” – TheRaistLine

“If we are busy with work, then it’s once every other week. When we’re on holiday, off work or have a low work period. 2-3 times a week.” – laugh_if_you_agree

“I don’t have kids but I found that once I went from living apart to living together, the sex increased a bit simply because we only had really been seeing each other once a week or so.”

“When we moved in together, suddenly it was like, ‘”ow, it’s 5:30 on a Tuesday afternoon and I can just have sex? Let’s do it!’” – lupuscapabillus

“Find the right woman, and marriage is wonderful. The ‘spark’ turns into a full-on bonfire some days and those days are really great.”

“I don’t think the spark leaves, I just think people stop trying or stop caring about the marriage, which leads to sex becoming a weapon or a reward or something. Marriages take work. You realize it’s no longer the goal to ‘get married,’ you know?”

“It’s just the start of a new way to do things, but you definitely have to keep the fire lit and if you do a good job, you can keep a nice little fire going all the time that at any moment you or your spouse can just add a bit of fuel to the fire and off you go.” – betterthanamaster

“I’m excited to get married. It’s a mixed bag. Some marriages are so filled with love.” – jesse-james-

Others were less frequent but still acceptable.

“Twice a week (Wednesdays and Saturday or Sunday).”

“0 points for spontaneity.”

“10 points for consistency” – steelingjackalope317

“For parents, you’ll get into the golden period, though, with kids where they take these long naps in the middle of the day and then sleep through the night, usually around 12 months to 24 months.”

“Some days it’ll be rough because babies can be handsy and make mom or dad just feel over-touched, but more often, you get the kid down and unless you have to be somewhere or do something, you’ll jump each other.”

“And that sex is great sex because you both know it could end at any time. Kind of like a feeling of, ‘Ooh, we shouldn’t be doing this. What if someone (the baby) catches us?’ It’s fun.” – betterthanamaster

“We have a tween and busy schedules – I just never want our child to hear… so probably 2-5x a month… if we have time to ourselves or if the kid is away, it’s daily, lol (laughing out loud)… but it’s still amazing, and crave each other. Just complicated with kiddos and life.” – No_Interaction7679

“Together 13 years, married 5. Sometimes twice a day, sometimes twice a month. Sometimes life gets in the way, sometimes we can’t get enough of each other.” – NotMeBuyMyCat

“Been living together for 4 years, married for 2. Usually 3-5 times a week, depending on how we’re feeling. There’s some fluctuation based on hormones and overall wellness, and some based on time of year, but very seldom less than 3 times a week.”

“We have a good time. We’ve been working from home together since the pandemic, and we have significantly more sex just due to proximity. Honestly, the pandemic has been a net positive for our relationship, weirdly enough.” – Cadwaladur

These responses were incredibly eye-opening about relationships, including the fact marriage, length of the relationship, or even the amount of sex, do not guarantee happiness.

Rather, it’s about the couple and that each person’s needs are being met.

Whether that means getting together twice a week or twice a year, that’s up to them.

People Explain Which Items They Would Rescue First If Their House Was On Fire

Few things are as frightening as the prospect of burning to death in a fire. Many people live in fear of something like that happening.

Now suppose you wake up to find that your home is on fire. You’re terrified. What do you do? What do you grab, if anything at all?

Do you just try to get outside as quickly as possible? Or do you happen to have a plan in place?

People shared their stories with us after Redditor T3ermin8or asked the online community:

“If your house was about to burn down, what would you try and save first?”

“I truly had to think about this…”

“I truly had to think about this last night as the Colorado fires were just a few miles away. It was devastating looking around the house and realizing so much in your house doesn’t matter.” ~ BatmanandMe123

“We both went into robot mode…”

“We had to evacuate last night and it was the craziest feeling. Luckily our house is okay. We both went into robot mode just efficiently getting what we need, popping the dogs in the hatchback, and off we went.”

