Enjoy These Hilarious Tweets About the Trials and Tribulations of Potty Training

It can break the will of the strongest of parents, pushing them to their absolute limits.

I’m talking about potty training.

Have you been there? Maybe you’ve even been there multiple times?

If so, these tweets might bring back some painful memories…

1. Oh, no!

5-year-old: *walks in holding the toddler's training potty* She peed! She peed!

Me: It's empty.

5: Well, it was full.

Oh, God.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 12, 2018

2. Proud of you.

You know we are potty training because every time I pee, my toddler screams, 'YOU PEED ON THE POTTY? I'M SO PROUD OF YOU MUMMA!'

— Court (@Discourt) August 1, 2014

3. We all need a theme song.

“Let It Go,” is a pretty great to sing to your child as a potty training song

— dadpression (@Dadpression) August 30, 2016

4. Might be in your 20s…

Me: *to my 3-year-old* I'll have you potty trained by preschool

[a full day of training later]

Me: I'll have you potty trained by college

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 8, 2017

5. Vicious cycle.

Potty-training 1st kid: reward chart, underwear, sitting on potty regularly.

Potty-training subsequent kids: keep them in diapers. Repeatedly sigh and say, "We should probably potty train you, huh?"

— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) January 17, 2018

6. You made it!

Potty training my kid, and I just made up a cheer with the word POOP in it. Burning my college degree later today.

— Carrie On, Y'all (@CarrieOnYall) April 12, 2016

7. Isn’t this great?

Joys of potty training: your toddler pointing at your lady parts, contorting her upper lip into a scowl and going, "Eeyuuuuck!"

— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) January 20, 2011

8. I think a lot of parents feel this way.

Some call it potty training but I’m pretty sure my kid is reviewing restaurant bathrooms for Yelp.

— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) July 27, 2017

9. Let’s do it in order.

My 2-year-old knows the steps of potty training

But not the order

She pulls down her pants

Then walks across the house to find a bathroom

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 28, 2016

10. Going great!

Today alone 2yo has peed in a bag of popcorn,a toy boat, &on my bare toes- but not in his underwear, so sure, potty training is going well.

— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) June 14, 2016

11. Break out the pee socks.

If you don't know what pee socks are, you're probably not potty training a toddler.

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) January 11, 2017

12. Just do it!

Whoever invented the phrase "shit or get off the pot" clearly was in the midst of potty training. God DAMN, kid.

— Linda (@Sundry) January 10, 2011

13. Treat yourself.

Bought the kiddo a bag of M&Ms for potty training purposes. So far I've consumed three handfuls. What? *I* went potty.

— Jill Krause (@babyrabies) February 1, 2010

14. That’s kind of weird.

Me: Gotta potty train but not sure how to start.
My Mom: There are videos you can watch.
Me: [stunned silence]
Mom: Hello?
Me: OKAY PERVERT.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 6, 2012

15. Who’s in charge here?

I gave my 3-year-old candy for using the potty, and she told me, "Good job."

Now I'm not sure if I'm training her or she's training me.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 16, 2017

Wooo! That sure was a rollercoaster ride, wasn’t it?!?!

Tell us about your own potty training tales in the comments!

The post Enjoy These Hilarious Tweets About the Trials and Tribulations of Potty Training appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

These Tweets Sum up the Whole Foods Shopping Experience

Whole Foods? Try Whole Paycheck, right? Hey-o!

I kid, I kid…

I like Whole Foods but it certainly has it’s niche, doesn’t it? And by niche, I mean expensive. Let’s just say that I go there about once a year for the salad bar…

Let’s get into these funny tweets about shopping at Whole Foods, shall we?

1. This might get ugly.

It's West Side Story in the Whole Foods parking lot as two dads in cargo shorts fight over a parking spot, brandishing Audi flip keys like switchblades.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 21, 2018

2. That helps.

Just told a guy who cut me off in the Whole Foods parking lot to eat a bag of dicks but then thought better of it and added THEY'RE ORGANIC

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 10, 2015

3. She’s been there for hours.

This woman at Whole Foods is choosing a bundle of asparagus more carefully than I chose my husband.

