Category: Social

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These 15+ Kids Have No Idea How Hilarious They Are

Kids can say some truly hilarious things without even meaning to. I mean sure, sometimes they’re inopportune and inappropriate and we can’t actually laugh at them in the moment, but that doesn’t make them any less funny.

Lucky for you, these 17 kids aren’t yours. So feel free to go ahead and laugh right away.

#17. “We had a local elementary school decorate paper bags for Earth Day, and I found this one leftover.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Complete tragedy that this bag wasn’t featured front and center.

#16. “My friend’s son struggling to pick up a book.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Hey, they can’t all be geniuses.

#15. RULES ARE RULES, KEN.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#14. “I, too, have a daughter going places.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Such a proud moment.

#13. “My friend got her daughter’s basketball team pictures today.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Framers. Every. One.

#12. “When your 3-year-old tells the man at McDonald’s that his pants are falling down.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

He calls ’em like he sees ’em.

#11. “My 11-year-old has started drawing fat, middle-aged Batman at the beach and it’s everything you never knew you needed in life.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

I’m going to need this movie adaptation immediately.

#10. “My daughter has been picking her own clothes and watching her big brother get on the bus.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

This picture is perfection.

#9. “I might need to have a talk with my daughter, but I’m not sure what I’d even say.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Maybe just save yourself.

#8. “Toddler was asked to feed the cat.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

You’re going to need to be more specific.

#7. “This kid was a fart for Halloween.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

First, farts are funny. Second, never squash anyone’s creativity, man.

#6. Welp, we had a good run.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. “At five months old my son already has the best school photo ever.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

How will he ever top this?

#4. “How I find out that my son tried to access my tablet.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

The progression is everything.

#3. “My 7-year-old sister loves dinosaurs, but my parents got her a dollhouse for Christmas. This is what I came home to tonight.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Hey, dinosaurs need homes too.

#2. “My daughter’s Christmas list.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

If you don’t get her a cat after all that, you’ve got no heart.

#1. I’d say call that a parenting win and move on.

Photo Credit: Twitter

I mean…smart kid.

These are almost enough to make me want to have another child. Almost.

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15 People Describe the Scariest Sound They’ve Ever Heard

Noises have the power to terrify us in unexpected ways. Our minds can come up with some truly terrifying images based on sound alone.

These AskReddit users share their personal stories. We dare you not to get freaked out.

1. Poor bunny

“I used to live with my sister during my last teenage years. She had this Holland Flop bunny as her pet. He was a sweetheart that loved to cuddle. One day, I was getting out of the shower and I heard this absolutely blood curdling scream. I wrapped a towel on quickly and dashed into the living room to see what was up. The poor bunny had trapped himself and gotten tangled up in some headphones. I had to calm him down and unwrap him.”

2. Hissing

“I remember when I was in middle school, I was working on a project that involved a poster. I worked on it earlier in the day, leaned it against my bedroom wall, and forgot about it. Later that night, it fell down making a long sliding sound down the wall. Being almost asleep, I thought it sounded like an animal hissing very loud. I don’t think my feet touched the ground on my way out of the room.”

3. Click click

“When I was 7-8 years old, a neighbor gave me one of those large 3′ dolls with realistic hair and blinking eyes with long lashes. I think she also walked if you held her arms.

Went to sleep that night with the doll sitting in my little rocking chair. At some point during the night, I woke up and heard this soft ‘click click’ sound and realized that the doll was sitting there blinking at me. Screamed bloody murder, made my parents put the doll outside the house that night and the next day, give it back to the neighbors.

I still don’t like blinking dolls.”

4. Bomb

“Used to go camping with my parents and grandparents when i was 12.

Sleeping in our caravan 2AM-ish, grandfather wakes us all up screaming “BOMB”, we were all confused and then we hear an explosion, we put on our shoes and right before we get outside we hear another bigger explosion.

The camping has like streets with caravans on both sides lined up, what happened was (we learned this the next day) someone had a short-circuit with his fridge in his caravan and this started a fire that reached the gas canister.

That was the first explosion (and furthest away) that woke my grandfather up, he said he recognized that sound from WW2 and it shot him right out of his bed.

The explosion set fire to the next caravan in line on our street for the 2nd explosion that was closer, it was nearing us.

Repeat for the next in line which was getting close for the final biggest explosion we heard.

Luckily we had taken out the gas canisters immediately and put them further away on the concrete.

Our caravan melted from the heat but the explosions stopped.

Had to talk to cops about what i saw with my parents at like 3-4AM when i was 12, that was a scare and a half for us.”