“We were in traffic on 287 when I realized that my wife and I forgot our winter coats, she was wearing slippers, and I’d left my wallet and every important document we have in my office. Glad I remembered the almond milk though…” ~ gregmaddux

“As time went on…”

“Retired Firefighter here. When I was a kid our house burned down. As time went on, it was the family photos we missed the most. I always grabbed photo albums when I saw them. The owners often cried when they realized the photos were saved.” ~ Skyist

“I guess I’m supposed to say…”

“I guess I’m supposed to say my children, but I’ve got a chocolate orange I’ve not started yet. So it’ll be a tough one.” ~ Good-Helicopter-9303

“You don’t have time…”

“This is gonna sound outrageous, but in a fire emergency, this will save your cats’ lives… Put the cat in a pillowcase. Carry them out that way. You don’t have time to get their crates, and you definitely don’t have time to fight with them about going in them.”

“Put the cat in a pillowcase, and you’ll be able to safely and quickly transport them to safety and hold them securely. If you carry them out in your arms, they may jump down and sprint away, or claw at you in fright.”

“But a cat in a pillowcase, no matter how angry and traumatized they might be, is staying in the pillowcase. If it’s a life or death, burning house emergency? Put your cat in your pillowcase.” ~ PotassiumArsenic

“Assuming my family…”

“Assuming my family and dogs are safe and my important documents are in the safe where they belong I have a couple guitars that have sentimental value to me. I’d grab those.” ~ GuntherPonz

“I have a bag of documents…”

“I have a bag of documents that are a pain in the ass to get. Birth certificate, taxes, diplomas. Thats an easy grab, once i have that, i grab my pets, and, if i have time, my box of MTG rares, including my Unlimited Dual Lands, which I’ll offload to offset the costs of recovery.” ~ WanderingGenesis

“In the hallway closet…”

“In the hallway closet there is a box containing all of my family’s photos. I would grab that and get it out as soon as possible. Any photos on the walls are copies.”

“If I had time the next thing would be my home server. It has a s**t load of important files and about 10 TB of movies and TV shows which would help pass time in the hotel or wherever after the fire.”

“I also have a bunch of ammo that’s not in a fireproof safe so I would want to get that out so it doesnt go off and hurt anyone. But the pictures are #1 priority. I plan on digitizing all of them but it’s a lot of work.” ~ immacannibal

“There’s really nothing sentimental…”

“My lungs. Instead of saving material items, I would much prefer to leave as quickly as possible to avoid exposure to the incredibly toxic smoke.”

“There’s really nothing sentimental in the apartment (all old photos have been backed up on a cloud service) and everything else is covered by insurance (video going through all the possessions is also on the cloud).”

“Sure it will be a burden to deal with insurance, but stuff is just stuff and is all replaceable. Other than that, I don’t know if it counts, but I do keep a set of pajamas and slippers on the window sill. It is placed here intentionally so that it can be grabbed in the event of an emergency.”

“If I’m sleeping (always naked), I would grab them on my way out. Doing so should hopefully spare my neighbors the immediate vomiting associated with seeing the grotesque sight of my naked body.” ~ SandwichFries

“We do our best…”

“Firefighter here. We do our best to conduct salvage operations during a structure fire when possible. We try to cover furniture with tarps and shove pictures inside of drawers and even save some to take out with us.”

“Your insurance can pay for the lost materialistic things but it can’t replace the only good photo you have of your loved one, and as a firefighter I do my best to prevent unnecessary damage from not only fire and smoke but water damage.” ~ Okfeeling9598

“Sometimes it feels like…”

“This has unfortunately happened to me twice in my life.”

“The first time it was in my 20s and my upstairs apartment neighbors burned the place down with a candle. I was home at the time and I went back in to grab my very valuable musical instruments. It wasn’t the safest thing to do, but I never really felt terribly in danger.”

“The second time I was/am in my 40s and an arsonist attacked one of my neighbors in my nice little quiet condominium complex at 3 a.m.. They never found the culprit. I nearly died as I slept right through all of the smoke alarms and woke up to a place on fire and full of smoke.”

“My neighbors were calling my phone over and over but it too didn’t wake me up. Fortunately for me and him, my cat was sitting right on the bed with me looking at me like, ‘Help?’ I wrapped him in a blanket off the bed and crawled my way out of the acrid smokefilled condo, touching doorknobs and hoping we both wouldn’t die.”

