If You’re a True Crime Junkie, These Tweets Are for You

True crime TV shows are more popular than ever right now. Everyone and their mother is obsessed with the latest shows about murder, mayhem, and the macabre.

So in the spirit of all this true crime hoopla, let’s take a look at some hilariously accurate tweets about these television programs.

1. Weirdos

2. STOP

3. Dead as a doornail

4. In a trance

5. You can’t come in

6. Ellen!

7. Three types

8. The new thing

9. All the good stuff

10. Hahaha

11. We don’t believe you

12. That’s all you need

13. You got my attention

14. No clue

15. WAY too much time left

I have to admit…I am one of these people…

The post If You’re a True Crime Junkie, These Tweets Are for You appeared first on UberFacts.

Kidnapping Victims Explain What It’s like to Be Snatched

The idea of being taken, just taken away without any agency or control over what might happen…it’s terrifying. These 10 AskReddit users all survived their ordeals, and many of them even fought until they escaped. But some were just plain lucky, and that’s the most terrifying of all – sometimes, survival is just dumb luck.

1. “She..wanted to fill the gap”

When I was maybe 10 or 11, my neighbour kidnapped me. She was this single woman in her 50s who was always super, super nice to me. She was always on her porch, and she’d wave when I came home from school. Anyway, I was walking home from school and she was waving as usual, but this time she was beckoning me over. I went up to her porch and she asked me if I wanted some meatloaf she made. I loved meatloaf and she seemed harmless, so I said yes. I expected her to come outside with a plate or something, but instead she called me in and told me to sit downstairs. I felt weird about it, but I followed her into her basement and sat down on her couch. She brought me a plate of meatloaf and I watched Pokemon 2000 on VHS. She had a freezer with those tube popsicle things too. After I ate, I told her I needed to go home, and she told me my parents called and asked her to keep me while they ran errands. I felt weird about it and suspected she was lying, but I just kinda went along with it.

I remember I asked her if I could get my gameboy at one point from my house and she said my parents told me not to let me out of her sight. I remember watching Men In Black and falling asleep. When I woke up, I tried leaving, but the door was locked. She left some banana pudding for me on the table for when I woke up, so I just had that and went back to sleep. She opened the door at like, 5 in the morning, woke me up, and asked me if I wanted to go home. She looked like she had been crying. I told her yes and she let me go.

My parents asked me where I was and I just told them I went home with a friend after school. I didn’t have a cell phone, so it was pretty normal for me to just be gone for a day.

I didn’t see my neighbour on her porch the next Monday, so I knocked on her door. She came outside and we talked on the porch about stuff. We never talked about that night, and she probably thought I didn’t even realize what happened. She didn’t say, but I think she had a kid who died a couple years prior and wanted to fill the gap. I never hated her for it or anything. Until I moved a couple years later, I would sit on her porch after school most days and she’d listen to my neat facts about space.

2. For Ransom

This happened a while ago when I was 6. I come from a place where kidnappings are unfortunately common, and when this happened it was at an all time high. We lived in a fairly nice neighbourhood, no kidnappings there, no theft, great neighbours. We felt pretty safe and therefore, my mom wasn’t too worried. Our house was a gated residence so we had a front yard and backyard. I was out one morning in the front yard, playing with some toys while my mom was inside working or cooking or whatever. Someone knocked on the front gate, me being a dumb child decided to go up and ask who it was. It was this fairly old man who asked for some water, me being the nice, helping child opened the door and was snatched immediately.

I don’t particularly remember what happened after that but I woke up in a compound which I’m pretty sure was far from home. They hadn’t done anything bad to me as far as I know. But they did try to feed me food that I didn’t like. I was a picky child and so, all I ate was fruit. They had asked for ransom, which to this day, I don’t know how much it was. They just kept me in a room all day with duct tape on my mouth and ropes around my feet and hands. They did take duct tape off to let me drink water or eat food. Anyways, a few days later, the police busted them and arrested them. They ended up in jail for life is what I was told.

Not too long after that, my parents decided to move to a different country and now all is well. I still think about what might have gone wrong if they had sold me into child slavery or something (fairly common in my country). Life resumed after that, I’m as happy as a 20 year old can be. Nothing really changed. I still don’t know why I was kidnapped, maybe for ransom or whatever. In exactly a month, it’ll be my 14th kidnapping anniversary!

3. Big Tony 

Two years ago, I was very hungover on a summer Saturday in Manhattan. A girl I was seeing at the time was angrily getting her things together and proceeded to storm out of the apartment, which was shared by myself and four other guys. My old roommates had moved to a new apartment the night before. There are boxes and miscellaneous stuff everywhere. I’m laying in bed, dying. It’s around 9 or 10 am.

About five minutes after the girl storms out, theres a knock at the door. She must have forgotten her phone charger or something. I get up in my boxers, walk across the living room where all the unpacked/half packed stuff is, and open up the door. Behind the door was one of the scariest faces I’ve ever seen. Very beady eyes, thick mustache, scarred up face, balding man in his 50’s. I was holding the door slightly ajar. Since it wasn’t who I thought it was, I stepped behind the door a bit to hide my pale, half-naked body, and stuck my head through the crack.

He asked if Billy was home (one of my old roommates). I told him that Billy had moved out the day before. With that said, he put all of his bodyweight into the door, sending me flying back. This dude was enormous. As I was recovering from this and trying to think why someone would be so angry with Billy, this gentleman open-hand slaps me so hard I hit the ground. I am now awake.

My new houseguest identifies himself as Big Tony, and demands to speak with Billy. I go into my room (right off of the living room where Big Tony is now setting up shop) and put on pants and grab my phone. Tony has already made it very clear not to call the police, or try to run out of my apartment or I might fall out of the window or get shot in the knees.

Apparently, Billy owes him a lot of money. I call Billy, who says he never heard of Big Tony, and Billy is convinced it’s a joke. Tony asks for the phone, where I hear Billy telling Big Tony where he can stick it and to get out of his old apartment. Tony is now upset, and starts telling Billy that his roommate (myself) might get hurt if he doesn’t learn some manners and come to the old apartment. Billy hangs up.

Tony, for some reason took a liking to me. He apologized for the slap, gave me cigarettes, and said he hoped that this would all work out. He constantly comments on the fact that I’m living like an animal (since theres stuff all over the apartment), and asking if me and my old roomies watch betting sports. We never watched sports, never had cable. He asks if Billy’s last name is something which it isn’t, and then asks if Billy is from somewhere that he isn’t, and than asked if Billy is enrolled in a university that he isn’t. I inform Big Tony that I’m fairly confident he is in the wrong apartment.

