15 Inconveniences That Are Basically Level 1 Bad Guys

Remember when you played video games as a kid (or even more recently, if you’re like me), there was always the Big Bad Guy that you had to beat who was almost impossible to beat.

Before you get to that Big Bad, however, there’s a series of less difficult sub-bosses to get through, who each get progressively harder as you progress towards the last boss. So, the Level 1 boss is basically just a minor inconvenience.

What is the real-life equivalent?

The 13+ people below have some suggestions, and it’s hard to argue!

#1. Everyone knows.

Kid tries to punch me and take my food then cried when his hand aches from hitting the bone in my back. Everyone know that if you wanna hurt a man, you need to kick the crotch.

#2. People.

People who stare at you and make you look away.

#3. A goose at the park.

That goose at the park that I tried to do karate at when I was five

#4. Slow and go.

The guy who does a “slow and go” at a 4 way stop when you were there first.

#5. That won’t stop.

A fly that won’t stop bugging you

#6. That little mini-stumble.

The curb that’s one inch higher than you expected so you do that little mini-stumble thing

#7. Back in middle school.

The Hall Monitor from back in middle school. The parking meter checker for adults.

#8. A thief.

Workplace lunch thief

#9. Not the grapes.

People who steal/eat grapes from the supermarket

#10. That dude.

That dude who keeps asking the introvert why he doesn’t speak

#11. Someone you could easily punt.

Kids from rough neighborhoods that try and rob you. Btw, by kids I mean like <13, so someone you could easily punt across the fucking moon.

#12. Just ants.

Generic ants. Not bullet ants or anything; just ants.

#13. 200+ followers.

A middle schooler making fun of you for not having 200+ followers

#14. The kid who won’t share the swing.

In the first year of elementary school, just after the tutorial, there’s a kid who won’t share the swing and keeps it all recess.

#15. Seeing you in doubles.

The alcoholic threatening to beat you up while not being able to stay on their feet and always swinging to the left/right of you because he’s seeing you in doubles.

If only every defeat was so easy!

The post 15 Inconveniences That Are Basically Level 1 Bad Guys appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Times Things Went WAY Better Than They Should Have

“Well, isn’t that convenient?” How many times have you said that in your life?

Sometimes the universe just seems to be looking out for you. These AskReddit folks shared the most convenient things that ever happened to them.

1. That worked out

“Was overseas for a conference and I had taken a tour on the weekend before it, and met some peeps. One was a group from America and the other a girl from Germany. As the tour wound down I gave out my email address and told them to contact me so we could do something the following day.

The next day I go have lunch with the Americans first, and I’m on a train back in the direction I’m staying in, but wasn’t too sure around public transport at the time. I get a call from the German girl who asks if I’d like to have coffee with her in a certain suburb. As she says that I look up, the train door opens and it has the suburb name on the wall. I climb off the train, walk out the station and she’s right there.”

2. Cruisin’

“In 2010 my dad was at a hotel across the state. Two things you need to know about my dad: he is always hot, and he is very stubborn. So he goes to open the window in his hotel room but it was jammed and wouldn’t open. So he yanked on it until he popped a tendon in his arm. He went to the hospital and got rushed back to our city, it was a big deal because if he didn’t have surgery within 72 hours he would likely lose use of his arm.

But he got the surgery, workman’s comp paid for it because he had been on a business trip, and all was well. But then the hotel called, saying they wanted to compensate him so that he wouldn’t sue. My dad assured them he is not the suing type, he recognized it was his own fault, etc., and even offered to sign something saying he wouldn’t sue, but they were insistent on providing compensation. So finally, my dad told them he wouldn’t even know what to ask for.

The hotel, who was affiliated with Holland America Cruise Lines, replied and said: “how about a free cruise for four anywhere Holland America sails, and $10000 to get you to the location of the port?” So he said… yeah okay.

So the summer before my senior year of high school, me, my parents, and my best friend went on a Mediterranean cruise that went through Spain, Monaco, Italy, Greece, and Croatia, and the cruise/travel cost us nothing. It was f*cking amazing.”

3. I believe

“Once I was about to get a haircut which would have cost me £9, however I only had £7 as I spend £3 earlier that day. Now I had to get this haircut otherwise I would have been killed by my mum as she is the one who gave me the money for that specific reason.

So there I was sitting and hoping I would be able to negotiate something, with each passing minute I was getting more nervous. When a miracle happened. A man approached me and told me that he is in a hurry and will pay for my haircut if I give him my space. And on that day for a minute I believed in God.”

4. Rolled on in

“I ran out of gas on a long one lane bridge with a gas station at the end on the left side of the road. Had enough momentum to get over the bridge, had a large enough break in traffic to turn left without braking, and saw that one pump was open on the correct side of my car. Rolled into the station and didn’t even need to touch the brake to stop at the pump. I should also mention the bridge was flat so I didn’t have any hills to help me out.

I’m pretty sure my lottery chances are shot with all the luck I blew in that one minute.”

5. Right person at the right time

“I got on the wrong bus and didn’t even realize until it made the first stop. I got off there and was in a panic of what to do since I had to be somewhere at a certain time. The first stop was a college campus I had never been to. I saw somebody going out to her car, who turned out to be a professor, and I went to ask her about a bus that ran from the school. She just asked where I needed to be and she gave me a ride to the place for free. I ran into the right person at the right time.”

