People Who Escaped A Serious Accident Unscathed Share Their Experiences

When faced with mortality, how can you ever look at things the same?

Life and death experiences are teaching tools—pay attention.

Redditor CrownedBird wanted to hear from everyone who was lucky enough to be able to tell us their close call story.

They asked:

“What moment made you say ‘Yep, I’m definitely dead,’ but survived with no major injuries?”

Shattered

“Not me, but my mom before I was born.”

“She was riding in a convertible with a friend of hers.”

“They came to an intersection and the friend wasn’t paying attention and lost control of the vehicle.”

“There was a big rig going through the intersection and they went right under the trailer.”

“My mom ducked, the driver didn’t not.”

“Driver was decapitated, my mom was lucky and only ended up with a scalp full of glass and some serious psychological trauma.”

“She had to get over 200 stitches in her scalp, but nothing else significant.”

“I think about it all the time and think how close I came to never being born at all.”  ~ Laszerus

Taking the Bend

“I was at the end of a 2 hour journey about 10 mins from home, pretty rural and I was probably complacent because I took that road everyday.”

“I took a bend at 40MPH (legal limit was 60MPH so wasn’t breaking any speeding rules) which I’ve done many times before, probably faster which looking back was really reckless.”

“Didn’t see until it was too late that a car had spun out on the other side of the corner and another car had pulled up to help.”

“I slammed on but I wasn’t going to stop in time before hitting the cars pulled up/crashed.”

“I was hurtling straight towards the other cars and people who where stood in the road from the other crash.”

“It was like time slowed down and I was at a cross roads; in my mind I had three choices.”

“Continue on my path and hit the other cars and people, veer to the right and go into a field but there was oncoming traffic and there was a chance I’d hit them or veer to the left and fly into a wooded area.”

“I chose the last option, and in that moment I knew the chances of me surviving or not being seriously injured after a 40MPH head on collision to a tree in a 10 year old Ford KA was pretty slim.”

“I just felt a complete peace come over me, turned the wheel and woke up slumped over the steering wheel to some poor man shouting ‘OMG I THINK SHES DEAD!!’”

“Turned out I passed out from shock or something before the impact so when I hit the tree I was completely floppy and this contributed to me having no serious injuries.”

“The front of my car was completely disintegrated, after coming to I tried to put my clutch down to take the car out of gear out of habit and my foot hit the tree trunk.”

‘The tree was absolutely fine. I drove past that tree everyday for years after and you could see the chunk my car took out of it.”  ~ Comfortable-Pie8349

Falling to Doom

“I had an idiot friend and we were hiking.”

“We got to this waterfall and he goes ‘dude let’s climb it!’”

“I said no f**king way.”

“He says ‘well I’m gonna do it and if I fall and die it’s on you for not coming.’”

“So I climbed it with him.”

“Got stuck halfway up on a slick a** rock.”

“Pinched a nerve in my shoulder, so my right arm was useless.”

“I thought I was certain to slip off the rock to my doom, but we managed to get me unstuck.”

“That was the beginning of the end for that friendship.”  ~ blindfire40

Rolling in the Deep

I survived a car crash that wrecked my car.”

“Rolled twice, landed upside down, learned the hard way that I didn’t have airbags (or at least they didn’t deploy).”

“Did have my seatbelt on though, that probably saved me.”

“Paramedic said he hadn’t seen a wreckage like that and have it end well.”

“Not even a hairline fracture.”  ~ Chempenguin

Well this is it…

“I went out for a surf on a stormy day and thought to myself, ‘no one else is out, those idiots.’”

“Before being held down by 2 waves after eating it on the first wave of the set.”

“First wave of the session.”

“Was thrown down and held under and while being tossed around my leg rope wrapped around both my legs and one of my arms so I was probably being held at around 5ft under with only one arm free while my board tombstoned.”

“Board tip is barely visible at the surface but floats vertical like… a tombstone.”

“Finally managed to catch a breath between sets before taking another 3 or 4 on the head and for sure just thought… well this is it.”

“No ones out, fishermen will find my body or my board.”

“Managed to get my other arm free and got to shore very quickly and then avoided the ocean for a few days even though the waves were absolutely perfect.”

“There’s a reason no one was out, everyone else was 10 minutes down the road at another beach where the waves were smaller and cleaner.”  ~ Gigiskapoo

In Air Issues

“Parachute deployed but failed to open.”

“That was one of those moments, than training kicked in.”

“Cut away failed chute, deploy secondary.”

“But for a brief moment life was about to be over in my mind.”  ~ GREYDRAGON1

Hanging in the Balance

“Tire popped going over a two lane road with steep drops on both sides.”

“My car jerked to the side hard, and my car went sideways.”

“Half my car hung over the side and luckily it’s low so it bottomed out.”

“I climbed into the back seat and jumped out the back door.”

“Some dude in a truck pulled me out and I drove on a flat to the other side and swapped my tire out.”  ~ pineappledaddy

How Am I Alive?

“I was driving in the left lane of a highway going 80.”

“A car didn’t check their bond spot and merged into me.”

“I was run off the road and lost control of the car.”

“It flipped and dragged along the highway for 200 feet.”

“I remember the sparks flying up at me in slow motion.”

“The only damage to be was cuts on my arm from done glass.”

“My girlfriend just had a few cuts on her leg.”

“When I look at the photos of the car it doesn’t look like anything could have survived that.”  ~ ImpressivelyLost

From the Rear

“I was driving down a highway, doing 65 MPH, and suddenly my car started to shake.”

“I tapped the brakes in reflex and my entire car flipped 180 degrees.”

“I’m now facing oncoming traffic, including a semi truck.”

“I was so close I couldn’t see the driver compartment.”

“I screamed and jerked the wheel, bringing me in front of a sedan with two people screaming as they watched me appear out of nowhere.”

“I kept screaming and floored the gas pedal.”

“Made it to the side of the road and cried for a long time.”

“I had blown a rear tire. Hitting the brakes was a terrible terrible choice.”  ~ AhFFSImTooOldForThis

Bad Highways

“I was driving home from college on one of those highways with only one lane in either direction and no shoulder.”

“A guy in the oncoming lane didn’t see me as I was in a small car.”

“He thought he could pass 4 18 wheelers in one go and pulled into my lane going at least 90.”

“There was no where for me to go.”

“He flew off into the ditch to avoid hitting me head on, likely did severe damage to his car, but I lived!”  ~ pilatesse

That is a lot to process.

I never want to get in a car again and skydiving is definitely out.

People Describe The Exact Moment They Instantly Regretted Showing Up For A Date

Sometimes we’re just better off being alone.

That is a life fact many of us need to come to grips with.

So Redditor Zuzpo wanted to hear from everybody who has been disappointed on the search for a mate—sometimes that free dinner just ain’t worth it.

They asked:

“What was the moment you realized that you shouldn’t have showed up to a date?”

I’m Pooped Out!!

“An alleged friend told me her coworker and I would be great together and wanted to do a double date at a festival with her and her husband.”

“Date suggested he and I meet up the night before to get to know each other and I suggested a gaming bar I’d wanted to try.”

“Date time arrives and he’s not there.”

“He finally shows up and tells me he had to stop home to let the dogs out so they don’t s**t all over the floor.”

“He then proceeds to show me a picture of a floor covered in dog s**t and says guess it didn’t work.”

“He is still wearing his work clothes.”

“It has been three hours since work ended and he went home to deal with the dogs but didn’t change.”

“He proceeds to eat the rest of the charcuterie plate I ordered by himself and then orders wings for himself.”

“We decide to check out a game since I have now paid for more game time.”

“He wants a mall madness game that is not designed for two people.”

“We settle on a playable game. It’s not great.”

“As we are wrapping up he tells me the last date he took here fucked him in the parking lot he stares at me expertly.”

