Enjoy These Times When Kids Renamed Everyday Items Perfectly

Kids have a certain way of hitting things right on the head, and sometimes they come up with words for objects that are way more apropos than the original.

Like these 19 times.

Honestly, you’re not going to be able to argue.

19. It matters not what time of year you see them.

18. Just don’t call it that when you’re talking to the dog.

17. I only go slowing.

16. That’s…poetic?

15. Bed skins wtf.

14. Even Rhinos will love this idea.

13. It makes perfect sense.

12. Well, why wouldn’t it?

Image Credit: Twitter

11. That’s exactly what it looks like!

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Like a flamingo, but evil.

9. Morbid, but not inaccurate.

8. Daddy needs to mow.

7. Always trying to dress up a fart.

6. That’s what Dr. Seuss would call it!

5. My kid says “last day.”

4. Pockets for cheese are okay by me!

3. If only that were a job, kid.

2. They might party in a way some animals don’t like, but…

1. I think that’s close to what they’re called in German.

It’s obviously time to let kids start naming everything!

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People Share Funny Self-Deprecating Jokes

Once in a while, you gotta take one for the team, as the saying goes.

And by that, I mean you have to make fun of yourself sometimes to get a good round of laughs. Maybe even humiliate yourself.

That’s exactly what these people did.

And we thank them…

1. Not that it’s benefiting me, exactly…

2. Go ahead and stop.

Highly relatable from suicidebywords

3. Not at all.

4. Me, too!

5. That about does it.

6. Here, here!

This suicide haunts me from suicidebywords

7. Just slowly fade away…

8. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

9. Just take a look.

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. Let’s dumb it down.

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. Not exactly thriving.

Photo Credit: Reddit

12. Already living it.

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. No chance of being found there.

Photo Credit: Reddit

14. No messages to speak of.

Photo Credit: Reddit

15. Photographic memory.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Put yourself down once in a while. In a fun way, I mean!

It’s good for you!

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Desperate Ways That Celebrities Have Tried to Stay Relevant

We live in the age of social media “influencers,” and it’s pretty easy for celebrities to figure out a way to make some extra cash off of their fame. If their initial careers peter out, there are plenty of solid back-up options.

And also, plenty of not so solid back-up options. Over the years, celebrities have resorted to all kinds of wacky antics to hold onto their dying fame.

On AskReddit, users shared the most desperate bid for fame that they’ve ever witnessed from fading celebrities. These stories are pretty bleak!

1. Remix albums.

“Vanilla ice putting out an album 5 years ago with 5 different versions of Ice Ice Baby.”

“He played at my college to promote that album.”

2. Infomercials.

“Infomercials. My favorite is Montell Williams selling blenders with special guest star Silvia Browne.”

“Shaq’s icy hot commercials are pretty funny.”

“Kevin Bacon’s commercials in the UK for EE. Impossible not to cringe every time they come on TV.”

3. Phone sex operator.

“When Octomom became a phone sex operator and did porn.”

“Lest we forget the time she ‘guest starred”‘on MTV’s Silent Library. She laid back on a gyno table with her feet in the stirrups and ‘shot’ plastic baby dolls at the contestants from her vag.”

4. Stage-bombing.

“Lil Mama getting on the stage when Jay-z & Alicia Keys were performing. Oh God!”

5. Under-attended concerts.

“Aaron Carter just performed a concert in my town for a crowd of a whopping fifty people.”

6. Farfetched lawsuits.

“Lindsey Lohan apparently suing Rockstar because of stuff in GTA 5. Claiming that they are using her as an image or something stupid.”

“Will.i.am suing Pharrell for saying “I am” in a song.”

7. Fake relationships.

“Farrah Abraham faking a relationship with James Deen.

8. Reality shows.

“When any “celebrity” does a “celebrity” reality show (ie Celebrity Diving Challenge, Dancing with the Stars, Celebrity Fit Club, Celebrity Rehab). It’s just so embarrassing.”

“David Hasselhoff’s reality show. Basically every reality show.”

