Category: dating

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Married Folks Should Enjoy These Tweets About How ‘Date Night’ Changes After You Get Hitched

Do you emember those date nights before you got married? Those evenings were hot, sultry, and full of romance.

Now that you’ve tied the knot? Maybe not so hot anymore…

Sleep! Now that’s exciting!

Enjoy these hilarious tweets about how date night…kind of fizzles out after you get married.

1. So happy together.

2. Sounds like a blast.

3. Hmmmmm…

4. In sync.

5. That’s a date, right?

6. Maybe in 12 years.

7. That is HOT.

8. Very romantic.

9. Now you know.

10. Oh, how things change.

11. Doesn’t seem equal.

12. Time to get $1.50 off.

13. Pay attention to the tenses.

14. Can we go home yet?

15. A picnic at home.

Tell us about your last date night with your spouse.

We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly!

The post Married Folks Should Enjoy These Tweets About How ‘Date Night’ Changes After You Get Hitched appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Dating Stories That Are Incredibly Awkward

Dating is sort of a necessary evil if you don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life.

That said, if any of these 15 stories had happened to me, I think I would have figured that being alone was the least of my problems.

15. The one thing that’s worse than a wedding.

“Instead of rescheduling, one guy took me to a funeral on a first date. Then afterwards, while eating dinner, the conversation was so awkward due to nothing in common, I couldn’t even look him in the eye.”

—jlpowell1201

14. This is so far from okay.

“We went to sushi and he just had to go back to his place before drinks. Turned out we had to go back to his place because he was afraid of public restrooms.

I sat alone in his living room listening to him straining while trying to poop. He then realized he was out of toilet paper and texted me to grab him a roll from upstairs.

Let’s not even get into the smell. Literally the shittiest date ever.”

—erickajenices

13. That’s a Code Red.

“The guy who asked me out worked at a garage but he didn’t bother to shower before our date, so he showed up covered in grease.

The whole night was awful, but I eventually gave up after he said, ‘You ever hang out in hospitals? I like to. Maybe just because I’m turned on by blood.’

I cannot make this shit up.”

—colleenh49

12. Pretty sure that’s an episode of Seinfeld.

“I was on a date with a guy from Tinder, and towards the end he asks me if I want to see his neighbor’s new puppy. So he calls them and says “yeah me and Stacey will be over soon.”

We just spent three hours together and he didn’t know my name was Perry.”

—perrys4049e593d

11. I hope you at least got free dinner.

“My date picked me up and drove us to a restaurant. When we got there he grabbed his backpack, which I thought was strange. He then specifically requested a table next to an outlet.

I soon found out what he needed his backpack and outlet for. I kid you not, he pulled out his laptop to show me a PowerPoint presentation on a pyramid scheme he wanted to recruit me for.

He spent the entire date trying to recruit me.”

—r48a91675c

10. And they had never discussed it before…

“I met up with this guy on Tinder and we seemed to click. Fast forward into the date and he disappeared and came back holding a sandwich-sized bag half full of what looked like broken glass.

Crack, my Tinder date had crack.

I politely declined his offer and then when I had the opportunity, made an exit.”

—heatherb45021465f

9. She’s like the female Sheldon Cooper.

“An older woman I used to work with decided to set me up with her son. He asked if I’d like to come over for dinner. This is not normally something I would agree to, but I did since I knew his mom. Turned out he still lived at home with her.

While I was planning my exit strategy, she got up and asked, ‘Would you two like some privacy for coitus?’ I thanked them for a lovely meal and made up a lie about how I had to leave.

I never felt comfortable around her at work again.”

—buttmuffin

8. That is the opposite of how Valentine’s Day works.

“I had been dating this guy and was really falling for him. He said he wanted to plan everything for our Valentine’s Day date. He loved astronomy, so he picked a spot and brought a small telescope and showed me all the constellations. I was on cloud nine.

I changed into something sexy and invited him in. He got undressed, got in bed, and then told me he couldn’t do this anymore. He basically got undressed to break up with me.

