Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea

You’re gonna want to pay attention to this.

Countless house centipedes have met their fates at the receiving end of a rolled-up magazine, a cup, or a shoe.

But they’re getting a bum rap.

While they’re indeed creepy and crawly, and they’ve certainly sent the heartiest of us out a room screaming, they’re good to have around. If you can get past your squeamishness, it’s best to let them live.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Centipedes are on a constant search for their next meal. They dine on mostly unseen and more problematic insects, including silverfish, termites, moths, flies, and cockroaches.

House centipedes can have anywhere from 15 to 177 pairs of legs, depending on the species. They use them to stun and capture prey with a technique called “lassoing.” With the pair closest to their head, they poison their victims with venom and wrap themselves around the dying insect for a satisfying meal. This bug is also one of the few that doesn’t have a nest or web and isn’t problematic in terms of disease or destruction to your home.

Photo credit: iStock

If you can’t live with house centipedes, the best defense is a good offense.

Start by getting rid of their food. This means reducing moisture with a fan or dehumidifier, sealing off cracks where pests are prone to settle and lay eggs, and keeping trash indoors to a minimum.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Sure, the occasional centipede will still find his way in, no matter what you do. Just resist the urge to whack one out clean out of existence. You’ll reap the benefits of fewer pests and walk away with improved karma.

Do centipedes make you uncomfortable? Let us know in the comments below!

The post Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea appeared first on UberFacts.

Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea

You’re gonna want to pay attention to this.

Countless house centipedes have met their fates at the receiving end of a rolled-up magazine, a cup, or a shoe.

But they’re getting a bum rap.

While they’re indeed creepy and crawly, and they’ve certainly sent the heartiest of us out a room screaming, they’re good to have around. If you can get past your squeamishness, it’s best to let them live.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Centipedes are on a constant search for their next meal. They dine on mostly unseen and more problematic insects, including silverfish, termites, moths, flies, and cockroaches.

House centipedes can have anywhere from 15 to 177 pairs of legs, depending on the species. They use them to stun and capture prey with a technique called “lassoing.” With the pair closest to their head, they poison their victims with venom and wrap themselves around the dying insect for a satisfying meal. This bug is also one of the few that doesn’t have a nest or web and isn’t problematic in terms of disease or destruction to your home.

Photo credit: iStock

If you can’t live with house centipedes, the best defense is a good offense.

Start by getting rid of their food. This means reducing moisture with a fan or dehumidifier, sealing off cracks where pests are prone to settle and lay eggs, and keeping trash indoors to a minimum.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Sure, the occasional centipede will still find his way in, no matter what you do. Just resist the urge to whack one out clean out of existence. You’ll reap the benefits of fewer pests and walk away with improved karma.

Do centipedes make you uncomfortable? Let us know in the comments below!

The post Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea appeared first on UberFacts.

Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder

I have a good friend who’s a nurse and he told me that people come in wayyyyyyy more than you’d think with things stuck in their butts that need to be removed.

Ouch!

And the excuses? They usually sound like total bullshit, as you can probably imagine.

So let’s see exactly what’s going on out there.

AskReddit users shared their painful stories.

1. Let’s try something new.

“Had a guy with a screwdriver up there (handle first).

He was honest. Said the wife wanted to try something new.

Why the screwdriver? Something shaped like a dick would have been gay.

I always thought that was a real weird place to draw that line.”

2. Walking awkwardly.

“Guy comes in, walking kinda awkwardly.

Doesn’t take a seat.

When it’s his turn, he’s called up to triage and again, refuses to sit.

“What brings you in today?” I said.

“I.. uh…. I’ve lost a glass. You know, like a tumbler.”

/Shuffles

“Ok. So, why are you here?”

“Well, we had a party that got out of hand last night. I was cleaning the house this morning and I noticed one of my drinks glasses was missing. And I think it might be up my ass.”

That’s it as far as explanation, but sure enough, there it was on x-ray. Rim-side first, so after it disappeared up his asshole, it basically filled itself with shit.

Now, any time people that know the story ask if I’ve seen something they’ve lost, I ask if they’ve checked their asshole.

3. This is what happened.

“Guy came to my hospital with a cue ball stuck in his rectum. Said him and his wife were having sex and this happened. Made no excuses and showed no shame.

ER doc was unable to remove it with forceps and he had to get anesthesia to have a minor surgical procedure to get it out. My job was basically to just go through a pre surgical check list and send him on his way. When I’m done he shouts excitedly ‘Alright, let’s get this ball rolling!’

