People Talk About When They Regretted a Decision Immediately

Have you ever done something and then immediately thought, “Oh no… oh god no… oh good glory Jesus NOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Yeah, me too. And that’s why we’re here today… to commiserate about those times that people did something, regretted it… but not enough to prevent them from sharing it on the internets!

Let’s take a look and some of these hilarious buffoons!

Like this guy who didn’t even know his projects partner’s name…

Bruh… just turn it in.

Or this person who says you can’t dry plates in the dryer.

Well, they are technically IN there, and they look dry, so…

Image Credit: Facebook

What happens when you forget that plastic and heat don’t mix?

Something which is honestly, pretty amazing. I mean, look at that!

I think the breads warm from Wellthatsucks

When you’re a dad and you think you’re sneaky…

But you don’t tell the wife what’s up.

Can’t you just put that on your nose?

No, that’s not how it works? Ack!

Drove 45 mins to the store thinking I had my mask in my pocket. It was a baby sock. from Wellthatsucks

Roomba! You betrayed me!!!

You don’t know s**t, you know that!?

Didn’t he technically do his job.

He “un” locked the door. Get it? Yeah you do…

I was the one in charge of unlocking the building today. This will be a fun conversation… from Wellthatsucks

Cats just do what they want.

And that’s why I hate cats. Sorry mittens!

Turned my back for a minute and she peed in 20 cups of uncooked rice… from Wellthatsucks

I’m sorry… these are AMAZING friends

Talk about the best prank ever! That means your friends LOVE you. Duh!

Image Credit: The Poke

Folks, I’m fully in love with a lot of these fails. They’re so achingly human and hilarious, and they really made my day.

What about you? Which of these made you sit up and do a spit take?

Let us know in the comments!

The post People Talk About When They Regretted a Decision Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Times When People Tweeted Something Just Right

If you didn’t read these 11 tweets before now… what have you been doing with your life?

I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve only shared 11 here…. but I’ve got probably 1,000 of these things in my meme pocket. And I could pull out more and spread them around, but for right now… this is all you get. These 11. So you better make them last.

Don’t say you weren’t warned!

1. Sounds like DA to me!

These meetings can get INTENSE!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. Megan has a point…

Why is the coral disappearing if it’s so smart, huh?

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. Well, that’s just pigeons being pigeons

Let them walk if they want. Flying is hard.

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. Sounds exactly like what I would say

Talk more clearly next time!

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. Just lay there.

It’ll all be over soon.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Literal horse is literal

Literally hilarious, I mean! 😉

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. It’s not too much to ask!

In fact, you should demand it. From whom, I do not know…

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. And everybody had a great laugh.

Seriously, you should do this. It’ll work.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. This one is a slow burn…

… but it’s worth it.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. Now THAT is some research.

Is 540 bad or…???

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. This would make my decade.

Maybe even my millennium.

Photo Credit: The Chive

So… are you happy now? Didn’t I tell you that these 11 memes were good?

Yes, that’s all you get today.

Be happy. Don’t cry.

Stop it!

The post Enjoy These Times When People Tweeted Something Just Right appeared first on UberFacts.

Wholesome Animal Memes That Made Us Feel Great and Warm and Fuzzy

Are you a fan on animals?

No, wait… do you like ALL the animals?

I do, so today is one of my favorite days of all time because I get to bring you 14 of the hap-hap-happiest memes on the planet!

Shout out to all the animal lovers out there who make the meme world worth memeing.

Let’s go!

14. This made me so happy.

You don’t even understand.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

13. Don’t mind me!

I’ll just sit here and get squished.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. *wink*

*double wink*

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. That is a perfect combo

Sounds like a Disney movie to me!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. This one is a journey!

Gotta love Tumblr!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. Such a pretty boi!

Roll in chalk ALL the days!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. Golden advice

Mask up, people!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

7. I am now going to become the modern day Louis Coulon

Just watch me, world!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

6. Moths just being moths

The cutest!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. Hey, you’re never too old!

Well, technically you are, but you know what I mean…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. Oh s**t kitty!

Someone’s gonna get some pets!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. Hey bro!

Come here and hang!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. This is the best thing ever.

Yay for this person!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

1. Pretty much every human I know.

And that’s not a bad thing.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Okay, so weren’t those the cutest? Yeah they were! And now we all feel better.

