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Divorced People Share the Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Over

Marriage is supposed to be forever, but it doesn’t often work out that way.

Sometimes with divorces, there’s a slow, tortuous buildup to the end with enough drama and/or introspection to fill a few diaries cover to cover. Then there are those marriages where everything combusts in a moment, like it did in most of these 19 stories from various Reddit threads.

Hopefully at least one fun divorce party was had after these proceedings!

1. Broiled was given lots of red flags.

Probably when I returned home and found all the furniture, food and my wife missing.

Another hint was the empty bank account.

2. Then shouldn’t cdc194 and his ex be going to hell for divorcing?

She wasn’t religious when we met, 10 years later she told me I was going to hell for believing in dinosaurs.

3. Buckaroo_Banzai_ just wanted a new shirt.

My wife put on 170 lbs over 10 years. I never said anything and supported her attempts at weight loss.

One day I was trying on an old Steelers jersey that didn’t fit, because I had gained 15 lbs in 10 years. I said, “Well, i guess it’s time to buy a bigger jersey.” her response:

“We’re not blowing money on a stupid jersey. You’ll just have to lose weight.”

Fucking

Done

4. Metyuadem saw the demise of two relationships at once. What a show.

When I came home to find her sister’s husband naked in my bed.

5. Nobody likes taking the bus, but this person’s ex could’ve kept that thought to herself.

On my 6th birthday I got a dog named Ace, an absolutely beautiful golden retriever chow mix that was my only friend throughout a very lonely elementary-middle school life.

My parents called me one day in July of 2009 while I was at work (I was stationed in my hometown after a few tours) telling me they were taking him to be put down because he was having some terrible medical problems and in pain.

I asked my Top if I could go and he threw me out of the office, on the way towards my folks house I called my wife at work (DQ) crying hysterically about it. I told her that she will have to either take the bus home or have her mother take her.

The bus was a straight route and would take 15 minutes, and her mom lived between her work and our house so it would be no hassle anyway.

Cut the story short, she starts screaming at me for caring more about a “stupid fucking dog” than her having to take the bus home, I hung up and that was it. I never kissed or hugged her again.

6. If Raven2002 wasn’t that hurt by his friend, he needs better friends.

I came home early from work because of a migraine. Found him in bed with my best friend.

Oddly, I was more hurt by her behavior than his.

Broomed them both that day.

7. GoingBackToKPax takes things literally.

The last straw? The one they kept snorting coke with.

8. This person’s ex was very upfront about their opinions/forcing them on other people.

When he said ‘okay, I won’t force you into converting anymore, but I’m going to pressure you a little bit and talk a lot about my religion to you so that you’ll accept the truth eventually’.

At least there was honesty involved in this failed conversion.

10. Molunkusmol delivered a great comeback on such short notice.

I suspected my then husband of cheating, so I followed him. I went to the house where he was and saw him outside with a little boy. I was angry and asked (not meaning it), “Who is that – your son?” He said, “Yes.”

Yikes – surprise – he had another family! Time to split! My response, “I don’t ever want to see you again. On your deathbed will be too soon.”

11. _Blood_Fart_ is familiar with the adventures of the sea.

After having sex, her lover would wipe his “nut” on my pillow.

Came home from work and laid right in it 2 times. She claimed I drooled in my sleep.

I know the taste of seamen, she could not fool me.

12. It’d be interesting to know how often 1angrydad consumes this fruit now.
Bananas.

We were grocery shopping, and I pick up a bunch of bananas and she immediately started in with “Why are you getting bananas?! You’re not going to eat them, put them back! Right now!”

Literally yelling at me and berating me in public for bananas.

When we got back to the house, I told her I was done.

One too many crazy episodes for me.

13. Shakeyjake discovered the power of writing.

When I sat down and wrote down all my life’s goals and ambitions and realized that when I imagined my happiest self in the future it didn’t include her.

14. It’s shocking that noisycat’s husband was shocked.

My husband informed me he was moving the girl he had been having an affair with into our house.

He wasn’t divorcing me – he fully expected I’d be passive enough to accept it.

According to his friends and family, he was “shocked” I left.

15. Zinere could’ve ended up without the dog, which would’ve been worse.

When she dropped me off on a major highway in Florida with no cell, no money, my dog and a bag of clothes that is when I made the choice this woman’s getting a divorce.

16. Was_creative_once shouldn’t be so modest about his math skills.

Came home from a seven month deployment overseas to a five month pregnant wife. I’m no mathematician but I figured that one out

Putting two and two together can be hard sometimes.

17. Emodius and his ex had different ideas about work.

Ex wife said “You should get a second job”. I’m like, “Bitch, you should get a first job”. I knew.

18. DidymusNoble doesn’t understand the importance of cat food.

My dad left a passive aggressive note about not leaving a can of cat food in the fridge. My Mom confronted him about the tone of the note.

A fight ensued, Dad tried to escape to his man cave, Mom made the mistake of barging in to continue the fight while he was trying to calm down, Dad erupted in 25 years worth of pent up rage.

A can of cat food…

19. It’s unclear what WHATS_WITH planned to do with the one breast implant.

The day she showed up with a boob job and new boyfriend.

I wanted to sue for the right one, but my lawyer didn’t like that idea. I wanted my half!

Presumably he intended to do nothing fruitful with the fake boob.

Well, that was something I’ll never forget. What a bunch of insane stories!

Do you have one that you want to share? Do it in the comments!

The post Divorced People Share the Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Over appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Describe Terrifying Moments They Knew They Had to Leave Immediately

You probably know this feeling – the hair stands up on the back of your neck, your heart starts to race, your palms are sweating, and even though there’s no obvious threat, everything inside you screams to get the heck out while you can.

Most of us will be lucky enough to experience this in what turn out to be fairly innocuous situations, but others….well, these 15 people are thankful every day that they listened to their baser instincts in that moment.

15. Just run as fast as you can.

When I was a preteen a strange man stopped and asked me for directions that didn’t make sense. As I’m trying to help him a van rolls up and the side door opens. I just booked it and never looked back.

14. Sometimes you just feel wrong.

When me and two of my cousins went camping with our family (probably about 8-9 years old) we stayed in a campground that had a playground near our spot. We would often go, just the three of us, to play and go back to our camper when it started to get dark because it wasn’t too far. But one day we were playing and we weren’t the only kids there but this man (40s) came up to us with a dog and started talking to my cousins and they were very trusting. He kept asking them if they wanted hotdogs or cookies and where they were from and telling us that his camper was just over there if we wanted snacks. This guy gave me a super weird vibe immediately so I looked at my cousins after being quiet the whole time and said “I think I hear grandma yelling for us, dinner is probably ready” and they argued and were confused but after I gave them the ‘look’ they just shrugged and listened to me. That guy gave me the heebie jeebies and we never saw him again after that day.

