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People Share The Wedding Moments That Made Them Think The Marriage Would Never Last

Weddings are meant to be a time of great joy and profound happiness.

Two souls converging and becoming one for all of eternity.

Love is abound like a free wheeling pixie. It’s a glorious sight to behold.

Until it’s not.

Sadly too many people jump into marriage for all the wrong reasons.

They try to fool the world, and themselves, that this is the right thing to do.

But more often than not, the world can see right through you.

Redditor Olya_roo wanted to hear about the red flags and flat out obvious signs they witnessed at a wedding that didn’t give them hope for the couple’s happily ever after…

They asked:

“What wedding moment made you think: ‘They are not going to last long?’”

Let’s talk about love, while it lasts…

Next time skip the Speeches?

“Not the couple getting married but the Best Man and Maid of Honor who were married to each other.”

“Best Man’s speech was all about how hard it was to be married.”

“‘I’ve been married for a year and it feels like 100 years.’”

“Maid of Honor stands up to give a speech and just says ‘Ditto.’”

“It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down.”

“Brother of the bride stood up and gave a nice impromptu speech about teamwork and having a partner to go through life with.”

“How happy the family was to have the groom join their family.”

“Best Man and Maid of Honor were divorced within a year.”

“Couple who got married are still married 30+ years later.”

“I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually were helpful in how not to act as a couple.”

“For me the complex backstory.”

“Bride’s brother is gay and has been in a longterm relationship for 40+ years.”

“At the time he gave his speech about marriage he couldn’t marry the man he loved and I think his passioned defense of marriage was born from that.”

“When people would say they were against gay marriage because it makes a mockery of marriage I’d think of that night.”

“The married couple who had no respect for marriage could easily marry (and did over and over again) and the man who stood up and defended marriage could not.”

“He’s married now and lovingly takes care of his husband as he battles health issues.”  ~ designgoddess

Financials…

“When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the ‘for richer or poorer’ part and she said ‘for richer or richer and maybe for poorer.’”

“The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.” ~ crm115

How much is this costing?

“I’M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!”

“My wife’s brother just got married this past May.”

“Bride’s mother is a big DO IT YOURSELF person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc…”

“Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.”

“Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (groom’s mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!!).”

“And asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy.”

“It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side.”  ~ WanderingRaindog

Clothes Speak

“The groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned ‘Game Over.’” ~ Reddit

Best Ensemble Performance! 

“My wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding.”

“The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students.”

“The maid-of-honour’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of ‘if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you.’”

“The best-man’s speech was a lusty declaration of ‘if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe… like the previous time you called me.’”

“Other toasts were similarly weird.”

“A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ thing.”

“I’m still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally f**ked-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.”  ~ sharplescorner

Be Sure to Eat Out

“I was maid of honor.”

“Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff.”

“Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (something she’s passionate about) to the officiant.”

“She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her.”

“He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic.”

“That always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back.”

“They lasted 7 months.” ~ Kraken_of_BeverlyRd

BE SURE!!! 

“When my sister married her first husband she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle ‘I can make this work, right?’”

“They were divorced 6 months later.”

“My whole family knew it wasn’t a good idea since the original engagement a year prior.”  ~ IMgonnaDIE

Bodily Harm

“He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception.”

“He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered.”

“They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos.”

“Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.”  ~ blackhart452

The Family Brawl…

“Well here it goes…”

“My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that groom was not the best to my cousin while dating.”

“The bride’s brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families.”

“Next thing you know the police show up and literally pepper spray everyone.”

“Including my grandma, kids and anyone near the area.”

“I don’t remember if anyone got arrested but the story got on CBS the early show for the international news.”

“Lol they did not last long to say the least.” ~ mendoza327

Kisses…

“When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.”  ~ csdirty

Some of us are just going to die alone, or with a parrot.

And that is ok.

It is better to be alone than unhappy.

Besides if you wait just a little longer, the right one may not be far off.

Don’t say “I DO” until you’re 100% sure!!

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People Who Quit A Job On Their 1st Day Describe What Happened

One of the main reasons that people “rage quit” their jobs – meaning they leave in a dramatic fashion when they’re fed up – is usually due to poor management and abusive treatment.

In August of 2021, we saw the largest amount of people quitting their jobs at once in what is now known as the Great Resignation. Some left due to low wages and poor management, some left because of the pandemic, and some wanted to do work they actually loved doing.

While many of these people quit after working for quite some time, there’s a great deal of people out there who quit on day one of their new job.

Sometimes you start a new job and instantly you realize that it’s not going to be the right fit. Whether it’s red flags with management or the work isn’t something you want to be doing, there are so many reasons to leave.

We went to Ask Reddit to get the truth on why people left their job the moment they started.

Redditor redmambo_no6 asked:

“People who quit their jobs on the first day, what was your ‘I’m outta here’ moment?”

Here’s some of the best responses.

Had to pay for the microwave.

“When the microwave in the lunch room was coin activated.” – CaptainArsehole

“That’s real? What the ever loving f*ck?”

“That warrants loading that thing up with quarters, filling it with silverware and setting it to ten minutes on your way out.” – larry_flarry

“I work in building management and am personally responsible for many of the amenities tenants have in an office, and I can’t even imagine the conversation on that one.”

“I had a hard time putting in a cold brew and kombucha machine that was pay per use, I feel like if you are going to put something in an office it should be free, or just don’t offer it.” – BuffFlexson

Management has issues.

“Worked in a hotel for a day.”

“No one told me where anything was. Got chewed out for it.”

“Guests enjoying their meals told me to pay no mind/I was doing a good job and that my boss is a c*nt.”

“I told the manager that I was quitting and wouldn’t be doing the next shift.”

“I arrived the next day, returning a work uniform and my supervisor approached me and yelled at me for being late. I told her I already quit but if I was working, technically I was 5 hours early for my shift.”

“Absolute nutcases.” – O5CR

“The not getting told how to something then getting told off for doing it wrong thing happened to me. I was so mad.”

“Got told to put something on shelves by checkout. Asked if there’s way any specific way it needs to be done? Get told ‘No, idiot, it’s not hard you just put as much as you can fit on the shelf’. Stack stuff on shelf. ‘Why didn’t you follow protocol around displaying stuff here? You have to count exactly how many you use for stock control and display them a certain way.’”

“Thought that one was a one off but the next day I ask what I should be doing after a busy period? ‘There’s nothing to do for a bit. Make us all coffee to practice using the machine.’ Half way through making coffee ‘Why haven’t you done really important job? You don’t have time to be taking coffee breaks!’”

“This was my trainer vs the manager. Turns out the trainer didn’t want someone else working with her so she sabotaged me and set me up for the manager to catch me doing the (wrong) things she’d told me to do.”

“I told them they clearly have some issues to work out among themselves and quit.” – Few-Evidence-7534

They were watching.

“I got a job at a Build A Bear knockoff at the end of a mall that wasn’t very busy. My interview with the owners was interesting. They were an older couple who said that they had wanted to open a Chick Fil A, but you need about a million dollars to do that.”

“My first day, one other girl was working, and she didn’t really talk to me. I had basically no training and she disappeared into the back. I was standing at the register area, which was underneath a giant storybook mushroom. A mother and her young son walk in and start to look at the bear skin options. I greeted them and left them to look around. They ended up leaving after a couple minutes and my coworker reappeared from the back with the cordless phone and handed it to me.”

“It was my boss. He told me that when a customer walks in, he wants me to come out from under the mushroom to them (‘come OUT! from the mushroom!’). After he finished speaking to me, I hung up and went to my coworker and asked about the phone call. She said the place has cameras set up and the owners watch them from their house and call in a lot. I did not come back to work after that day.” – pocketradish

“Not mushroom for improvement there.” – FreudianAcordian

“Owner didn’t seem like a fungi.” – TrippyReality

They had been robbed.

“Fast food chain: I was 17.”

“I found out during training that the place had been robbed 3 times in the past month and 1 employee was seriously injured.”

“Not worth the $5/hr. (This was the US state of Georgia in 2004).” – ThunderFlash10

“I worked at a KFC when I was 16. I remember the training orientation video told us over and over not to be a hero if you get robbed. Do they really think we’re gonna take a bullet for them? Like we’re gonna scream ‘Not on my watch!’ and dive over the counter?” – casino_night

They didn’t take breaks.