“Ugh, even typing it up makes me nervous. I now sleep with a smoke alarm attached to the headboard of my bed in an effort to wake me if it happens again.”

“No humans were hurt in the blaze, it burned down three families’ condos and several of my neighbor’s pets died. I live alone, so my cat was all I had to save at that point.”

“Sometimes it feels like I got struck by lightning twice. I can’t imagine the mathematical odds of having your place and stuff burn down twice.” ~ Reddit

Now that you’ve heard people’s suggestions, you hopefully feel a bit more prepared.

And if you’re not, it’s time to make a plan of some kind. Most importantly, there are things you can do to avoid fire in your home.

You can use surge protectors. You can unplug items that are not in use. Never leave flames unattended while you are cooking in your kitchen (where many fires start).

Just some things to think about… but fingers crossed that you never have to make the decision to flee your home!

People Share The Best ‘You Have No Power Here’ Moment They’ve Ever Witnessed

There’s something really wonderful, thrilling even, when you subvert the expectations of others and remind them of your own power and authority.

Let’s face it – in the working world (and certainly elsewhere) there are people who will attempt to trod all over you. It is ultimately up to you to advocate and assert yourself.

And sometimes it helps to teach those other people a lesson, too. You know… so they don’t act so foolish again.

We heard people share their stories about power differentials after Redditor sormatador asked the online community:

“What was the best ‘you have no power here’ moment you have ever seen?”

“The first time I had dinner…”

“The first time I had dinner at my parents house after I got my own apartment. My dad was giving me grief as usual. Finally, I stood up and said, ‘I don’t live here anymore. I don’t have to put up with you this way any longer. I’m going home.’”

“And walked out. Most liberating moment of my life.” ~ sunshine2632

“I told my ex…”

“I told my ex I was getting remarried. He told me he was going to stop me and put a lien on my house (which I bought with my money six years after the divorce). My son would come home from visitations telling me how his dad was going to stop the wedding and I’d have to pay him all of this money, la di da.”

“Get to court. His attorney goes blah blah blah for what felt like forever. My lawyer (yes, I had to freaking get one) stands up and simply hands the judge the divorce papers showing the disbursement of funds and how my ex isn’t owed anything.”

“Judge looks at ex’s lawyer and basically asks, ‘Did you even ask for this document before filing?’ and dismisses the case.” ~ NeverCallMeFifi

“So my biological grandmother…”

“Not me, but a story my dad used to tell me all the time.”

“So my biological grandmother was very emotionally abusive. She was very controlling and tried to keep people within her sphere of influence. There’s a reason why my grandfather divorced her.”

“In high school my dad had a job washing airplanes at an airport in our area, which he absolutely loved (he’s a huge fan of aircraft in general). He had classes until roughly 10 a.m. and then he’d be off to work until around 10 p.m. (it was what he loved, he didn’t mind long hours being around aircraft all day).”

“But one day he came home a little too late for his mom’s liking. She said she’d take his keys to his motorcycle and that he’d lost privileges to it. The fact of the matter is that he bought the motorcycle himself and he needed it to get to school as well as work.”

“He laughed in her face and she didn’t do anything. She couldn’t do anything.” ~ ITriedMyBestMan

“My boss calling me…”

“My boss calling me at 7 a.m. on a Saturday to ask if I could lay some flooring for a friend of his at nearly half my normal rate. Yeah, hard pass Andy.” ~ CapuccinoBoy

“This is a bit silly…”

“This is a bit silly, but gave me a great feeling of satisfaction.”

“Due to the bad economy and poor money management, my parents have moved into the spare room of the house my husband and I bought a year ago. Things are mostly smooth, tho I’m not the closest to them for several reasons I won’t go into here.”

“The other evening I was out gardening (because it’s hot during the day and we have the luck of having a streetlight right next to our front yard, keeping it pretty well illuminated even after sundown as I mostly garden at night), and I thought I had gotten the hose twisted, as it kept getting stuck.”

“This went on for a bit until I realized that it wasn’t stuck, but being pulled. I looked into the dim area just past the illumination of the street light and spied my father, crouched over and tugging the hose. Well I did the only reasonable thing to do, and I sprayed him.”