Ahhhhhhh… that felt good.

So then, do you have any wholesome memes you want to share?

Do it in the comments!

The post Wholesome Animal Memes That Made Us Feel Great and Warm and Fuzzy appeared first on UberFacts.

Tweets That May Very Well Be Perfect

It’s time for 10 tweets that we definitely want to share because, if we don’t, we’re just not being responsible human beings.

And while there’s no objective measure for what constitutes a “perfect” tweet… we’d hazard a guess to say that these come damn close.

Damn close, I say!!!

And away we go!

1. When that day comes… it’s not good.

I need another pair, stat!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. What’s rarer than rare?

You probably wouldn’t understand…

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. I can see this turning out well..

Replace them, you monster!

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. Oh damn… look at the bad ass!

Mark Magark is probably the funniest name ever.

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. That’ll do it.

Works every single time.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Why didn’t I think of this?!?

It’s JUST that easy.

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. To the studio!

Let’s get this situation fixed, now!

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. Same.

But it’s not a sitcom… it’s Law and Order. Yeah, I’m weird.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. This is good advice for anybody at any time.

Do not do this ever.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. That’s not how you do it, Ron!

What did the Echo every do to you, huh???

Photo Credit: The Chive

So, those were the best 10 tweets we could find today. Come back tomorrow when we’re sure to have some more. Maybe. No promises.

But hey, want to help us out? Have some awesome tweets you want to share?

Do that in the comments! Please and thank you!

The post Tweets That May Very Well Be Perfect appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Differences Between Co-ed Schools and All-Girls Schools

Most of us never went to an “all” anything school, but those of you who did… they know the signs.

Where I grew up there was exactly ONE all-girls school and exactly ONE all-boys school. That’s it. And the people that went there definitely had different standards than everybody else.

For one… the uniforms. What’s with same-sex schools and mandatory uniforms? Isn’t that a place where clothes actually don’t matter?

Today, we’re talking about the gals and all of those things that people who went to schools that were femme-foward.

Let’s take a look!

1. Because, why would anybody really care?

It’s not like they had to cover up.

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Dressing in public. Got it. That’s a theme here.

And yeah, the presence of guys would immediately be different.

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. This would be the best thing about a school like this.

So much less competition!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Yeah, sounds like high school!

Some things never change.

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. All pads, all the time!

And I bet they were free.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Did it? Or was that just you?

Hmmmm…. I think somebody might have just been socially awkward?

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Oh snap! Testosterone in the house!

Can you feel it? Because they could!

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Actually, an amazing benefit.

Real competition because they’re not worrying about impressing boys? Sounds great to me!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Freedom!

I can’t imagine having to live up to these insane standards every single day. Ugh.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Yeah, but did you?

Really?

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Girl power!

No showers!

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. The answer is “YAS QUEEN!”

It’s not even a thing anymore.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Time to go out into the real world!

Seems like they wanted to get away from the “all-girls” reality.

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. If I were a school, I would NOT hire a male teacher.

Just seems like a recipe for disaster.

Photo Credit: Whisper

15. Really?

That doesn’t sound real…

Photo Credit: Whisper

Well, that got really real! And all because we took a sneak peek into a world we likely weren’t a part of.

Did you go to a same gender school? Want to share your experiences?

Do that in the comments!

The post People Share the Differences Between Co-ed Schools and All-Girls Schools appeared first on UberFacts.

These Anxiety Memes Will Make Today 3% Better

You need to have a sense of humor in life about the hard stuff. Anxiety is definitely one of those tough things that many, many people have to deal with on a daily basis.

Hopefully, these 11 memes will make you laugh and give you at least a moment’s break from your anxiousness.

1. OMG… does this exist?!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. Welcome to the thunderdome!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. Oh brain… you’re such a brain…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. Insomnia… hello again my old friend…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. I love that episode!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Oh yeah… I hate myself…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. Yeah, but what about NOT doing something together?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. Look what’s back!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Yeah, but…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Upside? If he stays, he’s trapped!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Those fucking dots…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Ahhhhh… those made me hate myself just a little bit less. But just a little bit less. Maybe 3% less hate for myself now. Okay, 4%. I’ll give myself that.

What about you? How much less do you hate yourself? 5%? 6%? Possibly even 8%?

Let us know in the comments!

The post These Anxiety Memes Will Make Today 3% Better appeared first on UberFacts.