6. Boom!

“I started a new job and about 2 months later they announced that everyone was getting laid off as they were moving the billing office to another branch in a different state in a few months.

As an incentive they offered up to $2,000 bonuses for the people who remained the longest to clear up all remaining balances to make the transition more easy. I ended up convincing my old manager at my previous job to re-hire me a few weeks after the announcement.

Months later after I had left I ended up getting a check in the mail for the full bonus amount which I cashed ASAP.”

7. On vacation

“When I was maybe 15 or so, my mom told me to go to the doctor to get health report (for some documentation, it’s a long story). I didn’t want to go, so I lied that I went and the doctor was on vacation. Later, she comes into my room saying, “So, I called the doctor to make sure…”, and I’m like “OH SH*T”, and then she continues “So, you were right, she is on vacation indeed.”

I still can’t believe this happened.”

8. Helping hand

“I was cycling in a very isolated area, exploring my province, when one of my tires blew. I wasn’t even carrying any repair tools with me, so I was left with the only option to walk back 20 miles to the nearest village and either look for help or cancel my trip and take a bus back home. Not 1 minute after I started walking two cyclists appeared on the horizon. They happily fixed my tire and I was able to complete my ride. Montreal – Percé.”

9. Lemme, lemme upgrade

“One time I got into the wrong line when boarding a plane, but the attendant said “go on ahead” and instantly upgraded me to first class.”

10. Might have starved

“Went island camping with a friend of mine on a little sail boat. We did not have a gas stove to heat our food in, we instead had a metal frame that used firewood. Unfortunately, where we landed was void of any sort of wood. I’m convinced this was Deus ex machina at play here , but we conveniently found a store-bought log of firewood in this tiny island. Would have starved without it.”

11. That’s always nice

“Back in 2003 when you could fill at the pump then pay, I filled my car and went in to pay. The guy said that pump didn’t register a sale. Told me to have a nice day. I got around $38 worth of free gas.”

12. That was quick

“Bought a car for $2000. Picked it up and drove it 3 blocks home. Guy across the street sees the for sale sign and asks how much. Tell him I just bought it and he offers me $4500. He goes and gets me cash, I sign it over to him. $2500 bucks made in 30 mins.”

13. Lazy and happy

“Married the girl next door. We were friend and neighbors for almost a decade. We were frustrated being single and did the “hey! wanna date.” After we got married moving her in was a friggin dream! We kept the 2nd apt for 2 months, that was fun too. She didn’t have to change her address. Now that I think about it. We might be the laziest happily married couple.”

14. Easy!

“I had an AMEB piano exam coming up and I was supposed to have prepared two extra pieces, one of which the examiner would ask me to play (but you don’t know which one they’ll pick of course).

One, I had nailed. The other, from the very beginning, was a piece I never really liked much and I’d only learnt the first couple of pages – the rest of the piece would probably sound like someone playing it for the first time. Honestly, I didn’t give that piece nearly as much time as I should’ve.

So I went into that exam just HOPING the examiner would pick my good piece. Exam day came around and the examiner picked the piece I could only half play. CRAP.

Then, by some incredible alignment of the stars, she says ‘I’ll just get you to play to the end of the second page.’

Yes, of course Mrs Examiner, easy!”

15. A dream

“The job description literally was “off-role job, you have been notified”

I thought it was a joke, I applied on it anyway. Turns out Its one of the biggest Automobile giants in world desperately needing a graphic designer who is ready for an off-role job.

Its EXACTLY 12 minutes ride on Motorbike to and 17 minutes fro.

Got a chill boss who’s barely 9 years older than me and completely fine with me showing up 45 minutes late to work EVERYDAY as long as the work is done before I leave ON TIME.

When asked about the funny job description, she grilled the HR dept about funky job description.

some perks of my job

An hour late on job is acceptable EVERDAY. (due to my boss’s designation)
Mostly leave on time 5 minutes give or take extra
A less polite conversation makes my boss thinks she is scolding me and 5 minutes later she politely but professionally apologizes for ‘yelling’ at me. LOL
Can take up to 3,15-20 minutes break excluding lunch break
Company has an agency already hired who does half of my work. (I’m there for emergency creatives)
This is absolutely a dream job for a second job.”

The post 15 Times Things Went WAY Better Than They Should Have appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Singles Discuss What They Love Most About Their Lifestyle

These days, I’m quite happily married, but it wasn’t that many years ago that I was living the single life. While I’m definitely happier today than I was then, there are definitely some parts of the single life that were pretty great.

There are a lot of perks, as these 15 people are quick to point out.

#1. My entire social battery.

I can do what I want whenever I want!
Well, actually I still gotta help my family and go to work and that pretty much drains my entire social battery.

#2. Not getting dragged into lame events.

Not getting dragged into lame events with her family that essentially ruin my weekend.

“Oh no, I totally want to drive three hours and hangout with your family this weekend. I had these crazy plans to relax, maybe go for a bike ride, have some beers by pool, go to a movie with our friends, etc. But you’re right, lets drive three hours away to listen to your family argue about politics, eat bland food, and sleep on a futon. Sounds great.”

