19 Accurate Tweets About People Who Love True Crime TV

If you start watching true crime TV, it’s pretty hard to stop. Because we used to have to wait for a marathon to pop up on cable… but now we’ve got Hulu, Netflix, Amazon… yeah, it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Here are 19 people that share your addiction and aren’t afraid to tweet about it…

1. They really do make you feel better about your life choices…

2. Ladies… same?

3. It’s going down tonight!

4. If I could watch this for 24 hours straight, I would do…

5. YAS! Why isn’t this a thing?!?

6. She is Richard. She’s been doing it for years…

7. He sees you when you’re sleeping…

8. I’m sure he thought about it.

9. Cheerio!

10. Plot twist: It’s you!

11. It never stops, fam!

12. Well, to be fair, it is a crazy show…

13. Nightmares are just dreams with surprise endings…

14. Actually, you’re in hell, but it’s more entertaining here.

15. Sounds like you’re winning!

16. But what if you weren’t prepared when the killer struck?

17. When did Ben Affleck wear that?!

18. At least you know your lane…

19. And then shit got DARK…

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled true crime programming…

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15 Lawyers Reveal When They Realized Their Clients Were Terrible People

Being a lawyer is a pretty tough gig. Especially the ones who have to defend really terrible clients who they know have done some awful things.

In this AskReddit article, lawyers open up and reveal when they realized they were representing some really bad folks.

1. Scummy firm

“Not the client but my managing partner.

The client was a senile 90-year-old man. He wanted to sell land worth a little less than a billion dollars to some businessmen. Suffice to say there were many who wanted to take advantage of the situation. One such person, to my dismay, was our managing partner.

The partner wanted to insert a provision that would have effectively funneled about 60% of the proceeds solely to him. You could see how his eyes gleamed at the mere mention of money. The provision “got lost in the revisions.” I was doing the revisions.

I’m no longer part of that scummy firm.”

2. Shed no tears

“A lot of years ago I used to work as a solicitors representative (cases go to crown court, barrister deals and I am there for paperwork, additional stuff with client etc).

70 something year old man had been in jail for 15 years for an assault on a child.

Solicitor and barrister working on getting him released due to him getting clean reports from just about everyone.

Guards took him out of jail to a dentist and as he entered the waiting room he saw two children and ran straight at them. Guards stopped him.

3 weeks later at court I was the one that sat him down in a room to explain that no, this isn’t a hearing to release you. It is so you can be commited to a mental health secure facility for the rest of your life.

He didn’t take that well, I shed no tears.”

3. Disturbing

“I’m on the other side, but I’ve got a defendant who went to prison for starving three adopted children to the point that they needed weeks of hospitalization, then got out of prison and married a guy with children so that she could start starving them, too. Listening to her interview where she attempts to justify what she did to both sets of kids disturbed me more than any of the murder cases I’ve worked on.”

4. Creep

“We had a client try and enforce a post-employment restraint against a 19 year old receptionist after she quit and started working for a competitor. The reason? He wanted to “make her life hell” because she wouldn’t sleep with him, a creepy 57 year old man.

Him trying to sleep with her was the reason she quit. Unsurprisingly he didn’t take our advice to discontinue his claim and so we ended up sending him elsewhere.”

5. Unfit mother

“She tried to sell her baby. I found out during a hearing, in front of the judge.”

6. Terrifying

“I listened to a 911 call where the victim’s throat was slit while on the call by our client. I will never forget her gurgling and sounding like she was dying (somehow she ultimately lived through this) saying, “He killed me, he killed me.” “

7. Manipulation

“I’ll go ahead and say it. When I practiced family law and criminal defense, I trusted and believed my criminal defense clients 100x more than my divorce/custody clients. The worst monsters are the people who manipulate minor children for custody reasons. F*ck them. Luckily I’m out of that area of law, hopefully for good.”

8. What a story

“Had a divorce client, husband and father, who disowned his autistic son, tried to argue that he should get all of his wife’s retirement having not worked for 12 years, contacted me during the height of hurricane Sandy (he was in the Bronx and me in Manhattan) saying he wanted to hold his wife in contempt for not paying him that day while the storm slammed NYC, told me I was making a huge mistake getting married (my wedding date was November 3rd, 4 days after Sandy) saying that I was going to be miserable and regret it…. I could go on.

But, the worst was when, several months later, since his divorce was taking a long time, he sent death threat letters to myself and my wife saying that he had hired an “executor” to kill the two of us if his divorce wasn’t finalized in 60 days. Called the police and they said he left his premises one day earlier.

