15 Inconveniences That Are Basically Level 1 Bad Guys

Remember when you played video games as a kid (or even more recently, if you’re like me), there was always the Big Bad Guy that you had to beat who was almost impossible to beat.

Before you get to that Big Bad, however, there’s a series of less difficult sub-bosses to get through, who each get progressively harder as you progress towards the last boss. So, the Level 1 boss is basically just a minor inconvenience.

What is the real-life equivalent?

The 13+ people below have some suggestions, and it’s hard to argue!

#1. Everyone knows.

Kid tries to punch me and take my food then cried when his hand aches from hitting the bone in my back. Everyone know that if you wanna hurt a man, you need to kick the crotch.

#2. People.

People who stare at you and make you look away.

#3. A goose at the park.

That goose at the park that I tried to do karate at when I was five

#4. Slow and go.

The guy who does a “slow and go” at a 4 way stop when you were there first.

#5. That won’t stop.

A fly that won’t stop bugging you

#6. That little mini-stumble.

The curb that’s one inch higher than you expected so you do that little mini-stumble thing

#7. Back in middle school.

The Hall Monitor from back in middle school. The parking meter checker for adults.

#8. A thief.

Workplace lunch thief

#9. Not the grapes.

People who steal/eat grapes from the supermarket

#10. That dude.

That dude who keeps asking the introvert why he doesn’t speak

#11. Someone you could easily punt.

Kids from rough neighborhoods that try and rob you. Btw, by kids I mean like <13, so someone you could easily punt across the fucking moon.

#12. Just ants.

Generic ants. Not bullet ants or anything; just ants.

#13. 200+ followers.

A middle schooler making fun of you for not having 200+ followers

#14. The kid who won’t share the swing.

In the first year of elementary school, just after the tutorial, there’s a kid who won’t share the swing and keeps it all recess.

#15. Seeing you in doubles.

The alcoholic threatening to beat you up while not being able to stay on their feet and always swinging to the left/right of you because he’s seeing you in doubles.

If only every defeat was so easy!

The post 15 Inconveniences That Are Basically Level 1 Bad Guys appeared first on UberFacts.

20 Wedding Pros Share the Huge Red Flags That End Marriages

The question was simple: Marriage professionals, what are the red flags that prove a marriage won’t last?

Thousands of professionals chimed in, but these 20 are the best.

Enjoy the craziness that happens on people’s wedding day, most of which lead to divorce.

1. “…that’s a strong sign of an unbalanced relationship.”

Wedding videographer here. I don’t usually follow the marriage all that closely after the video is delivered, but usually you have a feeling as a neutral 3rd party about whether it’s going to last or not.

While I agree with most of the stuff mentioned here, I’ve found that the microcosm of how the couple feels about each other comes usually comes out during the cake cutting. If they’re drinking then they’ve usually had a few by that point and it’s a moment when everyone is watching you do something potentially awkward with your new SO. When I see a new bride or groom aggressively smush cake into the other’s face I usually feel like that’s a strong sign of an unbalanced relationship. Sometimes they’re both having fun with it and you can tell it’s cool, but most of the time you can tell that the person with cake on their face is either shocked or angry about it.

Again, I don’t have hard data to track results…but that’s the thing that usually informs my opinion about how it’s going to work out.

2. “I tried to play “I want to hear bride’s ideas” card…”

Ex wedding photographer here. There were only a couple situations where I had doubts about the couple’s future and one where I was certain.

I met the couple in a cafe to discuss their ideas and my services. The girl was very happy, she was very emotional and interested. The guy, however, was rolling his eyes and grunting at everything and I stop trying to get him involved in the conversation after he ignored me twice. It made the girl very uncomfortable and she was apologetic of his behavior. I don’t know what happened to them, as they apparently chose to reschedule their wedding and didn’t hire me in the end.

I declined shooting a wedding when the person who was going to hire me was the groom’s mom. When I asked her to arrange a meeting with the couple, she said that they didn’t want a wedding (meaning they wanted to elope), and it was her initiative to celebrate it. I tried to play “I want to hear bride’s ideas” card, but she told me the bride has no ideas, she obeys the groom, and the groom obeys mom. So I’ll only talk to the mom. So I declined, I hope the girl is fine – no one deserves a controlling MIL.

Finally, I was a guest and a photographer at my friend’s wedding. The bridesmaid was wearing a short white dress and she was chirping about her side hustle modeling for photos and catalogues, how “her boyfriend saw her in so many wedding dresses he won’t be surprised when she wears one to the wedding” and how “she caught 8 bouquets already, this will be her ninth”.

She talked a lot about wedding planning and stuff, but apparently there hadn’t even been a formal proposal and her boyfriend, who was a guest as well, looked very annoyed and clearly wished he were somewhere else.

Anyway, the bridesmaid started bugging me for photos of her and her boyfriend a week after the wedding, I told her several times that when I start editing the photos, I will do hers first, and by the time I sent her the photos, they were already broken up.

She started dating someone else a month later and got married the next year.

3. “the 8-month pregnant venue coordinator start carrying chairs…”

I used to work in day-of wedding coordination, and I remember 2 couples that I couldn’t wait to hear about the divorce.

When you pay a wedding coordinator, you only pay for the things the coordinator orders/plans (flowers, catering, DJ) + coordinator fees. Anything else couples buy (dresses, gifts, suits, etc) are added. We estimated this to be a $500,000 wedding, easy. Dad paying for all of it.

The bride was a total sweetheart when I met her. The groom seemed quiet, but was very easy going. Always nice to have a sober groom, and he didn’t drink a drop during the day. Then the photographer/videographer left to take some venue shots.

The bride began berating everyone, myself included, on how her perfect day had to be capped out because no one wanted to give her more. My clothes were trashy, the DJ’s computer was a PC, the bar staff we’re wearing red vests and she hates vests. Photographer came back and she was an angel again.

The second was a wedding of a general and pediatric surgeon in the local hospital. Paid for their own beautiful and in-their-means wedding. The bride was seriously amazing. But, there was a mixup day if the wedding. The 200 chairs that we’re supposed to be moved to the 3rd story of the historic building weren’t taken upstairs.

So my boss, the other assistant, and the 8 month pregnant venue coordinator start carrying chairs upstairs. 3 flights.

It wasn’t great.

After the wedding, we had to do it again, but down. The father of the groom started helping us. We begged him to enjoy his son’s day, but he responded that if it were his daughter doing this, he’d be furious. Groom comes by and tells his dad to stop helping the pregnant woman stack chairs.

He looks at the monster that is his son and asked how he’d feel if it was his wife or sister who had to do this. Groom told his dad that maybe if we had applied ourselves a little more, we wouldn’t have been taking out the trash at a successful couples wedding.

Clearly he didn’t know how much his wife was paying us.

4.

I was a wedding photographer for many years in the 00’s.

It was pretty easy to tell which couples were going to last and which ones would soon be divorced.

The main behavior differentiating the two was whether they were on the same team, helping each other and lifting each other up in the face of the inevitable problems and stress that come with weddings. Good couples tackle problems together. Bad couples take sides and fight/blame each other when something goes wrong.

5.

Wedding Planner here: Red Flags – nerves are normal but when one of the pair start doubting whether they should go through with it waaay before the day, you know something isn’t quite right. Green Flags – they make decisions together and have each other’s backs especially when family can be pressuring.

6. “loved poker, craft beer, cigars, hanging with his rowdy friends, video games…”

Wedding videographer here: I try to get to know both people beforehand, so I can work in their hobbies/unique traits into my product. A big red flag is when one person is clearly trying to change the other.

I had one dude who loved poker, craft beer, cigars, hanging with his rowdy friends, video games, etc. I planned a cool shoot where I had all his friends in an old west saloon, and he sees his bride to be, etc… but she steps in and declares “oh, he won’t be doing any of those things any more.”

Poor bastard just sat there in silence as I awkwardly had to plan them shopping for a Yorkie puppy instead. Half way through post production after the wedding, he called and said he was getting an annulment. I wanted to say “could have told ya so!” But I try to stay neutral.

Green flags are just the opposite. Embracing the other person’s habbits/hobbies/interests, basically not being a controlling freakshow.

7. “They got divorced about a year later.”

Ex wedding photographer.

Typically I saw red flags when the bride or groom is super quiet. I mean silent and just watching.

One instance was a groom who barely said ten words to anyone during the ceremony or reception afterwards. The bride and her mother were extremely loud and excited the entire time. The bride needed everything to be “perfect”. I dropped off the photo bundle with them two weeks later and he was still quiet. She however complained about all of the pictures because the groom wasn’t “smiling enough”. She wanted a discount because I couldn’t make him look happy enough.

They got divorced about a year later. I know because I did his engagement photos with his new fiancée about four years after his first wedding. His engagement photos showed him much happier.

Edit: I stopped doing weddings but I do some portraits and mostly commercial and product work.

He called me for a wedding quote but I had stopped doing them at that point. I do still do portraits so I offered to do engagement photos for him that he was happy with.

8. “We did not get a 5-star review.”

Wedding band guitar player here.

Drunken gorilla-sized groom physically attacked us when we cut off the music after already going over our contracted time an hour. Mother of the groom got into the mix and pulled him back. Bride was in tears. Best man pulled out a Bluetooth speaker and kept the party going. We did not get a 5 star review.

So that was a red flag.

They lasted a few months.

9. “She was in a mickey mouse t-shirt at that time…”

I am/was a wedding photographer: I think you can kind of tell if they are going to stay together forever based on how they handle all the little (and sometimes even big) problems a wedding day can bring.

There was one couple’s story I love to tell. They are not your typical bride and groom, they had their wedding in a forest where you could also go climbing (sorry don’t know what they are called) with a big wooden house and fireplace in front. All vegan food and a lot of friends with lots of dogs. Everything was perfect, except the special dress the bride had have made and painted didn’t arrive in time for the ceremony and she was devastated.

She was in her sweatpants and a mickey mouse tshirt at that time and her soon-to-be-husband took off his suit, put on a big white shirt, stood there in his boxer shorts and just said “well, we have to go” (cause the ceremony-person had to leave an hour later) and she just laughed and went with it. I was in shock but other than it being strange to have hairy man-legs in my wedding photos, taking the pictures was really fun and they were totally relaxed. I’m pretty sure they will be doing well.

10. “He was absolutely heartbroken.”

And I have to tell this one too…I didn’t need a sixth sense when I heard that on their honeymoon, the bride cheated on the groom, so the grooms parents didn’t want the photos OR the video I had shot. Instead they wanted me to sue her for the remainder of the money they owed me. I told them I was sorry but they signed the contract so they had to pay.

The bride was a total bitch to him all day at the wedding. It was no surprise she did this. He was absolutely heartbroken.

And yes, they sent me a check for the remainder, and I still have all the photos, developed and collecting dust in a pile still in the lab bag I brought them home in. This was in 2003, and I can’t bring myself to throw them away.

