Sometimes we’re just better off being alone.
That is a life fact many of us need to come to grips with.
So Redditor Zuzpo wanted to hear from everybody who has been disappointed on the search for a mate—sometimes that free dinner just ain’t worth it.
They asked:
“What was the moment you realized that you shouldn’t have showed up to a date?”
I’m Pooped Out!!
“An alleged friend told me her coworker and I would be great together and wanted to do a double date at a festival with her and her husband.”
“Date suggested he and I meet up the night before to get to know each other and I suggested a gaming bar I’d wanted to try.”
“Date time arrives and he’s not there.”
“He finally shows up and tells me he had to stop home to let the dogs out so they don’t s**t all over the floor.”
“He then proceeds to show me a picture of a floor covered in dog s**t and says guess it didn’t work.”
“He is still wearing his work clothes.”
“It has been three hours since work ended and he went home to deal with the dogs but didn’t change.”
“He proceeds to eat the rest of the charcuterie plate I ordered by himself and then orders wings for himself.”
“We decide to check out a game since I have now paid for more game time.”
“He wants a mall madness game that is not designed for two people.”
“We settle on a playable game. It’s not great.”
“As we are wrapping up he tells me the last date he took here fucked him in the parking lot he stares at me expertly.”
“I tell him that’s not going to happen.”
“I tell my friend I’m skipping the festival.”
“He’s shocked and thought we had a spark.” ~ Polyf**kery
Wouldn’t it be better to just be gay?
“My mom met a nice girl during the day, unknown to me.”
“My mom and I were supposed to go out for dinner that night.”
“She invites the girl, unknown to me, then ditches the dinner once she knows she has set me up on a date.”
“My mom was very worried I was gay at the time.”
“The girl and I get to chatting over drinks, she’s fun, flirty, cute – and a meth-addicted prostitute who thought it was some weird kink game that she was being hired to get into the middle of.”
“So…YEA. She was understanding when we realized the mix-up, but I gave my mom shit for that one for years.” ~ Yvaelle
Maybe I’ll Drive
“He was picking me up and texted me ‘here’ a little early so he had plenty of time to do this before I got down to his car.”
“But he waited until I opened the door and there was about a dozen magazines (like rifle mags) on the passenger’s seat and he said ‘hope you’re not some crazy liberal! don’t mind these mags.’”
“And then brushed them onto the floor. It was super awkward/cringy.”
“Also it was my first date since I rough breakup and the rest of it was just as bad if not worse, I ended up crying in the bathroom half way through.” ~ lebrunjemz
From Hinge to “Unhinged!”
“Matched with a girl on Plenty Of Fish, we were talking for a while and she worked out she knew someone I had worked with in the past.”
“I asked him what she was like, he said she’s ok and not ‘mental or anything’, little did I know he really didn’t like me because I was better at the job then he was and he was straight up lying his a** off.”
“So I arrange a coffee date between our houses, she only lived like 5-10 minutes away and the nearest shopping centre cafe was 10 minutes away.”
“I arrive and wait a few minutes and in walks this girl 10-15kg heavier then her display picture with a baby in a pram, she recognised me and sat down like this was normal.”
“The entire time we had been talking she’d told me she had a daughter who was 2, I told her I had a 2 year old son as well.”
“Turns out her daughter was 2 months not 2 years and she never corrected the fact.”
“Also this is the first time we had met and she asked me 5 minutes into the date if I could buy her baby formula.”
“One look at her and I could tell she actually needed the formula and was in a desperate situation so I bought it for her because I’m a sucker and didn’t want her baby to starve.”
“I politely told her it was never going to work because she straight up lied, she said yeah fair enough and left.”
“About 2 months later I was talking to another girl on POF who happened to be friends with her, she seemed normal and not like the complete psychopath I’m sure she was.”
“The crazy one from the first part of the story rang me (she stalked me through my friends) and told me how the 2nd one was bats**t mental, I said I didn’t believe her and she hung up on me.”
“Ten minutes later my messenger starts going off, it’s girl #1 sending film clips and news articles of girl #2 having a complete psychotic break and torching her ex boyfriends car.”
“On camera in a shopping centre.”
“So it all worked out well and I dodged the bigger bullet because girl #1 thought I was too nice a guy to deserve girl #2.” ~ Aussiegamer1987
Stalker
“I went on a date a few months after me and my college gf had broken up.”
“I had matched with this girl off of tinder and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the break up.”
“I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later.”
“I walked in the restaurant and my ex is sitting at the table under that girl’s name.”
“I turned around to walk out and got a tinder notification from the girl I had agreed to meet ‘you’ll never be able to get away from me.’”
“Should have stayed home that night, and steer clear of blind dates.” ~ Automatic_Doctor4934
Good Luck
“When at the party I met her at and her boyfriend said ‘Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her s**t.’” ~ cleric3648
Use an Uber
“When he said ‘wow you even walk like a guy!’”
“As soon as he got out of my car. Whatever that means.”
“He then proceeded to be racist, sexist, and homophobic during this ‘date’, which was more of a monologue from his part, and even implied I’m fat and that he had no interest in me before trying to kiss me.”
“Please don’t take people you don’t know on dates using your car.”
“You’ll be stranded with them.” ~ redvaporeon-sk
And you are?
“When he said he was actually from an entirely different state.”
“He looked completely different from his photos and then asked if he could borrow $400 for Methadone before we even ordered.”
“I left immediately. Been stalking me for over ten years. Fun times.” ~ AlienFemTech
Suspicious Behavior
“She was a kleptomaniac.”
“Thought she was exaggerating or maybe just went through a tough time.”
“Then she showed me the pile of legal paperwork.”
“She was on 1st name terms with the judge she had been to court so many times.”
“Then she asked me to touch her back.”
“Said she felt super sweaty from the MCAT she’d taken and then showed me how she disposed of her used needles because she was a heroin addict.”
“Should have noped out sooner but she was sweet but yeah, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend.” ~ DeadlyChaffinch
Gross…
“When he didn’t let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids chicken tender meal- I’m 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself he spit pieces of chicken at/on me.” ~ EstetheAinur
Yeah, I’m just going to plan for a Golden Girls scenario.
This is nonsense—wildly entertaining to read about… but nonsense none the less.
he assumed she makes everything from scratch.
Gillian Not Jillian 
❁ (@TiruHilaryleee) 
(@punsfornuns) 
