Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner in Front of Your Kids

It’s good for children to hear their parents debate, split up chores, make compromises, and even argue, as long as it’s done with respect and apologies are also made public later on.

That said, a stable home and a solid partnership between parents is important to children’s development and emotional well-being, so here are 5 things you should never, ever say unless you’re in private.

5. My body is ____.

Image Credit: Pexels

Even if you feel uncomfortable or have gained a few pounds, making comments about your weight can have a negative effect on your child’s self-image.

Don’t talk about being “fat” or “skinny,” but it’s ok to say things about making healthy and good choices most of the time.

Your kids are always watching and listening, and they will internalize the messages you post about yourself.

4. You’re too sensitive.

Image Credit: Pexels

We’re never allowed to tell other people how they can feel.

Saying something like this invalidates the other person’s feelings and tells them they’re wrong to feel upset.

3. You never do anything around here.

Image Credit: Pexels

Work-life balance, and the unpaid labor we all have to do at home, is a sensitive topic.

In front of your kids, though, you should always strive to acknowledge how each partner contributes in different ways – even if the same person always makes dinner or takes out the trash.

2. I don’t care.

Image Credit: Pexels

If your partner is asking for your opinion, there are better and more polite ways to say you’re indifferent rather than saying “I don’t care.”

Try to give at least a little feedback.

1. Look what you did.

Image Credit: Pexels

This phrase makes the mistake into a big deal, which is rude and disheartening to the person who made it. Instead, you can try focusing on a) how the mistake can be fixed, and b) what we can learn from it for the future.

I’d like to think most of us didn’t need to be told, but you never know!

How careful are you about keeping things behind close doors? Tell us how you handle marital conflict in the comments!

The post Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner in Front of Your Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

Great Facts That We Think Will Impress You

It can be hard to sort through the endless information out there on social media and the Internet.

Where’s the good stuff? The interesting stuff? Heck, where’s the REAL stuff?

Well, look no further, because we consistently bring you great fact sets that will pique your curiosity and, most importantly, IMPRESS YOU.

Hey, it’s what we do!

Here are 10 more facts that we know will impress you.

Enjoy and feel free to share these with your friends and family!

1. That’s pretty wild!

All from the “mother tree”.

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2. I think we might need to bring these back…

For kids and adults! We all need to lose weight!

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3. Keep this in mind.

A lot of psychos out there.

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4. She ruled as a king.

What a life story.

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5. More than friends?

It sure seems like it…

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6. Yikes. That looks horrible.

No wood in there.

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7. Which type are you?

I think I might be the Hemingway.

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8. Watch it in slow-motion.

It’s always fun!

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9. The Sea Peoples.

Who were they?

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10. The Angel’s Glow.

It saved their lives.

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Now we want to hear from you!

Have you seen anything online lately that has really impressed you?

Facts? Stories? Charts? Great photos?

Please share them with us in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!

The post Great Facts That We Think Will Impress You appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Interesting Facts for You to Enjoy Today

We all need a break…a FACT break, that is!

And we think we have some damn good ones lined up for you to look at that will make you think about the world in a new and interesting way.

Hey, it’s what we do…and we LOVE doing it!

So dive into this set of facts and feel free to share it with your family and friends.

Enjoy!

1. That is horrifying.

Can you imagine these creatures roaming around?

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2. A true story.

And a tragic one.

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3. That should get them to talk.

Let’s start from the beginning…

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4. That’s kind of crazy to think about.

Did you know about this?

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5. Mayday! Mayday!

Make sure you use it the correct way.

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6. Women are survivors.

And they always have been.

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7. I wish they lived to be 80…

But, such is life…

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8. I love this idea!

Let’s bring it over here!

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9. Stop and smell the roses.

It’s good for you.

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10. And they never forgot this…

They’re still kind of worshipped, aren’t they?

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How about you?

Have you seen any facts or interesting stories lately that have really caught your eye?

Share them with us in the comments.

Please and thank you!

The post 10 Interesting Facts for You to Enjoy Today appeared first on UberFacts.

Fascinating Facts That’ll Make You Think

Ready to put your thinking cap on?

I know I sure am!

In that case, we’re happy to present you with another set of great facts that will stimulate your brain and make you ponder all kinds of facets of life.

What else could you ask for, really?!?!

Are you ready to get your learnin’ on?

Let’s do it together!

1. Let’s see how rich you are…

Let me see your pineapple, sir.

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2. It happens to even the most famous people.

All throughout history…

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3. This makes a lot of sense.

Kids need their fathers.

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4. Monkeys using money.

They’re pretty sharp, aren’t they?

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5. Well, that’s a relief.

Forgetfulness is okay!

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6. Mind your business.

He was a smart man.

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7. This guy! Right here!

I’m very thankful for this invention.

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8. Is this obscene?

No, but this is hilarious.

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9. I did not know that!

Very interesting stuff!

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10. An offer he couldn’t refuse.

That sounds like a very loud cat!

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Now we want to hear from you.