The best part? The groom called me two years later to do his wedding photos and video because he was getting married again. I was all set to do it, and then the new fiancé pulled the plug. Turns out she didn’t want any memories of the first wedding being involved. So I was fired as soon as I was hired.

11. “Everyone is drinking. Knocking back shots.”

I am a videographer. Most weddings we video are fairly smooth. Couple is happy. Family cries tears of joy. Lots of laughter. That bit. We did film one wedding that seemed fine right up until the aisle walk.

We video the bride and groom prep. They have two suites—one for the ladies and one for the gentlemen. My partner and I were having an easy time running back and forth. Everyone is drinking. Not light beer either. I mean knocking back shots. Empty bottles everywhere. Offering us rounds too as they go by. Everyone is pretty carefree, upbeat, and ready to party, the bride and groom most of all. This is going to be the easiest wedding we film. Or so we thought.

Now everyone is seated in the ceremony hall. Groom and all his men are up front with the officiant. Bride’s Maids start walking down the aisle. All beautiful. The bride walks in with her father. At this point I’m filming the groom and his reaction. We get a wide shot because we can always zoom in during post. My partner is recording the groom and her father. I see the best man in my viewfinder pull out a flask from his jacket pocket—the rest of the men do the same except Groom.

So this is clearly planned.

The best man speaks loud enough over the music so people turn to him away from the Bride. He raises his glass high and shouts “Here’s to Bride Name, here’s to Groom Name; may you never disagree. But if you do…” He points at the bride with his flask hand and finishes “FUCK YOU, here’s to Groom Name.”

They all drink to their frat boy toast. The best man hands the Groom his flask and he drinks it laughing!!

I have never watched a video more than I have the reaction of the Bride and her father. Jaw dropped speechless. The ceremony went on. And it’s not done. The officiant asks the Bride “do you take Groom yadda yadda…” and she surprisingly, yet weakly, says yes. The officiant asks the same of the Groom and instead of just saying yes, he screams “Fuck da fuck yeah I do!!” Bride just face palms herself in embarrassment.

The look of disgust on her whole family’s face the entire night after that was priceless and highly awkward to film. I could go on with more stories about this wedding, but this just about the bride and groom. Needless to say I think that’s a big red flag.

TL;DR Best man raises his flask as Bride is walking down the aisle and says “here’s to Bride, here’s to Groom, may you never disagree, but if you do, fuck you *pointing at bride* heres to Groom.” All groom’s men drink from flasks including the Groom.

12. “…smashed the cake…”

Photographer here.

I swear that all of the couples that have split up have smashed the cake in their SOs face. None of the nice cake couples have. Just my weird anecdotal experience.

Maybe it’s a sign of respect for each other.

13. “what he wrote was not exactly Shakespeare…”

Former wedding videographer. When doing the letter read the bride at the end said which I quote “well that was fucking stupid”.

I cut that part out in the final video.

Let me clarify what im referring to. The couple reads their letter from their partner prior to the wedding. She just got done reading the grooms letter and was talking about what he wrote.

To be fair, what he wrote was not exactly Shakespeare but still a harsh response.

14. “Our team can hear them yelling at each other half a mile away…”

Wedding videographer here.

Had a couple fly us out to Iceland for their engagement shoot. Now the first couple of days were fine and everything looked okay, but in Iceland, some lodging options aren’t very luxurious. The groom chose to book what was essentially a tiny bunk house (the ones meant for those summer camps) and the bride lost it and complained the whole night.

Next morning things are pretty tense and our team continues the shoot as planned even though it is incredibly awkward. Most of our plans fall through because they start arguing.

In front of a beautiful, solitary glacier.

For two hours.

Our team can hear them yelling at each other half a mile away because there is literally no one else around for miles.

We finish up whatever we could of the last day of the shoot and awkwardly said our goodbyes.

Later on I learn that they broke up a month before the wedding.

15. “…look past his soon to be wife and wink at me…”

Red flag: The groom winking at both my assistant and I during the ceremony.

He was not winking in the sense that he might have been tearing up or had something in his eye but there was a part in the ceremony where the couple sat down and he would lean his head back in his chair look past his soon to be wife and wink at me or look over his left shoulder and wink at my assistant.

It was bizarre.

16. “…biggest sign is the cake cutting.”

Photographer here: to me the biggest sign is the cake cutting. Some people like to smear the cake everywhere as a joke, some people don’t. Usually the couple is in sync about this. They know what the other would like and they don’t smush cake on the others face if they wouldn’t want that.

Sometimes one of them (usually the groom) will force cake all over the others face and embarrass and upset them. I’ve seen this happen a handful of times and all of those relationships that I have kept up with have ended in a divorce.

17. “I think that’s a good indicator…”

Photographer here.

You can tell somewhat based on how the couple treats each other on the wedding day.

If they are respectful toward one another (and toward me) during a day full of stress then I think that’s a good indicator of being able to deal with other problems that may arise during a marriage.

18. “Dad did it anyway, mom smacked him across the face…”

Not a wedding photographer, but my parent’s wedding video is a tell-all story.

At the cake cutting, my mom had specifically asked my dad not to put cake on her face (which is usually a tradition).

Dad did it anyway, mom smacked him across the face, dad said “fuck this” and stormed out of the reception.

They had a twenty year rocky marriage of lies and infidelity, and are finally officially divorced.

They are much better off now. The cake cutting really seems to be a good rule of thumb for a relationship.

19. “Then we had to photoshop a smile onto the groom…”

My husband and I are wedding photographers. We’ve been pretty lucky so far and haven’t had too many crazies. We have stayed friends with a few of the couples and see them regularly.

The one couple we hope we never see again fought the entire wedding day. The couple barely looked at each other, it was so bad. Then we had to photoshop a smile onto the groom a couple of times so he at least looked happy in the ceremony of all things. To describe what he looked like, I would compare him to a Polish meat butcher with transitions lensed glasses. Totally brutal. I have no idea if they are together still but I would say not.

20. “She wanted a cake like a castle…”

Cake artist here. I had a couple come in for a tasting. Appointment was for 7 PM, but he was late. First half hour was just her. She told me they met at a stable where they both kept their horses. Those horses were going to be featured at the wedding as the bride and groom would ride them to the site (a beautiful farm venue.)

She described in detail her self-designed medieval gown, flower wreath in her hair, embroidered shoes like some from a museum: sounded lovely. She wanted a cake like a castle, which was a specialty of mine. The whole wedding would be over the top, but not in a cringey way.

Then he arrives. Barely says Hi to her, sits down and starts telling me about his wedding. He’ll ride in dressed as a riverboat gambler with a frock coat, brocade vest, string tie, big hat, gold pocket watch, and STERLING SILVER SPURS! He’s fine with the castle cake, but wants to incorporate the watch and a pair of mother of pearl handled pistols (picture given).

I had already decided that I was not going to work with them. NO way could I come up with a cake that would work for them. But they were there so I brought out the samples. For the next hour they carried on two entirely separate monologues. They didn’t address each other (or me) and they didn’t listen to each other (or me).

I made no attempt to book them that night, and when they called later in the week I told them their date had been taken. They were living in 2 incompatible and entirely self contained fantasies. I doubt they even made it to the wedding day.

Honestly, it’s good most of these people figured out quickly that they weren’t right for each other.

Do you really want to spend your life with somebody you don’t like?

No. No you don’t.

The post 20 Wedding Pros Share the Huge Red Flags That End Marriages appeared first on UberFacts.

14 Employees Who Should Have Definitely Gotten Fired But Miraculously Didn’t

Somebody on Reddit asked this question: “What is the biggest “oh fuck, I’m dead” thing you’ve done at work, but nobody ever found out?”

Thousands answered, and we combed through the best to share them with you.

1. “I was essentially trapped at work…”

Had a truck turn up 15 minutes before the end of the day and in my rush/pure fucking anger to just get him unloaded ASAP so I could go home I drove through the roller shutter doors as they were still opening and “caught” them with the top of the mast.

I got the guy unloaded and on his way and tried to lock up hoping to explain it all away the following day.

The door was that bent it wouldn’t lock, as it wouldn’t lock I couldn’t set the alarms, I was essentially trapped at work and now an hour late from leaving.

In a moment of pure desperation I lifted the doors again and drove into them from the other side bending them enough to lock them up, set the alarms and get home.

I’d hit them a little too hard so they were now bent inwards and the bosses assumed someone had reversed into them during the night – the estate we were on was a notorious cruising spot for the local boy racers and there was always tyre marks or bits of car scattered round the place so they got the blame

2. “…the only way to activate a multi-million dollar security technology system.”

Lost a key dongle that was worth $32k.

This was 15ish years ago in a different state and career. The dongle looked basically like a USB thumb drive was was the only way to activate a multi-million dollar security technology system for a hospital in a big city.

The thing is, I was 100% sure I never had it and that it was missing from the packaging from the manufacture. Everyone I worked with also was not sure they ever saw it too. I was distraught and sick to my stomach at the possibility I screwed up somehow on something so stupid and cost costly but ended up being convinced we never received it.

The owner of the company I worked for and our lawyers had to get involved with the vendor to make an agreement with them to send us a replacement for a relatively small fee. I’m not positive after all these years on this cost but think it was around $5k.

No one was happy but we needed it and it was done.

Fast forward to years later. I’m living in a different state, now married and working for a different company in a different field and I decide I want to use the backpack I used to use at the old job where the dongle was lost. I still had some stuff in it so I clean it out, turn it upside down and shake it and hear something rattling around.

In the bottom of the big compartment of the bag, it looks like a solid piece. I dig my fingers around it and was surprised to find it was a flap. I open the flap and HOLY SHIT its the mother f’ing missing $32k dongle!

I was shocked and for a second, felt so damn guilty. But then I just laughed as it was already taken care of and years in the past. Still feel like a shithead thinking about it all these years later just a little bit.

3. “I left Gwar, Meat Sandwich, as our only muzak…”

Gwar.

Our muzak hold crap system was out of whack, so since I’m IT, I was tasked to fix it. Stupid proprietary audio files, stupid codecs, stupid hold music.

To pass the time, I ripped a gwar cd that I recieved as a gag gift a million years ago to the proprietary format and amused myself by throwing “Meat Sandwich” on loop for testing.

Finally got everything working, called it a night and went home for the rest of the weekend.

Monday morning, around 11am, I get a call. “Hi, Coyote? I think our muzak system is still broken. People are complaining about the songs and the sound?”

What? WHAT? Call my work into question? I tested it MYSELF. I personally made sure the audio format was working with my OWN MUSIC and…

…and…

….and fuck.

I left Gwar, Meat Sandwich, as our only muzak for hold for our entire company.

I ran to the Datacenter, put everything back to default and the told them that it was “crossing channels” or some bullshit and everything was fine.

But we open at 6am. So for 5 glorious hours, Meat Sandwich was the music playing after the soft voiced woman told you to “Please Hold”.

4. “It was made out of diamonds or gold or something else fucked up.”

