“Please Hate These Things” Is an Instagram Account for the World’s Worst Designs

There’s a niche for just about everything on the Internet – even for people who want to come together to deride and hate on stuff together: it’s called Twitter.

JK!

Enter the IG account “Please Hate These Things,” a place for people looking for the what-not-to-do of the design world.

Kind of like an opposite-Joanna Gaines, I suppose.

Here are 15 of the worst of the worst, and y’all. They’re really, really bad.

15. Straight from the Playboy Mansion yard sale.

14. Are you going to be selling movie tickets?

13. It’s nice…if you want to die.

12. They forgot puke.

11. This just cannot be real.

10. What even is the point of this though?

9. Are they going to be high-diving off the top?

8. There’s just no way this was an accident.

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TGIWTF

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7. A house for Catwoman?

6. This takes saving space to the extreme.

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Time to watch my soaps!

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5. What? No, those won’t be in the way at all!

4. This is legitimately terrifying.

3. I don’t know where to look.

2. Is this the setting for a horror movie?

1. That would drive me slowly insane.

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Not quite.

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I’m torn between wishing I hadn’t seen any of that and being thrilled someone is out there compiling these pictures.

Did you love these? Did they drive you mad? I can’t decide!

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Millions of Americans Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

I’ve never thought about the fact that people over the age of 5 might think strawberry, chocolate, and regular milks come from different color cows, but, I mean, if no one ever told you differently…I suppose it could still make sense?

Aside from the fact that you’ve never actually seen a pink cow.

Then again, I live in the middle of the country, where cows appear regularly on the side of the road. So maybe I should give coastal city folk a break?

 

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NAH – this is ridiculous.

It turns out that A LOT of adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. How many, you ask?

Well, according to the Innovation Center for US Dairy’s website, around 16.4 million people across the country.

They know this because they commissioned a survey to see, which found that 7% of respondents think brown cows equal chocolate milk.

Yep, right out of the udder.

This despite the fact that their official statement (and common sense) says, “Chocolate milk – or any flavored milk for that matter – is white cow’s milk with added flavoring and sweeteners.”

And get this: 48% of respondents – which would mean over 154 million people nationally, if the survey statistics were extrapolated to the country as a whole – admitted they aren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from. As in, maybe it comes from a brown cow? Who knows??

A few more fun facts that emerged from the same survey:

37% of Americans admit to drinking milk straight out of the carton in the fridge (YIKES).

And 29% of Americans buy chocolate milk “for the kids,” but really they just want an excuse to drink it themselves.

As far as the latter, I hope by the time their kids move out they can own what they like and drink it all day like a m-fing adult (who may not know where it comes from). Because chocolate milk, brown cow or no, is delicious.

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Remember the Story About the Waitress Who Sued Hooters for Giving Her a Toy Yoda Instead of a Toyota?

In our strange world of social media and online news, stories that went “viral” a long time ago reappear out of the blue for some reason. Can we explain it? No, but we roll with it, that’s for sure! And this tale is pretty funny, too.

Let’s turn back the clock to 2001…

A woman named Jodee Berry was working as a waitress at Hooters in Florida (of course) all those years ago when her restaurant held a contest among its workers: whoever got the best beer sales would win a new Toyota…err…make that a “Toy Yoda.” Ouch.

Hooters

Berry worked hard and knocked her beer sales out of the park. When the big day came for her to get her prize, a brand new car or so she thought, she was instead presented with a toy version of Yoda from Star Wars in a box. Berry was PISSED, as I’m sure a lot of us would be.

A new Toy Yoda indeed 😁

Posted by David Marshall on Wednesday, July 17, 2019

She was so pissed, in fact, that she not only quit her job at Hooters but she ended up suing the restaurant. The folks at the restaurant claimed the whole thing was just a big April Fools’ joke. A year later, Berry and the company that owns Hooters settled outside of court. Berry’s attorney said that the settlement was enough so that Berry could “pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants.”

I think I would be pretty pissed off too, to tell you the truth. What would you do in this situation? Poor Ms. Berry…

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You Have to Check out This ‘Humans of New York’ Interviewee’s Wild Life Story

This woman needs to have a movie made about her life ASAP. I know I’d go see it without a doubt.

But let’s back up a second. Humans of New York is a website that interviews people on the streets of New York and reports their stories. It’s a great way to get slice-of-life tales from regular folks.

Recently, a woman named Tanqueray was interviewed for the site, and, boy, did she tell amazing stories about her life. Here’s how Tanqueray began her life story.

“My mom threw me out of the house at seventeen for getting pregnant, then had me arrested when I tried to get my clothes. Then she fucked the head of parole to try to keep me in jail. She was some prime pussy back then. But the warden did some tests on me and found out I was smart, so I got a scholarship to go anywhere in New York. I chose the Fashion Institute of Technology, which I hated.

But by that time I was already getting work making costumes for the strippers and porn stars in Times Square. All my friends were gay people, because they never judged me. All I did was gay bars: drag queen contests, Crisco Disco, I loved the whole scene. And I couldn’t get enough of the costumes.