I almost died laughing. It was near the end of my shift and I always wonder what happened to him. I’m sure he did fine and is back to having amazing kinky sex with his wife.”

4. Ouch!

“Guy told me he was constipated so he stuck the broom handle up there to break up the poop. I almost believed him.

It was half of a broom handle, cut off and wrapped in electrical tape.

All the way inside…”

5. Fun with Barbie!

“My brother was a triage nurse and examined someone that came in with a barbie doll up their arse….

Don’t know if they were male or female though.”

6. That sounds…terrible.

“My sister is a surgical nurse and a guy came into to the hospital with a pool noodle shoved up his ass. It was so deep that they had to cut open is abdomen, intestines and colon to cut the foam out of him.

He said he “fell on it” while swimming nude. But when they cut him open it had a condom stretched over the end of it.

When they confronted him he said “please don’t tell me wife”.”

7. Back in med school…

“I went to med school in the deep south.

Burly, middle aged southern gentleman showed up in the ED. Chief complaint: rectal pain. After a full history, and physical examination couldn’t ascertain the case of his pain other than him saying “feels like something’s up there,” we decided to start with some X-rays.

Before we obtained them, he says: “Alright I’m gonna be square with you. I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when these thugs jumped me out of nowhere, and held me down and stuck a cucumber up my butt. Please you got to get it out.”

I immediately went to get my attending. One surgical consult and G.I. consult later, a cucumber WRAPPED IN A CONDOM was extracted from this man’s rectum.”

8. Loads of stories.

“Friend is a stomach surgeon so always gets called in to pull things out of arses.

He has loads of stories but the one I remember is a guy who had a glass ketchup bottle up his arse. He’d claimed to have returned home with his grocery shopping, realised he’d lost his key so put shopping down and attempted to climb through a high window.

He slipped, fell backwards arse-first onto his groceries and SHLUM! The ketchup bottle just shot up his a-hole. (Ignore that guy was presumably not naked at time).

After removing it at the hospital, my Dr friend said ‘Thats strange. The ketchup you bought is only half full.’

I think the worst thing is that it suggests he was gonna eat the rest of it another time.”

9. Sounds painful.

“A light bulb.

You could always tell when someone came in to the ER with something lodged in their rectum because everyone would be standing around looking at the X-ray. It was still in perfect light bulb shape.

I have no idea how the patient got it up there without breaking it.”

10. If you loved me…

“Had a patient who showed up with his soon-to-be ex-wife. They were “reconciling” at a nearby motel. She convinced him that if he loved her, he would let her put a dildo in his ass. Only it wasn’t a dildo, it was her vibrator without a flared base.

Rule number one of anal play is make sure that it has a flared base. Rule number two is nothing sharp.

The whole thing went up there and he couldn’t get it out. I had to take it out under anesthesia. She felt awful and was crying the whole time. He was a very blue collar, normal dude and she was dressed in very fancy clothes.

An unlikely match in my mind. He was just happy that they were at my urban hospital and not the uppity town about 15 miles away where they lived.

I often wonder what became of them and their marriage.”

11. I don’t remember…

“A glass water bottle in his ass and he’s desperately trying to find an excuse (not one would really ask at that point actually ) he finally said: I don’t remember who put it there.

Couldn’t you just fell from some stairs or something?”

12. Very interesting…

“My friend is a nurse.

She told me about a guy who came into her ER. He claimed to have fallen out of a tree and a branch went right up his ass. They x rayed him and he had this perfectly round wooden rod up his ass. When they removed it they saw that it was sanded, painted and primed.

That branch must’ve come from a genetically modified species of tree lol.

Do you have any particularly embarrassing medical stories?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder appeared first on UberFacts.

Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder

I have a good friend who’s a nurse and he told me that people come in wayyyyyyy more than you’d think with things stuck in their butts that need to be removed.

Ouch!

And the excuses? They usually sound like total bullshit, as you can probably imagine.

So let’s see exactly what’s going on out there.

AskReddit users shared their painful stories.

1. Let’s try something new.

“Had a guy with a screwdriver up there (handle first).

He was honest. Said the wife wanted to try something new.

Why the screwdriver? Something shaped like a dick would have been gay.

I always thought that was a real weird place to draw that line.”

2. Walking awkwardly.

“Guy comes in, walking kinda awkwardly.

Doesn’t take a seat.

When it’s his turn, he’s called up to triage and again, refuses to sit.

“What brings you in today?” I said.

“I.. uh…. I’ve lost a glass. You know, like a tumbler.”