It was university.

They had this really expensive piece of equipment and I can’t remember exactly what it measured, or how it worked.

What I remember is this: you completed a “circuit” to power the thing, meaning you plugged a wire into 5volts or whatever came out of the wall, and another wire into the ground, and plugged both of them into the device (alligator clips baby).

What you got out of the wall was wayyyyyyyy too much current, so you had to put a resister between the wire from the wall and the device

The thing cost something ridiculous like 25k at the time. It was made out of diamonds or gold or something else fucked up.

Anyways, I got really pissed at my lab partner, just took over the experiment. And plugged the thing directly into the wall without a resister…

I basically fried the thing in a second.

I smelt burning and could see smoke come out of it immediately and knew exactly what I’d done.

As I literally thought “Oh fuck, I’m dead” and started realizing the gravity of my actions, this dude in a huge ass trench coat thing walks by my lab table, gets his coat caught in it and pulls the thing off the table. It lands on the ground and smashes into a million pieces.

Dude was walking with the guy who ran the labs, and that dude loses it on him.

I just sat in silence. I felt guilty but like I dodged the biggest bullet of my life.

I didn’t know definitively that I’d broke it, but I knew definitively that that dude had.

And I was too much of a coward to say anything.

5. “…my hot acid puke punched right through the bag and into my lap.”

It was the night before I was scheduled to have a tense meeting with my boss and a client. The meeting was supposed to be a sort of “peace talk” because of tension growing between my staff and the client who was an emotional and difficult person to work with. The night before my wife and I opened a bottle of wine with dinner and managed to finish it off before bed. This didn’t seem like too much at the time but the next morning I woke up sicker than I have ever been.

I still had this difficult meeting so I got up got dressed managed to choke down some Advil and a glass of water. The minute I get on the highway to work I feel my stomach twisting. There is nothing between where I am now and where my office is except highway with almost no shoulder.

Half way to work I feel that feeling in my throat, like a tightening, and my bowels are starting to make terrible noises. I realize I am going to throw up and look around my car for anything to throw up in. I spot McDonalds bag is on the floor so I grab it.

Hoping I don’t need to use it I speed up trying to get to my exit so I can pull over and ralph.

No dice.

I held the bag up to my mouth going 85 MPH and throw up red wine into the McDonalds bag which had the strength of tissue paper because my hot acid puke punched right through the bag and into my lap.

By some miracle I had extra business slacks in my car. I stopped at a gas station and changed in the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and a haggard sallow man with flop sweat and sunken eyes stared back at me. Even with the wardrobe change I smelled faintly of booze and vomit. I went to the meeting and my boss noticed something was up. He rescheduled with the client telling me “I don’t think you’re up to it this morning”.

I for sure thought he was going to fire me for being a huge drunk but nothing happened.

I don’t drink wine anymore.

6. “Went home. Ate pizza. Couple hours go by.”

I was to supposed to meet a client outside of work to discuss a business opportunity.

Got permission to leave work early to go to an arranged meeting with the customer. I went on auto-pilot as soon as I started driving from work. Forgot about the meeting. Picked up a pizza. Went home. Ate pizza. Couple hours go by.

OH SHIT!

I didn’t have a phone number for the customer, so I never called or anything, just no-call no-showed on the customer.

Customer never said anything. Manager never asked about it.

7. “My life flashes before my eyes.”

Okay so I’m running a summer camp and half way through the day I’m comparing our bus attendance to the group attendance and I notice there is a little girl who was marked as being on the bus but not in her group. I go and check the group, no sign of her.

Other groups, nope.

No one has seen this six year old girl and we are out in bumble fuck nowhere and I am losing my shit. I have lost a child. We’re gonna get so fired and gonna need to call the cops and they’re gonna have to search the woods.

My life flashes before my eyes.

After fifteen minutes of oh my god my life is over my coworker pulls up with the news that she spoke to the girls mom and she did not come to camp that day at all, the bus attendance was an error. I was five minutes from calling my boss and instead I collapsed in the dirt with relief and tried not to cry.

Holy fuck.

8. “….we only have one kid.”

Summer martial arts camp, probably 10+ years ago. Several times a day, the entire camp would be called to line up on the gymnasium floor. Roughly 50-75 kids, probably in rows of 8, spaces with about 5 feet between each kid, all nice and orderly.

For the most part, everybody knew exactly where and which spot to line up on. It was pretty meticulous laid out, and we would spend 20 or 30 minutes on the very first day, making sure each and every person knew specifically which spot to line up on.

One day, lineup is called for lunch or something. Whistle blows, mob of kids come crashing from all around. Kids take their spots, settle in, counselors are talking, telling them what’s for lunch, somebody is probably walking through the rows of kids with a giant bottle of hand sanitizer spritzing each pair of outstretched hands. Suddenly somebody noticed an empty spot. They turned to the next kid over who was quite young (probably 7 ish) and asked who stands there. “Oh, that’s my brother”. “Well where is he??” “I dunno..”.

So they proceed to tear the whole place apart.

Swimming pool???!? Check. Bathrooms? Check. Girls bunk? Check. Kitchen? Check. Showers? Check.

You name it, they searched there, twice. Finally they have to call the parents and tell them that they LOST one of their kids.

How do the parents respond?

“….we only have one kid.”

Oh yeah, kid forgot to mention that his brother was IMAGINARY.

9. “…20 minutes later walking in the back to ankle deep water.”

I used to work for a big box pet store taking care of the animals that lived in the store. There was a rotation of the animals getting their accessories changed out and cleaned (i.e. water bottles, food bowls, plastic huts) every day. So each day the morning person cleaned that day’s habitats and the closer did the “dishes” in the sink and set them to dry and be put back in rotation for use.

It was sometimes difficult to complete any of these tasks while also dealing with customers. The sink we did dishes in was very deep and company policy stated that the dishes had to soak in a cleaning solution for a certain amount of time so it took a long time to fill up the sink with the solution to soak everything.

It was common to turn the water on to fill up the sink and go see if anyone needed help in the store while you waited.

Not long after I started working there I was performing this task and got pulled into a long conversation with a customer. Normally I’d duck in the back and turn off the faucet if I thought the conversation would take a while, but this night I just completely forgot the sink was on. Cue like 20 minutes later walking in the back to ankle deep water. The sink had overflowed and was filling the back space. The door had a rubber stopper at the bottom keeping it from going into the store

I took a squeegee thing and started herding the water into a drain on the floor on the back side of the fish wall but it took a long time. I was so frantic and still had to pay attention to customers out on the floor. Luckily no one else ever went into the back unless you worked in that department and I was working alone. So I managed to herd most of the water into the fish drain and the rest dried over night before the opener came in. No one ever knew I flooded the back space.

Few months later I realized flooding was a common occurrence and my manager flooded it at least once a year.

10. “We call it the doom button…”

I auto-archived 2500 records from our database with one button push. This removed them from active status and cancelled any associated reservations and services.

I had to click into each record and reinstate it. Took me 6 hours.

I admitted my folly at the next team meeting to ensure no one else had to go through the sheer butt puckering terror I did when those records disappeared. We call it the doom button now. Why there is a doom button I have no idea.

11. “…forklift tine and punched it all the way through her tailgate!!!”

When I was 18 I worked for Menards (like Home Depot). It was a small store with an outside yard that you couldn’t drive into so we would pick what you wanted with a forklift and load the customers out in the parking lot.

So this lady came in to pick up a bunch of special order bricks. I loaded two pallets of bricks into the back of her very nice new truck, she signed the paperwork and the transaction was done…. Until I sat in the forklift filling out my part of the paperwork and she backed into a forklift tine and punched it all the way through her tailgate!!!

I was 100% in the wrong as anyone who has ever driven a forklift knows that unless you are actively using the lift, you keep the tines on the ground if you’re parked, and a couple inches above while driving.

I had seen a guy get fired once for driving over a piece of cardboard instead of stopping to pick it up, so I was beyond screwed… but she just put it in drive and took off. She didn’t even look back at me. I expected that she was going to pull up to the front of the store to report it, but she just left. As far as I know she never reported it, and no one ever knew it happened.

That was 21 years ago and I think about that incident pretty often.

12. “…the captain made a wrong turn onto a narrow taxiway…”

When I was a brand new airline pilot we landed at an airport that required a long taxi back to the terminal. During the taxi the captain made a wrong turn onto a narrow taxiway that led to a small private hangar. As soon as he made the turn we knew it was the wrong taxiway, but it was very narrow with trees on both sides so there was no way to turn around. I had no idea how we were going to deal with this.

He thought for a minute, then said, “McGonogle, can you see the tower from here?”

I looked. “Nope.”

“Good. Then they can’t see us.”

With that, he reversed both engines and slowly backed onto the main taxiway. I guess the passengers thought it was normal because no one asked any questions and we never heard anything about it.

13. “…paperclip flew right over the small wall and hit a customer right in the head…”

when I was about 17 I used to internship at a bank through a school program. It was a small business bank so there wasn’t any glass like you see at big banks. The set up was 4 desks lined up next to each other with small walls separating them almost cubicle style but shorter. My desk was all the way at the end next to the wall.

Anyways, so I’m sitting at my desk bored one day with nothing to do so I grab a paperclip and start flicking it paper football style at the wall separating my desk and the one next to it. Ever ytime it bounced back I would flick it again.

Well one time I flicked it a little too hard and the paperclip flew right over the small wall and hit a customer right in the head that was waiting to be attended.

My heart sank and so did my head down to the desk as I tried to go unnoticed in hopes that they wouldnt know who did it. Looking back it was probably obvious that the 16 y/o boy was the one flicking paperclips and not the 40+ old ladies next to him.

Luckily I don’t think the customer knew what hit her and I was never blamed for it.

14. “I never had to fess up to my boss…

Working at a high end tour company, I backed a bus hitch into a guest’s BMW. Broke one of their tail lamps.

I picked up all the plastic remnants from the ground and taped a note to their window to find me when they returned from their tour to discuss the damage and go speak to the owner with me about insurance, etc.

I’d been breaking down my trip to make way for the next bus arriving, so I hadn’t had a chance to go tell my boss before they returned. The guest came and found me, laughing. Said someone had hit it a few weeks prior and it was already being processed through the insurance of the other person who had hit him, and not to worry about it.

He hadn’t realized that I’d done additional damage because it was the same tail light, nothing else was damaged and I’d picked up all the broken pieces from the ground, so it didn’t look that bad compared to what damage had already existed.

I never had to fess up to my boss about the incident and learned to never attempt to park the bus near the fancy cars again.

Wow!

The post 14 Employees Who Should Have Definitely Gotten Fired But Miraculously Didn’t appeared first on UberFacts.

Teachers Share the Moment They Knew They Had to Quit

Being a teacher is a hard job, and often a thankless one.

And sometimes the stress and headaches just get to be too much. Teachers of AskReddit shared the stories about how they finally decided they had to quit.