These Memes are for People With Anxiety Who Need a Laugh Today

What’s the point of life if you don’t have a sense of humor? It helps us deal with the truly awful stuff.

Anxiety is definitely one of those tough things that basically everybody has to deal with, but isn’t that unifying?! Yeah it is!

These 12 memes will make you laugh and give you at least a moment’s break from your anxiousness.

1. Oh yeah. I forgot about those…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. Works every time!!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. If only…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. I’m pretty sure they don’t hate me THAT much, right?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. Ahhh… just like always!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Somebody actually got this!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. They grow up so fast!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. You know what anxiety? You need to SHUT UP!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Yep, checks out!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Every. Single. Day.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Do I have to use it all at once, or…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

12. You’re gonna make me care, aren’t you???

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Feeling less anxious? No? Me neither, but… I’m laughing. And maybe I’ll be able to live with myself tomorrow.

Probably not. We’ll see.

Which of these are your faves? Let us know in the comments!

The post These Memes are for People With Anxiety Who Need a Laugh Today appeared first on UberFacts.

If Kids Aren’t Your Thing, These Memes Are For You

Are you the type of person who does NOT want to have kids? Hey! Me too!!

We hate the idea that our independence will be threatened by bedtimes, diaper changes, responsibilities, crying, and snot leakage.

Yeah… completely understandable reasons, fam!

If you’re one of those people, these memes pretty much sum up your outlook on life and kids, so let’s go!

1. Seriously the worst!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

2. This won’t end well…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

3. Stop looking at me!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

4. Too late… already do this…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

5. The right response…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

6. Get away from me, you devil child!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

7. Wut sup!?

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

8. Get it away!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

9. Move away from the child…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

10. OMG… YES!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

11. Yes? No? Hmmm, better take all of the birth control then!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

So, you’re going out to the store right now to gets some condoms, right? Because there’s NO way you want to have a little you running around. That would be horrible.

What do you think? One of these speak to you in a special way?

Let us know in the comments!

The post If Kids Aren’t Your Thing, These Memes Are For You appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Dark Secrets in Their Families

There are some crazy families out there, and then there are THESE families.

When people ask questions on AskReddit, you know you’re going to get some juicy tidbits, but I don’t think you’re prepared for exactly how juicy it’s gonna get!

Ready? Set? Share!

1. An On-Purpose Accident

“My uncle was pissed at my dad once, and decided to poke holes in all of his condoms. He was dating my mother at the time, and that is how I came about. I wasn’t supposed to know, but my uncle told me once when he was drunk. I am thankful he did it, but that was a pretty douche move.”

2. “Not table conversation”

“We had a family Christmas dinner a few years ago where my aunt and uncles from both sides were staying over at our house. There were probably 10 or 11 of us at the dinner table, and everyone is getting along well like we always do. My cousin, around 14 or 15 at the time, brings up something about how he laid a massive poop earlier that day. The kids laugh and the adults were like ‘that’s not table conversation.’ Then I jump in and say ‘haha yea, there’s things we don’t talk at the dinner table, like politics and illegitimate children.’ Every adult at the table drops their eyes to their plate and goes silent. I’m sitting there like uhhhh, what in the Woody Allen movie is so awkward about all this .

What I didn’t know is that my uncle had an illegitimate child many years ago and thats always been a point of contention between my aunt and him. They also had been arguing about that earlier in the day, and all the adults knew it. Hahah man, that was jokes. But seriously though, never make jokes about illegitimate children unless you are absolutely sure no one has one.”

3. Family Tree

“I recently learned that my mother is the child of an affair. And that my grandfather was illegitimate royal blood from Russia.”

4. “Pet name”

“My family is mostly Portuguese. It used to be completely so, but my paternal grandfather married a French woman. All my life my grandfather called her something in Portuguese that I couldn’t understand. Last year at Thanksgiving I found out it meant ‘The French Whore.’ My grandfather’s parents hated her and called her that. My grandfather decided to own it and made it a pet name.”

5. Piano

“I found out that my mom had an affair with my piano teacher. Not sure that my dad even knows…”

6. “Haunted her till the day she died”

“I am named after my great aunt. I was told by my mother and my grandmother that she died a few years before I was born in a terrible motorcycle accident. I was also told never to bring up my great aunt’s name around my great grandmother as the loss of her daughter still troubled her. Understandable. Nothing was ever mentioned or said and I grew up understanding only the barest of details about her and her passing. A little odd to not know much about the person I was named after, but, whatever.