9. Random sitcoms.

“Kristie Alley always seems to show up in a terrible new sitcom/commercial every other year. Just stop it already!”

“This most recent one seems exceedingly desperate. Especially with Michael Richards playing a seemingly Kramer type character and Rhea Perlman who hasn’t been seen since her divorce.”

10. Selling their stories.

“Mine would be seeing Lindsey lohan sell out her “recovery story” to Oprah.”

11. Talk shows.

“I think the Sarah Palin show. I live in Alaska and that shit was just embarrassing for this state.”

12. All things Kardashian.

“Anything anyone with the name Kardashian does.”

“If you really think about it, they were just a little bit famous because the Robert Kardashian (the dad) was OJ Simpson’s lawyer. Kim kept that fame by sleeping with Ray J, who was also clinging to fame behind his older sister Brandy. So really, the first thing Kim did in her career was something desperate to stay relevant.”

13. Plotting with paparazzi.

“I’ve read that Jennifer Love Hewitt will personally call some of the paparazzi, but act like it’s an anonymous call, to let them know where she will be so they can show up and photographer her.”

14. American Idol.

“Becoming a “judge” on American Idol.

Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Paula Abdul. People we haven’t heard anything out of in years join the show and release more shitty music.”

15. Sex tapes.

“Dustin Diamond aka Screech doing a sex tape and having a rap career, probably.”

“The Chyna sex tape is right up there.”

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These Tweets Might Just Turn Your Frown Upside down

We all need a little help now and then, and even though I am in no way encouraging you to smile if you don’t feel like it or telling you that you owe one single person a smile (you don’t), if YOU feel like you could use a laugh, well….here you go.

I’m just going to set these 13 tweets full of wholesome goodness right here and let you enjoy at your will.

13. Let me think. No.

12. This is your daily PSA about drinking too much and why it’s bad but also can be amusing.

11. Ladies, you know what he really wants.

10. Nothing to see here but AWWWW.

9. I don’t know about you, but I can relate to this.

8. When you’re just too good at making breakup playlists.

7. A George Costanza for the modern age. #doaleavebehind

6. “Dork a** losers” is officially my go-to now.

5. He identifies with Parker’s grandpa so much.

4. I think about this when I hand out papers but I still do it because THEY STICK OKAY.

3. I think this is Dakota’s official statement.

2. Pardon me I may have been mistaken.

1. It’s the decimal points that make the tweet.

Now that’s what I’m talking about – A+, internet!

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Man Steals Electric Shopping Cart from Walmart and Drives It from Bar to Bar

Many of us have done some pretty stupid things when we’ve had too much to drink, but, if we’re lucky, we don’t get caught – and it definitely doesn’t become national news.

That’s not what happened to this guy.

Also, side note: if Bill Murray can drive around the streets of Stockholm in a golf cart, why can’t this guy have a little fun?

For the record, we don’t condone drinking and driving any kind of vehicle…but this is still kind of a hilarious story.

A man in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana, stole an electric shopping cart from a Walmart and proceeded to drive it from bar to bar. The man, Brice Kendell Williams, 32, said he did it because he didn’t want to get a DUI, though he still ended up being charged with a felony for “Unauthorized use of a moveable.”

Someone at a bar in Houma, Louisiana, reported to police that a man had arrived there on a motorized shopping cart after midnight. Police arrived at the bar and found the cart parked between cars in the parking lot. After he was arrested, Kendell told police that he had been at another bar earlier when he decided to steal the cart so he (hopefully) wouldn’t get a DUI.

Captian America

I mean, why would a motorized cart from Walmart draw any attention if someone drove it up and parked it at a bar, right?

Kendell’s bond was set at $2,500.

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Running Once a Week Is Linked to a Decrease in the Risk of Early Death

This is excellent news for all you runners out there. And for those who don’t incorporate running as part of your regular routine, this might make you dig out your jogging shoes and hit the gym or the track pretty soon.

A study from the British Journal of Sports Medicine compiled data from 232,149 people whose habits were tracked for between 5.5 and 35 years. The researchers found that those who ran had a 27% lower risk of death than people who didn’t run.