— shauna (@goldengateblond) November 20, 2014

4. I’m sure people really appreciate this.

*lowers sunglasses

I'm here for a good time not a long time, ma'am… and also this thyme.

*holding up the line at Whole Foods

— JEFF WILD (@jiffywild) April 13, 2018

5. Wish that was on video.

i just remembered the time i was at Whole Foods and a girl took a “broken, do not use” sign off the door a took a selfie with it over her heart and then dropped the sign and walked directly into the broken doors

— lil phag (@elijahdaniel) February 16, 2019

6. Hahahaha.

Amazon is buying Whole Foods for 13.7 billion dollars. And that's just the price of the apples!

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 16, 2017

7. Kind of pointless…

Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.

— Mikey (@KrunkedRobot) January 21, 2016

8. Five-second rule?

THE WORST: I just spent $30 on apples at Whole Foods and then dropped both of them!

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 21, 2012

9. A very good point.

If all the gluten-free vegan yoga weirdo customers at Whole Foods are so healthy, then why are they so fucking angry?

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 20, 2015

10. Balls of steel.

carry yourself with the confidence of a white dude with 16 items in his cart while standing in the "10 items of less" line at Whole Foods

— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) January 18, 2019

11. Is this real?

We bought condensed milk at Whole Foods and it looks like the fake food that my kid has in his play kitchen. pic.twitter.com/ta7718Q7qb

— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) November 21, 2018

12. Endlessly wandering.

I'm wandering around Whole Foods like tom hanks in The Terminal

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 10, 2015

13. Think about this before you commit.

going to cash in my 401k so I can start shopping at Whole Foods

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 2, 2012

14. That’s the cheap one!

I just went to Whole Foods and asked for a rec for a good cheddar for mac and cheese, and the employee directed me to a $42.16 block of cheddar. I'm trying to figure out whom I should sue.

— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) November 18, 2018

15. Oops!

Omg so embarrassing. So I go shopping at Whole Foods and get all the way to the register only to realize I forgot I don't have a trust fund.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 23, 2016

Are you a Whole Foods shopper?

Do you think these tweets hit the mark?

The post These Tweets Sum up the Whole Foods Shopping Experience appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

Funny Tweets About Things That People Think Are Better Than Sex

Sex is great…but have you seen these tweets?

People are weighing in on social media about what they think is as good or better than doing the deed, knocking the boots, doing the horizontal mamba…or whatever you want to call it.

Let’s dive into these and get inside the heads of these folks…

1. That is SEXY.

sure sex is great but have you ever caught an uber pool to the airport that didn’t pick up anyone else

— Matt Ford (@JMatthiasFord) October 13, 2017

2. Very satisfying.

sure, sex is great, but have you ever finished a long piece of work and quit a browser that had 35 tabs open

— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) May 20, 2019

3. EROTIC.

Sex is great, but have you ever done that thing where the scissors slide all the way across the wrapping paper?

— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) December 23, 2017

4. Not yet…

yea sex is great but have you ever been to a chiropractor?

— sarah schauer (@SJSchauer) July 25, 2018

5. Way better than sex.

Sure sex is great but have you ever worked a customer service job and been able to put an abusive customer in their place without being reprimanded?

— dripped out muppet (@sweatpantspapi) January 30, 2019

6. What a relief.

Sex is great… but have you ever finally removed a popcorn kernel shell from your gums after 10 hours..

— Christian Blacc.. (@50shadesofblacc) February 13, 2019

7. This is my space.

Yeah sex is great but have you ever been in a elevator, seen someone running towards it and reached over to the Door Open button but hesitated for a spit second then seen the doors close and convinced yourself it was the universes decision that you should ride alone today.

— Kaya Scodelario (@kScodders) September 17, 2018

8. NEVER.

Yeah sex is great but have you ever lost your phone at an event and then actually had it returned to you

— Stephanie (@Plurprincess_1) September 12, 2018

9. Might not be able to beat this one.

Sex is great but have you ever watched the school bus take your kids away from you for the day?

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 10, 2018

10. This has to be a fantasy.

I know sex is great but have you ever been paid by a client within an hour of sending the invoice?