1. Didn’t last long

“I taught middle school science in a small rural district in southern Illinois. The superintendent made a position for his wife in our cash-strapped system. Due to scheduling, it moved me out of a job that I loved, into teaching second grade. I lasted 8 days.

When the superintendent called me to tell me that I was moving, he told me not to get the union involved or fight it. I did give him a piece of my mind while on the phone, and I heard rumors that the move was coming so I made plans to leave.

If people ask me why I left, I just tell them that education has gone from making people learners to too focused on test scores. Students lack critical thinking skills.

I quit for about 1.5 years and went to work at a car manufacturing company. I left there, just wasn’t my thing. And now I’m teaching middle school science in a different district.”

2. Career change

“Good timing. I’ve been teaching high school for about four years. I’ve found the work incredibly gratifying in some ways, but I’ve never been all that happy. I start a new job after Christmas break. My kids don’t know that I won’t be teaching them next semester. :/

Stuff I like:

I really, truly love helping kids learn. I love seeing them discover or rediscover a love for reading and writing.

I’m proud that my students feel safe and cared about when they’re in my room. Some of my best teaching moments have nothing to do with my subject area, but instead come from being that “trusted adult” that’s there for students who are going through tough times and need someone to care about them. I have a drawer full of notes and letters students have written me – I cry every time I look through them.

I’ve worked on two campuses and student taught at a third, and for the most part, I’ve enjoyed the people I’ve worked with.

Obviously, the time off is sweet. Having summers and breaks is super nice.

I don’t think there was a single “straw that broke the camel’s back,” but here are some things that led to be wanting to switch professions:

Not enough planning time. Like, not even close to enough. You get one class period a day, which is often eaten up with all sorts of meetings (504/SST/ARD/etc). I get to work early every day, stay after really late, and I still end up having to grade/lesson plan on the weekend.

Horrible work/life balance. I give a lot to my kids – but someone is always there asking for more. Volunteer on weekends for this or that, sponsor this club, come to sports events, etc. After about a year of teaching I realized that I had stopped having any real life outside of school.

State testing. I’m lucky to work in a district that doesn’t harp on it like others do, but when the test is getting close, it’s all anyone can talk about. It’s not an accurate way to measure student growth and it has a tendency to suck out any natural curiosity kids have about learning. Want to ruin how a person feels about reading and writing for the rest of their lives? Shove standardized test prep down their throats for two months.

Being a performer every day is exhausting. I’m basically not allowed to have a bad day, because the kids need me every day. Also, dealing with subs is THE WORST. I usually go to work even when I feel awful (as long as I’m not contagious), because coming up with sub plans and dealing with the fallout of the kids who don’t know how to behave with someone else in the room is not worth it.

There’s not a lot of room to grow in your career. I knew I didn’t want to be an administrator, so I very quickly felt like I was stuck. I saw old timer teachers around that just seemed beaten down and depressed after 30+ years of teaching, and I didn’t want to end up like that.

The paperwork. I spend so so so so much time dealing with SPED accommodations/504 forms/etc., it’s just unreal.

What it really boils down to, is that it’s impossible for me to be good at my job in every way I’d like to be. I can either 1) plan good lessons that engage the kids, 2) give useful feedback on student work, 3) be a paperwork superstar, or 4) be a teacher that’s involved with extracurricular activities. But I can’t do all of them at the same time, or even most of them. I know I’m a good teacher. My evaluators at each campus I’ve been on have uniformly loved me. I know I’ve been a good influence on many of my students. But I always, always, always, feel like I’m not doing my job good enough. I’m always behind. I have to pick what I think is most important, and just deal with the fallout of not doing the other stuff that well. It’s draining and depressing.

Oh, and cellphones. I know it’s not just a problem for kids, but we’re in the midst of a serious technology addiction problem. Many students are straight up incapable of carrying on a conversation, even with their friends, without staring at their phones every few seconds. Focusing on anything that requires brainpower is legitimately out of the question for some of them. It makes teaching frustrating when you feel like you’re giving it your all, and you look around and realize that some (it’s always just some, but sometimes it feels like most/all) of them would prefer shitposting memes and snapchatting with their friends.

Again, I love my kids, and there’s a lot that I love about teaching, but I have had plenty of moments where I look around the room and think to myself, “fine, fuck this. If you don’t care about your own learning, why should I? Have fun reading and writing like first graders for the rest of your adult lives.” For example, I have one student who has had a seriously horrible life. It breaks my heart, and I’ve spent a lot of my time this year working with him directly, trying to build him up. He’s a “trouble maker” and mouths off and has gotten in plenty of fights. The in-district alternative school won’t take him because of his violent history. This kid desperately needs help and some kind of life path.

He expressed interest in a specific trade, so the administration jumped through hoops to get him into a program that would, for free, enable him to learn that trade and graduate with some kind of certificate or licence. He got kicked out of the program after less than a month because he ignored class and played on his phone all day, so he never even learned the required safety guidelines that he needed to know to operate the equipment he was supposedly interested in learning about. Teens, especially teen boys, have undoubtedly ALWAYS had problems with executive functioning, but cell phones take that natural weakness and turn it into a gaping, infected, life threatening wound.

I knew going into the job that most teachers quit less than five years in. I thought I could handle it. I wasn’t in it for money or glory or recognition. But even in a good district and school, the deck is so stacked against you. I’m not looking forward to telling my kids that I won’t be their teacher next semester. Some of them will be mad, and some will probably cry. I will likely get embarrassingly emotional when I tell them myself. But teaching feels like being in an abusive relationship, and I’m ready to walk away from it.”

3. Walked out

“Crappy, selfish, ignorant staff. They were always bad, but tolerable. My last group refused to do much of anything and bullied me mercilessly. The last straw was when one refused to move to a different classroom and verbally attacked me over it. As if it were my fault. The move was in the best interest of the child.

I basically walked out and my bosses were completely understanding as they saw what I’d been dealing with for ten years. This was a special education room with children with profound disabilities that required a lot of care. I’d been teaching 18 years. Residential facility.”

4. Cliques

“The other teachers were gossipy and cliquey like they had never graduated high school (I started teaching at 30 after having worked in different types of jobs). They talked sh*t about each other all the time. The one teacher they all told me to avoid turned about to be the only teacher I could stand. Like me, she also worked “in the real world.”

The principal wanted me to lower my standards (which were exactly the state standards for that class. Nothing higher) because “they didn’t grow up talking about Shakespeare at the dinner table, like you.” Umm neither of my parents graduated high school so I don’t know why he assumed I was in some over educated household just because I had a few degrees. He was also just a major asshole. (He later was demoted from principal back to a teacher because he was terrible).

The students were okay, but I couldn’t stand the other teachers.”

5. I’m out

“I had a severe ear infection and temporarily lost my hearing for 3 days.

Tried to push through it for the first day but realised that not being able to hear the 30 9-year-olds in my class made teaching them pretty difficult.

I took 2 days off and sent highly detailed plans to the supply who was covering me. This was the only time I took off for the whole year.

I return to work to no less than 10 complaints. Apparently my sick leave was ‘incredibly selfish’ as having a different teacher for 2 days was ‘very confusing’ for the poor darlings, who couldn’t cope.

The Head teacher backed me up and told them to, respectfully, f*ck off but that was very much the last straw.

I’m bending over backwards working weekends and evenings for you and your kid but you can’t afford me a little human decency? I’m out.”

6. Not gonna happen

“Friend of mine quit on the spot when he was asked to change a student’s grade.

The kid missed over 50% of the classes, never handed in homework, did poorly on tests, etc, and ended up failing the class. He truly earned his failing grade. Because his father was an influential member of the school board/generous donor/blah blah blah, they “couldn’t” let the kid have a failing grade on his record.

Summer school was also not an option because the family had already scheduled a vacation during the time that summer classes would be in session. So, the principal told my buddy that he had to change the student’s grade to a passing grade.

My buddy told the principal he would absolutely not sign off on that, and if it was so important to him, to change the grade himself. He then. said “if you do change it, don’t expect to see me back here in September.” Sure enough, the grade got changed, and my buddy packed up his shit and left.”

7. Wild

“My 6th grade substitute science teacher quit in the middle of class. We were wild and unruly. Totally out of control. I watched him rub his forehead in frustration and he stands up, yells “F*CK EVERY ONE OF YOU!”, grabs his briefcase and walks out. It wasn’t singularly my fault but I still feel really bad about it. I’m sorry, Mr. Messina.”

8. Figuratively died

“I was teaching journalism in college.

A student handed in an article, which was supposed to go in a newspaper, that included no research and multiple emoticons.

Emoticons. This was before Buzzfeed.

So I gave the paper an F, and said come talk to me about this. I explained in short form why journalism exists, why it is important, and that his worst grade is dropped so this doesn’t have to hurt him. Hell, I would accept a redo.

The student in question was an athlete in a big state school for throwing balls fast.

I got shit from the dean of students, my department chair, other professorial types. Why wouldn’t I let it go? Was I racist or hate sports or what?

I just wanted him to try a little harder at the thing that was his college major. I used to pick my words so meticulously because communication is so important.

I held to my ethics, he got a tutor after a couple weeks, but it broke me. My mom had died less than a month prior and I had to explain to a college dean why “lol ;)” in the context of a journalistic article about a bar was unacceptable.

My father spent years learning English, and speaks it better than I do. This motherfucker threw balls fast and because of that I was supposed to pass him without question. Let’s go football, but between that and mom dying I could not go on. I figuratively died in that meeting.”

9. Breakdown

“Had a mental breakdown, brought about by stress: curriculum changes, meaning that low ability pupils were constant told that they were not good enough; less money meaning redundancies. Then the pressure of performance related pay with same said disinterested and low ability children. It was either leave teaching or commit suicide. Very supportive family and well paid partner meant that I could stop.”

10. Future felon

“Two things happened at once. After 4 years of teaching seventh grade:

A girl who complained to me for an entire semester of being harassed/groped brought a pocket knife to school and threatened a boy with it if he grabbed her breast again. SHE was expelled. I reported the incidents to administrators, school resource officers, and guidance counselors. They ignored her, me, and her other two teachers until she became that desperate for him to stop. Assholes.

Also, a “troubled” student (read: future felon, now a current felon) saw me walking from the convenience store with my goddaughter. He followed us and found my house. Started riding by, throwing stuff in my yard, yelling obscenities, etc. School resource officer said to go to the police; they said to go go him.

Final straw: he climbed on my fence and shot my dog with a paintball gun. I threatened to quit on the spot so they moved him from my class. Then over Christmas break, he stabbed and ruined my inflatable decorations.

I finished the year and was done. The girl from the first story homeschooled to finish high school, went to college, and just started her P.A. program. The future felon became an actual felon at 18, and is still in jail. Go figure.”

The post Teachers Share the Moment They Knew They Had to Quit appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Times Things Went WAY Better Than They Should Have

“Well, isn’t that convenient?” How many times have you said that in your life?

