Period Memes that Perfectly Proclaim the Pain

Periods suck. Period. Periodically a period strikes and for a certain period of time, the period positively permeates the person’s pastimes. Periods have the propensity to propagate perplexing pains and panicky perceptions which place periods firmly at the pinnacle of experiences we’d prefer to push away. Period.

Peruse these period pieces to more pleasantly process the particular pain of these pesky periods.

10. Color coded

I’m just gonna lie here ’till it’s over.

9. Bloody hell

“You’re gonna be OK! Say the goddamn words!”

8. A quiet place

May as well shout it from the rooftops.

7. The end of the road

This is my final resting place.

6. Fruitful endeavors

To be fair, those apples are being total jerks.

5. Mixed messages

If only you could just block this number.

4. That’s SO Raven

Oh, snap!

3. Jelly belly

But it was the last one and it was banana flavor, who wouldn’t cry?

2. Step away

Chucky didn’t come to play.

1. What do your elf eyes see?

The beacon is lit, Gondor calls for aid.

https://leeeeeeeeeegooooooooolaaaaaaaaas.tumblr.com/post/62936206563/waking-up-with-your-period

If you’re dealing with a period right now, we all wish you godspeed. You can do this. You can win this. You WILL live to fight another day. Period.

What’s the worst thing about all of this in your opinion?

Go ahead and vent about it in the comments with us.

The post Period Memes that Perfectly Proclaim the Pain appeared first on UberFacts.

When Your Nephew Says Someone Is Watching You Sleep…It Gets Creepy

Children say creepy stuff – so often, in fact, that there are threads and websites dedicated to parents and caregivers being able to tell their stories online.

Some of them are fairly mundane (as these things go), or even easily explained. We’ve sort of accepted at this point that kids can see things we can’t, and maybe even remember past lives since they’re so “new” to earth.

There are times, though, that I imagine it’s quite hard to sleep after a kiddo says something completely random and creepy…and this little boy telling his nephew that the “other man” watches him sleep and night definitely falls into that category.

I would think.

He’s told his cousin not to come into his room until he’s awake (because yeah, kids watching you sleep until you wake up is intensely creepy. The kid doesn’t listen (because he’s a kid) and finally, OP (original poster) got a bit huffy with him about following directions.

The Other Man Watches Me. from CreepyKids

The kid’s answer? It’s not fair that HE can’t come in the room when THE OTHER MAN watches OP sleep every night!

My face right now, y’all.

This guy had a good suggestion, and I hope OP has asked his nephew to draw this other man. I mean, because it’s important to identify the people in your room at night, obviously

Image Credit: Reddit

While this chap thinks perhaps it’s a person at the window, and cameras are in order. Just for peace of mind.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah..there’s the ghost angle.

Image Credit: Reddit

What do you think is going on here? Ghosts? Intruders? Kids being weird?

Tell us where you side in the comments!

The post When Your Nephew Says Someone Is Watching You Sleep…It Gets Creepy appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Things That Only Exist to Piss People Off

You might think there are a ton of people and products and experiences that only exist to anger the general population, and honestly…you might be right.

These 16 people certainly had no trouble coming up with long lists of minute but irritating crap that most of us encounter on an all too regular basis.

What can we do about it? Let’s get together sometime and find out, because I’ve had enough.

16. I’m telling you, some people just think they’re practical jokers.

Those pull tabs on seals that don’t work unless you really put your back into it.

Then they give suddenly and the contents of the container fly out and make a hug mess

15. It’s like a game literally no one can win, and nobody asked to play in the first place.

The fake X on advertisements, or the ones on mobile that have 2×2 pixels that you can never hit and instead click the ad.

14. This does not make anyone buy anything.

How commercials are intentionally louder than the show.

Fuck that!

13. This just causes instant rage.

When a screen loads up, and then readjusts right when you are trying to click on something.

Which then causes you to click on the wrong thing.

Ugh!

12. Seriously, what is the point?

Car alarms.

People basically ignore them because they go off too easily, and then nobody ever catches their car being stolen because of the false alarms.

So basically, you have a giant siren attached to your car that makes everyone else in the neighborhood hate you.

Here’s a pretty good article on how useless they are

11. It’s like some kind of federally mandated gag gift.

The “new” red gas cans.

The Fed gov’t started requiring a new spout that has a valve that completely prevents you from being able to pour gas out of it.

Seems to serve no other purpose than prevent people from being able to use a gas can without pouring gasoline all over the place.

10. I’m surprised it took so long to get to this.

mosquitos.

9. I have the feeling a lot of people think this way.

I swear my fucking boss only exists to piss people off.

8. Just remove the superfluous buns!

The inequality of the number of hot dogs vs. The number of buns in a pack.

7. Just thinking about it makes you sweat, right?

Unnecessary hard to open plastic packaging around some of the least valuable items.

6. Do not go for those bonus points, friends.

Slime as gifts for children. Bonus points if it’s a slime kit that the parent needs to help them make. So not only do I get to TRY and get this shit out of my carpet, I have to help them make it first.

I regret all the times I suggested people get it for my niece as a gift. I know she loves it, but I couldn’t understand the evil eye my sister in-law would give the gift giver until my kids got a slime kit, and I got roped into making it.

5. Anything that pops up to cover a whole page, honestly.

The pop up to subscribe in the newsletter of a website that covers the entire fucking page.

Of course I will subscribe to it on the first time I’m visiting your website.

4. Who is this helping?

That stupid crimped packaging that comes on knives, scissors, ect that is impossible to open and sharp as hell when you finally do tear it open.

3. Poor design is enraging.

Door handles for doors you are supposed to push to open

2. That’s why you gotta have a fake email handy.

Mandatory e-mail sign ups when visiting a website or using a service.

Even some doctors and dentists require you to do it now.

1. Also how long it can take you to figure it out.

Fake drawer handles on furniture.

Seriously, I’m sitting here getting more irritated by the post!

Is something missing? What would you add?

Tell us in the comments!

The post People Talk About Things That Only Exist to Piss People Off appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Stories of Huge Mistakes They Fixed Before Anyone Noticed

Have you been in this situation before?

Maybe it happened at work, or maybe it happened out in public, but you BLOW IT and FUCK UP in a huge way and you go into panic mode.

Now you need to fix your FUCK UP before anyone notices.

It’s a race against the clock but somehow you pull it off.

Whew! That was a close call!

AskReddit users shared their stories that are just like this.

1. Whoopsy daisy.

“Fucked up numerous times working on live applications. The best one was accidentally deleting the user table.

I was trying to delete a subset of users and managed to hit the key to run the statement before I’d written the “where” clause. If you don’t have a “where” clause to tell the database which records you want to delete, it just deletes all of them.

Luckily, the user table was only ever read by the application on log-in, so no one was going to notice unless they happened to log-in in the 2 mins or so it took me to load the records back in from a back-up.”

2. Working with acid.

“Working at a laboratory that used acid solutions to dissolve geological samples for various tests, my technical manager left a component of a machine in a plastic beaker filled halfway with concentrated hydrofluoric acid, unlabeled, in a fume hood that other people used regularly, “to see what it would do”.

I dumped it in a neutralizer and this asshole had the balls to yell at me for ruining his “test”. I told him it would etch and dissolve the part because it was glass, and he didn’t require a test because that’s already a known property.