Have you seen any really interesting facts or articles lately?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

The post Fascinating Facts That’ll Make You Think appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Best and Worst Advice They Got From Therapists

Therapists are paid to give us advice and help us out.

Hopefully, that advice is good and it improves our lives, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

Hey, they’re only human, too, so I guess sometimes they just get sidetracked and dish out bad advice on occasion, as well.

Want to hear some good AND bad advice that people received from their therapists?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. That’s reassuring.

“My psychologist told me as a 16 year old that I will never recover and that I should prepare for a struggling life.”

2. Good enough.

“I was in hospital after having had a suspected miscarriage of a very much wanted child. The hospital knew about my mental health history so they wouldn’t release me without having spoken to a psychiatrist.

It was Sunday morning so the dude wasn’t on site, so I’m lying in a hospital bed and they bring in a phone and the psych is on the other end. I say hello and he says “so I’ve heard you had a miscarriage”.

Me – “well that’s what they think, it’s not certain yet but…”

Psych – “So are you going to kill yourself if we send you home?”

I was like, what the fuck? No empathy or “how are you feeling about this” or “do you have loved ones at home”. Just, like, let us know if you’re killing yourself or not.

I said “I’m not sure. Probably not”.

Apparently that was good enough and they sent me home an hour later.”

3. That’ll fix it!

“I had a religious therapist once tell me I just needed more water to solve my depression.

She concluded this by having me hold out my arms and she tested the strength of each one by pushing down on it and I had to resist against it.

Looking back I should have told her it was BS but I was so caught off guard i was just like, well ok I’ll have some more water.”

4. A pivotal moment.

“I had a psychologist that I was only occasionally seeing at the start of my mental health decline (not his doing, but the help I needed then was more then the once a week meetings could fix).

He had such patience with me and my fear of never getting “over” my anxiety and depression.

He looked at me on our 3rd session and told me straightforward “what if you don’t get better? What if you have this all your life? Why not try to work with it and learn to manage rather than fight it?”

And that really was a pivotal moment on self acceptance for what was going on with me, that this isn’t going to go away like I want it too.

It caught me by surprise, because I was so angry at myself for being depressed, I didn’t think to just accept it.

I’ve been through different programs, doctors and hospitals since, but his words really stuck with me.”

5. Can’t help you.

“”There’s nothing I can do for you. Your problems are untreatable.”

I was 11. The honesty is now appreciated, but at the time it was so traumatic that I repressed the memory of hearing that and acted out so horribly that Toronto health care people have seen me as The Enemy ever since then.”

6. Great…

“I had a Psychologist lean in sort of conspiratorially and ask if I was a spiritual person.

I replied yes and she proceeded to tell me that upon hearing the traumas I’d been through she wanted me to know that I was probably from a cursed bloodline and that I could talk to people from her church about it if I wanted to find out more about it.”

7. Don’t cry.

“I went to a psychologist for a little while for my anxiety and it was clear he wasn’t right for me (much, much older than I was, never let me speak, always changed topics, etc) so I was planning on finding a different person to talk to.

But the kicker was went I was talking about my mother and started crying. To preface, he was big on rationality and staying rational (which is an understandable thing if you’re trying to help with anxiety but he did it in all the wrong ways).

I started crying, and this grown ass man looked at me and said something I will never forget with utmost seriousness.

“Don’t cry. Crying is an irrational response.”

Went through the rest of the session feeling like shit and never went back.”

8. You’re right!

“I had explained to my psychologist how I felt really bad about not wanting to go out on another date with this guy. Felt really bad, guilty, everything.

He looked at me and said ” Well why dont you fucking marry him?”. I just sat open eyed and then laughed, and said “wow, your right…” and never thought about that again. So now, whenever i feel bad about something inconsequential or little I think back to his words haha.

My psychologist was amazing though and I always valued his bluntness as that was usually the best way to get through to me.”

9. Family counseling.

“My mom got family counseling with me (her son) and her and after she had her ten minutes alone with the counselor she called me in for my ten and she told me something I’ll never forget “ya just go live with your dad”(parents were divorced) and so I did and I haven’t had a problem since.”

10. You can leave.

“I was depressed as all hell my first semester of college, and told my therapist about wanting to injure myself or half-ass a suicide attempt so people would take me seriously when I told them I was caving under pressure.

Described the all-nighters, 70+ hours of studio work, cutthroat competition, pressure to perform, vindictive professors. Lamented that this was “the thing to do” after high school and I had to stay on track.

She told me I could leave.

That had never occurred to me. I packed some essentials and drove home that night. I checked into a mental health facility just past midnight.”

11. A wakeup call.

“I had an eating disorder that I lied to myself about and considered just ‘disordered eating’.

Anyway, the self delusion ran deep. I also believed my therapist was an eating disorder specialist. When I moved from the city I was living in, to the city I’m in now, we were wrapping up our final session and when I asked what she used as my diagnostic code, she told me she was treating me for an eating disorder.

I was shocked; but I said I knew she was an eating disorder specialist. She then told me she’s not, she’s a drug and family therapist. Long story short, i was totally deluded and had my entirely own narrative.”

