15 People Share What They’d Say If They Were Able to Talk to Themselves 10 Years Ago

This question is probably going to elicit some very interesting and very painful answers.

AskReddit users answered this question:

“If you could call yourself 10 years ago and speak for 1minute, what would you say?”

What would you tell yourself 10 years ago? Share your thoughts in the comments!

1. Might not be there in 10 years.

“Enjoy that hair while you still can.”

2. That’s gotta hurt.

“For the love of god get your drivers license, if you don’t you’re going to get hit by a car.”

3. Don’t be scared…

“Oh god..I would say…”Dont be scared, get an education and find a good job.” Now I’m stuck in a miserable retail job.”

4. Just do it!

“Finish school, you asshole.”

5. Stay away from Susan

“Do not date Susan, she will ruin your life.”

6. Two major points.

“Invest in Apple and you aren’t marrying that girl you’re seeing right now.”

7. A rambler and a gambler

“Put all of your money in bitcoin. Oh yeah Patriots win Super Bowl 49, 51, and 53. Put your life savings on each one.”

8. Be in charge of your own life.

“Don’t live your life according to what your mom wants you to do. Do what you want to do.”

9. Take some deep breaths.

“Bro, you need to chill out, it gets worse.”

10. “That’s no way to go through life.”

“Relax and enjoy. You’re worthy of the experience.

About 10 years ago, I got my job at Google and the worst part of the experience were my insecurities. I was a 49-year old (ancient by Google standards), self-taught programmer. I got my non-programming degree from a back-woods school but, to make up for it, I got really, REALLY crappy grades. I had no big-data experience and, at the time, I hadn’t programmed in any of Google’s 4 development languages (C++, Python, Java, and JavaScript). Add all this to my normal insecurities and I really felt like I was outclassed by everyone else at the company. I spent every day expecting to be fired for gross incompetence.

That’s no way to go through life. The experience would have been _so_ much better if I’d just ignored my insecurities. I still would have been dumbest fucking programmer at Google but I would have, at least, been much, much happier.”

11. This is sad.

“Tell your dad he has to go to the doctor to check his heart – it will save his life.”

12. Let people know how you feel.

“Tell mom and grandma you love them! They won’t be here in 10 years.”

13. Don’t even start.

“For the love of god, don’t start drinking. It’ll destroy you.”

14. A lot to take in here.

“Don’t move to the coast – it ends horribly and you’ll get stabbed.

Put down the drugs, you’ll regret it in 5 years.

Go to the dentist, that shit is important.

Go see your Nanny. She dies in 2 years, and you’ll miss her more than you realise.

Don’t drink at your Mums wedding. She still loves you, but hot damn you hurt her.

Be nice to your sister. She’s going through a lot too. She won’t tell you, but she needs you.

Most importantly – go back to school, Eliza. Get your education. You’ll need it when you’re a 21 year old single mum struggling to support yourself and a toddler.”

15. Do something for yourself.

“Your friends will leave you. Your girlfriend will leave you. Your job doesn’t matter. Don’t waste your time and energy on people that will forget about you in 10 years. Do something for yourself. Do it because you want to do it, not because you hope other people will like you for it. Live like you mean it. Forget the haters.”

The post 15 People Share What They’d Say If They Were Able to Talk to Themselves 10 Years Ago appeared first on UberFacts.

Garbage Collectors Come Clean About the Stuff People Throw Away

The stuff people throw away can be truly shocking.

And it’s not just the amount of money we spend on things that we just pitch in the trash. People seem to think that garbage bags somehow shield them from being arrested… because A LOT of illegal shit gets thrown away for ANYBODY to find.

These 14 garbage collectors know this all too well, and they’re not shy about divulging what they found!

Let’s go!

1. So many different things in just 8 months!

I worked ~8 months while waiting to go to school in my small southern town.

Summary of interesting things I found go as follows: $20, bullets, a live snake, a fully working 400$ amp (which I now use for my speaker setup), and a small bag of marijuana, and a can literally full of adult toys and open DVDs.

2. Thanks history professor. Or should I say… history thief!

We used to pull the recyclables out of the dumpsters by our rental condo in California. Found a Naval officer’s sword, a nice set of cast iron skillets, plus a fantastic handmade leather chair. Still have those in my home. Lots of clothes with tags, pretty sure the residents one unit over were shoplifters and thieves; we took that stuff to the thrift shops.

Then there was Big Trash Day in Japan once a quarter. Fully working treadle sewing machine with a cast iron base, ceramic hibachi pot, marvelous glass and lacquer cases, a giant yellow quartz gem set in silver. A full set of WWII photos and albums, including a Kamikaze farewell party, but a history professor “borrowed” those to examine and never got them back to me.

3. Think of all the money to be made!

I lived in a campus town and every year, end of the semester, (especially the end of spring semester) the most amazing stuff would be thrown out.

Students (especially foreign students) leaving who had no way to take their stuff with them.

Uncounted couches, TVs, furniture, computers, electronics, etc just sitting on the curbs all around the campus.

They had to clean the apartment out and they had nowhere to put the stuff but on the curb.

4. Why do people throw away laptops?!?

I live in a town with 2 colleges in it and I like to go textbook hunting on move out week. I’ll usually pull 2,5-3k in 2 weeks. I’ve found around 8-9 phones of vary degrees of degradation, around 4 laptops with fixable problems and a closets worth of name-brand clothing. My daily driver timbs are trash boots.

My friend though, after two years of gathering now owns a small business selling and renting what he calls “dorm kits”, which usually include a couple lights, chairs, a mini-fridge, a microwave, an electric kettle and other odds and ends. He has a real job but makes about 40k a year supplemental, a lot in cash. (that he keeps in a cardboard box labeled “f— you money”) He will often find 2-3 of the kits he sold outright in the garbage that same year. I’m jealous of his work ethic, because those couple of weeks before/after the semester he works 18 hour days.

TL;DR- if you live near a college there’s gold in the garbage.

5. E.A. office… it’s in the trash!

The cleaning company I work for regularly gets rid of unwanted stuff from an Electronics Arts office.

We could keep the items they didn’t use anymore. Some of the fun things we got were: a classic guitar hero set, wii fit + balance board, sim city mouse pads (still using those), some kind of singstar microphones (use the now for talking online with friends), old sims disks with all the commercials they have ever released (some weird stuff was on there), battlefield bad company key chains, old games like need for speed and rogue galaxy for ps2 and lots of minor stuff.

This happens annually so i hope they got some fun stuff this year.

6. So much wine!

At my sister’s alma mater, she said the rich girls threw out a lot of good stuff when the dorms had to be cleaned out for the summer. She got clothes, shoes and purses.

I lived in Israel as an English teacher several years ago and since thrift stores aren’t really a thing there, perfectly good clothes would be thrown out. I got so many bags of clothes.