Had someone spilled it on even a gloved hand, the hydrofluoric acid would pass through protection and enter the bloodstream without sensation, where it would leach calcium out of the bones, wreaking havoc on the nervous system causing a horrible, agonizing death.”

3. In the trash.

“I once had a roommate who didn’t speak English too well. She was moving away, and she was leaving in a hurry, and before she left she asked me to “take care of” a big bag of what was apparently clothes.

I assumed those were trash she didn’t want to take with her, and she just didn’t have time to throw them away, so once she left, I took that bag to the trash canister outside. A few hours later, that interaction just came back to my mind and seemed strange to me. I went back to the trash canister, the bag was still there, and brought it back inside.

The next day, she came back to get it and thanked me for “taking care of it”. She was a nice, poor girl from a rural region that was already struggling in the city, and I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I had to tell her that I threw her clothes into the trash.”

4. A wonderful song.

“Worked at a record / video rental store. After work on a weeknight, we close at 10pm, clean the store, count the register, lock the safe and go home.

When we clean the store we would often play a CD someone may have returned or which we wouldn’t normally play. Tonight it was 2 Live Crew’s ‘Banned In The USA’ CD with their hit single, ‘Pop That Pussy’. We put this on and crank it and start falling over laughing.

The bass is insane. We have 8 speakers set up around the perimeter of the store, all on shelves hanging near the ceiling. We hear this loud “THUNK” and cannot pinpoint what it was. We notice a speaker is “missing”… then find the corpse. It had jumped off it’s shelf and split into several chunks in the aisle.

Our night manager acted fast. “YOU!” she said, pointing to the 18 year old cashier. “Here’s $10. Go next door to Walgreens and get wood glue!” He’s gone. We start seeing if we can piece it back together. He returns. We glue it up and gently set that bitch back up on it’s shelf and left the speaker wire oh-so-gently unhooked.

The store closed about 6 years later and the manager never found out! We won! Yay Miami bass! Yay Pop That Pussy!”

5. Life and death.

“I was mixing IVs at the hospital.

Someone had put the wrong bag in the wrong bin. I didn’t notice.

I proceeded to make a batch of epidurals out of the wrong medicine. No one caught it. It somehow made it to the OB floor.

I came back into the IV room and saw the empty bag hanging and my stomach dropped. I called OB to ensure none had been used and to make sure it wouldn’t. Brought them back and wrote myself up.

If I hadn’t caught it, it would of caused major issue’s including the possibility of killing the patients. There were 12 syringes if I remember correctly.

I learned a very valuable lesson that day.”

6. Chicken drama.

“This is great timing, I was just thinking about this a few hours ago.

I rented a room from a couple and one of the rules was that I could not enter their yard. In their yard they had all sorts of animals a lovely quaky duck, a few cats and chickens. The chickens were in a big coop cause the cats hunting instincts were still to prevalent.

One weekend they asked me to feed the chickens while they went on a trip. On the last day of feeding all the chickens got out (5), and I noticed just in time to rip one of the chickens from the cats mouth.

After another hilarious 30 minute chase I’d put all the chickens back in the coop, minutes before they came home. I don’t think they noticed.”

7. That was awesome!

“Years ago, I lived in DC. One morning, riding in on the Metro I was changing trains from the Red line to the Blue. I heard the door chime and realized I wasn’t going to make this train. As I stopped, a guy bumped into me and ran on around and jumped on the train as the door chime sounded again. As he passed, I heard a thump and saw his cell phone hit the ground.

In one motion, I knelt down, grabbed the phone, stood up and under-armed the phone 20 feet and hit hit smack in the middle of his chest. He caught the phone, and looked up right at me in shock- then the door closed.

I said to myself, “Well, damn. No one saw that so I can never brag about it.” Then I heard a voice behind me say “Holy shit! That was awesome!” Guy who sat in the office right next to me was coming up behind me, heading into work at the same time. So since Tony saw it, I get to brag about it!”

8. That’s not good.

“Working on a presentation and managed to misspell the CEO’s name.

We’d been working on it for weeks, the name had been there probably since day 3 or 4. No one spotted it cause who would be dumb enough to get it wrong? I finally caught it about a week before it went to the presentation.

Definitely one of my sections, so glad I got it before it could do damage.”

9. A lucky break.

“Worked in an IT company. Had to switch of the routines for data backups because of I even don’t know anymore. Forgot to switch them on again. After around 2 years I noticed it more by coincidence. Felt very warm and sweaty instantly.

If data loss had happened, that would have been the end of the company. And the end of my career of course.”

10. Almost a bad accident.

“Caught a coworker pulling safety pins out of a support stand for a rather large and heavy jet engine component. I had two guys under the component and she was about to pull the last pin when I stopped her.

She was working with knowledge from a different style engine, and would have been correct on that model. In our model, she would have dropped a ton of metal on two guys.”

11. That would’ve been very embarrassing.

“I am a University professor.

I was watching porn one morning and closed my laptop without closing the browser. I then went to class, plugged the computer into the teaching station, and opened the screen. I was saved by the very brief delay between the image on my screen being displayed on the teaching station and it being displayed on the projector.

I managed to rip the HDMI cable out just before I projected to 100+ students.”

12. Catering.

“I work in catering, on multiple occasions have noticed food that has managed to be packaged on site, hasnt reached its sell by date (most foods we label with a sell by date of 3 days after packaging) and yet has mold on it. I’m sure I dont have to explain the consequences of that, physical or legal.

Also one time i was on my break and the food on sale was curry and somehow the one batch they happened to serve first managed to be ice cold because some how they managed to forget to heat that one up.

Luckily I was the first person to take some so I picked it up before the customer otherwise there would have been issues.”

13. Don’t play with fire.

“I was lighting matches and throwing them around a yard beside the one that I grew up in and bf it was so sunny out I couldn’t see that I started a grass fire and it had gotten big. ( the grass was also dead) I managed to find an old oil drum, tipped it over and rolled it all along the perimeter of the growing bush fire.

If I hadn’t had that barrel I would have burned down several graineries and possibly vehicles. If it had gotten into the tree line, my yard would have gone up. Only you know about this. None of my family.”

14. Dodged a bullet.

“Was going on a three night backpacking trip with friends, it was my job to round up three breakfasts.

At REI I picked up what I thought were six packages of freeze dried eggs hanging from a peg. Turns out only the first was eggs, the ones behind it were Neapolitan ice cream. The packages were identical, only a small label indicated the contents.

Fortunately for me the first day and night of the trip we were harassed so badly by biting flies and mosquitoes everyone wanted to abandon the trip as nobody brought bug spray.

I only discovered my mistake days later. Bullet dodged.”

Whew! Those were some close calls!

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us your personal stories about mistakes you fixed at the very last second before anyone noticed.

Thanks!

The post People Share Stories of Huge Mistakes They Fixed Before Anyone Noticed appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About When They Decided They Were Done Being Good and Did Something Bad

Sometimes in life, you just gotta be bad for once.

You know what I mean?

I think you do, because we’ve all pretty much been there at one point or another…

Are you ready to hear some of these stories?

AskReddit users went on the record and shared their personal experiences.