“He yelled and ran inside with me chasing. Once he got inside he made a face and goes, ‘You can’t get me now! I’m inside!!’ in that father-to-daughter-don’t-you-make-a-mess tone of voice.”

“I readied my hose, looked him in the eye and said, ‘It’s my house,’ and just let loose with the hose. He was soaked. Worth cleaning up the mess for that moment of true fear in his eyes.” ~ pumpkinspicepiggy

“A couple of days ago…”

“I grew up with my parents having screaming arguments over every little thing (they do love each other – over 50 years of marriage so far testifies to that) and it always upset me.”

“A couple of days ago, they popped into my house to visit for a coffee on their way to stay with friends a few miles away. Within minutes, they were yelling at each other.”

“I took great pleasure in telling them that I would not stand for such behaviour in MY house and, if they didn’t lower their voices, they could stand outside until they learned some manners. The meek apologies tasted so sweet. As did the coffee.” ~ Mangosta007

“Bye, Felicia.”

“I once had a boss try to discipline me (three months later I may add) for my behaviour as it was noted I was ‘rude to her’ by several of the group’s CEOs in a board meeting.”

“On the disciplinary forms, you both have to write your version of the events and it goes to HR for an adjudication. She did her part and I casually filled in something to the effect of ‘Manager continually pressured me into deleting files from our client management system prior to a regulatory audit which is against the ethical code of our profession and not aligned with my moral standards, I accept I was short with her but she was trying to force me into performing an illegal activity.’”

“I watched her collect up the paper and the colour drained from her face. I never did hear from HR. She got fired not long after when I casually mentioned to the CEO in a bar if she remembered the encounter and explained why I may have appeared a little frustrated and upset. Bye Felicia.” ~Noknox87

“He drives me home…”

“The guy that I’d gone on a few dates with introduced me to his parents, things went well, or so i thought. He drives me home, we end up talking and drinking a few beers, I didn’t want him on the road with any alcohol in his system, and i enjoyed his company, so we end up hanging out until 3 a.m.”

“His mom starts blowing up his phone demanding that he come home, so he drives himself home to find that he’s been locked out of his house. His mom said that he can sleep outside, he shouldn’t be spending time with someone like me (still don’t know what she meant by that), and that i’m ‘just another stop on the pussy train.’”

“He tells her not to talk about me like that, to which she says ‘When you’re under my roof, I’ll say whatever I want about whoever i want!’ so he picks up his phone, calls me, asks if he can stay at my place for a little while.”

“It’s been seven years, we’re engaged, have a dog, a cat, and a happy life. I also plan on throwing some subtle train themes into the wedding/celebration after the end of the plague.” ~ bootylikepoww

“If the concession counter was slammed…”

“I worked in management at a theatre for a while. If the concession counter was slammed and I was able, I’d leave my post and help them sling popcorn.”

“One night while helping out, a particularly belligerent man started cussing out a 16-year-old girl on a cash register for being too slow, even suggesting she quit since she clearly couldn’t handle pushing buttons or scooping popcorn.”

“It was pretty disgusting and I felt so bad for the girl, I stepped in and told the guy that our employees have the right to refuse service to customers who harass them as part of our anti-harassment/discrimination policy, empathized that the lines were longer than usual, and suggested he should apologize and move on.”

“He was PISSED. Left half his order on the counter and started fuming. Anticipating his next move, I went back to my original post that night – as manager of the customer service kiosk.”

“Oh boy, the look on his face when he saw me. (Didn’t want a refund of his tickets though so I assume he watched the movie, without popcorn.) ~ dendriticbranch

“Fast forward twenty years…”

“I wasn’t good at returning library books when I was a kid. I got lectured by my school librarian about it a lot. Fast forward twenty years and I’m a supervisor at the local public library and my former now-retired school librarian goes there.”

“One day I see her sneaking around the front desk instead of coming back to say hi to me and I immediately figure something’s up. I go up to say hi and she acts exasperated and tells me she was trying to avoid me because she had overdue books.”