5. Trash can kitty

“I came home from work a little earlier than usual one day. It was dark in the house and dead silent, except for this weird, rhythmic crinkling sound. I stumbled around the couch to find one of my cats lying on her side with her head buried in a snack size potato chip bag. She was stuck and she was suffocating. I ripped the bag away and saw her foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling around in her head, terrified. She took a deep breath and within seconds was breathing normally again.

We always joked about her being trash can kitty because she would eat pretty much anything, but apparently that day, she’d actually made it into the trash can. We got a can with a lid after that.

I always shudder when I think about that noise and what I would have found if I’d stayed at the office a minute later.”

6. Awful

“I was on the phone with my mom while she got in to a bad car accident. I still remember her screaming. I was at home with a broken ankle at the time. It was horrific and I still think about it today (even though it was months ago).

I’m so grateful she is alive and walked away with only some bad bruising, even though the car was destroyed. I just felt so helpless not being able to do anything in that moment. Thankfully 911 was called immediately.”

7. Ghost

“I went up to stay with my mother after my dad died for a few weeks. She went out to run some errands with my aunt so I was home alone. I hear a familiar sound of my dad getting out of his computer chair upstairs in his bedroom. I hear him walk over to the door, open then close it, walk into the hall and down then up the stairs. He then closed the door.

It scared to hell out of me. I couldn’t move. If that was an encounter with a ghost, I don’t want another one.”

8. Alarms

“Not long after the 2011 earthquake in Japan, I was living Tokyo and was traveling daily on the Japanese metro. Most Japanese residents have a earthquake detector phone app that sends off an alarm approximately 10 sec before you feel the shaking of an earthquake.

I was riding the busy keiyo line that is deep under Tokyo Station in a packed carriage , when the train stops unexpectedly and suddenly every person’s phone on train suddenly starts playing the same alarm.

There was at least one hundred people in my carriage and hearing a chorus of devices suddenly begin to sing in unison of your impending doom while we are around 8 stories underground will be an experience I won’t soon forget.

Thankfully after the alarm, the quake started and wasn’t anything more than a light after shock, but that 10sec wait was intense. No one said a thing, no one panicked and when the shaking stopped the train silently restarted and we continued our journey.”

9. Death rattle

“Doing CPR on my mom’s third husband after finding him on the kitchen floor. I’d just stopped by and walked in on my mom, frantic on the phone with 911.

Blood was coming from his mouth and he had no pulse. He was turning cold. But my mom being an RN for the last million years yelled at me to start chest compressions.

His eyes were vacant, but I slapped him and yelled his name and started explaining that I was going to start compressions. It was something I recalled from class to help keep focused on the task. This was happening. I was in the zone. Hero mode activated. Then I started.

With the first push, blood sprayed from his mouth and he made this raspy sound. By the second or third compression, I felt his ribs break. The sound with every push was nauseating.

I wanted to puke. I wanted to cry.

At some point, a cop walked in. I screamed for help and the officer told me I could stop and that my stepdad was dead.

The scene played over in my dreams for weeks after that, but with variations. He was trapped under ice in one. In another, logs were being sawn nearby. In both, the activity mimicked the raspy cough his body made.”

10. Nightmare

“Sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations.

Scariest ones:

-A conversation between two inhuman sounding men about how they want to kill me. It was hard to wake up from this one.

-An excruciatingly loud scream. It sounds like a mix between a person and some type of animal. Repeating over and over.

-A man laughing, but it’s really loud and starts becoming distorted.”

11. Yikes

“The sound of a person hitting the pavement after falling 11 stories.”

12. Frightening!

“Hedgehogs mating outside my window, ran out with a knife thinking my cat was being murdered.”

13. Dead quiet

“My neighbor has a horse which I fully am ignorant of the existence of 99% of the time. One night it’s dark, I’m walking to my truck. Turn to the door….

And let me elaborate. It’s one of those just dead quiet nights, no noise.

Then the horse did one of those lip flappy exhales.

I’m like oh, yeah, so this is the end of Jake.

Just like that gypsy woman said.”

14. Terrifying

“Sounds outside our bedroom window, like someone muttering to themselves. I convinced my husband it was nothing. We kept hearing it at night. It was terrifying.

Turned out it was a severely mentally ill man squatting on the property adjacent to us. When we called the police to ask what to do, they said, “Oh, yeah, that’s so-and-so. Whatever you do, don’t confront him, he’s very violent. It took six officers to bring him down last time he had an episode!” Then they stood on our porch and yelled at him that ‘these people here are complaining about how loud you are, so keep it down!’ “

15. No thanks!

“Hearing a mountain lion scream/roar in the White Mountains of New Mexico while camping when I was like 13. No thank you!”

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12+ Police Officers Tell Their ‘Calling All Units’ Stories

Day after day, police officers put their lives on the line to protect citizens.

In this AskReddit article, police officers share their most hair-raising “calling all units” stories, so buckle up.