Just as I’m getting him to back off and believe that there might be more then one Billy living in an apartment building, there is another knock at the door. “If it’s the cops or your parents, I’m the maintenance guy”. (My parents were coming to help me move out that afternoon). I open the door, and it’s Henry, another one of my old roommates. I inform him he’s picked a bad time as he’s already waltzing inside to get some things. Tony poses as my uncle for a few minutes, before I intervene and tell Henry that this giant man is looking for Billy, who he believes owes him money. “Henry, do you guys gamble?” “Yeah, we gamble all the time.”

We played dice/cards a lot. I try explaining to Tony that we don’t gamble on sports, but now we have to go through the whole gambit again. After another half hour of questions with Henry, Tony is back to believing he is in the wrong apartment. He calls his “coworker” to get a picture texted to him, it’s not Billy. Okay. I tell Tony good luck and try to shoo him out of the apartment. No, it’s never that easy.

Tony wishes to take Henry and I out for coffee and doughnuts, his personal apology. I refuse. He won’t have it. I’m in a Starbucks ordering doughnuts and coffee, which we consume in a nearby park, and listen to Tony’s stories.

Half an hour later, he says we can leave (at this point it didn’t seem like we were being kept though) and we head back. Naturally no one believes us. We have a party in the old/pretty empty apartment. I stay at a friends place in the building, and wake up to knocks. Straight up ‘Nam flashbacks. It’s my buddy Tom, who also lives in the building. He tells me someone’s outside looking for me. Great.

I get dressed, and head outside to find Big Tony, who gives me a grocery bag filled with Beer and Cigarettes. Tom and a few other friends from the building come outside and we drink beer in styrofoam cups on the street whilst listening to Tony’s stories. Everyone believes Henry and I, and if I’m ever in Tony’s neighbourhood, I should call him for dinner on him.

4. Custody Kidnapping

I was ‘kidnapped’ when I was 7 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I lived with my mother and her awful boyfriend. I wasn’t abused physically, but looking back the mental abuse and neglect was very traumatic. Some borderline Lifetime movie things…

Anyways my father had visitation rights and picked me up every other weekend. One weekend he came to get me and saw that I had not eaten much (food was almost always under lock and key) and my mom and her boyfriend were nowhere to be found. So, my father told me, “Pack your stuff.”

We spent some time hiding out at different places with family, friends, even hotels in Laughlin and Vegas. It was like a mini vacation. I even remember staying at my dad’s girlfriend’s house when the cops showed up. I hid under the bed while they talked to her.

At the end of the day, I never had to go back to my Mom’s boyfriend’s house and my father won majority custody. I’m not sure how I would’ve turned out if I had stayed there. Thanks Dad.

5. Never accept a ride from an unaccredited taxi. Just don’t do it.

Me and my mate spent 2010 new years eve in Philly. We were partying with bunch of our friends but we wanted to go “downtown”. Additional vital information, we’re both Icelandic, completely naive about our surrounding.

After walking around the area, going to a whole bunch of strange parties, etc… We’re trying to find a taxi when this guy drops by us and offers us a ride, mind you, it was 2 AM and we were like “Heck yeah man! Thank you so much!” and we jump in the rear seat. He said it would only take 10 minutes, after about 30 minutes, in a really strange and shady hood we figured something wasn’t adding up. He then parked the car, told us he was going to pick up a friend of his.

About a minute after he left we were going to run for it but he had locked the doors with the baby lock, so we’re like.. welp.. this is it.. this is how it ends..

Neither one of us remembers what happened but we somehow managed to escape and we hid behind some fence. We saw the guy coming back with like couple of friends and they began searching for us.

Being rather inebriated, we have no memory how we got back home, we didn’t remember what street our apartment was at, which part of town but around 7 AM we finally got back. When we told our friends about this story, they all agreed that we were probably the dumbest and luckiest guys they’ve ever known.

6. Internet Horror Story

I met a man online who was around my parents age, he pelted me with compliments and told me how pretty I was and everything a teenage girl wants to hear.

I met him in secret every other weekend for three months. I would tell my parents I was staying at a friend’s house and then he and I would get a hotel room for the weekend.

He started getting really controlling, bordering on physically abusive so after a particularly harsh fight I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore.

A few months later he showed up at my job as I was leaving and told me he wanted me to come to his house (2 hours away) so we could talk about stuff. I told him I had nothing to say to him and tried to leave.

He told me he had recorded us together and that if I didn’t go with him he would make sure my parents, my siblings and my boss got a copy of it. That we were just going to talk so he could explain why he acted the way he had.

I was terrified of my parents finding out I’d been lying, so I went with him.

He made me drive his car there (probably because we had to go through a toll booth with a camera and it would look less against my will if I was the one driving).

We got to his house and he immediately turned violent. He shoved me into his room and locked the door.

He ended up keeping me there for a week. During that time he pretended to be my father and called into work for me. He made me sign onto all of my accounts online (email, AIM, MySpace) he had a key logger set up on his computer so now he had all of my passwords. He took my phone the moment we got to his house.

He wrote a “script” and had me call nearly everyone in my phone and tell them I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore and never to contact me again.

One day he took me for a drive to this park bordering a river and told me that was where he was going to bury me. That night I started actively fighting back (prior to that I thought he was just going to let me go eventually).

I kicked him in the testicles and hit him in the face but that only made him mad and he shoved me on the bed and knelt on my back with my hands behind my back while screaming at me and whacking me in the side of the head.

He was so pissed off that night that he used my phone and called my dad around 6am and left him a voicemail saying “You don’t know where your daughter really is or what she’s been up to and you never will.”

My dad called my phone probably 20-30 times.

The guy eventually was afraid he’d the police so he had me answer and told me to tell my dad it was all a joke. He sat pretty much on top of me and told me if he caught me trying to tell him where I was he would kill me.

I told my dad my friends and I had been drinking and it was one of my friends idea of a prank.

When I was little I had this friend who I would play with but she ALWAYS wanted me to spend the night and would pressure me into calling and asking my parents. My dad came up with a trick where he would ask me “Are you going to watch wrestling tonight?” And if I said yes it meant I wanted to stay. If I said no it meant I wanted him to say I could not stay.

At the end of our phone call for the first time in probably ten years he asked are you going to watch wrestling tonight? And I said no.

When we hung up he called the police and called all of my friends that he could get ahold of. He eventually called the ONE friend who I had told about this guy. And he had all his info, name, phone number, everything.