— Jord Riekwel (@Larkef) January 29, 2019

11. Meetings are pretty brutal.

yeah sex is great but have u ever had a meeting canceled

— Flexington Ave Local (@Dr_TacoMD) February 28, 2019

12. That’s impossible.

yeah …… sex is great but ……. have u ever been able to spell mcconaughey right on the first try

— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) March 11, 2019

13. Made a new friend.

Sure sex is great but have you ever discovered that you and someone else hate the same person?

— Phillip Henry (@MajorPhilebrity) April 19, 2019

14. Showed them…

Sure sex is great but have you ever unfollowed someone who you had a crush on that never liked you back?

— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) June 2, 2019

15. Ahhhh, I’m spent.

Sure, sex is great, but what about when you let a bus pull out at a bus stop and the driver opens his little window and gives you a big thumbs-up

— Damon Green (@damongreenITV) June 5, 2019

Those are pretty hilarious.

Why don’t you share your own version in the comments…we know you have a few of these on your mind!

The post Funny Tweets About Things That People Think Are Better Than Sex appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

I Think You’re Gonna Want a 2020 Dog Shaming Calendar

Is there anything better than photos of people shaming their poor dogs to publicly humiliate them?

The answer is NO. It is, in fact, the most enjoyable thing on the planet.

And you can enjoy these kinds of shenanigans all year-round with your very own 2020 Pet Shaming Calendar. Let’s get a sneak peek…

1. You dirty doggy.

Photo Credit: Amazon

2. Uh oh…

Photo Credit: Amazon

3. Fresh out of the box.

Photo Credit: Amazon

4. You filthy animal.

Photo Credit: Amazon

5. This one takes the cake.

Photo Credit: Amazon

6. Definitely not a part of your diet.

Photo Credit: Amazon

7. The Jerk Store called…

Photo Credit: Amazon

8. Stay away from the baby!

Photo Credit: Amazon

9. A low-down, dirty shame.

Photo Credit: Amazon

10. Guilty as charged.

Photo Credit: Amazon

Order your calendar HERE.

And share some pics in the comments of your own bad girls and boys!

The post I Think You’re Gonna Want a 2020 Dog Shaming Calendar appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

The 2020 Irish Farmers Calendar Is Here and It Is Wonderful

I think you need this in your life. And I do, too!

The 2020 Irish Farmer Calendar is here, and let me tell you, it’s even better than last year’s version. This is the eleventh year of this wonderful collection of Irish farmers doing their thing, and it’s an annual hit.

Let’s take a look at some of these fellas.

Buy yours HERE.

1. Rub a dub dub.

Win 1 of 10 copies of the Irish Farmer Calendar!! Simple Like, Share or Tag a friend who'd LOVE an Irish Farmer on their wall!! – farmercalendar.com

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Tuesday, November 19, 2019

2. In the pumpkin patch.

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Wednesday, October 30, 2019

3. We all need to read this book.

100% Irish Beef! January from the 2020 editon of the Irish Farmer Calendar Available now from http://farmercalendar.comPhoto credit: Ian Shipley

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Saturday, October 5, 2019

4. With a little friend.

Welcome to December Don't forget to order your copy of the Irish Farmer Calendar in good time for Christmas Only at farmercalendar.com – Worldwide Delivery

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Sunday, December 1, 2019

5. Whittling some wood.

Farmer Maurice aka Mr. March doing some beautiful woodwork on Corballis Farm on Donabate strand, Dublin – farmercalendar.com

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Thursday, November 14, 2019

6. The big race.

And the winners are … Sandra Jane, Denis McAuliffe, Helen Osborne, Maura Clarke, Susan O’Leary, Donie Anderson, Margo…

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Sunday, November 24, 2019

7. Let me play you a song.

Introducing Jamie aka Mr. April having a good oul singsong with the dog To have Jamie feature on your wall for 2020, visit farmercalendar.com Worldwide delivery!