13. Our brains recognize when something is just “off.”

Went to a movie on Halloween when I was in high school with my boyfriend at the time. It was a huge theatre where there was a staircase all the way to the top row that opened in the middle of the row so you could sit on either side of the opening. My boyfriend and I sat in the back row on one side of the opening. We were watching the movie and around 30-40 minutes after the movie started, a guy walked in by himself wearing a big sweater and sat on the other side of the opening. He didn’t really DO anything at first but he gave me a bad feeling and I felt uncomfortable but I continued watching the movie. I noticed the guy seemed really nervous and wasn’t paying ANY attention to the movie. I really couldn’t figure out why but he was stressing me out big time and I just felt like we had to get the fuck out of there. I told my boyfriend that I was probably being silly but I wanted to leave. As we were leaving we informed the staff about the guy just in case.

Turns out they had been looking for him as people had reported seeing a guy of that description behaving strangely in the parking lot earlier. The police came and he apparently had quite a few large hunting knives hidden under his sweatshirt.

12. Always have someone with you to watch your back.

One night when I was very young and at a bar, I got quite drunk. Some guy propositioned me to go back to his place and I was up for it. I left my car, cuz he told me to just ride in since I had been drinking so much and we went riding down the road. It was quite a ways, and I started to question him where we were going. He said it was just up the road on the river.

He pulls over to the side of US1 and points to a two-story house on the river. It was very dark and the only light was of the Moon. We walk down the dock to get to the front door. He gets in front of me and is playing with the doorknob and as he pushes is it open he turns to me and says, please don’t make me turn the light on and let you see how dirty my place looks. So of course drunk and stupid, I said no problem. And probably giggled.

He guides me by the hand up a set of stairs. We get to the top and he says, I just have a mattress on the floor I hope you don’t mind. And again drunk and stupid me just sits down on the mattress not thinking about anything. As I sit there in the dark I start to get my vision becoming clearer. Everything looks off. The mattress has no sheet on it and I hear a whisper in my ear, Get Out!

I jumped up. I ran down the stairs. I ran out of the door and down the dock. I ran across u.s. 1, and up to a house that was across the street. I ran up to the door and started beating on the door and screaming for help I. I turn and look and the guy is running across u.s. 1 at me chasing me. I start screaming more and more as now I’m afraid this house is abandoned. Right as the guy gets up about ten feet away, the porch light turns on. The guy stops, turns around, and went back to his truck.

Poor guy whose door I was beating on came out and saw me crumbled, crying on his porch. The sweet man got in his car and drove me back to the bar 20 miles away so that I could get my car. I never saw him again. I never even knew his name. But he saved my life. I know he did.

11. Nothing about this is okay.

I used to drive for Lyft. Last year, I picked up a young couple from a bar at about 1:30 am. They were fairly chill and I figured it would be my last ride of the night. The dude asked me to stop at a corner store on the way to their destination so that he could get cigarettes. I didn’t see any harm in waiting so I stopped, and had a nice chat with the young woman while he was in the store. He ended up being about 5 minutes since everyone was trying to get their pre-2 am beer.

When he came out, he asked me to take him to a location that was in the opposite direction of their destination, but was only about a mile away. He said he wanted to meet some friends real quick and grab some beer. Since I figured it would be my last ride of the night, I said ‘fuck it, why not’ and drive him over there.

Now, I know the town we live in fairly well, but the direction that we were coming from was not a way I was used to going when I would go to this location. So when I turned onto the destination street, I missed the turn into the complex parking lot. I just came to a complete stop since the roads were empty and asked them if they just wanted me to park on the street or pull into the complex. This is when the two of them started arguing, as he suddenly wanted to go in and hang out for a few minutes while she didn’t want to go in at all; she just wanted him to do his thing and get out of there so they could go home.

And then something hit my car.

The sound is unmistakable to me, so I immediately started to look around to figure out what it was. But there were no other cars on the road, so that couldn’t have been it. Then I moved to the next thing on my mental checklist: of something didn’t hit me, then what did I hit? But that didn’t make any sense either as I’d been in park and couldn’t have hit anything. It’s at this point that the young lady’s attitude completely changed. She just kinda looked around, and then said ‘Can we just get out of here? It hurts and I want to go home.’

This was odd to me as she’d been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes at this point and hadn’t said a word about any kind of pain. She followed this up with ‘It hurts and I can’t move,’ put her had to her back, and pulled it out covered in blood.

What. The. Fuck.

So the guy starts freaking out, thinking that something in my trunk had exploded, but it was empty. As he reached over to tend to her I noticed something white sticking out of the seat. This hadn’t been there at the beginning of the night, so I asked him what it was. He pulled on it; it was a piece of the filler fuzz from my seat. It came out of the hole that had been made in the seat.

Because she’d been shot.

As soon he grabbed that fuzz we both had the same realization. He slammed shut his door and I drove them straight to the hospital, which was only a couple of miles away. That realization, and the follow up realization of ‘oh, someone could still shoot you while you’re sitting here’ was one of the most terrifying things I’d ever experienced.

10. That was a warning you were definitely right to heed.

In high school my buddy and I were riding our dirt bikes on the trails that ran around the logging roads in SW WA. Thousands and thousands of acres of undeveloped land with just gravel logging roads and trails.

We were on our way back to the truck when we stopped at an intersection to figure out which way to turn. Three dudes in overalls, no shirts and full face helmets rode out of the woods on quads. They rode a few slow circles around us then took off back into the woods. We booked the fuck out of there.

Turns out all that undeveloped land is also good for growing, cooking, and dumping.

9. Always be ready to have someone’s back.

I was walking home from school when a creepy older guy pulled over his work van, got out, was asking me for directions to a well known local place, and feigning like he didn’t understand what I was saying, in an obvious attempt to draw out the conversation. So that alone set off alarm bells in my head, but then he kept looking around the whole time, and I knew he was about to try something. Some lady happened to be walking from her house to her car so I yelled out, “Hey Mom! Can you come here and help give this guy directions?” Surprisingly, the lady actually came over and as she did, she yelled something like, “your father and your big brothers will be out in a minute, are you ready to go?”

He looked panicked, quickly got back into his car and took off. Once he left, that lady told me she knew what was up and made sure I was okay, before letting me use her phone to call the cops. Turns out I wasn’t the only girl he tried to lure/abduct. My faith in humanity was both damaged and restored that day.

8. Don’t brush it off.

This was by far the creepiest thing to ever happen to me. It’s a bit long but bear with me.

For context, I live only a few streets away from my workplace. This guy came to my floor one day for a team meeting. Ever since then he made a point to pass my desk when walking to the kitchen which doesn’t make sense logistically as the elevator basically opens right onto the kitchen.  Keep in mind, this guy is a complete stranger, nobody had ever seen him on our floor so my work friends KNEW he purposely came to our floor just to see me. He would make excuses to be near me whenever I am in the kitchen, eg to get a glass of water whilst I am washing my dishes.  He was always alone, never spoke to anyone, only watched me. This happened for about 3 months.