He said I deserved a really nice Valentine’s date before he did it.”

—aprilm4ecddbafd

7. Definitely take the money and run.

“Not only was the guy I met up with not the person in his pictures, he told me I looked different than what he expected, and offered me gas money to leave.”

—victoriaf4f2309550

6. Also a Seinfeld episode.

“I had had my eye on this guy for a while. After a few weeks of flirting he finally asked me to go to a gig with him on a date. We went to the gig and were having a good time, when suddenly HIS PARENTS SHOW UP! Turned out he had invited them because he wanted me to meet them….ON OUR FIRST DATE!

Afterwards he called me continuously and I asked him to back off but he didn’t, so I called it off completely. This ended with him begging me to change my mind by screaming ‘I’M A COOL PERSON!’”

—beckij41bc2d27d

5. I mean now I just want to know whether or not he did.

“Things were pretty normal during the first half of the night, but then things got weird. He sat next to me in the restaurant booth and proceeded to slide a butter knife up and down my thigh.

He then went on to ask what my response would be if he told me he had five dicks.

Yeah, never saw that guy again.”

—sarahn47f402432

4. Oh man on a first date what in the hell.

“I agreed to meet up with a guy I knew through mutual friends. We decided to drive around for about an hour, just talking and getting to know one another. It was going well so we started making out. He then whispered to me, ‘Would you pee in my mouth…with a funnel?’

Luckily my cousin texted me and I said I had to leave. As he got out of the car he asked me how much I usually pee so he could go buy me a funnel at the store.

I blocked him as soon as he got out of my car.”

—leiah49a02f220

3. At least he waited to make sure you weren’t alone.

“This guy I met at a bar took me to a Chinese place for dinner. We ordered a bunch of different things and shared it all. My face started to get really red and I broke out in hives. By the time we got to the car, I was struggling to breathe and I asked him to take me home.

Well, I went into full blown anaphylactic shock and stopped breathing in the car. Apparently I was allergic to almonds and didn’t know it, and we ordered almond chicken.

He had enough sense to take me to the ER. I woke up a few hours later to him sitting in the corner of the room looking horrified and apologizing profusely because during all the commotion they ripped off my shirt and bra and he saw my boobs.

Once my roommates got there he bolted never to be heard from again.”

—brittanywnek

2. All of this just makes me want to give him a hug.

“He showed up dressed like Superman — white button-up over a blue Superman T-shirt, Clark Kent hair, glasses — and took me out to sushi…thought I told him several times that I was a vegetarian. At dinner, he spilled sake all over me.

He also pulled out his digital camera to show me photos of the trip to Europe he had taken with his mother five years ago. And then, while he was driving me home, he told me his goal was to have a relationship like Leo and Kate in Titanic.”

—Aeffervescent

1. That is just wrong.

“I allowed my friend from college to set me up on a date, which ended up being a group date out on a lake. My date, Austin, was plastered by the afternoon and we all decided to go for a swim.

At one point during the swim he got very quiet. The group looked in his direction, and we noticed his face looked like that of a constipated child. His friend yelled: ‘Get in the boat, now!’ Moments later, we saw a very large turd float to the surface next to Austin.

Austin laughingly got back in the boat and acted as if nothing happened.”

—anonymouslydating

Yikes! I am secondhand cringing so freaking hard!

Do you have any stories that can rival these? Tell us the dirty deets!

The post 15 Dating Stories That Are Incredibly Awkward appeared first on UberFacts.

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Screenshots of ‘Nice Guys’ on Dating Apps That Escalated Things Quickly

Some guys get really angry really on dating apps. If a lady doesn’t give into a guy’s every whim or she gives him the cold shoulder (which is how dating apps work, so…?), some fellas fly off the f’ing handle.