My friend Paris used to sit at the bar and sell stolen clothes from Bergdorf and Lord and Taylors, back before they had sensor tags. So I had the best wardrobe: mink coats, 5 inch heels, stockings with seams up the back. I looked like a drag queen, honey. One night a Hasidic rabbi tried to pick me up because he thought I was a tranny. I had to tell him: ‘Baby, this is real fish!””

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“My mom threw me out of the house at seventeen for getting pregnant, then had me arrested when I tried to get my clothes. Then she fucked the head of parole to try to keep me in jail. She was some prime pussy back then. But the warden did some tests on me and found out I was smart, so I got a scholarship to go anywhere in New York. I chose the Fashion Institute of Technology, which I hated. But by that time I was already getting work making costumes for the strippers and porn stars in Times Square. All my friends were gay people, because they never judged me. All I did was gay bars: drag queen contests, Crisco Disco, I loved the whole scene. And I couldn’t get enough of the costumes. My friend Paris used to sit at the bar and sell stolen clothes from Bergdorf and Lord and Taylors, back before they had sensor tags. So I had the best wardrobe: mink coats, 5 inch heels, stockings with seams up the back. I looked like a drag queen, honey. One night a Hasidic rabbi tried to pick me up because he thought I was a tranny. I had to tell him: ‘Baby, this is real fish!”

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I mean…wow.

But Tanqueray wasn’t done. Here’s the second installment of her life story.

“My stripper name was Tanqueray. Back in the seventies I was the only black girl making white girl money. I danced in so many mob clubs that I learned Italian. Black girls weren’t even allowed in some of these places. Nothing but guidos with their pinky rings and the one long fingernail they used for cocaine.

I even did a full twenty minutes in the place they filmed Saturday Night Fever. But I made my real money on the road. Three grand on some trips. Every time Fort Dix had their pay day, they’d bring me in as a feature and call me ‘Ms. Black Universe’ or some shit like that. I had this magic trick where I’d put baby bottle tops on my nipples and squirt real milk, then I’d pull a cherry out of my G-string and feed it to the guy in the front row.

But I never used dildos on stage or any shit like that. Never fucked the booking agents. Never fucked the clients. In fact, one night after a show, I caught another dancer sneaking off to the Tate Hotel with our biggest tipper. Not allowed. So the next night we put a little itching powder in her G-string. Boy did she put on a show that night.

Didn’t see her again until ‘The Longest Yard’ with Burt Reynolds. So I guess she finally fucked the right one.”

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“My stripper name was Tanqueray. Back in the seventies I was the only black girl making white girl money. I danced in so many mob clubs that I learned Italian. Black girls weren’t even allowed in some of these places. Nothing but guidos with their pinky rings and the one long fingernail they used for cocaine. I even did a full twenty minutes in the place they filmed Saturday Night Fever. But I made my real money on the road. Three grand on some trips. Every time Fort Dix had their pay day, they’d bring me in as a feature and call me ‘Ms. Black Universe’ or some shit like that. I had this magic trick where I’d put baby bottle tops on my nipples and squirt real milk, then I’d pull a cherry out of my G-string and feed it to the guy in the front row. But I never used dildos on stage or any shit like that. Never fucked the booking agents. Never fucked the clients. In fact, one night after a show, I caught another dancer sneaking off to the Tate Hotel with our biggest tipper. Not allowed. So the next night we put a little itching powder in her G-string. Boy did she put on a show that night. Didn’t see her again until ‘The Longest Yard’ with Burt Reynolds. So I guess she finally fucked the right one.”

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Are you ready for more? Let’s see what else Tanqueray had to say.

“The scene was different back then. All the adult clubs were mob controlled. It all flowed up to some guy named Matty The Horse. Honestly the mob guys never bothered me. They were cool, and I liked how they dressed. They wore custom made suits. And they went to hair stylists, not barbers. These guys wouldn’t even let you touch their hair when you were fucking them. Not that I ever fucked them.

Because I never turned tricks. Well, except for one time. I took a job from this woman named Madame Blanche. She controlled all the high dollar prostitutes back then. She was like the Internet– could get you anything you wanted. And all the powerful men came to her because she never talked. She set me up with a department store magnate who wanted a black girl dressed like a maid. I thought I could do it.

But when I got to his hotel room, he wanted to spank me with a real belt. So that was it for me. I was done. But Madame Blanche set my best friend Vicki up with The President every time he came to New York. And don’t you dare write his name cause I can’t afford the lawyers. But he’d always spend an hour with her.

He’d send a car to pick her up, bring her to his hotel room, put a Secret Service agent in front of the door, and get this: all he ever did was eat her pussy!”

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“The scene was different back then. All the adult clubs were mob controlled. It all flowed up to some guy named Matty The Horse. Honestly the mob guys never bothered me. They were cool, and I liked how they dressed. They wore custom made suits. And they went to hair stylists, not barbers. These guys wouldn’t even let you touch their hair when you were fucking them. Not that I ever fucked them. Because I never turned tricks. Well, except for one time. I took a job from this woman named Madame Blanche. She controlled all the high dollar prostitutes back then. She was like the Internet– could get you anything you wanted. And all the powerful men came to her because she never talked. She set me up with a department store magnate who wanted a black girl dressed like a maid. I thought I could do it. But when I got to his hotel room, he wanted to spank me with a real belt. So that was it for me. I was done. But Madame Blanche set my best friend Vicki up with The President every time he came to New York. And don’t you dare write his name cause I can’t afford the lawyers. But he’d always spend an hour with her. He’d send a car to pick her up, bring her to his hotel room, put a Secret Service agent in front of the door, and get this: all he ever did was eat her pussy!”