I heard nothing from him until February 2014 when he emailed me saying he needed a winter coat from his wife and could I help get it for him. Ironically, the divorce didn’t have to be completed because he killed himself before the judge signed the judgment of divorce.”

9. Time to quit

“My mom is a lawyer. This is the story about how she quit being a public defender.

When you are a public defender you don’t get to choose your cases. She got assigned a young man who, with the help of his gifriend, had gotten a kitten from a “free to a good home” ad in the paper. They then brought it home and gave it to their dog as a chew toy. I think they also filmed it.

So yeah.

She said she needed a shower after every meeting with him. Canceled her PD contract after the case concluded.”

10. This is awful

“I’ve done a lot of prison legal aid, and I could tell stories about child molesters that would turn you green, but instead I’ll turn you green a different way.

I had a kid (17) who was mildly cognitively disabled, due to brain trauma he sustained at the hands of his birth parents, who ended up with a really wonderful foster care family and thrived.

He was a popular kid in school, good athlete, got a girlfriend and invited her to meet up and be teenagers one night in a corn silo – which I guess is a thing that country kids do? I don’t know, this all comes from the pre-sentence investigation report I read before taking his case, but this girl met him at the silo and they were hanging out inside.

By his account, they were having a nice time and he was really enjoying himself, then for no particular reason, he picked up a 2×4 and bashed her skull in. He then used a combination of very crude farm implements (shovels, hoes) to chop her body up and bury it in the corn and went home like nothing had happened.

Hey, you asked.”

11. Not happy

“I had a client who was accused of domestic violence. Essentially he threw his girlfriend out of a second story window. Now he’s got a terrible history but so do a lot of my clients and his attitude is a little entitled (also typical). But he also knows the deal and wants a plea deal.

So I’m not really prepared when he absolutely refuses the no jail offer from the state (keep in mind there were like 5 witnesses). Why? Because they wanted him to pay for her medical bills. Ok, an asshole but whatever not the worst.

What did it was his counteroffer.

“I ain’t paying that bitchs bills. Tell them I’ll pay for the window.”

Prosecutor was not happy.”

12. First week on the job

“The first week I started at my current criminal defense firm I was tasked with cataloging discovery from our client’s phone.

The phone had multiple (talking around 4,000) videos, photos, text exchanges with women under 16 (though not all of the girls’ ages were confirmed most, if not all, were under the legal age of consent and many were barely pubescent) naked and being prostituted over 1 year. He would lure these girls in exchange for drugs.

Nothing felt totally bizarre until I came across one video where he was clearly forcing himself upon a literal child who was so high on benzodiazepines (not willingly but rather forced) and choking her in the process. When our firm confronted him, he said he was in love with her and that’s why he did it.

He would also take these girls to hotels and make them have sex with one another while he taped, but nothing beat what I said above.

Pretty horrifying stuff for my first week on the job.”

13. Scary

“The first and last family law case was assigned to me as a first year associate. My client broke his wife’s jaw, and said if they were home in Russia he would have killed her because he could pay his way out of prison there.”

14. A laundry list

“Criminal defense lawyer. I can name a few instances where I was just absolutely disgusted with my client. Caveat, these are mostly years ago when I was taking just any old case. I most practice white collar and federal now.

I won a DUI case because the government messed up on something right before trial was to begin. My client gives me a hug and COMPLETELY reeks of alcohol. He has driven to court. I took his keys and called his mother.

Client who was accused of molesting a 12 year old. He was mid 40s at the time and I had to shut him down real quick when he tried to tell me how the 12 year old was coming on to him.

I represented a woman for a grand theft charge. Left her in my office to get some things copied before she left. After she left, I realized my sunglasses and car keys were stolen. I tracked her down in the lobby and told her I was not going to represent her anymore and I would call the police if she didn’t empty her pockets in front of me and give me my things

I had a client who was released after 25 years in prison for MURDER and then the SAME day he beats up his prospective new landlord. He ended up getting another 10 years. He was unrepentant and laughed about how he hit the guy so hard his eye ball popped out. I thought, ‘this guy deserves to be in prison.’ Took the case to trial anyway and (shocker) lost and he got 10 (the max).

Client who pretended to be a doctor so he could sell steroids. According to the Gov, he had numerous clients who were made to believe that his steroids would cure their cancer. They paid him hundreds of thousands of dollars and some of them died. I just thought that was pure evil.”

15. Uggghhh

“My first internship in law school was at a matrimonial law firm in a very wealthy area, think millionaires and billionaires getting divorced.