One day he happened to be downstairs at the time I finish work. He then knew EXACTLY what time I finish and waited downstairs for me everyday. He just sat there watching, waited for us to leave, then went back up.   One day I walked out with a friend.  We saw him sitting downstairs, quickly walked out of the building and parted ways assuming he would go back up now that we’d left.

Boy was I wrong.   My friend walked off in the opposite direction leaving me alone.  I had crossed the road and was just about to turn to the direction of my apartment, when some higher power compelled me to turn around. The feeling that rushed over me just then, I had never felt it before. It was like a mix of all the most negative emotions in the world all swirling into one massive super-cloud of fear.   When people talk about the flight or fight response, THIS was literally the epitome of that. To this day I still cannot understand what made me turn around when I generally never do that.

I was smart enough to go in a completely different direction so he wouldn’t know where I live.   He walked a short distance behind, crossed the road and checked to see where I was walking home to! Another male colleague happened to finish work at the same time this went down, followed him and waited to see what he was doing (stalking the stalker?).  He confirmed that he absolutely followed to see which direction I was going, and then went back into the building once I had walked too far ahead.  He would’ve only need to follow me a short distance to see where I lived.

This happened a few more times before I finally reported his ass and got him banned from entering all buildings associated with my company. Turns out he didn’t even actually work for my company (external contractor) and shouldn’t have even been in my building in the first place.

7. You’re allowed to be rude to creeps. Full stop.

My mom and I were walking our dog on a semi secluded dried up river bed (for context I was probably 7 or 8). A couple approached us, and instantly something in my gut told me that they weren’t safe. The man asked some weird question like, “is it just you and your daughter here?”‘ and then proceeded to say that he took pictures of kids for a living and that he would love to have me model for him. I didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation because after that I took off, and I’m ashamed to admit, left my mom and dog behind with the creepy guy. My mom was livid saying how rude I was and how worried she was because she didn’t know where I went, but the intense “leave now!” feeling that came over me totally clouded any sort of reasoning.

6. She just knew.

I was a 13 year old girl, camping with my best friend and her mom by a lake.

My friend’s mom was not the world’s best mother, and allowed my friend to get drunk. I had one drink, so I was a little tipsy, but still had my wits about me.

It was about 11 at night, and my very drunk friend randomly decided to go swimming, so I chased after her to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn’t hurt herself.

And god, I’m so glad I did.

Two men followed us out to the lake. We didn’t notice until my friend and I had swam a few dozen yards into the water. The men were very drunk, stumbling with their beer bottles in hand. They were catcalling us as they waded into the water, getting closer and closer.

My friend was so drunk, and wanting so badly to seem cool to these grown up men. Drunk 13 year olds aren’t the most rational thinkers. At first, she tried to respond to their questions. But I knew something very bad would happen if we didn’t get away, so I repeatedly whispered to her, “They’re going to rape us. They’re going to rape us. We need to leave. Now!”

I think that finally knocked some sense in her inebriated brain, and she agreed to swim towards the shore with me (away from the men).

They called after us, asking where we were going, and my friend yelled, “AWAY FROM YOU!!”

Back then, I second-guessed myself and wondered if maybe I had been a little dramatic. But now, as an adult, I realize just how much danger we were in, and I’m so thankful that 13 year old me knew to trust her gut.

5. You’ve gotta use your head all the time.

My car was stolen the very night I moved into my new house in a very good neighborhood. The neighbors had warned us that the neighborhood was being targeted at the time. They mentioned a women around the corner that opened the door for knockers in the middle of the night and they attacked her and robbed her and almost killed her.

We had reported the car stolen and did the police reports when it happened. Well, 2 nights later in the middle of the night I hear a knock on the door and they said open up, it’s the police. Well, since I had heard the story about the other lady, I was suspicious and did not answer. I grabbed my kids and put them in my daughter’s room because it had access to the roof from the window. I called the police to say that two men claiming to be police are pounding on my door. They said there was no police in the area and they’re sending a car. Turns out, these same guys stole the car and came back for seconds.

I did get my car back because they brought it with.

4. What in the world is wrong with people?

Once when I was about 11, I think, I was walking to my sister’s house. This kinda nervous, kinda sketchy looking guy stopped me and asked for directions.

To a street one block over. Now, sure, people sometimes get lost when they’re super close to their destination, but he was going to the main street in our district. Everyone knew where that street was.

I tell him, already suspicious of what this guy wants. And then he nervously says “How much?” Me, being fucking 11, go “Uuuh, what?” “How much? For one hour. Sex.”

As I was only one street away from my sister, I bolted out of there, not looking behind me. He asked a kid how much she was willing to prostitute herself for.

Admittedly, some kids do dress way more mature then they are. I however, did not. I wore whatever my mother was willing to buy me, and that particular day it was an oversized fleece sweater, ratty jeans and super cheap sneakers. I looked like a kid.

3. Whoa, this one is intense.

One of the times I ran away from my abusive mother, I was hiding out at an internet cafe. For context I was 12. I’d been there for a few days and the guy running the show overnight knew me and knew what was going on at home because I’d laid it on him a few months earlier when he was like “hey it’s 2am don’t you need to go home?”. He didn’t care about me especially, but he didn’t care enough to kick me out either so long as I wasn’t causing any trouble. He’d let me sleep under one of the desks at the back etc since it was always quiet as overnight.

Anyway this night I was just hanging out the back of the cafe bored with nothing to do and my brain was like “GO TO THE BATHROOM” but I didn’t need to pee or anything so I was like uh. And then my brain was more urgent “GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW” so I was like ok and did. Went into a stall and just kinda stood there for a few minutes confused then went back out. The guy on the front desk comes over and was like “dude someone just came in asking if I’d seen you, said it was your mother”

After a cycle of running away, getting caught, running away again I finally got away from her and had CPS take my allegations seriously 2 years later, and moved to different city but moved back about 5 years ago. I’m not really a believer in psychic links etc, but since I’ve been back I’ve sometimes had this… feeling in myself like a deep dread, and then I look around and see my mother walking down the road across the street or driving past me or something. I was getting a coffee about 6 months back and got that feeling so looked around, just in time to see her walking into the store.

2. That moment when everything goes wrong.

At a summer camp a buddy of mine and I climbed out onto a tin roof of a big hall that was built on the side of a steep hill. On one side you could climb out, right onto the roof, on the other side it was a 3 story fall onto concrete. Being teenage idiots, we climbed from the low side over the peak of the sloped metal roof and were inching down towards the edge of the high side. We had sneakers on, and had pretty solid footing, so it wasn’t outrageously dangerous.