Once they were washed, they were perfectly fine. (Got hand-me-downs from my teacher, the teacher of two people in my cohort and a few friends in my cohort as well.) Never had to buy clothes (minus a pair of boots and my Purim costume) during my 10 months in Israel! Before Passover, people toss anything that isn’t kosher for Passover. I found more clothes and three unopened bottles of wine!

7. Snowboards?! Whoa!

I usually find brand new stuff still in the plastic. Haven’t really found anything illegal though.

My brother in law works for a recycling place and he finds all kinds of cool sh*t. One day he came home with 3 brand new dc snowboards. He said whatever company wanted to shred the last year’s model that didn’t sell so he took it home.

8. Lots of meds!

I was a janitor for my high school in the summer months and one of the first jobs of the summer was locker clean out. I was given the master key for all the lockers and had to go in one by one to clean them out.

I found so many bottles of ADHD meds (adderal, ritalin, vyvanse), relatively brand new shoes, nice north face fleeces among other random sh*t.

9. The $100 pick up

I worked on the back of a trash truck for one summer when I was younger. It was my girlfriend’s dad’s company so I rode with him pretty much the entire time. We never found anything truly odd but one of my best memories was when we used to go around to pick up trash at these multi-million and billion dollar homes.

There was this one house that we picked up trash at that always had four, five, six huge cans full of bottles and trash from their weekly parties.

The rule was, only two large cans were to be picked up. Anything extra would cost the customer more. Well, in order to avoid having to pay the company extra, every week there would be this old guy standing at the back gate with a $100 bill. He’d hand us the bill in exchange for us not telling the owner about the extra pick-up.

The owner, the guy who he handed the money to, always promised not to tell anyone about it. We always had a good lunch on those days.

10. Never pay for a bike again!

My dad was a garbage man. My brother and never paid for a bike as kids – he’d find bikes in various states of disrepair and bring them back home to fix them up from their usable parts.

Also, radios. My dad would find some incredible old radios – tons of 40s/50s era tube radio receivers, which we would fix up together.

As far as illegal, I remember him telling me that he found a big ziploc bag full of mary jane one time.

11. Guns & Ammo

I was a garbage man for a number of years in the early 90s. I live in a very small town that is mostly Italian, and one morning we were sent out to collect the dumpster from a trucks top on the outskirts of town. As the truck was pouring the contents of the dumpster into the back, I saw a wet box break apart and inside were a bunch of submachine guns and magazines of ammo.

I stopped the winch, told the driver, and we both decided to play dumb (not difficult) and pretend we didn’t see them. So I continued on and crushed it all as though I hadn’t seen them.

I just remember being afraid that they were dropped off for a pickup or exchange and if some saw me taking them or I was found with them, it’d be a really bad day for me.

12. Better living through chemistry!

In an old school, a forgotten high school chemistry lab from the 60s. Jars and jars of things like thermite, sticks of yellow phosphorous submerged in some yellow-colored liquid that had evaporated to the point where there was only 1/8″ of liquid covering the top of the sticks and the slightest movement would cause the top end of the sticks to be uncovered.

This was all on the same racks as a jar of mercury, about a pound of powdered asbestos, spools of magnesium ribbom, quantities of powdered sulfur, nitroglycerin, potassium permanganate, cans that had rusted through (they still contained – something –

but the labels were too corroded to read), acid nitric and too many other bottles to read as just being in that room for a couple of minutes gave me a splitting headache.

It had apparently been a well-stocked chemistry lab for high school students decades previously then one day the school closed so they locked the door and nobody had entered it (much less cleaned it out) for decades.

13. Casino cleanup

My uncle in Vegas was a trash man.

After work he would walk through the landfill and find casino chips, jewelry, other valuables and money – enough to buy a very nice home on his modest wages after only a couple years. Rich, drunk and/or stupid means a lot of disposed, as opposed to disposable, wealth.

14. You knew this was coming…

A severed arm with no hand.

At first I thought it was from an animal until I looked closer in horror that it clearly was a human elbow.

That last story… WTF?????? How do you ever recover from that? How do you go back to work???

Got any crazy stories of things you found which you can’t unsee? Let us know in the comments!

The post Garbage Collectors Come Clean About the Stuff People Throw Away appeared first on UberFacts.

People Recommend Totally Weird Subreddits You Can Check Out

I often find myself drifting further and further down Internet wormholes that are totally insane.

And you can find a lot of stuff like that on Subreddits. I’m talking about really bizarre things that will trip you out.

AskReddit users were nice enough to share really, really weird Subreddits that you might want to look into. Enjoy.

1. Is Eric Wearing Shorts Today?


Despite it being weird it has a lovely community.”

2. Deep Into YouTube

“Not as bizarre as other subs posted, but r/DeepIntoYouTube has some good content, and it’s casual enough I can watch it at work.”

3. AnkMemes


It’s a meme page dedicated to ankylosaurus themed memes.”

4. Beans in Things.

r/BeansInThings – self explanatory.”

5. Chickens Wearing Pants.


It’s all fun and games for Link until the chicken puts on the big boy britches.”

6. Former Pizza Huts.


It’s a subreddit with pictures of pizza huts that went out of business and are now used for other things.”

7. Real Bees Fake Top Hats.


Like why does this exist?”

8. Tendies


Basically a bunch of people roleplaying morbidly obese, voluntarily celibate grown men that wear diapers and live in their mom’s basement.”

9. Illness Fakers.


The premise is simple, it’s posting things people post where it’s obvious they’re faking an illness. However it seems like a huge portion of the sub is dedicated to posting all the content from a handful of people, to the point where it feels more like a group stalking.”

10. Bread Stapled to Trees.


11. Bimbofication.

r/bimbofication is a sub for women who are trying to become “bimbos”, or basically to achieve an unrealistic, plastic look through plastic surgery and other enhancement procedures. Things like really extreme lip filler or the removal of ribs, etc… Then men cheer them on in the comment section. I don’t want to insult any of the people there because I believe you should do what you want with your own body. But, it is very, very hard for me to understand.”

12.Music French People Might Play At Parties or Just With Friends Around.


Music French People Might Play At Parties or Just With Friends Around.

Super specific and kinda wholesome. 10/10.”

13. Zombie Survival Tactics.


14. I’m Sorry Jon.


It’s a subreddit dedicated to posting demonic and or terrifying depictions of Garfield.

Nuff said.”

15. Name that PDX bathroom.


It’s kind of a trivia subreddit where people can post pictures of Portland, OR metro-area bathrooms and then other people try to identify them. Use it to plan your pit stops on your next trip to Portland.”

The post People Recommend Totally Weird Subreddits You Can Check Out appeared first on UberFacts.

Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Things Their Students Have Ever Said

Let’s take a trip down memory lane.

This one goes out to the teachers.