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Thursday, November 7, 2019

8. Let’s get this baby running.

Last call fellas! Get your image in NOW to be featured in the 2020 Irish Farmer Calendar! Photoshoots take place in Dublin and Kilkenny. G'waaan!!! Info@farmercalendar.comPhoto credit: Fran Marshall

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Sunday, July 14, 2019

9. Smiles all around.

Introducing Ger and his laughing horse Tina! Ger can't get enough of the Farmer Calendar having also featured in the…

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Thursday, October 17, 2019

10. Let’s get a selfie.

Happy St. Patrick's Day Irish Farmer fans! – farmercalendar.com

Posted by Irish Farmer Calendar on Sunday, March 17, 2019

Let’s be honest…you know you want to hang this in your home or office.

What are you waiting for?!?!

The post The 2020 Irish Farmers Calendar Is Here and It Is Wonderful appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

Here Are Some Funny Tweets About Decorating for the Holidays

Do you know what time it is: it’s time to decorate your home for the holidays while fighting about it with your partner and your children.

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?!?!

We feel your pain…but just remember, taking the decorations down and boxing them up will bring another round of pain and misery! Yay!

1. This stage takes multiple days.

I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 25, 2017

2. Oops!

I'm sorry that I ran over all of your inflatable Christmas decorations.

— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) December 3, 2014

3. Makes a lot of sense.

The prettier the Christmas lights on the outside, the more dysfunctional the family on the inside.

— Just Linda (@LindaInDisguise) December 17, 2013

4. Hey, it works.

*forgetting the name for christmas decorations*
please pass me the tree earrings

— deck the halls w kimmymonte (@KimmyMonte) November 26, 2017

5. Absolutely.

Christmas decorations should come with coupons for couples counseling.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 28, 2015

6. Well, that’s ruined…

I liked Christmas lights a lot more when I wasn't involved in putting them up.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 4, 2015

7. Daughter wasn’t impressed.

I chuckled this morning as I named the front door Christmas decoration, "Keith the Wreath." My daughter just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) December 20, 2013

8. I love that song!

Here’s a little song I wrote about putting up outdoor Christmas decorations it’s called “Fuck You Fucking Christmas Lights You Fucking Fucks” and a one and a two

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 1, 2018

9. An annual tradition.

Half of this strand of Christmas lights doesn’t work so I’m just going to ball it back up and toss it in the bin so it can piss me off again next year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2017

10. And…we’re done!

My kids: Can we decorate for Christmas now?!
Me: Sure. [puts Santa hat on pumpkin]

— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) November 29, 2019

11. Explain that one.

A computer the size of a city block can now fit in your pocket yet a whole strand of Christmas lights still goes dark when 1 bulb burns out.

— Just Linda (@LindaInDisguise) December 6, 2015

12. Gonna be a long month.

My husband just brought in 8 boxes of shiny, jingly, Christmas decorations and left me to decorate with three kids so he could do non-time-sensitive pool maintenance.

If he survives it will be a Christmas miracle.

— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) December 8, 2018

13. He might never come out.

It's that lovely, peaceful time of year when my husband spends all his time alone in the garage detangling the Christmas lights.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) November 27, 2016

14. Might want to take it down a notch.

For every hundred Christmas lights you staple to your house, an angel loses its will to live.

— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) December 11, 2011

15. A little of both?

We let the 11yo pick the decorations… be honest, does this look like Christmas or the ectoplasm from Ghostbusters? pic.twitter.com/zzPvfX2pUr

— another year older (@MommaUnfiltered) December 1, 2019

Is your house or apartment all gussied up for the holiday season?

Let’s see some festive photos in the comments!

The post Here Are Some Funny Tweets About Decorating for the Holidays appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

15 Hilarious Tweets About Taking Your Kids to Meet Santa

Taking your little ones to meet Santa can go one of two ways: they either love it and enjoy telling the old man what they want for Christmas…or they have a meltdown because they can’t handle the trauma of being handed over to a stranger dressed in red and white.

And it’s basically a crapshoot which way it’ll go.

Parents took to Twitter to let off some steam about this dreaded interaction that they’re all forced to go through at some point…

1. I just need this one photo…

'Tis the season to bribe your kids to take one freaking picture with the jolly mall Santa without losing their shit completely.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 4, 2016

2. That’s a good way to look at it.

I'm not the kind of mom who takes her kids to see Santa out of tradition, but more for the blackmail photos.