/Shuffles

“Ok. So, why are you here?”

“Well, we had a party that got out of hand last night. I was cleaning the house this morning and I noticed one of my drinks glasses was missing. And I think it might be up my ass.”

That’s it as far as explanation, but sure enough, there it was on x-ray. Rim-side first, so after it disappeared up his asshole, it basically filled itself with shit.

Now, any time people that know the story ask if I’ve seen something they’ve lost, I ask if they’ve checked their asshole.

3. This is what happened.

“Guy came to my hospital with a cue ball stuck in his rectum. Said him and his wife were having sex and this happened. Made no excuses and showed no shame.

ER doc was unable to remove it with forceps and he had to get anesthesia to have a minor surgical procedure to get it out. My job was basically to just go through a pre surgical check list and send him on his way. When I’m done he shouts excitedly ‘Alright, let’s get this ball rolling!’

I almost died laughing. It was near the end of my shift and I always wonder what happened to him. I’m sure he did fine and is back to having amazing kinky sex with his wife.”

4. Ouch!

“Guy told me he was constipated so he stuck the broom handle up there to break up the poop. I almost believed him.

It was half of a broom handle, cut off and wrapped in electrical tape.

All the way inside…”

5. Fun with Barbie!

“My brother was a triage nurse and examined someone that came in with a barbie doll up their arse….

Don’t know if they were male or female though.”

6. That sounds…terrible.

“My sister is a surgical nurse and a guy came into to the hospital with a pool noodle shoved up his ass. It was so deep that they had to cut open is abdomen, intestines and colon to cut the foam out of him.

He said he “fell on it” while swimming nude. But when they cut him open it had a condom stretched over the end of it.

When they confronted him he said “please don’t tell me wife”.”

7. Back in med school…

“I went to med school in the deep south.

Burly, middle aged southern gentleman showed up in the ED. Chief complaint: rectal pain. After a full history, and physical examination couldn’t ascertain the case of his pain other than him saying “feels like something’s up there,” we decided to start with some X-rays.

Before we obtained them, he says: “Alright I’m gonna be square with you. I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when these thugs jumped me out of nowhere, and held me down and stuck a cucumber up my butt. Please you got to get it out.”

I immediately went to get my attending. One surgical consult and G.I. consult later, a cucumber WRAPPED IN A CONDOM was extracted from this man’s rectum.”

8. Loads of stories.

“Friend is a stomach surgeon so always gets called in to pull things out of arses.

He has loads of stories but the one I remember is a guy who had a glass ketchup bottle up his arse. He’d claimed to have returned home with his grocery shopping, realised he’d lost his key so put shopping down and attempted to climb through a high window.

He slipped, fell backwards arse-first onto his groceries and SHLUM! The ketchup bottle just shot up his a-hole. (Ignore that guy was presumably not naked at time).

After removing it at the hospital, my Dr friend said ‘Thats strange. The ketchup you bought is only half full.’

I think the worst thing is that it suggests he was gonna eat the rest of it another time.”

9. Sounds painful.

“A light bulb.

You could always tell when someone came in to the ER with something lodged in their rectum because everyone would be standing around looking at the X-ray. It was still in perfect light bulb shape.

I have no idea how the patient got it up there without breaking it.”

10. If you loved me…

“Had a patient who showed up with his soon-to-be ex-wife. They were “reconciling” at a nearby motel. She convinced him that if he loved her, he would let her put a dildo in his ass. Only it wasn’t a dildo, it was her vibrator without a flared base.

Rule number one of anal play is make sure that it has a flared base. Rule number two is nothing sharp.

The whole thing went up there and he couldn’t get it out. I had to take it out under anesthesia. She felt awful and was crying the whole time. He was a very blue collar, normal dude and she was dressed in very fancy clothes.

An unlikely match in my mind. He was just happy that they were at my urban hospital and not the uppity town about 15 miles away where they lived.

I often wonder what became of them and their marriage.”

11. I don’t remember…

“A glass water bottle in his ass and he’s desperately trying to find an excuse (not one would really ask at that point actually ) he finally said: I don’t remember who put it there.

Couldn’t you just fell from some stairs or something?”

12. Very interesting…

“My friend is a nurse.

She told me about a guy who came into her ER. He claimed to have fallen out of a tree and a branch went right up his ass. They x rayed him and he had this perfectly round wooden rod up his ass. When they removed it they saw that it was sanded, painted and primed.

That branch must’ve come from a genetically modified species of tree lol.

Do you have any particularly embarrassing medical stories?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder appeared first on UberFacts.

Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A**

Imagine walking into the emergency room and having to explain this kind of problem to a doctor…

That would be totally humiliating.

But it happens. A lot. Probably way more than any of us realize.

Let’s check out these TRUE stories from AskReddit users.

1. I slipped.

“My mom told me about this one when she was doing rounds in the ER.

Guy came in with a bottle of Worcestershire up his butt. Said he was making a sandwich in the shower and slipped and fell on it.”

2. Honesty…

“I have the worst, but possibly the most honest response I’ve gotten.

I was an EMT and ran a call at a methadone clinic. She was a 28 year old female who had possibly OD’d. When we got there she was sitting on the ground completely naked.

My captain asked what was up her ass to which I responded quickly as “trashbag sir” For some reason there was a contractor bag jammed right up her anus. My captain ordered me to remove it and it felt like I was a magician pulling a bunch of napkins out of a dove, or whatever magicians do.

She looks at me without a word. Until I asked her why there was a trash bag up her ass, at which point she responded ” we didn’t have a condom”

This was my second week on the job.”

3. Disgusting!

“I once had to take a guy to the OR to remove a cucumber from his rectum since it had migrated up further than could be extracted manually.

I don’t remember his excuse, but it had been in there for more than a week and when we took it out it had started to pickle…”

4. Air freshener.

“20 years ago, an ex was an ER nurse. A guy came in with a Magic Mushroom air freshener stuck up in there. He was embarrassed, and did not even attempt to explain it.

She said that when the doctor got it out, he said “Funny. It doesn’t smell pine fresh?” And everybody laughed. I am kind of surprised that didn’t lead to a lawsuit.”

5. Wow…

“RN here.

Had a Jehovahs Witness gentleman admitted to ICU with his bowels perforated. States he had constipation so he decided he needed a cleaning. He happens to do pipework so he hooked some pipes up to the hose then inserted the other end in his rectum to just give it the ol’ swish and dump.

Burst his colon from the pressure and/or the hard pipe crammed up his butt. Unfortunate thing was he needed a blood transfusion but oops, he’s a Jehovahs Witness so no go. I learned then that they actually send a group of people to the hospital to watch you and make sure you don’t stray from your faith.

I always wondered what he told them….”

6. Lost count…

“I’ve lost count how many rectal foreign bodies I’ve removed.

But there was this one kid, well teenager. He got a AA battery stuck up his butt. Told his mom that he had been experiencing constipation and thought his butthole was just too small for the poop to get through, so he was trying to dilate it with the battery.

Umm… yeah… OK.

The kicker was that his mom completely bought this story, and she’s there telling me how this whole thing happened to her precious, innocent son.”

7. Happy holidays!

“A Christmas tree.

Not a doctor, my dads coworker had to have an artificial Christmas tree removed from his ass. Getting decorations off the attic, floor fell through, and he crashed through the ceiling and straight onto the Christmas tree.

He had to be airlifted to the hospital. They said the pressure from his jeans getting rammed up there when he fell is probably what saved him from bleeding out. No I don’t know how far it went up there and I don’t want to ask.”

8. It was still on!

“Friend of mine was doing an ED rotation as a medical student and they had a guy come in around 8pm saying he’d internalized something and couldn’t get it out.

They did the triage and asked him to sit down in the waiting area until a doctor was available. For the next few minutes there’s a really strange humming sound every now and then – which they eventually figured out was because the vibrator was still on.

Turns out usually people wait for the batteries to die before coming to hospital, but this fellow had to pick his wife up from the airport at midnight and didn’t have time to wait.”

9. Let’s get to the truth.

“One claimed that he was assaulted and the perp stuck up a dildo up his behind after the attack. He wouldn’t admitted foul play until we were going to call police.

The second one claimed that “he accidentally fell on this candle cup stand (the most common excuse used by these people).”

10. Attached.

“I was a student at the time working in the ER when medics brought in a couple “attached” to each other.

According to them, they were at a pool party when 1) the lights went out 2) as they were swimming around in the dark, they both felt something “crawl” up their asses…Anal beads. One end in the female, the other in the male.

My friend thinks the reason behind this story is because BOTH their significant others were in the waiting room…”

11. Wasn’t paying attention…

“Not a physician yet – still in medical school. On a shadowing rotation, a young woman came into the ER with a cucumber up her butt. When prompted why and how it got there, she responded with “I wasn’t paying attention while I was cooking”.

Her boyfriend had a different story…”

12. Don’t do drugs.

“Mom worked in admitting for the ER.