Throughout the school day, all teachers hope to impart wisdom into the next generation. But beyond math equations and reading groups, teachers get to experience the hilarity of what kids say.

u/moosepajamas asked Reddit:

“Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a student say?”

And the forum dropped a few outrageous quotes!

10. Bathroom break time? Nope.

“One of my pre-kindergarteners was squirming as we lined up for lunch. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, and he said no, but kept squirming.

So I asked if he was sure, and he said, ‘I’m OK — it’s just that my penis is so big.’ He had an erection.”


9. Compliment or insult?

“I wore a Captain America shirt to school for ‘Super Hero Day,’ and one of my students said I looked like Captain America before the injections.”


8. A wise child once said…

“One of my 7th graders asked me where babies come from, and another student replied, ‘Well, when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much…they get a bottle of scotch and a cheap motel room.”


7. The kid’s got a point!

“I heard a student say, ‘I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it, but he hasn’t even brought up horoscopes yet, and we’re 6 weeks in!’”


6. Burn!

“I’m a math professor, and I had just finished a proof when I asked my students, ‘Does everyone understand my choices?’

One of my favorite students piped up and asked, ‘Are we talking about your proof or how you’ve chosen to live your life?’”


5. How did she know it’s salty?

“I was teaching a lesson on whales in my high school science class, and had just mentioned the sperm whale when a girl asked, ‘Is that why the ocean is so salty?’”


4. Speech impediments make for funny moments

Taught ESL for a year. Had an adorable 6-year old who could not say clock. We worked for weeks at it with her, she just could not say it.

“Poppy, what time is it?” “Its 6 o’cock!”

I couldn’t help but laugh every time.”


3. Ouch

“One of my students was hugging me goodbye when they took a deep inhale, smiled up at me lovingly, and said, ‘Your shirt smells like a grandma, but your armpits smell like Chuck E. Cheese.’”


2. Jesus…

“I teach elementary band, and once we were preparing for a playing test when one student said, ‘Man, I need to practice.’

Without missing a beat, the kid next to him said, ‘My mom says I need Jesus.’”


1. Good point

“One of my students once asked me, ‘If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?’

I lost it in class.”


At least teachers get a touch of humor while they work!

Tell us your funniest kid moment in the comments! Even if you’ve ever been a teacher, we know you’ve heard one. 😉

The post Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Things Their Students Have Ever Said appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Times Their Gut Feelings Turned out to Be All Too True

Have you ever had a gut feeling that just nagged at you? Did it ever turn out to be spot on?

So it’s not particularly surprising that the question was asked on redd… “What’s your greatest most satisfying “I fucking called it” moment?”

Yeah, these are fun…

11. His Name Was Charles

“Back in the early ’90s, I was in my early twenties and, as people in their early twenties often do, I spent a lot of late nights at my local Denny’s hanging out with friends and drinking cheap coffee.

The late-night wait staff was pretty small, so my friends and I wound up getting to know them pretty well — socializing with them as well. Some of them would hook us up with free fries or sodas and every now and again if things were slow, they’d sit at our booth with us.

One of the people who would hang out with us was named Charles.

Charles was an older guy in his 50s who was very nice to my friends and me, but he was a little… creepy. He would never get overt about it, but he definitely embraced the whole ‘creepy uncle’ persona. He’d tell the girls in my group how pretty they were, and how he wished he was still young, that sort of thing.

The guy was a little weird, but he was a nice guy to us.

All the same, I remember telling people, ‘Charles has a secret. He’s in his fifties, slinging coffee at an all-night restaurant, but he comes off as educated and sort of worldly. He talks about traveling and living well — I don’t know what it is, but Charles is damaged. I bet he killed somebody or something.’ I was convinced that the ‘nice guy’ bit was a cover for something dark.


So as my group got older, people came and went, some of us fell out with others, some of us got real jobs and couldn’t stay up until 4 am at a Denny’s, and we eventually stopped hanging out there.

Never really gave Charles much thought after that, for YEARS.

Then I saw Charles on the news.

Turns out Charles was Charles Rothenberg. In what I understand was originally intended to be a murder-suicide, he doused his son David in kerosene, and lit him on fire.

David survived, but was horribly scarred for the rest of his life. Charles continued to get into criminal trouble, and was ultimately sentenced to 25 years in prison as a result of California’s ‘Three Strikes’ law.

He’s still in prison today, but in the late ’90s he changed his name to ‘Charley Charles,’ because sure, why not.

When his son was 19, he visited Charles in prison, apparently reading a prepared statement to him:

‘Charles, you are not my father. You are an impostor. Parents don’t hinder their children from experiencing a normal childhood. I wish that you could experience the trauma and pain that I have gone through.’

Afterward, David told the press, ‘He wanted me to know that he loved me. The last thing I said was, “No you don’t.” And I walked out.’

In a somewhat bizarre turn, David later legally changed his own name to ‘Dave Dave,’ mirroring the ‘Charley Charles’ name his father adopted. I have no idea if this is coincidental somehow, but the irony is not lost on me, that’s for sure.

Unfortunately Dave Dave himself passed away last year, at the age of 42 — his ongoing medical issues, which were the result of his burn injuries, eventually killed him.

So, yeah. I called it — Charles was harboring something dark when he was getting free fries for my friends and telling the girls how pretty they were. I just had no idea HOW dark.”

10. Totally Called It!

“In high school, my best friend’s little sister (16 at the time) brought home her new 18 year old boyfriend from work to meet the family. I was over at the time and talked to him for a while because we were the same age. After meeting him, I realized something was off. I got the impression that 1) He was much older than claiming 2) had been in jail.

I wound up saying something to my friend, who told his parents and sister.

Long story short, the family freaked out on me for spreading rumors that weren’t true, telling me to mind my own business, etc…

Two years later, the sister comes home from a date with him in tears. He finally came out and admitted to her that 1) He was 30, not the now 20 he was saying 2) He had spent 2 years in prison, but refused to say for what.

I was very quick to point out to the family how I called this years earlier and was basically shamed out of their house.”

9. Always Get A Second Opinion!

“My husband is super medically fragile – he’s had cancer twice and a bone marrow transplant in the last 9 years.

A few years ago, he had surgery on his wrist and I had a gut feeling he was brewing an infection despite being on antibiotics. His surgeon’s office saw him and switched the antibiotics. I contacted the cancer center because I just knew it was going to become more. They blew me off and punted back to the surgeon’s office.

I knew this was beyond the surgeon’s scope.

I pitched a tantrum fit and pretty much told them they were going to see them and I wasn’t accepting no for an answer. The triage phone nurse was condescending and telling me it was probably nothing and could wait. We got to the clinic and the nurse there started looking around the incision site. She told me that she believed my gut and pushed to admit him.

The CT showed a huge infection that landed him in the hospital for a week on potent IV antibiotics with another surgery to clean out the site.”