“I tell him that’s not going to happen.”

“I tell my friend I’m skipping the festival.”

“He’s shocked and thought we had a spark.”  ~ Polyf**kery

Wouldn’t it be better to just be gay?

“My mom met a nice girl during the day, unknown to me.”

“My mom and I were supposed to go out for dinner that night.”

“She invites the girl, unknown to me, then ditches the dinner once she knows she has set me up on a date.”

“My mom was very worried I was gay at the time.”

“The girl and I get to chatting over drinks, she’s fun, flirty, cute – and a meth-addicted prostitute who thought it was some weird kink game that she was being hired to get into the middle of.”

“So…YEA. She was understanding when we realized the mix-up, but I gave my mom shit for that one for years.”   ~ Yvaelle

Maybe I’ll Drive

“He was picking me up and texted me ‘here’ a little early so he had plenty of time to do this before I got down to his car.”

“But he waited until I opened the door and there was about a dozen magazines (like rifle mags) on the passenger’s seat and he said ‘hope you’re not some crazy liberal! don’t mind these mags.’”

“And then brushed them onto the floor. It was super awkward/cringy.”

“Also it was my first date since I rough breakup and the rest of it was just as bad if not worse, I ended up crying in the bathroom half way through.”  ~ lebrunjemz

From Hinge to “Unhinged!”

“Matched with a girl on Plenty Of Fish, we were talking for a while and she worked out she knew someone I had worked with in the past.”

“I asked him what she was like, he said she’s ok and not ‘mental or anything’, little did I know he really didn’t like me because I was better at the job then he was and he was straight up lying his a** off.”

“So I arrange a coffee date between our houses, she only lived like 5-10 minutes away and the nearest shopping centre cafe was 10 minutes away.”

“I arrive and wait a few minutes and in walks this girl 10-15kg heavier then her display picture with a baby in a pram, she recognised me and sat down like this was normal.”

“The entire time we had been talking she’d told me she had a daughter who was 2, I told her I had a 2 year old son as well.”

“Turns out her daughter was 2 months not 2 years and she never corrected the fact.”

“Also this is the first time we had met and she asked me 5 minutes into the date if I could buy her baby formula.”

“One look at her and I could tell she actually needed the formula and was in a desperate situation so I bought it for her because I’m a sucker and didn’t want her baby to starve.”

“I politely told her it was never going to work because she straight up lied, she said yeah fair enough and left.”

“About 2 months later I was talking to another girl on POF who happened to be friends with her, she seemed normal and not like the complete psychopath I’m sure she was.”

“The crazy one from the first part of the story rang me (she stalked me through my friends) and told me how the 2nd one was bats**t mental, I said I didn’t believe her and she hung up on me.”

“Ten minutes later my messenger starts going off, it’s girl #1 sending film clips and news articles of girl #2 having a complete psychotic break and torching her ex boyfriends car.”

“On camera in a shopping centre.”

“So it all worked out well and I dodged the bigger bullet because girl #1 thought I was too nice a guy to deserve girl #2.”  ~ Aussiegamer1987

Stalker

“I went on a date a few months after me and my college gf had broken up.”

“I had matched with this girl off of tinder and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the break up.”

“I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later.”

“I walked in the restaurant and my ex is sitting at the table under that girl’s name.”

“I turned around to walk out and got a tinder notification from the girl I had agreed to meet ‘you’ll never be able to get away from me.’”

“Should have stayed home that night, and steer clear of blind dates.”  ~ Automatic_Doctor4934

Good Luck

“When at the party I met her at and her boyfriend said ‘Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her s**t.’”  ~ cleric3648

Use an Uber

“When he said ‘wow you even walk like a guy!’”

“As soon as he got out of my car. Whatever that means.”

“He then proceeded to be racist, sexist, and homophobic during this ‘date’, which was more of a monologue from his part, and even implied I’m fat and that he had no interest in me before trying to kiss me.”

“Please don’t take people you don’t know on dates using your car.”

“You’ll be stranded with them.”   ~ redvaporeon-sk

And you are?

“When he said he was actually from an entirely different state.”

“He looked completely different from his photos and then asked if he could borrow $400 for Methadone before we even ordered.”

“I left immediately. Been stalking me for over ten years. Fun times.” ~ AlienFemTech

Suspicious Behavior

“She was a kleptomaniac.”

“Thought she was exaggerating or maybe just went through a tough time.”

“Then she showed me the pile of legal paperwork.”

“She was on 1st name terms with the judge she had been to court so many times.”

“Then she asked me to touch her back.”

“Said she felt super sweaty from the MCAT she’d taken and then showed me how she disposed of her used needles because she was a heroin addict.”

“Should have noped out sooner but she was sweet but yeah, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend.”  ~ DeadlyChaffinch

Gross…

“When he didn’t let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids chicken tender meal- I’m 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself he spit pieces of chicken at/on me.”  ~ EstetheAinur

Yeah, I’m just going to plan for a Golden Girls scenario.

This is nonsense—wildly entertaining to read about… but nonsense none the less.

People Break Down The Most Overrated Films Of All Time

We love movies and it’s that time of year again—the time when movies are extra special.

It’s awards season!

The one thing that’s always examined in awards season, is seasons past.

Everyone loves to discuss the movies that failed to live up to the hype.

Redditor hootyowlscissors wanted to discuss all movies where the hype just didn’t add up.

They asked:

“What is the most massively overrated film of all time and why?”

Reddit was quick to respond…

Reese couldn’t make it work…

“Water for elephants. The book was really good but the movie barely told the story.”  ~ Icy_Gap6980

“I LOVE Reese Witherspoon but I find she often doesn’t have chemistry with men in her movies.”

“She plays characters where it works anyways, but I can’t think of anything where she really amazing chemistry with a costar.” ~ ingenfara

“I loved the movie, but heard that people who read the book (which I still haven’t) wouldn’t have liked it.”

“The same thing was true about ‘The Firm.’”

“I had read the book and saw it in the theater with a friend who hadn’t.”

“She thought it was one of the best movies she’d ever seen, and I said ‘That’s not in the book!’”

“So many times, the man in front of me turned around and told me to shut up.”  ~ notthesedays

The Oscar Upset!!

“Shakespeare in Love. And it beat Saving Private Ryan for best picture FFS…”  ~ Millerzeit

“I used to think the same but the real winner should have been life is beautiful.”

“Saving Private Ryan is a masterpiece but life is beautiful is cinema perfection.”

The character is amazing and the things he did for his son.”

“Ugh i cry every time i see it because through all that nonsense his son never got to see the brutality of it and he got his tank.” ~ crazymo121

“Yes Shakespeare in love was operated.”

“But for comedy I think it good.”

“Geoffrey Rush’s role he played was just great.”

“I think if some one besides Gweneth was cast, it might have been much better.”

“Could not stand Saving Private Ryan, but one of my husband’s favorites.”  ~ happyhappy2986

press stop…

“Crash. Pure pandering, shi**y script, one-dimensional characters, the whole shebang that should not have even been nominated for crap.”  ~freebird12g

The Blue People…

“HOLY S**T NO ONE STILL LIKES AVATAR STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!”

“Now it’s overHATED.”  ~ devilthedankdawg

“Seriously, it’s an ok movie.”

“It has good but not crazy good reviews, and that’s totally fair.”

“But Saying it’s ferngully/Pocahontas/Dances with Wolves doesn’t make you smart, you are just repeating the same thing said by every person ever.”

“It just got an insane amount of money because of the spectacle of it and how much word of mouth it had to.”

“And, yeah, to give credit to Avatar, it looks FANTASTIC. It still looks a lot better than a lot of CGI today!”  ~ Lucienofthelight

But it has Sandra…

“Bird box.”  ~ Loooooooooppp

“The book was very good in my opinion.”