Sometimes the universe just seems to be looking out for you. These AskReddit folks shared the most convenient things that ever happened to them.

1. That worked out

“Was overseas for a conference and I had taken a tour on the weekend before it, and met some peeps. One was a group from America and the other a girl from Germany. As the tour wound down I gave out my email address and told them to contact me so we could do something the following day.

The next day I go have lunch with the Americans first, and I’m on a train back in the direction I’m staying in, but wasn’t too sure around public transport at the time. I get a call from the German girl who asks if I’d like to have coffee with her in a certain suburb. As she says that I look up, the train door opens and it has the suburb name on the wall. I climb off the train, walk out the station and she’s right there.”

2. Cruisin’

“In 2010 my dad was at a hotel across the state. Two things you need to know about my dad: he is always hot, and he is very stubborn. So he goes to open the window in his hotel room but it was jammed and wouldn’t open. So he yanked on it until he popped a tendon in his arm. He went to the hospital and got rushed back to our city, it was a big deal because if he didn’t have surgery within 72 hours he would likely lose use of his arm.

But he got the surgery, workman’s comp paid for it because he had been on a business trip, and all was well. But then the hotel called, saying they wanted to compensate him so that he wouldn’t sue. My dad assured them he is not the suing type, he recognized it was his own fault, etc., and even offered to sign something saying he wouldn’t sue, but they were insistent on providing compensation. So finally, my dad told them he wouldn’t even know what to ask for.

The hotel, who was affiliated with Holland America Cruise Lines, replied and said: “how about a free cruise for four anywhere Holland America sails, and $10000 to get you to the location of the port?” So he said… yeah okay.

So the summer before my senior year of high school, me, my parents, and my best friend went on a Mediterranean cruise that went through Spain, Monaco, Italy, Greece, and Croatia, and the cruise/travel cost us nothing. It was f*cking amazing.”

3. I believe

“Once I was about to get a haircut which would have cost me £9, however I only had £7 as I spend £3 earlier that day. Now I had to get this haircut otherwise I would have been killed by my mum as she is the one who gave me the money for that specific reason.

So there I was sitting and hoping I would be able to negotiate something, with each passing minute I was getting more nervous. When a miracle happened. A man approached me and told me that he is in a hurry and will pay for my haircut if I give him my space. And on that day for a minute I believed in God.”

4. Rolled on in

“I ran out of gas on a long one lane bridge with a gas station at the end on the left side of the road. Had enough momentum to get over the bridge, had a large enough break in traffic to turn left without braking, and saw that one pump was open on the correct side of my car. Rolled into the station and didn’t even need to touch the brake to stop at the pump. I should also mention the bridge was flat so I didn’t have any hills to help me out.

I’m pretty sure my lottery chances are shot with all the luck I blew in that one minute.”

5. Right person at the right time

“I got on the wrong bus and didn’t even realize until it made the first stop. I got off there and was in a panic of what to do since I had to be somewhere at a certain time. The first stop was a college campus I had never been to. I saw somebody going out to her car, who turned out to be a professor, and I went to ask her about a bus that ran from the school. She just asked where I needed to be and she gave me a ride to the place for free. I ran into the right person at the right time.”

6. Boom!

“I started a new job and about 2 months later they announced that everyone was getting laid off as they were moving the billing office to another branch in a different state in a few months.

As an incentive they offered up to $2,000 bonuses for the people who remained the longest to clear up all remaining balances to make the transition more easy. I ended up convincing my old manager at my previous job to re-hire me a few weeks after the announcement.

Months later after I had left I ended up getting a check in the mail for the full bonus amount which I cashed ASAP.”

7. On vacation

“When I was maybe 15 or so, my mom told me to go to the doctor to get health report (for some documentation, it’s a long story). I didn’t want to go, so I lied that I went and the doctor was on vacation. Later, she comes into my room saying, “So, I called the doctor to make sure…”, and I’m like “OH SH*T”, and then she continues “So, you were right, she is on vacation indeed.”

I still can’t believe this happened.”

8. Helping hand

“I was cycling in a very isolated area, exploring my province, when one of my tires blew. I wasn’t even carrying any repair tools with me, so I was left with the only option to walk back 20 miles to the nearest village and either look for help or cancel my trip and take a bus back home. Not 1 minute after I started walking two cyclists appeared on the horizon. They happily fixed my tire and I was able to complete my ride. Montreal – Percé.”

9. Lemme, lemme upgrade

“One time I got into the wrong line when boarding a plane, but the attendant said “go on ahead” and instantly upgraded me to first class.”

10. Might have starved

“Went island camping with a friend of mine on a little sail boat. We did not have a gas stove to heat our food in, we instead had a metal frame that used firewood. Unfortunately, where we landed was void of any sort of wood. I’m convinced this was Deus ex machina at play here , but we conveniently found a store-bought log of firewood in this tiny island. Would have starved without it.”

11. That’s always nice

“Back in 2003 when you could fill at the pump then pay, I filled my car and went in to pay. The guy said that pump didn’t register a sale. Told me to have a nice day. I got around $38 worth of free gas.”

12. That was quick

“Bought a car for $2000. Picked it up and drove it 3 blocks home. Guy across the street sees the for sale sign and asks how much. Tell him I just bought it and he offers me $4500. He goes and gets me cash, I sign it over to him. $2500 bucks made in 30 mins.”

13. Lazy and happy

“Married the girl next door. We were friend and neighbors for almost a decade. We were frustrated being single and did the “hey! wanna date.” After we got married moving her in was a friggin dream! We kept the 2nd apt for 2 months, that was fun too. She didn’t have to change her address. Now that I think about it. We might be the laziest happily married couple.”

14. Easy!

“I had an AMEB piano exam coming up and I was supposed to have prepared two extra pieces, one of which the examiner would ask me to play (but you don’t know which one they’ll pick of course).

One, I had nailed. The other, from the very beginning, was a piece I never really liked much and I’d only learnt the first couple of pages – the rest of the piece would probably sound like someone playing it for the first time. Honestly, I didn’t give that piece nearly as much time as I should’ve.

So I went into that exam just HOPING the examiner would pick my good piece. Exam day came around and the examiner picked the piece I could only half play. CRAP.

Then, by some incredible alignment of the stars, she says ‘I’ll just get you to play to the end of the second page.’

Yes, of course Mrs Examiner, easy!”

15. A dream

“The job description literally was “off-role job, you have been notified”

I thought it was a joke, I applied on it anyway. Turns out Its one of the biggest Automobile giants in world desperately needing a graphic designer who is ready for an off-role job.

Its EXACTLY 12 minutes ride on Motorbike to and 17 minutes fro.

Got a chill boss who’s barely 9 years older than me and completely fine with me showing up 45 minutes late to work EVERYDAY as long as the work is done before I leave ON TIME.

When asked about the funny job description, she grilled the HR dept about funky job description.

some perks of my job

An hour late on job is acceptable EVERDAY. (due to my boss’s designation)
Mostly leave on time 5 minutes give or take extra
A less polite conversation makes my boss thinks she is scolding me and 5 minutes later she politely but professionally apologizes for ‘yelling’ at me. LOL
Can take up to 3,15-20 minutes break excluding lunch break
Company has an agency already hired who does half of my work. (I’m there for emergency creatives)
This is absolutely a dream job for a second job.”

The post 15 Times Things Went WAY Better Than They Should Have appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Singles Discuss What They Love Most About Their Lifestyle

These days, I’m quite happily married, but it wasn’t that many years ago that I was living the single life. While I’m definitely happier today than I was then, there are definitely some parts of the single life that were pretty great.

There are a lot of perks, as these 15 people are quick to point out.

#1. My entire social battery.

I can do what I want whenever I want!
Well, actually I still gotta help my family and go to work and that pretty much drains my entire social battery.

#2. Not getting dragged into lame events.

Not getting dragged into lame events with her family that essentially ruin my weekend.

“Oh no, I totally want to drive three hours and hangout with your family this weekend. I had these crazy plans to relax, maybe go for a bike ride, have some beers by pool, go to a movie with our friends, etc. But you’re right, lets drive three hours away to listen to your family argue about politics, eat bland food, and sleep on a futon. Sounds great.”

#3. What I love about being single.

All of my shit is exactly where I left it when I get home.

My bed is still made, my dishes are still done, my food is still there, my clothes are still clean, and nothing is missing from my cash stash.

If I want to stay up late and watch movies or listen to music, I can.

If I want to go to bed early, and use the whole damn bed, I can.

If I want to go out and have a few drinks with my friends, I can.

I never have to laugh at unfunny memes’ found on FaceBook, or explain why I’m laughing so hard at anything.

I never have to justify my joy.

I’m my own person. Full, complete, and content.

And no one can drain that from me.

This is what I love about being single.

#4. So much space!

Being able to sleep diagonally across my bed, so much space !

#5. The same goes for me.

No one has to deal with my shit, and the same goes for me. Dunno how I’d handle that.

#6. Free of the constant anxiety.

I’m free of the constant anxiety of if I’m being a good boyfriend.

#7. No obligations.

the fact that I have no obligations to anyone on a daily basis (outside of my family and shit). all I gotta do is worry about myself. also I get to use all my money for me

Edit: Thanks for the silvers and all the replies, even the ones who disagree, I enjoy hearing your perspectives.

#8. When you put something somewhere.

No longer single but the fact that when you put something somewhere IT FUCKING STAYS THERE!!!

Edit : thank you for gold and silver!

#9. The thing I miss most.

married father here chiming in.

The thing I miss most about being single is the ability to act purely in your own self-interest without having any sense of guilt or responsibility to another person. And I’m not even talking about something with high stakes — I’m talking about something as simple as wanting to eat an entire bag of skittles without sharing with another person.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sacrificing for my family and sharing any and every thing I have with my wife and kid, but when you’re single, you have the ability and right to make every tiny decision based on your own self-interest or selfishness, and that’s something I sometimes miss on a very simple rudimentary level.

#10. Not worrying about their success.

I enjoy not worrying about their success. Life can be difficult, so supporting an SO and putting personal struggles on the back burner to do so can be exhausting.

Overall, a healthy relationship is still my favorite… but single is much better than an unhealthy one.

Obligatory Edit: Holy karma! Thank you everyone! I’m so happy that so many of you found some value in this post. I’m in the middle of a divorce and had been habitually putting myself second to my wife, so I’ve really been trying to convince myself this is true. All these fake internet points reassure me in my thinking and make me feel pretty great, so I really appreciate you all. Please stay awesome! 👉🏻😎👉🏻

#11. Delightfully selfish.

I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I can spend money on myself with zero regard for what anyone else thinks. I don’t have to factor anyone else into my plans or life decisions.

It can be lonely sometimes, but it’s also delightfully selfish.

#12. I don’t have to choose.

i don’t have to chose between hanging with my friends or my SO.

#13. Best of all…

Not having to share a bed.

Not having to share your food.