8. Super Creep

“When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with a couple other girls in my neighborhood. We each had completely different backgrounds, but we just clicked. For years, we three did all the things good friends do. The only thing I, personally, didn’t like was to stay over at the house of one of these girls, I’ll call her Brianna. I’d sleep over at the other girl’s house, they could sleep at mine, but I always came up with an excuse not to stay at Brianna’s.

She started to get her feelings hurt but I ignored it.

Then when we were all about 16 we all sat around drinking, like teenagers do. We got into a little debate about who is better friends with who, and I was somehow accused of not ‘liking’ Brianna as much as the other friend because I wouldn’t spend much time at her house. Since I had zero filter at that moment, I blurted out, ‘Brianna. It isn’t you. It’s your dad. He’s a child predator, I can tell just by looking at him.’

As soon as I said it, everything changed. I apologized, that didn’t work of course. Both of my best girlfriends dumped me that day. I still had a solid best friend, but I had to get myself a new group for sure. Also, they started bullying me a bit, but I just took it because of the horrible thing I said about Brianna’s dad. I felt super guilty.

Three years later, I was out of high school, living with my best friend who was still friends with Brianna.

I got home from class and there was Brianna sitting on the living room couch. It was SO uncomfortable. I decided to try to apologize again. ‘Hey, I know you are probably sick of hearing this, but I am so very sorry for what I said about your dad, Brianna. Please forgive me, I still don’t know why I’d say such a thing.’

She sort of chuckled and said, ‘It’s no big deal, he assaulted all of us.’

I never questioned my intuition again, because I called it the second I saw that creep.”

7. Bridal Woes

“Remember the Runaway Bride? Not the movie, the actual woman?

Well, there was a woman who was ‘kidnapped’ before her wedding (maybe a couple days before, if I’m not mistaken), and the whole world started looking for her. If I remember correctly, she was able to make a phone call to her family and she told them she was kidnapped by some ‘Mexicans.’ As soon as she said that, I knew she was lying. Whenever people specify a race when explaining a crime, my ears perk up, but I understand why she did it.

People will believe it.

Either way, my girlfriend at the time got so mad at me saying, ‘You always think you know it all! This woman was kidnapped and all you can do is think of something to be right about! Have some compassion.’

Couple days later, guess who shows up?

Apparently she didn’t wanna get married and decided to get ‘kidnapped’ rather than call it off. Luckily the state made her pay back all the money they spent to search for her, but of course, no jail time.

I never said ‘I told you so’ to my girlfriend, but I know she was waiting for it by how she was acting, didn’t speak much, acted aloof.

So we never spoke of it after.”

6. Live That Single Life!

“The first paramour my mom met was this guy from a city about an hour and a half drive from us on a less than reputable dating site. Soon she started dating him and promptly gave him a key to her house. DUMB, right? So she’s my mom and I respect her, but at the same time, I want to keep her safe. I meet the guy and can instantly tell there’s something not quite right about him. He was nice to me but he seemed unnaturally shy and would rarely make eye contact with me.

And he would always try to buy my affection. As they continued to date, my mom would get mad at me for being cold to him. And of course I couldn’t articulate why I felt the way I did. Fast forward about a year, they are married. She finds out he has been sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet women. She divorced him and he knocked up some woman half his age.

So then she meets this guy, on the SAME SITE.

I met him and he seemed nice enough. Way more personable and outgoing but something still seemed off about this guy. He told my mom he was 52. Also, he told her he was in the Navy and was a SEAL. Obviously I was skeptical because SEALs don’t have to brag about being SEALs and he really didn’t seem the personality. Fortunately for me, one of my best friends’ step-dad was a legitimate Navy SEAL. I asked my mom’s boyfriend some details about it (when he served, his BUD/S class, etc.).

My friend’s step-dad has access to BUD/S class records and this dude is nowhere to be found. Told my mom and called the dude out on it, he folded and admitted he was in the Navy but lied about being a SEAL to impress the both of us. Not only that, but I get on this court records website the courts in our area use and find out he is not 52, but 60!

Mom is currently doing just fine living the single life.”

5. Sketchy AF

“After breaking up with my first girlfriend, she rebounded with a very sketchy dude at her work. Within a month, he was living with her and she had become a completely different person. I tried warning her she was being gaslit and manipulated. Her friends tried. But the dude had his teeth sunk in too deep and she was not listening to any of us.

After 6 months, he dropped the act and made up an elaborate story about his mother (who he had previously said died of cancer) having faked her death and being alive in California.

So he left for a week at which point he stopped all contact with my ex. She panicked and came to me saying she was worried. And within days, his entire construction fell like a house of cards, and it became clear he wasn’t coming back. He had gotten what he needed. My ex was devastated. I always did have a bad feeling about him.”

4. This Is A Rollercoaster Ride

“A few years ago, a friend of mine had gotten caught up in the ‘letgo’ app (like ebay and tinder had a baby). He found a crazy good deal on an Audi and wanted to check it out. I was apprehensive about the low price and how it was advertised in a lower income community. He told me not to worry and invited me to come along to check it out.

My friend was texting the seller throughout the day trying to make this deal happen.

He, his girlfriend, and I went to the seller’s house to check out this car. We couldn’t see the car anywhere and figured it was in a garage or something. We arrive at the house of the seller and we’re greeted by a young guy (early 20s) dressed in laid back, lazy day on the couch, bum-around the house basketball shorts and t shirt. At this moment, I knew something was up.

We hop out of our car and the seller leads us to the back yard of this little suburban house with no garage, but a shed – ALMOST wide enough to fit a car…

The seller says that the car is in the shed and his brother has the key. He begins to walk up the steps to the back door and from around the corner of the house pops out a thin guy with a hoodie and a ski mask on. His right hand is hidden behind the lining of his hoodie but is posturing that he has a weapon and is ready to shoot.

We all freeze.

Not because we’re paralyzed with fear, but because the absurdity of the moment.

It’s 2:30 in the afternoon on a bright sunny day in a modest suburb in everyday America, and here we are getting robbed.

I look at the seller and see the weakest surprised face I’ve ever seen. It was clear to me that this was a set up and we bit the hook. But luckily for us, these two guys were the laziest fishermen in the state.

We didn’t move an inch, we stood calmly and silently thinking the same thought: ‘If he actuality has a weapon, then we can panic.’

We stood there for a few seconds waiting for the ski mask to engage us and make his move, but he just stood there at the corner of the house! After about 30 seconds of silence, the ski mask dipped back behind the house and I urged us to leave. We pile back into our car and head back home.

Now, this should be a near miss story, and you all are waiting for the ‘I called it!’

You see, on the car ride home, my friend was trying to get back in touch with the seller!

He didn’t believe that the whole situation was a set up, and that we got out of it untouched because of the ineptitude of those guys. He kept texting him and told us to pull over at a gas station so he could try to get this Audi.