12. Not cool.

“I had a therapist call me an underachiever.

As he sat and talked about all the great things his son of the same age had done. Which was not really much of anything. What a Dick, that shit sticks with you.

I need freaking therapy for going in talking to a therapist.”

13. No longer blind.

“I was 27 before it was brought to my attention that I have debilitating self loathing and I dont like myself.

Legit, I was totally blind to it.”

14. The last straw.

“A psychologist I visited briefly (to treat anxiety and depression) began telling me really personal details about other clients and their sessions.

And not vague stuff, more like “he was hearing voices and the voices said they wanted him to kill me [psychologist] and that was extra scary because he is the owner of [local NFL team]!! Isn’t that scary??” Or “she was addicted to cocaine and cheating on her husband, who is the owner of [local mall chain].”

I grew increasingly uncomfortable with these personal anecdotes, and they began to take up larger and larger chunks of our sessions. By the end there, I would have to interrupt her to redirect her back to MY issues. I was paying her to help me address them, after all.

The last straw was when she left the office for over 15 minutes to go eat lunch, then charged me for a full session.

I confronted her, saying I didn’t want to hear these private and confidential stories anymore, and that I would prefer to stay focused on my issues during our sessions, as I was hoping she could teach me how to work through them (crazy, right?)

She immediately raised her voice at me and tried to tell me I was imagining the whole thing and having some sort of delusion (an issue I’ve never been diagnosed with or struggled with).

Then she backpedaled and tried to say that all those stories had been from HER imagination, meant to benefit me. I pointed out the contradiction and expressed that I didn’t want to spend large chunks of our sessions talking about people in her personal life, imaginary or otherwise.

That’s when she cracked up and told me that I wasn’t “worthy” of someone with her talents, and could never hope to achieve mental health.

I walked out and haven’t been back to therapy since. Got into a supportive community, and they helped me heal, WITHOUT gaslighting me or breaking confidentiality.”

15. Surreal.

“I tried to see a therapist for some light-to-moderate incest-based trauma, and chose the wrongest shrink.

I didn’t exactly do my research: I picked the closest therapist to my office, that my insurance covered; it was billed as generic family therapy – “Perfect, I thought!” And booked an appointment for immediately after work.

When I walked up to the front door, I noticed that it said “Christian Marriage and Family Therapy”. I was immediately uncomfortable, but I was trying to be more open-minded towards those with a religious bent, and figured that as long as they could do their job; their religion was no concern of mine!

I explained to the gent, manning the desk that I wanted to talk about some mildly disturbing experiences, and I wasn’t religious, or even aware that I had booked an appointment at a religious clinic. He was very kind and explained that he helped all sorts of people, and had heard it all. Then he lead me to the therapy office, which consisted of a very large chair, a tiny rickety footstool, and wall-to-wall racks of tapes. I told him about a traumatic experience that had happened days previously, and his reaction shocked me. My therapist:

cried; he at me through watery eyes and said “I don’t know what to say…”

tried to convince me that I wanted to have kids some day and that only him resolving my trauma would help me be the best mother I could be. I still don’t want kids, so that was confusing

Expressed a relentless interest in trying past-life regression and/or hypnotherapy. I point-blank asked him: “wasn’t that proven to be ineffective in the 70’s?” And he assured me that he had been a part of a lot experiments and tests in the 70’s; and this was the real deal!

the last thing he said to me, after I told him I didn’t want to have another appointment, was to rub his hands together and say “Wouldn’t it be great to get into that head of yours; like a steel-trap!”

To date, this was one of the most surreal things that has ever happened to me.”

How about you?

What’s the best or worst thing you’ve ever heard from a therapist?

Talk to us in the comments, please!

The post People Share the Best and Worst Advice They Got From Therapists appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Advice They’ve Heard From Their Therapists

Even if you don’t think you necessarily need any therapy, you should go at least a couple of times to give it a shot.

You never know what advice could potentially give you a new outlook on life…

But that doesn’t mean it’ll all be good. Not by a longshot. Therapists dish out all kinds of advice and it runs the spectrum from great to awful.

Let’s dig into these answers from AskReddit users.

1. Are you awake yet?

“When I was in first or second grade, the school counselor fell asleep when I was describing a bullying situation that I was in.

I was so young that I didn’t know how to respond, so I just sat there in his office until he woke up.”

2. That was helpful!

“Was talking to my school counselor about some mental health issues and told him that I like playing card games to take my mind off of it.

The man literally opens his cabinet and pulls out a briefcase full of Yugioh cards (I’m a massive nerd) and says “Sooooooo….. wanna play” ?

Don’t get me wrong but this guy had a lumberjack beard, was fit and looked more like a athlete than a counselor so I was shocked. Got over my problems and played every Wednesday against him!”

3. Can we talk about me?

“I paid and sat through an entire session of therapy during which my therapist ranted as to how great of a career he could have had as a stand up comedian and how much he regrets his current profession.

I kinda agreed with him near the end.”