One of the first cases I worked on involved the parents of a victim of a high-profile school shooting. The parents were divorced and had been prior to the death of the child, and were now battling over who would get the victim’s compensation fund money and the funds they received from a fundraiser they set up themselves on a GoFundMe-type site!

These were incredibly wealthy people fighting over what was literal chump change to them and asking the public to donate to them as if they needed it. They were so clearly exploiting the death of their child for money and to piss off the other parent, it was honestly one of the most disturbing things I have encountered, ever..”

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12 Hilarious Tweets That Describe What Every True Crime Fan Knows

These tweets will make you say, “yes”, “that’s me”, “uh huh”, and “big mistake” over and over and over again.

Guaranteed.

12. We’re all experts, naturally…

11. Uh oh

10. Sleep isn’t THAT important. We’re more vulnerable to murder.

9. “If you love these, you’ll love me.”

8. $1 dollar per hour!

7. They are legit bad.

6. Well, what else would we do?!?

5. Hey, life happens when it happens…

4. #MurderFam

3. Never, ever, ever, ever…

2. Well, we’re not psychopaths!!

1. Yeah, it’s a thing…

Are those on point, or what?

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17 Memes That All True Crime Junkies Know Are True

Keep telling your friends that you’re simply doing research when you keep watching grisly true crime documentaries.

So if we watch a ton of TV about people who do get murdered, we will never get murdered. We’ll be able to look for all the signs that somebody is planning our imminent demise and foil them before they can set their diabolic machinations in motion…

Or something like that…

Enjoy the memes!

17. Jeffrey always knows what we want…

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

16. Same.

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

15. It’s not like we’re NOT junkies…

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

14. Business idea!

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

13. Kill that party conversation!

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

12. SVU = Sexiest Victims Unit…

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

11. That’s true. Don’t ask me how I know.

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

10. It’s a thing…

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

9. Correction… I never had any other plans in the first place.

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

8.You never know with these shows!

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

7. How could they do this to their child!?

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

6. Oh yes. I’m on the case now!

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

5. Number one life goal: never get murdered

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

4. Other me always wins…

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

3. Can’t the laundry fold itself?!

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

2. I’ve got at least 3 hours to sleep after that…

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

1. Ahhhh, sweet nightmares!

Photo Credit: Powerful Mind

My only advice for the rest of the night: don’t get murdered.

You’re welcome!

The post 17 Memes That All True Crime Junkies Know Are True appeared first on UberFacts.

In Japan in 1968, 4 bank employees…

In Japan in 1968, 4 bank employees were transporting 300M¥ in the trunk of a car. They were stopped by a young police officer, who claimed dynamite was on the car. When he crawled under to check and smoke came billowing out, they ran away. The “officer” then got in the car and drove away.

These Tweets About True Crime TV Make You Say, “Why Am I Like This?”

It’s a common thing among true crimes fans to think to themselves, “How did things get like this? Why am I so weird?”

I mean, there’s nothing inherently wrong with us. But we do have to question our motives when all we want to do is watch horrible, awful shit happen to other people during ANY media we consume. Television, books, podcasts… it doesn’t matter. It’s only entertaining if somebody is getting murdered.

So yeah, that’s fun! Enjoy these tweets, especially if you’re as obsessed with true crime as we are!

1. The struggle is real… and it’s right behind that door!!!

2. Chrissy knows what’s up…

3. “I am the best friend you’ll ever have!”

4. You goddamn dummies!

5. The story of my life…

6. Just lets the soap drip down into my eyes…

7. Literally the title of this post! Why?!?!

8. Those weird girls tho…

9. Poop McScoop, Detective

10. Rhyme time!

Wait! What’s behind you!

Gotcha…

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10+ “Genuises” Who Forged Documents and Didn’t Think They’d Get Caught

Before I start tearing all these forgers a new one, ask yourself a question: when is the last time somebody compared the signature on your credit card with the signature you signed?

Probably can’t remember, can you? True story… I’ve literally just written a big, fat “X” down in the signature field and people have accepted it, no questions asked. Of course, it was my credit card, but nobody asked me for my ID.

So we definitely live in a world, where people just take documents at face value. No questions asked. But our signatures are supposed to be our bond. How can we get back to that?

The following 12 people know this all too well, and most were successful in their deceit.

1. Just a minor violation…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Okay, that is seriously fucked up.

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Caught!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Caught again!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Damn.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. You’re probably just hurting yourself, but whatevs…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. How would diabetes disqualify you from a job? Seems shaky…

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Nailed it.