Then, out of absolute nowhere, raindrops started falling. We both look at each and realize this is really bad and try to start backing up, but wherever there is even the slightest dampness, the metal is now completely slick. There is nothing to hold onto, the grip of the rubber shoes on dry metal was all we had. I look at him and see the panic in his eyes that I’m feeling, too. We are trying to move up this roof as fast as we can, and the raindrops are falling harder every second. I see him break completely free and start sliding down with his eyes frozen in terror. Somehow, miraculously, he stops sliding. I made it to the top scrambled down grabbed a branch and leaned back over the top, trying to give him something to grab. He eventually makes it high enough to grab the branch and I pull him up and over.

I have never felt panic like that. We were *so* lucky to make it out of there.

1. Oh my god I would have had a heart attack.

My girlfriend and I were car camping in the woods, a nice spot by a rushing river. The evening had gone well and we turned in for the night.

Some time later I wake up needing to pee. I do my business and head back to the tent. I’m sitting on the edge of the tent taking my shoes off when I see it….

A vaguely human shape suddenly jumps out in my mind and I freeze. I stare through the dark at this shape, just silhouetted by the dim starlight, wondering if I’m seeing things or if someone is creeping on us. Then the shape moves.

It rises up, becoming a larger outline partially blotted by the trees. BEAR my mind screams at me. I whip into action, reaching for my knife with one hand, while zipping the the tent closed for some paltry barrier between me and it…

It’s then that I hear a noise over the rush of the river… “Hey, wait for me.”

Apparently my girlfriend had come out after I did and I just didn’t realize it.

I’m never going to discount my sixth senses again, I can tell you that!

Do you have a story like this? Please, drop it in the comments!

The post People Describe Terrifying Moments They Knew They Had to Leave Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

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Enjoy These Anxiety Memes About Anxiety That Won’t Make You More Anxious

It’s time to just calm down already, put that anxiety aside and just BREATHE.

Phew… that was nice. Because that’s all it takes. Thinking about it.

HA!

No… just a long, cleansing breath in… and then out. Let that anxiety just melt away.

Okay, now on to these memes. Those should help too!

1. All day. All night.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. What even is reality anymore?!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. Agreed.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. Oh! That’s all I had to do?!?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. Do that thing!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Yes, that’ll do it!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. OMFG…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. What happened?!?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Not so fast…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Never go to sleep right away. Ever.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Oh, I’m you alright…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Well, how do you feel? Anxious as always. I knew it!

Okay, share how you feel in the comments anyway. Anxious or otherwise. Because we actually DO care about you. For reals.

The post Enjoy These Anxiety Memes About Anxiety That Won’t Make You More Anxious appeared first on UberFacts.

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Gen X’ers Will Appreciate These Memes More Than Napster

ALL of the talk right now is about boomers and millennials because they’re fighting. Which is fine. You all do your thing and we’ll just sticking around, minding our own business, making fat stacks and reading memes.

I mean… remember when music and movies were free on the internet because we were LITERALLY stealing them? And we thought that would keep going?

Yeah, you remember… and these memes will bring all those good times flooding back.

1. Wait… WUT?!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

2. Them were them dayz

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

3. And were they even taken out of class??

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

4. Good lord…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

5. Sleeves = Class

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

6. It’s on!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

7. That Atari life!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. OMFG!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

9. Oh yes.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

10. Oh… am I interrupting the class with my FRIES?!?!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

11. You’ll never know…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

How much did you relate to these memes? If you said, “A LOT!” then you are definitely Generation X. Like, full on Gen Xer.

Got any awesome memes you want to share with us? Leave them in the comments!

The post Gen X’ers Will Appreciate These Memes More Than Napster appeared first on UberFacts.

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14 Crazy Things That Happened When People Got Blackout Drunk

A lot of us know what it’s like to have a drink or two and start to get slurry, but how many of you have reached that stage where your memory just shuts off?

Because if you have, you remember it. Well, sort of. See, you remember NOT remembering. Because that’s a VERY strange feeling. You could have been walking around, talking, being silly, and your memory just shut off.

That’s what happened to these 14 people and they, thankfully, lived to tell the tales!

1. Jeezus…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Almost Whitney Houston’d it…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Well, you’re quite the asshole…

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Hahahaha… oh boy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Yes, sometimes it gets messy AF!

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. That’s bound to happen…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Well, that’s a win!

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. How do you know he’s not…?

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. At least you’re a happy drunk!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Well, sounds like you spent some more time in South America…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Haha, well, you weren’t wrong!

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Yeah, I’d worry too!

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Well… that’s one way to do it!

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. And there ya have it! Our winner!

Photo Credit: Whisper

Do you “remember” a particularly bad blackout situation? Care to share? We totally understand if you don’t, but it is nice to get these things off of our chests.

Share what you can in the comments!

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20 Funny Memes That Might Put a Smile on Your Face

We’re giving you all dem memes, yo! And there’s nothing you can do to stop it!

So, in the interest of time and getting to the fucking point already… we present 20 memes that are memeing so hard you won’t even know how to meme after you meme these memes.

MEME!

1. High. Class.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

2. Look! We found some pussy!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

3. Come on y’all…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

4. WUT!??

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

5. Sit. On. Dat. Couch!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

6. Turn stick?

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

7. We found a “never nude” in the wild!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

8. Shitting in high carpet

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

9. The only way to drink Miller Lite…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

10. Data… you bad…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

11. KILL THEM ALL WITH FIRE!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

12. O.M.G.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

13. This is true!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

14. It’s about damn time!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

15. Hey, the world wanted it!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

16. Wait… how did that happen??

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

17. Don’t we all…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

18. Yeah, and Hermoine married him, so….

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

19. They can earn money, though…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

20. POO: “Did somebody say coffee?”

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

And there you have it! Memes so memeing good, you’ll never meme that hard again. Possibly. We don’t know. We’re just making this shit up as we go along.

Alright, time for you to sound off! Let us know which memes did it for you in the comments!

The post 20 Funny Memes That Might Put a Smile on Your Face appeared first on UberFacts.

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12 People Share the Conspiracy Theories That They Believe

Do you believe in conspiracy theories?

Somebody on Reddit asked the questions: “What conspiracy theory do you believe to be true? What evidence led you to this conclusion?”

And boy did the people deliver!

Enjoy these 13 VERY questionable conspiracy theories… and please don’t believe everything you read. Okay?

1. The real conspiracy…

I’m starting to think that the really stupid conspiracy theories (vaccines causing autism, flat earth, lizard people, etc.) are intentionally spread by propaganda groups and troll farms.

They don’t care what stupid shit you believe, but they are very interested to know that you’re a gullible mark who will believe anything with no evidence, and won’t do research with authorities on the matter to find the truth.

If you want to spread misinformation, look for the people who do it as a hobby.

2. Oh snap….

The 10 year challenge all over social media is actually a way to record and gather more facial recognition data

11. The strange killing of John Lang.

The Fresno Police killed John Lang.