#3. What I love about being single.

All of my shit is exactly where I left it when I get home.

My bed is still made, my dishes are still done, my food is still there, my clothes are still clean, and nothing is missing from my cash stash.

If I want to stay up late and watch movies or listen to music, I can.

If I want to go to bed early, and use the whole damn bed, I can.

If I want to go out and have a few drinks with my friends, I can.

I never have to laugh at unfunny memes’ found on FaceBook, or explain why I’m laughing so hard at anything.

I never have to justify my joy.

I’m my own person. Full, complete, and content.

And no one can drain that from me.

This is what I love about being single.

#4. So much space!

Being able to sleep diagonally across my bed, so much space !

#5. The same goes for me.

No one has to deal with my shit, and the same goes for me. Dunno how I’d handle that.

#6. Free of the constant anxiety.

I’m free of the constant anxiety of if I’m being a good boyfriend.

#7. No obligations.

the fact that I have no obligations to anyone on a daily basis (outside of my family and shit). all I gotta do is worry about myself. also I get to use all my money for me

Edit: Thanks for the silvers and all the replies, even the ones who disagree, I enjoy hearing your perspectives.

#8. When you put something somewhere.

No longer single but the fact that when you put something somewhere IT FUCKING STAYS THERE!!!

Edit : thank you for gold and silver!

#9. The thing I miss most.

married father here chiming in.

The thing I miss most about being single is the ability to act purely in your own self-interest without having any sense of guilt or responsibility to another person. And I’m not even talking about something with high stakes — I’m talking about something as simple as wanting to eat an entire bag of skittles without sharing with another person.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sacrificing for my family and sharing any and every thing I have with my wife and kid, but when you’re single, you have the ability and right to make every tiny decision based on your own self-interest or selfishness, and that’s something I sometimes miss on a very simple rudimentary level.

#10. Not worrying about their success.

I enjoy not worrying about their success. Life can be difficult, so supporting an SO and putting personal struggles on the back burner to do so can be exhausting.

Overall, a healthy relationship is still my favorite… but single is much better than an unhealthy one.

Obligatory Edit: Holy karma! Thank you everyone! I’m so happy that so many of you found some value in this post. I’m in the middle of a divorce and had been habitually putting myself second to my wife, so I’ve really been trying to convince myself this is true. All these fake internet points reassure me in my thinking and make me feel pretty great, so I really appreciate you all. Please stay awesome! 👉🏻😎👉🏻

#11. Delightfully selfish.

I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I can spend money on myself with zero regard for what anyone else thinks. I don’t have to factor anyone else into my plans or life decisions.

It can be lonely sometimes, but it’s also delightfully selfish.

#12. I don’t have to choose.

i don’t have to chose between hanging with my friends or my SO.

#13. Best of all…

Not having to share a bed.

Not having to share your food.

Your space. Your free time. Your time out with friends.

But best of all …

Not having to have unnecessarily long discussions on where to eat.

#14. Stuff can just happen.

That stuff can just happen. If I want to change my entire weekend plans, bam – done. If I stumble upon a thing that happens and want to participate, boom – done. If I don’t want to talk to anyone, ka-blam – done.

#15. Exactly where it should be.

Everything in my car and apartment is exactly where it should be.

Try not to be jealous, coupled people. We have perks, too.

Just not the same ones.

The post 15 Singles Discuss What They Love Most About Their Lifestyle appeared first on UberFacts.

When His Wife Refused to Vaccinate Their Child, This Desperate Dad Turned to the Internet for Advice

The list of things to go over with any potential spouse before tying the knot seems to be getting longer and longer these days. For some inexplicable reason, there’s a new one to add to the list: if you’re looking to procreate someday, you might want to find out what your potential spouse’s views are on vaccinating your future children.

According to the CDC, rates of vaccine refusals for non-medical reasons are on the rise, and we’re seeing outbreaks of previously all-but-eradicated diseases because of it.

The issue is more and more relevant, and, as this new dad found out, you’d better not assume the person you walked down the aisle with shares your views on the subject.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Title says it all. We’ve been married for 3 years now. She’s always been one for quirky, “against-the-grain” thinking and interests. However, it’s not just harmless things like believing there’s no gold in Ft.Knox, taking pictures of trash in “aesthetic poses”, or doodling interesting little paintings of naked women laying with trees, anymore… No, it was little things like that which made me fall in love with her. But now there’s this anti-vax bullshit.

She got sucked into one of those anti-vax Facebook indoctrination camps by one of her brain dead friends who takes pride in the fact she’s worked at a fucking Wawa for 10 years. She messaged my wife shortly after she posted pics of our newborn on Facebook.

I love my wife but she somehow manages to be the most stubborn individual on the planet while simultaneously being the most gullible and malleable. Shortly after birth (because this was pre-brainwashing) our child received her Vitamin K shot, and the Hep-B vaccine. However, now She’s refusing to give our child any of the other vaccines.

I know that in her mind, she’s coming from a place of love for our child but as you can imagine, this has caused a considerable amount of strain and we’ve had a number of arguments already. All her arguments/counter-arguments follow the same general outline.