Tp be clear, the study doesn’t guarantee that being a regular runner will lower your risk of early death, but it shows that there is definitely a link between the two.

Running with Sue

The results of the study also suggest that you don’t need to be an extremely dedicated runner to get some of the health benefits, either. Researchers found that people who run less than 50 minutes per week, only once a week, or at speeds below 6 mph had similar results as intense runners re: early death rates. Non-runners did not.

Željko Pedišić, a co-author of the study, said, “This finding may be motivating for those who cannot invest a lot of time in exercise, but it should definitely not discourage those who already engage in higher amounts of running.”

Jogging 2010

So if you’re not a serious runner, or your schedule of work, family, kids, etc. doesn’t allow for you to run every day, at least consider getting out for one long jog a week or a few shorter jaunts.

Pedišić says that this also might help with your blood pressure, cholesterol, and keeping cancer and cardiovascular disease at bay.

Get out there and start running!

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A Guy Pranked San Francisco by Placing Airpod Stickers All over Town

AirPods aren’t cheap and everybody wants a pair of them. Also, if you do own a pair, you know by now that you can lose them at any moment. It’s kind of like owning a pair of earrings or a wedding ring that you regularly take off and put somewhere random.

Some funny fellow took advantage of the AirPods phenomenon and decided to pull a prank…on the entire city of San Francisco. A guy named Pablo Rochat printed up life-sized AirPod stickers and stuck them on the ground all over San Francisco.

They look very realistic, so you know that people who saw these on the ground either thought to themselves, “Shit, I just dropped an AirPod”, or “Awesome, someone else dropped their AirPod and now it’s MINE.”

Rochat said, “I often see people drop their AirPods, so I thought it would be funny to make it look like people are dropping their AirPods all over the city and see if people would try to pick them up.”

Rochat added, “That’s the best part. I love putting AirPod stickers on the ground and standing back to see people try to pick them up. Some people are amused by it, but a few have been angry that they were pranked. Joke’s on them!”

Here’s the best part: if you want to try this out in your hometown, Rochat tweeted out the free template for the AirPod stickers so we can all get in on the action. I’m know what I’m gonna do this weekend…I hope I don’t get beat up…again.

LOLzzzzzzzzz.

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A Judge Who Once Sentenced a Man to Prison Swore Him in as an Attorney

It was twenty years ago when Hillsdale County Circuit Court Judge Michael Smith sentenced Robert VanSumeren to 70-240 months in prison for robbery. This November, Smith showed everyone the meaning of a second chance by swearing in the 40-year-old as the county’s 169th attorney.

Joined by his wife, Dana, his two sons, and his sponsor, Marie Reimers, VanSumeren has officially completed his unbelievable redemption story, which began on the wrong side of Judge Smith’s courtroom all the way back in 1999. After his parents split up during his teenage years, VanSumeren turned to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pain. Unfortunately, those vices led to same damaging decisions, including robbing a gas station with a BB gun. Following an unarmed bank robbery, VanSumeren found himself in front of Judge Smith, who sent the newly convicted felon to prison.

Spending six years behind bars taught VanSumeren a valuable lesson and inspired him to turn his life around. Upon his release in 2005, the formerly troubled teen showed he would not squander a second chance at success. VanSumeren studied hard and earned a bachelors degree from Western Michigan University in 2006 before finishing up his masters in 2009. Yet, that wasn’t enough for the former inmate.

“Even as I started working on my bachelor’s and master’s in humanities, law kept floating back through my mind, but the obstacle was I didn’t know if I could make it,” he said.

In 2015, VanSumeren began his law degree at Wayne State University. While enrolled, he ironically learned from the same federal prosecutors and former judges who he detested back in his teenage years. Despite self-doubt about whether he should be open about his past, the father of two came to realize that he had to embrace all aspects of his story in order to move forward in his quest to become an attorney.

“In the community of people who have had legal troubles but have gone on to be professionals, there’s a debate about whether to disclose or not to disclose, to kind of go on with your life or talk about it,” he said. “I’ve chosen to talk about it and tell my story, and when people find out they’ve generally been very supportive.”