4. Got it all figured out.

“I had a therapist tell me when I was a teenager that she didn’t know what else to do to help me because it seemed like I already understood everything pretty well.

This was after my overbearing and crazy helicopter mom dragged me in for being depressed. Then she switched to therapy-ing my mom and my mom quickly was in tears because she has the emotional strength of a child and wanted it to be about me when it was actually all about her.

I knew exactly why I was depressed. I was stuck by myself in the middle of nowhere with her crazy ass. No personal space, no ability to get away, not being able to say no, her getting jealous of my friends when I spent time with them. It would make anyone depressed.

She didn’t even let me sit with the therapist by myself.”

5. Go to the ER!

“My therapist once abruptly ended our session after telling me I needed to go to the ER.

I had been in a car accident the day before and had an undiagnosed concussion that was pretty bad. I was so out of it I didn’t even realize I was out of it.

He later told me I was talking about inappropriate topics (I was so embarrassed I didn’t ask what I specifically talked about–i didn’t want to know at that point) and wasn’t making much sense.

I’m just glad he recognized I was off that day and helped me get to the hospital.”

6. Uhhhhh, weird.

“First time I saw a counselor, he was looking over my paperwork and said he could tell from my handwriting the I was good in bed. I kid you not.

I was so caught off guard all I could say was “uh, I think I am.”

So young and not assertive at all. Found out he got in trouble for an inappropriate relationship with a client.

But it really screwed me up for a bit him saying that because I have problems setting boundaries with men.”

7. Good advice.

“She said, “You don’t HAVE to forgive someone, especially when they were so cruel and are not sorry.”

Shocked the hell out of me as every therapist before that tried to get me to forgive, but I can’t.

I live with it and I don’t think forgiving them would bring me any kind of peace.”

8. End on a high note.

“My therapist and I would end every appointment with a discussion of the latest Game of Thrones while it was airing, a great way to end things.

Even the shitty end of the show got plenty of lighthearted ribbing. It was great bc it wasn’t too personal and after talking about sex abuse for an hour I could leave without being such a sad sack.”

9. Sibling rivalry.

“I was in my second ever session, which coincidentally was right after my nans funeral.

I was talking about some stuff that had happened with my sister (who I had already said was probably my biggest issue) and he asked ‘why is this person in your life?

Why do you want to continue a relationship that hurts you so much? Do you actually want this relationship?’

I was floored. It had never occurred to me that my sister didn’t get a place in my life by default because family. I cant tell you how much this improved my life.”

10. PTSD.

“I’ll never forget my first day of therapy.

My therapist asked me if I had ever been abused as a child. I replied, “No, I had a normal childhood. I had everything I needed- food, shelter… I mean, my mother slapped me and would tell me to kill myself, and my dad would drag me by the hair everywhere and pull my hair out… but no, nothing abusive or anything.”

There was at least 30 seconds of dead air between us as I watched her blink while trying to figure out how to respond to what I said.

Eventually she put down her file, crossed her legs and said, “My dear, that IS abuse.” My world came crashing down all around me at that moment.

For so many years I had buried my feelings about what they’d done so deeply that I’d managed to convince myself that what they’d done wasn’t wrong.

Less than a year later I was diagnosed with PTSD and panic disorder from the trauma, and I cut off all communication with my parents.”

11. Me, too!

“My most recent therapist experience lasted for 2 sessions only. Both times, every time I’d discuss an issue i was having, my therapist would say, “OMG me too!”

Like, I’m here for you help me. If you’re just gonna say that I can have this conversation on my own.

The last session the therapist said, “if we met outside of this scenario we’d be really good friends.”

That was it for me.”

12. True, but…

“During my first and only session with a particularly memorable child psychologist, he referred to me as a “miserable bitch”.

It was true, but he didn’t have to call me out like that.”

13. A good tip.

“Had a therapist tell me to make a fuck budget. Hear me out lol!

He said you only have so many fucks to give before you blow, so just like with money you need to budget it out, start with things you have to give a fuck about, kids, work, health and then cross the things you dislike giving a fuck about, like people’s opinion of what you wear, off the list and don’t give a fuck about that shit!

This was an older gentleman who was cool but for the most part very well spoken and didn’t cuss. Hearing him say I needed to stop spreading my fucks so far made me die of laughter and immediately feel better.

To this day I still have a fuck budget that I do every month religiously and it has taken so much stress off my shoulders.”

14. Gee, thanks a lot.

“When I was in high school I was hospitalized for being suicidal.

My doctor there told me some really brilliant advice that totally cleared things up for me, basically just fixing me on the spot:

“You just have to be a normal boy”.

Lol.”

15. You’re too happy!

“I had been suicidal every day for over a year.

When I was 14/15 I started seeing my first therapist. After a few sessions she told me I was “too happy” to be in therapy and kicked me out. And it messed me up a lot lol.”

16. This is bad.

“Went to a psychologist when I was probably 13, I had depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder and they often manifested in bad panic attacks and anger.