I sat and argued with him for literally 58 minutes, explaining that this car, this price, this seller, all of it, was a lie to try and rob us. I said, ‘We got lucky and avoided getting robbed or hurt or killed and now you want to go back and put the SAME HOOK IN YOUR LIP!?’

My friend argued that even a chance at a car at this low a price was worth it. ‘If I can arrange for this deal to happen somewhere in public, then I can get this car!’ He texted something to that effect to the seller and didn’t get a response. My friend started the car back up and we went home.

Later that evening, I was with my family watching the local news, and who should pop on screen? A mugshot of the guy who was ‘selling an Audi.’

He was caught by the police later that day for trying the exact same trick! I sent my friend a screen shot of the mugshot with the message:

‘Look, it’s your boy!’”

3. Preggers

“In Canada, we have a holiday called Family Day in February. In 2008, my wife was dealing with a sick family member out of town, and had come back for a visit.

We were trying to have a child at the time. Well, with our crazy schedules, we had one chance and it was on Family Day.

The moment we were done, I jumped up, gave her the double thumbs up (first time in my life) and said, ‘Bam! You’re pregnant.

Twin girls, red hair.’ Turns out I got everything right except the hair, her Italian genes beat me in that one.

I win for our entire marriage with that prediction.”

2. Lost And Never Found

“In college, I went to a theme park with my boyfriend, right before I moved away to California. He has really bad eyesight and had just gotten brand new glasses, I believe they were very expensive. As we’re going up the stairs in line for a roller coaster, I said, ‘Hey, why don’t you give me your glasses and I’ll stick them in my purse.’

He said, ‘Nah, it’ll be fine.’

And I said, ‘Are you sure? You’re making an expensive bet where if you win you just get to keep what you already have.’

And he said, ‘The forward momentum of the roller coaster will keep them on my face.’ So I thought, he’s an adult, whatever.

Literally first drop of the roller coaster I hear him yell over the roar of the wind, ‘DO YOU HAVE MY GLASSES???’ so we spent the next hour walking around the base of the roller coaster looking for them and leaving a report at the lost and found booth.

I then had to drive us home in his SUV, which I had never driven before, because I did not want him navigating blind.”

1. Blame Canada!

“When I was 19, my girlfriend and I, along with another friend of ours, took a road trip up to Toronto to visit a friend of ours who lived there during the summer. It was my first time leaving the United States since I came here when I was 3 years old, so I was excited.

We were there to see our friend but we had also heard that in Toronto they have these ‘novelty ID’ shops where you could get a fake ID from a U.S.

state. She was starting college in a few months, and I would be joining her the next semester, so we wanted to have fake IDs to be able to buy for ourselves.

We went into the city one day and found one of these shops. It was pretty crazy, they had a whole book of sample IDs featuring every state and also some other random novelty IDs. We heard from someone that Michigan was the one that looked the realest, so we made ours from there.

We paid them they gave us a form where we basically filled in all the info except an address. I told my girlfriend to make sure she got the year right, since she could be absent-minded sometimes and she said, ‘Yeah, yeah I got it, make sure you got your’s right.’

They took a picture for the ID and then handed me a Michigan State hoodie. Part of the cost included a second form of ID, in this case a college ID, and by wearing the hoodie it gave the illusion that the pictures were taken on different days.

After a short wait we had our two IDs and were set to be able to buy back in the US.

We get in the car and are about to drive back to our friend’s house. I ask my girlfriend to see her ID because I wanted to see if her address was the same as mine or if they used random ones. As I’m looking at her ID I notice that the year on hers is wrong. I told her, ‘Babe, you got the year wrong. This says you’re 20, not 21.’

She laughed and said, no it doesn’t, and grabbed the ID from me. She stared at the ID for a few seconds and then her smile turned into a scowl. She didn’t say another word for the rest of the ride back and I was trying so hard to hold back my laughter because I knew something like that was gonna happen.”

Got a moment or situation like this that you totally called? Ever get that nagging, gut feeling?

Well, you know what to do, right?

Share your story in the comments!

The post People Share the Times Their Gut Feelings Turned out to Be All Too True appeared first on UberFacts.

14 Times Parents Gave Babysitters Really Weird Rules to Follow

Babysitting can be a weird job. For many teens, it’s their first job, and it’s actually incredibly important. Taking care of somebody’s kids is not a small job… so why is the pay often less-than-spectacular?

Add on to that the fact that parents often leave lengthy lists for babysitters, covering things like feeding times and routines and screen time. Sometimes parents are a little over the top, though. These 15 babysitters told reddit the strangest rules parents gave them:

1. Severe allergy

Not necessarily a rule but the first time I went to their house they told me about their daughter’s very serious peanut allergy, walked me through the epi pen, prevention, phone numbers of their neighbors who were doctors- all fine so far. I took this very seriously. But then the mother put her hands on my shoulders and said “if she dies we wouldn’t blame you. It wouldn’t be your fault”. While I appreciate the thought this freaked me the hell out and I was 100 times less comfortable

2. Seems sketchy

The mom had me put her kids in their car seats and sit in the driveway with all the car doors open while she just hung out inside the house. 5 hours of me standing in the driveway watching them sit inside their car. Never returned.

Edit: I meant I never returned to babysit for her again, not that the mother mysteriously disappeared.

As for people asking why I didn’t take them somewhere, she specifically asked me to just sit in the driveway with them. I also didn’t have my drivers license yet so I couldn’t have taken them anywhere even if I wanted to. The kids were twins who were 4 years old, I think. They were weirdly, weirdly well behaved and didn’t complain about what we were doing. To this day I have no idea what she was doing inside or why she didn’t just let them play in the yard. I am just as confused as you.

3. Still in diapers at 6?

I had to change the kids cloth diaper every 2 hours on the dot. The kid was 6. I assumed it was for some sort of disability or something, but no. His parents just didn’t want to potty train him, and the kid was content with being babied. I remember just making the kid put his own diaper on and encouraged him to use the bathroom if he had to go. I never went back.

4. Bribery works

On the opposite end of the spectrum, The family gave me instructions to let their kids drink chocolate milk, which they were otherwise not allowed to have. I think they wanted their kids to associate baby sitter time with fun time, so the parents could go out more often. Seemed to work out well for them, the kids both grew up to be successful people.

5. Uh, no

Asked me to drive their three year old twins around in my personal vehicle for 2.5 hours because “that’s the only way they can nap”.

No. I simply put the kids in their beds, closed the door, and they were asleep in 15 minutes.

6. A bottle?

To give him warm milk in a baby bottle right after every dinner – he was a fully functional 10 year old boy.