“I watched the movie and it made me so mad. Horrible movie.” ~ FrenchMushr00m

“This movie always annoyed me, the ending was so convenient and there was no catharsis or lessons learned, as well the monsters ability was never shown.”

“I thought the movie would have been much better it had ended with her after accepting responsibility and love for the adopted child and taking the boat down the rapids.”

“She would elect not to wear a mask to protect the children.”

“She would inadvertently see a monster and then ‘witness’ her child and adopted child die in the rapids, and she is so ridden with grief she kills herself.”

“The children would not actually have died and they would find the sanctuary.”

“I feel like that would have given the movie a meaning and an edge that was missing.” ~ OHFUGGYEAHBUDS

Poor Arnold…

“I digress, the most underrated film of all time is Conan the Barbarian circa 1981.”  ~ FinancialArtichoke75

“I liked that film but got mocked by my classmates for having it on DVD, so I lied, and I said it was a porno and the label read Conan as a diversion.”

“And then I didn’t get mocked.”

“Anyway, what I really came to say was that the question was about overrated films, and you replied about underrated films.”  ~ Kriskao

Nonsense…

“I have two:”

“The Purge movies.”

“Not only is the premise mind numbingly illogical with so so many ramifications, but I find it really hard to believe that the entire country would go on killing sprees instead of stealing s**t and doing drugs.”

“Paranormal Activity. Oh no, the chair suddenly moved after a half hour of nothing else happening!”  ~ Yuiopy78

“It was a way to ‘stir up the hornets nest’ if that makes sense.”

“They wanted to justify the first purge so they could repeat it annually.”

“They wouldn’t have been able to do so if crime was low on that specific night so they used mercs instigate some violence.”

“The ‘concept’ of the purge is that overall it would decrease crime and homelessness since everyone would be releasing their anger on purge night and ultimately targeting homeless people.”

“Great movie concept, illogical as f**k though.”

“Later in the series we find out the purge does nothing towards crime and poverty and I just an excuse for rich people to go bats**t crazy.”  ~ inframeWS

“Let it Go… Let it Go…”

“Frozen. I liked the idea of two female leads for a Disney Princess movie, but I feel the execution was off the mark.”

“The Hans twist was predictable and the way Elsa freezes Anna’s heart to trigger an ‘impending death’ was just stupid.”

“Olaf was also annoying and I did not find his love of Summer endearing.” ~ TelemachusTheYoung

Not THAT movie!

“The English Patient. I almost got thrown out of the theater at one point for screaming ‘just f**king die already!’”  ~ 12altoids34

“I used to ask people what movie they hated that everyone else seems to love.”

“It was one of my favorite questions to get to know someone.”

“I eventually had to modify it to say ‘what movie do you hate that everyone you know loves, but it can’t be The English Patient’ because literally everyone hated it.”  ~ crankyweasels

Lost in Space…

“Gravity. Everyone raved on it and how amazing it was.”

“I once described the entire film to someone in 10 seconds.”  ~ sfkf8486

“If you watched it in theatres, it was amazing.”

“If you watched it at home it sucked.”

“Everything amazing about it was atmosphere and immersion.”  ~ Ardentpause

In the end art is subjective.

There are a few movies on this list I really liked.

Except for The English Patient.

When I think about the six hours I wasted… sorry three hours, it just felt like six.

Anybody feel the need to add to the list?

Teachers Disclose The Absolute Worst Thing A Student Has Ever Done To Them

Being a teacher is one of the most noble professions there is, but it’s not a walk in the park.

Teachers are underpaid and underappreciated.

Besides teaching, the amount of drama they have to deal with is unimaginable.

So Redditor TheRealZFinch wanted to hear from all the educators who have had to endure while teaching other people’s children.

They asked:

“Teachers of Reddit, what’s the worst thing a student did to you?”

Evil Parents

“I had a parent push me, spit on me and slap me when she came to my classroom unannounced, because I had given her daughter a detention for spitting in my face.”

“Parent denied it, school did nothing. Don’t teach anymore! I’m in Australia FYI.” ~ Apprehensive-Ad4244

“My girlfriend also wants to quit teaching because of shitty kid’s parents.”  ~ NeokratosRed

“I feel for you, you do years worth of difficult training because you want to work with and help children, change the world for the better, and you wind up being crap on every day instead by parents.”

“Luckily, teaching skills are very transferrable, I’m now in the disability services industry.”  ~Apprehensive-Ad4244

Bad Kids…

“A friend of mine is a teacher is a rough neighborhood.”

“One day immediately after school she got a call from the principal telling her to stay in her classroom with the door locked instead of leaving like she normally did.”

“The police arrested one of her students, who had bragged to another student about kidnapping the teacher.”

“He was arrested waiting by her car with a knife and zip ties.”  ~ SoullessDad

Private School Drama…

“I was slammed against a wall by a 17 year old kid who then wiped his hands all over my face and kissed me.”

“One other student saw and she laughed. I left the position immediately. It was a private drama school.”  ~ Ieatclowns

Birmingham UK…

“I’ve been mostly lucky, but I’ve had 2 bad ones, both while training.”

“Both these were in Birmingham UK.”

“A student aged 7 brought a Stanley knife into school and was taking it out of his pocket and messing with it while looking straight at me.”

“It was pretty scary knowing he knew exactly what he was doing.”

“A very aggressive child attacked me, digging his nails into my arm and drawing blood. He then twisted my arm backwards.”

“That was a fun report.”

“I’ve also had a chair thrown at me. Fun times.”  ~ Winchesters_TARDIS

“Hey, also Birmingham, UK here!”

“But I am still a student, in Sixth Form right now.”

“The following stories are all from secondary, though.”

“One of my friends almost started a physical confrontation with a teacher, to the point that they were physically yelling at each other and squaring up.”

“Another time a group of boys yelled sexual expletives at a female member of staff (the boys that few people liked, the number of their friends decreased YoY).”

“Teachers started searching students bags because so many people were bringing in weapons. “

“In a school near mine, a teacher got stabbed, chairs were being thrown around, a teachers arm got broken, it was bad – but that wasn’t my school.”

KABOOM!

“Mine still had its fair share of incidents not pertaining to teachers, but we were not that bad thankfully.”  ~ mxlevolent

“I’ll never forget the day I had a student light off a firework in my classroom.”

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever had a student do in my classroom, but it’s definitely the most unexpected thing that I’ve had happen.”

“I’ve been called things by students, and I even got pushed by a student once.”

“But looking back on all of those situations I feel as if they could have been avoided had I built up better relationships with those students or handled the situations that lead up to them differently.”

“With the firework in class, it was completely out of the blue and not at all something I feel like I could have prevented.”

“It just happened randomly one day, and I will never understand why the student decided to set it off during class.”  ~ DerekIsAGooner

Feeling the Bounce!!

“I had a student run into me and bounce off of me.”

“She then accused me of shoving her and hurting her back.”

“I was relieved of my position and I resigned.”

‘”Fortunately the footage shows that I was hit by her, but I still lost my job.”

“After an inquiry with the Texas Education Agency they found i did nothing wrong and I got to keep my license.”

“Fortunately I was offered a position with a government contractor making more money with a lot less stress.”

“I never want to step foot in a classroom as a teacher ever again.”  ~ Damnpenguins4269

Let Go!!

“I had a student grab my arm, then later claim I grabbed him back.”

“His parents wanted to press charges, have me arrested, but the SRO refused, as he’d already taken a dozen witness statements corroborating my version.”

“I got very lucky. Another teacher had to sit for months at central office while CPS investigated baseless claims.”  ~ lazy_days_of_summer

“Out loud to the whole class, I had a student wish cancer on my unborn son.”

“Had another student say he would shoot my wife.”