It’s been a while since I’ve read the story, so forgive me if I get something wrong. John Lang was a journalist who was very critical of the FPD. He wrote an article about how the police went into poor parts of the city and pulled cars over that parked in free parking lots or something like that. Eventually, he started noticing people watching his house, “FBI style.”

One night he asked on Facebook if he could stay in someone’s home for the night, as he knew the police were going to kill him that night. After no one let him, his house caught on fire.

3. F is for Fake

I’ve always speculated that a lot of priceless artwork and historical documents are actually replicas or copies.

Obviously a painting by a world-famous artist using a very specific technique would be very hard to fake, and I don’t think that every art scholar in the world is paid off in some grand conspiracy.

Rather, I just think that either the national treasures never left their vaults or that some national treasures actually were lost to history but they were copied.

4. The OJ theory…

O.J. Simpson didn’t do it, it was Jason Simpson.

Nicole Brown was nearly decapitated and Ron Goldman was stabbed 20+ times and had numerous defensive wounds. The prosecution claimed the injuries were consistent with two knives being used and produced a stiletto knife -good for stabbing but not cutting- and a Swiss Army knife -not really good for hurting anyone other than yourself. O.J. had only a small cut on his hand with no other evidence of having been in a fight. The only blood found in his home were a few drops of his own blood which were contaminated with a preservative used in blood draws.

Jason did it: Means: Jason was employed as a sous-chef and had his own knife set, and also owned a double-edged combat knife.

Motive: Jason was cooking alone at his restaurant that night and had specifically invited Nicole to come see him cook. She stood him up and went to Mezzaluna where Ron Goldman worked. Jason was known to be bothered by Nicole seeing men other than his father.

Opportunity: Jason’s timecard that night was handwritten for a time much later than when the restaurant shut down. His alibi changed multiple times, but the last time anyone can definitely account for him is around 9:30 that night.

The kicker? The day after the murders, O.J. retained one of L.A.’s top criminal defense attorneys for Jason and did not hire his own defense attorney until several days later.

5. The Unabomber was made by the government?!

When Ted Kaczynski (the unabomber) was at Harvard, he participated in a brutal psychological experiment led by professor Henry Murray. The experiment lasted for three years and by many accounts they seemed to have an extreme impact on Kaczynski’s psyche. I think this experiment was part of the CIA’s MKUltra project and destabilized Kaczynski enough to where he eventually went on his reign of terror of sending bombed packages around the country.

During the MKUltra project, the CIA collaborated with university professors on these mind-control experiments but a lot of the documentation was destroyed when people started to look into it.

TL;DR: The unabomber participated in an experiment that was a part of the MKULtra project that eventually led to him becoming a mass-murderer.

6. They’re listening….

All my devices listen in on me.

The other day I was arguing with my Dad about some chicken I thought had gone off (it was frozen for about a month so we weren’t too sure but my Dad was insistent that it was still edible).

Dad decided to ask Google, and low and behold the related searches even from the first letter were: “Is chicken edible after being frozen for a month” and “How long can you freeze chicken before it goes off”.

Also, my Mum and I use this tactic where if we need to ring up a company about something and it puts us in a queue, we swear at it. It then puts you on a priority list and you don’t have to wait as long.

Kinda sketchy on the company’s behalf.

7. What goes on up there?

I believe there is a ridiculous amount of pedophilia among the upper echelons of society.

Whether it is uncovered in the Catholic Church, British parliament, Hollywood, Washington DC, Saudi Arabia, the mainstream media doesn’t seem interested in shining a light on the networks and procurers who allow this practice to thrive.

Remember when Sacha Baron Cohen inadvertently uncovered an underage sex service in las vegas? Imagine the demand required for this heinous practice to exist. Offered by the concierge no less.

Who is the mystery party requesting secrecy in Jeff Epstein’s sex trafficking suit?

Why was Johnny Rotten banned from the BBC for attempting to expose Jimmy Savile for sickening crimes against children?

These types of stories are far too common, and they do not receive the attention they deserve.

8. Flight 370

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 wasn’t an accident.

There were definitely external forces that catalyzed its disappearance.

The flight path was diverted many times and there was a lot of shady stuff about some of the passengers and the pilot of Flight 370.

We may never know unless the plane is found.

9. The never-ending war…

That the USA deliberately gets into an armed conflict every decade or so for the purpose of ensuring that at any given time, they always have a critical mass of soldiers with actual combat experience.

They get in a lot of conflicts, and it seems highly probable that the leadership of a country that spends so much on national defense would highly value the institutional knowledge that comes from that kind of continuity of practical experience, even if it comes at a high human cost.

10. Michael?!?

Sony killed Michael Jackson.

He owned the rights to the Beatles discography.

After he died, Sony had remastered versions of every Beatles album available days after MJ’s estate sold the rights to Sony.

There’s no way they could have remastered the albums and published the CDs in that short amount of time.

11. The art market…

I believe that modern/minimalistic art exists solely for money laundering. It’s just a way for rich people to move money around. There’s a reason why paintings of plain geometric shapes sell for millions of dollars, and it’s not because the buyers are really into shapes.

It’s actually more of a loophole than a conspiracy. All countries, and most cities have “free port” zones. Free ports are areas, usually near a port where goods can be stored duty free because they are ultimately bound for another country.

HOWEVER, these “free ports” can also be used to store art. Art with incredible value, crated away never to been seen again. These free ports become untaxable, untraceable banks for the ultra wealthy.

This is a real thing.

I wanna be an oligarch, i hate having to play by the rules

12. And finally… this insane one about the Titanic

The Titanic/Olympic conspiracy.

It has credibility because there is photographic evidence. It’s really one of the only conspiracy theories I put much belief in.

The sister ships (and their third counterpart, the Britannic) were owned by White Star Line. The Olympic was put into service in June, 1911. She collided with another ship, the HMS Hawke, in September of 1911 and both ships were badly damaged. The accident was a financial disaster for White Star Line, as they were found to be liable for the accident and had to pay for the damages to both ships and legal fees for court cases associated with the accident. Repairs on the Olympic took nearly two months and parts intended for the Titanic, which was still being built during this time, had to be given to the Olympic instead. Only a few weeks after being returned to service, the Olympic suffered another minor incident where one of the propellers broke off and pieces intended for the Titanic were once again cannibalized.

At this point, the Olympic was looking like more and more of a money-drain for the White Star Line, though its achievement in not actually sinking despite a major accident that should have sunk it cemented the Olympic-class liner’s reputation as “unsinkable”, but I’ll get back to that in a moment.

The Titanic was finally finished and ready to leave port on her maiden voyage on April 10, 1912, having been delayed while new parts were made and delivered to replace the ones needed for the Olympic, and from there we all know the story. She went first to France, and then to Ireland, and then began her trek across the Atlantic to New York, during which she struck an iceberg and after nearly two hours, sank, taking 1,500 souls with her to a cold, watery grave that would not be seen again by human eyes for nearly a hundred years.

