20 Literal Translations That Might Make You LOL

Have you ever tried to learn a foreign language? Then you likely realized – quickly – that knowing vocabulary and verb tenses is only part of becoming truly bilingual. Every language has idioms and sayings that are quirky and unique (some even vary by region!) that you have to figure out before people will make total sense when they talk.

Because some of the literal translations of those idioms? Hilarious, even if they do make a weird sort of sense!

Facebook group Monolinguals are the worst encouraged its members to share the funniest literal translations they know, and…y’all. Prepare to be amused.

20. There are wide range of how people think about ladybugs.

Image Credit: Facebook

19. Think of it as hair – that’s one way to save your diet.

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18. This mental image is just more than I can really compute.

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17. Annnnd now I want one more than ever.

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16. I don’t really get why, but it is funny.

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15. That is not at all appetizing.

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14. I know name calling is wrong but they kind of deserve it.

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13. An oddly accurate description.

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12. Without a thumb, but okay.

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11. It is quite delicious.

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10. Because he’s lying in wait I get it.

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9. That’s what it tastes like!

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8. The dove part is totally throwing me.

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7. They call them like they see them.

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6. Yes, yes that’s what it does so that’s what it is.

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5. You will find that Germans are very practical.

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4. I guess it depends on which side of this you’re on…

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3. I’m going to need someone to explain this to me.

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2. Let the uprising begin.

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1. You know what they used to do to witches, right?

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These renew my interest in learning another language.

Do you speak more than one? Do you have a favorite idiom that’s not totally translatable? Please share it in the comments!

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Here’s a Silly but Helpful Guide to Identifying the Artist Behind Famous Paintings

Art history is not for everyone, but there is definitely value in being able to look at a painting and know whose brush brought it to life.

And while it takes years for scholars to study the intricacies and subtleties of why the paintings of particular artists look the way they do, you can learn to spot them at a glance with these simple, hilarious tricks.

Van Eyck

Everyone, including the women, looks like Vladamir Putin.

Dali

If you’ve ever had an acid trip, this is what it looked like. If you haven’t, well, use your imagination.

Rembrandt

Everyone is a hobo illuminated by a dim streetlamp. Even himself.

Bosch

Lots of tiny people, lots of other insane crap going on, too.

Picasso

There’s not a single “normal” body in the bunch.

Da Vinci

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#LEONARDESCHI On the occasion of Leonardo Da Vinci’s exhibition at the Louvre museum, let’s discover a masterpiece by Cesare Magni, from the Leonardeschi School. To create this peaceful Virgin and Child, the Italian painter from Milan was inspired by theories of perspective, balance, perception of nature and the use of light. But one of the great interests of this piece is its dating! Indeed, if Magni's well-known 1530s paintings were copies of Raphael or Da Vinci, this painting from 1523 is an original artwork, unique in its own! Hit the link in our bio for further information! . CESARE MAGNI The Virgin and Child – 1523 Estimate: 200,000 – 300,000 € / 220,860 – 331,290 $ . Old Master & 19th Century Art Auction on November 13 at 6pm Exhibitions on November 8 to 13, 11am – 6pm . . . #artcurial #auctionhouse #artcollection #artcollector #cesaremagni #virginandchild #madone #renaissance #oldmaster #italianpainter #milan #leonarddevinci #renaissanceart #leonardeschi #louvre #louvremuseum #leonardodavinci #davinci

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Lord of the Rings featuring wavy-haired Madonnas instead of Hobbits.

Degas

Look for the ballerinas, my friends.

Manet

Are fancy people not having fun at parties? It’s Manet.

Renoir

Fancy people are having fun at parties!

Michelangelo 

Everyone is naked, beautiful, and ripped. We’re talking men with 10-packs.