“Took a summer job at a textile plant and the trainer said, ‘Forget about taking a break if you want to stay caught up.’” – p38-lightning

“Reply forget about being caught up.” – Big-Red-Husker

“Especially because ‘caught up’ is an arbitrary standard.”

“Breaks, however, are mandated by law and measurable.” – TootsNYC

They didn’t want to pay the $40.

“I applied for a job at my longtime favorite restaurant(celebrated my birthday there every year).”

“Owner asks me to come in for basically a try out, as I communicated I was looking at other job possibilities. I come in and they just stick me on dishwashing for an hour, no biggie. Then there dishwasher doesn’t show up, so the kitchen manager asks me to stay one for their lunch rush, says I’ll get paid for the hours. I do, kitchen staff was nice so I was happy to help out even though I figured I’d be taking a different job. I fill out a time card at the end of the shift and tell the manager I probably wouldn’t be back, he understands and thanks me for the help.”

“Fast forward a couple weeks and he tells me to email the owner after I ask him if I should pick up my measly paycheck. I do, she basically tells me to f*ck off over text. Tells me it was ‘staging’ and that she told me I wouldn’t be paid. I respond that I understand that but that I stayed an extra 3 hours which I WAS told I’d be paid for. She stops responding. I decide I want to be petty over the 40 bucks so I get the state labor department involved. Dude goes in there and makes her pay me for the hours including the first ‘staging’ hour. Couple weeks later I got my 40 bucks, never went back to that restaurant.”

“Firstly, ‘petty’ is not how I see it two years later. I’m VERY glad I did this and sharing the story with others in my city I learned this practice was very common with local restaurants. Hopefully others learned to stand up for their labor too from my small experience.”

“Secondly, this restaurant closed down a couple weeks after I got that paycheck. The owner made a long winded complaint on the FB page about how the food culture had ‘changed’ in the city and her restaurant didn’t fit in anymore (total bullsh*t, they were ALWAYS popular. Most people theorized the terrible mismanagement and employee abuse had caught up to her).” – sleepdyhollow

“You’re not petty, I wonder how many other people they fleeced for free labor.” – FaustsAccountant

“You would not believe what restaurants get away with. And they’re so blatant about it.”

“It’s such an insane work culture. I’m glad I experienced it but the thought of doing it everyday makes my job being a welder now a total cakewalk.” – providenthound

The employee had to pay for training.

“My very first job was at a little drive in restaurant close to my high school. I showed up to work the first day, they lady said I had to pay her $50 for training. She showed me around the place and said that my pay would be $4.50/hour as a carhop(this was in 2010), and all the tips I made went into a bucket with all the other girls’ tips. At the end of the night, she counted up tips, kept 20% for herself and split the rest up evenly among EVERY employee. Also, part of our job was one day a week we had to spend 4 hours cleaning her house. It seemed super shady.”

“I literally left after listening to her go over all these rules. My dad was pissed until I explained, and another girl confirmed and my dad agreed I did the right thing.” – tlr92

“Shady and highly illegal.”

“Tip pooling is legal but is supposed to be only with other tipped employees, her skimming 20% off the top is not legal.”

“Pretty sure you can’t charge someone to train them for a job you hired them for.” – -Work_Account-

Hired to do one job, told to do another.

“I was hired at a chain restaurant to be a hostess. I was so excited because my last job was washing dishes and because of my eczema, I had to quit. It was too painful to do that job. So, I arrived at my new job dressed up to be a hostess and those mfers took me back to the kitchen to do dishes because the dishwasher just quit. I noped out of there real fast!” – Ismygrayshowing

“13 years in restaurants, I can say if you have any skin condition stay out of restaurants not because of your skin but the chemicals some places use for their dishwashers. I’ve seen people welt up just from industrial detergent.” – scootiesanchez2038

Even the customers knew it was bad.

“Went into an Italian restaurant for my first day of work and I got 3 red flags on the very first day.”

“1- The manager said he had lots of hours for me and getting shifts would be no problem. Every single other employee told me that they were struggling for hours and that they had no idea why they hired me.”

“2- Everyone said the manager was an asshole. Even the customers.”

“3- It was my first day there, and I actually had to teach the woman training me how to do one or two things.” – Stevie-Avail

“Probably hired you to replace that woman.” – RonStopable08

They were pushing a sale that should never happen.

“‘Salesman’ for Kirby vacuums. First sale call was to a single elderly woman who was supporting her son in hospital (they got us in the door by offering a free carpet clean as a demonstration). The supervisor training me pushed and pushed to make the sale until this old woman was in tears. Just as she was about to sign the paperwork I asked if she actually wanted to vacuum and she said it was lovely but she couldn’t afford it. I took the paperwork away from her and said not to worry.”

“Outside I told the supervisor I quit to which he replied I would’ve been fired anyway. No love lost. I hung around for half an hour playing on my phone to make sure the supervisor left because he was a real piece of work.” – Pokestralian

“Oooh I have a Kirby story! I worked for them when I was 17 – not selling the vacuums but setting up appointments for the salespeople. They had the shadiest way of getting their salespeople into people’s houses. They went around town with raffle tickets where people could sign up with their name, address, and phone number for a chance to win some cash prize. The kicker? There was no contest. It was just a way to get these people’s info.”

“When I would get the filled out raffle tickets I was instructed to look at the zip codes and throw out any from the lower income part of town. Then with what was left I had to make calls. I had a script where I would tell them they were still in the running for the cash prize but in the meantime, they had won a free one room cleaning. I’d get the details on which room they wanted to have done and set up a day and time for it. Their free room cleaning was a Kirby salesman pitching to them the whole time.”

“The whole thing was so dishonest I quit after a couple weeks.” – SavaRox

Not only do some of these jobs sound terrible, a lot of what happened was illegal.

With all the abuse, misuse of power, and poor wages, it’s no one these people quit on day one. If they stayed any longer it was bound to be stressful.

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People Explain Which Jobs Are A Lot Less Fun Than People Think

It can be difficult to figure out what you’re going to do as a career for the rest of your life. In fact, the job you’re working in now might have started out as, “Just that thing I’ll do until I find the real thing I want to do.”

Usually, these careers are filled with long hours, difficult clientele, and a secret load of hardships the outside world is not privy to knowing. Unfortunately, as it turns out, the “dream” jobs, the ones people spend all day wishing they had while they work their dead-end feeling jobs, may not be as great as some hoped.

The smells. So. Many. Smells.

A Redditor wanted to know what jobs may not bring as much joy as some think when they asked:

“Which job is a LOT less fun than most people expect?”

Imagine The Smells. Now Imagine Them Every. Day.

“Zookeeper.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome to be around so many amazing animals and care for them…”

“But the smells are ridiculously, insanely foul.”

“I have a really strong stomach and it’s still tough for me…we’ve had some interns quit over it.”

“I was warned about the smells when getting into the field, but thought ‘oh I’ve volunteered at animal shelters, I know what animal stink smells like’”

“Nope. Not even close.” ~ wekoo9

So, I’m Not Like Indiana Jones?

“Paleontologist. You don’t get to work with full dinosaur skeletons and do all kinds of awesome expeditions.”

“You’re mostly sitting at a desk looking at some pictures and logging stuff on your computer, maybe examining a fossil occasionally.”

“If you’re lucky you can go on a real dig, and OMG SPEND HOURS IN THE HOT SUN DUSTING OFF ROCKS!!!” ~ MidwesternMonkey

Someone Has To Make The Donuts

“Baker. Coming into work at 3/4 am so you can have a six am baked goods is miserable.” ~ haireypotter

‘”o00Oo0h y0u MuST L0vE tHe wAY U SmëlL WhEn ù G0 h0Me!’”

“nope…I go home smelling like burnt oven” ~ Vdd993

No “Smoke On The Water”

“Working in a music store ( musical instruments )”

“Your days are spent listening to 50 different people play 50 different riffs poorly simultaneously, as if they’re all putting on their own concert.” ~ [usernamedeleted]

“Some of my (least) favorites:”

“Person who thinks playing well and playing loud are the same thing.”

“Person who wants to make sure you know they are very smart and you are very lucky to be in their presence.”

“Person who goes to absurd lengths to test out drum sticks to make sure they’re pitch matched without knowing how to execute any of those techniques. Extra points if they’re just going to shred them to splinters in a week anyway.”

