Meeting your significant other’s parents is always a bit awkward. You want to make a good impression, but not come off to eager. Most of the time (hopefully), things go smoothly and mom and dad give you the nod of approval.
Sometimes, though, things take a turn for the worse, as these AskReddit users shared with the world.
1. Oh hello!
My mom and current wife met for the first time at 2am in my parents’ living room both wearing no bottoms…
2. Racist?
My whole family met my current boyfriend over Easter dinner. My father doesn’t typically say a word to new people my siblings and I bring home. Randomly during dinner my dad turned to my boyfriend and said, “you a racist?”
3. AWKWARD
Ugh, I was the girlfriend in question. I had come over to my long distance relationship boyfriend’s apartment on the way out of town. I had dressed in a plaid skirt, fishnets, combat boots, and a low cut black tank because I wanted to leave him with a good memory. So he’s got me pinned face first against the wall with my skirt flipped up and when his dad walks in. Apparently he’d come by early to take him to lunch and drop him at his job. I was absolutely mortified during the entire lunch with his dad, dad’s girlfriend, and my boyfriend.
4. Dinner time!
When I brought my first girlfriend home I was too embarrassed to say anything to my parents, so we went directly to my room and started fooling around. Here’s what transpired: My mom opens the door to my bedroom and stopped mid sentence “Hey I was thinking we could have turkey for -” I awkwardly remove my hand from the front of my girlfriends unbuttoned jeans “Oh uhm sorry I didn’t realize you had company” “Yeah this is Caitlin” “Hi Caitlin. Did you want to join us for supper?” “suuuuuuuuuurrree” Then we all had a super awkward dinner together. Fun times.
5. Good first impression
He recounted the story of when he drove home so drunk he lost a tire hitting something, then drove on the rim for at least 4 miles down the interstate. Thankfully he’s sober now, but is that something you want to talk about the first time you meet me?
6. Gloves are off
I never thought I would strike a teenager until I saw a boy smack my daughter’s butt in front of me with impunity.
7. This guy seems legit
I was over at my boyfriend’s family’s house for Easter where we all got together for an Easter egg hunt, dinner, and party games. My boyfriend’s middle sister had recently started seeing a guy she met on eHarmony, who apparently lived in Toronto. She spent the afternoon telling us about him, that he owned a delivery business and a flower shop. My boyfriend’s brother joked that he was a drug dealer for his ‘delivery business’, and we laughed as she tried to defend him.
So he finally drives up in a very expensive car, wearing a t-shirt with arrows pointing to the shoulders and the caption “Place legs here” written across the chest. Everyone started interrogating him, but he was avoidant of everything. I worked in a flower shop for seven years, and he couldn’t name any flowers. Granted his English wasn’t perfect and he was very awkward, but the drug dealer possibility became more likely as time went on.
Afterwards he went full-blown creepy stalker. She broke up with him, since he couldn’t explain anything, and he sent her 40+ text messages trying to get her back. Wrote ‘poems’ about how much it hurt to miss her and said he’d drop by her work. She blocked his number, reported him on eHarmony, and everyone in the family has sworn a pact to immediately call police if we see him anywhere. It was like standing next to a train wreck as it happened.
8. Scum
My boyfriend in high school was a senior at a different school, I was a sophomore. At their school homecoming game it was a tradition for all seniors to dress up in camouflage. So my mom first met him when he was dressed head-to-toe in black and white camouflage and wasn’t aware of the tradition. As he was walking toward us she said, “oh god, no.” And didn’t realize I’d heard her. To be fair, he was pure scum.
9. Drinkopoly!
The first weekend I went to stay with my boyfriend’s parents (I had never met them before) my boyfriend and I played Drinkopoly with some of his friends (like Monopoly, but you drink instead of using money). All was grand, I went to bed a little earlier than everyone else, and bf’s friends left saying “she drinks pretty well for a girl!” He comes up to bed, I proceed to throw up everywhere. On him, on his sheets, on myself.
He then put me in the shower and I apparently screamed random numbers at him and got angry when he didn’t understand. His parents were ridiculously cool about the whole thing; the next day as my boyfriend slept off the trauma I washed puke off his sheets then went with his mum to play with the cats they were soon to adopt. Oh, and then the next day his younger sister walked in on us having sex. Still don’t understand how his family likes me…
10. The Panda Misfits
When I brought my first serious boyfriend home to meet my mom he was wearing a Misfits sweatshirt. My mom, bless her, ignored his dyed mohawk, gaged ears and pierced nose and said that she liked his panda sweatshirt. I laughed so hard I cried. Got to give him credit though, he stuck around for 4 years.
11. Whoa
When my mother was 14, she wanted to date this boy who was 17. But my grandparents wouldn’t let her, because they “just don’t trust him”. My mom argues with her parents, but they stand firm on their decision. Flash forward about 8 years, my mom is happily married. Her parents show her the newspaper, and that boy (grown up now) made the paper: drug-deal gone wrong, armed robbery, double homicide and suicide.
12. Sleazy Teens
My most awkward meeting (I had met her mom briefly once before) of a girlfriend’s parent(s) was 9 years ago when I was 18. I was sitting on her mom’s couch chatting with my girlfriend while we texted each other dirty things. We would pretend to talk about being seniors, looking forward to graduating, etc, but we were really discussing the dirty and raunchy kind of teenage sex that abstinence only education warned you about.
As we texted more I started to get a little excited, nothing I couldn’t control but it felt dangerous and naughty which got the adrenaline flowing. Her mom was in the kitchen the entire time cooking up a meal leaving us to our secret naughty conversation. I told my then girlfriend to put her phone between her legs while it was on vibrate, she did and I called her repeatedly. Watching her get hornier got me hornier, the blood must flow!
Let’s pause for a second and examine this situation, I’m sitting on the couch hard as a rock, she’s sitting next to me with a phone between her legs while I call it repeatedly. What 18 year old guy wouldn’t be aroused? I misjudged one thing, how quickly her mom could prepare an entire meal. Panic time. Her mom walked in the living room to tell us dinner was done, but it had to cool down a bit. She wanted to take this time to get to know me. I had met her once before but only briefly, I’d only said hi to her at this point. She had perched on the arm of the love seat which was at a 90 degree angle to the couch we were sitting on, she sat there like a judging vulture disguised as Bettie Homemaker. Her voice and smile were gentle, but her eyes were fiery and alive like she plucked them from Hannibal Lecter’s head. “Are you excited to graduate?”
“Yes ma’am.”
When I’m nervous I get really polite. “Are you two hungry? I made enough to feed everyone and send john home with plenty of leftovers.”
“Thank you ma’am.” My boner was about to burst through my pants.
“Call me Kathy, or mom if you want to.”
“OK Kathy, I’ll remember that.” “Where are my manners? I almost forgot to mention that we hug in this family.”
Oh, please no. Not now at this exact moment.
“Stand up and give me a hug, mister.” No no no no no! There was no way I have escaped this situation without killing two people and hiding the bodies. I did it. I stood up and hugged this woman.
As soon as it happened I could feel my member press into her, she knew, I knew she knew because she backed away from it, as soon as she did I had an involuntary twitch the for a split second pushed it back into her thigh. We parted from our hug, we both tried to be polite, but the shame had set in. Dinner was awkward, I wolfed down my food without making eye contact with Kathy. I made an excuse to leave after dinner, went home, rubbed one out, and wallowed in shame and embarrassment.
(@lenarios27) November 11, 2019