When I was 24, my great grandmother passed away. At the meal after her wake, my great uncle gets drunk and starts letting all the family secrets fly out.

In passing, he mentioned my great aunt’s suicide and everyone at the table solemnly nodded their heads, except for me. ‘What suicide?’ I asked, ‘Gran told me she died in a motorcycle accident.’

‘Yeah, that was the cover story,’ he replied, ‘Your great grandmother was too embarrassed to tell anyone what really happened and she had to explain the closed-casket at her daughter’s funeral.’

I came to find out my great aunt was a lesbian and in love with a woman from her university. The other woman felt the same way and they hatched plans to figure out a way to be together without their parents knowing. When my great grandmother discovered their plans, she went mental and sent my great aunt half way across the country to separate the two. Little did she know that both women had made a suicide pact that if this were to happen, they would shoot themselves in the head, which they did. My great grandmother, in her homophobia, caused two young women, in love, to kill themselves.Apparently she never forgave herself for what she did and it haunted her till the day she died.

After I found out the truth, I was first incredulous that my entire family had lied to me about the origin of my name, and second, I was deeply disturbed that to ease my great grandmother’s guilt and shame everyone accepted the lie.

Since then, I tell as many people the truth as are willing to listen so that my great aunt’s memory is served. Which is why I am posting this here. Every year since I found out, I have attended Pride. I donate to LGBT charities. I volunteer for LGBT organizations. All in her memory. If certain resources and volunteer organizations existed then as they do now, I might have a totally awesome, motorcycle-riding, great aunt to hang out with.”

7. Cross-Country Move

“The only reason my family is in California instead of New York is because my dad’s father wanted to follow his mistress (which nobody knew about until he died) to California, so he uprooted his entire family and made them move over here.”

8. Hungarian is a weird language

“All this time my family thought that my weird Hungarian last name meant ‘boat builder.’

Well, recently we were enlightened to learn that the closest meaning is actually ‘man who goes around the village at night and picks up the poop buckets from doorsteps.’

9. “Dad doesn’t know”

“My dad doesn’t know that I know that I have two younger brothers and a sister.

I’m also trying to look for them.”

10. Mental Institution

“My grandfather had a younger brother who was mentally disabled.

He pretty much took care of this brother completely until he was about 18, when he left for college. He came back and the brother had been put in a mental institution for months/years. No one had told my grandfather.

My mother only recently found out about him.”

11. Passing

“My dad recently told me a family story of one of his older, distant relatives; we’ll call her Jill. This all happened some 70 years ago, a good 20 years before my father was born. It’s a bit unclear what actually happened, but I’ll try my best to piece it together.

Jill was a ‘plain’ looking girl who was raised on a small, country farm. Being a bit of a quiet tomboy, she didn’t go to school, but took care of the farm’s horses instead.

One day in her teenage years, Jill was in the stables when something spooked one of the horses. It reared up and kicked Jill in the face. Since there was very limited medical surgery, she ended up somewhat disfigured and scarred. She withdrew from much of society and lived solely on the farm as a hermit.

Years of isolation pass and one day, Jill vanishes.

Perhaps her immediate family knew, but no extended family were ever told what happened. That is it, until they were notified of her death four years later. You see it turns out, Jill had run away and enlisted in the army. She had fought overseas in WWII, and had been killed.

Now that might not seem like much of a story, but keep in mind that only men fought in WWII. Jill had somehow managed to pose as a man for four years in the army without being detected, and it was her death that gave her away.

Considering the rest of my family history isn’t very exciting, I think it’s a pretty cool story.”

12. “And they all came to visit”

“So my grandfather is roughly 80 and has five kids (one of which is my father) all ranging from ages 40-50. Well about three years ago, he had a knock on the door, and it turns out that he had a family before he met my grandmother in Iowa and never told anyone.

He had married his first wife in California when he was sent out there in the Navy, and had two or three kids with her. He went and got himself deployed, and she apparently left with the kids while he was gone. Being the mid 1900s, he never found them, so he went on a cross country trip to New York for some reason. Luckily for me, he met my grandmother and had five kids, never telling anyone about his former life. From what we understood he graduated school, went into the Navy after working on some farm for a couple years, and tried to go to New York before getting snagged by my grandma in Iowa.