“This one wasn’t so bad, but could’ve been—one female student started a rumor that she was my favorite and that I thought she was cute.”

“I had to proactively reach out to leadership to put that one down before it got bad.”

“In general, tons of swearing and disrespect.”

“Most of it is due to childhood trauma and home life, but yeah, teaching is great but being a teacher can suck.”  ~ mywifemademegetthis

Feel the Warm

“I taught toddlers, and they consistently wanted to sit in my lap.”

“I had a few girls climb up in my lap, smile sweetly, and pee all over me. It’s amazing how a 5-gallon bladder fits in a pint sized body.”  ~ schnozzberryflop

Terrifying…

“I taught elementary kids in Korea and they were honestly angels.”

“But when I subbed for a friend’s high school class for a week I had a student and his friends try to lock me in the classroom alone with them while they acted really overbearing and sexual.”

“It was terrifying, but thankfully didn’t last long at all as the VP came to have lunch with me 2 minutes in.”  ~ punctuationist

Crazy

“A colleague was stalked by a kid.”

‘”Found out where she lived, where she shopped, what her routine was.”

“Used to get her friends to stand outside her house and harass her outside Tesco.”

“She would make comments in class, such as ‘aren’t green curtains nice?’”

“Knowing the teacher had green curtains, for example.”

“It got so bad she got the police involved and ended up moving house.” ~ Evening_Rose_619

We need our educators.

They don’t deserve abuse.

Be better kids and parents.

People Who Work In Remote Places Break Down The Creepiest Things They’ve Ever Experienced

Some jobs require employees to work in unique locations outside of the typical office job.

While unconventional job locations provide an environment that prevents fatigue experienced by others who constantly work under fluorescent lighting, working in remote locations can experience unsettling feelings while on the clock.

Curious to explore examples of this, Redditor shafaatkhan007 asked:

“Redditors who work at remote places like forest officers, oil rig workers, etc, what creepy things have you noticed while at work?”

A Bloody Discovery

“I worked at a public forest. One day we had someone report a dead animal on the side of one of our trails. A few of us from the front desk hiked out to see what it was. It looked like a giant peice of…liver maybe? Just a pile of smooth red meat…no blood around.”

“And it was wrapped up in a t shirt, with some coins scattered around it. We called our rangers to go check it out, and one of them was pretty sure it was a placenta.”

“The weird part is, you have to check in thru a front desk. So someone either snuck a placenta/liver in or gave live birth/removed an organ on our trails. We never got an answer on what the pile of meat was, how it got there, or why.” – WhiteOwlz

The Body

“I do a lot of stream work so I spend time out in pretty rural areas walking streams and rivers. Once my coworker and I were working in a more urban environment and came across what we initially thought was a body – which of course triggered ‘Oh sh*t!!’ from us – but it ended up being a firefighter’s dummy that had fallen down a hill. We felt pretty dumb.”

“Other notable things include a small grave in the middle of nowhere for someone’s dog (pretty sad), and a stuffed rabbit with shotgun shells placed where its eyes should be, a mannequin very purposely placed in a chair in the middle of the woods, and lots of little random alters.”

“I also did work in Myrtle Beach (what a hell hole) and accidentally walked into an inhabited homeless camp. I was peering into a stormwater grate when I looked up and saw a homeless person standing in his shelter staring at us and saying nothing. I felt like I was trespassing so we quietly left.” – RegularTeacher2

Suspicious Sound

“I used to work in a ship and we’re usually gone 3 to 10 months at a time. I worked night shift so this meant I would sleep in the sleeping quarters during day time with either just me or a handfull of other crew members where usually there’d be 20 to 30 of us in there.”

“It wasn’t so bad. Actually I really liked because it’s a lot more peaceful sleelimg during the day. You don’t hear anybody else snoring or someones footsteps because they have to piss or something like that.”

“All you can hear is the light creak of the walls and the floors of the ship and all you can feel is the sway of it on the ocean. A bit haunting and creepy of you really think about it but I like it.”

“All that ended when there was a short period of time was literally only 2 of us in there or at least that’s what I thought. I started hearing light taps across the room. At first they were light taps. Then it would get a bit faster. Sometimes it’ll get a bit louder. I’d ignore it if it wasn’t so utterly annoying.”

“I look at where the other guys is sleeping and he seems to be fast asleep accompanied by his light snoring. 2nd day, there it goes again. I tried to follow the sound but for some reason it bounced around the room like an echo.”

“Eventually it comes to an abrupt halt. So I try to sleep it off. During work at night I tried to ask my mate about it but he said he was too tired to even notice. I guess I’m alone on this pursuit.

“3rd day I take my pursuit one step futher by not sleeping right away. I’d be fully awake when it starts so I’ll have a better chance of discovering the source. There it goes again. This time I go from one empty rack to the next until finally it was loud as f’k, tapping in progress.”

“My heart was thumping like a jackhammer. I pulled the curtain to the side. There laid the biggest dude I’ve ever seen on the ship holding his d*ck mid stroke. You have no idea the speech I prepared for this guy, in my head, for keeping me up for several days but at that exact moment I had no idea what to say.”

“Of course I gave out a small yalp which didn’t help the situation. I never thought I’d be locking eyes with another dude while he’s gripping his dong when I began this honorable pursuit.”

“With the current situation I mustered my best attempt at displaying my annoyance. It somehow came out as an apology followed by ‘I keep hearing tapping noises.’ He hadn’t said anything yet but at that exact moment, I realized that his elbow that which belong to the fapping arm is resting right on the wall probably banging on it over and over and over.”

“I didn’t wait for a reply. I nodded my head, kind of rolled my eye and walked away. It will never be easy trying to avoid a big guy like him everyday in the same sleeping quarters.” – Chevrons21

Isolation Fears

“I work on North sea oil rigs on an ad-hoc basis (off the coast of Scotland).”

“Wouldn’t say anything was particularly paranormal creepy but it can be very unsettling/weird place.”

“Fog can come rolling in out of nowhere and other rigs you can see off the sides can disappear in front of your eyes. Sometimes you can’t see the walkways 6ft in front of you or if you’re walking over grating you can’t see the sea below your feet (about 60m down from feck to sea) but you can hear it, all be it muffled. The fog can roll in over the course of a few minutes too so a perfectly clear day becomes pea soup.”

“You can also feel the rig moving/swaying on high winds /rough seas. Even though it’s a fixed leg Platform. Very unnerving to feel your office swaying when it shouldn’t be.”

“My last trip was my first ever Nightshift and I found it particularly unsettling as you’ve got the background noise of the plant but I walked around the whole rig without seeing another living soul for the whole shift (usually there are about 130 people on board although smaller rigs have smaller headcounts) .”

“Usually once a trip im hit by this awareness that you are just very isolated and in the middle of no where (most rigs I’ve worked on are an hour’s chopper ride from land). So if things go wrong it can escalate very quickly.” – sootsprite13

While many may scoff at the prospect of sharing a crowded space with other coworkers, it could be better than the alternative.

Constantly working in isolation with no one to distract you can be nerve-wracking over time and your imagination can wind up playing some cruel tricks.

People Share The Weirdest Pizza Toppings They’ve Ever Tried

Pizza may have roots in Italy, but it is now a global phenomenon.

That international appeal has led to some creative local flair.

But not everyone thinks creativity is the secret to a great pie.

Redditor mrlogman asked:

“What’s the weirdest pizza topping you’ve heard of or tried?”

C’est Mangnifique

“I was in france and had a pizza with my dad that was Loaded with toppings.. three fried eggs were on the list. there was bacon and really good cheese and sausage and stuff. Very tasty.” – dirkachbar

A Teen’s Take

“I use to be a pizza chef in my late teens at my parents pizzeria.”