Within 24 hours I was safe at home, confessed everything to everyone, got a bunch of phone calls from friends who were confused and worried and everything worked out.

I never ever go anywhere without multiple people knowing where I’ll be and who I’m with.

I carry pepper spray and a self defense weapon.

And I never met another person online.

I’m 31 now and it’s still something I think about more often than I’d like to.

7. “I’m going to kill you. You’re going to die.”

Around three years ago I had just started a relationship with my current girlfriend. She hadn’t told any of her family that she was gay as they were very homophobic, so they knew nothing of me and our relationship. However, we were slightly careless as you are in the beginning of a relationship, and we updated Facebook with pictures of us together- although we didn’t state that we were in a relationship.

So, her parents basically worked out what was going on between us, and one night I get a call from my upset girlfriend saying that her parents had turned up at her house unannounced (they lived abroad so this was a big deal) and had told her they were taking her to their home (abroad) the next day, and she had no choice about it. Bear in mind she was 22 at the time and an adult, but they made significant threats to her and she didn’t know what to do as they stopped her leaving the house. They took away her phone and she couldn’t contact me, so I hopped on a train and travelled the 2 hours to her flat to find out what was going on.

I wasn’t really aware of the situation and how dangerous it was, and I certainly should never have entered the house, but I was worried about my girlfriend.

As soon as I turned up her parents took me inside, and locked the door. This is when I started to get scared. They didn’t speak great English and were shouting at me in Spanish, and they grabbed my bag and took my phone, wallet and iPod away and locked them in a different room. My girlfriend and her sister were there, and they had my girlfriend trapped in a different room. They sat me on the sofa and started interrogating me in broken English, and pulling my hair and stuff. I was surrounded by my girlfriends mum, older sister, and her dad who was this huge guy that I would have no hope in fighting off as I was just like, a little 19 year old girl. We were on the top floor of an apartment building so I had no escape except the locked door. I kept asking to leave, and trying to leave but they stopped me, and were shouting still. Also, I could hear my girlfriend shouting help from in another room (it later came out they had been hitting her and stuff).

They started bringing in towels, which was strange and I kept saying ‘what are these towels for’, then her dad looked me dead in the face and went deadly silent.

He said to me. ‘I’m going to kill you. You’re going to die’. And I thought, ‘welp…’.

I suddenly went really calm and stopped trying to resist. I remember thinking, okay, this is how I die, and I was very calm. I started thinking how they would get rid of my body (I don’t know why) and how my parents would find out, or if they ever would, and that no one knew I was there. I also started becoming really sarcastic to whatever they said as I knew I was completely overpowered. Oh, and I remember that I really needed to pee, and for some reason this became the only thought in my head. It’s like, when you’re being kidnapped there’s never a good time to ask for the toilet? And I wanted to die with some dignity I guess! So I kept asking to use the toilet, and for some reason they said yes but that I had to be watched. So that was humiliating.

Anyway, whilst they were distracted by the whole toilet thing, my girlfriend found where they had hidden my phone, and she managed to get out of the front door and ran away. Her mum and dad chased her, but she hid (she told me this later) and she called the police and they came and saved me, thank god. They denied the whole plan to kill me thing when the police got there, even pretended they didn’t speak English! In terms of what I wouldn’t do now: I’ve very careful about knowing my exits (I’m a mental health nurse and have to visit patients home often so it comes in handy at work too!) and I’m wary around my partners family, who I still have to see a couple times a year and pretend they didn’t try to kill me.

8. Home Invader

My sister was taken from our home at knife point. We stupidly left a back sliding glass door unlocked and a man who worked at a traveling fair that was in our town came in, took a knife from our kitchen, went upstairs and grabbed my little sister who was 9 at the time. I luckily awoke when she let out a little scream and saw the man dragging her down the stairs. I screamed for my father who jumped out of bed and gave chase. He caught them about 10 feet outside the sliding glass door. The kidnapper told my dad he would kill my sister if he got any closer. My father told him you’ll have to kill me first. My sister elbowed the guy and my father immediately jumped him. Just to let you all know my father was then and is still a big dude. At 67 he’s still lifting but back then he was beast. The fight didn’t last long and the guy was in a coma for 2 days.

The aftermath was tough. My sister couldn’t sleep in her room for over a year. I would often stay up all night with a baseball bat guarding my family. Slowly we all healed. My sister is married with her own kids now and is a great but over protective mom.

9. Ex-Boyfriend

I was around 18 years old, I’d been dating this guy for about 8 months and I broke up with him because my parents were treating me differently and I didn’t like it. It put too much strain on both my bf and I, and my parents and I’s relationship and I just couldn’t take it any longer. About a week after I broke up with him he showed up at my parent’s house wanting to talk to me. My mom answered the door, I didn’t want any part of it, so she told him to go away. He got belligerent and eventually left, so she called the police. He was pulled over, and given a warning, then they let him be. In retrospect they, probably should have examined his car a little closer.

Dad was at work, mom took sister somewhere, and I was playing Mario Party alone. There was a knock at the back door and I look through the glass from the couch and he was there looking in trying to talk to me. Again, I didn’t want any part of it so I ignored him. He got mad and shouldered the door. The frame cracked. He did it again and the door burst open. I said, ‘What the heck are you doing?’ and he grabbed me and put me over his shoulder and carried me outside. I figured he was just going to put me in the front seat and leave with me but then he popped the trunk of his car with the remote and I realized what was going to happen. I twisted a little, which surprised him, and he dropped me, but then he put me in a headlock where I couldn’t breathe and I stopped struggling. He tossed me in the trunk and shut it and drove off.

At this point, I was doing everything I could to get out of the trunk ((It was a Buick Le Sabre; the model which, of course, doesn’t have a way to open the trunk from the inside)) so I started kicking the back of the seats to get out. I eventually got one open enough to stick my head through to get some air. It was in August, and the temperatures outside were riding 95 degrees, so inside the trunk was about 110. I got my head out and could finally breathe. He had calmed down a bit, and I knew he just wanted to talk to me, so he didn’t really freak when I was able to climb into the backseat.

When he was putting me in the trunk, the neighbor kids were outside and they saw what was happening and ran inside to tell their parents. Parents called the police, police called my mom, and my mom was doing 95 down the highway to get home.

Ex-bf drove me an hour and a half away to an old camp he used to go to and we talked for a while. He then took me to Pizza Hut cause I said I was hungry. I remember wondering why no one was concerned that I was waiting for a pizza without shoes or socks on. Because no one said anything, I figured my parents hadn’t realized what had happened yet. Little did I know, an Amber Alert had already been issued.