Well while he was doing this, apparently wife #1 was moving around the country as well, and every couple years, put those kids in adoption, busted them out of adoption, had three more kids from three different dads, but kept my grandpas same last name. So one of the original first kids went on a mission to find my grandpa, found him, and they all came to visit.”

13. Film Hobby

An ex of mine was telling me that her father made films as a hobby of sorts and he actually had some success on the indie horror cult classic scene.

So one day I was bored and decided to Google his name and found a bunch of his films. In most of them, the main character was my ex’s mother and she had at least one full frontal nudity scene in each.

She was pretty attractive and I’m open-minded about nudity anyways, but I have to say I felt a little weird when I watched one of the sex scenes between the mother and the father.

I couldn’t look her in the eyes after that point.

14. “It was looked down upon”

“This happened in May of this year. I have a sister who is four years older than me and a half-brother who is 14 years older than me (from a different father).

My aunt, my mom’s sister, sent out an email to the entire family that vented about 60 years of hatred toward my mother. Right at the end of the email, my aunt clearly indicated that my mom had another kid that no one knew about and had given the kid up for adoption. Huge news to my family who knew nothing about this.

I asked my mom about this and found out that the father of the kid was my brother’s dad, but my mom and him weren’t married when this happened 45~ years ago, so it was looked down upon by others. My mom eventually married my brother’s father and had him, but that was a few years later. After they got a divorce, she got married to my dad about 8 years later.”

15. “Horse people”

“I found out that one of my ancestors was exiled from Russia for challenging an army officer to a duel (with swords) and winning. My ancestor worked in the czar’s stable, and the argument arose when the army officer insisted on riding my ancestor’s horse. The horse threw him off and the army officer shot it.

We’ve always been horse people.”

Oh my… that last one… what would you think if you saw somebody nude and they didn’t know you saw them? I’m guessing that the woman wouldn’t care AT ALL because she made her living doing it.

But we want to know what you think? Let us know in the comments, fam!

The post People Share the Dark Secrets in Their Families appeared first on UberFacts.

11 Times Birthdays Did Not Go According to Plan and Went off the Rails

Birthdays are supposed to be great celebrations! I mean, that’s when you were born… and as a kid your birthday is essentially the biggest day of the year.

But… we’re not all that lucky. Some folks get completely shafted. These Reddit users were brave enough to share their sad birthday stories with the rest of us.

1. I would be SO angry!

Last year I was unemployed at the time of my birthday.

My friends and I made plans to actually go out and do something. The day before my birthday I got called to an interview where they told me I had a job. They wanted me to start the next day. So I cancelled my plans, went out and bought some work clothes and showed up for my first day of work. When I arrived, I found that there were 6 other girls there and that we were actually being interviewed again and that we would do a day of “training”. It then came out that only 2 people would leave with jobs.

Our “training” consisted of us doing 5 hours worth of kitchen labour. At the end of the day 2 girls were chosen and everyone else walked away jobless.

I was not one of those girls and I wasted my birthday on unpaid work.

2. Super!

My Birthday is at the very end of January. So often this coincides with the Super Bowl.

16th birthday was going to be a Super Bowl party. Gave out a ton of invites, paper and verbal. Had a bunch of people say they would swing by either for the whole thing or for the first half. Blah Blah Blah.

Put out snacks, had the game on the big screen. Only had two people show up and they didn’t even come inside. They just dropped off a small cake on their way to a different Super Bowl party.

At halftime I finally gave up hope that anyone else was showing up and told my mom to put the snacks away as I was going to bed.

3. Oh, get over it

It was my 19th birthday.

I was living in the dorms, and my friends got together and decided to give me a surprise party. This included them going out of their way to not see me all day, to avoid telling me happy birthday. All of my friends ignored me for the entire day, only to call me down to one of their rooms at 11:00 PM. I was getting ready for bed, ready to put the whole crappy day behind me. Instead I have to go down there to find them all drinking. They didn’t understand why that was not exactly a fun experience.

4. Face plant

I don’t remember exactly which birthday it was, I think 9th or 10th, we were all set to go to Chuck E Cheese with some friends and their parents for my birthday.