Here are some good examples…

1. That escalated quickly.

Reposting because I accidentally deleted the original post; "Sent within the same hour apparently. Stolen from r/Tinder" from niceguys

2. Her response is great.

Friend went on one tinder date with this guy and he was way too clingy, so she told him to chill out. A couple weeks no contact went by and then… from niceguys

3. Kind of passive-aggressive.

The perfect tinder bio doesn’t exi- from niceguys

4. He’ll treat you like a queen.

Swiping through tinder and came across this from niceguys

5. Gross.

and then i never used bumble again. from niceguys

6. A bit extreme.

I’m a gentleman who thinks tinder is ruining society. If you won’t hook-up with me go somewhere else. from niceguys

7. I’ll choose option D.

a great opening line my friend got on tinder. she was unmatched after her response from niceguys

8. Oh dear…

One of my friends matches on Tinder… from niceguys

9. What a catch!

This guy has to be getting all the matches. from niceguys

10. Take it down a notch.

Found on tinder from niceguys

11. Total psycho.

My sister is trying out tinder, and already found a “great guy!” from niceguys

12. Oh my…

my first post… i matched with a guy who said he was 20 (i’m 18). he made me drive almost an hour into the city to meet him and when i got there he was clearly in his 40s. check those time stamps in the first picture. from niceguys

Ladies, have you had this happen to you?

If so, tell us your stories in the comments. Ugh!

The post Screenshots of ‘Nice Guys’ on Dating Apps That Escalated Things Quickly appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Man Created a New Dating App Where He’s the Only Man Available

Dating often means logging into an app and swiping away these days. It’s all very impersonal, and it can be hard to actually meet someone you click with. So, one man decided to make things easier for himself by making an app where he’s the only man to swipe on.

Aaron Smith of North Carolina created the app “Singularity.” He’s the only guy available on it. No matter how many times you swipe, you just get more versions of Aaron’s photo.

Aaron was inspired to create Singularity after he noticed a major problem with other dating apps.

“The biggest problem with the other apps is that my face is not featured prominently,” he told WFMY.

“If life gives you lemons, you should first make lemonade. Then make sure no other companies can produce or distribute their own soft drinks. So the only game in town is lemonade.”

Photo Credit: Screenshot, WFMY News 2

Smart move! To create the app, Aaron got some help from his best friend, Scott McDowell, who happens to be a software engineer. Scott definitely empathized with Aaron’s problem.

“All of us who have done online dating in some sorta way can all relate to the fact that it really does sometimes suck,” Scott said.

The photos on Singularity feature Aaron playing the guitar, Aaron in a Santa Claus hat, and Aaron jumping in front of an ice cream truck.

He advertised the app with a video on his YouTube channel.

“Online dating is terrible and getting more nonsensical with every passing year,” he says in the ad. “Singularity saves you countless hours of swiping, but just matching you with me!”

If only we all had a tech genius BFF to make us our very own dating app.

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People Share What Happened On Their Worst Date

Dating can be exhausting, and you never know when you’re going to run into a truly bad egg. But if there’s one positive thing that you will get out of every crappy dating experience, it’s a great story.

Redditors shared their worst dates ever, and the top comments are truly a sight to be seen.

1. Ended up in a wheelchair.

“I invited a girl I was seeing to watch me play hockey for the first time. Ended up breaking my femur. Was in a wheel chair for 6 months. She dated me. Always felt like a pity relationship.”

2. She brought her mother.

“First date, she brought her mother to join us for coffee. The mother was deaf and stared at me the entire time. Apparently lip-reading, I think.”

3. A fire and broken bones.

“I went on a blind date where the restaurant caught on fire, and I slammed her foot in the car door breaking two bones. When your blind date ends at the ER you are going home alone.”

4. He threatened my life.

“We went to dinner then he drove me thru an alley and said he could rape and kill me if he wanted and no one would know. Then he peeled out and told me he was joking and took me home.

No second date.”

5. Tried to fool around in Burger King.

“Took me to Burger King, made me pay (I was 16, unemployed) then asked me to come to the loo with him so we could ‘fingerbang and stuff’.”