1. Armed robbery

“An armed robbery at the government’s financial institution.

But, unlike the stuff they show in movies, we went in silent, spread around without approaching the premises too close and got all four of them by intercepting their car later on. One of our detectives came in an unmarked car and parked a few cars behind the vehicle with the engine running and the nervous driver behind the wheel and followed them.

We learned about the car thanks to the off-duty officer who was in the right place at the right time to notice the suspicious behavior (the car was parked in an unusual way among everything else that indicated to him that something fishy is going on).

Although, we were lucky in some sense because it took them ages to do what they came to do. Regardless, it all went smoothly and with no casualties.”

2. Natural disaster

“I’ve served as both a probation officer and police officer. There was a natural disaster in the area on a weekend. I got a call from the chief probation officer telling me that we were designated as disaster workers and we were to report for duty. I was an armed field unit officer at the time and when we got into work all the armed officers were told we were going to patrol the disaster area. We were ordered to put on all of our marked clothes and report to an area for patrol.

It was a bit weird as all our cars were unmarked and had no lights. We had radios and cages in the cars but not the other equipment as we normally didn’t need it. The patrolling was fairly uneventful and we didn’t encounter any looters but we put in a number of 13-hour days. The community needed every armed LEO they could get and we did our part.”

3. Three times

“It’s happened three times that I’ve been on duty that I can recall. The first time was a riot at a local theme park, some idiot kids put out that there was going to be a fight in the parking lot and for some reason that meant several hundred high school age kids all gathered in the lot and got into a huge brawl. The first few officers responding got surrounded in the chaos and they put out an officer in trouble, and because of the size of the crowd, they asked for officers from all over the county.

The others were officer down calls where the gunman was still at large.”

4. DUI gone bad

“A police officer here, I’ve heard it over the radio many times but never used it my self. We are issued with a button on our radios that causes all radios to beep and vibrate, so it is instantly noticed by every officer in the area. Most memorable was a regular DUI stop that turned south resulting in the officer being attacked and having his leg broken.

It was towards the end of the shift and most of the officers were finishing up on paperwork at the station. As soon as it went off every officer in the station left within 10 seconds of hearing it. The suspect was quickly detained and arrested soon after.”

5. Riot

“Former cop here. The all-units call was basically a riot at a large nightclub in a very rough area of the neighboring city. Once things were finally calmed down and the dozen or so people were taken away, my boss wanted us all back in our city. I was amazed at not only how many cops showed up but from where….counties and towns I had never heard of before. I looked up a few at the end of shift and some came from an hour plus away.”

6. Stabbed

“We had an all-units call to one of our own stabbed. Everyone went hell for leather to get there, to find one of our guys on the floor with a stab wound to the stomach. We searched everywhere for the suspects and anyone matching the descriptions was arrested. So, it turns out the officer did it to himself.

He’d heard you couldn’t be fired from work if you were injured in the line of duty (he was under investigation for a minor issue, not anything involving the public. Just breach of procedure.) I don’t think I’ve ever been so disgusted with a colleague in my life. All the other “all units” calls I’ve been to have been genuine and luckily my colleagues unhurt.

I almost called one myself when someone pulled out a sawn-off shotgun at me. Luckily that panned out OK!”

7. Wedding brawl

“A large wedding in Brooklyn—it was at midnight, so there weren’t that many units, to begin with. The families started warring with each other and when we arrived they, of course, turned on us. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, was brawling and we felt like Custer at Little Big Horn.

We turned out three cars that night and one of them was out on a homicide so we’re just yelling “Keep ’em coming, Central!” The duty captain (the supervisory officer for the patrol boro) shows up, looks around, sees that this is quickly becoming a riot and calls a citywide 10-13, which means a designated number of cars from every borough task force in the city.”

8. Kidnapping

“When I was working for a small town police department I received a phone call from our chief of police, who was off that day. He said a woman showed up on his front lawn saying she had just escaped from her kidnappers. Long story short she said something about him (her kidnapper) having a gun and threatening to use it if she tried to escape.

Me, being young (20 at the time) and oblivious to what I was actually putting out on the radio, called out to the on-duty officer about the situation. My wording must have been terrible because I received radio messages from county and state police stating they were en route to the chief’s residence. They thought someone had come to our chief of polices home with a gun and was holding him hostage. The best part of this story is I gave the wrong address and all these cop cars from city county and state were blocking off the street one block over.”

9. Sad story

“I recently had an “all available units respond” call for an unresponsive child.

My partner and I have never driven so fast. When we got there, all you could smell was brakes and exhaust fumes from our cruisers.

We entered the house and found the child: a one-year-old boy. We performed CPR. He was transported. He didn’t make it.

It’s hard to be criticized by the media and the general public when these are the things we deal with.”