Monet

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"IMPRESSION SOLEIL LEVANT" obra del pintor francés Claude Monet . En 1874, un grupo de jóvenes pintores rechazados por el Salón oficial decidió exponer sus obras en el taller del fotógrafo Nadar. Monet presentó, entre otras obras, esta marina pintada dos años atrás. Escribió a uno de sus amigos: "He enviado a la exposición una cosa hecha en el Havre desde mi ventana, con el sol entre la bruma, y en primer plano, unos mástiles apenas apuntando. me han pedido que le dé título. Como no podía ser una Vista de El Havre, les he respondido: Llamadla Impresión". Edmond Renoir, hermano del pintor, que fue responsable del catálogo de la exposición, añadió amanecer para hacer la denominación mas figurativa. De esta forma el cuadro quedaba titulado: Impression soleil levant (Impresión del sol naciente) . Para conocer más sobre esta bella pintura visita nuestro blog. #arte #art #arthistory #arthistorian #historians #historiadelarte #historyofart #pintura #picture #artista #artistsoninstagram #artoftheday #artsy #arts #artcurator #artwork #arttoday #monet

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Dappled light and no people.

Titian

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While out hunting, Actaeon accidentally stumbles upon the secret bathing place of Diana, chaste goddess of the hunt, and sees her naked. His fate is foretold by the stag’s skull on the plinth and the skins of Diana’s former prey hanging above her head. The conclusion of the story is shown in another painting by Titian our collection called 'The Death of Actaeon'. The outraged goddess transforms Actaeon into a stag to be torn apart by his own hounds. The paintings were part of a famous series of mythological pictures made for King Philip II of Spain when Titian was at the height of his powers. Works of unprecedented beauty and inventiveness, their subjects were based on the Roman poet Ovid’s Metamorphoses – Titian himself referred to them as ‘poesie’ (poems). 'Diana and Actaeon' was designed to be hung together with 'Diana and Callisto' (co-owned by the National Gallery and @natgalleriessco) – a stream runs between them. Detail from Titian, 'Diana and Actaeon', 1556-9 © The National Gallery, London. #titian #dianaandactaeon #renaissance #art #arthistory #painting #gallery #instamuseum #artwork #oilpainting #artmuseum #gallery #nationalgallerylondon #trafalgarsquare

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The world is dark and people are tortured.

Caravaggio

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Concerto di giovani, Caravaggio, 1595. Il committente di questo dipinto è il Cardinale Francesco Maria Del Monte. Il Caravaggio dipinge questi giovani con vesti tipiche dell'antica Roma, per essere più precisi con vesti di età ellenica. I ragazzi sono tre vi è quello "situato" al centro, un altro alle sue spalle e l'altro di spalle, tutti e tre sono impegnati a suonare diversi strumenti musicali. Quello a sinistra della tela con le ali è Cupido che invece è impegnato a gustare un grappolo d'uva. Il ragazzo al centro è Mario Menniti un caro amico dell'artista, il ragazzo accanto Minniti ha i lineamenti che ricordano quelli del Merisi. Gli oggetti di quest'opera sono: vari spartiti musicali sui quali sono riportati dei madrigali (tema esaltazione dell'amore). Il liutista al centro sembra quasi che stia per piangere e si strugge al suono di questi versi d'amore (effetti negativi dell'amore). Vi è un violino in primo piano, nessuno lo sta suonando, per cui sembra quasi che il musicista mancante è l'osservatore di questa scena. #caravaggio #concertodigiovani #barocco #instaday #instadaily #instamood #photooftheday #photo #photography #shoot #igersitalia #art #storiadellarte #likeforlikes

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The men look like curly-haired, big-eyed women.

Frida Kahlo

Everyone has a unibrow. Also, it’s mostly just Frida Kahlo.

Go ahead and thank the internet for making you look super smart next time you head to the museum.

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20 Keanu Reeves Quotes That Might Give You a Different Perspective on Life

Even though Keanu Reeves started off his movie career playing roles as lovable goofballs and slackers (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Parenthood, etc.), he’s actually a pretty deep and introspective person who seems to have a unique outlook on life.