The Olympic went on to have a 24-year career as a successful ocean liner. She served during World War 1 where she earned the nickname Old Reliable for her impenetrable hull, and then in 1919 she was re-outfitted to be a civilian passenger ship and served as an ocean liner until 1935, when she was retired from the fleet. Her ownership changed hands several times and she was eventually dismantled and sold for scrap metal.

But what if it wasn’t the Titanic that sank? What if it was actually the Olympic? What if it was a ploy to remove a faulty ship that was costing them more money than she was bringing in for White Star Line and cash in on her million-pound insurance policy?

So here is the conspiracy theory. At some point after the Titanic was completed, they switched the identities of the ships. The new “Titanic” was actually the Olympic and the “Olympic” was actually the brand-spanking-new Titanic, fresh from the construction yard with zero problems and zero history. They intended for the “Titanic” to suffer some sort of failure that would result in the destruction of the problem ship so they could collect the insurance money. I doubt they intended to also cause the deaths of 1,500 people; the events that transpired which led to the sinking of the “Titanic” possibly happened purely by chance and the iceberg wasn’t part of their plan (i.e., they didn’t hire the captain to specifically ram the iceberg to sink the ship or anything like that). They probably had another plan involving the repairs that had already been made on the ship when it collided with the HMS Hawke.

In any case, it wasn’t really the Titanic that left port on April 10, 1912 — it was the Olympic.

After the sinking of the “Titanic,” White Star Line received a tidy sum of £1,000,000 in insurance money (or £89,289,575 in today’s money). This, of course, ruined the insurer, Lloyd’s of London. There’s an additional conspiracy theory that American financier and banker J. P. Morgan was in on this whole scheme; his company, J. P. Morgan & Co., financed the International Mercantile Marine Company in the hopes of becoming rich off of sea travel, but this turned out to be a bad investment because of the unpredictable nature of sea travel and travelers themselves. J. P. Morgan or one of his associates may have schemed with White Star Line, who was a subsidiary of this IMMC, in order to bankrupt the IMMC and allow J. P. Morgan & Co. to withdraw from the IMMC without breaking a contract. I cannot provide evidence for this beyond speculation.

However, I can provide evidence that backs up my claim that the two ships were switched and it was the Olympic who sank, not the Titanic.

This is an image of the RMS Olympic in drydock (I am currently unable to locate a picture of the Olympic while under construction with the name clear so you can be sure it definitely is the Olympic — I can only assume such a photo doesn’t exist):

http://www.greatships.net/scans/PC-OL35.jpg

Check out the very top row of portholes in the white railing. Count them. Look closely at the grouping of the last five portholes and how they are clustered with two close together, one set apart, and two more close together.

This is an image of the RMS Titanic being built:

http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2014/01/titanic-bow-construction.jpg

Look at the top-most portholes in the railing on the Titanic. Count them too. Look at the last five portholes and see that they are evenly spaced apart.

This is a picture of the “Titanic” before leaving on its maiden voyage. Check out the portholes in question:

https://timmyatt.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/titanic-harbour.jpg

Here is the “Olympic” in New York after the sinking of the “Titanic”:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/Olympic_in_New_York_cropped.jpg/1280px-Olympic_in_New_York_cropped.jpg

There is no reason why the ship builders would have changed the portholes on the Titanic when they were nearly done building it. That piece was not one of the pieces cannibalized from the Titanic to repair the Olympic that would have needed to be replaced by a different piece. The only answer is that the ship in the final picture, which is the ship that left port on April 10, 1912, and was met with a terrible fate near Newfoundland, was not the Titanic, but actually the Olympic. You can find pictures from newspapers further supporting this, as they clearly show the name of the ship and the wrong number/orientation of portholes.

I doubt we’ll ever know one way or another, since the wreck at the bottom of the Atlantic is quickly being covered with sediment and will be completely buried and inaccessible soon and pieces of the ship that was retired in 1935 and dismantled in 1937 are both difficult to find and difficult to authenticate, and anybody who might be able to either confirm or deny this theory are all dead.

If that last one didn’t satisfy your thirst for conspiracy theories, I don’t know what will!

So… do you believe in any of these? Have a better one to share?

Let us know in the comments!

The post 12 People Share the Conspiracy Theories That They Believe appeared first on UberFacts.

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Here Are the Origin Stories Behind 5 Iconic Memes

Memes are everywhere!

Whenever we search Google… they’re there! Even if we’re trying to find a serious image, we find that mockery instead. BUT… it is the perfect escape to share how you feel and ROTFL at the same time.

So hve you ever wondered where the most iconic images for memes came from?

Let’s take a look at the history of five memes we’re sure you’ve seen before…

1. Side-Eyed Chloe

Photo Credit: Imgflip

With over 17 million views on Youtube, this video Chloe was captured as maybe a little confused about going to Disneyland, while her sister, Lily, is crying hysterically. It didn’t take long for this to hit the internet and thus her side-eyed glare became a meme sensation.

2. Ermahgerd Gersberms

Photo Credit: Today

Who can’t laugh at the nerdy girl with the Goosebumps books, pigtails, and a retainer? This picture started circulated the meme world in 2012 and has changed text several times, like my personal favorite “ERMAHGERD MERSHED PERDERDER” and the original  “ERMAHGERD GERSBERMS”.

Maggie Goldenberger, the girl in the photo and now a nurse in Phoenix, was 11 when this was taken. She loved acting out made-up characters with friends. So she grabbed her  “costume” and shot a hilarious photo. She later posted on social media and a Reddit User reposted the pic.

3. Disaster Girl

Photo Credit: Distractify

This little girl, Zoe Roth looks like she may have started the fire, amirite? That’s not really the case.

“The fire department in our town was test-burning a house, so we went down to check it out. My dad just got a new camera so he took pictures of me and my brother in front of it. I think I just thought it was super weird and dangerous. I didn’t know it was a test fire until later so I was pretty worried.”

It was later picked up online and eventually made it into JPG Magazine

“Funnily enough, some people asked to take a picture with me the other day at work for the first time ever!” Zoë said, who’s now in college. “It affects me when people make games and books with me in, but mostly my life hasn’t changed.”

4. Doge

Photo Credit: Twitter, @castuco

This picture went full force 6 years ago and since then many other Shibu Inu memes sprung from this idea. The original, Kabosu, an 8-year-old recuse dog was discovered in a 2010 blog post. And the Verge was on a mission to find out more. After seeing her pup everywhere online the Owner, Atsuko Sato said, “I was taken aback. It felt very strange to see her face there. It was a Kabosu that I didn’t know.”

5. Overly Attached Girlfriend

Photo Credit: Pinterest, gattospam

Laina Morris was just a gal trying to get Justin Beiber’s attention. He announced a challenge to his fans to make a video countering “Boyfriend” and thus Morris’ character for “Girlfriend” was born. But when a Reddit user screenshotted the infamous creepy look, the meme caught fire.