10. He’s got a blade!

“I’m an officer in a courtroom, so our all-units calls are usually for disruptive spectators (victim and defendant families fighting out arguing) or defendants acting up in front of a judge or whole being taken back to jail. Another courthouse nearby had an incident where a defendant produced a blade from his rectum and tried to slash his lawyer’s throat while in the courtroom. One I was involved in, a guy was a known problem in corrections custody but somehow he got free of them and fought his way into the courtroom I was working in.

It’s the most comforting sight when you make that 10-13 call and in the midst of the fight, you see the small army of uniforms come running in to help.”

11. A stain on the department

“Had an all units call, it was horrifying, turned out an off-duty cop was drinking and driving and hit three cars on a bridge. It was chaos, many things flew out of the car, belongings scattered everywhere. He did time, lost his job obviously, stained the department.”

12. Bomb scare

“Retired cop here. I have more than a few ‘Everyone get here now’ calls in my time. Most stemmed from a large gathering that was starting to turn not so peaceful.

My last major one, we had a bomb that was planted in a car in a parking lot. I needed to clear the lot and the adjacent building. And then it became an attempt to keep folks out of the area. That was a tense 12-hours until the device was blown up.”

13. Idiot on drugs

“A few weeks ago we had an all-units call because an idiot on drugs decided to call 911 and say someone was someone had been shot. As he was on the phone with a dispatcher, someone else calls in that her home is being broken into. Guess who broke into her home while he’s ‘still’ on the phone with 911 saying someone’s been shot.

So an officer arrives and goes in to search for the suspect not knowing at the time it was the guy on the phone with 911. Well, dude runs out, hops in the cop car and tears out! All officers are dispatched along with state police officers. He had a nice joyride and led them on a good chase with a buddy behind him for almost an hour until some state troopers did a maneuver to wreck him when he got on the interstate.”

14. Runner

“I spent 13 months as an officer.

One was during a patrol in the ghetto section, and I spot a car speeding down the street. As soon as I hit my lights, the driver jumps out of the car while it’s in motion and runs into the woods losing a sandal. The car stopped right before hitting a house and figured that another passenger stopped the vehicle, so called for immediate backup and secured it. Turned out to be a notorious dealer with priors, and his ladies snitched when he bailed on them.”

15. Intense

“We had a shooter trying to kill cops. He had several guns on him and he managed to take out a few cops. He ran and hid in the woods traveling around town behind people’s houses for days. Businesses and roads were shut down people were told to stay inside. It was pretty intense.”

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12+ Cases That Still Make Doctors’ Skin Crawl

There’s a reason why those of us with weak stomachs don’t become doctors. They see more blood, gore, and bile in one week than most of us do in a lifetime. But everyone has their limits – even doctors – and sometimes things poke through the patina of professional ability.

If you decide to read through these 15 doctors’ confessions about what still gives them the heebie-jeebies after years of practicing medicine, I hope your stomach is strong.

#15. Absolutely ghastly

“Doctor. Nothing visual/physical really gets to me these days. Smells can be absolutely ghastly. But people’s suffering can be profoundly affecting, both patient’s and families.”

#14. Chilling to the bone

“How cruel people can be. Dealing with disease is one thing, but dealing with victims of any kind of assault, domestic violence or mass tragedy is chilling to the bone.”

#13. I’m taking a bath in bleach

“Patient has Mrsa : skip the gown because we all have it, it’s fine what Evs

Patient has scabies / bed bugs: JeSus fucking Christ where the fuck is my 3rd PPE gown tie, I need 6 gloves and 4 Shoe covers and if they even so much as touch me I’m taking a bath in bleach , I left my phone in the break room because if it fell outa my pocket it will stay there till the end of time .”

#12. There’s something about that open nose

“I work at a maxillofacial surgeons’ department and I’ve seen a lot of procedures which don’t phase me; teeth extractions, upper and lower jaw realignment, traumas of all types (broken jaws, broken orbital sockets, …) oncological procedures, explorations. The lot.

But there’s 1 procedure that makes my gut wrench; rhinoplasties. There’s something about that open nose, and people cutting and prodding around that makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t know why.”

#11. I have to suppress a shudder

“Anesthesiologist here. Blood, gore, and people trying to die on me don’t really phase me much. But when I’m in the eye room and the surgeon sticks a needle into someone’s eyeball I have to suppress a shudder.”

#10. Parasites

“I can handle skin sloughing diseases, gore, and meth head tweeters just fine… But damn, I hate parasites….. bed bugs, scabies, tapeworms (fun fact- you can end up with tapeworm eggs in your brain if you have tapeworms and your hygiene is rank enough).”