1. Snapped.

“A few years ago I took a day trip to the beach with a bunch of people.

We got to the beach at 9am and stayed until 4. At this particular beach there is a beach restaurant and bar that has a dj and dance floor. As we were packing up I noticed the couple we drove up was still at the bar.

I asked my SO to go get them and I’d head to the car to start cooling it off thinking it would be nice for everyone else to get into a cool car rather than a boiling one. When they got to the car the girlfriend was drunk and being a bitch.

For 15 minutes she complained how we “ditched them” at the beach and how rude we were and just on and on while I’m driving them home.

Now I’m a generally laid back person but I couldn’t believe how selfish and entitled she was being and it was directed at me. So I lost it on her and basically screamed that if I had ditched them at the beach they would still be there not in my car and if she wanted to continue to be a bitch she and her boyfriend could get out and take an uber home.

She shut up and didnt say another word the remainder of the drive. Her boyfriend thanked me for the ride and apologized when I dropped them off. She apologized the next day as well.

But it gets brought up now and then becuase it was so out of character for me to snap like that.”

2. Got suspended.

“Middle school.

New kid named… Kyle was already bugging everyone. Oh, and some background. He was from Kentucky and he gotten expelled from 5 schools. He was known for being really rude, especially to the girls/ women. He was saying stuff like “women should be in the kitchen” and all that. But that wasn’t it.

He would bully everyone, think he was all the shit, etc. The day after he arrived he kept looking at my test for answers. He literally was crazy. He was whispering “I know you’re covering it. I’m just trying to torture you.” I don’t know what he had said but I snapped. I turned and slapped him on the face. It’s a bit of a blur but here’s what I recall was ALOT of yelling and cussing.

“YOU FUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT. NO ONE HERE CARES ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE A WORTHLESS ANNOYING BRAT WHO SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE ASS FARM IN KENTUCKY!”

He shut up and I got suspended. However after I told my dad he wasn’t mad. He was proud? He said he didn’t like my language and seemed pretty mad but said that he was glad I stood up for myself. Kinda mixed messages.

At least I got him to shut up for the rest of the year and was known as the “cool kid” for a week.”

3. Cult activity.

“Where I live a religious cult is allowed to load a van with speakers and go about town spreading music and their message. obviously it’s a nightmare, so one time while smoking in my balcony I threw my glass tea cup (full of discarded cigarettes) at the truck.

It hit the van and there was some shouting ,so I quickly hid and scurried back inside. I think they came around the building knocking on some doors but nothing else happened.

it felt good to finally take a shot at those crazy mofos.”

4. Do it for Mom.

“Mum’s doctor called me when he couldn’t reach her. She had appendicitis and needed to go to hospital (it ended up being gangrenous and she had two infections).

I drove like those assholes in BMWs to get to her house where she was sleeping and not looking great.

I wasn’t proud of it, it’s illegal, but I would do it again.

Just as a note I didn’t do anything dangerous. I sped in open lanes and used bus lanes, overtook etc. Nothing to risk anyone else or myself. Wasn’t Tokyo Drift or something.”

5. At the grocery store.

“When I worked as a grocery bagger, the bosses would have us clean and sanitize the butcher shop. It took about an hour. They could pay us $8 an hour to do it, or pay the journeyman meat cutter his hourly wage, so of course they chose us.

It was such shit work, and being younger than 18 I wasn’t really supposed to be working around that specific area (knives, cutting machines, etc.) Customers would come during the process and want something from the case, and we would have to stop what we were doing, grab the item, weigh it, package it, and price it for them.

I didn’t want to do it. I was good at it, though, so I started getting scheduled specifically so I could do the cleaning. After weeks of this I had enough. I packaged and sold several choice cuts of meat to friends for the price of ground beef. We had an incredible backyard barbeque and it cost us less than $20 for all of the steak. No one ever figured it out.

I also caused a major disturbance by printing out a custom $999 bar code sticker and putting it on a can of Pringles. Apparently when you scan and void something that totals over a thousand dollars after taxes it throws up several red flags and requires a system override by fancy corporate people.”

6. Uh oh.

“I’ve been the good asian kid all of high school. Year 12, final year, I tried extra hard to get a good admissions ranking (ATAR in Australia) final week of school we have a day called muck up day in Aussie tradition, some of my mates went to the school at night to put up silly pictures, zip tie lockers shut and glad wrap some doors.

It was going well and good until some other idiots showed up and egged the school, emptied the bins everywhere, superglued the doors and burned down a table. What’s worse they filmed themselves and ended up getting all of us caught. Got suspended from graduation which my typical asian mum was not happy with.

There was a huge petition to unsuspend us but all it did was let the local news know about us. So now whenever anyone asks about which high school I graduated from they always follow up with the question, weren’t you guys the ones who vandalised the school?”

7. Dine and ditch.

“Went to a restaurant and had ordered a pretty decent amount of food and drinks (Probably over $60).

Asked my waiter multiple times for the check, and he was always was like “Yeah, I’ll get that” then 5 minutes later he would be chatting with his coworkers or helping another table. After about 45 minutes I just got up and left.”

8. Vandalizing.

“I keyed the side of a car.

I had just parked and a family pulls up to the slot beside me. When the kids opened the car doors they slammed them into my car. I stepped out to talk to them and the whole family basically started running away without saying a word or even looking back.

I went to run my errand then quickly got back out and keyed across the side of their car before I left.

Might have been excessive but it felt very good.”

9. Getting scandalous!

“I slept with my ex boyfriend’s brother after he broke up with me by telling me I was fat and then sleeping with a girl who he insisted was just his friend.

The look on his face when we passed each other on my way to the bathroom from his brother’s room at 2AM gave me like a half an orgasm.”

10. Goody two-shoes.

“Goody two-shoes honor roll type kid growing up, if a bit argumentative lol.

Parents mistook teenage depression/insomnia as drug use when I accidentally backed into their car (they usually parked next to me but for some reason decided to park behind me that particular morning, not an excuse but at 5:30 in the morning half awake to go to work I didn’t even see it).

Store bought test gave a false positive for I have no clue what. Was grounded for months until lab results came back. Decided I was therefore entitled to double jeopardy and did all the drugs I could get my hands on lol.

Thankfully a passing and brief phase haha.”

11. Hard times.

“Working minimum wage in a supermarket. Was broke. I hit bad times.

Boss hates most his employees and treats them like they aren’t worth anything. Up to that point i was a pretty decent employee. But at one point I figured, fuck this. I started stealing from the store( snacks, fruits etc..)

I later realized that I wasn’t the only one. A lot of people didn’t care anymore either and were doing as bad as I was. I dont work there anymore. But I never got caught.

Some did though and got fired immediately.”

12. Standing up to Dad.

“Basically my dad has been abusive for as long as I can remember (e.g. he has some naked pics of me somewhere and got my sister hospitalized once).

One day, we were in the car and he kept interrupting every single one of my sentences while we were arguing and I was trying to ask me to explain my rationale (which he asked me to do).

I accidentally dropped a quiet f-bomb out of frustration, so he tried to slap me while pinching my thigh and tried to push me out the car.

I punched him in the face. His mouth was a bit bloody after that.”