Recently, she posted a video about quitting YouTube and the reasons why.

Pretty interesting origin stories, right? Wouldn’t have guessed how simple some of these were, yeah?

Let us know your favorite memes in the comments and maybe we’ll do another story about them!

The post Here Are the Origin Stories Behind 5 Iconic Memes appeared first on UberFacts.

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Garbage Collectors Come Clean About the Stuff People Throw Away

The stuff people throw away can be truly shocking.

And it’s not just the amount of money we spend on things that we just pitch in the trash. People seem to think that garbage bags somehow shield them from being arrested… because A LOT of illegal shit gets thrown away for ANYBODY to find.

These 14 garbage collectors know this all too well, and they’re not shy about divulging what they found!

Let’s go!

1. So many different things in just 8 months!

I worked ~8 months while waiting to go to school in my small southern town.

Summary of interesting things I found go as follows: $20, bullets, a live snake, a fully working 400$ amp (which I now use for my speaker setup), and a small bag of marijuana, and a can literally full of adult toys and open DVDs.

2. Thanks history professor. Or should I say… history thief!

We used to pull the recyclables out of the dumpsters by our rental condo in California. Found a Naval officer’s sword, a nice set of cast iron skillets, plus a fantastic handmade leather chair. Still have those in my home. Lots of clothes with tags, pretty sure the residents one unit over were shoplifters and thieves; we took that stuff to the thrift shops.

Then there was Big Trash Day in Japan once a quarter. Fully working treadle sewing machine with a cast iron base, ceramic hibachi pot, marvelous glass and lacquer cases, a giant yellow quartz gem set in silver. A full set of WWII photos and albums, including a Kamikaze farewell party, but a history professor “borrowed” those to examine and never got them back to me.

3. Think of all the money to be made!

I lived in a campus town and every year, end of the semester, (especially the end of spring semester) the most amazing stuff would be thrown out.

Students (especially foreign students) leaving who had no way to take their stuff with them.

Uncounted couches, TVs, furniture, computers, electronics, etc just sitting on the curbs all around the campus.

They had to clean the apartment out and they had nowhere to put the stuff but on the curb.

4. Why do people throw away laptops?!?

I live in a town with 2 colleges in it and I like to go textbook hunting on move out week. I’ll usually pull 2,5-3k in 2 weeks. I’ve found around 8-9 phones of vary degrees of degradation, around 4 laptops with fixable problems and a closets worth of name-brand clothing. My daily driver timbs are trash boots.

My friend though, after two years of gathering now owns a small business selling and renting what he calls “dorm kits”, which usually include a couple lights, chairs, a mini-fridge, a microwave, an electric kettle and other odds and ends. He has a real job but makes about 40k a year supplemental, a lot in cash. (that he keeps in a cardboard box labeled “f— you money”) He will often find 2-3 of the kits he sold outright in the garbage that same year. I’m jealous of his work ethic, because those couple of weeks before/after the semester he works 18 hour days.

TL;DR- if you live near a college there’s gold in the garbage.

5. E.A. office… it’s in the trash!

The cleaning company I work for regularly gets rid of unwanted stuff from an Electronics Arts office.

We could keep the items they didn’t use anymore. Some of the fun things we got were: a classic guitar hero set, wii fit + balance board, sim city mouse pads (still using those), some kind of singstar microphones (use the now for talking online with friends), old sims disks with all the commercials they have ever released (some weird stuff was on there), battlefield bad company key chains, old games like need for speed and rogue galaxy for ps2 and lots of minor stuff.

This happens annually so i hope they got some fun stuff this year.

6. So much wine!

At my sister’s alma mater, she said the rich girls threw out a lot of good stuff when the dorms had to be cleaned out for the summer. She got clothes, shoes and purses.

I lived in Israel as an English teacher several years ago and since thrift stores aren’t really a thing there, perfectly good clothes would be thrown out. I got so many bags of clothes.

Once they were washed, they were perfectly fine. (Got hand-me-downs from my teacher, the teacher of two people in my cohort and a few friends in my cohort as well.) Never had to buy clothes (minus a pair of boots and my Purim costume) during my 10 months in Israel! Before Passover, people toss anything that isn’t kosher for Passover. I found more clothes and three unopened bottles of wine!

7. Snowboards?! Whoa!

I usually find brand new stuff still in the plastic. Haven’t really found anything illegal though.

My brother in law works for a recycling place and he finds all kinds of cool sh*t. One day he came home with 3 brand new dc snowboards. He said whatever company wanted to shred the last year’s model that didn’t sell so he took it home.

8. Lots of meds!

I was a janitor for my high school in the summer months and one of the first jobs of the summer was locker clean out. I was given the master key for all the lockers and had to go in one by one to clean them out.

I found so many bottles of ADHD meds (adderal, ritalin, vyvanse), relatively brand new shoes, nice north face fleeces among other random sh*t.

9. The $100 pick up

I worked on the back of a trash truck for one summer when I was younger. It was my girlfriend’s dad’s company so I rode with him pretty much the entire time. We never found anything truly odd but one of my best memories was when we used to go around to pick up trash at these multi-million and billion dollar homes.

There was this one house that we picked up trash at that always had four, five, six huge cans full of bottles and trash from their weekly parties.

The rule was, only two large cans were to be picked up. Anything extra would cost the customer more. Well, in order to avoid having to pay the company extra, every week there would be this old guy standing at the back gate with a $100 bill. He’d hand us the bill in exchange for us not telling the owner about the extra pick-up.

The owner, the guy who he handed the money to, always promised not to tell anyone about it. We always had a good lunch on those days.

10. Never pay for a bike again!

My dad was a garbage man. My brother and never paid for a bike as kids – he’d find bikes in various states of disrepair and bring them back home to fix them up from their usable parts.

Also, radios. My dad would find some incredible old radios – tons of 40s/50s era tube radio receivers, which we would fix up together.

As far as illegal, I remember him telling me that he found a big ziploc bag full of mary jane one time.

11. Guns & Ammo

I was a garbage man for a number of years in the early 90s. I live in a very small town that is mostly Italian, and one morning we were sent out to collect the dumpster from a trucks top on the outskirts of town. As the truck was pouring the contents of the dumpster into the back, I saw a wet box break apart and inside were a bunch of submachine guns and magazines of ammo.

I stopped the winch, told the driver, and we both decided to play dumb (not difficult) and pretend we didn’t see them. So I continued on and crushed it all as though I hadn’t seen them.

I just remember being afraid that they were dropped off for a pickup or exchange and if some saw me taking them or I was found with them, it’d be a really bad day for me.

12. Better living through chemistry!

In an old school, a forgotten high school chemistry lab from the 60s. Jars and jars of things like thermite, sticks of yellow phosphorous submerged in some yellow-colored liquid that had evaporated to the point where there was only 1/8″ of liquid covering the top of the sticks and the slightest movement would cause the top end of the sticks to be uncovered.