“So I put on my reading glasses, pulled them down over my nose, and delivered the same lecture she’d given me countless times about being responsible and turning in books on time.” ~ daecrist

There’s something so empowering about these stories.

It makes you feel good to stand up for yourself, doesn’t it?

Good.

You should remember to do it more often.

People Who Work In Remote Places Break Down The Creepiest Things They’ve Ever Experienced

Some jobs require employees to work in unique locations outside of the typical office job.

While unconventional job locations provide an environment that prevents fatigue experienced by others who constantly work under fluorescent lighting, working in remote locations can experience unsettling feelings while on the clock.

Curious to explore examples of this, Redditor shafaatkhan007 asked:

“Redditors who work at remote places like forest officers, oil rig workers, etc, what creepy things have you noticed while at work?”

A Bloody Discovery

“I worked at a public forest. One day we had someone report a dead animal on the side of one of our trails. A few of us from the front desk hiked out to see what it was. It looked like a giant peice of…liver maybe? Just a pile of smooth red meat…no blood around.”

“And it was wrapped up in a t shirt, with some coins scattered around it. We called our rangers to go check it out, and one of them was pretty sure it was a placenta.”

“The weird part is, you have to check in thru a front desk. So someone either snuck a placenta/liver in or gave live birth/removed an organ on our trails. We never got an answer on what the pile of meat was, how it got there, or why.” – WhiteOwlz

The Body

“I do a lot of stream work so I spend time out in pretty rural areas walking streams and rivers. Once my coworker and I were working in a more urban environment and came across what we initially thought was a body – which of course triggered ‘Oh sh*t!!’ from us – but it ended up being a firefighter’s dummy that had fallen down a hill. We felt pretty dumb.”

“Other notable things include a small grave in the middle of nowhere for someone’s dog (pretty sad), and a stuffed rabbit with shotgun shells placed where its eyes should be, a mannequin very purposely placed in a chair in the middle of the woods, and lots of little random alters.”

“I also did work in Myrtle Beach (what a hell hole) and accidentally walked into an inhabited homeless camp. I was peering into a stormwater grate when I looked up and saw a homeless person standing in his shelter staring at us and saying nothing. I felt like I was trespassing so we quietly left.” – RegularTeacher2

Suspicious Sound

“I used to work in a ship and we’re usually gone 3 to 10 months at a time. I worked night shift so this meant I would sleep in the sleeping quarters during day time with either just me or a handfull of other crew members where usually there’d be 20 to 30 of us in there.”

“It wasn’t so bad. Actually I really liked because it’s a lot more peaceful sleelimg during the day. You don’t hear anybody else snoring or someones footsteps because they have to piss or something like that.”

“All you can hear is the light creak of the walls and the floors of the ship and all you can feel is the sway of it on the ocean. A bit haunting and creepy of you really think about it but I like it.”

“All that ended when there was a short period of time was literally only 2 of us in there or at least that’s what I thought. I started hearing light taps across the room. At first they were light taps. Then it would get a bit faster. Sometimes it’ll get a bit louder. I’d ignore it if it wasn’t so utterly annoying.”

“I look at where the other guys is sleeping and he seems to be fast asleep accompanied by his light snoring. 2nd day, there it goes again. I tried to follow the sound but for some reason it bounced around the room like an echo.”

“Eventually it comes to an abrupt halt. So I try to sleep it off. During work at night I tried to ask my mate about it but he said he was too tired to even notice. I guess I’m alone on this pursuit.

“3rd day I take my pursuit one step futher by not sleeping right away. I’d be fully awake when it starts so I’ll have a better chance of discovering the source. There it goes again. This time I go from one empty rack to the next until finally it was loud as f’k, tapping in progress.”

“My heart was thumping like a jackhammer. I pulled the curtain to the side. There laid the biggest dude I’ve ever seen on the ship holding his d*ck mid stroke. You have no idea the speech I prepared for this guy, in my head, for keeping me up for several days but at that exact moment I had no idea what to say.”

“Of course I gave out a small yalp which didn’t help the situation. I never thought I’d be locking eyes with another dude while he’s gripping his dong when I began this honorable pursuit.”