“Oh well if you look this graph you’ll see that the numbers of cases for <X disease> have risen alongside the increased use of <Y vaccine>”

“I’m the mother here, this is a mothers instinct, I know I’m right, a mother knows best, etc etc etc…”

I’ve tried explaining to her the basic idea of “correlation doesn’t equal causation.” By showing her that as ice cream sales increase, so too do the murder rates. She followed that one up with “We aren’t talking about ice cream and murder, we’re talking about vaccines and debilitating diseases! They’re completely different!”

I’ve tried showing her the statistics detailing the infant mortality rates in lesser developed countries where vaccination isn’t as pertinent and that vaccines are effective. She follows that up with “Those statistics are created by think tanks funded by the government and “big-pharma”

She won’t budge and hasn’t budged for weeks now. Our arguments are devolving into the same tired routine over and over again and I’m worried that the only thing which will wake her up is our child being afflicted by some horrible disease like measles which could’ve been easily avoided.

I am in Florida. Is there anyway I can sneakily just bring my child to the doctor and have her vaccinated without my wife’s knowledge? What are my options here? Legally speaking, what kind of leeway do I have? I don’t want this to lead to divorce but I just feel quite lost at the moment.

He’s tried convincing his wife that vaccines are the way to go but she refuses to listen to logic and/or science, and he was looking for advice on whether he could get his child vaccinated on his own and, maybe, how to avoid getting a divorce in the process.

r/legaladvice had plenty to say on the first point – in sum, yes – and not much to say on the second.

Photo Credit: Reddit

I mean, he asked the legal advice subreddit for help – not r/relationships – and I think they handled it nicely.

And if he takes off the Band-aids after it’s all said and done, she’ll probably never know the difference, and the kid won’t become another unfortunate statistic.

What do you think?

The post When His Wife Refused to Vaccinate Their Child, This Desperate Dad Turned to the Internet for Advice appeared first on UberFacts.

Muslim Man Tweets About His Jewish Co-worker – But It’s Not What You Think

Getting along with your co-workers can often prove to be a challenge, and that goes double when we work with people who are very different from ourselves – different experiences, different upbringings, different backgrounds, different faiths, different whatever. But given that none of us want to end up on the street without a paycheck, getting along is the best (and only) option.

That said, when Muslim man Umar started a Twitter thread about how his Jewish co-worker treats him on the job, people everywhere were holding their breath.

Spoiler alert: It turned out to be for naught.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Umar told Bored Panda that not only was his co-worker, Elliot, super knowledgable about Islam and its rules, but that he genuinely cared about others and looked out for their best interests.

Photo Credit: Twitter

We should all aim to be a bit more like these two, who quietly respect their’ differences and work to ensure everyone can live the life they choose without interfering with other people’s right to do the same.

Photo Credit: Twitter

In the meantime, everyone is reveling in the good and light cast from Umar and his friend.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Be kind, y’all. It’s worth it.

The post Muslim Man Tweets About His Jewish Co-worker – But It’s Not What You Think appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Incredible Facts That Might Just Blow Your Mind

We live in a pretty strange world, full of so many unbelievable things that, if we showed them all to you at once, you’d go insane. Your mind would boggle at levels that are simply too much for the human body to take.

So, to preserve your health and sanity, we’re doling them out a little at time.

1. Try it out

Photo Credit: did you know?

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2. Mr. Video?

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3. They’re in charge

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4. Big fan

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5. Brace face

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6. They don’t mean it

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7. You’re late

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8. Eternal light

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9. Hmmmm

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10. Let them sleep!

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One question: are you able to speak?

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Instagram Account Pointing out Church Leaders Wearing Expensive Designer Shoes Sparks Online Debate

Ok, this is absolutely brilliant. A new Instagram account called PreachersNSneakers is calling out church leaders who have huge social media followings by showing the designer shoes that they wear and how much those kicks cost.

It started off as a joke between Tyler, the account’s creator, and his friends, but it’s grown into something much bigger since then.

As of this writing, the account has 125,000 followers and has blown up very quickly. Tyler said he created the account because “It started out as me being interested in sneakers and being involved with church culture … so those two things made for good comedic content.” He added, “This whole thing spun out of me sitting on my couch one Sunday. I was looking for this one song on YouTube and saw the lead singer in this worship band was wearing Yeezy 750s.”

Tyler quickly noticed a trend happening with church leaders he followed on Instagram: many of them wear expensive swag. He said, “I started questioning myself, ‘What is OK as far as optics…as far as pastors wearing hype or designer clothing?’ I don’t have an answer.” But, Tyler thinks to “have a discussion about what is appropriate” in regard to this topic.

The reactions have been varied, some people think the page is funny and others have been offended and believe it points out the hypocrisy of religion in America. One commenter said, “There’s a lot of money in the God business.”

Here are some more photos from the account. Be sure to scroll through the comments on the photos to get a taste of both sides of the argument.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Share in the comments!

The post Instagram Account Pointing out Church Leaders Wearing Expensive Designer Shoes Sparks Online Debate appeared first on UberFacts.

911 Operators Share the One Call That’ll Haunt Them Forever

It should be no secret that the people on the other end of the 9-1-1 line have super stressful jobs. They’re talking to human beings in their most desperate moments (and also some stupid and hilarious moments, of course), so of course they have some pretty good stories.