6. He tried to sneak me in the trunk.

“A guy insisted we go to the drive in movies. Told him he could pick the movie. Cheap bastard picked Paul Blart Mall Cop and told me get in the trunk because he ‘only brought enough money for one ticket.’

I ended up buying both tickets, and he ended up telling everyone I blew him.”

7. Two words: Chili fingers.

“Valentines evening, 18 with first serious girlfriend. Parents out of town so I figure cooking, romantic meal and a film is a good shout. Know she likes asian food so spend hours making a spicy ramen soup, made the stock myself and everything. Dinner goes great, swap little gifts, everything going perfectly. End of meal and there’s no thought of putting a film on, clothes are flying off, push her onto the couch and and start fingering her, heavy breathing, moaning, and then “OHHWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!”, she screams, jumps up and runs to the bathroom where I can hear her crying for an hour or so.

Had forgotten to wash my hands, and from that day on was known as chilli fingers.”

8. He bit me.

“I went on a first date where the dude took my phone and wouldn’t give it back, and then bit me when I tried to take it. Left a bruise for a few weeks.”

9. She left to have phone sex.

“Begin watching movie. She gets a phone call. It’s one of my favorite movies, so I don’t mind waiting for her.

Movie ends, she’s still not back. Turns out she was talking to her recent ex-boyfriend- a friend of my brother’s. When I go to her room to check on her and let her know I was gonna see myself out, find out she was havin’ the phone sex.”

10. It got worse and then it got better.

“First date I called her the wrong name. Second date I lit her hair on fire while trying to be smooth and light her cigarette. Six years later we’re happily married. Don’t count out the bad dates.”

11. Got stood up for the best reason.

“The one where I got stood up. She later called and apologized, she said ‘You were so friggin’ handsome and smart and I was just too intimidated.’

About as good a reason to get stood up as one could ask for, I guess. Still, wasted 30$ on a theater ticket. The play was hilarious.”

12. We missed the sunrise.

“I told my girlfriend it would be a romantic idea to get up uber-early and watch the sunrise together, forgetting that neither of us were morning people. She disliked the idea, but wanted to encourage me to come up with other, better ones, so she agreed.

We half-consciously sat on a snow-covered bench in the dark, each trying to make sure the other stayed awake. After about a half-hour, we realized it was too cloudy. The sun had already risen and we didn’t see a damn thing. We parted ways and went back to bed.”

13. I forgot who she was mid-date.

“I got talked into taking my sister’s godmother’s niece out on a date when I was in high school. We went to see the movie ‘Cast Away’ at the theater on opening weekend. I made the mistake of telling her to go and get us seats while I went and got snacks.

After getting everything, I came to the realization that I had no idea what she was wearing, distinguishing facial features, etc and I was blanking on her name, to boot. I ended up standing by the theater’s entrance with everything in my hands for about 20 minutes in the hope that she would see me and wave me over before giving up and sitting down in the rightmost seat in the front row for the remainder of the movie.

She eventually found me after the movie (I was her ride home) and we laughed a bit about it. Never spoke to one another after that disaster.”

14. I clogged her parents’ toilet.

“I took my girlfriend over to my parent’s house for the first time and I needed to use the bathroom. Well my parents didn’t tell me the toilet had a weak flush and I end up clogging the toilet and it overflows and water/shit goes everywhere. I spent the rest of the evening cleaning up after myself, while everyone made fun of me.”

The post People Share What Happened On Their Worst Date appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Funny Jokes About Being Single and Ready to Mingle

Being single has its ups and downs.

And it also depends on what kind of person you are. Let’s just put it this way: being in a relationship consists of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

That’s why being single is the best! Sometimes…

Let’s take a look at some folks who are livin’ the single life.

1. Who won?

2. Make your move.

3. It’s not going well.

4. That’s a fun game, isn’t it?

5. A sad state of affairs.

6. All kinds of trash.

7. That was your topic of conversation?

8. Back away. Slowly.

9. You’ll be back on there in no time.

10. Seems like a good move.

11. That’s pretty much the only way to make it work.

12. Two sides of the coin.

13. Get away from me.

14. Imagine that…

15. What does touch feel like?

Are you single? Dating? Married?