13. Rotten fish.

“Caught my now ex wife sleeping with a married dude. Moved her out into an apartment. Not two days later i was on my way home which is also the same road her new apartment was on and i saw his truck in her driveway.

Instead of going home i went to the grocery store and bought a couple whole salmons from the fresh fish dept and went back to the apartment, crawled underneath the truck and put the fish up in his bumper amd one frozen one behind the back seat (door was unlocked) knowing that they will rot in the heat the next few days.

His wife text me a few days later “very funny”. He ended up having to buy a new truck because he couldnt get the stink out.”

14. Bully.

“I can’t remember exactly how old I was but around 10ish. and we had a neighborhood bully. He would try to pee on us, he attempted to shoot us with a bb gun. He always was just so controlling. Sometimes he would be nice and we would play with him, because of his sister.

I was at another friend’s house, and he came over to her yard insisted we stopped playing. We had an old big wheel and was going down the hillside in it. I told him it wasn’t his yard or his toy and if he didn’t want to play with us to leave. My friend was shocked, but I was just over it with him. He told me if I went down the hill in the big wheel 1 more time he would fight me.

Down the hill, I went and he got so mad. My friend was in fear for one he was just a few months younger than me and even for a girl, I was really tiny for my age. He shoved me to the ground and started yelling at me pinned me and wouldn’t let me off the ground he grabbed my leg and I think he was trying to bend it in a painful position but I kept moving and I wouldn’t let him.

My friend was afraid he was going to break my leg, but he never even hurt me. I was overpowered by him and although he wasn’t hurting me I got fed up and I bit his leg. He looked at me, started crying and cussed me out. He ran home to his mom. It was so satisfying.

I found out he got in trouble because he told his mom exactly what happened he got grounded for trying to fight me and also got grounded longer because I tore a hole in his pants and they were new school pants he had been told multiple times to stop wearing. He was never mean to me or my other friends after that.”

15. Defending her honor.

“In high school, my friends and I would hang out over by the bleachers of one of the baseball fields, pretty far from the quad and most of the other kids. We were sitting in a circle on the grass just talking, and some freshmen we didn’t know started chasing each other around and almost kicked our stuff a few times.

My friend said nicely “hey, can you please be careful?” and one of the kids sneered at her and said “why? Like your fat ass could catch me.” (She was a bigger girl).

Before I even processed my own reaction, I immediately stood up and sucker punched him in the side of the head. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and started yelling. He ran over to his other friends, one of whom was apparently his older brother, trying to get them to come beat me up. But the brother just shrugged and said “you were being a dick, you deserved it.”

My friend was grateful for “defending her honor” and the kid I punched never bothered us again.”

Have you ever done something like this?

If so, tell us about it in the comments!

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Talk About When They Decided They Were Done Being Good and Did Something Bad appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss When They Decided to Stop Being Good to Experience What Being Bad Felt Like

Get on with your bad self! Yeah, you!

Have you ever said that to yourself when you just feel like you need to break free and do something bad because you’ve been good for SO DAMN LONG?

I know I have!

And so have these folks on AskReddit who shared their stories.

1. REVENGE.

“My elderly Mother-in-law made a little wreath to put on the door of her apartment. A couple of days later some asshole completely destroyed it. She was really sad about it.

We put it back together and fixed it. I added lots of pointy needles. I put it back on the door.

She told me that she heard some swearing at 6:30 in the morning. It was one of her neighbor.”

2. Evil sister.

“My sister is kind of evil, and one day she was really being abusive to our mom. Screaming and yelling and insulting our mother to the point of lunacy. Mom began to tear up a bit, and I didn’t really like that.

Then my sister says “oh wow, you’re crying?”

I had a cup of coffee in my hand, and I instinctively poured it over her head. Suddenly, I was the bad guy, which was fine, because I don’t really care what someone says while they’re covered in coffee anyways.

Waste of good coffee.”

3. Suck it.

“Worked at Target when I was in my late teens (I’m 31 now) and thought I was doing as good of a job as I could be.

When it came time for the yearly review, they told me I was “consistently inconsistent” and gave me a 6 cent raise. I was pissed but at the time was too afraid to speak up for myself. Barely a month later, I was doing the same quality of work as before and was named employee of the month.

So it’s ok to tell me I suck in order to justify an insulting raise but then make me employee of the month? Two weeks later I found a new job and instead of giving them two weeks notice, I called in before one of my shifts and said I’m never coming back.

Suck it, Target.”

4. Caught in the middle.

“Divorced parents, they did the usual “your mom/dad is the bad One and a liar” thing.

I was about 15-16 and they both sent me to court to testify against one another (they both though i was on their side). Jokes on them I told the judge they both sucked.

My dad told me after that i was not a part of the family anymore, so i said “fuck you” and told the judge to remove my weekends with him. 22 years old now, he is trying to make up for it, not sure i can go back but lets see.

I was a super quiet kid, by the way.”

5. That felt good!

“I threw a girls phone, who bullied my friend, out of a ferris-wheel after she asked me to hold it to take a selfie (my arms are long).

She said my friend couldn’t be in it because she was ugly. It felt really good.”

6. Showed him!

“Someone smashed the pumpkin I had on my front porch for Halloween. I was so mad that night I took an old purse and shit in it.

I then put it on the same step my pumpkin was, then hid in my room and watched out the window. I don’t know if it was the same kid that smashed my pumpkin that later tried to steal the purse but the happiness I took from that moment of a kid reaching his hand in the purse while he was walking away to steal the money more than made up for the anger of a smashed pumpkin.”

7. Doh!

“Perfect attendance from kindergarten all the way to senior year in high school, until a girl asked me to ditch one hour with her.

Suffice to say, that cost me an award.”

8. Bad roommate.

“Didn’t get along with an old roommate because she moved her boyfriend and dog in. She was generally very messy.

He didn’t pay rent and her dog was a liquid shit machine. Her dog ruined my lovesac and soaked it with piss and shit. I asked her to repay me for it and have her boyfriend leave and instead of repaying me she stole items I kept in all common rooms to spite me.

Snitched to my landlord and got her evicted. Also pissed in her shampoo bottle.”

9. Jackpot!

“I was a teen and found $1000 in an ATM.

This was one of those ATMs that had a place where the money would drop to. This was the early 90s – I don’t think they just drop it anymore – they all retract back into the machine if you don’t take it. But during this time, that technology didn’t exist.

I went to the bank to return the money. I was sick of this bank (I was an American expat in Singapore who needed a bank account, long boring story, but wanted to explain why a teen hated a bank). Anyway, I had to always wait in line, never enough tellers, people were pretty rude, etc. This bank sucked.

After waiting for 15 minutes, with one teller and the line still 10 deep, I said to myself, “Fuck it, I came to return this money, I tried to be honest, but they are making it impossible for me.”

I went and bought a stereo. It was alright.”

10. My time.

“I’ve followed the rules 100% that were laid out by my parents until I hit 18 and wanted to hang out with a group of friends.

Thing is there needs to be adult supervision at all times when I go over to a friend’s house. I got fed up, some of these people I’ve known for four years, and went anyway even though the hosting party’s parents were not home.

And nothing bad happened; all we did was play dungeons and dragons for five hours.”

11. Thief!

“I was in the grocery store two weeks ago and did something bad. I go to a place with top-quality beef, and I buy boneless ribeyes that cost $21.99lb on a regular basis.