Like the 17 below, categorized by people on the job as totally “unforgettable.”

#1. Got you now, you little sh*t.

I have a few.

I took a call from a man who’s ~1 year old daughter fell in the pool while unattended. At the time of the call she was not breathing, unresponsive, and had no pulse. My partner dispatched out fire and EMS while I was on the phone. Got the child’s mother to start CPR. Fortunately she was certified and didn’t require very much instruction at all, just had to tell her to count her compressions out loud so I could keep up. Before first responders arrived, the baby starts breathing again. I believe she sustained some brain injury but nothing life threatening. Had to go take a walk around the block after that one. Please please please, if you aren’t CPR certified, get certified. It very well may have been the difference between that child living and dying.

On a lighter note, I also had a guy call in claiming he was having a heart attack. None of the info I got from this guy indicated he was even remotely at risk for one. Mid 20s male, average weight, no history of heart problems (or any other medical history for that matter). Turns out he had smoked some particularly strong pot about 30 minutes prior to calling. Absolutely nothing wrong with him other than he was stoned stupid. We got a pretty good laugh out of that one.

I also took a call from a kid who was about 10 years old who thought it would be funny to prank call 911. He started off by saying there was a fire. I could hear him giggling in the background. Followed that up with meowing at me over the phone. Managed to get a good location off the call and got his address. Read the address to him and asked if that’s where he lives. CLICK. Alright, got you now, you little shit. Had a deputy go out to the house as is our policy and he explained the situation to the parents. Deputy told me later the kid got the ass chewing of a lifetime. Super gratifying.

#2. We still had to check for spiders.

“A woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”

In college, I worked as an EMT in a major city. Not the craziest call I ever had but one of the wackiest call outs we ever got was to respond to “a woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”. I’ll never forget pulling up to this major intersection where, sure enough, there’s this old lady lying on the sidewalk with her pants off and legs spread up in the air. Turns out it was this transient lady in her 70s who had been having some wild hallucinations.

We still had to check for spiders 🙁

#3. He couldn’t let it go.

Not me, but my sister is a dispatcher. One time she received a call from a man who said he just killed his sister and brother. She kept him on the phone for 5 or 6 minutes to make sure he didn’t run before officers arrived. She got him to admit they had all been drinking and playing cards, then got into an argument when one of them accused the other of cheating. The other two went to bed, but this guy stayed up stewing. Apparently he couldn’t let it go. He shot each of them in their beds while they slept, then called 911. I heard a partial recording of the call and she sounded calm AF. She told me she was screaming on the inside the entire time.

#4. Profoundly sad.

Older lady, I want to say maybe early 70s, calls in with a sort of polite urgency in her voice, tells me she thinks she’s having a stroke. Tells me she has her grandchild at the house with her, asks me to call her daughter to come get the child.

By the time she’s done giving me the phone number there’s just a very slight slur in her speech. By the time EMS got there (probably no more than 5 minutes or so) I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. Fascinating, disturbing, and profoundly sad hearing someone stroke out on the phone as they’re talking to you.

#5. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

Had some one call saying a man had been killed by a goat. Turns out goat is what they also call the machine that picks oranges off of trees. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

#6. It was slugs.

I’ll go with a lighter one. I once had an elderly woman complain that gang members tagged her shed. She also said she didn’t want a black deputy (this is the south). The (black) deputy arrived and found that it wasnt spray paint, but that her shed was so dirty that slugs had eaten paths in the filth that created patterns.

#7. She’d been laying down in the back seat without her seatbelt on.

This one still bothers me because it’s so fresh and our community is hurting from it as well. Took a call from a hysterical woman advising me of a rollover crash that happened near her house. She lives near the top of a blind hill that people like to “jump” (like catching that butterfly feeling in your stomach, although you can get air in the right vehicle). She tells me that a girl is laying on the ground about 30 feet or so from the vehicle. When asked if the girl is alive, she says, “Oh yes, honey she’s wiggling around on the ground. My daughter is a nurse, she’s checking on her now.” Awesome. We hardly ever are lucky enough to have a trained professional on scene before a med unit can get there. But then she tells me her daughter is starting CPR. To be honest, that didn’t surprise me. My caller was getting hysterical again and we already had first responders on the way, so I started asking more questions about the scene. Her daughter breaks CPR to get on the phone with me. Tells me she can do compressions only, that the girl’s jaw is completely gone. A bit stunned, I tell her to continue compressions. But rather than getting put back on with the original caller, I hear the scared voice of a teenage girl, the driver. “Is my friend going to be okay?” I can’t find anything to say for a moment. Finally, after what seemed to be too long, I say “They’re doing CPR, dear. And we have help on the way. Are you and the other passenger okay?” “We’re fine. Just please tell me she’s okay.” The girl on the ground was confirmed D.O.A. She had been laying down in the back seat without her seat belt on because she had a headache. She was 15.