“I once made a chocolate calzone (without cheese), it was sickly/revolting.” – anon

When In Cambodia

“spiders and marijuana, not together but both in Cambodia.” – anon

Ruff To Swallow

“dog. I’m serious. I didn’t try it, but I have had zebra tacos.” – new_bedlam

Pineapple Still Raises Questions

“I used to think the same thing. Pineapple and canadian bacon/bacon on a pizza would freak me out. It’s a fruit, I would say.”

“Then, one fateful day, I tried it. Seriously, it’s delicious. The slightly sweet tang coupled with the melted cheese and the salty canadian bacon/bacon, maybe throw in some green peppers for effect…”

“I’m going to order one now. Seriously, try it. You won’t be disappointed.” – anon

A Little Garnish Goes A Long Way

“If you do like pineapple on pizza, try pineapple, ham, mint and feta cheese (Don’t use feta instead of mozzarella, just use the feta as a topping).”

“The mint can be cooked into the pizza or the leaves can be just put on the top as a garnish.” – anon

Heart Of The Platter

“Marinated artichoke heart seemed to be big in Ceuta, Spain.” – Zooph

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

“I had an ‘everything’ pizza in Italy with all sorts of vegetables and a cooked egg on top. They weren’t the normal vegetables you’d expect in the States.”

“Also, I once ate a giant pizza in Italy with 4 sections, 1 with arucola on it. It was pretty weird.”

“-edit- It’s called Capricciosa (with everything- the giant pizza was a specialty).” – poopsix

Restaurant Lab

“I work at a pizza place and sometimes we experiment. Some of the better ones include a PB&J pizza, breakfast pizza (bacon, eggs, cheese, ham, peppers), BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayo, etc.)”

“On our menu we offer a cheeseburger pizza that uses mustard as the sauce with beef, mozzarella, cheddar, bacon, onions and pickles. We also have a spicy chicken pizza that has a ranch base instead of pizza sauce. Good stuff. Also, try using a spicy tomato sauce instead of a sweet one for a change.”

“EDIT: Also forgot to mention the Taco pizza (taco meat, pizza sauce, topped with lettuce, cheddar and tomato.) We also have a BBQ Chicken pizza (base is BBQ sauce, topped with mozzerella, diced seasoned chicken, cheddar, red onions and optional bacon.)” – analbumcover

Fruity Delight

“When I worked at a pizza place, a guy brought in a carton of blueberries and ordered a cheese pizza. When it came, he put the blueberries on top and ate it. When he was done, there was a single blueberry left alone on the plate.” – yourpopquizkid

Pharma-Giano

“Honestly? I believe it was either Vicodin or Ritalin.”

“My hubby and I along with his brother and a friend of ours had our pill stage, usually simply consuming or snorting, a few years back. One night, after baking a pizza and serenading it (not joking), they got the bright idea of placing it on our pizza as a topping.”

“I wasn’t fond of the idea b/c I don’t want my pizza tasting like pills and it isn’t the most efficient way to consume pills to get high, but. . . I was out numbered.”

“It was disgusting, of course. That’s all I remember from that night.” – anon

Moose Meat

“People always look at me weird when I say “Roast Beef”. But, I promise… Get some lean, thinly sliced (lunch meat grade) roast beef… Heaven.” – Originate

“Our local joint has this great Mr. Pestato pizza that has pesto, slices of potato and onions. It is so weird but so delicious!”

“And I remember that when I was in Guadalajara, they had ketchup packets at the local Dominos because people like to put it on pizza there. ew”– obizuth

That’s Just Bananas

“Banana Pizza is an amazing dessert. Toppings: bananas, mozzarella, sugar, and cinnamon.” – brandar

This Spuds For You

“I really like pierogi pizza!”

“Pizza with a layer of sauteed potatoes, then a layer of sour cream and topped with cheddar cheese, bacon bits and green onions. We have it at Boston Pizza in Canada.” – flashtastic

“Pickles or Broccoli”

“and yes I made them. I’ve got a knack for cooking and can make quite a few things, but back in my freshman year of college, when I first discovered that I enjoyed cooking, all I knew how to make was pizza and so I made every variation i could think of.”

“My favorite is still buffalo chicken. mix two parts marinara sauce with one part buffalo wing sauce, and dip it in ranch or bleu cheese. Delicious.” – jeffp12

Hitting The Sweet Spot

“I have been to a fish and chip shop which sells (or used to sell) chocolate pizza: pizza base with a layer of Rolos, covered in mozzarella and topped with crushed Flake. No tomato sauce though…. The chocolate and cheese works surprisingly well.” – jln

The Sandwich Variant

“There was/is a place in Sandusky, OH that I went to when I worked at Cedar Pointe that served a peanut butter and jelly pizza that I loved. It really just worked out to peanut butter melted onto a warm crust with cold jelly slathered on top, but it was served as a pizza.” – Spazsquatch

Popular Lunch Meat

“People always look at me weird when I say ‘Roast Beef.’ But, I promise… Get some lean, thinly sliced (lunch meat grade) roast beef… Heaven.” – Originate

While major fans of traditional pizza may consider some of these toppings blasphemous, others might see the topping interpretations as a complement to the dish that became a global culinary sensation.

So don’t be quick to judge these twists on a pizza.

Who knows, you may really enjoy squid pizza, amirite?

People Break Down The One Message They’d Send Telepathically To Everyone On Earth If They Could

The ability to send a telepathic message to everyone on earth may seem mighty tempting, but what would you actually say?

Would you tell people to be kind? Try to bring an end to war? Play a giant prank on the whole of humanity?

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

Redditor HarshJShinde asked:

“If you could telepathically say something that all 7.8 Billion people on earth could hear at once what would it be?”

No Escape

“WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY”

–rondoctor

“I always tell them I don’t have a car. Then they try to sell me life insurance lmao”

“The next time they try to sell me life insurance, I’m gonna ask them if they’re threatening me.”

–jcw10489

“Brah my car is 29 years old and they call me every week from a new number.”

–Redditor

“I literally just got 2 of those calls back to back within 5 minutes. And I can’t even not answer them since I have to take calls from work. It’s a pain in the ass to get any sleep.”

–SugoiBakaMatt

“Or the ‘IRS is going to press charges’ or whatever those calls are. Best part is, 95% of the world will have no idea what the IRS is, or have a very different interpretation.”

–boot2skull

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, MY CAR IS 18 YEARS OLD AND I BOUGHT IT FROM SOME SKETCHY DUDE THAT BARELY SPOKE ENGLISH AND DIDN’T SIGN THE TITLE. IT DOESN’T HAVE A WARRANTY.”

–illpicklater

Countdown To…?

“A countdown, starting at a decently high number… Let’s say 255. It would be in a monotone, androgynous voice, and everyone would hear it in their own language.”

“The countdown would stop at 6.”

–thehonestyfish

Just Testing

“Test message. Please ignore.”

–swanny52

“don’t panic guys. just the simulation developer testing code in production mode. classic mistake.”

–ashesofturquoise

“Honestly though, that would get conspiracy theorists going. ‘I told you the government is trying mind control’”

–StudMuffinNick

The Most Annoying Part Of YouTube

“‘According to my YouTube statistics, only a small percentage of my viewers are actually subscribed. So if you end up liking this video, please subscribe. It’s free, and you can always unsubscribe later. Also, there’s been a YouTube glitch that’s been going around that makes you unsubscribe randomly, so if you could just scroll down and check if you’re subscribed, it would help me out a lot. With that out of the way, let’s get on with the video.’”

-SeffboiProductions

“‘Hey guys welcome back to my channel…’”

–pure_combistion

“‘This video is sponsored by raid shadow legends’”

-Livid-Classroom

Ye Who Smelt It…

“‘Whomever just farted managed to disturb the eternal conscience’”

–_Trygon

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

“‘You picked the correct religion. I am real, and this is the proof you’ve been asking for.’”