For some reason on my last trip, there were two packages (4 steaks total) that were marked as pork chops for $6.99. I dropped them both in my cart and went on my way.”

12. The outsider.

“I was the outsider in elementary school for a lot of reasons. The last day of 8th grade I said fuck it, grabbed the bully who’d lead the little group of dickheads who’d made my life rough and tipped him head first into a trash can.

One of those that didn’t get emptied regularly.

No one believed him when he ran to the office.”

13. No regrets.

“I used to work in retail.

One night a customer asked me when a jacket would be discounted. I told her that I couldn’t say for sure because we weren’t told when certain items would be reduced in price. She called me a dumb bitch and an idiot and asked me to put it on hold for 24 hours in case it got discounted over night .

I think it’s also worth noting that she claimed to be an Instagram Influencer with over 5000 followers and she said she lose “deals” if she didn’t get the jacket. Also she was racist toward the stores security guard, who happens to be one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.

I put the jacket aside for her but not before doing a system search and finding out that there were only three left in this size in the entire country (as you may have guessed from my username In live in New Zealand, so not a particularly big country).

Fast forward 24 hours and she hasn’t come to pick up the jacket. I was feeling extra petty and had had a particularly bad day the day before so exactly 24 hours after I put it aside for her I decided to buy it.

I browsed around the store for a while before going to pay, and of course Karen was up there at the checkouts. If she had been ranting at my colleague about the jacket I would have given it to her to save another from the wrath of Karen but she was going on about the car park and appeared to have forgotten about the jacket.

Once I got to the car I went online and bought the other jacket before driving to the other side of town and buying the third and last one in the country (it was near the end of the season so chances are there weren’t going to be any more).

The whole thing cost more money than I would’ve liked, but I stopped a Karen from getting her way for once so I don’t regret it.”

14. I’ll take the day off.

“After 2 years of working somewhere and getting treated like shit, I didn’t get a permanent contract and called in sick on my last day, because I hated that job.

I had only called in sick once before for one day. After that they still said I had to come to work, so I just said sure I’ll come and just didn’t show up.

That day off felt really good.”

Now it’s your turn!

Tell us about a time when you were fed up with being good and you decided to get naughty.

Talk to us in the comments!

The post People Discuss When They Decided to Stop Being Good to Experience What Being Bad Felt Like appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss Really Bad Adulting Fails That They’ve Witnessed

Adults don’t always have it figured out, huh?

The answer to that question is a huge NO.

When you’re a kid, you probably think that adults know how to do everything, but then you get older and you realize that pretty much everyone is totally clueless.

Here are some true stories from AskReddit users about being surprised at what adults don’t know how to do.

1. Two stories.

“I’ve got two. A girl I knew in college. Her dad called once to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did. Then her truck started smelling like french fries and then died.

Even after trying to explain it, she couldn’t understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor.

Another time, another party back in college, a guy demonstrated how to shotgun a beer by shoving a steak knife into it and twisting it. Also some of his hand. He panicked like crazy. Made all kinds of noises and waved his hand around freaking out and getting blood all over. He was a bit drunk, though, and these things happen.

He got a bandage on it a minute later and he was fine.”

2. Ummmm…

“When my friend bought a house a month into home ownership she asked me, very pissed off, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it’s starting to look like weeds .

It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.”

3. Come on!

“I had to jump a friends car that wouldn’t start.

It had a hard time but I finally got it running. She immediately turns off the car and says, “thanks so much I’ll call you later!””

4. Too many rules.

“Had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken. He was cool to just…go about his day before I asked. He thought I was being a wacko neat freak.

Same guy also thought his sheets wouldn’t fit in the washing machine so he just…never washed them.

When I asked him please not drop silverware down the garbage disposal and leave it he said I had too many house rules.”

5. You must empty it!

“My ex best friend had told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, the 3rd that month.

I asked her what was wrong with it and she said “It’s not picking things up anymore!” So I asked if she had dumped out the container… she didn’t know that was a thing.”

6. What day is it?!?!

“I work graveyard shift and I had to explain to a coworker that at midnight, 12:00 am/0000 hours, it is the start of a new day.

She then had an anxiety attack because I was telling her that “today is not Monday anymore, today is Tuesday now”.”

7. Not really up on things.

“I had to teach my boss how to “go down to the next line” by hitting Enter on his computer keyboard.”

8. Hahahaha.

“I had a friend who I noticed took Mucinex A LOT.

I’ve used it occasionally, when I’ve been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn’t seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said “well, I think I’m getting sick”.

I pressed further and he said “because it’s an expectorant”. It turns out he thought “you take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick”.”

9. What does that mean?

“Girl I went to HS with: “why do people say a quarter of an hour? Like what does that even mean?”

Me: “it’s 15 minutes. Because 15 is a fourth of 60, so that’s a quarter of an hour”

Her: looking at me like I’m a fucking idiot “But a quarter is 25…”

Me: …”

10. A smart one!

“My wonderful, selfless, beautiful younger brother asked me how to make ice last year.

He’s 24.”

11. You gotta peel those!

“Friend from college tried making burrito bowls for dinner and complained that some of the onions were weirdly chewy. She didn’t know onions need to be peeled.

She asked me if not greasing the pan when making banana bread was okay, because she didn’t have anything to grease it with. She had canola oil, olive oil, and butter. She thought you could only use Pam which I informed her was just sprayable oil.

She won’t cook raw meat, because it’s gross and she doesn’t know how to tell if it’s cooked well enough to not get sick. I taught her how to make tea, how to mop, how to do laundry, how to make scrambled eggs.

She has the type of mom that does all the cooking and cleaning, but I don’t understand why she wouldn’t have tried to pass that to her daughter.”

12. Slow computer.

“In the late 90s.

Had a co-worker who complained about her PC being slow. Took a look and the hard drive was full. Largest folder was her recycle bin. She had never ever emptied it in years of use. I emptied recycle, cleared Temp folder and PC started working fine.

She was happy until….. Her big excel tracking sheet was gone. Oh No. She did not know where it was on file explorer, so I asked her to show me how she opened it. She goes to the little storage container on her desktop, named Recycle Bin, and it was normally at the top, but now it’s gone. No backup. Oops…

She cried to management that I ‘destroyed her computer’. Manager laughed when I told her the truth.”

13. Where am I?

“This is like 10 years ago. I was dating a 32 year old and he asked me if I wanted to get together to watch a TV show. I said sure, what time is it on. He looks it up and says to me “8 Pacific 9 Central…?”

I asked what was confusing him and he told me he wasn’t sure if the show was on at 8 or 9. My man did not know what timezone we lived in.

So I was like “Ok, well you know what ocean we’re near, right?” cuz I was trying to get him to think about the Pacific timezone in terms of the giant body of water for which it was named and he immediately got defensive and for real said “Why would I know that? I’m from Texas.”

He’d been living in San Francisco for 5 years and could see the Pacific Ocean out his window.”

14. Tell me about it.

“Worked at an on campus store that sold a lot of essentials for students living at dorms.

I had one girl ask me what laundry detergent was because she never did laundry. She asked if I could help her do her laundry but I declined as I couldn’t leave the register, which of course she was mad about.