“With the current situation I mustered my best attempt at displaying my annoyance. It somehow came out as an apology followed by ‘I keep hearing tapping noises.’ He hadn’t said anything yet but at that exact moment, I realized that his elbow that which belong to the fapping arm is resting right on the wall probably banging on it over and over and over.”

“I didn’t wait for a reply. I nodded my head, kind of rolled my eye and walked away. It will never be easy trying to avoid a big guy like him everyday in the same sleeping quarters.” – Chevrons21

Isolation Fears

“I work on North sea oil rigs on an ad-hoc basis (off the coast of Scotland).”

“Wouldn’t say anything was particularly paranormal creepy but it can be very unsettling/weird place.”

“Fog can come rolling in out of nowhere and other rigs you can see off the sides can disappear in front of your eyes. Sometimes you can’t see the walkways 6ft in front of you or if you’re walking over grating you can’t see the sea below your feet (about 60m down from feck to sea) but you can hear it, all be it muffled. The fog can roll in over the course of a few minutes too so a perfectly clear day becomes pea soup.”

“You can also feel the rig moving/swaying on high winds /rough seas. Even though it’s a fixed leg Platform. Very unnerving to feel your office swaying when it shouldn’t be.”

“My last trip was my first ever Nightshift and I found it particularly unsettling as you’ve got the background noise of the plant but I walked around the whole rig without seeing another living soul for the whole shift (usually there are about 130 people on board although smaller rigs have smaller headcounts) .”

“Usually once a trip im hit by this awareness that you are just very isolated and in the middle of no where (most rigs I’ve worked on are an hour’s chopper ride from land). So if things go wrong it can escalate very quickly.” – sootsprite13

While many may scoff at the prospect of sharing a crowded space with other coworkers, it could be better than the alternative.

Constantly working in isolation with no one to distract you can be nerve-wracking over time and your imagination can wind up playing some cruel tricks.

People Break Down The One Message They’d Send Telepathically To Everyone On Earth If They Could

The ability to send a telepathic message to everyone on earth may seem mighty tempting, but what would you actually say?

Would you tell people to be kind? Try to bring an end to war? Play a giant prank on the whole of humanity?

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

Redditor HarshJShinde asked:

“If you could telepathically say something that all 7.8 Billion people on earth could hear at once what would it be?”

No Escape

“WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY”

–rondoctor

“I always tell them I don’t have a car. Then they try to sell me life insurance lmao”

“The next time they try to sell me life insurance, I’m gonna ask them if they’re threatening me.”

–jcw10489

“Brah my car is 29 years old and they call me every week from a new number.”

–Redditor

“I literally just got 2 of those calls back to back within 5 minutes. And I can’t even not answer them since I have to take calls from work. It’s a pain in the ass to get any sleep.”

–SugoiBakaMatt

“Or the ‘IRS is going to press charges’ or whatever those calls are. Best part is, 95% of the world will have no idea what the IRS is, or have a very different interpretation.”

–boot2skull

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, MY CAR IS 18 YEARS OLD AND I BOUGHT IT FROM SOME SKETCHY DUDE THAT BARELY SPOKE ENGLISH AND DIDN’T SIGN THE TITLE. IT DOESN’T HAVE A WARRANTY.”

–illpicklater

Countdown To…?

“A countdown, starting at a decently high number… Let’s say 255. It would be in a monotone, androgynous voice, and everyone would hear it in their own language.”

“The countdown would stop at 6.”

–thehonestyfish

Just Testing

“Test message. Please ignore.”

–swanny52

“don’t panic guys. just the simulation developer testing code in production mode. classic mistake.”

–ashesofturquoise

“Honestly though, that would get conspiracy theorists going. ‘I told you the government is trying mind control’”

–StudMuffinNick

The Most Annoying Part Of YouTube

“‘According to my YouTube statistics, only a small percentage of my viewers are actually subscribed. So if you end up liking this video, please subscribe. It’s free, and you can always unsubscribe later. Also, there’s been a YouTube glitch that’s been going around that makes you unsubscribe randomly, so if you could just scroll down and check if you’re subscribed, it would help me out a lot. With that out of the way, let’s get on with the video.’”