“Then I’d watch the world blow up.”

–watch_over_me

“all the atheists are gonna be completely stumped”

-AyeAye_Kane

“The reverse of this would be a lot better. ‘You picked the wrong one.’”

–ThePoultryWhisperer

“Damn, I almost like that better, lol. The whole world would just start freaking and going mad.”

–watch_over_me

“Thanks satan”

–The_gryphon_

Incoherent Screaming

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“That’ll get the message across.”

–The_darter

Whoops

“Anything telepathic transmitted to every living human being on Earth without explanation would immediately be taken as the voice of God by the majority I’m sure.”

“Therefore, the only thing I’d say would be something along the lines of, ‘Whoops… sorry.’”

“EDIT: If, perhaps, this scenario was ongoing and the [mic] was left hot, I would probably maintain silence punctuated with a long series of well-timed Colin Robinson style annoying coughs that just… linger forever in the background of your mind.”

–Redditor

“‘Hey uhhh… I don’t usually do this but I just wanted to tell you all I’m sorry for… well you’ll see.’”

–TheHornyToothbrush

This One’s For The Programmers

“Hello world”

–lj_w

“You forgot the first part. ‘import universe as unv’”

–darklotus_26

Special Containment Procedures

“The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.”

“For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.”

“Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.”

“There will be no further communication.”

–thatguysmellsalot

“Oh, sh*t, I like this one. Not even just a general ‘Hi, we exist’ but an excerpt from one of the SCP stories. I believe it’s called ‘A spectator at the end of the world’ or something similar.”

–FuzzieMonkie

Eternal Ear-worm

“‘Remember the time where Mambo No. 5 wasn’t stuck in your head?’”

–oliverklozov_

“‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No. 5′”

–crisantocaz

“Some people just want to watch the world burn”

–NameRogue

That’s A Negative

“‘Don’t do it.’”

“Could save some lives. Could stop some petty crime. Could prevent a perfectly good wedding from happening. Who knows? Results would be interesting.”

–prophetuscaecus

“Imagine how many people wouldn’t microwave their burritos for dinner.”

–Redditor

More Impossible Ear-worms

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port Aboard this tiny ship.”

“The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day For a three hour tour, a three hour tour…..”

–dorvann

“Alright this, BUT”

“‘This is a story all about how, my life got flip turned upside down….’”

–TheHeresyTrain

It’s All A Simulation

“Act out a conversation between 2 people talking about shutting down the simulation, then freak out about accidentally broadcasting the conversation in the simulation.”

–King_Kezza

“One of my first experiences of sleep paralysis was essentially that only it ended with them deciding to make me think it was a dream.”

–a_stack_of_9_turtles

Get That Bread

“Not going to lie, I’m selling this massive advertising opportunity to the highest bidder.”

–freecain

“RAID: Shadow Legends”

–The__IT__Guy

“With telepathy like this you want to make sure your mind is secure. That’s why I use nord vpn.”

–IBeBallinOutaControl

“And thus, everyone on earth telepathically heard a voice say ‘Not going to lie, I’m selling this massive advertising opportunity to the highest bidder’.”

–ancientweird

“Tonight’s dreamscape brought to you by Nord VPN. Get the new Nord VPN brain bundle to protect yourself from nightmares.”

-Shadowedsphynx

Taking A Page Out Of Donnie’s Book

“’28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.’”

–4GotMyFathersFace

“I’m beginning to seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion!”

–henREE_13

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

“People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.”

–botchman

There’s no point in acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now.”

–Stompya

“What do you mean you’ve never been to Alpha Centauri? For heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”

–Luxray1000

Whatever you would choose to say, everyone can agree this would be a world-altering event.

Choose wisely.

People Share The Wedding Moments That Made Them Think The Marriage Would Never Last

Weddings are meant to be a time of great joy and profound happiness.

Two souls converging and becoming one for all of eternity.

Love is abound like a free wheeling pixie. It’s a glorious sight to behold.

Until it’s not.

Sadly too many people jump into marriage for all the wrong reasons.

They try to fool the world, and themselves, that this is the right thing to do.

But more often than not, the world can see right through you.

Redditor Olya_roo wanted to hear about the red flags and flat out obvious signs they witnessed at a wedding that didn’t give them hope for the couple’s happily ever after…

They asked:

“What wedding moment made you think: ‘They are not going to last long?’”

Let’s talk about love, while it lasts…

Next time skip the Speeches?

“Not the couple getting married but the Best Man and Maid of Honor who were married to each other.”

“Best Man’s speech was all about how hard it was to be married.”

“‘I’ve been married for a year and it feels like 100 years.’”

“Maid of Honor stands up to give a speech and just says ‘Ditto.’”

“It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down.”

“Brother of the bride stood up and gave a nice impromptu speech about teamwork and having a partner to go through life with.”

“How happy the family was to have the groom join their family.”

“Best Man and Maid of Honor were divorced within a year.”

“Couple who got married are still married 30+ years later.”

“I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually were helpful in how not to act as a couple.”

“For me the complex backstory.”

“Bride’s brother is gay and has been in a longterm relationship for 40+ years.”

“At the time he gave his speech about marriage he couldn’t marry the man he loved and I think his passioned defense of marriage was born from that.”

“When people would say they were against gay marriage because it makes a mockery of marriage I’d think of that night.”

“The married couple who had no respect for marriage could easily marry (and did over and over again) and the man who stood up and defended marriage could not.”

“He’s married now and lovingly takes care of his husband as he battles health issues.”  ~ designgoddess

Financials…

“When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the ‘for richer or poorer’ part and she said ‘for richer or richer and maybe for poorer.’”

“The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.” ~ crm115

How much is this costing?

“I’M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!”

“My wife’s brother just got married this past May.”

“Bride’s mother is a big DO IT YOURSELF person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc…”

“Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.”

“Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (groom’s mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!!).”

“And asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy.”

“It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side.”  ~ WanderingRaindog

Clothes Speak

“The groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned ‘Game Over.’” ~ Reddit

Best Ensemble Performance! 

“My wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding.”

“The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students.”

“The maid-of-honour’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of ‘if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you.’”

“The best-man’s speech was a lusty declaration of ‘if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe… like the previous time you called me.’”

“Other toasts were similarly weird.”

“A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ thing.”

“I’m still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally f**ked-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.”  ~ sharplescorner

Be Sure to Eat Out

“I was maid of honor.”

“Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff.”

“Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (something she’s passionate about) to the officiant.”

“She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her.”

“He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic.”

“That always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back.”

“They lasted 7 months.” ~ Kraken_of_BeverlyRd

BE SURE!!! 

“When my sister married her first husband she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle ‘I can make this work, right?’”

“They were divorced 6 months later.”

“My whole family knew it wasn’t a good idea since the original engagement a year prior.”  ~ IMgonnaDIE

Bodily Harm

“He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception.”

“He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered.”

“They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos.”

“Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.”  ~ blackhart452

The Family Brawl…

“Well here it goes…”

“My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that groom was not the best to my cousin while dating.”

“The bride’s brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families.”

“Next thing you know the police show up and literally pepper spray everyone.”

“Including my grandma, kids and anyone near the area.”

“I don’t remember if anyone got arrested but the story got on CBS the early show for the international news.”

“Lol they did not last long to say the least.” ~ mendoza327

Kisses…

“When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.”  ~ csdirty

Some of us are just going to die alone, or with a parrot.

And that is ok.

It is better to be alone than unhappy.

Besides if you wait just a little longer, the right one may not be far off.

Don’t say “I DO” until you’re 100% sure!!

People Who Quit A Job On Their 1st Day Describe What Happened

One of the main reasons that people “rage quit” their jobs – meaning they leave in a dramatic fashion when they’re fed up – is usually due to poor management and abusive treatment.