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) December 8, 2014

3. Intimidating the big man.

I can’t be the only one making the throat slashing sign at the mall Santa when their child asks for the newest iPhone.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 3, 2019

4. That’s pretty steep.

$28 to take a picture with Santa at the mall? Now I know how he can afford all the presents and how he can pay all those elves.

— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) December 22, 2016

5. I need a favor.

I wish this mall Santa would do me a solid and tell my kids to throw away their juice box straw wrappers.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 18, 2016

6. Kinda weird when you think about it.

Cute photo of your kid with Santa. Also, you just stood in line and paid $50 for a stranger in a disguise to touch your child.

— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) December 11, 2013

7. Alert the authorities.

[in the mall]

Me: Want to sit on Santa’s lap?

4-year-old: I don't think he’s the real Santa.

Me:

4: Should we call the police?

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 16, 2014

8. A fake dude.

[at the mall]

me: it's time you know the truth — Santa is fake

son: omg

me: yeah, he was talking mad shit about you behind your back

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 7, 2018

9. He belongs in the fiery depths.

I told my son to give an Elf on the Shelf to the mall Santa and whisper in his ear, "Send him back to hell where he belongs, Mall Santa."

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 10, 2016

10. Actually, I need two favors…

Your kid's picture with the mall Santa should include 2 things:

~ A stiff drink for the parents
~ Antibiotics for the kids

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 10, 2014

11. I’m sure he loved that.

I made my 5yo tell the mall Santa what he wanted for Christmas using only interpretive dance.

— Ms. Monster (@SpacePlankton) December 22, 2013

12. Christmas is canceled!

Add a bit of cheer by threatening to cancel Christmas if they don't stop fighting while in line to see Santa.

Makes for great pictures!

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 21, 2014

13. That’s not good.

I’m pretty sure I saw this department store Santa in an old episode of “Dateline.”

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) December 20, 2014

14. You’ve been very bad.

My 2 year old is absolutely TERRIFIED of this mall Santa. Given his behavior over the past year, I can't say I blame him.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 24, 2018

15. You don’t have to make it a big secret anymore.

Why does Santa make a big deal sneaking down the chimney on Xmass when I see him walking around the mall like everyday?

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) November 30, 2010

Be honest with us…how’d it go when you took your kiddos to meet Santa?

Was it a disaster or were they happy about it? Share your stories in the comments.

The post 15 Hilarious Tweets About Taking Your Kids to Meet Santa appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

Here Are Some Hilarious Tweets About ‘Frozen 2’ from Parents

We know that if your kids are of a certain age, you’ve already taken them to see Frozen 2…at least once. There’s no escape, and you know it.

Just remember, you’ll be hearing your kids sing the songs from this movie for the next couple years, so get used to it and go with the flow.

Just let it go.

Let us begin…

1. Look what you started.

I let 3 bring her Anna and Elsa dolls into Frozen 2 and didn’t know I’d be waging a glare war with another mom who didn’t let her daughter bring her dolls in.

— Marissa (@michimama75) November 25, 2019

2. Taking it to a new level.

Disney leaning into homeopathy HARD with the “water has memory” theme of Frozen 2.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) November 24, 2019

3. She’s had enough.

The only Frozen 2 I'm interested in is two jumbo margaritas.

— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) November 24, 2019

4. She needs to learn.

My 6yo moaned and groaned at the movie theatre during the trailers, because “We came here to see Frozen 2, not all of this.” I obviously told her a tale of how my generation had to sit patiently through the travesty of “commercials,” and walk uphill to and from school.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) December 3, 2019

5. Booyah!

This is my JAM!

– me in my car listening to the Frozen 2 soundtrack

— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) November 27, 2019

6. You’ll probably have to camp out.

7-year-old: Did you buy tickets to the new Frozen movie yet?

Me: It's a month away.