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I wonder which president she’s talking about?!?!?! Let’s get this woman a writing partner this instant so we can get all this in a book and then onto the big screen.

Don’t you agree???

The post You Have to Check out This ‘Humans of New York’ Interviewee’s Wild Life Story appeared first on UberFacts.

These 15 Photos Prove There Are a Lot of Strange People out There

There sure are a lot of strange folks out there.

I mean EVERYWHERE.

And here’s just a small sampling of the strange humans who walk among us.

1. Okay…

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. That is amazing

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. A good look for him, I think

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. What is happening?!?!

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. Creature from the sea

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. That’s horrible

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. Killin’ it

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. Fork shoes?

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. Comfortable?

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. Think he’s having any luck?

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. Goat life

Photo Credit: The Chive

12. He’s living his best life

Photo Credit: The Chive

13. Hmmmm

Photo Credit: The Chive

14. Oh my…

Photo Credit: The Chive

15. Matching!

Photo Credit: The Chive

It’s Weirdo-Central up in here.

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15 Strange Moments People Witnessed on Public Transportation

You truly never know what you’re gonna get when you ride the subway, the train, the bus, or any other type of public transit.

This isn’t exactly breaking news, but there are a lot of weirdos out there. A ton of them, actually!

And we’re lucky enough that people were able to capture these…interesting moments. All of these photos come from the Instagram account humansoftrulai.

Enjoy!

1. Sir, are you okay?

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kai užtrauki psichologinį ručnyką

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2. Elsa wants a cold one.

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kai snd suleje tik pasaulio pazinimas

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3. Are you comfortable?

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"Autobuso vairuotojos sūnus"

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4. A faithful companion.

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“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”

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5. Eyebrowz for dayz.

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Maybe it's Maybeline?

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6. He was in a rush.

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"Shukos happens"

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7. That’s odd…

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"kai užmiršti į t(r)ūliką pasiimti išmanųjį"

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8. We’ve entered another dimension.

9. Grandma likes the weed.

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"Žolinės"

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10. Awwwww. Poor guy.

11. I don’t know if I’d get on that bus.

12. Another glitch in the matrix.

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"Aš – ne tokia kaip visos"

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13. Another cat friend along for the ride.

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"How do you see yourself in 20 years?"

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14. Blending in seamlessly.

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"Tas momentas, kai apsirengi kaip trūlo sedynė"

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15. Better hang on tight.

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trečiadienio klasika #1

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What’s the weirdest or most unusual thing you’ve ever seen on any mode of public transportation?

Tell us about it in the comments!

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People Describe Terrifying Moments They Knew They Had to Leave Immediately

You probably know this feeling – the hair stands up on the back of your neck, your heart starts to race, your palms are sweating, and even though there’s no obvious threat, everything inside you screams to get the heck out while you can.

Most of us will be lucky enough to experience this in what turn out to be fairly innocuous situations, but others….well, these 15 people are thankful every day that they listened to their baser instincts in that moment.

15. Just run as fast as you can.

When I was a preteen a strange man stopped and asked me for directions that didn’t make sense. As I’m trying to help him a van rolls up and the side door opens. I just booked it and never looked back.

14. Sometimes you just feel wrong.

When me and two of my cousins went camping with our family (probably about 8-9 years old) we stayed in a campground that had a playground near our spot. We would often go, just the three of us, to play and go back to our camper when it started to get dark because it wasn’t too far. But one day we were playing and we weren’t the only kids there but this man (40s) came up to us with a dog and started talking to my cousins and they were very trusting. He kept asking them if they wanted hotdogs or cookies and where they were from and telling us that his camper was just over there if we wanted snacks. This guy gave me a super weird vibe immediately so I looked at my cousins after being quiet the whole time and said “I think I hear grandma yelling for us, dinner is probably ready” and they argued and were confused but after I gave them the ‘look’ they just shrugged and listened to me. That guy gave me the heebie jeebies and we never saw him again after that day.

13. Our brains recognize when something is just “off.”

Went to a movie on Halloween when I was in high school with my boyfriend at the time. It was a huge theatre where there was a staircase all the way to the top row that opened in the middle of the row so you could sit on either side of the opening. My boyfriend and I sat in the back row on one side of the opening. We were watching the movie and around 30-40 minutes after the movie started, a guy walked in by himself wearing a big sweater and sat on the other side of the opening. He didn’t really DO anything at first but he gave me a bad feeling and I felt uncomfortable but I continued watching the movie. I noticed the guy seemed really nervous and wasn’t paying ANY attention to the movie. I really couldn’t figure out why but he was stressing me out big time and I just felt like we had to get the fuck out of there. I told my boyfriend that I was probably being silly but I wanted to leave. As we were leaving we informed the staff about the guy just in case.