After seeing him a few times and telling him everything, he brought my parents into the room and proceeded to tell them that I was fine, I was just angry at my parents and seeking attention. I tried protesting and explaining myself but he refused to listen and tried arguing with me.

Needless to say, I never went back there and my parents took me to a new psychologist. It definitely fucked me up a lot, and even thinking about it makes me angry.”

Have you ever had a particularly interesting session with a therapist?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

The post People Talk About the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Advice They’ve Heard From Their Therapists appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Quality Facts That May Teach You Something

Surprises are great!

And our amazing fact sets are always full of them, so be sure to read through a bunch of other ones that we have on our site.

Are you ready to learn some new facts that we’re pretty sure you didn’t know before?

Let’s take a look!

1. They will really wear you down.

Lay off of those things!

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2. Makes sense to me!

To heck with the cold weather.

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3. Get it on!

And make it good! It’ll be beneficial for everyone involved!

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4. Does this sound familiar?

I feel like I’m here this a lot lately…

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5. No proof…yet…

But maybe someday…

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6. That’s pretty crazy.

Here’s to new discoveries!

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7. At greater risk.

They go hand in hand.

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8. Casualties of war.

Sounds like a terrible way to die.

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9. This is awesome!

These folks were real badasses.

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10. Suffering from OCD.

What a strange life he had.

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Some great facts in there, no doubt about it!

Now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please share something interesting that has surprised you lately.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Enjoy These Quality Facts That May Teach You Something appeared first on UberFacts.

This Is How Dollar Stores Actually End Up Making Money

Shopping at dollar stores is awesome. You need something cheap, you run in, you grab it and you’re on your way home, with tons of money still in your pocket.

But have you ever looked around at all those $1 price tags and wondered how this place even stays in business? They don’t ever seem to raise their prices to keep up with inflation like other businesses do — what gives?

The answer is actually surprisingly interesting. You see, dollar stores aren’t actually the best places to score deals on household items. This is because it’s almost always cheaper to buy something in a large quantity or supply, like what you’re able to find at Sam’s Club or Costco.

Though dollar store prices may seem cheap, that’s because you’re only getting a tiny amount or quantity of a product. The stores capitalize on this higher per-unit cost.

This becomes even more confusing to suss out when a small amount or quantity of a product is sold in the same size box or container as that of a large quantity.

A 15-foot tube of aluminum foil sold at a dollar store comes packaged in the same size box as a 75-foot roll.

All of this makes the dollar store strategy feel kind of icky.

Why?

Because some people can only afford to buy tiny quantities of things at a time. If you’re poor or just barely making ends meet, you may have to buy just a few rolls of toilet paper at a time because you can’t afford to spend $25 on a jumbo pack at Sam’s Club, even though that jumbo pack is cheaper when you break down the cost per roll.

What’s your favorite way to save money while shopping for groceries or household items?

We’d love to hear from you! Let us know in the comments!

The post This Is How Dollar Stores Actually End Up Making Money appeared first on UberFacts.

Great Facts That Will Arouse Your Curiosity

It’s important to be curious about our planet and to always want to learn more about this special place that we inhabit.

That’s why I like to call myself a “lifelong learner.”

And I think it’s something that we should all strive for! Don’t you?

Let’s keep the train a-rollin’ with another great set of facts that will make you think and will definitely arouse your curiosity.

Enjoy!

1. Let’s bring it over here!

I love a good nap!

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2. A sign of wealth.

We need to make this happen again.

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3. Does this describe you?

Let’s be friends, okay?

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4. They don’t work.

And they never will.

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5. Can’t do both.

She was a wild child.

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6. Public Enemy Number One.

He was a true gangster.

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7. Across the universe.

That’s pretty wild.

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8. This is amazing.

“The ones who help humans.”

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9. I sure hope so…

This is good news!

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10. That makes me sad.

I hope they don’t have too many problems…

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In the comments, please share an interesting fact or a fascinating article or story that you’ve seen lately.

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People Who Have Been in Relationships With Sociopaths Dish on What It Was Like

I’m not sure someone wakes up one day and thinks they’d like to date someone who will probably never be able to genuinely return their affections, but hey – you never know what you’re going to end up with when you swipe right, you know?

If you’re curious what it’s like to date someone with an antisocial personality disorder, well…these 16 folks are giving up the goods.

16. Be very, very careful.

There wasn’t any diagnosis, but I was casually with a guy who was sending up some pretty serious red flags, and it suddenly clicked that he was a sociopath. No empathy. Would absolutely lie to people’s faces. Huge plans that went nowhere. Nothing was ever his fault. Rules were for other people. When I drifted away from him or hung out with someone else, he would start putting lots of effort in again. And of course there was the cheating, lying, etc etc.