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. How would they ever check this anyway?

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Well, that didn’t work out as planned…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Ivy league scammers, your day will come…

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. “Many a signature” almost sounds charming. Almost.

Photo Credit: Whisper

Forgery is a legit crime, and if you’re caught you can get some serious prison time.

Basically, don’t try and get away with doing stuff like this. Because it’s more likely than not that you’ll get caught.

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20+ Security Guards Reveal the Weirdest Things They’ve Caught on Camera

Being a security guard can be kind of a dull job (depending on where you’re working, I suppose). The one thing that livens up the day is seeing all the weird things people do when they aren’t thinking about the fact that they’re in range of a CCTV camera.

Oh yeah, they’ve seen some shit.

“Watched a woman jump off a nearby highway…”

Good God, where do I even start? Been a surveillance operator for 5 years at a casino. Let’s just make a list:

Guy whipping his thing out while going up escalators, leaving a trail off urine. He was sober.

Man, super toasted, thought he saw his ex-wife’s car. Proceeded to stand on and stomp in the hood, then pass out on the windshield.

Saw one cop miss with a taser and tase another officer.

Watched a woman attempt to walk up a down escalator for eight minutes straight without moving. She eventually passed out.

Watched a woman jump off a nearby highway, land, and walk off like nothing happened.

Caught a guy (more than once) using his mobile phone camera to not-so-discreetly take upskirt shots of women standing next to him.

Caught a cashier stealing money. By pretending to sneeze, use the bill as a tissue, then shove the bill down his shirt.

Barfight. Two groups going at it. Random girl not part of the brawl grabs a bottle off the bar and tomahawk chucks it at the melee. Thankfully she somehow missed everyone.

Watched a man jump off the roof. Hit the ground and bounced about three feet. Only suicide I’ve ever seen.

There’s probably a lot more I could come up with. After you’ve seen hundreds of attempted cheats, a few people fall over dead, and a guy bounce after falling 12 stories, everything just becomes kind of mundane.

“…She gets EJECTED out of her seat.”

Worked IT for a company. One day, a lot of the head managers of this certain department come barging into my office demanding I pull some footage, serious.

I think somebody is about to get fired so I start scrubbing through footage. Finally, I get to what they want me to see. One of their team leads is rocketing through the office on an office chair when it gets stuck on something in the carpet and she gets EJECTED out of her seat.

She must have landed like 10 feet from her chair. As soon as the scene happens, the group of managers busts out laughing their butts off. I nearly peed my pants laughing, I had never been asked to pull camera footage of something so funny.

The best part is the girl just laid on the carpet while everybody around her in the room collapsed with laughter.

“Immediately my soul crushes…”

One time at work I went to the Starbucks down the street and got a delicious panini. I was so excited for this panini. Double smoked bacon and chicken.

Delish. I was working the closing shift so I was tired and just wanted to eat my panini. I pulled the little paper bag out and what I assume was the heat from the food had melted the adhesive holding the bag together and my delicious panini is now all over the break room floor.

Immediately my soul crushes, then right afterward, I’m like ‘forget this!’ and picked it right back up and ate it. It was delicious.

A few weeks later my coworkers are chatting away and whatever, one of them offhandedly mentions that our GM watches all the security cam footage on the days she isn’t at work.

She wasn’t at work that day my panini exploded everywhere.

She probably saw me eating that sandwich off the ground like a savage, so to answer the question at hand, that.

“He wasn’t there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having relations…”

I’m the security supervisor overnight at a food dye processing plant. I sit in a guard shack and watch upwards of 20 camera feeds at a time. One night, one of my officers, who is posted up at the other side of the facility, walks away from his shack and goes to an area behind one of the buildings, out of the way.

He apparently thought there weren’t any cameras watching that particular area because he wasn’t there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having relations, right there.

When they were done, she left and he went right back to his post. He had no idea I saw the whole thing. I didn’t talk to him about it, but I called my operations manager over in the office the next morning and told him about it.

The officer wasn’t fired. He was transferred, however. Bull, in my opinion. When an officer can be fired for being late, they should be fired for abandoning their post to meet with a lady of the night.

“The guy just took his hand out of his pocket, grabbed the goose by the neck, snapped it…”

Used to work security for a mall back in Kansas City, that city was chalk full of geese when it wasn’t winter. One day one of the store clerks called me up and told me to get animal control to dispose of a dead goose in our parking lot.

I went to the front to check it out and sure enough, there was a dead goose lying in the middle of the parking lot. Called animal control and they had it removed from the premises. Out of curiosity, I went into the back and started viewing the cameras for the parking lot thinking the goose may have just died of sickness or somebody accidentally ran him over with their car.