Edit: To answer some of the quesions: Yes, he was fine with it; His parents were otherwise normal (as far as I saw), the kid himself was great; His teeth seemed fine from what I can remember (not that I really would have paid attention to that back then), but I just found him on facebook and it looks like he did have braces around 14-15 years old

7. Sleepy CD

I had to put the kids to sleep with the CD player going. That wasn’t the weird part.

It was a recording of their parents basically going “Molly, you are wonderful. You are a star. You’re going to shine bright.” That isn’t super weird…But it was like several hours long, and apparently they listened to it every night.

8. Let him out

“If Brady stands by the door it just means he needs to go out. Open the door, and let him back inside in a few minutes.”

Brady was a four year old boy.

9. No Fleetwood Mac

OMG thanks for asking because you reminded me of a weird thing.

The 3 year old daughter HAD to watch this vhs tape of a live Fleetwood Mac concert before bed.

I was like, okay cute , that’s adorable, 3 year olds love the weirdest things she’s so quirky and this will be fun.

But she didn’t love it. She always wanted to watch land before time instead. But it was always on the note left for me. Like /pager number, pediatrician, chicken soup for dinner is in fridge and, and WATCH FLEETWOOD MAC at 630 before bed/

Obviously the family eventually found out I wasn’t making her watch it, as I had no fucking reason to believe it was a secret. They were clearly upset by this and I was never called back to babysit.

So that was weird…

10. A stomach of steel

No hot sauce after 9pm.

Edit: To give some context, the kid LOVED hot sauce…but his folks were super over protective…maybe they had heard of ppl eating too much hot sauce an throwing it up as it would not settle?

Honestly the kid was made of solid steel…we went to Taco Bell pretty much every time I babysat.

11. This is a test

Wasn’t a rule, but on my first day they sent over an adult male friend of theirs who asked to come in. I said no, and was then told I was being tested and I had passed.

12. Not staying for a home birth

Hippy family. The two year old had no bedtime and no rules. “She can eat what she wants, no bedtime, and if she falls asleep, leave her wherever she crashed.” The parents came home at 2:30 to a toddler eating chocolate cake on the couch with her preferred American Pickers on tv. That’s fine apparently.

6 months later the mom is very pregnant and asks that when the baby is born, if I could wrangle the toddler while the mom gives birth in a bathtub at home. The two year old was to be in the room, watching, while I explain what’s happening. I left that evening when the parents came home (fried chicken in the toddlers hand, Keeping Up with the Kardashians on tv) and denied their next request to come sit. As a 20 year old, I wasn’t prepared to see the mess of someone else’s home birth!

13. Seems oddly specific

I was told that the only thing she specifically wasn’t allowed to do was eat a bowl of sugar

14. I heard you the first time

I used to babysit for this family when I was in high school (in the 80s) and they had no books or reading material of any kind, except that there would usually be like two sections of the WSJ and a running magazine lying around. No. Books.

Anyway, once I went over there and the mom told me like nine times, BEGGED ME, not to eat the box of ‘Nilla Wafers that was in the cupboard because she needed them for a recipe the next day. BEGGED. I was like, “Ok, got it. They’re totally safe because I don’t even like vanilla wafers!” She kept mentioning it, and it was the first thing she asked me about when they got home.

The post 14 Times Parents Gave Babysitters Really Weird Rules to Follow appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share Their Inexplicable Memories from Childhood

I have some odd childhood memories that I’ve never been able to explain. I’ve also never been able to shake them from my mind for one reason or another, and they are weird.

Do you have odd memories like that? Ones you can’t seem to get rid of from your past?

AskReddit users shared their weird, unexplainable memories from childhood.

Share your own in the comments!

1. A repressed memory?

“Every year at our cabin I have a dream I fall into the lake. Was told later that I fell in when I was younger. I never have this dream at home. Idk if the repressed memory is trying to tell me not to go on the water or just don’t be stupid and fall face first.”

2. No one believes me.

“When I was 10 or 11, I woke up very early in the morning to someone driving down our long driveway. It was dark outside, but I just barely peeped out my window to watch a man look into all of our car windows, survey our flower beds, and finally peer into my bedroom window. I played asleep and when I looked out the window again, he was driving backwards out of our driveway.

In the morning, I mentioned what I saw to everyone, but no one acknowledged hearing or seeing anything, despite the man’s headlights being very bright, maybe even switched to brights, and he slammed his car doors very loudly. But I can remember how scary it was having his face pressed against the window above my head and praying he didn’t try the lock. No one believes me to this day. I swear it was not a dream.”

3. Who was this kid?

“When I was a kid I had a classmate over who claimed he was a vampire. I didn’t believe him. I told him if his eyes glow in the dark that would prove he was a vampire.

We went into the bathroom and I turned off the light. His eyes were glowing. It scared the crap out of me. I opened the door, ran outside, jumped on my bike and got as far away from my house as I thought I could.

When I eventually came back home the classmate was gone and my dad was pissed that I abandoned my friend.”

4. Sounds kinda fishy.

“Breathing underwater. Turns out a lot of people have memories of being able to do something similar. Still haven’t gotten an explanation.”

5. My jaw dropped…

“My family and I were driving out of Bellows, a campsite/beach for military families in Hawai’i. I lazily gaze out the window and something catches my eye. About 30 feet away in a clearing before a metal gate leading into the forest was a massive bird. Like 8 feet tall massive. It had a long neck, brown feathers, and very thick long legs.

My jaw dropped and I was still processing what I had seen when my dad said, “What the hell was that?” Turns out he had seen it too, and we both described it identically. No one else saw it, and by the time our brains had caught up with our eyes it was too late to turn around.

I will always regret not turning around. When we returned later in the day there was nothing there. When we asked a guard about it he laughed at us. I scoured the internet afterward, and it looked like nothing I could find. At least, nothing that isn’t extinct- it looked amazingly similar to one of the larger species of moa… but those lived in New Zealand thousands of miles away and died out hundreds of years ago.

This happened back in 2009 and to this day I wonder whether I saw a Lazarus species.”

6. The same dream.

“My sister and I apparently both had the same dream one night, a scary one. We were staying in this villa where we had to share a room and we both woke up suddenly. The window was open, when it hadn’t been before. I realised she was awake as well and told her I’d had a bad dream, and as I started to describe it, she started talking along with me, describing the same dream.

In it, this black creature that looked like a bull, only it had shiny, scaly, plastic looking skin, was standing in the open window with this weird mechanical device, and it somehow fired a projectile at the lamp in the room, which started rocking back and forth. Neither of us wanted to get up and close the window in case the thing was actually out there, so we called for our mum and she closed it, reassured us in typical mum fashion, etc. For months we would talk about that incident and we could never figure out how we both managed to have the same exact dream at the same time.”

7. “On the brink of extinction”

“My mother walked into my room, waking me up to tell me that most of the world’s population was dead. I spent the rest of the day as normal, eating breakfast, going shopping with her, going to a playground, then eating dinner (albeit, acting quite nervous throughout). The next day, she tried to make it clear that what started the previous morning wasn’t true. I asked her if she remembered, but she told me she didn’t.