“People who act like you’re in their way because you’re trying to do your job.”

“People who assume you couldn’t possibly know anything about the instruments you play and sell all day long.”

“Side note – I mostly loved my time working in a music store and I enjoy helping people but the people who come in with aggressive egos and nasty attitudes are insufferable.” ~ JessicaMessica

No Running!

“Lifeguarding. Everyone expects Baywatch, act, saving lives all the time. But It’s usually just sitting there blowing your whistle telling little sh-ts to stop f-cking around.” ~ Theholynun

I Just Wanted To Smash Stuff

“Demolition”

“Everyone wants to break shit with a sledgehammer. Everyone is tired of lifting that sledgehammer by 5 swings.”

“Nobody wants to load the broken stuff into bags or a wheelbarrow and take it to the dumpster.” ~ Bill_S_Preson_Esq

The Key Is Not In The Wall!

“Gamemaster at an escape room.”

“It’s the same repetitive script, resetting the same stuff, giving clues and hints about the same things.”

“The patrons are often competitive families who argue, obnoxious impatient 13-year-olds, college students who have been drinking, idiots who break sh*t and touch sh*t that I SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM NOT TO.”

“They never remember your initial instructions. If something gets broken during one group, you have to hurry and fix it before the next group.” ~ Reddit

You Know How Frustrated You Get When You Have To Replay The Same Level Of A Game?

“Video game tester.”

“You aren’t spending your time playing completed fully realized games. You are playing the same level of a game over and over seeing if there are bugs.” ~ Mr_frumpish

“Also, you are probably not going to test the next GTA, but something like Barbie’s Super Happy Funland 3, or some other game aimed for kids 8 and under. And you’ll have to play it for 8-10 hours a day, every day.” ~ __Hello_my_name_is__

“Lets see if I can clip through the wall in position 131, 875, -121”

“Lets see if I can clip through the wall in position 131, 875, -122”

“Lets see if I can clip through the wall in position 131, 875, -123” ~ RoboNinjaPirate

It’s Insane How Much We Don’t See On Screen

“I have seen this question before and then it was zookeeper at the top comment too. Nice.”

“Anyways, there’s this making-of Frozen 2 mini docu. Most animators work weeks for a minute of animation of one character, if not less.

“At one point they decided to leave out a piece that one person had solely been working on. Must be crappy to be part of the credits without being able to say “this is my part!”.” ~ ArrrSlashSubreddit

“I couldn’t believe it! It was even crazier to me when Sterling K. Brown recorded an entire song and it got scrapped. It’s insane how much ends up on the cutting room floor for a movie to be just right.”

“I was so psyched for the animator that did that end scene for ‘Into The Unknown’ though! She killed it.” ~ heronlyweapon

The Magic Never Leaves, It Just Changes

“Being a Character Performer at Disney.”

“Don’t get me wrong, there are some amazing perks and truly magical moments. I know I’m super lucky and tons of people would love to be in my shoes.”

“But the day to day work is EXHAUSTING in ways I never thought possible. Guests are ridiculously abusive…I’ve had things said and done to me I never would have imagined.”

“The company isn’t always great – it highly depends on your leadership. And there’s so much focus on your body and face (good and BAD) that it can be incredibly depressing and difficult emotionally.”

“Plus, you have to accept that there’s very little upward mobility. Most people “grow out of it” and it’s rough to know that one day you’ll get “too old” or “too fat” and you will have to start all over in a new career field.”

“So you constantly are thinking either, 1) what you’re going to do when you leave, 2) how you’re going to keep yourself there.”

“I personally knew it would be temporary, and I now only work there seasonally while I have a “normal career”. But Disney has a way of sucking you in.” ~ TheMarvelPrincess

They say do what you love and you’ll never work another day in your life.

It’s clear after taking a look at these entries, that is not the case and coming home smelling like burnt dough and elephant feces is not the life many thought they wanted.

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People Break Down The Greatest Comebacks To An Insult They’ve Ever Heard

We’ve all encountered a bully or a person who likes to throw insults around for no good reason.

But only some of us feel gifted in the ability to throw shade back at the person.

When we think of a snappy reply or come across someone else’s, the burn almost feels like something worth celebrating.

Redditor random-joe-shmoe asked:

“What is the greatest comeback to an insult you have ever heard?”

There were, of course, endowment jokes.

“On a construction site one afternoon, different trades were working in the same area. Like silly team sports, the sparkies always hang with the sparkies and the turd wranglers always hang with the turd wranglers and anytime they’re together it turns into a pointless dick-measuring contest (usually not literally)!”

“One particularly childish exchange saw two men chopping back and forth- my dick biggest, blah blah blah. Finally one of em spits out this classic:”

“‘I’ve got girth like a can of corn!’”

“And the clap back was unforgettable:”

“‘But you’ve got length like a can of tuna!’”

“Everyone busted up. Mister girth tried to hide his embarrassment but was tied-up. No come-back. And a room of men laughing uncontrollably.”

“Good times…” – heathenbeast

“My grandma got into a fight at the grocery store with a guy who told my 9-year-old brother to ‘move the f**k out of the way.’”

“They were going at it and his final words were, ‘Suck my d**k, b***h!’”

“She said across the store, ‘If I could find it, b***h!’”

“Not at Walmart. Even better – ALDI.” – grimmreaper514

Others made comebacks about their bodies.

“In middle school, a boy asked when I was going to grow some boobs. So I asked him when he was donating his……”

“I’m still really proud of that one.”

“Edit: I didn’t expect this to blow up. But I remember this clearly:”

“He was walking out of the English class I was walking into. We met at the doorway and were chest to chest.”

“And he looks me in the eye and said, ‘Grow some tits.’”

“Without missing a beat, I deadpanned, ‘Donate yours.’”

“Then I proceeded to proudly walk to my desk with a big smile.”

“Also, I did eventually grow some boobs. They are small but they are nice.” – Jaci_D

Some kids made some great jokes.

“Had a friend growing up who had an adopted brother a year or so younger. They would always talk s**t and fight a bit here and there.”

“One time my friend said to his brother that he was adopted and can go f**k off (he knew he was adopted).”

“Without missing a beat, he shot back at my friend, ‘Yeah well, clearly you weren’t enough for mom and dad. That’s why they bought me.’”

“Yes, he used the word ‘bought.’” – Atlv0486

“I have a bunch but one of the more memorable ones was back in 8th grade. For context, I didn’t make the basketball team in 7th grade, but I made the team in 8th grade.”

“This kid that was on the team the previous year but didn’t make it currently was really upset and telling me how bad I am and blah blah blah.”

“I told him that if he is better than me, then why didn’t he make the team, and he replied with, ‘It’s just cause of my grades, bro.’”

“So I replied with, ‘Oh so you’re just f**king stupid then?’”

“He gave up cause it was either accept that he was bad or accept he was an idiot, so…” – wuesteworld

“My sister started saying ‘go to h**l’ as a moody, often rude, teenager. She is a couple of years older than me.”

“One day she said it to me after she’d been chastised by our dad – for something she had done.”

“I usually shrugged off her insults because they were meaningless. This day, however, I retorted, ‘Why would I go anywhere you are?’”

“I’m still pleased with my 13-year-old brain for that one. I do remember her slamming her bedroom door as her comeback.” – shining_tiger

“Your mom” jokes never seem to go out of style.

“I was bulls**tting with a couple of buddies, and may have suggested that I banged one of their moms, to which said friend replied, ‘My mom’s dead.’”

“My mouth bypassed my brain and replied, ‘That explains the dirt.’” – CGPsaint

“English class in Middle School:”

“Kid A – ‘yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonald’s last night. Must feel like s**t having a mom that works at McDonald’s.’”

“Kid B – ‘At least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work.’”

“English teacher far louder than he realized, ‘DAYUM!’”

“The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on…” – Nutella_Zamboni

Some said jokes and comebacks were all in the timing.

“I saw a clip of a standup comedian the other day, and he said something along the lines of, ‘The first time I had sex, it was terrible… the first time I had sex…’”

“A woman chimed in with, ‘You mean yesterday?’”

“The crowd laughed for a while, and while the comedian is waiting for them to calm down, you can see the gears turning in his head.”

“Once it gets down to basically a few chuckles, he just said, ‘Glad you remember,’ and the crowd just lost their s**t, it was amazing.” – JacenCaedus1

“I have a twin brother. I’m older.”