Turns out they had been looking for him as people had reported seeing a guy of that description behaving strangely in the parking lot earlier. The police came and he apparently had quite a few large hunting knives hidden under his sweatshirt.

12. Always have someone with you to watch your back.

One night when I was very young and at a bar, I got quite drunk. Some guy propositioned me to go back to his place and I was up for it. I left my car, cuz he told me to just ride in since I had been drinking so much and we went riding down the road. It was quite a ways, and I started to question him where we were going. He said it was just up the road on the river.

He pulls over to the side of US1 and points to a two-story house on the river. It was very dark and the only light was of the Moon. We walk down the dock to get to the front door. He gets in front of me and is playing with the doorknob and as he pushes is it open he turns to me and says, please don’t make me turn the light on and let you see how dirty my place looks. So of course drunk and stupid, I said no problem. And probably giggled.

He guides me by the hand up a set of stairs. We get to the top and he says, I just have a mattress on the floor I hope you don’t mind. And again drunk and stupid me just sits down on the mattress not thinking about anything. As I sit there in the dark I start to get my vision becoming clearer. Everything looks off. The mattress has no sheet on it and I hear a whisper in my ear, Get Out!

I jumped up. I ran down the stairs. I ran out of the door and down the dock. I ran across u.s. 1, and up to a house that was across the street. I ran up to the door and started beating on the door and screaming for help I. I turn and look and the guy is running across u.s. 1 at me chasing me. I start screaming more and more as now I’m afraid this house is abandoned. Right as the guy gets up about ten feet away, the porch light turns on. The guy stops, turns around, and went back to his truck.

Poor guy whose door I was beating on came out and saw me crumbled, crying on his porch. The sweet man got in his car and drove me back to the bar 20 miles away so that I could get my car. I never saw him again. I never even knew his name. But he saved my life. I know he did.

11. Nothing about this is okay.

I used to drive for Lyft. Last year, I picked up a young couple from a bar at about 1:30 am. They were fairly chill and I figured it would be my last ride of the night. The dude asked me to stop at a corner store on the way to their destination so that he could get cigarettes. I didn’t see any harm in waiting so I stopped, and had a nice chat with the young woman while he was in the store. He ended up being about 5 minutes since everyone was trying to get their pre-2 am beer.

When he came out, he asked me to take him to a location that was in the opposite direction of their destination, but was only about a mile away. He said he wanted to meet some friends real quick and grab some beer. Since I figured it would be my last ride of the night, I said ‘fuck it, why not’ and drive him over there.

Now, I know the town we live in fairly well, but the direction that we were coming from was not a way I was used to going when I would go to this location. So when I turned onto the destination street, I missed the turn into the complex parking lot. I just came to a complete stop since the roads were empty and asked them if they just wanted me to park on the street or pull into the complex. This is when the two of them started arguing, as he suddenly wanted to go in and hang out for a few minutes while she didn’t want to go in at all; she just wanted him to do his thing and get out of there so they could go home.

And then something hit my car.

The sound is unmistakable to me, so I immediately started to look around to figure out what it was. But there were no other cars on the road, so that couldn’t have been it. Then I moved to the next thing on my mental checklist: of something didn’t hit me, then what did I hit? But that didn’t make any sense either as I’d been in park and couldn’t have hit anything. It’s at this point that the young lady’s attitude completely changed. She just kinda looked around, and then said ‘Can we just get out of here? It hurts and I want to go home.’

This was odd to me as she’d been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes at this point and hadn’t said a word about any kind of pain. She followed this up with ‘It hurts and I can’t move,’ put her had to her back, and pulled it out covered in blood.

What. The. Fuck.

So the guy starts freaking out, thinking that something in my trunk had exploded, but it was empty. As he reached over to tend to her I noticed something white sticking out of the seat. This hadn’t been there at the beginning of the night, so I asked him what it was. He pulled on it; it was a piece of the filler fuzz from my seat. It came out of the hole that had been made in the seat.

Because she’d been shot.

As soon he grabbed that fuzz we both had the same realization. He slammed shut his door and I drove them straight to the hospital, which was only a couple of miles away. That realization, and the follow up realization of ‘oh, someone could still shoot you while you’re sitting here’ was one of the most terrifying things I’d ever experienced.

10. That was a warning you were definitely right to heed.

In high school my buddy and I were riding our dirt bikes on the trails that ran around the logging roads in SW WA. Thousands and thousands of acres of undeveloped land with just gravel logging roads and trails.

We were on our way back to the truck when we stopped at an intersection to figure out which way to turn. Three dudes in overalls, no shirts and full face helmets rode out of the woods on quads. They rode a few slow circles around us then took off back into the woods. We booked the fuck out of there.

Turns out all that undeveloped land is also good for growing, cooking, and dumping.

9. Always be ready to have someone’s back.

I was walking home from school when a creepy older guy pulled over his work van, got out, was asking me for directions to a well known local place, and feigning like he didn’t understand what I was saying, in an obvious attempt to draw out the conversation. So that alone set off alarm bells in my head, but then he kept looking around the whole time, and I knew he was about to try something. Some lady happened to be walking from her house to her car so I yelled out, “Hey Mom! Can you come here and help give this guy directions?” Surprisingly, the lady actually came over and as she did, she yelled something like, “your father and your big brothers will be out in a minute, are you ready to go?”