Nope.

Apparently, this particular goose wandered onto the parking lot and started terrorizing anyone that got near him. If you’ve encountered a goose before, you would know how much a mean bird those things are.

Everybody that came out of the store basically had to walk around the goose to get to their car, except for one guy. This dude, wearing a striped sweater and khakis, holding a bag in one hand and his other hand in his pocket started walking straight to his car.

He literally didn’t care at all that the goose was flapping his wings and honking at him, telling him to run off. The guy was about 4 feet from the goose when the goose started charging him trying to mess him up.

The guy just took his hand out of his pocket, grabbed the goose by the neck, snapped it, dropped the body in the middle of the parking lot and proceeded to get into his car and drive off.

I don’t know why, but the way he just nonchalantly snapped a goose’s neck with his bare hand and left its body for dead sent a chill down my spine.

“5 min later she would come out adjusting her skirt…”

I worked I.T. at a company that had cameras on the shop floor. The boss called me in to watch a video and get my opinion on what I thought was going on.

So the night shift had one lady working and 6 guys. When things slowed down in the middle of the night she would walk over to one of the guys, whisper in his ear, and they would both go into the girl’s bathroom together.

5 min later she would come out adjusting her skirt and the guy would follow with a huge smile on his face. Over several hours she did this with each of the 6 guys and it appeared it was a regular thing.

I said it looked like she was sleeping with everyone in the place. Well, the boss fired her for the possibility that it would lead to a harassment lawsuit.

Later I found out what was really going on. Seems she was the local weed dealer and hid her stash in her panties.

“I ask the store manager why he didn’t fire him…”

I used to work in loss prevention at a very large retail store. I had been finding wrappers and discarded packages in a place called the fixture room.

This is where they keep all the peg hooks, shelves, and racks to display products. Not many people go in there so I put up a hidden camera thinking I would catch someone stealing stuff.

Around 1:00 am a guy walks in, pulls his pants down and rubs one out all over a shelf leaning against the wall.

I show the video to the store manager and he said that the guy was his 3rd shift supervisor.

As he watches the video he starts getting mad… at me for showing it to him! I take it to my boss and he tells the store manager to fire the guy. Two weeks later I come in early one morning to see the guy clocking out.

I ask the store manager why he didn’t fire him and he said, ‘I talked to him about it and he explained what happened.’ I said, ‘Ok I gotta hear this one!’

The manager explained, ‘He had been drinking and smoking weed before he came to work and was just out of his mind. So he’s not a pervert or anything.’

The manager then told me that as punishment the guy had to clean everything in the fixture room, on his own time (unpaid) and had to submit to 4 random screenings the next year (which never happened because the manager is a cheapo).

The guy got promoted to assistant manager a year later!

“He even had a sheath on his belt and everything.”

I was staying overnight at my hotel security job in downtown San Diego one night and noticed that a homeless man had something shiny in his hands but I couldn’t determine what exactly it was just by looking at the cameras.

So I dispatched a security guard to investigate and it turns out that this guy was carrying a machete. Not a large knife. An actual life-size machete.

He even had a sheath on his belt and everything. I told my guy to keep his distance and I called the local police.

Minutes later the police show up and I got to see them in action.

They kept yelling at him to drop his machete but he was on a different planet and wasn’t hearing a word they were trying to say to him. When they finally had enough, the cop with the launcher shot him with a beanbag round and leveled him to the ground.

He dropped his machete and another cop came in and punted it away from his reach. They pinned him down and arrested him. It was awesome to watch.

“He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box…”

I didn’t catch him in the act, but I watched a guy steal my pizza.

I was working the night shift on a Friday night and ordered pizza for my lunch. I had leftovers which I put in the staff-room fridge so I could have it for lunch the next day.

Saturday evening I come into work, I work until lunchtime, then go to grab my pizza only to discover that it is gone.

Like what!? So I check the camera feed. During the day some random guy came into our office, went to the staff-room, and stole my pizza. He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box and the day shift guy didn’t even notice. No questions just walked in and never heard from again.

I am not sure how someone could have that level of confidence.

“This didn’t stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day…”

I work in IT, had to splice a video from our CCTV into our CEO’s end of year presentation.

The company had refurbished the car park, which used to have an all-access footpath running through it.

There was no legal right of way there, so they got rid of the footpath and put up signs saying it was private property.

This didn’t stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day, and regularly damaged parked cars with her bike when she squeezed through narrow gaps.