7: We should get in line now.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2019

7. Might need to hit that 100 mark.

Will I understand Frozen 2 if I’ve only seen Frozen 86 times in the past 4 months

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) November 19, 2019

8. Couldn’t go with that one.

Rejected #Frozen2 Plot Lines:

1. Anna and Christoph lead a boring life in the castle. She texts him to pick up milk on his way home. He says ok and then subsequently forgets. #rejectedFrozen2plotlines

— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) November 23, 2019

9. Oh, great…

I have 2 sons and zero daughters and my boys don’t want to go see Frozen 2 like I secretly do, they only want to hit each other with plastic lightsabers and talk about baby Yoda

— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) November 24, 2019

10. That’s nacho cheese!

We took my toddler to her first theater movie tonight. Frozen 2

She did great, except for when she tried to steal a nacho from our seat neighbor. That was awkward .

— Heather doo do doo do doo do doo do (@dishs_up) November 22, 2019

11. Done for a while…

Look, I sat through Frozen 2 this weekend, so don’t ask anything else of me for the rest of this year or next.

— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) November 24, 2019

12. SPOILERS EVERYONE

SPOILER ALERT:

Frozen 2 is Frozen 1 but for the 2nd time in forever

— SheepWreck Yaron (@NrouteHQ) November 6, 2019

13. This is what you have to look forward to.

Frozen
Frozen II
Frozen: Snow Drift
The Frozen
Frozen Five
Frozen 6
Frozen 7
The Fate of the Frozen

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 4, 2019

14. Lots of snoozing going on.

Not to brag but I stayed awake for all of Frozen 2 which is more than I can say for some audience members.

— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) November 23, 2019

15. Aw. That’s nice

Wife: what are you doing?

Me: rewatching Frozen.

Wife: why?

Me: so I know what’s going on when I take our Daughter to see Frozen II.

Wife: why?

Me: so we can talk about both movies on the drive home.

Wife: why?

Me: cause she loves Frozen and I want to share this with her.

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 14, 2019

How many times have you taken your kids to see Frozen 2 so far?

Let us know all about it in the comments!

The post Here Are Some Hilarious Tweets About ‘Frozen 2’ from Parents appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

Enjoy These Funny Tweets About Secret Santas

Christmas is around the corner, so for a lot of people, that means the annual Secret Santa party (or maybe more).

It might be at your office or at your aunt’s house, but they’re all pretty much the same, right? Sometimes these parties are a lot of fun and other times…maybe not so much…

How about we Ha Ha Ha while we Ho Ho Ho?

Ready? Go!

1. Oh, great…

That moment you pull a name for Secret Santa and realize it's somebody lame.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) December 10, 2013

2. Works for everyone.

Nothing says “I love you” like diamonds. Nothing says “I drew you in a workplace Secret Santa” like Starbucks gift cards.

— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) October 18, 2018

3. When did I do this?

when you're an adult, Secret Santa is online shopping drunk at 3am so you don't remember what you bought when it arrives four days later

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 3, 2017

4. No, not that kind…

coworker: what's yr secret santa gift
me: amy said she loves moose so—
cw: ya she loves hair mousse
m: *waves away man leading in a moose*

— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) December 19, 2016

5. Hmmmm…

I’m such a Secret Santa that you won’t even know if I got you anything.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) December 23, 2016

6. The important stuff.

A colleague has just been fired from work and someone else put their hand up and asked how it would affect the Secret Santa

— g0_f1sh (@g0_f1sh) December 12, 2018

7. Believe in yourself.

no one wants to do secret santa with me and i assume it’s because they know i’m too good at it and they’ll just feel bad. that’s what i choose to believe.

— Scaachi (@Scaachi) November 8, 2019

8. That will be returned.

I'm pretty sure the woman who asked for a gift receipt with her package of gum would be the worst Secret Santa ever.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 12, 2014

9. Have to think outside the box.

Secret Santa is infinitely harder when your gift recipient is a dermatologist. There’s no way I’m passing muster with a scented soap or lotion this year

— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) December 13, 2018

10. Wait, it’s not?

I'm sorry, I thought that a Secret Santa's job is to share all the secrets they know about the person with everyone in the office.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 18, 2014

11. Gonna be a great Christmas.

Sorry I got you 28 packages of baby carrots as your Secret Santa gift but there was a sale and it was within our spending limit.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 3, 2014

12. The only three reactions.

The three possible reactions to pulling a name out for Secret Santa:
1. "Oh god no"
2. Oh, okay"
3. "Who?"