Sorry I have to actually do my job lady.”

15. Money problems.

“This is going to sound weird, but manage a budget. Or just in general being money smart.

One of my old roommates was really bright academically, but he was terrible with money. Each semester he would start off with a pile of cash from his parents and roughly blow through it after about two months.

I first noticed it with his dining dollars on campus. Every day it seemed like he would buy the most expensive sushi option on campus everyday. We’re talking maybe $18.00 which isn’t terrible if it’s once in a while, but this was every day.

It’s also college dining hall sushi, so the quality was also just okay without even considering the money spent. Of course around midterms when his dining dollars would run out and he’d sort of panic and whine that he couldn’t afford anything.

But what was so strange, is that when he would start to low, he’s sort of laugh about not knowing anyway we could avoid going broke while continuing to buy the most expensive option. But he’d also get really defensive when people wanted to talk to him about this.

Eventually when he moved off campus it was the same thing. For the first two months he’d feast. He’d get delivery constantly, ordering just way too much food, and of course he’d never share it.

But then once he’d nearly run out of cash, he’d buy like an emergency 50 pack of hot dogs and only eat that for the rest of the semester, while telling everyone else that they were lucky they had money to spend, and how not everyone had it so easy when it comes to money.

He’d never directly say it, but there were always a lot of implied insults.”

Have you ever had any experiences like this?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

Thanks!

The post People Discuss Really Bad Adulting Fails That They’ve Witnessed appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Being Shocked by What Other Adults Didn’t Know How to Do

Have you ever been with another adult and you were totally shocked by something they DIDN’T know how to do?

It’s weird, right?

Like, you think people should have these things figured out by the time they reach adulthood, but then…well, you get that info and you just shake your head.

Adulting sure is weird…and it can be surprising sometimes, too!

Let’s check out these horror stories from AskReddit users.

1. That’s surprising.

“I was a drill sergeant in the US Army. The first time you have to show an adult man how to shave is a little shocking. The worst one was the 24 year old male that didn’t know how to tie his boots.

He had gotten through reception and pick up day by tightly lacing his boots and tucking the laces in. As they would loosen up throughout the day, he would just pull them tight again. The first Sunday I noticed his boots were barely staying on as he was marching back from dinner.

I asked him what was wrong with them as it’s common for privates to have the wrong size boots when they get to us. He didn’t know how to tie them. At all. Not a single knot. I spent an hour showing him how I tie my boots and different techniques if he gets hot spots or blisters.

Then I assigned his bunkmate the task of making sure they were tied correctly when he left the bay.

I kind of understood it. He came from a super poor neighborhood, single mom that worked all the time, he didn’t have a lot of positive influences before joining the Army.

I was a little worried about his comprehension skills since basic rifle marksmanship is kind of intense and takes some focus, but he did well. I was very happy that on family day he had his low quarters tied and was proud that he had learned so much.”

2. Payin’ bills.

“A friend who was pushing 40 had never paid a bill before.

She had gone from living with her parents to living in a dorm to living with her parents again until she got married, then she got divorced and was living on her own for the first time.

Got a text from her asking if my power was out too, then she realized it was just her. Her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were “receipts” and that the cost was included in her rent.

Her water was cut off a couple weeks later and we had to talk about that, too.”

3. Oh, boy…

“I have many great stories about my former college roommate. Two of my favorites are:

she wanted to make pasta. She put a pot on the stove and poured the noodles in (no water in the pot), turned on the stove. After a while she asked me “how come these aren’t getting soft like when my mom makes them?”

she made brownies from a box. The box instructions say “grease the bottom of an 8×8 pan before pouring in the brownie batter.” You bet your ass this bitch picked up the 8×8 pan, flipped it over, greased the BOTTOM of it, and then flipped it back over and poured in the brownie batter”

4. We’re at war, right?

“Back in ’06 or ’07, was working selling a software licensing product to software vendors.

I was working with a 50-something Californian lady (I’m from the UK) who was handling some of the incoming enquiries through our website.

One day she asks, “Hey we had a lead today from a company in Egypt. What should I do with it?”

I said, “Err, well follow it up of course. Why would you ask?”

She goes, “Because they’re Arabs, and we’re at war with the Arabs aren’t we?””

5. That’s weird.

“I guess we were still in high school, but we were 18.

Me and my buddy Ferris were just getting into going to the gym. We went with Ferris’s friend Tom. After working out, in the changing room during some small talk I saw Tom putting on a shirt. Tom put the shirt over his head, but didn’t put his arms through the sleeves.

He managed to pull the shirt over his torso so that it was adequately on before wiggling all about and bending his arms in odd ways to get them into the sleeves. I didn’t take much notice to it the first few times. But after a few months it was apparent he did this every single time. Tom didn’t know how to put on a shirt. At least efficiently.

Eventually we asked Tom why he put his shirt on like that, and he said something along the lines of “Wait what, don’t I do it the same way you guys do?” I guess he had never really thought about it before then.”

6. Can’t read the clock.

“Had a guy constantly asking what time jt is…by the 6th time I said “bro,there is a clock right there” he said ” I don’t know how to read it…grown ass man..

Couple weeks later on facebook someone shared a picture of cursive writing he made fun of the people who couldn’t read it…I posted a picture of a clock and said what time does this say…he blocked me.”

7. What the hell?

“College roommate did not know how to wash his body.

Yes. The SMELL.

After a week we threatened him. He took a “shower”.

We sent him back again. With soap.

Three days later he stank again. We told him to shower every day.

Then we taught him how to do laundry. And bought him a coat because he did not own one. In cleveland. In the winter.

Full genius dude, invented a WiFi security standard later on. But no idea how to care for himself.”

8. C’mon, people!

“Training a new girl at work and she told me she didn’t know how to sweep. I had to show her.

Training a new girl at work, her dishes often still greasy after being washed, I asked her about it and I asked her when she puts the soap on and she replied, straight faced, ‘oh… You use soap here?’ (we had raw meat on many of those dishes.)

My ex told me he ‘thought mixing dark and light loads of laundry was a myth’ after destroying a bunch of my clothes. He also told me soaking dishes had no affect…”

9. Mama’s boy.

“I had spent the night at my ex boyfriend’s place and stayed a bit longer in the morning to help clean the house. I was folding some clothes when I noticed him go from one side of the bed to another without actually doing anything.

I looked at him and he looked clueless. He said “can you please make the bed? I’ve never done this, no idea where to start”. I didn’t mean to have a strong reaction to it but man did it leave me speechless… he was 26 at the time.

That day I realized his mother often visited his house to make the bed and clean… Yeah…”

10. The employee from Hell.

“Before the shutdown happened, I was working in a bar. We had this kid who got hired as a barback and he apparently just couldn’t keep up. It was a pretty busy place, especially on the weekends, and barbacks had to be on top of shit constantly.

After about three weeks, management decides he isn’t gonna cut it as a barback and pushes him into the kitchen with me. I was glad to have help because we always had issues with keeping cooks on for some reason.

Holy shit. This kid could not do anything. He lacked basic common sense for practically everything. We started him on fry station but he would fuck up the most basic of tasks; he didn’t even know how to make fries. I told him how to do our catfish (3 planks tossed in corn mill and flour), he tossed the first two but then dropped the third in completely bare.