In August of 2021, we saw the largest amount of people quitting their jobs at once in what is now known as the Great Resignation. Some left due to low wages and poor management, some left because of the pandemic, and some wanted to do work they actually loved doing.

While many of these people quit after working for quite some time, there’s a great deal of people out there who quit on day one of their new job.

Sometimes you start a new job and instantly you realize that it’s not going to be the right fit. Whether it’s red flags with management or the work isn’t something you want to be doing, there are so many reasons to leave.

We went to Ask Reddit to get the truth on why people left their job the moment they started.

Redditor redmambo_no6 asked:

“People who quit their jobs on the first day, what was your ‘I’m outta here’ moment?”

Here’s some of the best responses.

Had to pay for the microwave.

“When the microwave in the lunch room was coin activated.” – CaptainArsehole

“That’s real? What the ever loving f*ck?”

“That warrants loading that thing up with quarters, filling it with silverware and setting it to ten minutes on your way out.” – larry_flarry

“I work in building management and am personally responsible for many of the amenities tenants have in an office, and I can’t even imagine the conversation on that one.”

“I had a hard time putting in a cold brew and kombucha machine that was pay per use, I feel like if you are going to put something in an office it should be free, or just don’t offer it.” – BuffFlexson

Management has issues.

“Worked in a hotel for a day.”

“No one told me where anything was. Got chewed out for it.”

“Guests enjoying their meals told me to pay no mind/I was doing a good job and that my boss is a c*nt.”

“I told the manager that I was quitting and wouldn’t be doing the next shift.”

“I arrived the next day, returning a work uniform and my supervisor approached me and yelled at me for being late. I told her I already quit but if I was working, technically I was 5 hours early for my shift.”

“Absolute nutcases.” – O5CR

“The not getting told how to something then getting told off for doing it wrong thing happened to me. I was so mad.”

“Got told to put something on shelves by checkout. Asked if there’s way any specific way it needs to be done? Get told ‘No, idiot, it’s not hard you just put as much as you can fit on the shelf’. Stack stuff on shelf. ‘Why didn’t you follow protocol around displaying stuff here? You have to count exactly how many you use for stock control and display them a certain way.’”

“Thought that one was a one off but the next day I ask what I should be doing after a busy period? ‘There’s nothing to do for a bit. Make us all coffee to practice using the machine.’ Half way through making coffee ‘Why haven’t you done really important job? You don’t have time to be taking coffee breaks!’”

“This was my trainer vs the manager. Turns out the trainer didn’t want someone else working with her so she sabotaged me and set me up for the manager to catch me doing the (wrong) things she’d told me to do.”

“I told them they clearly have some issues to work out among themselves and quit.” – Few-Evidence-7534

They were watching.

“I got a job at a Build A Bear knockoff at the end of a mall that wasn’t very busy. My interview with the owners was interesting. They were an older couple who said that they had wanted to open a Chick Fil A, but you need about a million dollars to do that.”

“My first day, one other girl was working, and she didn’t really talk to me. I had basically no training and she disappeared into the back. I was standing at the register area, which was underneath a giant storybook mushroom. A mother and her young son walk in and start to look at the bear skin options. I greeted them and left them to look around. They ended up leaving after a couple minutes and my coworker reappeared from the back with the cordless phone and handed it to me.”

“It was my boss. He told me that when a customer walks in, he wants me to come out from under the mushroom to them (‘come OUT! from the mushroom!’). After he finished speaking to me, I hung up and went to my coworker and asked about the phone call. She said the place has cameras set up and the owners watch them from their house and call in a lot. I did not come back to work after that day.” – pocketradish

“Not mushroom for improvement there.” – FreudianAcordian

“Owner didn’t seem like a fungi.” – TrippyReality

They had been robbed.

“Fast food chain: I was 17.”

“I found out during training that the place had been robbed 3 times in the past month and 1 employee was seriously injured.”

“Not worth the $5/hr. (This was the US state of Georgia in 2004).” – ThunderFlash10

“I worked at a KFC when I was 16. I remember the training orientation video told us over and over not to be a hero if you get robbed. Do they really think we’re gonna take a bullet for them? Like we’re gonna scream ‘Not on my watch!’ and dive over the counter?” – casino_night

They didn’t take breaks.

“Took a summer job at a textile plant and the trainer said, ‘Forget about taking a break if you want to stay caught up.’” – p38-lightning

“Reply forget about being caught up.” – Big-Red-Husker

“Especially because ‘caught up’ is an arbitrary standard.”

“Breaks, however, are mandated by law and measurable.” – TootsNYC

They didn’t want to pay the $40.

“I applied for a job at my longtime favorite restaurant(celebrated my birthday there every year).”

“Owner asks me to come in for basically a try out, as I communicated I was looking at other job possibilities. I come in and they just stick me on dishwashing for an hour, no biggie. Then there dishwasher doesn’t show up, so the kitchen manager asks me to stay one for their lunch rush, says I’ll get paid for the hours. I do, kitchen staff was nice so I was happy to help out even though I figured I’d be taking a different job. I fill out a time card at the end of the shift and tell the manager I probably wouldn’t be back, he understands and thanks me for the help.”

“Fast forward a couple weeks and he tells me to email the owner after I ask him if I should pick up my measly paycheck. I do, she basically tells me to f*ck off over text. Tells me it was ‘staging’ and that she told me I wouldn’t be paid. I respond that I understand that but that I stayed an extra 3 hours which I WAS told I’d be paid for. She stops responding. I decide I want to be petty over the 40 bucks so I get the state labor department involved. Dude goes in there and makes her pay me for the hours including the first ‘staging’ hour. Couple weeks later I got my 40 bucks, never went back to that restaurant.”

“Firstly, ‘petty’ is not how I see it two years later. I’m VERY glad I did this and sharing the story with others in my city I learned this practice was very common with local restaurants. Hopefully others learned to stand up for their labor too from my small experience.”

“Secondly, this restaurant closed down a couple weeks after I got that paycheck. The owner made a long winded complaint on the FB page about how the food culture had ‘changed’ in the city and her restaurant didn’t fit in anymore (total bullsh*t, they were ALWAYS popular. Most people theorized the terrible mismanagement and employee abuse had caught up to her).” – sleepdyhollow

“You’re not petty, I wonder how many other people they fleeced for free labor.” – FaustsAccountant

“You would not believe what restaurants get away with. And they’re so blatant about it.”

“It’s such an insane work culture. I’m glad I experienced it but the thought of doing it everyday makes my job being a welder now a total cakewalk.” – providenthound

The employee had to pay for training.

“My very first job was at a little drive in restaurant close to my high school. I showed up to work the first day, they lady said I had to pay her $50 for training. She showed me around the place and said that my pay would be $4.50/hour as a carhop(this was in 2010), and all the tips I made went into a bucket with all the other girls’ tips. At the end of the night, she counted up tips, kept 20% for herself and split the rest up evenly among EVERY employee. Also, part of our job was one day a week we had to spend 4 hours cleaning her house. It seemed super shady.”

“I literally left after listening to her go over all these rules. My dad was pissed until I explained, and another girl confirmed and my dad agreed I did the right thing.” – tlr92

“Shady and highly illegal.”

“Tip pooling is legal but is supposed to be only with other tipped employees, her skimming 20% off the top is not legal.”

“Pretty sure you can’t charge someone to train them for a job you hired them for.” – -Work_Account-

Hired to do one job, told to do another.

“I was hired at a chain restaurant to be a hostess. I was so excited because my last job was washing dishes and because of my eczema, I had to quit. It was too painful to do that job. So, I arrived at my new job dressed up to be a hostess and those mfers took me back to the kitchen to do dishes because the dishwasher just quit. I noped out of there real fast!” – Ismygrayshowing

“13 years in restaurants, I can say if you have any skin condition stay out of restaurants not because of your skin but the chemicals some places use for their dishwashers. I’ve seen people welt up just from industrial detergent.” – scootiesanchez2038

Even the customers knew it was bad.