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 29, 2016

13. Keep it to yourself.

HR said I can't complain publicly about my secret Santa gift. They ruin every holiday.

— Luwanda (@LuwandaJenkins) December 23, 2015

14. Poor guy.

Santa is only Santa because he drew absolutely every child in the world's name in a round of Secret Santa.

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) December 8, 2015

15. HELL YEAH.

Do I want to play Secret Santa this year? You mean do I have gifts I want to re-wrap and get rid of? HELL YEAH.

— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) November 28, 2017

Do you have any good Secret Santa stories that have happened to you?

If so, let’s see them in the comments!

Oh, and…Happy Holidays!

The post Enjoy These Funny Tweets About Secret Santas appeared first on UberFacts.

December 19, 2019

These Tweets Sum up the Pain of Grocery Shopping with Little Kids

Don’t you think grocery shopping with little kids just the greatest?!?! I have a distinct memory of being in a grocery store with my mom when I was about five-years-old and picking up a gallon of milk, dropping it on the ground, and watching it explode.

Let’s just say I got into enormous trouble when I got home that night.

Parents with kids, these tweets are for you…we feel your pain.

1. Let’s all have a good cry.

Grocery shopping with kids is just saying "put that back!" every 30 seconds until everyone is crying.

— Toni Hammer (@thetonihammer) January 13, 2017

2. It should be…

So The Fast and the Furious isn't about grocery shopping with your toddler?

— Meredith (@PerfectPending) May 2, 2016

3. Pick your poison.

[grocery shopping]

Me: Quiet down or we're going straight home.

Kids: Yeah!

Me: Quiet down or we're staying here forever

Kids: *silence*

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 28, 2016

4. Total chaos.

me [giving a press conference after taking the kids to the grocery store] I don't know what the hell happened in there. That was ridiculous

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 10, 2017

5. Thanks a lot!

I love it when my kid loudly asks me things like “why is your butt shaking?” while we’re grocery shopping. Awesome, kiddo!

— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) January 17, 2018

6. Ain’t that the truth?

The loudest sound on Earth is my child asking an inappropriate question about another customer at the grocery store.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 29, 2018

7. Making a mess.

Me: "Grocery shopping with kids is fun!"

Narrator: He lied, cleaning up the eggs his son threw onto the floor of aisle two.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 24, 2017

8. Now you know.

My kids wanted to know what it's like to be a Mom so we went grocery shopping & I asked "Can we buy this?" until they cried & took me home.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 20, 2017

9. Hold it!

The words "I have to go potty" are the last thing I want to hear from my 2yr old as we wait in the checkout line at the grocery store.

— Jennifer Borget (@JenniferBorget) February 26, 2013

10. It’s a nightmare.

Take the kids grocery shopping if you want to hate grocery shopping even more.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 14, 2018

11. It’ll make you stronger.

The advice I'd give five-year-old me is forget the bogeyman, plan and prepare yourself for surviving grocery shopping trips with kids.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) February 26, 2017

12. Watch your ankles.

"It's so cute how they're pushing the grocery cart by themselves!"

– Me right before my kids ram someone with the grocery cart

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 24, 2017

13. Just keep telling yourself that.

Get to grocery shop with BOTH my children.

It'll be fine. Everything's fine. We're all fine. Nothing to worry about. We're good. It's fine.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 21, 2016

14. Like a zoo in there.

All of these screaming kids in this grocery store are making it impossible for me to find my own kids and husband.

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 3, 2018

15. Like a pack of zombies.

Fun fact: Toddlers who have only had half a nap are completely psychotic and should not be taken on outings to the grocery store.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) April 30, 2017

How do you manage to shop with your little ones?

Share your tips AND your horror stories in the comments with us!

The post These Tweets Sum up the Pain of Grocery Shopping with Little Kids appeared first on UberFacts.