He looked panicked, quickly got back into his car and took off. Once he left, that lady told me she knew what was up and made sure I was okay, before letting me use her phone to call the cops. Turns out I wasn’t the only girl he tried to lure/abduct. My faith in humanity was both damaged and restored that day.

8. Don’t brush it off.

This was by far the creepiest thing to ever happen to me. It’s a bit long but bear with me.

For context, I live only a few streets away from my workplace. This guy came to my floor one day for a team meeting. Ever since then he made a point to pass my desk when walking to the kitchen which doesn’t make sense logistically as the elevator basically opens right onto the kitchen.  Keep in mind, this guy is a complete stranger, nobody had ever seen him on our floor so my work friends KNEW he purposely came to our floor just to see me. He would make excuses to be near me whenever I am in the kitchen, eg to get a glass of water whilst I am washing my dishes.  He was always alone, never spoke to anyone, only watched me. This happened for about 3 months.

One day he happened to be downstairs at the time I finish work. He then knew EXACTLY what time I finish and waited downstairs for me everyday. He just sat there watching, waited for us to leave, then went back up.   One day I walked out with a friend.  We saw him sitting downstairs, quickly walked out of the building and parted ways assuming he would go back up now that we’d left.

Boy was I wrong.   My friend walked off in the opposite direction leaving me alone.  I had crossed the road and was just about to turn to the direction of my apartment, when some higher power compelled me to turn around. The feeling that rushed over me just then, I had never felt it before. It was like a mix of all the most negative emotions in the world all swirling into one massive super-cloud of fear.   When people talk about the flight or fight response, THIS was literally the epitome of that. To this day I still cannot understand what made me turn around when I generally never do that.

I was smart enough to go in a completely different direction so he wouldn’t know where I live.   He walked a short distance behind, crossed the road and checked to see where I was walking home to! Another male colleague happened to finish work at the same time this went down, followed him and waited to see what he was doing (stalking the stalker?).  He confirmed that he absolutely followed to see which direction I was going, and then went back into the building once I had walked too far ahead.  He would’ve only need to follow me a short distance to see where I lived.

This happened a few more times before I finally reported his ass and got him banned from entering all buildings associated with my company. Turns out he didn’t even actually work for my company (external contractor) and shouldn’t have even been in my building in the first place.

7. You’re allowed to be rude to creeps. Full stop.

My mom and I were walking our dog on a semi secluded dried up river bed (for context I was probably 7 or 8). A couple approached us, and instantly something in my gut told me that they weren’t safe. The man asked some weird question like, “is it just you and your daughter here?”‘ and then proceeded to say that he took pictures of kids for a living and that he would love to have me model for him. I didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation because after that I took off, and I’m ashamed to admit, left my mom and dog behind with the creepy guy. My mom was livid saying how rude I was and how worried she was because she didn’t know where I went, but the intense “leave now!” feeling that came over me totally clouded any sort of reasoning.

6. She just knew.

I was a 13 year old girl, camping with my best friend and her mom by a lake.

My friend’s mom was not the world’s best mother, and allowed my friend to get drunk. I had one drink, so I was a little tipsy, but still had my wits about me.

It was about 11 at night, and my very drunk friend randomly decided to go swimming, so I chased after her to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn’t hurt herself.

And god, I’m so glad I did.

Two men followed us out to the lake. We didn’t notice until my friend and I had swam a few dozen yards into the water. The men were very drunk, stumbling with their beer bottles in hand. They were catcalling us as they waded into the water, getting closer and closer.

My friend was so drunk, and wanting so badly to seem cool to these grown up men. Drunk 13 year olds aren’t the most rational thinkers. At first, she tried to respond to their questions. But I knew something very bad would happen if we didn’t get away, so I repeatedly whispered to her, “They’re going to rape us. They’re going to rape us. We need to leave. Now!”

I think that finally knocked some sense in her inebriated brain, and she agreed to swim towards the shore with me (away from the men).

They called after us, asking where we were going, and my friend yelled, “AWAY FROM YOU!!”

Back then, I second-guessed myself and wondered if maybe I had been a little dramatic. But now, as an adult, I realize just how much danger we were in, and I’m so thankful that 13 year old me knew to trust her gut.

5. You’ve gotta use your head all the time.

My car was stolen the very night I moved into my new house in a very good neighborhood. The neighbors had warned us that the neighborhood was being targeted at the time. They mentioned a women around the corner that opened the door for knockers in the middle of the night and they attacked her and robbed her and almost killed her.

We had reported the car stolen and did the police reports when it happened. Well, 2 nights later in the middle of the night I hear a knock on the door and they said open up, it’s the police. Well, since I had heard the story about the other lady, I was suspicious and did not answer. I grabbed my kids and put them in my daughter’s room because it had access to the roof from the window. I called the police to say that two men claiming to be police are pounding on my door. They said there was no police in the area and they’re sending a car. Turns out, these same guys stole the car and came back for seconds.

I did get my car back because they brought it with.

