It takes a lot to be crowned one of the funniest parents on the internet on any given week, because I’ve gotta say, there are a lot of funny parents out there. That’s why I think people kind of pass the title of “funniest” around by the week, don’t you?
If that’s true, these 13 parents are definitely the winners this week, because these tweets made me laugh out loud!
13. We’re not allowed to go to the store.
Seems like the perfect excuse to me.
My son turned 8 yesterday. I'm killin' it at this parenting thing. pic.twitter.com/mGtCHLULE1
— Christina Crawford (@Xtina_Crawford) January 27, 2021
12. It’s almost like they’ve been planning this the entire time.
The torture never ends, my friends.
after 10 months out of school, the very first day of in-person learning, what do they do? after everything I’ve been through. they give my son a recorder to take home.
— Sweatpants Cher
(@House_Feminist) January 27, 2021
11. That only works if you lick them.
Ask any dad anywhere.
Unlocked the next level of being a dad, by removing and putting back the same batteries to get a dead remote working
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 26, 2021
10. You can’t have it all.
Or any of it, on some days.
is my house clean and tidy and laundry folded neatly and meals prepped for the week?
no.
but am i less stressed and making fun memories with my kids who are playing nicely?
also no.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 24, 2021
9. Nothing is as mean as that.
Or as scary, either.
You can’t make me cry; you’re not my daughter’s 2nd grade math homework.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 28, 2021
8. Tensions are running high everywhere.
You’d better just follow instructions.
Our kids’ hide and seek game has elevated to another level today. pic.twitter.com/furfRDtKKs
— Nick Sumida (@nsumida) January 25, 2021
7. Because they know you won’t do anything about it.
Go ahead. Prove them wrong.
As a mother my favorite pastime is having my performance critiqued by people who depend on me for their survival
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 27, 2021
6. The robots can read our minds.
I think they’ve been talking to Alexa.
My autocorrect just changed daughter to disaster and I’ve never been more paranoid that my smart phone could read my mind.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) January 27, 2021
5. Think of it as the extra workout you didn’t want.
But that you probably needed.
Me: “Bunk beds would be perfect in the boys’ room.”
Also me, trying to put a fitted sheet on the top bunk: pic.twitter.com/Fs2blqWFNq
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 27, 2021
4. This is a parenting protip if I’ve ever seen one.
Definitely trying this like, right now.
I've convinced my kids that they can hypnotize me to fall asleep when I'm chasing them and it's their new favorite game. I'll literally lay down for a 10-minute nap in the hallway and they won't bug me because it "breaks their spell." It's my greatest win as a parent thus far.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 27, 2021
3. I dream of this day.
The one where it doesn’t take me longer to get kids out into the snow than they actually spend in the snow.
I know there are parents out there who are struggling right now, but don’t worry – your toddler will be able to put their stupid gloves on all by themselves one day
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 23, 2021
2. Someone who was tired of gray.
Surely there are more colors not associated with private parts?
I’d really like to speak to whoever in the baby world who all got together and decided to make this horrible shade of chartreuse a neutral.
— Emily Favreau (@emilyfavreau) January 27, 2021
1. Hey, we’re all entertaining ourselves how we can these days.
I bet the kid didn’t think it was funny, which makes it even funnier.
My son gagging on the air trying to do a distance learning PE class workout next to the room where his sister is having her diaper changed is the funniest thing I’ll see all week.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) January 25, 2021
One day maybe I’ll be funny enough to make a list like this (that someone else writes).
What’s your favorite parenting account to follow on Twitter? Share the wealth in the comments!
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