I’m certain it wasn’t a dream, because I recalled the rest of what happened the previous day to her, only to be met by her confirmation that everything I remembered was correct, right down to how shaky I was and how upset I seemed. All except for the part that humanity was on the brink of extinction.”

8. Peter Pan to the rescue.

“I used to have nightmares. My dad put up a poster of Peter Pan in my room and told me that when I went to sleep, Peter would fly out of the poster and chase all of the monsters away. I never had another bad dream.”

9. Was it real?

“I was like 3-5 years old when this happened. I woke one night while camping in a cabin, and I saw a cat tail dangle from this lamp. It’d sink down, and then disappear back up into the lampshade. It also started calling for me, going like “whoo hoo!”. Unnerved the hell out of little me… I can’t remember if I just never checked to see if there was anything there, or that I did check and there was nothing there. I chalk it up to just being so tired I was hallucinating.”

10. It was so surreal.

“The whole neighborhood thought I was kidnapped. I don’t really know why and what the actual fuck is the thought process of how they think that happened but apparently the people are frantically searching me. What I remembered is that my elder cousin and her husband took me to an internet cafe to let me watch them pick their wedding outfits.

When we returned, everyone was shocked, my brother smiles because he knew I was in trouble, my mom was crying, and my dad slapped the shit out of me. It was so surreal.”

11. A lightning strike.

“I remember being at a playground with my family and seeing lightning strike right in front of me. Didn’t hear any thunder, no one else saw it, but I remember seeing it pretty vividly. Not sure if there’s something that can go on in your brain that would cause something like that to happen, but I remember pleading with my mom to believe that I had just seen a lightning bolt strike right in front of me, and she just ignored me.”

12. Good golly, Miss Molly.

“When I was six, I had a girlfriend named Molly. I moved away the next year and never saw her again. For the next 40 years, one of my earliest and most vivid memories was me watching a six year old redhead girl running away from me, up towards her house, yelling, “Mommy, mommy, Jonathan kissed me!”, and her mother’s voice coming back, “We’ll, that must mean he really likes you.”

A few years ago, I’d had a little sangria and decided to see if Molly was on Facebook (I know, I know). There she was! Right name, right age, right hometown, lovely red hair. I PM’ed her asking if she was the right red headed girl. She wrote back that she was definitely the right Molly (and was happy to hear from me) but she’d only started dyeing her hair red after college. Memory’s a trip, man.”

13. That shifty little bastard.

“I remember, very vividly, seeing a leprechaun in the hallway of my house. It freaked me out so bad that I woke my mom up yelling “someone’s in the house!” We walked from room to room with kitchen knives looking for the leprechaun, but never found that shifty little bastard.”

14. You just did that.

“When I was about four or five, I was in the foyer by my front door when I saw my father come in the house, put down his briefcase, and then walk to my mother to give her a kiss on the cheek. Then the front door opened again; it was my father (again). I looked next to me where I had seen him put his briefcase; it was gone.

I looked back at him, scared, and said, “you just did that.”

I have never hallucinated in the more than 25 years since this happened, and nothing like it has ever happened since.”

15. Is Mom lying?

“I’m like 95% sure I sort of got hit by a car when crossing the street with my mom. There was a red light and we didn’t cross at a crosswalk. A car inched forward and I remember falling onto the hood? But I was fine. I used to literally get flashbacks. For years. But my mom swears it never happened. I think she’s lying.”

The post 15 People Share Their Inexplicable Memories from Childhood appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Admit Which Fictional Deaths Hit Them the Hardest

I have a ton of these. Johnny and Dally from The Outsiders immediately come to mind. Don’t even get me started on Old Yeller.

People on AskReddit shared the fictional deaths that hit them right in the gut.

What characters have died in books, movies, or TV that really affected you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

1. The Green Mile.

“John Coffey, The Green Mile. A sweet and innocent soul, blessed (or cursed) with the gift of sight. Sight into people’s hearts and minds. He was accused of murder having come across the bodies of two murdered children (whom he had tried to save). He healed and eased others suffering by taking it into himself.

The scene where he is in the electric chair, terrified, and everyone is watching with accusatory eyes. The guards know of his innocence and are heartbroken because there is nothing they can do. That scene gets me every time. Michael Clark Duncan was a magnificent pick for that role.”

2. That is sad.

“When I was a small child, my father invented stories about a truck that worked hard and drove challenging roads all over the world

Then, he ran out of stories, and sent the truck to the junkyard

Made me very sad as a small child who loved trucks

At age 66, makes me sad to remember.”

3. That is a difficult one.

“Brooks in Shawshank Redemption :’( .”

4. No spoilers back then.

“Spock. Saw it in the theater. Didn’t know it was comin. No internet spoilers back then, lol.”

5. Didn’t see that coming.

“Sweets from Bones.

Did not see that coming.”

6. All choked up.

“Charlotte in Charlotte’s Web. It’s been forty years and I still can’t even think about it without getting choked up.”

7. Upset about this one.

“Prim. Threw the book across the room. What was this all for?”

8. “I was inconsolable.”

“I read Where the Red Fern Grows as a teen. When the dog Old Dan died after saving Billy from a mountain lion. Followed by the other dog Little Ann of a broken heart. I was inconsolable.”

9. Poor Opie…

“Opie in Sons of Anarchy.”

10. Was rooting for him.

“Hank from Breaking Bad. Dude started the series as a stereotypical meathead that I thought I was gonna hate, but had one of the biggest character arcs besides Walt and Jesse. By the end I was rooting pretty hard for him. Imagine finding out someone close to you was a major druglord if you were a DEA agent IRL. That would have to be awful and embarrassing.”

11. Shocked by this one.

“Ned Stark. You watch the entire first season of GOT thinking he will be the main character and then he gets his damn head chopped off. It shocked me.”

12. Still sad about it.

“Sam the onion picker in Holes.

My man just wanted that lady to be his wife so they could live together in onion and peach filled bliss, and goddammit she wanted it too.

Still makes me sad to this day.”

13. Now and then.

“As a kid it was definitely Mufasa, that part of the film haunted me for months.

Now Yondu’s death makes me bawl, Romanoff’s makes my heart break and Danny’s death in Pearl Harbor is a very poignant one for me.”

14. Hits you hard.

“99, a deformed clone trooper who couldn’t serve in the clone wars and just worked as a janitor instead. When he sacrificed himself, that hit me.”

15. Too sad for me, can’t do it.

“The dog from Marley & Me.”

The post 15 People Admit Which Fictional Deaths Hit Them the Hardest appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Confess to the Deepest, Darkest Secrets They’re Hiding Right Now

Secrets can be terrible to have but delicious to hear about – as long as they have nothing to do with you.