#9. Full body skin conditions

“I’m a trauma surgeon so blood and mangled bodies doesn’t really phase me, but full body skin conditions do! Things like eczema herpeticum and Norwegian scabies make me itch all over and really uncomfortable.”

#8. Chopped fingers still get me

“I’ve seen all sorts of disgusting and gory things which uniphase me but for some reason chopped or dismembered fingers still get me.”

#7. The common thing we all hate…

“For me it’s nasty teeth. There are very few things that move me in any way (medicine or otherwise) but daaaamn nasty teeth. I could never ever be a dentist.

My friend works in emergency medicine and can’t stand hand wounds. She’s the toughest, most bad-ass lady I know but hand wounds make her swoon like a medieval maiden.

Among other doctors I know it’s usually skin conditions and burns.

The common thing we all hate is abuse.”

#6. Living where they shouldn’t be

“All the creepy crawlies living where they shouldn’t be. The more slithery the worse it is.

A kid is awoken by intense pain and a scratching sound in the ear? Usually a cockroach – not so bad, but a hassle to remove piecemeal leg by leg if it comes to that.

Some guy is complaining of nasal congestion and some bleeding months after a vacation? Yup, leeches in the nasal cavity. I’m never going swimming in any rivers ever.

Diabetic patient complaining of a non-healing wound behind his ear? I scoop out dozens of maggots from underneath the skin flaps and they’re falling on the patient’s stretcher.

A pregnant patient admitted for delivery is complaining of itching down there after maybe straining a bit too much? An Ascaris roundworm is poking its head out the butt and saying hello.

Always makes me gag when I have to be the one to remove them.”

#5. Botflies are a common theme

“Large Parasites that live in the skin.

I can deal with worms in the organs, or microscopic spiders living in my face pores, but when it comes to scabies or botflies I want to claw my own skin off.”

#4. A big NOPE

“Very little does… I can see blood, guts, death, and very little phases me. But watching any video of somebody breaking a bone gets a big NOPE out of me.”

#3. Suctioning out saliva

“I don’t mind pus, blood, poop, urine. But, for the love of god, I can’t stand saliva. It grosses me out when anesthesia suctions out saliva.”

#2. Phantom itching for hours

“I can’t even see or hear the phrase “Fournier’s Gangrene” without cringing. (Don’t Google image search that at work unless you also work at a hospital.)

Also I reallllly don’t like going into patients’ rooms when they have bedbugs. Even if I gown and glove before heading in and only touch them to do an exam, I will have phantom itching for hours and then change clothes in my garage when I get home because NOPE.”

#1. Unclean nose issues

“My wife has been a family practitioner for 10 years. She says the only thing that really still grosses her out is nasty, unclean nose issues.”

Brb barfing.

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15 Good Guesses as to Which 2010 Songs Will Be Considered Classics by 2030

If the past is any gauge, one can never really tell what songs are going to have staying power. But it’s worth a shot anyways!

So, without further ado, here are 15 predictions.

#15. Seems like a solid list to me.

“Interestingly, Slate just did a series called the New American Songbook that attempts to answer which of the songs of the last 25 years will be considered classics in years to come.

The ones on their short list from 2010 or later are:

Let It Go
Get Lucky
Rolling in the Deep
We Found Love
Hotline Bling
Call Me Maybe
Uptown Funk
Seems like a solid list to me. I’d add “Somebody That I Used to Know,” but otherwise it’s tough to argue.”

#14. Adele.

“Adele – Rolling in the Deep & Someone Like You.”

#13. A long time.

“Gotye – Somebody That I Used to Know

One hit wonder that will last a long time.”

#12. Uptown Funk.

“Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.

Edit: Apparently it’s Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars. I stand corrected.”

#11. Timeless and super catchy.

“Tame Impala – Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

Such a timeless song and super catchy. Wouldn’t be suprised hearing that song still playing in 20 years.”

#10. People will be blasting it.

“M83 – Midnight City

People will be blasting that shit like Toto’s Africa.”

#9. The Kidzbop version.

“Party rock, but the kidzbop version.”

#8. It’s just a good song.

“Daft Punk – Get Lucky

Song was everywhere for a while, and it’s sufficiently unique and catchy to be remembered 17 years post release.

Also it’s just a good song.”

#7. Shaking a**es in 2050.

“Despacito will still be shaking asses in 2050, much less 2030.”

#6. So many thoughts.

“Rolling in the deep

Someone Like You

Sombody i used to know

Get lucky

Midnight City

Royals

All i want

Little Talks

Superhero/ Hall Of Fame

Demons / Radioactive

Firework

Titanium

Take me to church

elastic heart/ chandelier

And some of Kendrick, Post Malone songs

You better add more song in reply..”

#5. At every party, forever.

“Wake me up – Avicii gonna be at every party, forever.”

#4. Surely.