#8. The type of scream…

Answered to the sounds of a couple of women absolutely screaming and wailing (I’m sure anyone that has done the job long enough knows the type of scream I mean – that blood curdling scream of someone in genuine anguish). Knew something was up and got police and ambulance on the way. Trying to get them on the phone to get details and a boy of no more than five years old comes on the phone and says “my daddy is swinging from the roof and his eyes are open and staring”.

He had hung himself while his family were out doing their shopping.

#9. Kindness and compassion in his last moments.

A young man 23 years old called and told me he was going to commit suicide. He was my first call of my shift that day, very early in the morning. He planned to set his car on fire with himself inside. He was upset and crying but he apologized to me. He said he was sorry I picked up the phone and he was sorry for how this was going to affect me. He hung up on me and the second time I was speaking to him I could hear liquid splashing in the background. He ended hanging up again and I never got him back. He did end up setting the on fire and it was fully engulfed by the time anyone got there. I’ll never forget his name or voice and I simply hope I showed him kindness and compassion in his last moments.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver kind strangers! I appreciate all the comments. I’m fine. Im lucky enough to have an amazing support system in my co-workers and I have an awesome spouse to keep me grounded. This call made me a better dispatcher. It’s easy to become desensitized to the horrific things we hear and this young man renewed my passion for helping people.

#10. Biggest WTF.

Well, my buddy is a fireman and dispatch had just alerted them of a man having chest pains. They get to the guys house, and as soon as they open the door, the dudes dog runs outside. The dude shouts “you let my dog out! go get my dog! Please!” So my buddy immediately starts chasing the dog.

He catches the dog, comes back to the house, and when he walks in the door he sees that the man having “chest pains” had actually shot a HOLE IN HIS CHEST while cleaning his gun.

Old dude shoots himself in the chest, tells 911 it’s chest pains, and when help arrives, he makes them go chase his dog down before tending to his own life threatening wound. Biggest WTF of my buddies career

#11. Pretty messed up.

This actually happened a few days ago. I’m an ER tech, but one of our unit secretaries (someone who transfers calls and does other important tasks that keeps the place afloat) is an EMT in the next county over. I was waiting for a patient to return to their room, talking with her, when she looks down at her phone. She tells me she has the dispatch app or whatever for ambulances and fire trucks, and every firehall in the county had just received a call about a possible decomposing body. Apparently the neighbor called about a terrible smell coming from the property. Hazmat was called and everything, expecting a dead human body.

Once they broke into the house, they found that it wasn’t a dead human, but 38 dogs in the house. 11 of the dogs were dead and in “varying states of decomposition”. The place is still pretty much under wraps, but 16 more dogs were found in the shed yesterday. The two people who owned the house have since been arrested and charged with 51 counts of animal cruelty. All of the animals left alive were taken to the humane society, where half of the county has just about donated food or blankets.

The whole thing is pretty messed up, but I now for sure respect the hell out of the EMTs and paramedics that walk through our doors everyday. They really never know what they’re going to see when they walk into a place.

Here’s the most recent article: https://www.carrollcountytimes.com/news/local/cc-dogs-cruelty-040919-story,amp.html

#12. It really messed with my head.

I’ve been a 911 dispatcher for 11 years in a medium size center (population ~180,000). We have more than our share of crazy calls but there are only a few calls that have stuck with me. For me the ones that I can’t get rid of aren’t even close to being the craziest or most brutal.

7-8 years ago I took a 911 call from a man who came home to find his adult sister had been raped and beaten. The suspect had wrapped a telephone cord around her neck then tried to push her through the window of the apartment. He was understandably very distraught. She was still alive and was able to talk to me. She had not been blindfolded and I was certain I could get a description of the person who had done this to her. She answered all of my other questions but absolutely refused to give me any info on the suspect. I later found out that the reason was self-preservation, the person who did it was the brother who called 911 for help. He was so believable it really messed with my head. I also felt horrible that I had continued pressing her for info with the person who hurt her was right there and that I could have potentially put her in more danger without realizing.

#13. She was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.

I was a dispatcher for a residential alarm company similar to ADT. I would call people when their alarm was tripped and ask them if they were okay.
One day I received a signal from a residence from a glass break sensor on a window in the bathroom.
When i called the lady was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.
Turns out she was cleaning her bathroom and when she bent over she farted so hard and loud it set off the sensor on the bathroom window.

#14. Not even a little bit.

Not 911, but tele-nursing, people called me plenty when it should have been 911.

Grandma, calls me about her 16 year old, 40 week pregnant, grand daughter.

GM: Hey my grandbaby is pregnant and she just went to pee and said the cord is hanging out….is that normal?

Me: No…..not even a little bit

#15. Not something I’ll ever forget.

For me, the worst ones are always the calls you can relate to on a personal level. I took a call last month from a father who discovered his son with a bag over his head and a note next to his body. I’ve taken a ton of suicide calls, but this one was particularly difficult for me because the son was my age, and the way the father pleaded with his son was almost exactly the same way I’ve imagined my dad if I were to ever do the same. I’ve had the same “Come on, buddy! Don’t do this to me!” running in my head at least 2-3 times a day since.

Also, not technically a call but my first shift on my own, I dispatched the deputy I did my ride along with to a domestic that he ended up being shot and killed at. Hearing his blood-gurgled “shots fired” scream on the radio won’t be something I’ll ever forget.