This was all on the same racks as a jar of mercury, about a pound of powdered asbestos, spools of magnesium ribbom, quantities of powdered sulfur, nitroglycerin, potassium permanganate, cans that had rusted through (they still contained – something –

but the labels were too corroded to read), acid nitric and too many other bottles to read as just being in that room for a couple of minutes gave me a splitting headache.

It had apparently been a well-stocked chemistry lab for high school students decades previously then one day the school closed so they locked the door and nobody had entered it (much less cleaned it out) for decades.

13. Casino cleanup

My uncle in Vegas was a trash man.

After work he would walk through the landfill and find casino chips, jewelry, other valuables and money – enough to buy a very nice home on his modest wages after only a couple years. Rich, drunk and/or stupid means a lot of disposed, as opposed to disposable, wealth.

14. You knew this was coming…

A severed arm with no hand.

At first I thought it was from an animal until I looked closer in horror that it clearly was a human elbow.

That last story… WTF?????? How do you ever recover from that? How do you go back to work???

Got any crazy stories of things you found which you can’t unsee? Let us know in the comments!

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14 Times Parents Gave Babysitters Really Weird Rules to Follow

Babysitting can be a weird job. For many teens, it’s their first job, and it’s actually incredibly important. Taking care of somebody’s kids is not a small job… so why is the pay often less-than-spectacular?

Add on to that the fact that parents often leave lengthy lists for babysitters, covering things like feeding times and routines and screen time. Sometimes parents are a little over the top, though. These 15 babysitters told reddit the strangest rules parents gave them:

1. Severe allergy

Not necessarily a rule but the first time I went to their house they told me about their daughter’s very serious peanut allergy, walked me through the epi pen, prevention, phone numbers of their neighbors who were doctors- all fine so far. I took this very seriously. But then the mother put her hands on my shoulders and said “if she dies we wouldn’t blame you. It wouldn’t be your fault”. While I appreciate the thought this freaked me the hell out and I was 100 times less comfortable

2. Seems sketchy

The mom had me put her kids in their car seats and sit in the driveway with all the car doors open while she just hung out inside the house. 5 hours of me standing in the driveway watching them sit inside their car. Never returned.

Edit: I meant I never returned to babysit for her again, not that the mother mysteriously disappeared.

As for people asking why I didn’t take them somewhere, she specifically asked me to just sit in the driveway with them. I also didn’t have my drivers license yet so I couldn’t have taken them anywhere even if I wanted to. The kids were twins who were 4 years old, I think. They were weirdly, weirdly well behaved and didn’t complain about what we were doing. To this day I have no idea what she was doing inside or why she didn’t just let them play in the yard. I am just as confused as you.

3. Still in diapers at 6?

I had to change the kids cloth diaper every 2 hours on the dot. The kid was 6. I assumed it was for some sort of disability or something, but no. His parents just didn’t want to potty train him, and the kid was content with being babied. I remember just making the kid put his own diaper on and encouraged him to use the bathroom if he had to go. I never went back.

4. Bribery works

On the opposite end of the spectrum, The family gave me instructions to let their kids drink chocolate milk, which they were otherwise not allowed to have. I think they wanted their kids to associate baby sitter time with fun time, so the parents could go out more often. Seemed to work out well for them, the kids both grew up to be successful people.

5. Uh, no

Asked me to drive their three year old twins around in my personal vehicle for 2.5 hours because “that’s the only way they can nap”.

No. I simply put the kids in their beds, closed the door, and they were asleep in 15 minutes.

6. A bottle?

To give him warm milk in a baby bottle right after every dinner – he was a fully functional 10 year old boy.

Edit: To answer some of the quesions: Yes, he was fine with it; His parents were otherwise normal (as far as I saw), the kid himself was great; His teeth seemed fine from what I can remember (not that I really would have paid attention to that back then), but I just found him on facebook and it looks like he did have braces around 14-15 years old

7. Sleepy CD

I had to put the kids to sleep with the CD player going. That wasn’t the weird part.

It was a recording of their parents basically going “Molly, you are wonderful. You are a star. You’re going to shine bright.” That isn’t super weird…But it was like several hours long, and apparently they listened to it every night.

8. Let him out

“If Brady stands by the door it just means he needs to go out. Open the door, and let him back inside in a few minutes.”

Brady was a four year old boy.

9. No Fleetwood Mac

OMG thanks for asking because you reminded me of a weird thing.

The 3 year old daughter HAD to watch this vhs tape of a live Fleetwood Mac concert before bed.

I was like, okay cute , that’s adorable, 3 year olds love the weirdest things she’s so quirky and this will be fun.

But she didn’t love it. She always wanted to watch land before time instead. But it was always on the note left for me. Like /pager number, pediatrician, chicken soup for dinner is in fridge and, and WATCH FLEETWOOD MAC at 630 before bed/

Obviously the family eventually found out I wasn’t making her watch it, as I had no fucking reason to believe it was a secret. They were clearly upset by this and I was never called back to babysit.

So that was weird…

10. A stomach of steel

No hot sauce after 9pm.

Edit: To give some context, the kid LOVED hot sauce…but his folks were super over protective…maybe they had heard of ppl eating too much hot sauce an throwing it up as it would not settle?

Honestly the kid was made of solid steel…we went to Taco Bell pretty much every time I babysat.

11. This is a test

Wasn’t a rule, but on my first day they sent over an adult male friend of theirs who asked to come in. I said no, and was then told I was being tested and I had passed.

12. Not staying for a home birth

Hippy family. The two year old had no bedtime and no rules. “She can eat what she wants, no bedtime, and if she falls asleep, leave her wherever she crashed.” The parents came home at 2:30 to a toddler eating chocolate cake on the couch with her preferred American Pickers on tv. That’s fine apparently.

6 months later the mom is very pregnant and asks that when the baby is born, if I could wrangle the toddler while the mom gives birth in a bathtub at home. The two year old was to be in the room, watching, while I explain what’s happening. I left that evening when the parents came home (fried chicken in the toddlers hand, Keeping Up with the Kardashians on tv) and denied their next request to come sit. As a 20 year old, I wasn’t prepared to see the mess of someone else’s home birth!

13. Seems oddly specific

I was told that the only thing she specifically wasn’t allowed to do was eat a bowl of sugar

14. I heard you the first time

I used to babysit for this family when I was in high school (in the 80s) and they had no books or reading material of any kind, except that there would usually be like two sections of the WSJ and a running magazine lying around. No. Books.

Anyway, once I went over there and the mom told me like nine times, BEGGED ME, not to eat the box of ‘Nilla Wafers that was in the cupboard because she needed them for a recipe the next day. BEGGED. I was like, “Ok, got it. They’re totally safe because I don’t even like vanilla wafers!” She kept mentioning it, and it was the first thing she asked me about when they got home.

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