So, sit back and relax, and enjoy the fact that none of these bombshells are gathering anxiety in your closet.

15. Dank memes.

“That the girl I’m currently dating and beginning a relationship with started messaging me on Facebook because she liked the memes I posted so much. We had never met and she thought I was cute and really funny, so she initiated things.

We tell people that we met by being introduced by her sister-in-law. I have no idea who her sister-in-law is, and have only met her a couple of times.

Everyone asks “how did you meet?” and we’re too embarrassed to tell the truth about dank memes and her pursuing me as a result.”

14. I was such an idiot.

“I’m very embarrassed to admit that I’m hurt over this so I haven’t told anyone. I was talking to someone for a few months and turns out, he has a girlfriend he never mentioned. We went on dates, kissed, and finally had sex.

Told me he’s working on ending the relationship but can’t right now because it’s complicated. Sounds like bullshit. I don’t want to tell my closest family and friends because I was such an idiot.”

13. The next best time.

“I bought the ring, I’m just waiting for a good time. Our vacation out of country is coming up but I don’t know how easy it will be to get a very expensive piece of jewelry with me without her noticing so I’m trying to find the next best time to propose.”

12. A stupid game.

“My gf, her friend, and I went out for mini golfing. I had the score card. I got second and my gf got third, but I botched the numbers and put her as second and me as third.

She was jumping up and down excited she beat me for the rest of the day, and even brought it up the next day.

I’m very happy my secret could make her this happy, even if just for a little bit over a stupid game.”

11. It’s the medicine.

“That i’m taking antidepressants. everyone thinks I’ve gotten my shit together on my own. but it’s the medicine that is keeping me going.”

10. A massive bill.

“When I was about 16, 3-way prank calling was a thing. If you 3-way called someone that person could call someone and on and on.

We had a line party of about 10 or so people. I was feeling bored and 3-way called a fetish porn line which played the introductory message for the whole party who thought it was hilarious.

1-800-WET-FART, 1-800-FAT-LADY, etc etc…

When the phone bill came it reflected a charge of 99 cents for each call I had made.

It was a massive bill.

My mom had no idea it was me. She got the charges removed and I’m glad I never had to explain why her 16 year old daughter was calling those numbers.

Edit The charges were likely from using the 3-way feature I’m not sure. I believe it was free to call the numbers. The numbers still showed up on the phone bill. My mom called the very first number on the bill and it was my friends grandmas house. The lady told her she didn’t have kids in the house. After that my mom dropped it and assumed the “wires got crossed”. Thankfully she never dialed any of the 1-800 numbers.”

9. I really miss her.

“I still really miss my ex, and nothing in my life has come close to filling that void. The thing is, we had a connection from day one and the relationship was really good and just flowed well. It was such an abrupt ending that I think I’m still in shock. We tried to stay friends, but it didn’t work out (mainly because I was still hurting at the time), and I really miss her.”

8. Literal decades.

“People used to confide in me who they had crushes on back in elementary school, I have been keeping that shit under wraps for literal decades now.”

7. He deserves a break.

“I bought my boyfriend tickets to see his favorite NFL team for his birthday. I’ve already got everything set and his boss will let him take the days off. He’s a hard worker and deserves a break.

Hopefully he likes it!”

6. We just don’t know how.

“My wife an I lost our unborn child 3 weeks ago. We still cant tell our family or friends. We just don’t know how.”

5. Stuck doing it.

“The one place I deliver to thinks I have Tourettes. About 5 months ago I started a job being a beer delivery driver. My first day on my route I was delivering to a gas station and there was an Utz snack truck ahead of me delivering as well.

So I’m standing outside my truck waiting to deliver and being bored I started saying Utz to myself in a weird fast way over and over again (pretty much how a samurai would say it I guess). I turn around and there is the manager of the gas station giving me a weird look. My dumbass thought it was a good idea to keep saying it to make him believe I have this weird tick of saying the word Utz. Even filling out his order for him I would throw in Utz. So I get in my truck and think to myself what the fuck did I just do and start cracking up. So for the past couple months everytime I deliver there I throw out the word Utz every couple sentences then get in my truck and start cracking up.

That might make me a shitty person but I’m pretty much stuck with doing it until I find a new job or route.”

4. In 2 and 1/2 years.

“I’m buying my mother a plane ticket to Salt Lake City for Christmas to visit my two brothers who live there one of which she hasn’t seen in 2 1/2 years.”

3. I hate it here.

“I’m studying to take the bar in another state with much better job prospects. I want to leave this state (have never lived anywhere else) because I hate it here. I will be far, far away from any family in the new state.

My family will freak. I’ve always been the one everyone goes to when shit needs fixed. My siblings have all done jack shit for my parents all of their lives. It’s always been my job. I’m bitter, and I want to force them to pick up some of the slack.

Plus, I want to live in a city that actually has stuff to do – not BFE where no one wants to be and everything shuts down at 4:30 pm.”

2. I can’t wait!

“My husband’s 40th birthday is next week. I’ve got tons of surprises planned — concert tickets, football game tickets, surprise party, lots of great gifts— but best of all— his entire family is coming into town to celebrate. I can’t wait! Shhh.”

1. Worst part of it all.

“There was a fly on our large (like $2000+) living room window, and my 3 year old daughter informed me of this. From my natural reflexes, I went to go smack it dead.

It must be noted I got married a few short weeks before this, and wearing a wedding ring was still new to me. Also, I picked a tungsten carbide ring. Yes, one of the heavy beasts.

The initial sound of the metal on glass was enough to realize I fucked up bad. I left a small dent in that glass, not as bad as it could have been. Enough for me to notice, but not too noticeable unless you look for it.

Worst part of it all, I didn’t kill the fly.”

Got any secrets you want to get off your chest? That’s what the comments section is for. Don’t worry, we won’t share it with anybody else.

The post 15 People Confess to the Deepest, Darkest Secrets They’re Hiding Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Ridiculous Things They Had to Explain to Adults

Patience can be hard to find when an adult is asking questions they should have learned the answer to a long time ago.

And y’all. These 15 questions are things my toddler already knows.

15. If you really want it…

14. Oh, sweet pea.

13. I don’t even know what to do with that.

12. I mean, that’s how you draw a stick figure.

11. If only those did exist.

10. There’s definitely something fishy going on here.

9. You can buy clothes that way, though.

8. Maybe an experiment is in order, yeah?

7. This is just downright horrifying.

6. At least now you know to never eat his food at the pot luck.

5. That’s definitely not a thing.

4. How does that even make sense.

3. It’s new, but not new new. You dig?

2. Privilege can’t make up for everything.

1. They do in Looney Tunes cartoons.

I really hope brain freezes or sleep deprivation is to blame, because yikes.

Has this ever happened to you? Share with us…if you dare.

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