Anyways, he decided he didn’t want to go to jail, so he was going back to his workplace/place of residence to get his shotgun. When he got there, the cops were waiting for him and tried to taser him. They missed and he jumped back in his car and did a backwards u-turn. He started driving through the city at speeds of 60-85 MPH.

If you’ve never been in a high speed police pursuit, let me tell you; it’s a rush. Sooooo much adrenaline.

Anyways, he was going to get on the highway but the police had it blocked off with spike strips so he turned onto a backroad that dead ended. He ended up crashing into a tree. ((I was in the front seat by this time.))

The cops swarmed the car, pulled us both out, and since they didn’t realize who we were, cuffed us both and put us in separate cop cars. Once everything was situated, the un-cuffed me and put me in a police SUV and transported me back to the police station in my city. Parents and sister were there, freaked out, found out I was ok. The whole ordeal lasted around 10 hours. Ex got 4 years and is now out of jail in a half-way house.

10. Mall Burglary   

It way my 13th birthday party, and to celebrate my parents allowed me to invite about 8 girls over for a slumber party to celebrate. In addition to the slumber party, my mom took us out as a group to the mall since that’s what a bunch of 13 year olds in the late 90s liked to do for fun.

Everything started out great – we were having fun, going places together like Abercrombie, Limited Too, Claires, etc. We had just left the Limited Too store when all of a sudden we heard loud bangs and a bunch of screaming. About 5 stores down was a jewelry store, and it had just been robbed. My best friend and I were standing next to each other and were a little ahead of the rest of our group. The burglars were running straight at us, and we panicked and stood still not sure what to do. They kept running for us, and started reaching out to grab us. A woman saw all of this, and quickly grabbed both of us and dragged us into the nearest store. The store manager quickly slammed the safety gate, and the burglars grabbed someone else right next to where we were standing as a hostage and ran off. The woman who grabbed us and the store manager, still in panic mode, had ushered us to the back of the store and we sprinted down the back alley to get the heck out of there.

Now outside, the woman told us she was a mother herself and wanted to help us get back to my mom. But seeing how this was before the age of cellphones and the mall had been robbed for the first time in its history (it had only been open for about a year), we had no direct way of finding my mom. So this lady offered to let us hang out in her minivan while we waited for my mom to come and find us. I couldn’t remember where my mom had parked, so we decided to wait out by the main entrance parking lot until things died down. About 90 minutes later, we finally spotted my mom…and about 8 cops who all were trying to figure out where the heck we were. I don’t blame the lady for helping us, and I still think she was trying to do what she thought best, but she probably shouldn’t have made us stay in her van with her for so long without trying to contact anyone to let them know she had us.

My friend and I both freak out when people suddenly grab (or even touch) us unexpectedly, and I spook at the slightest of sounds anymore, especially if it sounds even remotely like a gunshot.

Want more? Check out the articles below:

We know you can choose a lot of sites to read, but we want you to know that we’re thankful you chose Did You Know. You rock! Thanks for reading!

The post Kidnapping Victims Explain What It’s like to Be Snatched appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman Lost Clumps of Hair After She Bought Conditioner Spiked with Nair

You know that girl who licked a carton of Blue Bell ice cream and put it back, sparking a nationwide panic about tampered-with products? Yeah, apparently people are out there tampering with hair conditioner, too, as one poor woman in Wisconsin learned the hard way.

Taffy Jo Trimm and her daughter Ashley Rose bought a bottle of Pantene conditioner from a Walmart in New Richmond, Wisconsin. Conditioner bottles often don’t have any sort of protective seal on them, and, in this case, the conditioner must have been tampered with by some heinously evil individual. After Ashley used the conditioner, her hair started falling out in massive clumps. Also, the conditioner was an “ugly pink color” instead of the usual white, Taffy wrote on Facebook.

Attention new Richmond Walmart shoppers be aware of shampoo and conditioner you buy there as my daughter Ashley Rose…

Posted by Taffy Jo Timm on Sunday, July 28, 2019

“Attention New Richmond Wisconsin Walmart shoppers,” Taffy wrote. “be aware of shampoo and conditioner you buy there as my daughter Ashley Rose bought some two days ago and someone mixed Nair in her conditioner bottle!!!! As I speak she is losing hair and crying!!”

After the ordeal, Ashley had bald spots on her head. She wrote her own Facebook post about her painful experience, sharing photos of her hair loss.

Posted by Taffy Jo Timm on Monday, July 29, 2019

“My hair was finally the way I loved it to be and now it’s gone,” she wrote. “Pictures do not do it justice or show the 100 percent damage it has caused me. My heart hurts terribly…Check your bottles wherever you get them, nothing can be trusted anymore.”

Ashley tried to get hair extensions, but her remaining hair was brittle and falling out. She ended up shaving her head.

Ashley and Taffy reported the incident to the police, who will be reviewing the security camera footage to determine who tampered with the conditioner and whether other bottles were affected.

The post A Woman Lost Clumps of Hair After She Bought Conditioner Spiked with Nair appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Who Broke the Law…And Got Away with It

I imagine most of us have broken a law or two – even if it was just an illegal u-turn – so you don’t have to feel terrible about yourself.

See if your stories match up with these from people on AskReddit who admit to breaking the law and getting away with it.

1. That is awesome

“I stole my own car from the tow impound lot, best part was getting the certified letter months later that they were going to auction it if I didn’t come and pay for it.”

2. Lead foot

“I used to have a total lead foot.

One day, I was driving to my ex-wife’s parent’s house by myself. They lived in a small town right off of the freeway. Now, on the freeway I was driving about 80 mph (130 kph), which was standard for most drivers. When you pull off the freeway, it immediately drops to 25 mph (45kph).

So, I pull onto this main drag and start driving through the town. I’m about a mile down when suddenly I notice a police car pull up behind me. I look down and see that I’m driving at 45 mph (70kph).

A few things hit all at once: First, I couldn’t afford a ticket. I was 20 miles over. I would have ended up with a $200+ ticket just because I failed to decelerate. I was only three blocks from my in-laws, AND the the officer hadn’t turned on his lights yet.

For reasons only known to me, I immediately pulled over, turned off the car and started walking. The officer pulled up behind me, not knowing what to do, but still with NO LIGHTS turned on. I just kept walking without turning around.

I get to my in-laws and tell them what happened. They tell me that I have to go back for my car, so I do. The officer was gone. No consequences whatsoever, never received a ticket in the mail, never heard a thing. I would never, ever do it again.