-SeffboiProductions

“‘Hey guys welcome back to my channel…’”

–pure_combistion

“‘This video is sponsored by raid shadow legends’”

-Livid-Classroom

Ye Who Smelt It…

“‘Whomever just farted managed to disturb the eternal conscience’”

–_Trygon

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

“‘You picked the correct religion. I am real, and this is the proof you’ve been asking for.’”

“Then I’d watch the world blow up.”

–watch_over_me

“all the atheists are gonna be completely stumped”

-AyeAye_Kane

“The reverse of this would be a lot better. ‘You picked the wrong one.’”

–ThePoultryWhisperer

“Damn, I almost like that better, lol. The whole world would just start freaking and going mad.”

–watch_over_me

“Thanks satan”

–The_gryphon_

Incoherent Screaming

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“That’ll get the message across.”

–The_darter

Whoops

“Anything telepathic transmitted to every living human being on Earth without explanation would immediately be taken as the voice of God by the majority I’m sure.”

“Therefore, the only thing I’d say would be something along the lines of, ‘Whoops… sorry.’”

“EDIT: If, perhaps, this scenario was ongoing and the [mic] was left hot, I would probably maintain silence punctuated with a long series of well-timed Colin Robinson style annoying coughs that just… linger forever in the background of your mind.”

–Redditor

“‘Hey uhhh… I don’t usually do this but I just wanted to tell you all I’m sorry for… well you’ll see.’”

–TheHornyToothbrush

This One’s For The Programmers

“Hello world”

–lj_w

“You forgot the first part. ‘import universe as unv’”

–darklotus_26

Special Containment Procedures

“The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.”

“For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.”

“Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.”

“There will be no further communication.”

–thatguysmellsalot

“Oh, sh*t, I like this one. Not even just a general ‘Hi, we exist’ but an excerpt from one of the SCP stories. I believe it’s called ‘A spectator at the end of the world’ or something similar.”

–FuzzieMonkie

Eternal Ear-worm

“‘Remember the time where Mambo No. 5 wasn’t stuck in your head?’”

–oliverklozov_

“‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No. 5′”

–crisantocaz

“Some people just want to watch the world burn”

–NameRogue

That’s A Negative

“‘Don’t do it.’”

“Could save some lives. Could stop some petty crime. Could prevent a perfectly good wedding from happening. Who knows? Results would be interesting.”

–prophetuscaecus

“Imagine how many people wouldn’t microwave their burritos for dinner.”

–Redditor

More Impossible Ear-worms

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port Aboard this tiny ship.”

“The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day For a three hour tour, a three hour tour…..”

–dorvann

“Alright this, BUT”

“‘This is a story all about how, my life got flip turned upside down….’”

–TheHeresyTrain

It’s All A Simulation

“Act out a conversation between 2 people talking about shutting down the simulation, then freak out about accidentally broadcasting the conversation in the simulation.”

–King_Kezza

“One of my first experiences of sleep paralysis was essentially that only it ended with them deciding to make me think it was a dream.”

–a_stack_of_9_turtles

Get That Bread

“Not going to lie, I’m selling this massive advertising opportunity to the highest bidder.”

–freecain

“RAID: Shadow Legends”

–The__IT__Guy

“With telepathy like this you want to make sure your mind is secure. That’s why I use nord vpn.”

–IBeBallinOutaControl

“And thus, everyone on earth telepathically heard a voice say ‘Not going to lie, I’m selling this massive advertising opportunity to the highest bidder’.”

–ancientweird

“Tonight’s dreamscape brought to you by Nord VPN. Get the new Nord VPN brain bundle to protect yourself from nightmares.”

-Shadowedsphynx

Taking A Page Out Of Donnie’s Book

“’28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.’”

–4GotMyFathersFace

“I’m beginning to seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion!”

–henREE_13

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

“People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.”

–botchman

There’s no point in acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now.”

–Stompya

“What do you mean you’ve never been to Alpha Centauri? For heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”

–Luxray1000

Whatever you would choose to say, everyone can agree this would be a world-altering event.

Choose wisely.