“Surely some of Lady Gaga’s classics.

I’m not quite sure which though!”z

#3. Wedding music.

“Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon will be played at every wedding for the rest of eternity, and IMO that makes it a classic.”

#2. For decades.

“Portugal. the Man – Feel it Still will be on the radio for decades.”

#1. I believe.

“II believe Ed Sheeran’s Perfect and/or Thinking Out Loud will be played at weddings around the world for many, many years to come.

And perhaps Versace on the Floor will be the same for the honeymoon.”

At least we only have to wait 11 more years to see whether they’re correct!

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These 18+ Memes About Parenting Will Tickle the Funnybones of Moms and Dads Everywhere

There are some things that only parents understand, and these 20 memes fall into that category. So, if you are in the process of raising children, sit back with your glass of wine (or beverage of choice) and have a good laugh. You deserve it.

#20. Such a beautiful day.

#19. “What are you doing?” / “WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

#18. Does anyone know where I can get one of those?

#17. Wait, your second kid is supposed to have their own room?

#16. Leaving anywhere, basically.

#15. Introvert nightmare.

#14. They never listen.

#13. How do they do that?

#12. And so it begins.

#11. It is our battle cry.

#10. Basically.

#9. Send wine.

#8. There is nothing more disconcerting, y’all.

#7. If only they understood.

#6. Do you want to die?

#5. No one can make you raise your hand, people.

#4. No words necessary.

#3. Wait for it…

#2. Just don’t.

#1. What?

Cheers!

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12+ Things You Definitely Should NOT Do If You Win the Lottery

There is plenty of advice online about what you should do if you win a big jackpot, but equally important, if not more so, is what you shouldn’t do. Well, have no fear, because the internet has some ideas.

Listen up!

#15. Go to a casino.

“Go to a casino and blow all the money away.”

#14. Out of the woodwork.

“Do not go public with it and have an attorney set up something for your winnings where people won’t know about it.

You’ll have people coming out of the woodwork for a handout otherwise.”

#13. Try to win more.

“Spend it all on lottery tickets to try and win more.”

#12. A lawyer and a CPA.

“Do not tell anyone, except a lawyer and a CPA. Hell, I wouldn’t even tell the lawyer and the CPA that you won the lotto at first. Just tell them that you’re coming into a lot of money and need some help getting it situated properly.

Do not tell your friends, don’t tell your parents, don’t tell your kids… hell don’t even tell your spouse unless they’re watching the draw with you and find out that you won at the same time.

DO get your lawyer and your accountant to setup a trust and all the necessary accounts so that you can claim the money anonymously, and live comfortably off the interest for the rest of your life.

DO take up a hobby. You never have to work another day in your life, so pick something that sounds fun. Maybe whittling, or pie making. Whatever makes you happy.”

#11. The upkeep cost.

“Thought I’d add a different answer here to the usual ones. Do NOT forget the upkeep cost. The biggest reason why lottery winners end up broke again is they forget about the running cost of their purchases.

Two great examples are cars and houses:

The larger the house, at least in the UK, the bigger the council tax you have to pay which can get quite large for large houses. People just think that “ooo buy a big house and rent is free forever” forgetting that yearly charge of thousands for that very large house which adds up to maybe 20-40k alone in a decade or two.

Cars are more obvious, you get an expensive and fancy car. For starters you’ve just lost thousands as you’ve added a new owner. Then you have to tax it and that’s more than normal now. Then you have to insure it and oooo guess what that fancy sports car you just got, that’s a lot of insurance. Then spare parts are far more expensive as it’s a rarer model than a regular car. It gets no miles to the gallon so you’re always filling it up. Once again yes you brought it but you’re now paying probably thousands per year in upkeep.

So congrats, you spent all the money and thought you set yourself up for life right? Apart from the fact that those two things alone may well end up costing you maybe 30-60k over the next 10-20 years and you already spent everything so you sell the house and car (at considerable loss) and buy a smaller house and car….

BUT they need upkeep as well.

So you sell them and downsize again…

and again…and yo’re working 9-5 to keep your 1 bedroom flat just about ticking over well past retirement because you didn’t work for 10-20 years so you have almost zero retirement funds earn’t so you have to work until death.”

#10. Don’t do any of that.

“My uncle won $9m from the lottery. He bought a large piece of land in Ahmish country, built a mansion on it, bought a bunch of toys (boats, atv’s, etc.), and adopted a kid. A bunch of my shitbag extended family moved to where he lived in Maine and began asking him for money.

2 years later he ran out of money, divorced his spouse, and pawned the kid off to my mother who, out of love and pity, raised him.

So don’t do any of that i guess!

Edit: No I’m not the kid!”

#9. Best case/Worst case.