And that’s how I got out of a major speeding violation.”

3. At least you tried

“My friends and I didn’t pay for our dinner at Steak n Shake this past weekend. I stood waiting at the register trying to pay for 20 minutes but no one came to take my money. It was 12:30 am before we left.”

4. Thief!

“Stole a Blue Angels flag from the hanger they were parked in.

When I was in the navy the Blue Angels vistied the air base I was stationed at. They proceeded to kick all of our planes out of our hanger and I had to fix our birds out in the rain. In a fit of contempt, on the last day they were there, I went into the mezz and stole the flag hanging from the overhead beams.

I still have the flag and wear it lake a cape from time to time.”

5. Grand theft auto

“Assisted in semi stealing a car.

Almost 2 decades ago my cousin calls my dad and says his car broke down. As my dad has friends with heavy equipment he figured my dad could get a trailer to tow it on.

So my dad my uncle and I go pickup a flatbed tow truck from a friend of his then drive 2 hours to pickup the car. We find it near where it should be on the side of the highway so we load it up and go to a reststop to secure it on the truck better.

As my dad and my uncle are attaching straps I’m looking at the car and notice something is odd. My cousins car(late 80s Audi) had broken speakers for what ever reason they all stopped work so instead of replacing them with with normal speakers he used house tower speakers big ones at that back seat and passenger seat. I’m noticing there arent any tower speakers in the car I pointed this out and they stop and start looking at the car then checked the plate number they dont match(cousin had a vanity plate) my dad immediately hooks the call raises the bed and let’s it roll off into a space at the rest area.

We hop into the truck and drive off to find the car. We find it less then a mile away.

Audi reliability jokes aside what are the odds of two identical audi’s same year color and even rims and tires being broken down that close to each other.”

6. I would’ve done worse

“When I was a teenager, my Labrador got out of the yard and I finally found him at the pound with a bullet in his shoulder. I had to put him down. I inadvertently found out who did it. I spray painted his corvette. After he got it repainted, I did it again.

Editing for clarity. This was a small town in the late 70’s, I did tell the cops when he was shot but we didn’t know by who, they said they could do nothing. As far as I remember even when I found out who did it they said they couldn’t help me. I found out who did it because my sister went to a party and a guy there was talking about a dog he shot.

He lived in the same block where animal control picked my injured dog up. Of course I took my dog to the vet, but as a poor 16 year old, I did not have the funds needed for surgery. If I recall correctly it was $400, which would have been a small fortune for me. I had the vet put him down. He was a sweet lab, I bawled my eyes out for weeks.

One of the local cops was a family friend, he put 2 and 2 together, and after the second paint job, he stopped by my work and mentioned what happened to this guys car, and looked at me and said he hoped it wouldn’t happen again. i took the hint and left him alone after that. This all happened over 40 years ago, but to the best of my recollection, that is what happened.”

7. No way

“I went to Thailand to kick a drug habit. On the plane on the way there I got talking to a guy who knew a guy (drug users have an uncanny way way of picking each other out). The withdrawals were kicking in hard so the idea of getting just a little bit to tide me over was too strong to resist. We got off the plane and went to his friend’s club.

All notion of quitting drugs evaporated and I went on an unholy bender. Anyway, cut to 3 weeks later and I am due to fly home. I get the brilliant idea of stocking up on drugs at local Thai prices and bringing them back to my country for resale. I bought a bunch of drugs and got on the plane. I had a stop over in Singapore. As I walked through the terminal I looked up and noticed the big signs in English that say “UNDER SINGAPORE LAW, DRUG TRAFFICKERS WILL BE EXECUTED”.

I went to the bathroom and did a quick inventory of the stuff I had on me. More than enough to be killed for it. Swallowed/snorted as much as I could and flushed the rest. Had the worst 10 hour stop over of my life where I just kept thinking that every noise in the airport was an officer coming to arrest me. Made it out alive and never trafficked drugs internationally again.”

8. All good in the end

“I found out that this specific guy stole my phone, from checking previous text on my account and calling numbers they were in contact with. He wouldn’t admit he stole it, so I broke into his house via balcony, stole his laptop, and left a singed note to meet me and return my phone to get his laptop back. It totally worked and everyone got their stuff back.”

9. Shoplifting

“I accidentally shoplifted some pudding cups once.

I was at Target and was buying a couple of large bags of dog food which were in the basket part of the cart and several smaller items that were in the top part of the cart. I had tossed the pudding cups into the basket part before I put the dog food bags in and forgot they were there when I put all the smaller items on the belt to be rung up. They were hidden from view when the dog food bags were scanned.

I saw them when I was putting the dog food bags into the trunk. If the lines weren’t so long I would have gone back to pay for them, but 20+ minutes for a 99 cent item, I can live with that. If it were a more expensive item I would have returned to pay for it.”

10. Fraud

“Worked at a car dealership, broke many finance and insurance fraud laws on a daily basis for years. Most finance managers do and may not even be aware or it.”

11. Trespass

“I visited a abandoned building. Someone called the police and 30 minutes later we saw firefighters walking into the huge building just to search us. Luckily we saw it when we where already out.”

12. Brave

“Flown with weed in my checked luggage.”

13. Joy ride

“I was visiting the beach, and when walking home with a friend from a bar at 4am on a Sunday night, we came across a jetski on the beach being bounced around by the waves. My friend convinced me to ride it back with him the next mile to where we were staying. So we rode it in the ocean in pitch black while a storm was out in the distance (cool, not scary).

When we got to our place, we rode it around until the sun came up and then I found the jetski registration, found the guy on Facebook, played the good guy and messaged him and told him “hey I found your jetski at X location on the beach”, then went inside.

It was a pretty thrilling experience. I don’t know how illegal it was considering it was a jetski just left in the ocean, and I returned it, but it was still pretty fun.”

14. That sounds scary

“Probably climbing a signal tower, in Egypt. I realised afterwards that it was on military land… Then proceeded to climb it another couple of times. Oh to be young and carefree…”

15. Scammer

“When Xbox 360s used to get the red ring of death, I started up my own little side business. I used to buy new ones at wal-mart with cash, open it, and take a small razor and swap the bar code from the new 360 to the broken 360.

Then I would take the broken 360 with the new bar code and put it in the box and return it to Wal-Mart saying it was a gift but I “already had one”, all they used to do was scan the bar code to see if it was the same. Boom, new 360, and I would charge people $100 and get them the brand new 360 within 48 hours.”