Guy came in with flashlight stuck.

She asked why he had done it and he said “well, I was on drugs and it seemed like a good idea. Sober me disagrees”.”

13. I’m not buying that…

“Just last week, my patient said she swallowed a toothbrush as a teen, 20 years ago, when asked about the toothbrush in her colon.”

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever had to admit something totally embarrassing to a doctor?

Or maybe you are a health professional and have heard some real doozies in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A** appeared first on UberFacts.

Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A**

Imagine walking into the emergency room and having to explain this kind of problem to a doctor…

That would be totally humiliating.

But it happens. A lot. Probably way more than any of us realize.

Let’s check out these TRUE stories from AskReddit users.

1. I slipped.

“My mom told me about this one when she was doing rounds in the ER.

Guy came in with a bottle of Worcestershire up his butt. Said he was making a sandwich in the shower and slipped and fell on it.”

2. Honesty…

“I have the worst, but possibly the most honest response I’ve gotten.

I was an EMT and ran a call at a methadone clinic. She was a 28 year old female who had possibly OD’d. When we got there she was sitting on the ground completely naked.

My captain asked what was up her ass to which I responded quickly as “trashbag sir” For some reason there was a contractor bag jammed right up her anus. My captain ordered me to remove it and it felt like I was a magician pulling a bunch of napkins out of a dove, or whatever magicians do.

She looks at me without a word. Until I asked her why there was a trash bag up her ass, at which point she responded ” we didn’t have a condom”

This was my second week on the job.”

3. Disgusting!

“I once had to take a guy to the OR to remove a cucumber from his rectum since it had migrated up further than could be extracted manually.

I don’t remember his excuse, but it had been in there for more than a week and when we took it out it had started to pickle…”

4. Air freshener.

“20 years ago, an ex was an ER nurse. A guy came in with a Magic Mushroom air freshener stuck up in there. He was embarrassed, and did not even attempt to explain it.

She said that when the doctor got it out, he said “Funny. It doesn’t smell pine fresh?” And everybody laughed. I am kind of surprised that didn’t lead to a lawsuit.”

5. Wow…

“RN here.

Had a Jehovahs Witness gentleman admitted to ICU with his bowels perforated. States he had constipation so he decided he needed a cleaning. He happens to do pipework so he hooked some pipes up to the hose then inserted the other end in his rectum to just give it the ol’ swish and dump.

Burst his colon from the pressure and/or the hard pipe crammed up his butt. Unfortunate thing was he needed a blood transfusion but oops, he’s a Jehovahs Witness so no go. I learned then that they actually send a group of people to the hospital to watch you and make sure you don’t stray from your faith.

I always wondered what he told them….”

6. Lost count…

“I’ve lost count how many rectal foreign bodies I’ve removed.

But there was this one kid, well teenager. He got a AA battery stuck up his butt. Told his mom that he had been experiencing constipation and thought his butthole was just too small for the poop to get through, so he was trying to dilate it with the battery.

Umm… yeah… OK.

The kicker was that his mom completely bought this story, and she’s there telling me how this whole thing happened to her precious, innocent son.”

7. Happy holidays!

“A Christmas tree.

Not a doctor, my dads coworker had to have an artificial Christmas tree removed from his ass. Getting decorations off the attic, floor fell through, and he crashed through the ceiling and straight onto the Christmas tree.

He had to be airlifted to the hospital. They said the pressure from his jeans getting rammed up there when he fell is probably what saved him from bleeding out. No I don’t know how far it went up there and I don’t want to ask.”

8. It was still on!

“Friend of mine was doing an ED rotation as a medical student and they had a guy come in around 8pm saying he’d internalized something and couldn’t get it out.

They did the triage and asked him to sit down in the waiting area until a doctor was available. For the next few minutes there’s a really strange humming sound every now and then – which they eventually figured out was because the vibrator was still on.

Turns out usually people wait for the batteries to die before coming to hospital, but this fellow had to pick his wife up from the airport at midnight and didn’t have time to wait.”

9. Let’s get to the truth.

“One claimed that he was assaulted and the perp stuck up a dildo up his behind after the attack. He wouldn’t admitted foul play until we were going to call police.

The second one claimed that “he accidentally fell on this candle cup stand (the most common excuse used by these people).”

10. Attached.

“I was a student at the time working in the ER when medics brought in a couple “attached” to each other.

According to them, they were at a pool party when 1) the lights went out 2) as they were swimming around in the dark, they both felt something “crawl” up their asses…Anal beads. One end in the female, the other in the male.