“He once told me when I came out, they knew it was a mistake and immediately tried again.”

“I told him he was the ‘Buy one, Get one of equal or lesser value free’ deal.”

“There was a fight after that one.” – dustyrags

While we’re not all great at giving someone a comeback in the moment, we can all appreciate those moments when we surprise ourselves, or when someone else achieves the perfect clapback.

These comments are often witty or brutal, perhaps even surprising, but the best thing generally is how memorable these moments are, even decades later.

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Therapists Divulge The Most Common Secrets That Patients Are Scared To Tell Them

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

Those who seek professional counseling are there because they want to improve their mental health and need guidance.

However, getting some patients to open up on their first meeting seems to be a challenge because they are struggling with their self-imposed shame.

Curious to hear about the things patients finally opened up about in a therapy session, Redditor Music-and-wine asked:

“Therapists, what is something people are afraid to tell you because they think it’s weird, but that you’ve actually heard a lot of times before?”

Redditors who are in the field provided their insights.

Resisting Impulses

“Intrusive thoughts. Nearly everyone has thoughts about pushing the old lady onto the subway train, swerving into opposing traffic, or stabbing their loved one in the stomach while cooking dinner with them.”

“Some folks, however, take these thoughts very serious that believe that they might act them out. It’s called thought-action-fusion. Most of us are able to brush them off, though.” – vedderer

Normalizing A Common Tendency

“Unwanted intrusive thoughts are normal and do not mean you are a bad person (yes, even intrusions of sexual/religious/moral themes).”

“By definition, these are thoughts that are unwanted bc they go against your own values and highlight what you don’t want to do (eg, a religious person having unwanted blasphemous images pop into their mind, or a new parent having unwanted sexual thoughts about their new baby).”

“However normal these thoughts are (over 90% of the population), the moral nature of these thoughts mean that often people experience a lot of shame and take many years before they first tell someone about them.”

“Edit. Because this is getting more visibility that I realised : The occurrence of these thoughts/images/urges are normal.”

“The best way to ‘manage’ them is to accept that they are a normal (albeit unpleasant) brain process, and a sign of the opposite of who you are and are therefore v.v.unlikely to ever do.”

“Let the thought run its course in the background while you bring your attention back to (insert something you can see/feel/hear/taste/touch). I usually say something like ‘ok mind!”

“Thanks for that mind! I’m going to get back to washing the dishes and the sound/sensation of the water while you ponder all the nasties.”

“Carry on!’ I literally say it to myself with a slightly amused tone bc I am always genuinely amused at all the wild stuff my brain can produce!!” – cbearg

The Thing About Grief

“The amount of people I see who feel like they should be grieving a ‘certain way’ and are afraid that they ‘must not have loved someone,’ or, ‘must not have cared.’ People grieve in all sorts of ways. The ‘5 stages of grief’ are bullsh*t.”

“I was consulting with another clinician who was seeing a couple whose daughter had died. The wife was convinced that the husband must not have cared about her because he ‘wasn’t grieving out loud’.”

“In reality, while she had been going to support groups and outwardly expressing, he had been continuing to work in a garden that him and his daughter had kept when she was alive, using that time to process and grieve as he did.”

“Both were perfectly fine ways of grieving, however it is expected that ones grief is more than the other. They both ended up working it out however, he driving her and others to their weekly support group, her attempting to work in the garden with him on the condition that they didn’t talk. Really sweet.”

“To that same extent, the amount of people who are unaware of their own emotions and emotional process is astounding. So many people feel only ‘angry’ or ‘happy’ and worry something must be wrong with them otherwise.”

“Normalizing feeling the whole gamut is just as important. Recognizing what we’re feeling as well as what it feels like in our body when we’re feeling is incredibly helpful for understanding how we process and feel.”

“As a whole, how we treat emotions as a society is kinda f’ked. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.” – sredac

Feeling Out Of Place

“I’d say a common one is believing that there’s something innately, irreparably wrong with them that makes them unable to ever truly ‘fit in’. For a lot of people it’s such a deeply ingrained belief that it can be extremely painful to acknowledge or express, regardless of the level of personal success in their lives.” – GuidedBySteven

Common Topics

“Two topics come up with regularity: when someone discloses to me that they were sexually abused as a kid, and/or when some is experiencing suicidal ideation. Both are something I hear from clients every single day, and so I don’t find it weird at all.”

“But, when I have someone in front of me who’s talking about it for the first time, I know it’s important to validate the fact that even though I might be talking about this for like the fifth time that day, they have never talked about this EVER, and are in need of gentle care to feel safe.” – HighKeyHotMess

What Makes People Happy

“That they do not know what they enjoy doing. Often they have people in they’re life, including therapists, say ‘try to do something fun today’ or ask ‘what do you like to do when you have free time?’”

“Many people I work with do not know what those are. Once I explain that I dislike these statements /questions because they assume people should know the answer, and that many people don’t, I can watch as they relax, take a deep breath, and say something to the effect of ‘oh my, that’s so good to hear. I have no idea what I like to do. That’s part of the problem’.”

“More often than not they feel like they should know and that everyone else their age has it figured out. They are embarrassed to say that they don’t know when in fact not knowing is very common. I couldn’t even try to count how many clients I’ve had this conversation with.” – ljrand

Not Knowing Where To Start

“A common one in the time I was a therapist was simply ‘I don’t know.’”

“You’d be surprised how reluctant people are to admit that they don’t know why they’re feeling how they are. But that’s exactly why you’re (or were, I’m not a therapist any more) sat there with me; so we can figure out why together.”

“It always put me in mind of a line from America by Simon and Garfunkel:”

“Kathy, ‘I’m lost’ I said, though I knew she was sleeping. ‘I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why’.” – kutuup1989

The Stigmatization Of Sex

“Psychologist here. Basically, anything having to do with sex. There’s so much shame. Sexual abuse. Sexual fantasies and fetishes. Erectile dysfunction. Infidelity. Becoming sexually assertive.”

“I’ve been told that I have a good ‘psychologist’s face.’ I try not to have a strong reaction to normalize the discussion. With adolescents, they are extremely anxious to tell me if they’ve relapsed or aren’t doing well.”

“They cut one night or they were suicidal. They’re having a lot of negative self-talk or panic attacks.”

“They’ll come in, pretending everything is okay. It’s usually in the last 10-15 minutes that they’ll say something. They’ll reveal that they worried they’d let me down.”

“That I’d be disappointed in them. It usually turns into a discussion about policing other people’s feelings and tolerating emotions.”

“I explain that I care about their well-being and it’s my job to monitor my emotions and reactions, not their role.” – MyDogCanSploot

The takeaway from this thread is that psychologists and other therapists have heard it all and they are there to help patients, not judge them.

While it’s easy to say patients should shed their guilt when opening up about their issues, they should be proud for taking that first step by showing up.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

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People Break Down Which Modern Day Bad Guys Will Get A Future Image Reboot The Way Pirates Did

Nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

We look back at the past through rose-colored glasses and decide the difficult thing we went through wasn’t really that difficult, or it taught us a valuable lesson, or it was the best moment of our lives.

Nostalgia doesn’t just work on events though, it can do a wonderful job at making yesterday’s villains the heroes of modern stories.

We see this all the time with Revisionist histories that take cruel and monstrous figures and morph them into benevolent and wise leaders.

With this in mind, Redditor YanTyanTeth asked Reddit:

“300-400 years ago, pirates were a terrifying force to be reckoned with.”

“Now they’re family friendly figures of fun.”

“What will be their modern day equivalent a few centuries from now?”

Society has a short memory.

“Bloods and Crips type gangbangers, motor bike gangs, hell in 500 years the memory of people like the nazis, bolsheviks, and Al Qaeda will be such distant memories people might like them.”

“People dress up as Vikings for Halloween.”

“Atilla Th Hun was a good guy in Night At The Museum.” ~ devilthedankdawg

The Irony is not lost on us…

“ISIS … Just imagine the irony of western kids playing with ISIS figurines”

“Edit: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and the award. I really enjoyed reading all your comments” ~watergate_boi

Revisionist history isn’t just for madmen!

“In 400 years cancer will be so cured that ever being seriously ill with it will be forgotten too. Then it’ll be inaccurately represented in historical stories whenever an illness is needed…”

“A: are you coming out tonight?”