“Do not fill a swimming pool with gold coins and gems and try to swim around in it Scrooge McDuck style. Best case, you’re just going to roll around on a big pile of coins. Worst case involves a diving board and broken skeleton.”

#8. Don’t trust it.

“Let people guilt trip you into giving them money. Everyone has a sad story that’ll break your heart and make you feel bad. As sad as it is, don’t trust it…ever. Money makes people greedy. Greedy people do whatever they want to get what they think they need.”

#7. Start your life over.

“I would have no problem not telling anyone, I’m a private person as is and I’m not someone who likes to have attention. Keeping my spouse reigned in is a whole other story, she would have an incredibly difficult time keeping quiet. I would go out of my way to not tell anyone for a long time, possibly even years if I was able to pull it off, but realistically I don’t think that’s possible with a large jackpot. You’re going to make major life changes, even if you are someone who isn’t flashy, it’s going to be hard to not raise suspicion.

With a jackpot as large as the current one is, it will not be possible to keep your life as it is, that is a level of money that will require you to relocate in a major way, likely multiple times over the next few years. I actually feel like that type of money could possibly require you to change personal details about yourself, I just don’t think you could escape the constant outside pressure otherwise. You would also have to be prepared to permanently destroy multiple relationships in your life, money brings out the worst in people, family you were close with, friends, and former co-workers are going to look at you differently. There’s going to be jealousy, resentment and anger directed towards you. I almost feel like you would have to essentially start your life over.”

#6. New cars.

“Buy new cars all the time.

I live in a rural city in Canada.

Maybe 6-8 years ago a local woman won $12 million in the Lotto 649. She went from your regular car to $80,000 Mercedes- Benz’s and Jeep Grand Cherokee Summit’s every year for her, her husband and her son.

Fast forward to last year. I’m the GM of a Car Rental agency. Her kid is 19 and thus unable to rent or even drive a rental car. They keep demanding I allow him to drive, I keep telling them no he can’t going so far as to show them how the computer system with automatically blank out his license.

They flip their shit all entitled and what not. Typical ‘Can I speak to your manager?!” haircut and all.

I find out later than the $12 million is gone. All of it. Disappeared. I found out through contacts at several dealers that they had purchased almost 20 vehicles in 6-8 years, getting hosed on the trade in value almost every time. The vehicles didn’t account for all $12 million, but it certainly accounted of a large portion of it.”

#5. Protect your identity.

“Sign your name. If you want to open a trust you need to make the trust and then have the trust sign it, this can then protect your identity because most states require you to publish your name.”

#4. Never really the “work hard” kind of guy.

“Have a pretty horrifying family story that exemplifies exactly why you should NOT do this.

Edit : Didn’t mean to be a cryptic jerk. And the story isn’t great of course – just pretty awful for us. It just struck a nerve seeing this thread and remembering all the crap.

My father was never really the “work hard” kind of guy. If someone could give it to him or make it easier, he was all for it. Growing up, I remember mom fighting for us to get something new occasionally, but he’d almost always yell and complain about the cost while also not willing to work much. I now know there were some complicating and difficult things he experienced when he was younger that likely partly contributed to this, but hindsight and all that.

He also was abusive to me, my siblings and our mom. After a rough divorce and all us kids left the house, he became more and more of a hermit. He started playing the lottery, and whenever we’d see him he’d talk about it all the time. He also became a hoarder at home and nothing anyone could do or say would convince him to let us help, even a little. Two of my siblings showed up at his place unannounced and he came out of the house with a shotgun. So, we ended up not visiting him at our old house – we’d meet at a gas station where we learned he’d been at all night, buying lottery tickets by the handful.

He won – big several times, at least big to him – not millions I don’t think but a lot. H€ll we don’t even know how much he won. He’d tell us he won “something” every once in a while, had to talk to the lottery commission or whomever they were. But he became obsessed with winning more…and more and more. Bought thousands of tickets, literally. For years. He asked all of us siblings for money for this towards the end, and by now we realized at least a part of his addiction. But he refused help and got incredibly mean and agitated whenever we’d bring it up. We felt guilty and knew he needed help but didn’t know what to do honestly.

So, when we hadn’t heard from him for a while after trying to check in, we called the authorities and asked them to do a wellness check. He’d been dead a while, and they had to have a team of people try to remove him, with a few saying it was the worst situation of that kind they’d seen. When we all met up to try and deal with things, we cleaned out the car he was leasing and filled 4 hefty yard waste garbage bags full of tickets out of his car alone. The house and barn were worse. We don’t know final tallies, but we know he lost way more than he ever won.

We do have some good memories – we know he tried at times, and we know we weren’t the easiest kids to deal with. But once the lottery addiction took hold…I don’t know, he just changed even more for the worse.