My friend thinks the reason behind this story is because BOTH their significant others were in the waiting room…”

11. Wasn’t paying attention…

“Not a physician yet – still in medical school. On a shadowing rotation, a young woman came into the ER with a cucumber up her butt. When prompted why and how it got there, she responded with “I wasn’t paying attention while I was cooking”.

Her boyfriend had a different story…”

12. Don’t do drugs.

“Mom worked in admitting for the ER.

Guy came in with flashlight stuck.

She asked why he had done it and he said “well, I was on drugs and it seemed like a good idea. Sober me disagrees”.”

13. I’m not buying that…

“Just last week, my patient said she swallowed a toothbrush as a teen, 20 years ago, when asked about the toothbrush in her colon.”

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever had to admit something totally embarrassing to a doctor?

Or maybe you are a health professional and have heard some real doozies in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A** appeared first on UberFacts.

Health Care Professionals Talk About People Who Came in With Objects Stuck in Their Butts

That was a terrible accident!

I don’t know how that got there!

Where am I?

Doctors hear all kinds of bogus excuses and stories, particularly when it comes to things that ARE STUCK IN SOMEONE’S ASS.

And yes, these things apparently happen all the time.

Are you ready to be entertained?

Let’s take a look at these stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. OH MY GOD.

“A college friend who is an OR nurse said the best thing she ever witnessed was a small snow globe with the message “World’s Greatest Dad” on the inside.”

2. Love triangle.

“Saw someone with a remote control stuck way up in their colon. She said she was “getting herself ready,” for anal sex with her boyfriend and then it got stuck.

The kicker was that she showed up to the hospital with her boyfriend AND her husband in tow!”

3. Mom!

“My ex is a ER nurse.

One night she sent me a pic of her computer of what she was working on. 16yo male brought in by his mother. Shoved a sausage up his ass and “lost” it. Imagine the embarrassment of telling mom … hey mom. I lost a sausage in my ass. Can you take me to the ER.

Fuckin kids.”

4. Come on, buddy…

“Had one guy tell me he slipped on a banana peel and landed on the upright vase on the floor.

He then proceeded to produce a banana peel for good measure.”

5. Holy sh*t.

“When I was a student working in an ER a guy came in with an unraveled wire hanger stuck and hooked up there.

He said he was trying to fish out the vibrator he lost.”

6. Hello?

“Guy came in with a cordless phone up his ass, like one of the old-school ones from 15 years ago.

He said that when he was in the kitchen bending over opening the oven door, someone threw it through his open window and it just went right up.”

7. An accident.

“It always boils down to the person “accidentally” sat on it.

The best my dad saw – a former emergency doctor – was a young guy who “accidentally” sat on a giant tub of vaseline. Accidentally.

I asked how doctors record that in their patient files, and the common way to do so is to say “the patient claims to have sat on x object.””

8. Don’t do that anymore, sir.

“Had this elderly guy come in with a cucumber up there. First month of residency, so my attending asks why did you put that up there? Guy, dead normal, says “well it was just like every Tuesday. I woke up, made some coffee, and sat on a cucumber.”

Stifling laughter my attending just said, “sir you shouldn’t do that anymore.”

He says “ok.” We removed it and never saw him again.”

9. That’s messed up.

“ER nurse: “I tried to dig something out of my ass with a BBQ skewer.”

Skewer got stuck. Ripped a hole in his intestines. He waited so long to come in he was septic. One STAT OR visit and an ICU stay later, “please don’t call my mom”.

Guy was tripping hard on LSD.”

10. Still telling jokes!

“Guy puts a vibrator (one of the massive cordless wand types) waaaaay up there, like a mega seed, and it gets sucked into the sigmoid colon.

When he gets to me in the ER I ask him how he was feeling. He answered, “well doc, I’m way better since the batteries died.”

Made my night.”

11. Honestly is the best policy.

“”I stuck it up there on purpose and now it’s stuck. Please help”

It was a perfectly honest and valid reason for have something stuck up your ass, and we helped. No further questions needed.”

12. I went to investigate.

“Presented at ER in Sydney with carrot stuck in the arse. Doctor: “What happened?”

Patient: ” I heard a noise in the garden. Went to investigate. Slipped and fell over. Carrot went up my bum.”

Doctor: “Carrots grow upside-down out your way huh?””

13. Naked gardening.

“Mostly bottles or vegetables. The aubergine was the biggest but potatoes and carrots seem to be popular.

Ketchup, mayo and glass cola bottles were common at one point. Also one butt plug and a toilet brush.