And has this guy had a career resurgence, or what? Reeves is more popular than ever right now due to the success of the John Wick movies, and it’s been announced that there are new Bill & Ted and The Matrix movies in the works.

But back to the man himself, the real-life Keanu Reeves. Let’s take a look at 20 quotes from Reeves, who is, by all accounts, extremely generous and humble in his everyday life.

1. “Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times, they can only make you stronger.”

 

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2. “Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily lives that we forget to take the time out to enjoy the beauty in life. It’s like we’re zombies. Look up and take your headphones out. Say “Hi” to someone you see and maybe give a hug to someone who looks like they’re hurting.”

3. “The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way.”

4. “If you can make a woman laugh, you’re seeing the most beautiful thing on God’s Earth.”

 

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5. “I thank the earth and the sky every day for the opportunities I’ve had.”

6. “Sometimes enemies are our best teachers, people can learn from their mistakes, destruction sometimes means rebirth.”

7. “Grief changes shape but it never ends.”

8. “I was also raised to treat people exactly how I would like to be treated by others. It’s called respect.”

 

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9. “When I don’t feel free and can’t do what I want, I just react. I go against it.”

10. “I will always be in love with love.”

11. “It is incredibly empowering to know that your future is in your hands.”

12. “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so live today!”

 

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13. “You have to change your life if you’re not happy, and wake up if things aren’t going the way you want.”

14. “Sometimes simple things are the most difficult things to achieve.”

15. “Try to be wrong once in a while, it’ll do your ego good.”

 

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16. “If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with the heart of an angel.”

17. “Our dreams can teach us, instruct us, confuse us, sometimes I think they look to be considered. They are an opportunity and I think they most certainly could be utilized to focus, to try and achieve — whether it’s looking for someone, or influencing us, or inspiring us.”

18. “Multi-culture is the real culture of the world — a pure race doesn’t exist.”

19. “The person who was holding me back from my happiness was me.”

 

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20. “None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an afterthought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean.”

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This Company Sells a Mini Jacuzzi Just for Your Testicles

Dad, this one’s for you…

I can’t wait to see the look on his face as he beams with pride, sensing that I finally understand him as a human being. It will be a beautiful bonding moment that we’ll both remember forever. Perhaps we can even enjoy this unique activity together at the kitchen table…sitting side by side…

Okay, that’s not gonna happen, but you have to admit the idea of the Testicuzzi is certainly intriguing…and kind of hilarious. Yes, it is a mini jacuzzi that is just for your testicles.

The company website describes how this unique product was born:

“There are many conversations that inspire ideas in people. There are also many conversations about testicles and other things that inspire people to laugh. The conceiving of the Testicuzzi is no different. Just over a year ago, a few friends were hanging out on a houseboat in beautiful lake powell.

As many drunk conversations go, the conversation turned to college trends and what’s going on in the world of sexuality. Turns out, some people enjoy placing their testicles into a cup of water and letting someone blow bubbles in the water with a straw. The visual was too funny to pass up and the idea of the testicle jacuzzi (Testicuzzi) was born. After a few weeks of initial idea drawing and 3D printing the first iteration of the hot tub for your testicles was developed and produced.

Since then, there have been several variations of the hot tub for your nuts, but the essence of the Testicuzzi has remained the same and after many prototypes and a lot of 3D printing. The final Testicuzzi was born into this beautiful world.”

The world is definitely a better place with this product…

Posted by Testicuzzi on Friday, August 9, 2019

The mini jacuzzis will cost you $39.95, and they come in black or white – so you do you, okay?

I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but you might want to get these as stocking stuffers for all the males in your life for Christmas this year. This one’s for you, dad…

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A Public Service Announcement Compares the Dangers of Kids Playing Football to Smoking

When I was growing up, parents didn’t think twice about letting their kids play organized football. I played myself for several years, and I never thought about any of the possible repercussions that came along with getting hit over and over again on the field.