The alternative route was literally 50 yards out of her way to go around the car park rather than through it.

So, bigger signs go up. This is PRIVATE LAND, NO ACCESS etc.

As part of that, they install an automatic barrier. To get into or out of the car park, you have to keep your company ID badge on a sensor, the barrier raises, and you can drive through.

Cyclist lady just ignores everything.

Cycles up to the new barrier, and WHAM, her bike goes under it, and she doesn’t. She gets up, walks up to her bike and cycles off again, up the road.

The next day, they’re investigating damage to the barrier, and have a look at the CCTV.

They can’t believe she hasn’t seen the bright red and white barrier. While they’re reviewing the CCTV, she comes in again from the other direction, and WHAM.

Exactly the same thing happens again.

They run out to check if she’s OK. She refuses all help and runs away with her bike. She knows she’s not supposed to be going through here and has now made the same mistake twice.

She now goes around the car park instead of through it.

“I saw two suicide attempts, one successful.”

Worked casino surveillance for several years – so I have a lot of stories. Saw a guy receive a BJ at a roulette table, saw a couple get it on in a crowded bar.

I saw a guy get stabbed, and saw two people get hit by speeding cars. I saw a lot of people vomit, saw a lot of people pee – especially in the elevators.

Saw a guy who was drinking trip on an escalator, catching himself on the side, then slide down a 50-foot moving rail, spinning the whole time, then land on his feet without spilling his drink.

I watched people cheat at blackjack and various carnival games. I saw two suicide attempts, one successful. I saw a casino cashier stuff two hundred dollar bills in his sock.

He was arrested. I saw a waitress twerking upside down in the well, she slipped and landed face first on the tile and was unconscious for about 20 seconds.

I saw a kitchen worker slice her hand while cutting lemons – blood everywhere. She wrapped it in a towel and continued cutting the lemons with the same knife.

She put the finished lemons in the fridge then went for medical attention. I saw a brawl in the craps pit that ended with a mostly naked woman riding piggy-back on the cop that tried to break up the fight.

She was arrested and the rest of the brawlers escaped to the parking garage where the fight continued. Last I saw, another semi-naked woman was hanging on to the hood of a car as it drove away, slamming her shoe on the windshield.

That was a fun job.

“Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool.”

Saw a guy once get out of our pool, he dries off and is carrying his pool noodle. He does the look around, sees he’s alone, then starts smacking it against the floor.

He folded it in half and then starts punching it. He then twists it and tries to punt it. It untwists and flops to the ground so he missed. He goes to pick it up, doesn’t get a good grip, stands up and it’s not in his hand.

Picks it up, tries to punt it again, flops to the floor as he missed again. Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool.

He stands there for a second, has a look of defeat, goes back into the pool, fishes it out, dries off and proceeds towards the locker room.

“…Then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants…”

I worked in a supermarket, not as security, but one day stocking shelves my manager and I noticed a strange smell, we couldn’t find the source so we kept working.

A couple of hours later and it was still hanging around, eventually we emptied the last trolley of stock which had been sitting in an aisle for a while (small supermarket) and we found a blob of human poop on a box of cat food, and then two or three more on the shelves next to the trolley.

We checked the cameras and there was this seemingly normal 50 something year old lady, walked in, put a few things in her basket, then started walking / waddling oddly down the pet food aisle and then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants, pulled some poop out, chucked it on the stock trolley, walked another few paces and did the same then from memory she even proceeded through the checkout and out of the store.

The manager asked me to clean it up to which I offered my immediate resignation (as a joke, he was my mate but there was no way I was dealing with that) so he had to clean it up and we ended up throwing out a lot of stock and most of the fruit and veg stock.

I’ve told so many people this story, I still find it so bizarre to this day.

“Bathing in the sink.”

I worked as an assistant manager at a grocery retailer. The store was closing and there were a few employees left. I’m finishing paperwork and happen to look up at the monitor displaying 16 different cameras.

The one in the deli caught my eye because I happened to notice the deli employee filling a sink.

Didn’t think anything of it and kept on going with my work. Looked at the time and was thinking, okay everyone should be out. Look through the cameras and see the girl in the deli…

Bathing in the sink.

The dread comes over me. What… What do I do…

I wait until she’s done, burn the video, sterilize the sink, bleach the sink, pour boiling water over the sink, and scrub it until my hands hurt, then leave the store in night crews hands.

Next morning, speak with the store manager and show him the video.

Pull the girl upstairs and let her go for violating all sorts of health and safety violations.