The last two were honest and very distraught. Others all had naked gardening stories.

There’s an even worse question you haven’t asked which is for things people have shoved up their urethras, only men in my experience.”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about some embarrassing medical stories that either happened to you or that you know about.

Please and thank you!

The post Health Care Professionals Talk About People Who Came in With Objects Stuck in Their Butts appeared first on UberFacts.

Facts We Think You Will Find Very Interesting

I sound like a broken record, but we think it’s really important to keep showering you with quality facts because you always need to keep learning!

You shouldn’t stop being curious about the world after high school, or after college, or after age 40. I know people who are in their 70s who love to read about new subjects because they know how rewarding it is to be a lifelong learner.

So in the spirit of always learning, here are 10 facts that we think you will find incredibly interesting.

Enjoy!

1. Remember Total Recall?

That does not sound like fun…

Photo Credit: did you know?

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2. Stop tailgating!

Drives me insane.

Photo Credit: did you know?

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3. Loudest sound of all time.

And here I thought it was my mother-in-law’s voice! Hey o!

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

4. This is so weird.

And also fascinating!

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

5. The flu shell.

Ugh. I’m sick of all viruses…

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 

6. Very interesting…

What do you think?

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

7. That is wild!

Isn’t nature just great?

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

8. A fungus among us.

That is ENORMOUS. Wow!

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

9. Take a look at your Chuck Taylors.

I didn’t know that!

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

10. I love this!

Cheech and Chong for President and Vice President! Think it might happen…?

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1

Now we’d like to hear from you!

In the comments, please tell us about something really interesting that you’ve learned recently.

Share a link, a photo, or just tell us about it.

Thanks in advance!

The post Facts We Think You Will Find Very Interesting appeared first on UberFacts.

This Fluffy Galaxy Captured by the Hubble Telescope’s Camera Is Truly Amazing

Space is full of different shapes, sizes, and colors. There’s the vibrant blue of Earth’s oceans, the cheese-like exterior of the moon, the octopus-esque tentacles of galaxies — the list goes on and on.

Scientists also use the word “flocculent” to describe some galaxies, including one recently captured by the camera on the NASA?ESA Hubble Space Telescope. Translated into English, flocculent basically means fluffy.

Yes, that’s right, the world’s pre-eminent researchers and scientists just described a galaxy as fluffy! And just look at how adorable this fluffy little guy really is:

Photo Credit: ESA/Hubble & Nasa, J. Lee and the Phangs-Hst Team

This striking photograph shows a galaxy that goes by the name NGC 2275. It’s far, far away from us here on Earth, located 67 million light-years away. It’s situated within the Cancer constellation.

NASA noted its “delicate, feathery nature,” which you can see super clearly from this crisp image. Those spiral arms are made up of millions of young stars, contrasted with lanes of dark space dust. The stars are young and hot, which makes them appear blue.

According to NASA….

“Complexes of these hot, blue stars are thought to trigger star formation in nearby gas clouds.

The overall feather-like spiral patterns of the arms are then formed by shearing of the gas clouds as the galaxy rotates.”

The space agency says that the fluffiness also indicates relatively quiet star formation in the galaxy.

NASA says,

“There is virtually no star formation in the central part of the galaxy, which is dominated by an unusually large and relatively empty galactic bulge, where all the gas was converted into stars long ago.”

How cool is that? The Hubble telescope has really opened up our ability to analyze and understand space, including these interesting little details.

What’s your favorite element of space? Do you have a particular planet or feature that you’re particularly partial to for some reason?

We’d love to hear from you!

Let us know in the comments!

The post This Fluffy Galaxy Captured by the Hubble Telescope’s Camera Is Truly Amazing appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Claim to Be Adults but Know Nothing About Human Anatomy

It’s really surprising, some of the things people can make it all the way to adulthood without knowing. Sometimes it’s little stuff, and it sort of makes sense that you might not know, or like, maybe you just zoned out in high school history class (who didn’t?).

But when it comes to totally blanking on the human anatomy as an adult (sometimes with kids?) it can be stunning, and not in a good way.

These 15 people had some major fails in that area. Like, yikes.

15. The second one legit cracked me up. A pocket.

When I was 16 I had a guy friend put his hands on either side of my stomach and ask me if he squeezed hard enough would all of my period come out at once and be done with for the month.

The following year I was at the mall with a different guy friend and it happened to be the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual Sale where they put all the panties in big boxes separated by size and you kind of rifle through to find the style you like. We were both going through boxes and he held one up and goes, “This one has a pocket!” He was taking about the crotch lining.