But parents with young kids today, including several of my friends who now have children of their own, are adamant that they will never, ever let their children play football. And maybe there’s a good reason for that…

Letting kids play football has come under fire in recent years due to the knowledge about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), the disease that many former football players and others have suffered from after receiving multiple head injuries. To make the point, the Concussion Legacy Foundation released a public service announcement comparing the long-term effects of kids playing football to children smoking cigarettes.

In the PSA, a young boy says, “Tackle football is like smoking. The younger I start, the longer I am exposed to danger. You wouldn’t let me smoke. When should I start tackling?”

A study reports that it’s the number of years spent playing football, not the number of head injuries a person suffers, that impacts the severity of CTE.

The PSA calls for parents to wait until their children are 14 years old to let them play tackle football. Take a look at the PSA below.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you let your kids play football or do you refuse?

Sound off in the comments.

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You Can Try to Survive Against Jason from ‘Friday the 13th’ at This Campground in Arizona

Real talk: I need to get out to Arizona immediately to get in on this action. I’m a horror movie fanatic (and a Friday the 13th fan in particular), and this sounds like a total blast…it also sounds pretty terrifying, so double the fun!

A company in Arizona called On Pins and Needles hosts horror-themed events, including one called F13: Survive Jason that challenges guests to survive a night on a campground with the one and only Jason Voorhees.

Posted by F13: Survive Jason on Saturday, September 14, 2019

The event is described like this:

“F13: Survive Jason is a horror fan’s nerd dream. After watching the series, the question inevitably arises: if I was in this situation, could I survive Jason? We all like to think we can. Avoid the horror movie tropes. Run instead of walk. Don’t investigate that sound in the dark. I decided to put that to the test.

The creation of this game is to let people have the experience of testing their mettle against one of the baddest slashers in the genre, Jason Voorhees. In a safe, real world scenario, players get to step into Camp Crystal Lake and attempt to escape from an unstoppable, unkillable force. If you win, you deserve a prize! If you get caught, well…you’re just another Jason victim.

Hopefully your death is memorable. With a fantastic team working to set up, create, and execute, we hope that everyone who participates has the same thrill that we get.”

Does that sound awesome, or what?

Posted by F13: Survive Jason on Monday, August 5, 2019

The upcoming F13: Survive Jason events are scheduled for November 9, November 16, December 13, and December 21 from 6:00 p.m.-11:00 p.m. so you better get going if you want to spend a night trying to outwit (and not get killed by) the legendary Jason.

Posted by F13: Survive Jason on Saturday, September 14, 2019

Eek!

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This Woman Made Her Grandmothers Her Flower Girls at Her Wedding

When planning a wedding, it’s important to focus not only on details that will make the day sweet and romantic and beautiful, but that will also represent who the bride and groom are as a couple as they begin their lives together.

Which sometimes means messing with a classic….

When it comes to choosing who will sprinkle flower petals on the ground at their feet, most brides go straight to any adorable little girls in their family – but not Tennessee bride Lyndsey Raby.

Instead, she bestowed the honor on the four grandmothers in her life.

With a combined age of 308, Lyndsey’s great-grandmother Kathleen (90), her grandmothers Wanda (76) and Betty (72), and her husband-to-be’s grandmother Joyce (70), were sure to be as wise as they were beautiful, and what bride couldn’t benefit from some well-timed advice on the day of her wedding?

The women wore matching pastel blue, sequined dresses for the event, and, unlike children, they didn’t try to steal the show (or start crying or back out at the last minute).

Photographer Natalie Caho shared some of the resulting photos on Instagram, along with a reminder that brides like Lyndsey are so lucky to have not only one, but multiple, grandparents present at a wedding.

“I’ve seen a lot of cute flower girls in my day…but these four gals take the cake,” Caho added.