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Police Arrested a Man in Missouri After a Loud Fart Gave Away His Hiding Spot

Headline of the year? So far, I’d say yes.

Police officers in Liberty, Missouri, were hot on the trail of a man with a felony warrant out for his arrest – he was wanted for possession of a controlled substance – and about to pull out all of the stops. Fox9 reports that K-9 units had been called in to track his scent, but they were never deployed…

Because the guy let a fart rip so loudly that it gave away his hiding place.

I mean, that is some gas, if you can’t hold it in long enough to not get arrested.

If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a ? day. ? #ItHappened

Posted by Clay County, Missouri Sheriff on Tuesday, July 9, 2019

The local police station had a bit of fun with the incident on their Facebook page (because how could you not?), and everyone who has read the story has had a similar (snort-laughing) response as well.

Here are some of the better ones (in this writer’s opinion).

“He had the right to remain silent, but he didn’t have the ability.”

“Boy, am I glad I caught wind of this story.”

“I fart the law and the law won.”

To be honest, I’m still not over it.

I swear, I’ll go to my grave wishing there was video.

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5 Fast Facts About Billy the Kid

Americans have a fascination with Billy the Kid, who walked the thin line between villain and hero with so much success that he remains venerated despite serious character flaws.

Outlaws like Jesse James and John Dillinger also fall into this category; they were violent men who used aggression and force to get what they wanted, yet there was something about them that makes the public want to see them more as Robin Hoods than dangers to society.

In the spirit of going with the flow, here are some facts about Billy the Kid that everyone who hates to love him and his ilk will find super interesting.

#5. His legend may be a bit exaggerated.

It’s said that Billy the Kid killed 21 people – one for each year of his short life – but evidence suggests the actual number is only 4, with 2 of them being prison guards, though he may have been a participant in the deaths of 5 more people.

#4. His real name is a topic of debate.

Henry McCarty. William Bonney. Henry Antrim. All of these names have been attributed to Billy the Kid over the years.

We know he was born Henry McCarty, but some say his father’s name was William Bonney. He started using his father’s name sometime in 1877, but often used his stepfather’s last name, Antrim, as well.

Another mystery for a mysterious man.

#3. He probably wasn’t left-handed.

There’s a famous image of the Kid wearing a gun belt with the holster on the left side, which led many lefties to claim him as their own. Sadly (for them), it’s been discovered that the image was flipped during reproduction, so the gun was actually on his right hip all along.

#2. He worked at a cheese factory.

Charlie Bowdre, a man who was part of Billy the Kid’s inner circle and previous part owner of said cheese factory, claims this is where the two of them first met.

#1. Plenty of people think he faked his own death.

The official story is that Billy the Kid died in Fort Sumner, New Mexico, on July 14, 1881. But many claim that Sheriff Pat Garrett helped the Kid fake his death and ride off into the sunset, though no substantiation for this claim has ever surfaced.

Ollie “Brushy Bill” Roberts and a man named John Miller both claimed to be Billy the Kid long after the date of his death. But Roberts’ cluelessness regarding gunfights and photo comparison evidence have shown him as an unlikely Kid, while Miller’s claims were put to rest in 2005 after DNA samples were not a match.

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In 1966, during his second…

In 1966, during his second stint in jail, Charles Manson refused release and requested to stay in prison. He’d spent half of his 32 years behind bars, and saw it as his home. Authorities refused and released him. He quickly formed the family.

You’ll Find These True Crime Tweets Hilarious, but Your Friends Will Think You’re Disturbed

True crime fans are a different breed, and I’m one of them.

We laugh in the face of danger… as long as it’s on television, in a book or on a podcast. Then we’re brave AF!

These 15 tweets just scream “true crime lovers unite” so tuck in and enjoy!

1. All good in the hood…

2. Everybody’s got their pastimes…

3. That’s dedication!

4. Sounds like you’ll find out eventually!

5. I have an idea…

6. She smart…

7. Really though…

8. Listen here gurlll…

9. If they only knew…

10. Impressive…

11. Parents!? What’s wrong with you?!???

12. If you’re care to not get murdered… this is self care.

13. Detective material…

14. Yes you do.

15. Step away from the cliff…

So, real talk… if an actual murderer came along… would you be ready?!

The post You’ll Find These True Crime Tweets Hilarious, but Your Friends Will Think You’re Disturbed appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Who Survived Murder Attempts Share Their Stories

The details of these 15 murder attempts are crazy and true – and, since they have happy endings, they also make for interesting reading.

Take a look at these stories.

#15. Got bad vibes.

Mines not extreme by any chance but a couple of years ago my brother and I went to walk the dog at like 11pm. We left through the side gate (live on a corner) and right as we exit I see this weird looking dude at the corner of the footpath walking weirdly towards us. Got bad vibes and told my brother to get the dog and get back inside. This dude is walking kind of side on and hiding something in his hand behind his back, as I’m getting my brother through the gate the dude says something like “oi mate can I come in, I need a blanket I’m freezing” I just ignored him and went inside and locked the door. We then get a call from the people who live two doors up, the same dude knocked on their door and their 10yo son opened it to see the dude holding a fucking hatchet. Anyway I’m glad I went with my gut on that one

#14. Thank god for nosy neighbors.

Thank God for my nosey neighbors. I always used to hate how nosey they were. Until this happened. When I was about 10 I was riding my bike outside. My parents always let me ride my bike outside during the summer, but only up and down the street we were on. One day, a man in a fan was parked across the street. He called to me, asking me if I had seen his dog and could help him find it. Me, being a dumb child, offered to help him find it, and I started walking towards his van. My neighbor, and older white lady, came BOLTING out of her house hooting and yelling, telling the guy to back off. The dude got back in his car in a hurry and took off, and it wasn’t until many years later that I realized how bad that situation could have been.

#13. I went furious.

I (18F back then, now 25) was on my way home at night after meeting a friend.

My home was just 10 minutes away from the trainstation. After a few minutes I felt someone following me. No big deal I tought, just someone else walking home. But I started walking faster. I realized the person behind me was catching up…weird. In my head I started to make up scenarios of how to defend myself if the person would attack me. Never would I think of this to actually happen.

Well, until I felt something on the back of my head, hitting me hard. I went furious. I turned around and attacked the guy. My mind was just full of anger towards this stranger who, what I thought, hit me.

We were wrestling until I fell on the ground. He was sitting on top of me, strangling me. I tried to crawl my nails into his eyes as deep as I could, but I started to black out. Suddenly there was this tought in my head “wake up, or you will die”…well, adrenaline kicked in again and I opened my eyes and screamed of the top of my lungs, attacking him again.