Your space. Your free time. Your time out with friends.

But best of all …

Not having to have unnecessarily long discussions on where to eat.

#14. Stuff can just happen.

That stuff can just happen. If I want to change my entire weekend plans, bam – done. If I stumble upon a thing that happens and want to participate, boom – done. If I don’t want to talk to anyone, ka-blam – done.

#15. Exactly where it should be.

Everything in my car and apartment is exactly where it should be.

Try not to be jealous, coupled people. We have perks, too.

Just not the same ones.

The post 15 Singles Discuss What They Love Most About Their Lifestyle appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share The Rudest Assumptions Someone Has Made About Them

I wish more people would stop making assumptions about someone without knowing anything about them It’s so prevalent, and a lot of times we do it without even realizing.

What really sucks is when people assume the worst about you.

1. MRStaken

I have an undercut for my hair and wear it to the side, it almost hits my shoulder. I get misgenedered all the time because of this.

Apparently people look right beyond the facial hair and just call me miss, ma’am, lady, or whatever. Pretty much whenever this happens I just laugh it off because its kinda funny honestly and people make mistakes. I make sure they don’t feel bad about it when they realize it or just let them go and not correct them, its whatever.

But sometimes people get shitty and try to argue with me about why do I look like a girl. So I’d say thats pretty fuckin rude.

The assumption is whatever, just continuing to pester and get shitty to me about it is what I think is really rude about the whole thing.

2. Guys… stop saying this!!!!

That I can’t possibly be smart enough to do my job (security side of tech) because I’m an attractive woman. (Not assuming here – have had guys say this to me explicitly.)

It did help quickly weed out the assholes while I was dating, though.

3. A mediocre friend…

I was hanging out a friend and it had been about a month after we had met etc, and they said, “The best thing about you is that you’re happy being mediocre”.

This felt especially bad as at that time in my life, I had just had a string of failures and was already pretty down.

4. Why you so judgey old lady?

I was in target and stopped to look at a really cute swim suit for a baby that was on display in the aisle.

Two older ladies passed by and one of them said “she’s way too young to have a child” nose in the air.

I was in my mid 20s, probably the same age or older than she was when she had kids.

5. Again, trade jobs pay really well. People need to wise up.

That I’m probably just some uneducated immigrant who can’t speak English.

I’m Mexican, I drive a truck for a living. I make more doing this than putting my bachelor’s to use.

I don’t talk much because I’m tired, grumpy and depressed all of the time.

6. You WISH you made what he does…

I went to walmart while taking a break from painting the nursery. I was fairly spattered in paint and trying to pick a pizza. I heard a lady tell her kid “that is why you go to school so you don’t have a job like that”. There are layers to just how fucked up that was. Not the least of which is house painters can make pretty decent money.

7. When HR needs to apologize…

At a past employer someone complained to HR that I was allegedly playing inappropriate Rap music and too loudly at my desk.

I get called into HR to explain myself and told them it wasn’t me…it was the white guy sitting two desks behind me and he came in to admit it because he didn’t think it was such a big deal to be in trouble for.

It was probably the fact that since I was the only black guy where I sit in a certain part of the office, they just naturally assumed it was me.

You can imagine the sheer embarrassment on part of HR that came after.

8. Are they counting inner beauty?

“Why won’t you date her? Are you gay?”

“No, I just don’t like her”

“But she is prettier than you… ”

Happens strangely often, even if not with those exact words.

9. At this point… how do people not realize video games are entertainment like everything else?

That I’m lazy because I really enjoy videogames.

Bitch, I have a full-time job, house, car, wife, and a dog.

I also do most of the cooking, cleaning, dog-walking, and general chores around the house because my wife works crazy hours.

Lazy my ass.

10. So this one actually probably hurt quite a bit.

That I was stupid enough not to figure out that the guy I had a crush on in middle school was paid to go on a date with me as a joke.

10+ years later I’m still pissed.

Though based on how he’s doing now I dodged a real bullet there lmao

11. Just like a bad movie…

Well… There was the time I was an engineering student at a very well respected school and a mother told her son to make sure to get good grades so he didnt end up working in a movie theater like me. To my face.

I liked working there and did it because I was early in college and needed some extra cash.

I guess everyone that works at a movie theater is just a dumbass then instead of high school/college kids like we all were.

So that was pretty shit.

12. Good for you mom!

That I was being horribly disrespectful in a church ceremony.

In reality I was my little sisters Confirmation sponsor (Catholic rite) and was also in end stage liver failure. Was on lots of meds for pain and my brain was marinating in ammonia so I had several head drops (like when you’re falling asleep) during the 2 hour mass. Woman next to me berates me for being ‘so rude and disrespectful’

Luckily my mom found her afterwards and tore her a new one.

13. Not an only child

My (only) sister died when I was 15, when people I don’t particularly know or like very well ask me if I have siblings, I usually just say no – I don’t like to talk about it and it’s a conversation killer. But it’s surprising how many have replied with: ‘oh, only child? You must have been spoiled.’

I love then saying: ‘well I had a sister but she died.’ The look on their face is priceless 😂 Keep your judgements to yourselves, people.

14. Gender bender

When I was working at Best Buy in my teens/early 20’s, people would ask me to my face if I could go and get a “male” worker to answer their questions because they felt “more comfortable” asking them about it (stuff like game consoles, cameras and equipment, ipods, that was the area I worked in).

The fun part was watching the customers faces malfunction that male coworker would walk them back over to me, because I knew what I was doing in that department and they only knew their stuff when it came to TVs or washers and dryers.

15. Well, that’s quite a sales pitch…

A girl I met for a date on an app once said to me at the end of the date that I should see her again because a guy of my height won’t have many options.

16. Not zee person you thought he was…

I am a german living abroad so i have a german accent.

Also since i have had a receding hairline since my teens i have a short hair cut.

So yeah you’d be suprised how many times held me for a nazi.

My father and I were in Prague when we heard an English woman say to her friend, about us, ”they look so British they can’t be British”, which I don’t think was a compliment.

Okay, we were British but I think that was a bit uncalled for.

17. Hugs, not drugs

I have ADHD so I talk fast, I’m super tall and lanky and also suffer from all year around allergies.

Multiple times I’ve been told I have a cocaine addiction.

18. “Fuckular”

Just because I have these muscular fuckular forearms, babes are always asking me to twist the caps off of everything.

The truth, I have really soft under hands, and caps tear me up really good.

Well, that was uncomfortable.

The post People Share The Rudest Assumptions Someone Has Made About Them appeared first on UberFacts.

13 Game-Changing Scientific Discoveries Everyone Needs To Know About

I fucking love science. Because science can help us create things that seem like magic, but they’re real and they usually help humanity.

Recently a reddit thread asked the following question: What are some recent scientific breakthroughs/discoveries that aren’t getting enough attention? Of course, reddit users didn’t disappoint with their knowledge of all those things we haven’t heard about, but need to.

So check out these 13 discoveries and have faith in science. Because it’s provable and actually helps us all.

Amen.

1. Carbon Dioxide Flakes?

That we have figured out how to suck CO2 out of the atmosphere and now, very recently, how to turn it into solid flakes of carbon again. And not just under higly specific and expensive lab conditions, this process is apparently scalable.

We still need to curb emissions but this does flip the equation quite a bit regarding global warming, allowing us to put some of the toothpaste back into the tube so to speak.

Coupled with wind and solar energy, I predict this will become a major industry by mid-century, and very pure carbon an abundant material.

2. New killer whales?

Don’t know if anyone has pointed this one out… but pretty certain scientists have discovered a new species of orcas that live in sub-Antarctic waters.

They are calling it the “Type-D Orca”… pretty cool looking animals.

More rounded heads… smaller white eye patches… taller, narrower dorsal fins…

Being a soon to be marine biology grad, this excites me!

3. MDMA helping PTSD?

If the final trials go well (they are predicted to and the previous trials have done), MDMA-assisted psychotherapy will soon be an FDA-approved treatment for PTSD.

It is administered in a couple of doses over a few weeks and has lifelong effects.

The group doing this research got FDA Breakthrough Therapy status for it a few years ago and have been carrying out the phase 3 trials since early last year.

They were doing research into the same thing in Israel and it just got approved for compassionate use for PTSD in Israel this month.

Organization is called MAPS and they do some really interesting work.

4. Gluten-free?

There’s a good chance there will be a cure for celiac disease within the next 10 years.

There’s currently an active and ongoing clinical trial where participants (with diagnosed celiac) are getting infusions that will ultimately reverse the autoimmune response a person with celiac has when they consume gluten. It’s still far from complete, but we are closer than we’ve ever been to curing celiac disease.

**The clinical trial is taking place in Cleveland, Ohio. I was asked to be a part of it but unfortunately I just don’t have the extra time. If anybody local wants more information please message me and I can get you in contact with one of the researchers!

5. Skin guns?

Pretty recently they started doing tests for an extremely mobile skin grafting machine. It uses a kind of hydrogel out of the patient’s own skin, and scans the area of the burn then just prints out the skin.

Also, I saw a video a while ago about a guy who had a solution of skin cells airbrushed on the burn (mostly 2nd degree, IIRC). In 3-4 days he was healed with no scarring. The skin gun: https://youtu.be/eXO_ApjKPaI

6. Chemo that doesn’t poison you?

My job is coming came out with a drug that reduces the damage chemotherapy does to the body and helps regenerate blood cells faster, allowing for stronger doses to be administered and treatment scheduled to be reduced heavily.

This allows doctors to treat cancer more aggressively.

7. Bionic parts?

You can get hands and feet that are pretty close to the actual thing that operate by feeling the muscles that remain.

We will soon be long gone from the days of military style hooks and lumps of solid plastic.

8. Mental health issues caused by inflammation?

One of the more recent theories in psychiatry gaining popularity (although it was acknowledged decades ago) is the role of inflammation and the immune system in mental illness. There are studies showing that in schizophrenia and other psychotic conditions, inflammation attacks the brain. Some of the damage by inflammation might be irreversible, so the hope is that early intervention could prevent chronic schizophrenia. Trials have been attempted with anti-inflammatories like fish oil, with mixed success.

The role of inflammation has been extended to multiple mental illnesses, like depression, with raised inflammatory markers and other evidence being a common finding. Ultimately mental illness is multifactorial, and the causes are often biological, psychological, and/or social. So we can’t reduce something so complex and heterogenous to just an action by the immune system. But it has gained some excitement in the field because there could be people out there, for example, with schizophrenia for whom one of the primary causes is immune system dysregulation, and researchers are racing to find a prevention.

9. Diabetes no more?

They’re getting closer to a cure for type 1 diabetes. There’s already multiple people who have been cured with no need for insulin for years now after a clinical study

Here is the man that’s been cured: https://www.cityofhope.org/breakthroughs/rose-parade-diabetes-patient-roger-sparks

Here is a good breakdown of what they found in 2018: https://www.cityofhope.org/breakthroughs/wanek-project-to-cure-type-1-diabetes-18-months-later

And this is the latest new on the study: https://www.cityofhope.org/breakthroughs/study-by-diabetes-expert-describes-promising-type-1-treatments

10. New physics?!

Astronomer here!