I asked him why he did that and he had no answer. Then we tried putting him on grill – he couldn’t make toast or toast buns; he would always burn them! Last we tried having him run center and call out tickets but it seemed like he could barely read.

There were multiple times I had to kick him out of the kitchen because he was so slow or just completely zone out.

One of the servers was his cousin and she told me that both his dad and brother had to fire him from separate jobs because he wouldn’t do his shit or wouldn’t show up. Then of course one night, he was still out back after he clocked out and was talking to someone at length about doing mushrooms and acid; guess we know why he can’t hold down a job.

Told him to do something one night while I ran to the restroom; came back and he was gone. Good riddance. Brandon, if you’re reading this, I hate your guts.”

11. Mother knows best.

“In my honors dorm at Purdue there was a Computer Science major named Jeffrey. He was well known because his parents would stop by every week to pick up his laundry and bring him a case of Fiji water with expensive groceries.

His dad was a doctor. We commented on Jeffrey’s long gross toenails and how he needs to cut them. He told us they are long because his mom hasn’t visited in weeks and she was the one who cut them. His mother cut her 19 year old sons toenails. Disgusting.

We had to give him a lesson on it.”

12. In culinary school?

“Frying an egg.

He was in culinary school. When tasked with “egg day” where they just cook eggs multiple times in multiple styles to get the basis of the techniques involved; he had gently plopped an egg (shell and all) into a buttered pan.

His reasoning was that the heat of the pan will melt away the shell.”

13. Totally clueless.

“One of my roommates in college was basically helpless when it came to basic life skills.

She declared herself a feminist and didn’t want to do housework but like, part of being independent is learning how to be self-sufficient… Anyways, she came to me one day our junior year and asked me how to do laundry. Literally had never done it herself before.

She also came to me and our other roommates once because she clogged her toilet and wanted us to come fix it because she didn’t know how. She asked if she should call maintenance and we were like no wtf go buy a plunger and deal with that shit yourself. She still had one of my other roommates come help her plunge the toilet but thank god it wasn’t me lol.

She had no idea how to cook and ordered delivery like every night, she never learned to drive, didn’t know how to swim, she was incapable of picking up after herself and would drop her stuff in the middle of the floor where the rest of us were constantly tripping over it, and she never took out the trash unless repeatedly asked.

She moved out over the summer finally but didn’t clean her shit out of the fridge when she left. I was gone home for the summer and when I came back it was full of rotten food and had to be completely cleaned. She had also left food or something in her room and I had to call the pest control folks because there were ants and roaches coming in.

The thing is, she was extremely nice and sweet and I don’t think any of it was out of malice or bad intent. She was just completely fucking clueless. I just don’t understand how a person can be so helpless when they’re practically an adult and how their parents can let them get that bad.”

14. Turn it on.

“Ooohhh I got one. I work as an EMT for a private company, so we mostly deal with nursing homes and the elderly. One day when I was about 6-8 months in, I got assigned a partner who was in my orientation class.

He was a little older than me at the time, like mid 20’s, but he seemed a little childish. “Maybe he’s just sheltered, I think to myself.”

Anyways, we got a patient I’ve had a few times before. She was a sweet, little old lady with COPD and CHF living at an assisted living. Call was for pneumonia.

She’s prone to this stuff so it wasnt a huge deal, slap her on oxygen and keep her sitting up til we get to the hospital. The first red flag though, was this kid didn’t know anything. He didnt know how to take a blood pressure.

He couldn’t find the medical history or medication on the paperwork (which is clearly labeled). He didn’t even push the stretcher, just walked next to it with a hand on it. When I asked him about all that, he said “My partners usually do that for me.”

So, I put her on an oxygen mask and sit her all the way up, mildly agitated. I tell myself it’s just one shift with this kid.

He’s in the back with her and I tell him to just switch the oxygen from the bag (which is a small tank) to the main tank (which is huge) because with the amount of oxygen we’re giving her, the bag will run out not even halfway before the hospital. It’s about 25 minutes, which normally wouldn’t be a huge deal.

But when we pull up to the hospital and I open the back doors, I’m fucking shook. The oxygen mask isnt inflated (meaning she isnt getting oxygen), shes pale as shit, I can literally see her accessory muscles moving, struggling to breathe.

And this kid was sitting behind her, with a clueless half smile on his face, looks at me and says “The main tank is broken, so I left her on the bag.” This women, who needs oxygen without pneumonia, was barely breathing for at LEAST 15 minutes. And this fucking idiot didnt even check. We take her into the hospital.

I ask him to find an oxygen tank while explain to this women’s daughter what happened. He says he doesn’t know where to look. I fucking find it and told him to talk to the daughter.

When it’s all said and done, I check to see what’s broken. He didn’t turn on the tank.”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about the most shocking thing you’ve witnessed as far as adults NOT being able to do something.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Talk About Being Shocked by What Other Adults Didn’t Know How to Do appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Stupidest Things They’ve Done Just to Prove They Could Do It

You know what…I double-dog dare you!

You know nothing good is going to happen after you hear those words because what comes next is usually someone doing something incredibly stupid or risky just to prove a point.

And we’ve all done it at some point!

Here are some true stories from folks on AskReddit who did just that.

1. All you can eat.

“I proved to myself that it’s possible to eat 5 kilos of shrimp in one sitting.

I also proved that eating 5 kilos of shrimp in one sitting will make you very, very sick.”

2. Impressing the ladies.

“Both times were to impress a lady. First one was I picked up a 2-3 foot long gopher snake, i successfully grabbed it but it also bit the fuck out of me.

The second one i still get anxiety sometimes when i think about it, but i was drunk as fuck and with a girl i really liked and for some reason the subject of climbing this parking garage came up and i felt the need to show everyone that we were with that you could indeed climb the building from a single pipe on the side.

I then without warning immediately began my ascent and was already a floor up before my friends could stop me. I then proceeded to climb all five stories using the wall and the pipe.

Topped out to all the people we were with freaking out and then my best friend slapped the shit outta me… good times, but that could have been bad.”

3. Oh, shit!

“My partner was a heavy smoker, and at the time, I’d never touched a cigarette. I would subtly—and sometimes not-so-subtly, but always lovingly—urge her to quit. She told me I had no idea how hard it was. I decided to take up smoking for about a month and then quit just to show her I could do it.

That was ten years ago. I’m on a pack a day. She no longer smokes.”

4. Worth it?

“I used to work at a shitty movie theatre. As it gets to midnight all the employees hang out behind the concessions counter and shoot the shit, eat the popcorn before we have to throw it out, etc.

One of them dared someone to do a butter shot. But like, the liquid butter for popcorn is way closer to straight oil. So an oil shot. I’m always a slut for attention so I said pass it to me and I downed it without letting myself think about the consequences.

It tasted like liquid plastic and I hated it but everyone was howling and incredulous and I felt cool for a whole minute.

Shat my brains out the next morning. Worth it.”

5. Not cool.

“Punched a giant plate glass window out of a jewelry shop in Palm Springs when I was 21.

Total Drunk Dick energy, window slashed my hand wide open, and all I remember is seeing my buddy sprinting away when the store alarm started blaring. My other friend picked me up in front of the store, blood was literally spraying out of my hand all over his back seat, and he got me to hospital and into ICU.