“Went into an Italian restaurant for my first day of work and I got 3 red flags on the very first day.”

“1- The manager said he had lots of hours for me and getting shifts would be no problem. Every single other employee told me that they were struggling for hours and that they had no idea why they hired me.”

“2- Everyone said the manager was an asshole. Even the customers.”

“3- It was my first day there, and I actually had to teach the woman training me how to do one or two things.” – Stevie-Avail

“Probably hired you to replace that woman.” – RonStopable08

They were pushing a sale that should never happen.

“‘Salesman’ for Kirby vacuums. First sale call was to a single elderly woman who was supporting her son in hospital (they got us in the door by offering a free carpet clean as a demonstration). The supervisor training me pushed and pushed to make the sale until this old woman was in tears. Just as she was about to sign the paperwork I asked if she actually wanted to vacuum and she said it was lovely but she couldn’t afford it. I took the paperwork away from her and said not to worry.”

“Outside I told the supervisor I quit to which he replied I would’ve been fired anyway. No love lost. I hung around for half an hour playing on my phone to make sure the supervisor left because he was a real piece of work.” – Pokestralian

“Oooh I have a Kirby story! I worked for them when I was 17 – not selling the vacuums but setting up appointments for the salespeople. They had the shadiest way of getting their salespeople into people’s houses. They went around town with raffle tickets where people could sign up with their name, address, and phone number for a chance to win some cash prize. The kicker? There was no contest. It was just a way to get these people’s info.”

“When I would get the filled out raffle tickets I was instructed to look at the zip codes and throw out any from the lower income part of town. Then with what was left I had to make calls. I had a script where I would tell them they were still in the running for the cash prize but in the meantime, they had won a free one room cleaning. I’d get the details on which room they wanted to have done and set up a day and time for it. Their free room cleaning was a Kirby salesman pitching to them the whole time.”

“The whole thing was so dishonest I quit after a couple weeks.” – SavaRox

Not only do some of these jobs sound terrible, a lot of what happened was illegal.

With all the abuse, misuse of power, and poor wages, it’s no one these people quit on day one. If they stayed any longer it was bound to be stressful.

People Break Down Which Modern Day Bad Guys Will Get A Future Image Reboot The Way Pirates Did

Nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

We look back at the past through rose-colored glasses and decide the difficult thing we went through wasn’t really that difficult, or it taught us a valuable lesson, or it was the best moment of our lives.

Nostalgia doesn’t just work on events though, it can do a wonderful job at making yesterday’s villains the heroes of modern stories.

We see this all the time with Revisionist histories that take cruel and monstrous figures and morph them into benevolent and wise leaders.

With this in mind, Redditor YanTyanTeth asked Reddit:

“300-400 years ago, pirates were a terrifying force to be reckoned with.”

“Now they’re family friendly figures of fun.”

“What will be their modern day equivalent a few centuries from now?”

Society has a short memory.

“Bloods and Crips type gangbangers, motor bike gangs, hell in 500 years the memory of people like the nazis, bolsheviks, and Al Qaeda will be such distant memories people might like them.”

“People dress up as Vikings for Halloween.”

“Atilla Th Hun was a good guy in Night At The Museum.” ~ devilthedankdawg

The Irony is not lost on us…

“ISIS … Just imagine the irony of western kids playing with ISIS figurines”

“Edit: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and the award. I really enjoyed reading all your comments” ~watergate_boi

Revisionist history isn’t just for madmen!

“In 400 years cancer will be so cured that ever being seriously ill with it will be forgotten too. Then it’ll be inaccurately represented in historical stories whenever an illness is needed…”

“A: are you coming out tonight?”

“B: no sorry I’ve got cancer”

“A: ok! Well catch you tomorrow!”

“B: lol ok!” ~ Sell200AprilAt142

Two sides of the same coin?

“ICE and Immigrants.”

“Instead of cowboys and Indians.” ~ spderweb

Some took a broader view of the question.

“Possible.”

“The irony, though, is that we remember pirates fondly because at least some pirate ships were more egalitarian than their legal counterparts.”

“You were treated better by your peers on a pirate ship than on a privateer’s crew… at least, that’s what is commonly believed.”

“That isn’t true these days. Drug syndicates and gangs are just as ruthless as legal business corporations.”

“The sole good thing that can be said about illegal organizations, that can’t be said about some legal ones, is, I suppose, that they offer employment to people who would otherwise be complete outcasts.”

“But that’s not an artifact of them being good— it’s a consequence of our society being so sh*tty.”

“I think movies and books have an influence here.”

“Fiction requires balanced characters, even among your antagonists.”

“A bad guy with no redeeming qualities is lazy writing. But in the real world, people with no redeeming qualities exist— they’re not even uncommon.” ~ michaelochurch

The siren call of the Highway.

“Bikers in general.”

“They’re already being ‘diluted’ from predominantly (or almost exclusively) outlaw types into a subculture.”

“People who ride the traditional Harley and Harley-like cruisers already often dress the part, and try to give off an air of rebellion and counterculture, while doing things like charitable events.”

“We’ve had around 100 years of biker counterculture, and gone from the progenitors to the subculture I speak of. In another 200-300 years, I could easily see a ‘Jack Sparrow’ type biker character.” ~ Euchre

Some tried to give context to our fascination.

“Instead of looking forward, we should look back.”

“A lot of pirates of the past actually had political motivations/capabilities and commanded small navies.”

“Others acted as toll stations on popular sea routes.”

“Our views of them have been severely slanted by Hollywood. There were also several african/black pirates who became commanders.”

“We tend to think of most pirates as white, which was not entirely the case.”

“There also was an entire history of pirates inside the Mediterranean (Ottomans and Arabs) that has been completely ignored by history.”

We tend to look on pirates as dirty criminals who were ugly and disabled, when in fact many were competent and rich.”

“My feeling is modern elites don’t like to expose stories of successful rebels in the mass media.”

“Anyone who rebels in a movie or story has to eventually be suppressed, with the message being that you can’t win against authority ultimately.”

“You can go out in a blaze of glory, but you’re going to lose.”

“The movie ‘Outland’ is a bit of a sci-fi space pirate movie, or at least one where a security guard (Sean Connery) sets up a defense against a hit squad.”

“Other than that, there’s Han Solo, and maybe a bit of Captain Kirk.”

“Other than the, the future pirate story is pretty underdeveloped, but there are past pirate stories that would make great ‘yarrrrns’ as well!” ~ soundtrackband

Some fell back on the innocence of youth.

“In 6th grade I DID know they had something to do with hookers and I did a pimp voice/persona and all the girls at my lunch table called themselves my hoes and it was a big f*cked up joke that we all thought was hilarious.”

“Kids are messed up.” ~ Schnitzelgruben

We don’t even have to go that far back.

“Narcos, we don’t even need a century to know that, just how people idealizes the figure of Pablo Escobar and others infamous narcos in Latin America” ~ Molokon92

And…

“Yeah, the way they are presented is problematic.”

“At least movies like Sicario show the brutality of the narcos/cartels.”

“If anything, movies covering narcos/cartels should at most do what Godfather 1 and 2 did, where it was more matter of fact than glorification.”

“That being said, I wont fault a movie for glorifying the wealth and excess just like I didn’t fault Wolf of Wall Street.” ~ karsh36

Historical revision is a dangerous game.

We take the parts of our past we don’t like and paint over them so they’re a little easier to deal with.

The danger, of course, is we forget the past was filled with monsters to be learned from and avoided.

Be wary of false histories, but don’t forget to have a little fun along the way.