Luckily for me, I had recognized it early, and I realized I needed to be carful about how I went about detaching myself from him. So here is what I did, and hopefully it can help someone: I never actually broke things off with him or told him we were done. Obviously this only works if you’re casual, but maybe some variation could work. So an example would be that when he asked me for something, I knew he wanted it right then. So whenever he contacted me to ask for something I’d say “sure, that sounds great! I get off of work in 3 hours and I’ll come right over with (whatever he wanted) after that!” He’d say no, never mind. I’d act like I was disappointed about it, so he thought he had successfully ‘punished’ me. He thought I was still on the hook. I’d do this over and over until he stopped thinking of me as someone he could get things from. It took a while and a lot of acting upset when he would berate me or snap at me (I specifically remember sitting in his room while he yelled at me about where I put my purse down thinking “okay remember Vi, this is very upsetting. Look sad…”) but it did work without him going to any extremes. And we lived in the same building, so it was hard to just avoid him altogether.

Obviously your mileage may vary.

15. Like a light switch flipped. Chills.

I had a friend who married one. He changed 100% the night they got married. He went from a nice normal guy to super cold. He moved her out of state, got her pregnant, and had 2 other families on the side… she finally got out of it. Fucked her up for a long time

14. Remember you’re not the crazy one.

Yerp. By far the hardest experience of my life. Was with him for nearly a year, 6 years ago. Still working on recovery today. Tried to seperate me from my friends and family, made me feel responsible for him emotionally and financially. One of the first things he did after about a week of dating was convince me to pay for his $400 phone bill so he could have his phone switched back on and stay in contact with me. That was only the beginning. I lost all self worth, by the end I felt completely crazy. It’s insane what prolonged exposure to gaslighting will do to a person. I ended up dropping out of uni because he would sabotage me at every turn. I’ll never forget when I was working on a major project and he would keep walking past me calling me a fucking bitch and spitting on my piece. I was the only one working, and supporting two people on a shit hospitality wage is hard enough, then add in about a $300 a week weed addiction. If he didn’t have it, he would lose his shit, throw things, smash things etc. it was safer for me to keep him high, and in turn I smoked a shit load to escape the reality of the situation. I finally got out when I found that he had had prostitutes in the house (and in my bed). I finally opened up to my friends what had been happening and they got me out of there. It was fucked up, but I try to see it in a positive light. I’ve learnt and gained massive self esteem since this happened, and I find I can easily detect sociopathic and narcissistic personalities not people now. I still get super triggered by things, especially males yelling or showing aggression. I still get annoyed at myself for breaking down in these situations, but each time it happens I feel myself heal just that little bit. I see it as a wound reopening, but then the scar tissue builds up, making me stronger each time. Sorry for such a long rant, seeing this question hit me and feels good to get a bit of the stuff off my chest.

13. That makes it hard to get out.

A friend of mine dated a diagnosed sociopath, and she said it was frustrating because there wasn’t any logic behind her attraction to him. She realized he was not good to her, but she couldn’t stop going back to him. She described him as both the best and worst thing in her life when she was with him

12. Sometimes you don’t know until it’s over.

I don’t imagine that it’s common for sociopaths to get diagnosed as such. They tend to live in denial. They don’t think they have issues worth exploring.

Yes, I dated one, and it was the most traumatic experience of my life. By the time it was over (multiple years), I had no idea who he was. That’s what it’s like.

11. How on earth do you even date someone who talks about hurting animals?

He was a classic, into animal torture and stuff like that.

The way he got to talk endlessly about animal torture was by pretending he felt bad for it and looking for sympathy. “I can’t believe I did [x] and [y], I feel so bad” – he kept mentioning it so much. He thought it was funny when me or the baby had pain. At one point he told me that it was so long ago, that by now I should also think it was funny that he had gotten my blood and pieces of my flesh on him.

He said that me having empathy was proof that I was mentally ill, because “empathy doesn’t exist. You just learn in your teens that there’s consequences for being bad to other people”

He also said that “nobody cares about women. They’re like steak in the supermarket” and that when he saw a woman in the streets, he thought about raping them.

He is incredibly charismatic and the police said that I made a false report. He is still harassing me through the legal system.

10. The kids surely know they’re better off.

I didn’t graduate but I studied psychology and this is exactly right. Very few sociopaths are ever officially diagnosed.

I was married to someone who I believe was a sociopath. My kids and I deal with PTSD (which I WAS diagnosed with) but are luckily finally away from it. It’s a fucking nightmare. We were together for 14 years and other than my kids, I lost everything. I didn’t fight as hard as I should have for more in the divorce because I just wanted it to be over with and to deal with him as little as possible. The best thing he ever did for our kids was remarry quickly and tell me he wanted nothing to do with them as long as they were with me.

9. Oh hell no you do not touch my dog.

My ex was never diagnosed formally, but often told me he was probably a sociopath. I think the charismatic tendencies is what really gets to me the most. I thought I was so special because he was so confident in himself. He could do no wrong, he always said everything with such confidence you felt stupid to question it. I was young and he was the first person to show interest in me that I thought was also really smart.

He killed animals too. Would often tell me about how he wanted to kill every species at least once. Fantasized about being able to kill someone. Beat my parents dog for months because he left food on the counter (which we said not to because the dog eats it) and when I threatened to break up with him if he didn’t stop beating the dog, he looked at the dog coldly and said, “If you break up with me over that stupid dog I’ll kill him,”.