When emergency room doctor pulled out six inch needle I passed out cold.

Woke up about 12 hours later with a throbbing headache, bandages up hand. Finals started the next week and I couldnt write with my left hand, so had to use my right. Also took me a good year to get my dexterity back to play guitar.

Total asshole move on my part.”

6. You did it!

“Ran a marathon. Did a half marathon with an okay time and pace with training. Got over-zealous decided I was ready for a full marathon with less training.

Oh boy was that a humbling experience. My pace all the way to the halfway point was good (same pace as my half marathon) but the other half of the marathon hit me like a brick.

Almost dead last but still managed to do it.”

7. Don’t try this at home.

“Put a cigarette out on my arm Logan-Style (X-Men) because some dudes in my class didn’t believe me when I told them i don’t feel much pain in the arms.

I still don’t but got a real bad infection, the beating of a lifetime from my mom (first and last beating i ever got – just for my stupidity) and the scar on my Arm is (luckily) not big but kind of ugly.”

8. Making bad decisions.

“Let’s see…

Broke my ankle after intentionally running into a wall because I thought it would be funny

Celebrated the world cup by chugging an entire bottle of champagne using a vuvuzela as a funnel

Making absinthe (~160 proof)

Drinking my homemade absinthe

Got sloppy with grain alcohol while blowing fire at a party and set myself on fire up to the elbow. I was drinking absinthe.”

9. Whyyyyy?

“Licked a car cigarette lighter once it was red hot.

Regretted that one for a couple days after.”

10. Major fail.

“Drank a ridiculous amount of alcohol for my body weight to show off to a date.

She had to drive herself back to her town, with my fwb that joined us for the night in the passenger seat, and me dying in the back of my own vehicle from a rotten case of alcohol poisoning.

Never. Fucking. Again. Not surprised she wasn’t into me after that. Hell, I wouldn’t be into me after that.”

11. Sushi time!

“Ate around 50 rolls of sushi at an all you can eat sushi place.

It was one of my first lunch outings with coworkers at my very first full time job, and they took me to an all you can eat sushi buffet. I had the brilliant idea of buying a whole bunch of sushi so I could share.

I didn’t realize until after I was brought this massive plate of rolls that the buffet didn’t allow you to share. What you ordered you had to eat it. And they watched to make sure you did. Also, if you didn’t eat everything off your plate, you had to pay $1.50 for each roll uneaten.

So after a while, everyone else finished their food and I was left with about 35 or so rolls and my manager asked if I thought I would be able to finish. I had this weird shot of anxiety at that moment that I would appear weak in front of my new coworkers if I didn’t.

And that’s where I had this second brilliant ass idea of impressing everyone with my new found competitive-level eating prowess and power ate through a disgusting amount of sushi in about 10 minutes. I think I forced down vomit like 3 times.

Sufficed to say needless display of dominance worked– I had established my title in the group as the one who eats grotesque amounts of food. It felt like this expectation I was supposed to meet every now and then when we would go out to lunch to a buffet.

For example we’d go to an Indian buffet once a week or so and I’d have three or four HEAPING plates of food. In two months, I had put on almost 40 pounds in and I felt absolutely horrible.

Thankfully overtime I was able to build a genuine form of confidence with my coworkers, the pressure of being the competitive eater of lunchtime waned, and I was able to lose most of the weight I put on.

But it was one of the worst things I had ever done to my body for the sake of getting people to like me.”

12. Doing drunk stuff.

“When I was in college I got drunk one night and punched a pint glass.

It ended up slicing my finger really badly, like there was a flap of skin that came up. Went to the bathroom and ran it under water, but it just kept bleeding. I didn’t know what to do and was too drunk to try to deal with it, so I just wrapped my hand in a towel and tried to go to sleep.

Woke up to knocking at my door and it ended up being security. He followed a trail of blood from the bathroom to my room and wanted to make sure I was alright. I showed him my finger and he was like, “Come on, you gotta go to the hospital.” Dude was a bro and drove me there even though it was like 3am.

Saw a doctor and he had to give me a bunch of stitches. He said I was very lucky because if it was just a tiny bit deeper I would have probably had done permanant damage and lost mobility of the finger.

Now I have this scar on my finger shaped like a Nike swoosh to remind me not to be stupid and try to fight glass.”

13. Doesn’t sound like a good idea.

“Chased black bears. Multiple times.

On foot a few times, on dirt bikes & ATVs a bunch of times. Mostly to show that black bears are basically timid and afraid of us.

Full disclosure: alcohol and drugs were generally a part of the equation.”

14. Breakin’ the law!

“Jumped illegally over the China-Myanmar border, and back again.

This was in 2002. I was in China legally, in the town of Ruili, Yunnan Province. Across a small stream and two thin strings of barbed wire was the city of Musé (“White Elephant City”), Myanmar, which was closed to foreigners at the time.

A group of opium addicts were smoking in the thick bushes growing near the border, and invited me over for a chat. I saw no border guards were within line of sight of me, so I did. We had an interesting chat in a mixture of English and Chinese.

Later I wandered into the closest narrow street lined with dilapidated white wooden buildings, with bearded men in sarongs wandering around. I bought a Burmese noodle dish. No alcohol available in that state. Then I high-tailed it back to the same crossing spot and over, about 90min after I first went over.

Ruili, China is (or at least was) a lawless borderland, with all the vices that lawless border towns typically attract. My crossing was the least of the local authorities’ worries. I wouldn’t repeat it or recommend it to anyone, though.”

How about you?

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve done just to show that you could do it?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post People Talk About the Stupidest Things They’ve Done Just to Prove They Could Do It appeared first on UberFacts.

Parents Who Are Craving Some Alone Time: These Tweets Are for You

From the reports I’m hearing from various friends of mine, I’ve learned two things lately…

One: every single person with kids is about to lose their shit because we’ve all been trapped together with our families for months now.

Two: moms and dads really haven’t been able to have ANY alone time at all. And I’m not even talking about with each other, I’m talking about people spending time on their own, alone, enjoying a few moments of peace.

But, by the sounds of it, they definitely need it now more than ever.

Let’s check out these tweets from parents who could really use a little time by themselves.

1. That oughta keep ’em occupied.

At least for a little bit, right?

2. That’s a wild joke that will never happen.

Trust me on this one.

3. Problem solved.

You got nothing to worry about!

4. Not a good idea.

Next time, consider your options.

5. This sounds like paradise.

Am I dreaming?

6. Yes, you must leave.

And take your time!

7. LEAVE ME ALONE.

At least for a little while.

8. It doesn’t exist anymore.

But you can hope for the future…

9. That is a good plan.

And you’re damn right! It sounds glorious!

10. Too late for that.

Any other ideas?

11. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Don’t blow this opportunity.

12. We all knew it wasn’t going to happen.

But we can all wish…

Parents, we sincerely hope that you get some much-deserved alone time very soon.

But before that happens, tell us how it’s going in your household right now. Are you losing your mind? Barely holding on?

Are the kids behaving or are they climbing the walls?

Tell us everything in the comments!

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Parents Who Are Craving Some Alone Time: These Tweets Are for You appeared first on UberFacts.