4. What in the world is wrong with people?

Once when I was about 11, I think, I was walking to my sister’s house. This kinda nervous, kinda sketchy looking guy stopped me and asked for directions.

To a street one block over. Now, sure, people sometimes get lost when they’re super close to their destination, but he was going to the main street in our district. Everyone knew where that street was.

I tell him, already suspicious of what this guy wants. And then he nervously says “How much?” Me, being fucking 11, go “Uuuh, what?” “How much? For one hour. Sex.”

As I was only one street away from my sister, I bolted out of there, not looking behind me. He asked a kid how much she was willing to prostitute herself for.

Admittedly, some kids do dress way more mature then they are. I however, did not. I wore whatever my mother was willing to buy me, and that particular day it was an oversized fleece sweater, ratty jeans and super cheap sneakers. I looked like a kid.

3. Whoa, this one is intense.

One of the times I ran away from my abusive mother, I was hiding out at an internet cafe. For context I was 12. I’d been there for a few days and the guy running the show overnight knew me and knew what was going on at home because I’d laid it on him a few months earlier when he was like “hey it’s 2am don’t you need to go home?”. He didn’t care about me especially, but he didn’t care enough to kick me out either so long as I wasn’t causing any trouble. He’d let me sleep under one of the desks at the back etc since it was always quiet as overnight.

Anyway this night I was just hanging out the back of the cafe bored with nothing to do and my brain was like “GO TO THE BATHROOM” but I didn’t need to pee or anything so I was like uh. And then my brain was more urgent “GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW” so I was like ok and did. Went into a stall and just kinda stood there for a few minutes confused then went back out. The guy on the front desk comes over and was like “dude someone just came in asking if I’d seen you, said it was your mother”

After a cycle of running away, getting caught, running away again I finally got away from her and had CPS take my allegations seriously 2 years later, and moved to different city but moved back about 5 years ago. I’m not really a believer in psychic links etc, but since I’ve been back I’ve sometimes had this… feeling in myself like a deep dread, and then I look around and see my mother walking down the road across the street or driving past me or something. I was getting a coffee about 6 months back and got that feeling so looked around, just in time to see her walking into the store.

2. That moment when everything goes wrong.

At a summer camp a buddy of mine and I climbed out onto a tin roof of a big hall that was built on the side of a steep hill. On one side you could climb out, right onto the roof, on the other side it was a 3 story fall onto concrete. Being teenage idiots, we climbed from the low side over the peak of the sloped metal roof and were inching down towards the edge of the high side. We had sneakers on, and had pretty solid footing, so it wasn’t outrageously dangerous.

Then, out of absolute nowhere, raindrops started falling. We both look at each and realize this is really bad and try to start backing up, but wherever there is even the slightest dampness, the metal is now completely slick. There is nothing to hold onto, the grip of the rubber shoes on dry metal was all we had. I look at him and see the panic in his eyes that I’m feeling, too. We are trying to move up this roof as fast as we can, and the raindrops are falling harder every second. I see him break completely free and start sliding down with his eyes frozen in terror. Somehow, miraculously, he stops sliding. I made it to the top scrambled down grabbed a branch and leaned back over the top, trying to give him something to grab. He eventually makes it high enough to grab the branch and I pull him up and over.

I have never felt panic like that. We were *so* lucky to make it out of there.

1. Oh my god I would have had a heart attack.

My girlfriend and I were car camping in the woods, a nice spot by a rushing river. The evening had gone well and we turned in for the night.

Some time later I wake up needing to pee. I do my business and head back to the tent. I’m sitting on the edge of the tent taking my shoes off when I see it….

A vaguely human shape suddenly jumps out in my mind and I freeze. I stare through the dark at this shape, just silhouetted by the dim starlight, wondering if I’m seeing things or if someone is creeping on us. Then the shape moves.

It rises up, becoming a larger outline partially blotted by the trees. BEAR my mind screams at me. I whip into action, reaching for my knife with one hand, while zipping the the tent closed for some paltry barrier between me and it…

It’s then that I hear a noise over the rush of the river… “Hey, wait for me.”

Apparently my girlfriend had come out after I did and I just didn’t realize it.

I’m never going to discount my sixth senses again, I can tell you that!

Do you have a story like this? Please, drop it in the comments!

The post People Describe Terrifying Moments They Knew They Had to Leave Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others

People are strange. Really strange, actually.

Especially when people are in relationships. Then they get really weird with all the little quirks that they share with a significant other.

AskReddit users share the weird things they like to do with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc.

Share yours in the comments!

1. The Kiss Monster.

“We have a ‘Kiss Monster’ (spoiler alert: it’s me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.

We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.”

2. Okay…

“We do ‘inverted kissing’. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party’s puckered up lips.

It’s like kissing the void. It feels really fucking uncomfortable and it’s hilarious. She always does it to me when I’m expecting a kiss.

Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going ‘noooo’.”

3. Welcome home!

“My wife usually gets home before I do from work and as soon as I enter she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing an bollywood song “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” (My love has reached home). And, then we hug and greet.

Its a little thing which has turned into some sort of ritual. We love it!

One day I rang the bell, before she unlocked the door she asks.. “whats the password?”