I was so scared, so miserable. He isolated me away from all of my friends and family. Yet we would be able to see his friends and family. If I spoke about something, I would get yelled at on the way home. I would lock myself in the bedroom to avoid him yelling at me… but he would break lock just to yell at me more. Everytime I tried to break up with him it was, “I’ll kill myself,”, “I’ll kill the dog,”, “you’ll never be able to find someone as good as me,”, “I’ll spend every last dime you have,”.

Cheated on me constantly. Blamed me for cheating. Was just so obsessed with himself. Turned into an entirely different person sexually, after a few years of us dating. He went from being dominating (which I liked) into actually wanting me to peg him, humiliate him, etc. I once role played about someone breaking in and tying him to the chair and forcing him to watch someone rape me. And he could. Not. Stop. Thinking about it. Everytime we did anything intimate it would turn into that.

He tried to convince me to let someone else fuck me in from of him- but I ultimately bailed out because I felt it was so wrong…. so he screamed at me in a bar because “any girl would be lucky to have their boyfriend say it’s okay to sleep with someone else,”

No. He had to pick out the person. He picked out what I would ware. How I would do my make up. What we ate. Everything. It came to a point where I threatened to break up enough where he finally found it hilarious and said “oh yeah? Think you can do it on your own? Then do it,” quit he job and stopped paying rent while still living under my roof for months. Drained my savings completely.

It’s been about 2 years since I was finally free and I still have dreams of him refusing to leave. I luckily have a gun in these dreams and I shoot the son of a bitch… and I stopped dreaming for awhile, but now he’s back in my brain, haunting me yet again.

8. Cheating seems to be a common thread.

Traumatic. I’m in therapy, but I’m scared of people now. I don’t know if I want to get married or have kids.

I beat myself up for it because there were SO MANY SIGNS he was a sociopath. But I still wanted him. Even after a few years we first broke up.

I ended up catching herpes.

He never cared about me and only cared about himself. He used me. I get really mad at myself when I think about it.

Even typing this out my anxiety is slightly hitting me.

I learned that I was in love with the idea of being in love and that my self-esteem was so low.

It’s probably going to be a long time before I trust people again. One of my biggest fears is falling into that again. Even worse, not leaving.

I’m thankful that I have family and friends so that helps me. I don’t feel alone. I feel love all the time.

7. They like to isolate their victims.

My ex from college was also never officially diagnosed but admitted to me the last time we ever saw each other he thought he might be and a relative who is capable of making such a diagnosis said his behavior sounds just like it.

It started out normal, he never seemed violent and never really got physical but he seemed to enjoy playing with people. On many occasions he would offhandedly mention in a bragging way how he used to hurt people violently as a child (paired with stories of smashing large objects into kids head or even pushing another boy off the top of some closed bleachers and breaking his arm) but he had since mastered how to break people with words. He lied to everyone constantly about everything. I have no idea who he was because as the relationship came to a close it became clear every character trait he had was carefully crafted to appeal to others. He lied about his job, finishing college, things he had done. He also lied about the most random things or just, hiding information like being extremely allergic to soy for years because he “didn’t want others to know his weaknesses”. He told me a fake middle name.

He also isolated me from all my friends and family by just, always spending time with me to the point of it being borderline stalkerish. By then though I was in too deep and didn’t have a support network and couldn’t get him to leave me alone. I would try to break up with him and he would tell me no, refuse to leave my dorm (he kept getting in despite not having a key) and sit outside my work to the point where I didn’t get my contract renewed (well, I’m not sure but I think it was a factor). It didn’t help he would have periods of being the kindest person ever, often before disappearing for long periods of time.

I had an epiphany last week about his cycle. He would set up a date, not show, ghost me for days and later weeks (and at one point two months) and use his health problems and bad family situation to make me crazy anxious all of the time, never knowing when he would next cut me off. The only time I didn’t feel anxious was when I was him like how some drug addicts keep using not because they want to but because of how bad they feel if they don’t. Isolate, manipulate, force dependency. And he was had such a great persona that when I did reach out to people they would tell me to stay.

It finally ended after two and a half years when he told me he fantasized about the many ways he would murder me because I wasn’t his I wouldn’t be anybody’s. I did better in school, work, and health than I had in years and got off all my meds because it turns out I didn’t have depression and anxiety I just had this toxic tumor of a person leaching my life away.

6. Gaslighting 101.

I was a married to one. It was traumatizing. We had a child and he cheated while I was pregnant with a woman I specifically said “I don’t trust her, please avoid being alone with her” when she joined my group. (Other friends basically invited her in). He was verbally and mentally abusive. He told me no one would want me because I was a young single mom so I may as well come home and just let him cheat with whoever he felt like cheating with. I moved across the country to escape his insanity.

The best way I learned to deal with him is to ignore him and not give a shit. It messed with his ego big time. He really doesn’t know how to deal with someone who actually gives zero shots about him. He would try to tell me about whatever was going on in his life and I’d say “Why are you telling me this? I don’t care. Don’t speak to me unless it’s about our son.”