“B: no sorry I’ve got cancer”

“A: ok! Well catch you tomorrow!”

“B: lol ok!” ~ Sell200AprilAt142

Two sides of the same coin?

“ICE and Immigrants.”

“Instead of cowboys and Indians.” ~ spderweb

Some took a broader view of the question.

“Possible.”

“The irony, though, is that we remember pirates fondly because at least some pirate ships were more egalitarian than their legal counterparts.”

“You were treated better by your peers on a pirate ship than on a privateer’s crew… at least, that’s what is commonly believed.”

“That isn’t true these days. Drug syndicates and gangs are just as ruthless as legal business corporations.”

“The sole good thing that can be said about illegal organizations, that can’t be said about some legal ones, is, I suppose, that they offer employment to people who would otherwise be complete outcasts.”

“But that’s not an artifact of them being good— it’s a consequence of our society being so sh*tty.”

“I think movies and books have an influence here.”

“Fiction requires balanced characters, even among your antagonists.”

“A bad guy with no redeeming qualities is lazy writing. But in the real world, people with no redeeming qualities exist— they’re not even uncommon.” ~ michaelochurch

The siren call of the Highway.

“Bikers in general.”

“They’re already being ‘diluted’ from predominantly (or almost exclusively) outlaw types into a subculture.”

“People who ride the traditional Harley and Harley-like cruisers already often dress the part, and try to give off an air of rebellion and counterculture, while doing things like charitable events.”

“We’ve had around 100 years of biker counterculture, and gone from the progenitors to the subculture I speak of. In another 200-300 years, I could easily see a ‘Jack Sparrow’ type biker character.” ~ Euchre

Some tried to give context to our fascination.

“Instead of looking forward, we should look back.”

“A lot of pirates of the past actually had political motivations/capabilities and commanded small navies.”

“Others acted as toll stations on popular sea routes.”

“Our views of them have been severely slanted by Hollywood. There were also several african/black pirates who became commanders.”

“We tend to think of most pirates as white, which was not entirely the case.”

“There also was an entire history of pirates inside the Mediterranean (Ottomans and Arabs) that has been completely ignored by history.”

“We tend to look on pirates as dirty criminals who were ugly and disabled, when in fact many were competent and rich.”

“My feeling is modern elites don’t like to expose stories of successful rebels in the mass media.”

“Anyone who rebels in a movie or story has to eventually be suppressed, with the message being that you can’t win against authority ultimately.”

“You can go out in a blaze of glory, but you’re going to lose.”

“The movie ‘Outland’ is a bit of a sci-fi space pirate movie, or at least one where a security guard (Sean Connery) sets up a defense against a hit squad.”

“Other than that, there’s Han Solo, and maybe a bit of Captain Kirk.”

“Other than the, the future pirate story is pretty underdeveloped, but there are past pirate stories that would make great ‘yarrrrns’ as well!” ~ soundtrackband

Some fell back on the innocence of youth.

“In 6th grade I DID know they had something to do with hookers and I did a pimp voice/persona and all the girls at my lunch table called themselves my hoes and it was a big f*cked up joke that we all thought was hilarious.”

“Kids are messed up.” ~ Schnitzelgruben

We don’t even have to go that far back.

“Narcos, we don’t even need a century to know that, just how people idealizes the figure of Pablo Escobar and others infamous narcos in Latin America” ~ Molokon92

And…

“Yeah, the way they are presented is problematic.”

“At least movies like Sicario show the brutality of the narcos/cartels.”

“If anything, movies covering narcos/cartels should at most do what Godfather 1 and 2 did, where it was more matter of fact than glorification.”

“That being said, I wont fault a movie for glorifying the wealth and excess just like I didn’t fault Wolf of Wall Street.” ~ karsh36

Historical revision is a dangerous game.

We take the parts of our past we don’t like and paint over them so they’re a little easier to deal with.

The danger, of course, is we forget the past was filled with monsters to be learned from and avoided.

Be wary of false histories, but don’t forget to have a little fun along the way.

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Contented Gen Xers In Their 40s Share Their Best Advice For Millennials And Gen Z

Happiness is one of those vague, nebulous, concepts we struggle do define but we all just sort of “get.”

In theory, at least, we understand that happy looks different for everyone. In practice, humans have this really nasty habit of completely and totally forgetting that fact applies to them, too.

Reddit user peeledraspberry asked: 

“People who are 40+ and happy with their life, what is your advice to people in their 20s?” 

Yeah it’s okay for everyone ELSE to struggle, but not you. YOU must be perfect.

Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean, I know we’re all out here sobbing along to “Surface Pressure” for a reason. It’s okay. You’re among friends.

All of us need little reminders every now and then or we end up getting in the way of our own happiness. Let’s take a look at what advice actual happy human beings of Reddit had for the rest of us mere mortals.

Get ON My Lawn

“I hesitate to give advice, being unqualified to do so.”

“Instead, here are some points that may or may not be worthy of consideration:”

“Time is very short, and as you get older it speeds up more and more.”

“Time is more important than money. In theory, you could end up a billionaire. But nobody is ever a ‘time billionaire.’ Rich or poor, you’re gonna get maybe 100 years at the absolute max, and probably not that much.”

“There will be several versions of You as you walk your path, but one version that kind of colors all the other versions. This version you could call ‘the real you’ It pays to spend time figuring out who that real you is.”

“You will have to deal with people. Learn how to leave them happy to have been in your presence, and you will not lack for friends and loved ones.”

“Speaking of loved ones: just because someone is a blood relative, it doesn’t mean they’re worth a shit. If your parent, sibling, or child is a complete a-hole unworthy of your attention, don’t waste further time on them.”

“Find something you love to do, and do that. Do it every day. It doesn’t matter if you make money at it, or get recognition because of it.”

“Do it like Henry Darger did his writing and drawing, and like Vivian Maier did her photography. Do good work. It is its own reward.”

“I am a geezer, 64 years old. It does not have to suck being old. I think it’s f*cking great, for many reasons.”

“If you’re ever in my town, drop by and get ON my lawn.”

– clit-eastwould

Three Things

“I am 40 years old and I have three pieces of advice for anyone in their 20’s”

“One: Accept that perfection doesn’t exist. Your relationships will have problems, your car will break down, someone else will anyways have a better phone, a newer car, or a bigger house than you, no matter where on the social ladder you stand.”

“Constantly chasing perfection will keep you permanently stressed. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to better your life, just know that if you expect perfection you will never be statisfied.”

“Two: Pay attention to your diet and health. I have been working out at least 4 times per week since my mid 20’s. I am fitter, healthier and look younger than almost everyone else my age.”

“Three: Don’t stop doing the things you love. Even though I have a wife, kids, job etc. I still make time to play video games, draw, write stories, read comics, play basketball, listen to music, etc.”

“There is no reason to become a miserable old bastard!”

“People ask how I find time to fit in all these hobbies. Honestly, I have to make the time.”

“Apart from working out (which I do at 6am before everyone else wakes up) I’m not doing these things every day.”

“I only game on the weekend if I get the chance, I read ebooks on my phone when I’m killing time in the day, I may buy a comic 2-3 times a year and I can usually find a few hours in the week to draw.”

“I still make time to chill out with my wife in the evenings and do things with kids. I just fit my hobbies in between them. I also don’t watch much TV or go out, but that’s just me.”

“The point is to make sure you keep doing stuff you actually LIKE.” 

– Denaris21

Turn Around And Change It

“I was a raging alcoholic in my twenties and thought I would never recover from it.”

“I never found a real job using my first degree or my masters. Part of it was because I was always drunk, part of it was the job market at the time.”

“I went back to school in my thirties and found something I like a whole lot more. Now, I’m married, nearly ten years sober, and have a great job.”

“My point is, if you end up on the wrong path or don’t like where you are, there’s always time to turn around and change it. Too many people just assume they’re stuck where they are and stuck with the issues they have.”

– yeahwellokay

Not A Race

“It’s not a race!”

“Stop comparing yourself to others. Just because they did things sooner than you, doesn’t mean they’re happier or better.”

“Try to start good habits. It is a little rough at first, but in a few years it will be second nature. Do this with things like cooking, cleaning, saving money and self-care.”

“It is okay to not like someone. It is also okay to have someone not like you.”