Turns out, her water was turned off and she needed to bathe for her date…

With her parole officer the next morning.

Things people do when they think others aren’t watching.

“When I came around the corner, there was a girl completely naked…”

I was working the desk at a gym in a large sports facility that was connected to a high school. There is one section that shows a hallway known as ‘Trojan alley’ because of all the high school kids who went around a corner and had relations.

One day I see a foot kinda sticking out from around the corner kind of twitching. I thought a member of the facility had fallen or had a seizure or something.

So I grabbed a first aid kit and ran over. When I came around the corner, there was a girl completely naked with her laptop open and filming herself messing around alone.

She slammed the laptop shut, grabbed her clothes and stood up very embarrassed. I was equally embarrassed. Neither of us said anything. I just turned around and went back to my desk and I’m assuming she left.

I feel bad because that must have been so scarring yet I legitimately thought there was a medical emergency so I was very thrown off as well.

“… In the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go.”

I worked in IT for a resort that had an ice rink. Two guests decided to bone in the middle of said rink at like 1 in the morning. Thing is, those cameras are motion detecting because it’s dangerous.

Security office immediately gets an alarm if they detect anything. So Security had to go up there while they were mid-act and ask them to not… Unfortunately, their situation had placed them in the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go.

Security had to watch as they carefully and awkwardly put their clothes back on and removed themselves from the rink.

“… He leaned the cane against the rail and started to practice…”

A middle-aged man who always walked with a cane got into an elevator at the end of the day. Fairly big elevators. The guy was always nice but pretty unseemly.

After he got in the elevator, however, he leaned the cane against the rail and started to practice what looked like (and I later checked with a friend) a taekwondo form.

When he heard the elevator ding at a floor to stop, he grabbed the cane, went back to his demeanor and walked out.

I found out later that the guy worked in a dangerous profession and makes himself seem weak.

I’d be terrified to mess with that guy.

“… What took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8 AM…”

My old job was on a busy boulevard with an alley in the back. We had an open garage with access to said alley.

We used to often catch people doing weird acts, doing/selling stimulants, guys urinating, even saw one couple take turns relieving themselves beside our AC unit…

But what took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8 AM a man was walking by through the alley, stops suddenly, goes into our garage, lights a candle, and sets it there by the wall and walks away.

It was so odd getting there and seeing a randomly lit candle. Checking the footage only left us with more questions.

“In this video, a guy takes his streetwalker…”

I hang out with our security guard a lot and spend time in their office at our hotel messing with them. There’s footage saved that they show to our new hire guards to see if they can handle things professionally.

In this video, a guy takes his streetwalker (a $100 an hour one, super dirty and cheap) and takes her into an alley by a function room where we had a camera.

They get to it, and he straight away pulls down her pants and starts to eat her butt. This goes on for five minutes or so until you see the door open behind them, and our HUGE Polynesian guard standing behind the guy.

The lady runs off laughing instantly, leaving her poor client to put on his pants and clean up by himself

“Sure enough around 3:30 am I noticed some movement by one of the fences.”

I worked at a car dismantler and people would break in and steal catalytic converters, radiators, and other valuables.

I noticed a pattern of break-ins on Wednesday mornings around 4 am.

So, one day I decided to catch the perp. I locked myself into the office around midnight, called up the local PD and explained to them what I was doing.

Sure enough around 3:30 am I noticed some movement by one of the fences.

I watched him cut a hole in the fence and start to wander around. He started to stash things by the hole. I called the cops and told them what was going on, but asked them to hold off on arresting him until he was outside the fence.

I watched as five cars pulled up in the parking lot next door. The perp pushed the stuff through the fence and I told the dispatcher OK, now get him!

They caught him and arrested him.

The reason I wanted to wait till he was outside is that it was then burglary and trespassing. If they had arrested him inside it would only be trespassing because he hadn’t left the premises with the parts.

I later got a letter of commendation from the chief of police.

“The owner just screams NOT THOSE TWO AGAIN!”

Not me, but a story from somebody who helped set up remote logins for a security company.

He was on a remote session with this one local bar. Typically normal but he wanted this whole suite of cameras, a lot more than what he thought was normal.

Going through the entire process of setting up the equipment, testing the DVR and having the owner walk through every cam. Now on the phone going over some information and the final checks my friend notices some people slip in through the back.

Since it is the middle of the day just as the bar is about to open he assumes they are employees. Then these two guys just start going at it. Shell-shocked at the brazenness of it he just kinda stares for about 30 seconds.