(Click through to see more photos!)

 

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They really do, and it seems like Lyndsey has a good head on her shoulders and heart in her chest – a sure sign that all four of these women have done something right along the way.

Congrats to the happy couple!

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It’s True: Bill Murray Applied to Work at a P.F. Chang’s in the Atlanta Airport

Just when you thought Bill Murray couldn’t get any cooler…

The man is full of surprises, isn’t he? But before we get into this amazing story, let’s do a quick review of the 69-year-old actor’s great films: Stripes, Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, What About Bob? 

The list never ends…

But back to the big story. On a recent episode of Amy Schumer’s podcast 3 Girls, 1 KeithMurray was asked what job he’d like to do besides acting. He said, “I did fill out an application at P.F. Chang’s at the Atlanta airport, because I think that’s one of the great places. It looks like the best time.”

Of course, Murray’s comments went viral and the restaurant chain itself responded to the story. Looks like he has a job waiting for him if he wants it!

On the same podcast, Murray also admitted his love for Family Feud. He said, “I’m going to give you my little secret — I record it. I can come home and I have recorded 61 episodes of ‘Family Feud,’ because it’s on all day long. It’s on all day long and by law it has to be on all day long. But then, what I do is I take the time to fast forward in each episode all the way to Fast Money. Cause that to me is the excitement part of the show. I skip the early rounds because I don’t always respect their tactics.”

No word on whether Mr. Murray will actually be working at a Chinese chain restaurant, but we can always keep our fingers crossed…

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Learn About 5 of the Most Notorious Criminals of the past 50 Years

It’s hard to definitively come up with the most notorious American criminals from the past 50 years, but these men and women absolutely belong in the conversation. Each and every one of these killers was responsible for the murders of multiple innocent people, and their names alone still bring up images of death and mayhem.

This list is not complete by any means, but there is no denying that these five criminals shocked and terrified millions of Americans – and people around the world – with their wicked deeds.

1. John Wayne Gacy

Notoroius serial killer John Wayne Gacy was executed 25 years ago today.

Posted by Investigation Discovery on Friday, May 10, 2019

In the annals of American serial killers, John Wayne Gacy remains one of the most terrifying. Gacy worked as a contractor in the Chicago area, and he was active in local politics. He also entertained area children by dressing as a character he called “Pogo the Clown.”

Little did friends, family, and neighbors know that, underneath his normal facade, Gacy was a serial killer who preyed on boys and young men. After murdering his victims, Gacy buried many of them in the crawlspace under his home.

He was finally arrested in December 1978 and was eventually convicted of an astounding 33 murders. Gacy was executed by lethal injection in Illinois in 1994 when he was 52 years old.

2. Aileen Wuornos 

Aileen Wuornos was executed by lethal injection on October 9, 2002.

Posted by Investigation Discovery on Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Aileen Wuornos‘ life story is one of remarkable tragedy almost from the very beginning. She was born to teenage parents in 1956. Soon after, her mother abandoned her, and her father, whom she never met, hanged himself in a prison cell when Wuornos was 12. She ended up being raised by her grandparents, but that was no better; she suffered from sexual abuse from a young age, becoming pregnant at the age of 14.

Wuornos began working as a prostitute when she was only 15, and this twisted her towards a lifetime of depravity. In 1989, after spending some time drifting and some time in jail, Wuornos committed her first murder. Before her capture in a Florida bar in 1991, Aileen Wuornos murdered an additional six men, later claiming that she killed them in self-defense.

Wuornos was convicted and was executed by lethal injection in Florida in 2002, marking the end of a tragic life filled with hatred and violence.

3. Jeffrey Dahmer

Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was finally caught on this day in 1991.

Posted by Investigation Discovery on Monday, July 22, 2019

The name Dahmer is synonymous with evil, and there are many reasons why; in fact, there are exactly 16 reasons. That is the number of men that Jeffrey Dahmer killed during a murder spree that lasted from 1987 until his capture in 1991. Dahmer also killed a man in 1978 when he was only 18 years old.