Please, please, if you know of anyone close to you who develops a gambling addiction or hoarding, PLEASE do all you can to help. At times I wonder if we really did all we could, and I don’t wish that on anyone.”

#3. Because that’s my idea.

“Do NOT buy a M1A2 Abrams tank and use it as your daily commuter vehicle with the thought that it would prevent tailgating and/or people cutting you off on the highway….because that’s My idea.”

#2. Happened where I live.

“Blow the whole 6 million on drugs and then burn your house down to claim the insurance so you can buy more drugs.

Happened where I live about ten years ago. Highly recommend not following that course of action.”

#1. People get killed.

“Don’t tell anybody. People get killed over that stuff. Get an attorney get a new phone number and don’t give it to anybody. Also stay off Facebook”

And you know, call me if you win big are feeling generous.

The post 12+ Things You Definitely Should NOT Do If You Win the Lottery appeared first on UberFacts.

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Gamers Reveal The 12+ Games They Want Remastered

Gaming has finally reached a point where there are older games completely deserving of a remaster. Perhaps the technology wasn’t quite there at the time it was released, or maybe the only console you can play it on has been out of production for years. No matter the reason, gamers are looking for any excuse to visit the best games from their youth. Below are 15 that these serious gamers wish would come back after a revamp.

#15. Just a graphic update.

“Battle for Middle Earth games. Both. Don’t change everything just a Graphic update. Sad thing this will never happen, those games are no longer supported and you can only play a pirate version of them. I would love to see them suported in a gaming platform like Steam, Origin or whatever…”

#14. All it really needs.

“The original Star Wars Battlefront 2. All it REALLY needs is better ai behavior and scripting.”

#13. The franchise roots.

“I’d love to play the original Deus Ex in the engine of Mankind Divided.

Human Revolution is such an excellent game and it’s always made me want to experience the franchise’ roots.”

#12. Two picks.

“1st pick: Legends of Dragoon

2nd pick: Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits.”

#11. A bit clunky.

“MediEvil

This hack n’ slash epic had an anarchic sense of humor and was billed as the spiritual sequel to Ghosts n’ Goblins with a Tim Burton-esque aesthetic to it. You play the skeletal Dan Fortesque, a failed hero of an ancient kingdom, who is brought back to life by powerful sorcery and is now out to rightfully become a hero. It was beautiful and fun but the camera angles were a mess and controls were sometimes a bit clunky.”

#10. Please. 

“Burnout 3 takedown.

Ffs gimme, and on pc too this time please.”

#9. Imagine those sprites.

“Super Mario RPG

Imagine those sprites at high resolution.”

#8. A whole other level of experience.

“Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines. Seriously, it’s a whole other level of experience. I know nostalgia plays a huge part and all that, but I think a remaster with just a few quality of life adjustments would give this game the chance to shine. I wish a remake would be announced someday, but I really don’t know what’s up with the rights and all that.”

#7. In VR.

“Black & white. In VR. Let me use my actual hand to pick up people (and throw them around) and cast spells by tracing shapes.

The dream.”

#6. Perfect the way it is.

“Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Hand-drawn HD sprites and backgrounds. 4k/widescreen support. Weapon/equipment/enemy collection and gallery. Restored content from Sega Saturn version.

Soundtrack to remain untouched, though. It is perfect the way it is.”

#5. I was so sad.

“Kotor 1&2

https://kotaku.com/star-wars-kotor-fan-remake-shutting-down-after-cease-a-1829720602

I was so sad.”

#4. Best Star Wars game ever made.

“Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy.

Best Star Wars game ever made.”

#3. A proper Thief game.

“Thief 1 & 2. I’d play the hell out of those, and no one seems to be able to do a proper Thief game now.”

#2. Compared to today.

“Timesplitters: Futures perfect. The controls are just bad compared to today. Like that is all they need to fix.”

#1. Overhauled completely.

“I’d like a Goldeneye remake, not remaster as the controls and mechanics need overhauled completely.”

Which would you add to the list?

The post Gamers Reveal The 12+ Games They Want Remastered appeared first on UberFacts.

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These 7 Facts About a Variety of Topics are Absolutely Fascinating

Bob Ross, a house modeled after a famous TV show, and the origin of the word “dude.” These are just a few things you’ll learn in this wonderful fact set.

Read on and fill up that brain of yours with some sweet facts!

1. Duuuuuude…

Photo Credit: did you know?

2. I’d live here

Photo Credit: did you know?

3. Age gaps

Photo Credit: did you know?

4. Sacrifice

Photo Credit: did you know?

5. Bob was the best

Photo Credit: did you know?

6. Spy cats

Photo Credit: did you know?

7. Brilliant

Photo Credit: did you know?

The post These 7 Facts About a Variety of Topics are Absolutely Fascinating appeared first on UberFacts.