#16. It was a wild time.

A woman masturbating on the phone.

The first time she called she sounded normal at first. Asked for an officer that never worked here. General conversation about this officer while she progressively got more.. extreme with her moaning. I eventually (and gracefully) ended the conversation. It was a wild time. I still remember her name and voice.

The second and third times she called I asked if it was her and she hung up right away.

Why are you like this Ms. Roberts? What is your end game?

Edit: For clarification, we traced the number down to a woman in Florida. We’re located in Missouri and our agency is tiny (part of why I like this job). Hunting her down and bringing her to justice probably would have gotten her offwouldn’t have been worth the hassle.

#17. It will stick with me forever.

Student Paramedic here. Had a call being general broadcasted over radio when I was chilling in base with my mentor (we were on a 2 man car ambulance) operator who was broadcasting said something along the lines of: “female, reportedly unconscious, police on scene, major trauma (pause)… CPR in progress confirmed arrest by police on scene.”

my mentor looks at me, we’re off in 30 mins at the end of a night shift but we go anyway. We’re around the corner. Make it there in no time at all. There’s police EVERYWHERE. at least 7 squad cars. I’m nervous as hell and so is my mentor. As we approach the house, a man emerges, handcuffed by police. He looks content enough and smiles at us as we walk by. Police shout for us to hurry, we run over with equipment to front door and are met with one of the worst scenes I’ve ever seen and will always be there in my mind.

There’s a woman lying on the ground, with the left side of her head caved in, blood absolutely all over the place and brain matter scattered around the floor too. Police are doing CPR, we stop them when we see the Patient has signs of pooling and rigor mortis. I’m literally sweating and on the verge of tears, this is not how I wanted my shift to end. Then, we hear from behind us more police in the house and the sounds of children. 2 kids are escorted out of a bedroom behind us with their eyes covered and one of them asks:”what’s going on Where’s Mommy?”. My heart melted. I’ve never been exactly traumatised by a job but those kids being shielded from what just happened to their mother will stick with me forever.

I bring equipment back to the ambulance as my mentor starts to do paperwork and we wait for someone to move the body. Social services arrive and take the kids, blissfully unaware of what’s just happened. Was off 3 hours late after all the paperwork and interviewing from police. Good job, but man has it lefts it’s mark on me.

I couldn’t do it. Glad others can!

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15 Seriously, Ridiculously Awkward Family Photos

Every family’s got at least one: that awkward, inexplicable photo that you hope nobody will ever see again. Maybe it’s in one of your mom’s albums, or it’s tucked away somewhere in Aunt Carol’s basement. Maybe you’re just waiting for the day that you can burn it, thereby erasing your family’s secret shame from the annals of history.

These 15 photos are a good mix of every kind of awkward photo, and since they’re not lurking in your mother’s basement, feel free to laugh instead of cringe.

#1. A true classic.

Image Credit: Reddit

#2. I’m frightened.

Image Credit: Reddit

#3. The day you realized your parents lied to you about how awesome school is.

Image Credit: Reddit

#4. What happens when your mom is a hairdresser and needs practice.

Image Credit: Reddit

#5. Some kids have trouble watching their parents walk away at school. Or she’s rehearsing for her part as the pig in the school play.

Image Credit: Reddit

#6. What’s up with the second girl from the right?

Image Credit: Reddit

#7. The most horrifying photo bomb.

Image Credit: Reddit

#8. When one of you farted but you’re blaming it on each other.

Image Credit: Reddit

#9. Favorite prom photo ever.

Image Credit: Reddit

#10. Y’all what on earth.

Image Credit: Reddit

#11. I feel like this is definitely on its way back in style.

Image Credit: Reddit

#12. She’s nailing this big sister thing.

Image Credit: Reddit

#13. When you Google “engagement quote” and use the first one that comes up.

Image Credit: Reddit

#14. Maximum 80s.

Image Credit: Reddit

#15. No way these two weren’t awesome parents.

Image Credit: Reddit

Feeling a little better about your weird family?

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15+ People Who Are Not Sorry At All, Thank You Very Much!

Sometimes you do something and you really regret it.

Not these 18 people! They do not regret a thing, and it’s wonderful to read. Because when you’re truly wronged, you deserve a little retribution.

Or if you want a plum… go get the plum!

You’ll see…

1. Slowly…

Slowing down when someone is tailing me.

I only do this in the slow lane, I typically move if I’m in the fast lane.

2. This aunt needs to get her priorities straight!

My aunt was about to get married to this one rich scumbag who apparently treated her “right”. My brother and I did some investigating over the fact that he had lots and I mean LOTS of female friends.

A lot of sht went on, but in the end, we found out that he was a sleeping with and is a sugardaddy to some of of them. It was just three days before the actual wedding that we found out.

Told our aunt about it, wedding was cancelled, aunt was upset with us as well for some reason, and we regret nothing.

3. The right thing to do!

Sneaking pictures of my aunt into her fathers funeral slideshow behind her sisters back.

The two never got along and one sister was in charge of the funeral. She was adamant about leaving out any photo with her sister in it. My aunt (the victim in this case) was very close with her father. So I lied to my other aunt that the slideshow was done and I downloaded a secret folder of pictures onto the slideshow. She’s so bad with technology that she didn’t notice.