He kidnapped my child during a visit. Because our divorce was final in our home state, nothing could be done. It took me two years of fighting to win full sole custody of my son who is now grown and doesn’t have much to do with his dad.

There is of course a lot more to the story. Psychological warfare and such. He tried to make me think I was going crazy when I started to become suspicious. He tried to torture me for 18 years. I haven’t spoken to him in 5 years and I feel free. He has been told if he so much as tries to speak to me at events for my son (Graduation, college graduation, military basic training graduation) that I will walk away. I have nothing to say to the man and he has nothing to say to me. My son learned on his own what type of person his dad is and is remarkably well adjusted and full of empathy.

5. His mother tried to warn her.

Yes. He admitted his diagnosis proudly. At least to me. He was very troubled. I was only with him 8 months. But those 8 months were the worst of my life. He seemed happy to discover i didn’t have stable housing. Asked if id like to move in. I said no. So he started causing problems with the people i was crashing with. I didn’t realize this til later that he was the one that got me kicked out.

Once i had no choice but to stay with him, hotels or the streets. He laughed and said hes breaking his lease. Maybe if i did what he said faster, id be able to stay. But that i could sleep in his basement. He would do weird shit like that. Making me wait outside of bars, his job, his friends houses was a big thing hed make me do. Especially if the weather was poor.

When he drank it was even worse. Id sleep in the bathroom if he was on liquor to get away from him. If i didn’t, hed strangle me when he blacked out. Hes wanted for killing a girl in another country now. No clue where he is but ill randomly get contacted by him. Its been years but he still contacts me. All he says is “i love you”. Once he got into my email and changed my name to “i love you”. I know 100% its him.

Ive seen and been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life. It is what it is. But that man takes the fucking cake for the most awful experience in my entire life. There are people i meet or see on tv that have the same exact look in their eyes or voice pattern as him, despite looking nothing like him. I avoid those people like the plague or grande to turn the tv off. Its like they over enunciate certain points of words yet have a monotone voice. The letter t especially. Like they’re parroting a human. Not actually one

One thing he always did was watch you tube videos and practice in the mirror on how to look happy, sad, concerned. It was insane. Everyone thought he was the greatest guy on earth. His mother tried to warm me that he’d kill me. Fucked up.

4. Hopefully that’s far enough.

Was married to one for 4 years. Definitely would not repeat. The level of delusion is unreal– and trying to get him to understand someone else’s pain, trying to get him to see how his actions were fucked up– was like trying to force a colorblind person to differentiate red and green. His vast lack of empathy was unyielding. Not even his therapist could make progress, and requested to meet with me for help in getting through to him. He truly lives in a fictional world where he can do no wrong, and it’s fucking terrifying. I moved a thousand miles away first chance I got.

3. Everything was a lie.

Yes, I dated a narcissistic sociopath. It was terrible, and left permanent scars. It took time but I realize now that everything was a lie. Well, his name was correct – but what he thought, felt, did, his plans and his history – I know none of those things. He is a complete stranger and I never knew him at all.

I’m doing fine now, although once in a while I stop and shake my head because I feel so goddam dumb.

2. When his mask started to slip.

my first boyfriend told me on our first date that he was a sociopath and “i don’t feel anything but i sure know i like you” and because i was sixteen and naïve i completely fell for it. Cue being manipulated into sex, telling him i struggled with my relationship with food and body image only to be told i was “flabby” afterwards, and all the exhausting mind games. Even through all of that and more, i still utterly adored him and repressed all of my instinctual feelings that were telling me to leave, something i still feel dumb about. I honestly think i was just a toy for him to manipulate and hurt, something he made sure to tell me about after our relationship ended. The way his face would change from “loving” to like someone i didn’t know was kind of terrifying really. it all fucked me up pretty badly and i still find it hard to trust people

1. Nothing was real.

Fren, are you me? Quite literally EVERYTHING I knew about my ex was bogus. Even down to his birthday; which he blamed on an error at the DMV, which is inaccurate because they have you check your license before you leave (at least in our state).

Isolated me from my friends and family, yet we saw his all the time. Threw bitch fits if my parents came to visit for a weekend, to see their grandkids. When my grandmother passed, he sent me a barrage of texts accusing me of only going to her funeral to cheat on him. (But yet, when he left his Facebook page open, what did I find? At least three different girls sending him DMs.)

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I found out the truth, with cold hard evidence and court records to prove. He hasn’t seen my kids in 5 years; no phone calls, no cards on their birthday, no nothing. I have sole physical and legal custody and I prefer it that way. He’s since moved on to a new wife, has a new baby, and is a pastor. Lol. He would likely deny all of this or have a convenient (albeit flimsy) excuse for it.

I’ll see him in Hell.

I found this super interesting and also I am glad all over again to be done with dating.

If you have a story to add to this list we’d love to hear it!

The post People Who Have Been in Relationships With Sociopaths Dish on What It Was Like appeared first on UberFacts.