I was out in the yard with my friends playing with skate boards until it was time to leave for the pizza party. One of my shoe laces came undone, went under the wheel of the skateboard I was riding on and it pulled me down and I face planted into the sidewalk and took a good chunk if not all of the skin off my nose. Bloodied and crying, we still went to Chuck E Cheese.

I felt so insecure with this big bloodied scar of a nose while we were out in public.

5. Get better friends

For my 19th birthday, I organized a party at a friend’s house with tons of booze and tons of snacks. My ARMY buddy whose house it was at even procured Everclear for the Jungle Juice. I invited pretty much everyone I knew and told them to invite their friends.

One friend showed up.

Six years later, I tried again. I organized a “taste tripping” party where you take these Miracle Berry tablets that change the way your tongue tastes food (sour tastes sweet). I had a bunch of different foods on a platter for people to try tasting. Again, I invited everyone I knew.

Only one friend and his girlfriend showed up.

I’ve decided to stop throwing birthday parties.

6. Broke friends

Well, it was my 18th, and my first after starting university.

Throughout high school, I was fairly well off and was usually pretty generous. I talked to all my friends and they all wanted to come until I mentioned they might have to kick in half for their dinner. All bailed except one, who got depressed and cancelled. My World of Warcraft guild got together and sent me a tray of muffins and a timecard. Its always a crappy day when the only people who even pretend to care on your birthday are people who you’ve never met in real life.

Thank you, <The Muffin Kings>, for caring.

7. Series of unfortunate events

My 20th birthday.

I woke up at 8am, went to class in the crappy cold rain. When I got there and found out class was cancelled I was pretty bummed, especially since I had no ride home for three hours.

Next my sister takes me out to lunch where we find out our grandfather has to have emergency open heart surgery. Awesome. After that mess I went to see my now ex-girlfriend at school because she refused to drive home to see me.

We go out to dinner, she doesn’t have money because she spent it all on booze earlier in the week. I have to pay for my own dinner. Next we go back to her dorm room for some birthday sexy time, but instead we have a talk and she breaks up with me.

Worst birthday I’ve ever had.

8. Well that’s sad!

My birthday usually came a week after my first report card, and I got punished as a result with either no birthday, or a “bitter birthday” with just me and my parents, who would stare at me disappointedly. Or my mother was drunk, and would forget.

My birthdays since then have been pretty good, though.

9. …I just can’t

On my 22nd birthday, my housemates girlfriend insisted we go out. She kept badgering me about it until I named a local place that was semi-expensive, I also said Chilis. She kept pushing for the more expensive place insisting it was my special day.

We got there, she looked at the menus and immediately threw a fit, complaining she couldn’t afford anything. When her boyfriend attempted to buy her meal, she declined him multiple times, and refused to share his as a compromise.

For the rest of the night we ate in silence interrupted by her complaining about hunger pangs and how anyone could afford the place she had insisted we all go to.

10. Shit rolls downhill

16th birthday, I woke up to my parents fighting.

They didn’t even remember it was my birthday. Then my best friend, who happened to be the girl I was madly in love with stopped by to tell me goodbye as she was moving to Texas with her family.

I told her I liked her before but on that day I was going to tell her how I feel and ask her out.

When I got back from saying goodbye, my dad was packing his stuff and they told me they were getting divorced.

11. Like dominos…

I was really excited for my 19th birthday.

I was going to have lunch with my girlfriend, hang out with my friends after, and end the evening with pizza at my parents home. The girlfriends mum picks me up (no car at the time because I was living with the girlfriend and paying rent) and we go down to her university and she has to pick up some books so we go to the bookstore and she kills 2 hours in lines and shopping for clothing. Not all the books were bought so we went to an off campus bookstore. Another hour or so in line. I text my friends and cancel our plans.

We then go to The Olive Garden and she spends the whole time talking to her mum about something that the mum’s most recent boyfriend did. Started chatting up the server and mentioned it was my birthday to her and SHE wished me a happy birthday. Girlfriend looked at me puzzled. She had forgotten it. It’s now 8 pm and we are driving home. I’m in the backseat and I call my parents and tell them that I’ll be home soon. There’s an accident down the road on. My parents call me and ask where I am. I tell them to eat without me. 3 hours later we are out of the traffic jam and I go to my parents home and cry.

Broke up with her a few weeks later because she was cheating on me (for months now) and I was still salty about her forgetting my birthday and ruining that day.

What did you think? Have a story that can top some of these?

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