That helped. He stood up and began to run. I layed there for a few seconds, then I started to run home, still screaming.

My mom was already at our door and opened for me because my screams woke her up (or her mother senses, who knows?) She immeadiately called the cops and they could arrest him on the same night.

It turned out that he actually shot me in my head from behind. They assume that the gun didn’t work properly, the bullet didnt penetrate my skull and stuck in there, but as far as I know they never found out why the gun misfired. I’m glad though. He told the cops that he already followed me a few times in the past, but never had the guts to “do it”. He wanted to kill me and rape my dead body.

I know that’s a wild story, I have some swiss news paper articles as a source if someone cares though.

#12. They never found them.

I was 14 and outside in my garage petting my cat. It was November so it was already dark by 5pm. Someone opened the door behind me without me hearing, grabbed me by my Ponytail and starting dragging me outside. They hit me on my head with a brick and knocked me out. Pulled me halfway around my house when (I’m guessing this is when) they stabbed me on the left side of my stomach. This must have brought me out of my daze, because my mom said she heard me scream from inside where she and my brother And sister were in the kitchen. They came out the front door and saw me bleeding out on the side walk, called 911. had 12 stitches (double layer) a severe Concussion, and whiplash. didn’t eat and hardly slept for a week. They never found them.

Edit: somehow believed for nearly 14 years I was 15 when this happened, turns out I was 14. Edited to correct.

2nd edit: thank you so much for my first gold! ☺

#11. This was also a mistake.

I was riding in a train across Eastern Europe. I was running low on money and even though I had been warned that a woman should not travel alone in second class seating I did not spring for first class. I was sitting alone in one of the compartments that seats six. This was also a mistake and a very stupid one to sit alone. Eventually the train stopped and a man got on – he was very drunk. He came into my compartment and I guess thought I looked like his ex-wife.

He attacked me. If it were not for the fact that this particular station was the border between two countries I would be dead. Instead border patrol from both countries were on the train and while I was unable to scream, the door was open and at least a half a dozen uniformed men jumped him and saved me. I was in the hospital for a little while but recovered. At one point during the trial, one of the cops asked me if I wanted him and his buddies to hold the guy down while I hit him. I thought he was joking. So I said no, go ahead you do it. I was also joking. But it turns out they took it seriously and were about to! I did put a stop to that at least. But they were so offended that someone from their country would attack a young female American tourist. They were furious with him. So many people there depended upon tourism

#10. Don’t think he saw me at all.

Was a bouncer at a club in LA for a minute in the 90’s. Stopped some dudes clearly affiliated (in a gang) at the door after they refused security checks. After a few minutes of their threats & Manson lamps they left spewing all sort of warnings.

A little later it starts to wind down and because it’s a little slow & we’re overstaffed so I start to drink. I get a bit drunk (not wasted, but sleepy-buzzed) so I tell my buddy I’m going to go lay down in the back of his car for a while.

A few minutes after lying down I realize I have to piss. I get out and stumble a few into a spot between a guard gate (for a parking lot) and a building for a little privacy (there’s a few dozen people milling around in front of the club). I’m about 25 feet away from the club’s entrance and just off an alleyway.

While I’m relieving myself, a dude runs right past in front of me, around the guard booth to my rear, and unloads a 9mm (recovered rounds from back seat/trunk/roof/bumper) into the back seat of the car I’d just crawled out of.

“bam bam bam bam…” Unloading into the car.

He then turns, runs right back past me, and down the alley into the night. Don’t think he saw me at all.

Nothing really came of it. Except my partner was convinced I was a “marked man” and refused to be near me for a year or so.

Edit: holy crap, I kind of expected this to get buried. This was Los Angeles. I was about 25 (almost 50 now) so some specifics are long gone – but I remember this: my buddy was genuinely terrified by this, I don’t think he knew anything about it (in fact he seemed to interpret the event as a larger conspiracy to have me snuffed – not some random pissed off dude making a point/getting jumped in) and because he ditched the car/wouldn’t take my calls it got left at that. For those concerned with the car – it was, like, a 1980’s rusted out sedan…maybe a $500 car. Details about the slugs/number of rounds fired were relayed to me later by third parties (my friend and I were known in the neighborhood, people were talking about it). Thank you for the well wishes. Honestly though, this wasn’t even the first time I was shot at (it’s been a long strange trip).

Edit 2: Also, I tried to argue later that it’s just as likely the guy was shooting at someone else across the street and that the car just got in the way. But there were holes all through that thing. Back seat had 4/5, another 2/3 went into the back window and ended up in the backs of the front seats, another 2/3 rounds went right into the trunk. I honestly don’t know if he was a terrible shot, or if he hit right what he was aiming for.

Apologies if I’m doing this wrong, I suck at Reddit.

#9. He was stabbed 7 times.

I have a friend who had a party at his parents house when he was in high school that a ton of random people went to. He got super drunk during the party and went upstairs to go to sleep, knowing that his friends would watch the party for him. My friend woke up from his nap to a guy from his school sitting on top of him stabbing him death. He was stabbed seven times before it stopped and he laid there on the bed dying.

The only reason he is still alive is because his best friend came upstairs to ask him if it was alright if he made a frozen pizza and found him. The assailant was put in jail and recently was released and it scares me to know that a guy who “wanted to know what it would feel like to kill someone” (said during the trial), is still out there free.

#8. I was very confused.

My supposed best friend decided that my wife and I were too perfect. Therefore it must all be an act and I was obviously abusing her.

He was at our house after I made an awesome dinner and we were having fun drinking and singing karaoke.

I went to the kitchen to put some glasses away, came back and leaned on the couch with him slightly behind me to the left of me.

Then I heard a thunk and felt an amazing amount of pain on the top of my head. He had picked up the whiskey bottle on the table and smashed it into my skull.

I was very confused as to wtf was happening. Then the blood started pouring. I didn’t want to get blood everywhere so I went to the kitchen.

Dude is pacing back and forth saying weird shit. I thought about my gun (which was close by) but I wasn’t thinking quite straight. He left.

I had a huge concussion and still suffer side effects from it.

My number 2 goal in life is to live longer then that asshat just so I can shit on his grave.

#7. I was too late.

I was exiting a bar once after last call and was with a friend who was a medic. We saw a girl laying in a snow bank near a telephone pole who had just been hit by a car. We ran over and tried to help her, some others were already on the phone with 911 and I, not having any medical training didn’t have anything to contribute but didn’t want to just leave, the whole situation was concerning.