Dahmer lived in an apartment building in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and that apartment – #213 – became a torture chamber for the men who crossed its threshold. Dahmer picked up many of his victims at gay bars and lured them back to his apartment, where he then murdered them, dismembered their bodies, and – in some cases – ate their body parts.

Dahmer’s neighbors complained of foul smells and loud noises coming from apartment 213. They even heard chainsaws running on occasion. On July 22, 1991, Dahmer’s horrific life as a free man came to an end when he was arrested after a victim managed to escape Dahmer’s apartment before being killed. Arresting officers found a literal house of horrors, filled with severed heads, human hearts, and other body parts and bones.

Dahmer confessed and was sentenced to life in prison. In November 1994, Dahmer, then 34 years old, was beaten to death in a Wisconsin prison by another inmate.

4. Dennis Rader

BTK's Daughter Kerri Rawson Speaks Out

Imagine what it's like to learn your father is a notorious serial killer. Watch more without signing in ➡ https://id.network/BTKUntoldStories

Posted by Investigation Discovery on Thursday, September 26, 2019

Dennis Rader, also known as “BTK” (Bind, Torture, Kill) is one of the more perplexing serial killers in American history because he followed no specific patterns and some of his murders occurred years apart.

From 1974 until his eventual capture in 2005, Rader kept the citizens of Wichita, Kansas, and surrounding areas in complete terror with his murders and the taunting letters he sent to police and news outlets.

Rader murdered 10 people, including two children, between 1974 and 1991, and he remained a free man for another 14 years before he was captured. A minor slip-up proved to be his undoing: police were able to trace a floppy disk he sent them back to his church, which led to his arrest in February 2005. Rader confessed to his crimes and was sentenced to life behind bars.

Today, Dennis Rader is 74 years old, and he will spend the rest of his days behind bars in a maximum-security prison in Kansas.

5. Charles Manson

Charles Manson's name alone sends a chill down our spines.

Posted by Investigation Discovery on Thursday, May 9, 2019

The fact remains that Charles Manson never actually killed anyone (that we know of), but he was responsible for directing the murders of 7 people and one unborn child over the course of two terrifying nights in August 1969. The murders of Hollywood star Sharon Tate, her friends, and a separate middle-aged married couple shook Los Angeles to its core and captured the attention of the nation.

When the truth came out a few months later that a group of young hippies led by a charismatic ex-convict named Charles Manson was responsible for the murders, Americans were riveted.

A lengthy and dramatic trial ensued and Manson and several of his followers were put behind bars for life. After spending decades in prison in California, Charles Manson died in November 2017 at the age of 83.

 

Who else do you think belongs on the list of the most notorious American criminals of the past 50 years? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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This Horse Doesn’t like Being Ridden, so He Plays Dead Until Riders Go Away

I might not know much at all about horses, but I never imagined they could be total drama queens.

Like this horse, who goes to great, Oscar-worthy lengths to avoid carrying people on his back.

 

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Of course, horses can be irritable. There are plenty of ill-tempered horses who aren’t the best at for riding. But Jingang really takes the cake.

He doesn’t buck or bite when someone gets on his back. Oh no…

Image Credit: Facebook

He just collapses and pretends that he’s died. Because, as everyone knows, you can’t ride a dead horse.

Image Credit: Facebook

Owner Frasisco Zalasar made a video compilation of Jingang avoiding work with his dramatic deaths, and the video has amassed a lot of views.

El caballo que se hace el muerto para que no le montén 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Posted by Frasisco Zalasar on Friday, October 4, 2019

I bet these views and likes spike on Monday mornings, when we can all identify with Jingang.

Image Credit: Facebook

Horses like this one must be how the phrase “horsing around” came to be – they’re quite good at it!

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