VanSumeren earned his law degree in early 2018 before passing the bar exam in July of that same year. However, he still had another significant hurdle to pass: getting the approval of the Character and Fitness Committee. After a lengthy process, the committee gave its blessing and recommended VanSumeren for approval to join the State Bar of Michigan.

His journey from inmate to attorney would not have been possible without the support of Reimers. Now a staff attorney at Lakeshore Legal Aid, Reimers befriended VanSumeren during their first year of law school. She commends her former classmate for his perseverance and believes he is a great example for others to follow.

“It takes a lot of courage to go to law school and pass the bar exam knowing that there’s something in your past from when you were 19 that might keep you from becoming an attorney,” she said. “I’m just so proud of him.”

Judge Smith echoed Reimers’ sentiments for Hillsdale County’s newest attorney, stating that VanSumeren should be commended for his turnaround. That reaction is obviously rare in any courthouse, so let this case show you that it is never too late to write a redemption story.

Case closed.

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Man Creates Wintertime Shelters for Stray Cats out of Discarded Coolers

This is a great story.

Philip Rogich is a man we should all take a lesson from. The resident of Ogden, Utah, has taken it upon himself to look out for some of his town’s feral and stray critters this winter, which looks like it’s going to be a long and cold one.

Rogich takes discarded coolers that would have ended up in the trash and makes them into shelters for stray and feral kitties so they have a place to avoid the cold, harsh winter.

Posted by Batman of Ogden on Saturday, November 16, 2019

Rogich said, “Normally the cooler keeps things cold. We’re going to use it to keep animals warm. I actually have a 6-inch drill bit and then once you drill the hole you just use some pipe insulation to pad it. Everybody’s got a cooler in their garage that they’re not using.”

Rogich added that he uses straw inside the coolers because it dries relatively easily and that a regular cooler can hold up to three cats if they’re in the mood to snuggle.

Posted by Batman of Ogden on Saturday, November 16, 2019

Rogich said that he’s placed a few of the cat coolers around his town because “[Feral cats] just disappear, get overlooked. They get cold in the wintertime too. They’re living creatures…to me, living creatures, they deserve to have their basic needs met.”

Amen to that.

Productive Cat cooler day. Built 13 shelters all will be out by the end of the day. Took in 10 old coolers with 10…

Posted by Batman of Ogden on Thursday, November 14, 2019

Since the story of Rogich’s work gained popularity in the media, people have been donating old coolers and straw to him. If you want to get in touch with Rogich or donate supplies to him, you can reach out to him through his Facebook page.

Keep up the great work! Let’s do our best to help out all the cold and lonely animals that will be out on the streets this winter.

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The First Makeup Museum in the World Will Open in New York City in 2020

Because there’s basically a museum dedicated to everything these days, it makes sense that a museum dedicated to makeup should exist, too. And, frankly, it is sure to get some folks pretty excited.

In May 2020, the Makeup Museum is set to open in New York City. The museum is dedicated to telling the story of the impact that makeup has had on society, and the first exhibit will be called “Pink Jungle: 1950s Makeup in America.” This first installation will highlight the icons, entrepreneurs, and artifacts that defined that fascinating decade.

 

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Co-founder Doreen Bloch said,

“The Makeup Museum is a critical institution for the cultural landscape in New York because makeup has a 10,000-year history. There is so much that the Makeup Museum wants and has to explore. The 1950s is a perfect time period for the Makeup Museum to start within the debut exhibition because the 1950s is the birth of the modern cosmetics industry.”

Posted by Makeup Museum on Tuesday, July 16, 2019

The museum’s Facebook page talks about the mission of the organization:

“The Makeup Museum is the world’s leading institution exploring the history of beauty and its ongoing impact on society. The Makeup Museum is dedicated to empowering all people to learn about and have fun with beauty. The Makeup Museum brings beauty to life through large-scale exhibits, events, and interactive and shoppable programming.”

The museum will be located at 94 Gansevoort Street in New York City.

What do you think? Are you going to check this out when it opens next year? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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