I turn around for a second and start to hear people screaming… I turn around a a minivan was heading for us, the few people around this woman. They already started to run, but I was too late…​

He hit me as I was trying to flee… put the car in reverse, ran over me again, and then went forward and run over me a third time.

Turns out the guy was high and drunk and got into a fight with the women’s bf, whom I bared a strong resemblance too. He thought I was him. Not to throw a pity party for myself but 9 years later I have a ton of medical issues, and my life pretty much started on a downward spiral since then… but sure, I guess I “survived”.

Edit: For everyone wondering about the guy, An off duty cop watched the whole thing go down, and copied his license plate number. He was apprehended 20 minutes later & charged with attempted murder, along with many other things.

He plea’d out to just 3 years in jail. He had actually killed someone else a few years before drunk driving. How they thought that was appropriate is beyond me.

#6. Next thing I know.

This all happened many years ago.

I was a lead man at a factory. A girl starts working there, and I take an interest. After a few months, I find out she is in a terrible drug-fueled abusive relationship. Every night, I tell her to call me, I’ll come get her. Finally after months, she calls me, I come get her and take her to my house.

The guy she was in the relationship with didn’t take too kindly to me taking her away. He spends the next 2 years harassing and threatening us.

A few months after she and I got married we went out for a few drinks. Her ex just happened to be at the bar we went to. He apologized to us for the threats and harassment. We were sitting outside talking with a few other people.

Next thing I know, I’m on my back on the ground with someone choking me. I try all I can to get them off of me, but being blindsided and them being on top of me, it wasn’t easy. As I struggle to get free, everything goes black, then I see “the light at the end of the tunnel”. In that moment I was certain that this was the end of me. I somehow manage to get a better hold of this person’s head, and I yank them off of me. We run to the car and get away.

A week or so later, my wife had been talking to everyone she thinks might know what happened. Turns out, her ex had paid 2 people $50 to kill me that night.

#5. Drive away, sweetheart.

I was abducted at a gas station during undergrad. The locks on my car were broken, and as soon as I got back in, a strange man came in and forced me to drive him to an ATM. I am paralyzed with fear so any sense or reason I had went out the window. He claimed he worked at Wendy’s and for my generosity he would give me all the Wendy’s I ever wanted. On the way to the ATM he showed me pictures of his daughters (on his clearly stolen cell phone). Then a Whitney Houston song came on the radio and he starts BAWLING his eyes out and screaming “Why do all the good people have to die, only bad things should happen to bad people.” I go to the ATM, take out cash, give it to him thinking it’s over. He then makes me get back in the car and drive him somewhere else. We pass by some train tracks and I’m thinking this is it, this is where I will be murdered. He asks me what I’m studying in school, and I tell him Biochemistry. “I believe in jet propulsion and all that shit. WE ARE NOT ALONE ALIENS ARE AMONG US.” He then makes me pull over at a gas station and he tells me “drive away sweetheart”. I call the cops, had to do a line-up, apparently this dude had done this to a ton of other women, and some were less unscathed than I was….

#4. He was perfectly civil.

Throwaway because it got some media. I’m a criminal defense attorney. I was representing this guy that had embezzled almost $500k from his business partner. He was looking down the barrel at several years in prison, a bunch of his assets had been seized by the government, was being sued by multiple creditors for north of $2 million, and was in the midst of an ugly divorce and wasn’t allowed to see his kids. I was one of 3 lawyers he had – criminal, civil and divorce. He was drinking a lot and using coke — I used to get this incoherent phone calls in the middle of the night that ranged from threats to crying.

He came to my office one day and asked for me but I was in court. My secretary said he was perfectly civil. He then went to his divorce lawyer’s office and shot him to death. Got stopped by the police a short distance away and was wounded in a shootout. He would later tell the cops that he had come to my office to shoot me that day and also planned to shoot his civil attorney.

#3. I was supposed to sleep there.

Sophomore year of college went with a friend to go hang out at his old college. We were supposed to crash with a few friends of his but we met a few ladies and ended up at a pool party. Next day went home and my friend started getting calls from one of his buddies moms asking if he’d seen him.

Turns out in the middle of the night a few guys broke into the house kidnapped my friends buddy and roomate. Took there car and drove them out to the middle if nowhere and executed them. I guess it was part of some gang initiation.

I was supposed to sleep there with my friend. I still somtimes think about it and get the shivers.

EDIT: spelling.

This happened in 1999 in stubenville ohio. Someone posted a link to the wiki page in the comments.

Thank you to all the people who commented. I posted this before work and then my phone went crazy for the next few hrs.

#2. My mom got mad at me.

Well. My mom got mad at me when I was 20 and I didn’t give her money for her birthday, which I’m assuming was to pay off drug dealers of hers, so she stabbed me between the ribs. Ended up getting stuck in the bone and had to get it taken out in surgery.

#1. I was that close.

I was doing volunteer work in Central America, working in a really bad area of the capitol city–it was a slum built on top of the city’s garbage dump. The whole place reeked of trash, and there were large metal cylinders coming up out of the ground throughout the area to vent the gas from decomposing garbage underground.

As a fellow volunteer and I walked down a dirt path, two men approached us. I’d never seen them before. They were acting strangely, but I just thought they were drunk or high–a lot of people in the area drank rubbing alcohol to get drunk, since it was cheaper than beer or liquor. Over time, drinking the rubbing alcohol would really mess with their brains.

As the men got closer, they began acting really friendly–too friendly. One of them came close to me, trying to put his arm around my shoulders. At first, it seemed like the behavior of a guy who gets happy and friendly when he’s drunk. However, an alarm went off in my head, and I gently–but firmly–pushed him away. I tried to make it seem lighthearted and playful, like, “Hey, man! How’s it going?” (Affectionate shove.) I didn’t want to make a scene, since I was a gringo; I didn’t want to seem like an ugly American.

This went on over and over down the whole path–he’d get close, I’d shove him off, he’d come close again. Finally, my friend and I came to a fork in the path, and we went one way while they went another.

After we got to the house of some people we knew, we told them about the two guys. (I was so focused on protecting myself, I didn’t even notice much of what was happening with the other guy.) They said, “Oh, everyone around here knows him. That’s his routine–he comes up to people, pretends to be friendly, puts him arm around them, then pulls out his knife and stabs them in the stomach.”

I was that close to getting stabbed to death.

Yikes! Dumb luck is really the best thing to hope for sometimes.

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