Now the owner notices my friend isn’t responding and asks what is wrong. He finally tells him ‘uhh there are two guys in the first floor back hallway…ugh just having relations.’

The owner just screams ‘NOT THOSE TWO AGAIN’ and bolted from his office. My friend watches the owner run full sprint from his office through the bar towards the back hallway.

They must have heard him as they start pulling up their pants. Just as he arrives they bolt out the door and he chucks his phone at them full force.

Of course, now the owner has just destroyed his phone and cut the call.

“We put grease there.”

I worked at a thrift store. We had a furniture storage semi-trailer out back where people would also drop off donations during the day. It was so common for people to break into the trailer we just stopped locking it.

It’s a thrift store and we never prosecuted because frankly it just wasn’t worth it. One day me and a couple of guys decided if they want to violate our property we’ll make it a bit more enjoyable for them.

We rigged up a bucket of water on top of the semi-door and tied it so it would fall when the door was opened. Then we also had a big dumpster there that was regularly looked through so we put a couch up against the dumpster positioned in a way that there was only one obvious place to put your hands when you climbed up the dumpster.

We put grease there.

For us working at the thrift store and never getting revenge on the countless thieves it was an enjoyable experience to watch their plans fall apart for at least one night.

“I caught the door slowly opening by itself!”

I worked security at a large hotel chain. Part of my job was to keep track of storage room visits, by kitchen staff and other employees. There was a camera watching the big metal door of the storage room.

One day as I returned to my office I noticed the storage room door was open, which was odd because only I had keys for it and I hadn’t opened it that day.

I checked the camera and on film I caught the door slowly opening by itself! No one was there and no way the wind could unlock a heavy metal door. Showed my boss and he told me not to mention it.

Although word got out and some of the more superstitious employees avoided the storage room. There had been 2 suicides that previous year, some said it was related to them.

Whoa. Just whoa.

I never want to be a security guard ever.

Never ever.

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5 of the Most Infamous Murders in Mob History

There’s something about high-profile mob hits that’s almost thrilling to the general public. On March 13, 2019, Francesco “Franky Boy” Cali, the 53-year-old leader of the Gambino crime family was shot and killed in Staten Island, New York, in front of his home.

It was a stark reminder that although the heydays of mob hits may be behind us, these kinds of “hits” can (and do) still happen.

In light of recent events, we thought we’d bring you a list of 5 of the most famous mob murders in history.

1. Carmine Galante – 1979

Photo Credit: Public Domain

Galante was known to have a psychopathic personality and led the Bonnano crime organization, one of the Five Families. The heads of New York’s other families were not happy with the way Galante conducted business and they finally decided he had to go.

On July 12, 1979, Galante was gunned down as he ate lunch on the patio of an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn. A photo of the gruesome crime scene showed Galante dead on the ground with his ever-present cigar dangling from his mouth.

2. Paul Castellano – 1985

Photo Credit: Public Domain

70-year-old Castellano was the head of the Gambino crime family and his 1985 assassination outside a steak house in Manhattan signaled the rise of John Gotti, who organized the hit.

Many in the family were unhappy with the way Castellano ran the organization, so it was determined that he had to be taken out.

3. Albert Anastasia – 1957

Photo Credit: Public Domain

Anastasia was one of the founding fathers of the American Mafia, and he also was the head of Murder, Inc., a ruthless gang of hired killers. He was the head of what became the Gambino crime family.

On the day of his death, Anastasia sat in his barber’s chair in Manhattan for a shave and a haircut and was shot down by two masked gunmen.

4. Bugsy Siegel – 1947

Photo Credit: Public Domain

Siegel learned his trade on the mean streets of New York but later headed West to handle mob business in Las Vegas and California. Siegel was one of the original financiers of the casinos in Las Vegas.

Siegel promised his mob boss associates that their investments in Las Vegas would pay off, but the opening of the Flamingo Hotel was a flop and the writing was on the wall for Bugsy.

On June 20, 1947, Siegel was shot and killed through a window of his girlfriend’s house in Beverly Hills, California as he sat on her couch. The identity of the shooter or shooters has never been confirmed.

5. The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre – 1929

Photo Credit: Public Domain

This was probably the most famous mob hit of all time – on February 14, 1929, seven members of Bugs Moran’s North Side gang were gunned down in a garage in Chicago.

The man behind the deadly affair: none other than the legendary Al Capone, whose gangs had fought against Moran and other enemies for years to control of the Windy City’s booze trade.

The men who carried out the vicious hit were dressed as police officers, which allowed them to line the seven victims up against a wall, where they blindsided them with machine gun fire.

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