Most of you have heard that the universe is expanding. Astrophysicists believe there is a relationship between the distance to faraway galaxies and how fast they are moving from us, called the Hubble constant.

We use the Hubble constant for… just about everything in cosmology, to be honest. This isn’t crazy and has been accepted for many decades.

What is crazy is, if you are paying attention, it appears the Hubble constant is different depending on what you use to measure it!

Specifically, if you use the “standard candle” stars (Cepheids and Type Ia supernovae) to measure how fast galaxies are speeding away from us, you get ~73 +/- 1 km/s/Mpc.

If you study the earliest radiation from the universe (the Cosmic Microwave Background) using the Planck satellite, you get 67 +/- 1 km/s/Mpc. This is a LOT, and both methods have a lot of confidence in that measurement with no obvious errors.

To date, no one has come up with a satisfactory answer for why this might be, and in the past year or so it’s actually a bit concerning. If they truly disagree, well, it frankly means there is some new, basic physics at play.

Exciting stuff! It’s just so neat that whenever you think you know how the universe works, it can throw these new curveballs at you from the most unexpected places!

11. Glad + Metal = ?!

Earlier this month, scientists were able to successfully weld glass and metal together using ultrafast (on the order of picoseconds, which are such a short unit of time that compared to it, a full second might as well be 30,000 years) laser pulses.

This hasn’t been successfully done before due to the very different thermal properties of glass and metal.

This is actually a pretty big breakthrough in manufacturing and could lead to stronger yet lighter materials.

12. Special K treats depression?

The FDA just approved ketamine as an antidepressant for treatment-resistant depression in the form of esketamine as a nasal spray.

It’s of the few unique and hopeful approaches to treatment-resistant depression that we’ve seen in years—some stats put the rate of recovery as high as 80%.

This doesn’t give you full recovery, but alleviation at least.

13. We’re still discovering lost history?

Göbekli Tepe – ruin discovered in Turkey that dates back to 11000 BCE, or further.

This throws a massive wrench into our understanding of what people were capable of at that time, and hints at advanced civilizations having likely existed long before we thought they did.

It has also only been about 10% excavated.

Also…

I’ve actually read some articles over the past few weeks about archaeologists using LIDAR technology to uncover Mayan ruins, and they’ve found that Mayan civilization was much more extensive than originally assumed.

At its height, its now believed that its population may have numbered near 15 million citizens, and that they engaged in extensive trade with their neighbors to the North and South; these LIDAR scans have revealed evidence of vast cities, farmlands and roadways. And this was all without any pack animals or wheeled carts.

Well, look at what science keeps doing for us!

Believe in science, folks. It always comes through eventually.

The post 13 Game-Changing Scientific Discoveries Everyone Needs To Know About appeared first on UberFacts.

911 Operators Share the One Call That’ll Haunt Them Forever

It should be no secret that the people on the other end of the 9-1-1 line have super stressful jobs. They’re talking to human beings in their most desperate moments (and also some stupid and hilarious moments, of course), so of course they have some pretty good stories.

Like the 17 below, categorized by people on the job as totally “unforgettable.”

#1. Got you now, you little sh*t.

I have a few.

I took a call from a man who’s ~1 year old daughter fell in the pool while unattended. At the time of the call she was not breathing, unresponsive, and had no pulse. My partner dispatched out fire and EMS while I was on the phone. Got the child’s mother to start CPR. Fortunately she was certified and didn’t require very much instruction at all, just had to tell her to count her compressions out loud so I could keep up. Before first responders arrived, the baby starts breathing again. I believe she sustained some brain injury but nothing life threatening. Had to go take a walk around the block after that one. Please please please, if you aren’t CPR certified, get certified. It very well may have been the difference between that child living and dying.

On a lighter note, I also had a guy call in claiming he was having a heart attack. None of the info I got from this guy indicated he was even remotely at risk for one. Mid 20s male, average weight, no history of heart problems (or any other medical history for that matter). Turns out he had smoked some particularly strong pot about 30 minutes prior to calling. Absolutely nothing wrong with him other than he was stoned stupid. We got a pretty good laugh out of that one.

I also took a call from a kid who was about 10 years old who thought it would be funny to prank call 911. He started off by saying there was a fire. I could hear him giggling in the background. Followed that up with meowing at me over the phone. Managed to get a good location off the call and got his address. Read the address to him and asked if that’s where he lives. CLICK. Alright, got you now, you little shit. Had a deputy go out to the house as is our policy and he explained the situation to the parents. Deputy told me later the kid got the ass chewing of a lifetime. Super gratifying.

#2. We still had to check for spiders.

“A woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”

In college, I worked as an EMT in a major city. Not the craziest call I ever had but one of the wackiest call outs we ever got was to respond to “a woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”. I’ll never forget pulling up to this major intersection where, sure enough, there’s this old lady lying on the sidewalk with her pants off and legs spread up in the air. Turns out it was this transient lady in her 70s who had been having some wild hallucinations.

We still had to check for spiders 🙁

#3. He couldn’t let it go.

Not me, but my sister is a dispatcher. One time she received a call from a man who said he just killed his sister and brother. She kept him on the phone for 5 or 6 minutes to make sure he didn’t run before officers arrived. She got him to admit they had all been drinking and playing cards, then got into an argument when one of them accused the other of cheating. The other two went to bed, but this guy stayed up stewing. Apparently he couldn’t let it go. He shot each of them in their beds while they slept, then called 911. I heard a partial recording of the call and she sounded calm AF. She told me she was screaming on the inside the entire time.

#4. Profoundly sad.

Older lady, I want to say maybe early 70s, calls in with a sort of polite urgency in her voice, tells me she thinks she’s having a stroke. Tells me she has her grandchild at the house with her, asks me to call her daughter to come get the child.

By the time she’s done giving me the phone number there’s just a very slight slur in her speech. By the time EMS got there (probably no more than 5 minutes or so) I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. Fascinating, disturbing, and profoundly sad hearing someone stroke out on the phone as they’re talking to you.

#5. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

Had some one call saying a man had been killed by a goat. Turns out goat is what they also call the machine that picks oranges off of trees. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

#6. It was slugs.

I’ll go with a lighter one. I once had an elderly woman complain that gang members tagged her shed. She also said she didn’t want a black deputy (this is the south). The (black) deputy arrived and found that it wasnt spray paint, but that her shed was so dirty that slugs had eaten paths in the filth that created patterns.

#7. She’d been laying down in the back seat without her seatbelt on.

This one still bothers me because it’s so fresh and our community is hurting from it as well. Took a call from a hysterical woman advising me of a rollover crash that happened near her house. She lives near the top of a blind hill that people like to “jump” (like catching that butterfly feeling in your stomach, although you can get air in the right vehicle). She tells me that a girl is laying on the ground about 30 feet or so from the vehicle. When asked if the girl is alive, she says, “Oh yes, honey she’s wiggling around on the ground. My daughter is a nurse, she’s checking on her now.” Awesome. We hardly ever are lucky enough to have a trained professional on scene before a med unit can get there. But then she tells me her daughter is starting CPR. To be honest, that didn’t surprise me. My caller was getting hysterical again and we already had first responders on the way, so I started asking more questions about the scene. Her daughter breaks CPR to get on the phone with me. Tells me she can do compressions only, that the girl’s jaw is completely gone. A bit stunned, I tell her to continue compressions. But rather than getting put back on with the original caller, I hear the scared voice of a teenage girl, the driver. “Is my friend going to be okay?” I can’t find anything to say for a moment. Finally, after what seemed to be too long, I say “They’re doing CPR, dear. And we have help on the way. Are you and the other passenger okay?” “We’re fine. Just please tell me she’s okay.” The girl on the ground was confirmed D.O.A. She had been laying down in the back seat without her seat belt on because she had a headache. She was 15.

#8. The type of scream…

Answered to the sounds of a couple of women absolutely screaming and wailing (I’m sure anyone that has done the job long enough knows the type of scream I mean – that blood curdling scream of someone in genuine anguish). Knew something was up and got police and ambulance on the way. Trying to get them on the phone to get details and a boy of no more than five years old comes on the phone and says “my daddy is swinging from the roof and his eyes are open and staring”.

He had hung himself while his family were out doing their shopping.

#9. Kindness and compassion in his last moments.

A young man 23 years old called and told me he was going to commit suicide. He was my first call of my shift that day, very early in the morning. He planned to set his car on fire with himself inside. He was upset and crying but he apologized to me. He said he was sorry I picked up the phone and he was sorry for how this was going to affect me. He hung up on me and the second time I was speaking to him I could hear liquid splashing in the background. He ended hanging up again and I never got him back. He did end up setting the on fire and it was fully engulfed by the time anyone got there. I’ll never forget his name or voice and I simply hope I showed him kindness and compassion in his last moments.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver kind strangers! I appreciate all the comments. I’m fine. Im lucky enough to have an amazing support system in my co-workers and I have an awesome spouse to keep me grounded. This call made me a better dispatcher. It’s easy to become desensitized to the horrific things we hear and this young man renewed my passion for helping people.

#10. Biggest WTF.

Well, my buddy is a fireman and dispatch had just alerted them of a man having chest pains. They get to the guys house, and as soon as they open the door, the dudes dog runs outside. The dude shouts “you let my dog out! go get my dog! Please!” So my buddy immediately starts chasing the dog.

He catches the dog, comes back to the house, and when he walks in the door he sees that the man having “chest pains” had actually shot a HOLE IN HIS CHEST while cleaning his gun.

Old dude shoots himself in the chest, tells 911 it’s chest pains, and when help arrives, he makes them go chase his dog down before tending to his own life threatening wound. Biggest WTF of my buddies career

#11. Pretty messed up.

This actually happened a few days ago. I’m an ER tech, but one of our unit secretaries (someone who transfers calls and does other important tasks that keeps the place afloat) is an EMT in the next county over. I was waiting for a patient to return to their room, talking with her, when she looks down at her phone. She tells me she has the dispatch app or whatever for ambulances and fire trucks, and every firehall in the county had just received a call about a possible decomposing body. Apparently the neighbor called about a terrible smell coming from the property. Hazmat was called and everything, expecting a dead human body.

Once they broke into the house, they found that it wasn’t a dead human, but 38 dogs in the house. 11 of the dogs were dead and in “varying states of decomposition”. The place is still pretty much under wraps, but 16 more dogs were found in the shed yesterday. The two people who owned the house have since been arrested and charged with 51 counts of animal cruelty. All of the animals left alive were taken to the humane society, where half of the county has just about donated food or blankets.

The whole thing is pretty messed up, but I now for sure respect the hell out of the EMTs and paramedics that walk through our doors everyday. They really never know what they’re going to see when they walk into a place.