“People are going to not like you for no reason. That is okay. It’s a “them” issue and not a “you” issue.”

“Don’t be an ass to everyone and give them reason to dislike you, but also know that you are under no obligation to put up with someone else’s bad friendship.”

“There is no shame in seeing a mental health professional.”

– MayUrBladesNVRdull

“It’s been really hard to remember that things aren’t a race.”

“I am 29, graduating college this year, and so many of my classmates are 18-22 with family support, great connections and networks, no weird backstory to explain, no major disabilities (thanks military).”

“I know once I get somewhere I can thrive, I will; but it’s definitely hard to not feel like I’m behind.”

– redwingpanda

“I’ve been feeling bad about this.”

“Entering sixth year of college (graduating in the fall, though) and I just feel bad and like a failure. I feel like I’m not going to get a job when I get out, and I feel pressured to live up to the success my older brother has despite my parents say that’s not important.”

“There’s a lot of other things that hit home in this thread. Struggling from substance abuse, being physically unhealthy and having body image issues are a few others.”

“I want to be a better and successful person, but I’m afraid I’m never going to find the motivation. I’m afraid I’m going to allow myself to be mediocre for the rest of my life.”

“I really should get a therapist like you’ve said.”

– Shrumples1997

Out Of The Hole

“Don’t put yourself in ridiculous amounts of debt trying to portray a certain image. You’ll spend your entire life trying to get out of the hole you dug or you’ll have to declare bankruptcy.”

“Set aside enough money to cover 3-6 months of expenses for emergencies just like now. Moreover, save now for your retirement years. It doesn’t require much and if you have it taken directly from your paycheck you won’t be inclined to not pay yourself first.”

“Take care of your body. Exercise to maintain a healthy weight and good cardiovascular health. As you get older, it’s much harder to maintain these.”

“Enjoy the days of your youth without going overboard.”

“There is nothing wrong with having a good time, yet if you are always waking up wondering what happened last night, why you can’t remember how you spent so much money or you always have a hangover; you should tone it down a bit.”

“Don’t take advice or criticism as a personal attack.”

“Most times the people who care about you have observed behavior in you which is off putting, doesn’t reflect who you really are or could be or would make you a more rounded person.”

– RmeMSG

Anyone else feeling a little attacked?

No?

Just me?

What’s your best advice for happiness? Are there mistakes you want us all to learn from? Wins you recommend people aim for?

We’ll see you in the comments.

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Waiters Share The Worst Valentine’s Day Disasters They’ve Ever Seen

Though many justifiably call Valentine’s Day nothing more than a holiday called into existence by jewelry and greeting card companies, chocolate and flower vendors and the service industry, most couples can’t help but celebrate it anyway.

And there’s no shame in that.

Why not spend a night with complete focus on a partner and all things love and romance?

But for a variety of reasons, the holiday can still end in pure chaos.

Redditor Hamsternoir banked on that unfortunate reality when they asked:

“Waiters what Valentine day disasters have you witnessed?”

Of course, marriage proposals are frequently a piece of these stories.

“I was eating in a fine dining establishment (Chili’s) several years ago. In the next booth was a really young guy who had a big bunch of roses on the seat next to him.”

“He kept looking at his watch, looking at the roses, and popping open a ring box for a peek at the ring.”

“He did this for a half hour or so, then began calling and texting someone (presumably his girlfriend) over and over.”

“As we were waiting for our check, he hands my wife the roses, mumbled something, and walked out.”

“Poor guy.” — AZScienceTeacher

It’s even worse when there’s a secret audience. 

“Not a waiter but I was a pastry chef at this big resort in cape cod. We got a special order from this guy who was coming in for his anniversary ( Valentine’s day). He wanted his desert to have ‘Will you marry me?’ written on it so he could pop the question when it came out.”

“He called ahead to the front and back kitchen, even came in himself that morning to make sure it was good to go. The whole crew was behind him. We had cooks all night coming in the ask if it had happened yet.”

“I wrote the inscription on the plate and dressed it to the nines with gold leaf and expensive chocolate. I’m taking a picture of the plate just before it’s set to go out and notice our head waiter come in with a weird look on his face.”

“He says plainly ‘They don’t need it’ “

“She broke up with him before the entrees hit the table.” — jeanlukepikard

In one case, the waitstaff became directly involved.

“There was a note in our reservations that it was an engagement, they wanted champagne, a specific seat, bunch of other stuff. The server comes up to the table with something like ‘so I read we’re celebrating an engagement, congratulations.’ ”

“Confusion from the woman; glaring from the guy. He hadn’t proposed yet. She ruined it.” — ChefHannibal

For one Redditor, the proposal remains a mystery. 

“Old man proposed to old woman. He tried to get off the chair to kneel, tripped and fell and I assume broke something since he couldnt get back up and we had to call an ambulance.”

“My manager had to drive her teeth to the hospital separately because she had taken them out to eat her soup (lord knows why) and left them on the table in the confusion.” — rancid_cu**_bucket

There are, however, other versions of love lost.

“They came in at lunch the day after, so it was pretty empty but it was still for a Valentine’s Day date. They were both pretty nice at the beginning, the guy asked for a picture and whatnot.”

“As the meal went on, the dude got progressively drunker and by the time I brought the check out, the woman was gone.”

“When the dude gave me his card, he said ‘I’ll give you a bit of advice. If you’re taking a girl out to break up with her, do it at a McDonald’s and not an expensive restaurant’.” — _StanleyYelnats

Breakups aren’t always such a spectacle, though.

“These two were on a date and the guy went to go use the bathroom, The girl just up and leaves after he went to the restroom. When the guy came back he sat around for awhile until asking his waitress where she went.”

“She replied with saying that she left. The guy then asked the waitress if she would go on a date with him. The waitress said no.” — OffensiveGender

For this waiter, the relationship in question was hers.

“I was working as a waitress in a Sushi restaurant and Valentine’s Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift.”

“This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine’s Day off and we’d just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after.”

“Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION.”

“He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous.”

“Needless to say we didn’t go out again. Ever.” — venustas

And there were those juicy stories of infidelity.

“In college I waited tables and Valentine’s Day was always a good one in terms of tips.”

“I once saw a couple come in to eat, halfway through the dinner the mans wife shows up to surprise the couple. The wife took the wine bottle and poured the remnants on the husbands head, took off her ring and told the girlfriend she could have him.”

“He tipped me a $100” — kobra_kyle

This one doesn’t involve a waiter, but it’s just too wild to leave out.

“I was a delivery driver for a fruit bouquet company and I had two arrangements from the same guy.”

“Routes were made for me and the truck was loaded so there was no way I could mess this up. Delivered both arrangements to the appropriate address.”

“I headed back to the store to find the store owner and the guy who sent these in an argument. This idiot put the wrong name to the houses. And it was on the card with the arrangement. Along with the phone numbers.”

“So both women called each other and then called the guy. He tried to say it was my fault. Then the person who took the order. He ordered it ONLINE. All we did was import the order.”

“I hate valentine’s day because of that place but man was that great.” — misfits90

And finally, one waiter saw them all. 

“I had a section one V-day that had a marriage proposal, a 40th anniversary, and a break up all at the same time.”

“The break up was the worst. The guy brought his high class date a gift; a mini ceramic bear holding balloons. He presented it when I was at the table and she looked at it like it was a hot turd.”

“I just knew this was not going to end well. She left at the end of the meal and must have said something because he stayed at the table for another 40 minutes, head down and crying. I felt bad, he saw the celebrations going on at the other tables.” — Odd-Examination

So for those of you celebrating V-Day this year, consider a few lessons: propose in private, don’t use the day to save a relationship, and if you’re cheating, beware!

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Doctors Confess How They Behave When They Are The Patient

Something funny that I’ve always wondered… who’s the doctor for my doctor? Does that doctor have a doctor? And what about THAT doctor?

Wouldn’t there be an imbalance of some kind eventually? Does every doctor have a doctor in some never-ending loop? This has to be one of life’s greatest mysteries, right?

Here’s another question: What do doctors talk about when they go for their own medical checkups and yearly physical exams? Do they correct each other? Argue over results?

Oh, to be a fly on the wall…

As humorous as this is, remember: Doctors are people, too! They have to go to the doctor just like the rest of us (even if they refuse to answer my question about this seemingly never-ending loop of doctors).