I replied in a low tone “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” in the same tune. She was expecting me to say something “clever” but she enjoyed the song even more because I have a bad voice.”

4. I love to annoy you!

“We often just stand in each other’s way for no reason other than to be annoying.”

5. Bread games.

“Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her “Shhhhh be bread, it’s okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it’s okay to become bread” while she cackled and screamed “I DON’T WANT TO BE BREAD.””

6. Just like pro wrestling.

“My ex used to want me to body slam her onto the bed all the time.”

7. True artists.

“Penis drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks.

When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.”

8. Let’s see who’s more dominant.

“We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert “dominance”. We use the “dominance” to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.”

9. Time to clean up.

“While we’re in the shower he’ll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he’s rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this “Carl wash” cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he’s washing me off hehe.”

10. A decade in the making.

“We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one’s own butt, moving one’s arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.

Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.”

11. Gross and weird.

“Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.

It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.”

12. Would you kindly…

“We have the WYK rule. If one of us says, “would you kindly blah blah blah” the other one must, no matter what, do that thing. There is zero negotiation. It’s mostly whipped out for benign stuff, sometimes for very silly stuff, but occasionally used in serious situations. It’s equal parts silly, fake outage, and a deep, committed trust. It only works because we trust each other not to abuse WYK or use it for evil.”

13. It gets intense?

“Sometimes when I answer the phone I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he’s Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There’s never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense.”

14. This is a real competition.

“Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.”

15. This is kinda cool

What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.

‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.

We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.

Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate

The list of whistling we do is never-ending and the language becomes more advanced by the day, but my favorite whistle is ‘accomplishment whistle’ which is a high pitched ‘doo-doo DOO’ or the spooky whistle demonstrated here

The post People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others appeared first on UberFacts.

Europeans Share the One “American Thing” They’ll Never Understand

Hmmmm….

It’s funny to realize the differences between European and American cultures, but not everyone has the chance to travel and experience them firsthand. That’s when sites like Reddit can come in handy, because there are plenty of people there ready and waiting to weigh in on the best and worst realizations during travel.

These 15 people say they’re just “too European” to ever wrap their minds around these 15 totally American things.

15. Okay I didn’t realize this was a thing.

ISP’s actually having data caps on wired connections in 2019

14. Yes, I would like answers for this, too.

The lack of paid maternity leave. The thought of having to hand my children to strangers and go back to work weeks after giving birth. Nobody seems enraged about what that must do to babies and mothers

13. Preach, my friend across the pond.

School debts.

12. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.

Anything that happens in high school really

Edit: geez I’m getting a lot of replies, I’d like to respond to them all and discuss some more, but I don’t really have that much time, sorry

11. Buying water shouldn’t be necessary, but have you heard of Flint, MI…

Drinking tap water… I’m used to drinking tap water all day, I never buy water since it’s the same as tap water

Edit: I was once on vacation in Africa, and that was my first encounter with how tap water is in some other countries. I could never imagine undrinkable tap water in Europe.

10. So you can take it home with you, obvs.

Why pay for the bigger soda cup if there are free refills for the small?

9. Asking the real questions, here.

Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?

8. It’s our Puritan roots, plain and simple.

drinking at age 21. i mean for real? I live in Austria and the legal drinking age here is 16

7. Again…Puritans.

The double moral when it comes to sex and sexuality

6. Because we are disgusting, and also no one wants to hear about science.

Asian here but, why wear shoes inside your homes?

5. …it’s not like this in Europe?

Your bathrooms.

What idiot thought it was ok to have very small doors with gaps on all sides in every stall? How are you supposed to quietly poop and stink and fart without everyone seeing you?

I can understand why you are so afraid of unisex bathrooms.

4. So that TurboTax can keep making money…

Why do you pay the taxes yourself? It’s way easier to have it done for you by your state/country since you have to pay anyway.

3. Having one price is definitely simpler and helps those of us who don’t math well.

Showing prices BEFORE TAX LIKE MY DUDES “It looks cheaper” BUT IT AIN’T Idgi mang idgi!!!!

2. It’s a travesty.

Lunch debt? Why is that a thing? Why are the children being held accountable and unable graduate? It’a goddamn lunch.

1. It’s time to take to the streets.

Not rioting or demonstrating. I mean I’m French so the bias is big here.

Edit: Damn, thanks for the gold.

As an American, I have to say…we don’t understand some of these either!

Do you have a travel experience like this? Please share it with us in the comments!

The post Europeans Share the One “American Thing” They’ll Never Understand appeared first on UberFacts.

Check out These 10 Awkward Pieces of Taxidermy

You have to see Adele Morse‘s work. She’s a Welsh artist and taxidermist who lives in London, and she has a very unique take on the art of taxidermy.

Morse started studying taxidermy in 2005 and decided to become a full-time artist in 2012.

Take a look at her work, it’s pretty weird, wild, wacky, and fun!