Give us an update in the comments and let’s see who’s living their best lives!

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Enjoy Some of the Best Sex and Dating Tweets from the Last Decade

Relationships can be complicated, dramatic, and messy, but they can also be wonderful and fulfilling at the same time.

Real talk: we’re all obsessed with sex and love, so why deny it?

Let’s enjoy some tweets that went viral in a huge way.

1. There’s a scoreboard.

2. Looking to impress exactly one person.

3. Very specific.

4. Sounds very proper.

5. Thanks a lot…

6. Not like that.

7. A real romantic.

8. We’re really doing it!

9. You’re pretty much single.

10. You’re in too deep now.

11. Are you uncomfortable yet?

12. Yup, it’s dead.

13. Looking for some to do NOTHING with.

14. Well, this is a first.

15. Three stages of life.

Funny stuff, no doubt about it!

The post Enjoy Some of the Best Sex and Dating Tweets from the Last Decade appeared first on UberFacts.

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Cuffing Season Is Here…Let’s Check out Some Tweets About It

Are you aware of “cuffing season“? It’s when people who are usually single or unattached get into a relationship during those long, cold, gray months of fall and winter.

Who doesn’t want someone to snuggle with someone by a fire when it’s freezing outside, right?

Enjoy these cuffing season tweets and keep warm out there!

1. It’s gonna be cold!

2. Getting into a bad relationship?

3. It’s worth it, right?

4. There you go!

5. “I need a place to crash…”

6. I thought the same thing.

7. The more you know.

8. Here comes the storm.

9. A sad reminder.

10. You know you’re gonna do it…

11. He’s not having it.

12. Here come the fireworks.

13. Who can resist?

14. We have a winner!

15. She knows what she wants.

Are you one of these folks? Are you a cuffer?

Share you stories in the comments!

The post Cuffing Season Is Here…Let’s Check out Some Tweets About It appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Tweets That Will Look Familiar If You’ve Ever Been in a “Situationship”

Have you experienced this situation before? you hang out with someone for quite a while, you’re intimate, it feels like a relationship…but then it never quite goes anywhere.

Sound familiar? It’s called being in a “situationship,” and a lot of us have been there at one time or another – maybe you’ve even been on both sides of it.

Here are 15 tweets that really hit the nail on the head about this unique experience in our love lives.

1. Totally on your own.

2. Skipping over that one.

3. Is that clear?

4. It sure is weird.

5. It’s fun, right?!?!

6. Gee, thanks a lot.

7. What’s the rush?

8. That’s every day.

9. Go wit da flow.

10. That’s a smart move.

11. It all goes back to this one girl…

12. Everything except that one part.

13. That doesn’t sound good at all.

14. That would sell like hotcakes.

15. Skeletons in the closet.

I know a bunch of you have been in these so-called “situationships.”

Tell us about your experience in the comments! Don’t hold back now!

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15 Accurate Tweets About Sex and Dating

Funny and painful. Kind of sums up dating and being in a relationship, doesn’t it?

That’s kind of sad, actually…

Sad, but true!

In the spirit of soul-crushing experiences, let’s take a look at some funny tweets about sex and dating. Yay!

1. Or maybe even 60…

2. It sure does add up.

3. Two sides of the coin.

4. You are not alone, my friend.

5. That’s a bummer.

6. Let’s go to the rankings.

7. Making all kinds of noise.

8. You might as well.

9. What a surprise that must’ve been.

10. Doing it all wrong.

11. That’s not a date?

12. She quit her job for YOU.

13. Is that good or bad?

14. Way to ruin the friend group.

15. I’m trying…trust me.

I hate to do this to you, but…please share some of your own awkward/painful/hilarious sex and dating stories in the comments.

We need to feel better about ourselves over here!!

The post 15 Accurate Tweets About Sex and Dating appeared first on UberFacts.