14. This guy definitely doesn’t know how anything female works.

A guy in my year saw me buying stuff for my period when i was about 15 years old. He looked at me and muttered slut under his breath… unsure if he really understood what a period was???

13. I don’t know why this is supposed to be embarrassing?

Don’t know if this counts, but a couple friends and I were getting out of the pool, and of course it got cold, so my nips were noticeable, and a male friend commented on it like I could somehow change this fact as we were heading back to the room (from his perspective he didn’t want me to be embarrassed since we were still kind of in public, and he wasn’t sure if I had noticed my own body; of course it had the opposite effect, and of course I know they are noticeable). My other friend was like “dude, why point hers out when she didn’t say anything bout yours.”

12. That’s not how cancer (or cervixes) work.

Recently my aunt got cervical cancer. My uncle wasn’t feeling well and thought he may have gotten cervical cancer from her.

11. Um but yes I’ll go home early.

My boss offered to send me home early because he saw the tampon (fresh out of the box, still in wrapper) and got uncomfortable. Like, thanks and all but I live with this shit for a week every month, I’m all good.

10. It’s surprising how many people don’t know how many holes there are.

I was told once that women should “clean out their vagina before sex in case there’s pee in there still”, obviously thinking we pee from the same hole. And forgetting men DO pee from the same hole.

Should note that we all received decent sex Ed at the time but most of the lads sat at the back of the class giggling and making rude comments whenever female anatomy came up so they learned nothing.

9. Okay let’s all quit I’m game.

“Wearing bras gives you breast cancer.”

Yeah. Thanks dad. You could have just told me you didn’t want to take me bra shopping that day.

8. See also: can’t you just hold it in?

“just pee out all the blood and finish your period”

7. Ohhhhh this is sort of adorable but also wut.

Not a female and telling on myself here, but when my wife was pregnant with our first child, I stupidly asked how old he’d be before his eyes were going to open (due to the fact that I had only had dealings with puppies and kittens being born at that point in my life). That was 13 years ago and still gets brought up whenever I get too sure of myself on any unrelated subject matter.

6. This is a grown man who has procreated.

I was visiting my father when I got my period when I was around 13-14, it was the first time I had been staying at his place when it happened to I had nothing there and wasn’t prepared so I had to ask him to take me to the store. SO we go to the store down the aisle and he grabs a box of pads but I was use to using tampons, so I just said “no no dad i actually use these” and grabbed a box of tampons and up to the register we went. Then we get into the car and we sit, he doesn’t start it, just sits there, sighs, and then looks as me completely serious and goes “I thought you had to be a non-virgin to use tampons!?” hahaha No Dad, You don’t have to be a “non-vigrin” to use tampons, never let him live it down,

5. I hate all of this story except the last bit.

My ex asked me how I knew my period was over. He was 21 at the time. Now, that wouldn’t have even been that bad, but I started to explain how the flow gets lighter until it eventually stops and he cut me off. Said it was gross and he regretted asking.

He also thought any pubic hair on a woman was gross. I get wanting it tidy, but he thought all women should be shaved/waxed all the time. And no, his pubic area was never hair-free.

My only regret was not breaking up with him sooner.

4. Can HE control HIS headaches?

A friend told me that once she made a comment about having cramps and a headache to her boyfriend and he got all disgusted and said “Well can’t you control that? Like make it stop?”

Not the main reason she dumped him but I’m sure it didn’t help.

3. That’s definitely not how any of this works?

I know a man who assumed that smaller girls must have tiny vaginas & would break in half during sex with a large penis but big girls had huge vaginas and it would take a huge man to even please them. He was 28 years old…

2. Like he thought she’d never used them before then?

My ex commented that my tampons were “huge”….Because he had no idea that there is an applicator involved..

To be fair, it was very endearing on a different occasion, when I came home after asking him to pick up a box of tampons for me and he had the little instruction pamphlet spread out on the kitchen table like a road map and greeted me with a dead serious “ok, so here’s what we have to do!”

1. Bless his little pea pickin’ heart.

I’ve known more than one man who believed that women need to pee after sex to push the cum out in order to reduce chances of pregnancy – and would get suspicious of me if I didn’t immediately go pee.. like I was intentionally trying to get pregnant despite having been on birth control at the time.

Just HOW, you guys? I really need to know!

Have you ever encountered a moment like this? We want to hear about it in the comments!

The post People Who Claim to Be Adults but Know Nothing About Human Anatomy appeared first on UberFacts.