1. Look at that shrew.

2. I kind of want one of these.

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🔥EAT TRASH OR DIE TRYIN🔥 BIG RACC in NY and on the set of his new video 'all bad dogs go to Heaven'. . If you can think of any more song title puns of 90s rap Raccoon songs then please feel free to make us all cringe in the comments. . . I designed and got the camo for his jacket specially printed in Germany then made a pattern and tailored/sewed up his jacket and added poppers and leather shoulders, he also has 3 watches in 3 time zones, 2 chains including his death row records piece he got when he signed his deal, handmade mini bandanna, hand painted sunglasses, gold rings, trap phone that he can actually make calls on and finally… a toothpick as it sooths his anxiety since his friend Big dog died. As always zero photoshop and no filters just beautiful Big Racc. Tallest boy I ever did and he had a lot of holes in his face and damage to his eye that I patched but I think he came out pretty pretty pretty pretty good. . . . #bigracc #raccoon #animals #taxidermy #cute #tough #deadly #rapper #sculpture #newyork #lowbrow #ukartist #meme #funny #tiktok #funnyvideos #notoriousbig #deathrowrecords

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3. Quite a dynamic duo.

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NAME SUGGESTIONS TIME🎉 Come on then… you always nail this… SO this foxy guy is on his way to the other side of world but he doesn't have a name yet….Someone who's name begins with a J asked me to make this as a gift for one of you. So you don't know it yet but one of you has already adopted him. Which I am too excited about and am struggling not to give too many clues. So for now give me your BEST name suggestions please ❤ IF your name gets picked I will send you a postcard set. Also on a side note this is the exact face I make when I try to look normal in a photo. Every time. I think I'm subconsciously making my spirit animals. . . . #stonedfox #friends #bff #sloth #pals #surprise #mysterious #oooooh #aaaaaah #taxidermy #meme #sculpture #lowbrow #furry #fluffy #anthropomorphic #cute #creepycute #britishartists #london #art #ihatechoosinghashtags

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4. Almost looks like Sonic.

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I Love these ❤ For sure feel like I'm going to vomit every time I see one of them whilst scrolling with tens of thousands of likes and no tags but I admit …deep down I am amazed my little fella is doing the rounds again. I didn't think I would ever get to see him or any other animal receive so much attention seven years after I made him. I always kicked myself for not joining social media when he first became a meme but now I think it was actually a good decision for the first time. I had thick skin even then but it's really overwhelming. I'm not complaining of course. I know I am lucky with or without being credited but it's a really unique and unusual experience because its like equal parts bad and good. Its like finding out you won a million pound the same day you find out you owe a million. You go through all the emotions at once and at the end of the day you are in the same position….but then happens multiple times over seven years. As long as I can avoid being the crazy fox lady sleeping under the billboard for some new stoned fox theme park that I'm not involved in then I'm good. Thank you for all helping me see stuff. It's overwhleming but it always feels nicer getting sent it by you instead of stumbling on it by mistake ❤ I wonder if grumpy cat sees a psychiatrist 🤔 . .p.s I would happily let them cast him as Tails. . #stonedfox #sonic #sonicthehedgehog #sonicmemes #taxidermy #vomit #whatismylife #sos #thankgodforcamambert

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5. A great-looking trash panda.

6. Nightmare fuel, but in a cute way.

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Name suggestions time…. So the holiday may be over but the summer is just starting. Not that It really makes a difference to us as we are in a basement beavering away but….. This Guy is finally going to be leaving me and going to his new home in sunny America as a mascot for toptree . My first mascot. Right now he doesn’t have a name Soooo I figured maybe this was a good time to get some suggestions from you. You always come up with great ideas. So do you’re worst….. I am going to miss him. I admit I play with him a bit everyday. I keep buying him sunglasses. He has like 8 pairs. I have 1 pair🤷🏼‍♀️ I know you’re probably sick of him but these are some (I took 400) from the batch of final photos. The third one is NSFW but if you report me I will send Pierre round. Thaaanks xxx #fauxidermy #toptree #memes #sculpture #babe #iwillalwaysloveyou #imissyoualready #art #london #summer #sculpey #airbrush

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7. Looks like a character from Grease.

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DAY 24:CUSTOMER FEEDBACK If you have ever adopted a critter or bought something from my shop and would like to leave a review in the comments that would be nice❤ One of my favourite things is seeing photos of my animals in their new lives all over the world. From fancy rock star headshots to looking terrified next to a John Wayne Gacy Painting and they even help with meal prep. One thing that I am so happy about and grateful for is how the animals become members of the family and not just an object or somethings static on the side or the wall. I admit I was a bit unorganised with this one so here are some photos with some customer feedback. THANK YOU to everyone who trusts me to make you an animal or to send your orders out. I couldn’t do this without you, Sometimes I want to strangle some but I genuinely do love all the feedback from everyone. I screenshot everything to look at when I am stressing out so I appreciate it all even messages from people who haven’t adopted and just send me amazing DMs that always come at the right moment . @JOANNEHAWKER #MARCHMEETTHEMAKER #INDIEROLLERMMTM #taxidermy #oddities #crimemuseum #stonedfox #meme #anthropomorphic #collections #london #animals

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8. Big Trouble in Little China?

9. Get a load of that.

10. Frank the wallaby.

That is one-of-a-kind work right there! Which one is your favorite?

Have you ever hired a taxidermist for one of your beloved pets? If so, let’s see the photos!

The post Check out These 10 Awkward Pieces of Taxidermy appeared first on UberFacts.