But there might, in fact, be an answer!

Doctors were candid about their own experiences at the well, doctor after Redditor Still-Tangerine2782 asked the online community:

“Doctors of Reddit, what’s it like when you go in for a doctor’s appointment?”

“Do you and your doctor discuss what’s wrong with you like it’s a group project? Do you not go at all because you’re your own doctor?”

“It depends on what I’m going in for.”

“It depends on what I’m going in for. As a background, I’m an oncologist so I’ve trained in internal medicine before. For most internal medicine-type stuff, I don’t bother going in unless I need something that I can’t easily get for myself (e.g. labs or images).

“For specialty stuff I wasn’t trained in, I go in and try to give them the best history I can, but let them do their own thing.” ~ alkahdia

“Fastest consultations ever.”

I don’t get involved in the management. I let the doctor seeing me lead that unless they missed something huge and I would just double-check.”

“The main difference is I can present the whole history and relevant info in about 30 seconds flat and the doctor with that info can just give me the management plan in about the same time.”

“Fastest consultations ever. Very methodical.” ~ triple_threatt

“I don’t go often but when I do…”

“Doctor here (neurologist) I’m not good at going to the doctor. I don’t go often but when I do I usually just STFU, especially if it’s a field of medicine I have no idea about (like say…derm).”

“That being said, the doctor usually knows I’m a physician as well, and so the language tends to be more technical.”

“I also find that we practice less defensively with each other since we can be more open (“We could do ABC tests but honestly what you probably have is X so take this and if it doesn’t get better then we can do ABC”).” ~ Telamir

“Academically minded people tend to ask lots of questions…”

“The pace and density of the conversations is different, I’m sure.”

“I’m an emergency physician who has, over time, treated various physicians in my community including internists, surgeons, radiation oncologists, some from my hospital and some not. Keep in mind that each specialty is quite different from the others.”

“The Rad Onc, for example, thinks and speaks differently than the Ortho Surgeon, and I felt like my treatment of each of them was really quite similar to treating a professor of engineering.”

“Academically minded people tend to ask lots of questions and research stuff while you’re out of the room, as compared to populations that request a more paternalistic bent and just want you to tell them what to do so they can get on with their day.”

“I’m careful to credit that the number of hours that went into my family physician’s training is the same as mine; simply a different topic.”

“She knows tons of stuff about management and screening for chronic disease that I don’t, and I … well I know how to intubate people, manage a bad LSD trip, or use a jar of bubbles to distinguish between kids that are scared and kids that are head injured.” ~ procast1natrix

“For the most part…”

“I’m an ER doctor, and sometimes I have other doctors as patients. For the most part, they’re pretty good patients because they can give a good description of their symptoms in a way that’s useful to me.”

“They usually ask good questions and are well equipped to have an informed discussion about their diagnosis and treatment.

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to dial back my ‘patient talk’ where I simplify medical terms for laypeople. Sometimes it’s challenging if their area of expertise is totally unrelated to the issue at hand and they don’t recognize their limited understanding.”

“The worst patients are those who have just a little medical knowledge and think they know everything. Some version of: ‘My aunt is a nurse, and she said a need a whole-body MRI for this runny nose…’”

“As far as self-diagnosing, I usually deal with my own minor medical issues. If I noticed signs of something more serious, I would go to someone else.” ~ Yeti_MD

“It’s actually a strategy I’ve adopted…”

“Doctor here (family medicine).”

“I self diagnose most things, but for my 1-year-old daughter I decided a while ago that I don’t want to do that for her. So her pediatrician doesn’t know I’m a doctor – I never told her. I want her to treat me like any other parent, and explain everything to me like I’m 5 years old.”

“I’m afraid of being too nonchalant with my daughter’s health that I’ll miss something (or the doctor assuming I know more than I really do).”

“It’s actually a strategy I’ve adopted since on myself; if I go to a doctor (say a gynecologist for a routine check-up) I sometimes just don’t say what I do so I can legitimacy ask dumb questions about things that I should really know – or so that the other doctor won’t leave out important info that they assume I know for fear of insulting me.”

“On the other hand, my regular doctors do know, such as the gynecologist who saw me through my pregnancies, and that enables more complex and nuanced discussions about health decisions, as in debating questions and giving me options that he wouldn’t necessarily do with it he patients, because he can be sure I understand the medical pros and cons well once I’m given a basic explanation.” ~ HermioneGranger8888

“It is a bit dependent…”

“Doctor here – it is a bit dependent on the field of medicine involved.”

“For example, I don’t know much about neurological issues so if I went to see a neurologist I certainly wouldn’t be chipping in.”

“For more generic conditions I have previously offered my thoughts to my doctor about what it could be. Ultimately I still go to the doctor as they can prescribe drugs/order tests for me that would be difficult/questionable for me to do myself.” ~ drbigmac69

“When we do go in…”

“Doctor here. In general, we are not good about going to the doctor. For me, it’s physicals about half as often as recommended and that time I had strep a year and a half ago that didn’t resolve with whatever antibiotics I had in my medicine cabinet.”

“When we do go in, it is like a group project. We usually hash things out together but ultimately I am going to defer to someone with more expertise than me in that area who can make an objective decision.” ~ nellyann

“I always go to someone who doesn’t know me…”

“I always go to someone who doesn’t know me, and I wouldn’t say that I’m a doctor as well. On the other hand, my significant other is a doctor too, and whenever we feel something we do discuss it like a group project in which he always refuses any treatment until his symptoms get to the very worst.” ~ eatfart420

“It can be weirdly stressful…”

“I try to act like any other patient. Medical people can very much sabotage their own care by taking shortcuts or perhaps declining to approach their own problems the way other patients do.”

“It’s a mistake. I have seen harm done that way. I don’t come in for trivial things like self-limiting infections or things that are harmless because I know that they are. But I do go see my regular doctor for problems that really bother me or for routine exams like anyone else.”

“It can be weirdly stressful to be the doctor or the patient in this kind of interaction. I’ve learned to not let it bother me when I am the doctor seeing other doctors. It can be harmful to the doctor as a patient if you let that kind of interaction get to you.”

“I try not to generate stress for other doctors who see me and know what I am. That could be detrimental to me.” ~ Zapranotho777

“I keep my mouth shut…”

“Forensic pathologist here: I keep my mouth shut and let my doctor be a doctor. I have a pulse, so I am not the expert here. Doctors that self-doctor are scary and arrogant, in my honest opinion.” ~ TheresNoIinAutopsy

Well, it’s safe to say I learned a lot.

These answers are remarkably insightful. Next time you go to the doctor, you’ll have a newfound appreciation for them and what they do.

Doctors are people just like you, with concerns about their own health. Given their experience and knowledge, it also takes a lot of humility to just let other professionals do their jobs.

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People Divulge Their Past Minor Social Missteps That Still Keep Them Up At Night

Social missteps are quite common. Often, we are supposed to follow a set of social rules but no one seems to talk about what they are openly.

We’re just kind of expected to pick up the cues.

For some of us, those social missteps have lasting effects.

Anxiety effects 40 million U.S. adults making it the most common mental health issue. Around 15 million adults struggle with social anxiety.

Since it really is so common to lay awake at night thinking about all the ways you’ve caused an awkward situation, we went to Reddit to see exactly what those social faux pas were.

Redditor anfla56 asked:

“When you’re lying in bed at night, do you ever randomly remember some relatively minor social missteps or poorly chosen words you did/said years earlier?”

“And then beat yourself up over it even though it really wasn’t a big deal?”

“If so, what happened?”

Hopefully this doesn’t bring up any bad memories for you.

Talking to a cute girl.

“In 7th grade, a cute girl asked me to sit next to her. I said my mom won’t let me sit next to girls. My mom said no such thing.” – Risklotrman

“If you said CUTE girls you’d have been a total baller. So close.” – AccidentallyInterest

“When I was in 8th grade one of the hottest girls in our class, who had never spoken to me before, stopped in the hallway near where I was rummaging around in my locker, walked up to me, and said ‘Hey…your cologne smells good’.”

“I replied with a forceful, ‘I…I’m not wearing cologne!’”

“She said, ‘Oh, ok.’ and walked away.”

“I was wearing cologne.” – VaultBoy9

Wrong inside joke.

“I accidentally mixed up an inside joke with the wrong friend group with disastrous results.”