Here’s the most recent article: https://www.carrollcountytimes.com/news/local/cc-dogs-cruelty-040919-story,amp.html

#12. It really messed with my head.

I’ve been a 911 dispatcher for 11 years in a medium size center (population ~180,000). We have more than our share of crazy calls but there are only a few calls that have stuck with me. For me the ones that I can’t get rid of aren’t even close to being the craziest or most brutal.

7-8 years ago I took a 911 call from a man who came home to find his adult sister had been raped and beaten. The suspect had wrapped a telephone cord around her neck then tried to push her through the window of the apartment. He was understandably very distraught. She was still alive and was able to talk to me. She had not been blindfolded and I was certain I could get a description of the person who had done this to her. She answered all of my other questions but absolutely refused to give me any info on the suspect. I later found out that the reason was self-preservation, the person who did it was the brother who called 911 for help. He was so believable it really messed with my head. I also felt horrible that I had continued pressing her for info with the person who hurt her was right there and that I could have potentially put her in more danger without realizing.

#13. She was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.

I was a dispatcher for a residential alarm company similar to ADT. I would call people when their alarm was tripped and ask them if they were okay.
One day I received a signal from a residence from a glass break sensor on a window in the bathroom.
When i called the lady was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.
Turns out she was cleaning her bathroom and when she bent over she farted so hard and loud it set off the sensor on the bathroom window.

#14. Not even a little bit.

Not 911, but tele-nursing, people called me plenty when it should have been 911.

Grandma, calls me about her 16 year old, 40 week pregnant, grand daughter.

GM: Hey my grandbaby is pregnant and she just went to pee and said the cord is hanging out….is that normal?

Me: No…..not even a little bit

#15. Not something I’ll ever forget.

For me, the worst ones are always the calls you can relate to on a personal level. I took a call last month from a father who discovered his son with a bag over his head and a note next to his body. I’ve taken a ton of suicide calls, but this one was particularly difficult for me because the son was my age, and the way the father pleaded with his son was almost exactly the same way I’ve imagined my dad if I were to ever do the same. I’ve had the same “Come on, buddy! Don’t do this to me!” running in my head at least 2-3 times a day since.

Also, not technically a call but my first shift on my own, I dispatched the deputy I did my ride along with to a domestic that he ended up being shot and killed at. Hearing his blood-gurgled “shots fired” scream on the radio won’t be something I’ll ever forget.

#16. It was a wild time.

A woman masturbating on the phone.

The first time she called she sounded normal at first. Asked for an officer that never worked here. General conversation about this officer while she progressively got more.. extreme with her moaning. I eventually (and gracefully) ended the conversation. It was a wild time. I still remember her name and voice.

The second and third times she called I asked if it was her and she hung up right away.

Why are you like this Ms. Roberts? What is your end game?

Edit: For clarification, we traced the number down to a woman in Florida. We’re located in Missouri and our agency is tiny (part of why I like this job). Hunting her down and bringing her to justice probably would have gotten her offwouldn’t have been worth the hassle.

#17. It will stick with me forever.

Student Paramedic here. Had a call being general broadcasted over radio when I was chilling in base with my mentor (we were on a 2 man car ambulance) operator who was broadcasting said something along the lines of: “female, reportedly unconscious, police on scene, major trauma (pause)… CPR in progress confirmed arrest by police on scene.”

my mentor looks at me, we’re off in 30 mins at the end of a night shift but we go anyway. We’re around the corner. Make it there in no time at all. There’s police EVERYWHERE. at least 7 squad cars. I’m nervous as hell and so is my mentor. As we approach the house, a man emerges, handcuffed by police. He looks content enough and smiles at us as we walk by. Police shout for us to hurry, we run over with equipment to front door and are met with one of the worst scenes I’ve ever seen and will always be there in my mind.

There’s a woman lying on the ground, with the left side of her head caved in, blood absolutely all over the place and brain matter scattered around the floor too. Police are doing CPR, we stop them when we see the Patient has signs of pooling and rigor mortis. I’m literally sweating and on the verge of tears, this is not how I wanted my shift to end. Then, we hear from behind us more police in the house and the sounds of children. 2 kids are escorted out of a bedroom behind us with their eyes covered and one of them asks:”what’s going on Where’s Mommy?”. My heart melted. I’ve never been exactly traumatised by a job but those kids being shielded from what just happened to their mother will stick with me forever.

I bring equipment back to the ambulance as my mentor starts to do paperwork and we wait for someone to move the body. Social services arrive and take the kids, blissfully unaware of what’s just happened. Was off 3 hours late after all the paperwork and interviewing from police. Good job, but man has it lefts it’s mark on me.

I couldn’t do it. Glad others can!

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15+ People Who Are Not Sorry At All, Thank You Very Much!

Sometimes you do something and you really regret it.

Not these 18 people! They do not regret a thing, and it’s wonderful to read. Because when you’re truly wronged, you deserve a little retribution.

Or if you want a plum… go get the plum!

You’ll see…

1. Slowly…

Slowing down when someone is tailing me.

I only do this in the slow lane, I typically move if I’m in the fast lane.

2. This aunt needs to get her priorities straight!

My aunt was about to get married to this one rich scumbag who apparently treated her “right”. My brother and I did some investigating over the fact that he had lots and I mean LOTS of female friends.

A lot of sht went on, but in the end, we found out that he was a sleeping with and is a sugardaddy to some of of them. It was just three days before the actual wedding that we found out.

Told our aunt about it, wedding was cancelled, aunt was upset with us as well for some reason, and we regret nothing.

3. The right thing to do!

Sneaking pictures of my aunt into her fathers funeral slideshow behind her sisters back.

The two never got along and one sister was in charge of the funeral. She was adamant about leaving out any photo with her sister in it. My aunt (the victim in this case) was very close with her father. So I lied to my other aunt that the slideshow was done and I downloaded a secret folder of pictures onto the slideshow. She’s so bad with technology that she didn’t notice.

Not sorry.

My other aunt gave me a teary hug after the funeral and thanked me, she knew I had been the one to slip them in. She died last month of a sudden aneurism. I’d do it again, even if my other aunt never talked to me again. I sure miss her.

4. Be kind to yourself!

I’m not sorry for focusing on me and my needs. I used to be so concerned with taking care of all my friends and family to the point that I was I was sacrificing my needs for a lot of people who would not do the same for me. I’ve learned to cut toxic people out of my life and focus on my true close friends and family rather than trying to care for everyone.

Being liked by everyone used to be so important to me and honestly it’s so exhausting. I’m not sorry if people don’t like me anymore. It’s impossible to make everyone happy.

As long as you’re not being a complete asshole, you need to take your needs into consideration as well.

5. Time to grow up kid!

I love my daughter to death, but at 25, I had to cut her off financially.

I support everything she is passionate about, but if your passion is working for non-profits and wilderness retreats, maybe you should adjust your lifestyle so you can afford your bills.

6. Bully… watch your back…

In Elementary School, a kid named Patrick was my bully and he’d do shit like “accidentally” bump into me and spill my lunch and step on the backs of my shoes.

So one day, he was coming out of the cafeteria and I stuck my leg out and watched him trip face forward into the ground. We both got sent to the Principal’s Office, and he got whatever the Elementary School version of an In-School Suspension was for his repetitive bullying while I got a slap on the wrist.

Absolutely not sorry.

7. Completely fair!

Eating the snacks that my wife has forgotten about.

8. Facebook is not real life, people!

Quitting FB and having people complain that they don’t know what I’m up to. Fucking ask me!

9. Oh, this is a really good idea…

Cutting out my dad’s side of the family from my life.

They made my life a living hell while I was growing up. I was the youngest of the cousins so I would regularly get beat up or locked in rooms (my dad worked nights). They would smash furniture and TVs then blame me. As a young adult all they did was cause more drama by still break things in my dad’s apartment, or try to start physical fights. I’ve had so many fist fights with my cousin from defending my property to protecting my cat (no one messes with my kitty).

Once I moved out of my dad’s I cut all contact with them. I maybe see them once a year when my dad tricks me into seeing them (he has the mentality of always forgive family).

They know nothing of my adult life and I know nothing of theirs and I’m going to keep it that way.

10. Charities shouldn’t pressure like this…

I refused to give money to charity. Okay, but hear me out on this.

There was a lady who was claiming to represent a charity, but acted really shady. This was at a concert in a cafe/bar. She had a clipboard and was approaching people by saying “I’m taking donations for (whatever charity). Just write down whether you’re giving $5, $10, or $20.”

She didn’t ask if you’d donate, just told you to choose how much you were giving her.

I told her I prefer giving to charities I’ve researched, because some of them only spend a low percentage of donation money on the cause (Susan B. Komen ಠ_ಠ ). The lady got angry and raised her voice at me. She tried shaming and bullying me into giving her money, and we seriously fought about it.

Eventually she turned to my friend and started pressuring him lol. He said “Yeah uh…like my friend said…” and she stormed off. You have to trust me, there was something off about her. Plus, she waited until people were buzzed at a concert before approaching to tell them to give her money.

11. Fire in the hole!

Laughing at my friend in high school who stuffed her bra with tissue and then dropped a cigarette down her cleavage and she thought the tissue was going to catch on fire and dumped a beer on herself. I refused to stuff my bra and she said I was chicken, this was her karma. I felt bad when her parents smelled the beer and grounded her for drinking though.

12. YES!

Leaving my abusive ex.

13. Hey, it’s your wedding!

Not inviting my needy aunt to go wedding dress shopping with me. She’s begged me already and has been dropping hints for months, but I’m not budging.

This is the one time in my life that something really is only about me, and I’m not going to deal with her drama that day.

14. RIP Fido *sniff*

Creating a small “pet cemetery” in our parents’ back yard, despite my father forbidding it.

It felt like the right thing to do – no regrets.

15. Plums!

Eating the plums from the icebox.

They were delicious.

So sweet, and so cold.

16. Tips ARE NOT mandatory…

I’m normally a big tipper as I worked in the industry a long time but last week I left zero tip for my server that did a horrible job.

17. Don’t be a dick to the customers, please!

When we were in high school, my friends and I would always go to the same diner.

About 85% of the time we’d get sat with this awful woman who’d treat us like shit. She’d smile and be polite with grown ups, but the smile would disappear the second she got to us. She’d leave our food on the counter for 5-10 minutes while she talked to other tables, never refill a single drink, and roll her eyes if you asked for anything.

The first few times I just figured she wasn’t trying because she thought teenagers would tip like shit, so I tipped her really well. But the shitty service continued, and eventually I just tipped her $0.

Only time I’ve ever done that, but she really earned that $0.

18. Sometimes, this is necessary.

Telling the parents of a special needs child (think similar to Down’s Syndrome) that their daughter was struggling a lot with normal schooling (even with her IEP and own lesson plans) and she would be better off in a special needs school sooner rather than later.

They said to be honest with them and I was.

Sorry, not sorry!

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