Not sorry.

My other aunt gave me a teary hug after the funeral and thanked me, she knew I had been the one to slip them in. She died last month of a sudden aneurism. I’d do it again, even if my other aunt never talked to me again. I sure miss her.

4. Be kind to yourself!

I’m not sorry for focusing on me and my needs. I used to be so concerned with taking care of all my friends and family to the point that I was I was sacrificing my needs for a lot of people who would not do the same for me. I’ve learned to cut toxic people out of my life and focus on my true close friends and family rather than trying to care for everyone.

Being liked by everyone used to be so important to me and honestly it’s so exhausting. I’m not sorry if people don’t like me anymore. It’s impossible to make everyone happy.

As long as you’re not being a complete asshole, you need to take your needs into consideration as well.

5. Time to grow up kid!

I love my daughter to death, but at 25, I had to cut her off financially.

I support everything she is passionate about, but if your passion is working for non-profits and wilderness retreats, maybe you should adjust your lifestyle so you can afford your bills.

6. Bully… watch your back…

In Elementary School, a kid named Patrick was my bully and he’d do shit like “accidentally” bump into me and spill my lunch and step on the backs of my shoes.

So one day, he was coming out of the cafeteria and I stuck my leg out and watched him trip face forward into the ground. We both got sent to the Principal’s Office, and he got whatever the Elementary School version of an In-School Suspension was for his repetitive bullying while I got a slap on the wrist.

Absolutely not sorry.

7. Completely fair!

Eating the snacks that my wife has forgotten about.

8. Facebook is not real life, people!

Quitting FB and having people complain that they don’t know what I’m up to. Fucking ask me!

9. Oh, this is a really good idea…

Cutting out my dad’s side of the family from my life.

They made my life a living hell while I was growing up. I was the youngest of the cousins so I would regularly get beat up or locked in rooms (my dad worked nights). They would smash furniture and TVs then blame me. As a young adult all they did was cause more drama by still break things in my dad’s apartment, or try to start physical fights. I’ve had so many fist fights with my cousin from defending my property to protecting my cat (no one messes with my kitty).

Once I moved out of my dad’s I cut all contact with them. I maybe see them once a year when my dad tricks me into seeing them (he has the mentality of always forgive family).

They know nothing of my adult life and I know nothing of theirs and I’m going to keep it that way.

10. Charities shouldn’t pressure like this…

I refused to give money to charity. Okay, but hear me out on this.

There was a lady who was claiming to represent a charity, but acted really shady. This was at a concert in a cafe/bar. She had a clipboard and was approaching people by saying “I’m taking donations for (whatever charity). Just write down whether you’re giving $5, $10, or $20.”

She didn’t ask if you’d donate, just told you to choose how much you were giving her.

I told her I prefer giving to charities I’ve researched, because some of them only spend a low percentage of donation money on the cause (Susan B. Komen ಠ_ಠ ). The lady got angry and raised her voice at me. She tried shaming and bullying me into giving her money, and we seriously fought about it.

Eventually she turned to my friend and started pressuring him lol. He said “Yeah uh…like my friend said…” and she stormed off. You have to trust me, there was something off about her. Plus, she waited until people were buzzed at a concert before approaching to tell them to give her money.

11. Fire in the hole!

Laughing at my friend in high school who stuffed her bra with tissue and then dropped a cigarette down her cleavage and she thought the tissue was going to catch on fire and dumped a beer on herself. I refused to stuff my bra and she said I was chicken, this was her karma. I felt bad when her parents smelled the beer and grounded her for drinking though.

12. YES!

Leaving my abusive ex.

13. Hey, it’s your wedding!

Not inviting my needy aunt to go wedding dress shopping with me. She’s begged me already and has been dropping hints for months, but I’m not budging.

This is the one time in my life that something really is only about me, and I’m not going to deal with her drama that day.

14. RIP Fido *sniff*

Creating a small “pet cemetery” in our parents’ back yard, despite my father forbidding it.

It felt like the right thing to do – no regrets.

15. Plums!

Eating the plums from the icebox.

They were delicious.

So sweet, and so cold.

16. Tips ARE NOT mandatory…

I’m normally a big tipper as I worked in the industry a long time but last week I left zero tip for my server that did a horrible job.

17. Don’t be a dick to the customers, please!

When we were in high school, my friends and I would always go to the same diner.

About 85% of the time we’d get sat with this awful woman who’d treat us like shit. She’d smile and be polite with grown ups, but the smile would disappear the second she got to us. She’d leave our food on the counter for 5-10 minutes while she talked to other tables, never refill a single drink, and roll her eyes if you asked for anything.

The first few times I just figured she wasn’t trying because she thought teenagers would tip like shit, so I tipped her really well. But the shitty service continued, and eventually I just tipped her $0.

Only time I’ve ever done that, but she really earned that $0.

18. Sometimes, this is necessary.

Telling the parents of a special needs child (think similar to Down’s Syndrome) that their daughter was struggling a lot with normal schooling (even with her IEP and own lesson plans) and she would be better off in a special needs school sooner rather than later.

They said to be honest with them and I was.

Sorry, not sorry!

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