“Friend group #1: The ‘joke’ was when someone calls and asks who’s all there we would add Darrell to the list of names. Darrell wasn’t a real person. The joke wasn’t really funny, and made no sense out of context, but I guess that’s why it was an inside joke.”

“Friend group #2: I was hanging out playing some drinking games with a bunch of people that I hadn’t hung out with in a while. It was a kind of get together to remember a friend that they had who had recently died in a car accident. I didn’t know him that well, but I was always down to party.”

“Anyway the phone rings, and the person who answered started listing off names. Sorting my cards for another round of Presidents and A**holes I offhandedly said, ‘Heh and Darrell!’”

“It was the typical record scratch moment where everyone stopped and looked at me. Darrell was the name of the friend who had just died.”

“This happened in 2002 and I still think about it all the time.” – Redditor

“Oh man, I have a mixed up inside joke scenario. It wasn’t me, it was my neighbor.”

“My neighbor is morbidly obese and my mom is Korean, and they joke with each other about it. My neighbor makes racist commits to my mom, she makes fun of my neighbor’s weight.”

“It’s just part of their friendship. They often did it in public too, but it was always obvious when they were standing next to each other that it was inside joke.”

“At one point my neighbor was out with her husband (they’re both white). She was at a check out counter when she blithely remarked about all the damn Koreans taking over the region.”

“The check out lady just stares at her. Then the husband leaned over and said ‘It’s not as funny when [Dragonmeme’s mom] isn’t standing next to you’.”

“Cue my horrified neighbor desperately trying to explain that she wasn’t a racist, that it’s an inside joke. ‘My friend is Korean!’ which of course just made her look worse.”

“My mom lost it when she heard the story.” – DragonMeme

A difficult time laughing.

“When I was in fifth grade, our teacher said a joke in front of the class and everyone laughed including myself. After the laughter died down, a girl looked up at me and said. ‘You have a really damn disgusting laugh, ew’.”

“I became so self conscious about laughter since that specific, day, and after years I have trouble actually laughing. My brain kinda made it a habit to just smile or slightly chuckle at something, even if it is really funny.” – precious3tears

“Omg This! When I was in 7th grade I had such a hard time in school. No self esteem at all. I was suicidal, no friends, etc…”

“The one friend I had was a very pretty girl (I’m a girl too) and she was so nice. Well we’re sitting in class and we’re laughing, like genuinely. I would always cover my mouth when I laughed but I didn’t that time because I was genuinely happily laughing.”

“The guy next to her turned to me and looked at me with such disgust I can’t forget it 10+ years later and he said. ‘You look like a man’.”

“I think of that to this day and it hurts like no other. I have never been comfortable with my smile, and always feel like I do look manly. It sucks.” – Hopefulwitch

Just blurted it out.

“Junior prom I blurted out during dinner to my date ‘I’m so bored’ and I have NO idea why it came out of my mouth. I’m pretty well-mannered and quiet. I forget how I tried to play it off, but I felt so bad.” – georgeangela

“I was sitting in a small group of friends in school, and my crush (literally the love of my life at that point) admitted she liked me. It was the happiest moment of my entire life. So naturally I said ‘Ew’. In front of everyone.”

“This was 2nd grade and I still think about it weekly.” – sweetcuppingcakes

Awkward situations because of religion.

“I went through a phase where I scolded people for reading harry potter because my parents told me it was evil. Lots of awkward situations because of that.” – Redditor

“The crazy thing is there is actually a lot of Christ mythology to the story. There’s a chosen one, prophecies of the death of the chosen one, and he dies in sacrifice of everyone else. Then comes back to life.”

“Nothing evil about it, just religious people being afraid of something they don’t understand. My mom remarried and became Pentecostal, it was a rough childhood to say the least.” – moonsnakejane

Being a jerk for no reason.

“For most of my education, I went to public school and like most kids, I was socially awkward. For High School, I received an academic scholarship to a private Catholic school.”

“It was a really big deal for my family. I didn’t know anyone at the new school. Between an odd combination of academics, sports and the tail end of puberty, I became very popular in this new school.”

“I wasn’t used to the attention and it definitely got to my teenage head. Nearly all of my social circles became around the new school and not with my old local friends.”

“I’m in my junior year, I head to a McDonalds for lunch with a few friends from the new school. Working the counter, I see a girl who I used to go to public school with that I used to have a crush on.”

“She just lit up when she saw me, she was so excited, and I … I was a sh*tty teenager and I just ignored her. I pretended I didn’t recognize her. She looked so deflated when I didn’t acknowledge her.”

“Note this was the 90’s. My family moved a few times after that. I settled down in a different part of the country after University. I never made it back to that town.”

“I’ve relived that a**hole moment for years now. Fast forward to one of those nights when I relive that moment, and I decide to look her up on Facebook to apologize.”

“I find out she died 10 years ago in an auto accident. Since I found out her fate, I feel even more awful about that moment.” – Redditor

“I’m one of the people who have been ignored by old friends many times (when younger for similar reasons I assume), and I will just say that I’m sure she had no hard feelings towards that moment.”

“If anything, it was a passing, small feeling of loneliness. Don’t beat yourself up over it, the fact you even looked her up to apologize—that gesture—is kind enough to cancel out the action (times 10).”

“All we can do in life is to move on and learn from our mistakes, especially those we make when we’re younger.” – indeciciveop

Didn’t hear the question.

“When I was 11, it was my first day at a new school and all the other students were also new. The Maths teacher started our first class by asking each of us about our education background (what school we came from, what they taught in our last year’s Maths class etc.), just trying to get a general idea of what kind of students he was dealing with.”

“Thing is, I was so nervous that I spaced out for a bit and got lost in my overthinking mind, so I didn’t hear the teacher’s questions to my classmates. When it got to my turn, the teacher just said ‘Now tell me about you’, assuming I understood what kind of information he was expecting.

“I just went straight into a monologue that started with ‘So I was born in the South Zone of the city, but my mom decided to move to our current neighborhood a few months after divorcing my dad…’.”

“And went on and on giving some very specific details about my short life. Everyone had a really confused look on their faces and as soon as I realized the teacher was also completely lost I stopped talking and went instantly red.”

“The teacher then said ‘that’s all really great, but I was only interested in what happened last year, not the last 10…’ and everyone started laughing.”

“Next day nobody remembered it anymore, but 12 years later it still comes to mind in pretty random moments.” – alexgvincent

A random hand shake.

“Freshman year of high school. It was one of those days before school starts and you meet your teacher and your parents are there.”

“My teacher was handing me a piece of paper and I didn’t see the paper so I shook his hand. He said ‘oh’ and my mom said ‘Ummm?’ and I panicked and said ‘I just wanted to be polite!’”

“So I still want to die when I think of that…..” – spaztasticnerd

“That’s actually a good recovery.” – AggressiveSpud

“Same happened to me at the AirPort. She held her hand out for my boarding pass, I shook it instead.” – bleachyanus

Couldn’t hold it.

“Bruh I can’t even begin to pinpoint one event.”

“I guess one thing is when I was 11, I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom three times during class and told me no. And well, sure enough, I couldn’t hold it any longer and there’s bullying for the next six months. Literally shakes me in bed about how I have never felt that low before.”

“SOMEHOW I managed to live through it though lol. We all got flaws. Mine is a bladder that urinates prematurely.” – RealisticYogurt6

Karaoke gone wrong.

“I was visiting Portland for a wedding that lined up with my birthday as well. We went out to celebrate and finished the night at a karaoke bar.”

“Realizing I’m too drunk to sing I pick ‘My Name Is’ by Eminem as my song to perform. There’s two versions of that song. One is the original release, the other tamed down (which you most commonly hear today).”

“The woman controlling the music put on the original, and off I went. One of the lines at the end is ‘running over lesbians in a spaceship while they screamin at me lets just be friends’.”

“I finish the song and I’m met by applause from my friends and one other table. The rest of the place is silent.”

“The DJ goes ‘nice job! Don’t know if it was the best choice for gay women’s night though’. And at that moment I wanted to leave my skin.” – johngannon8

This AskReddit post had over 96 thousand likes, so trust us when we say you’re not alone.

Take it from Redditor MayorScotch who commented:

“I think that is the key takeaway from these stories. No one remembers them but you.”

Let the memory fade knowing you’re the only one holding onto it.