Month: January 2020

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Funny Jokes About the Olive Garden

Chain restaurants get made fun of all the time, but you know what? I like the Olive Garden. And I’m going on the record here and now to tell the world.

Butttttt it’s also to make fun of the OG – and other chain restaurants, too – because they are kind of ridiculous.

Let’s have a whole lot of free salad and breadsticks and get to the jokes!

1. Please never stop.

2. Hey! Low blow.

3. Not a big fan.

4. Wait…am I in Italy?

5. Now an Italian citizen.

6. I’d like to see this happen.

7. Fight the power.

8. Very deep thoughts.

9. A hot first date.

10. We must feed the baby.

11. So that’s where it goes…

12. I didn’t say “when”.

13. Start taking care of yourself.

14. You will live forever, sir.

15. This is a serious issue.

Now I’m full…of laughter!

What are your thoughts on the Olive Garden and other chain restaurants?

Tell us all about it in the comments, please!

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Wow! Astronomers Watched a Star Skip the Supernova Stage and Go Straight to Black Hole.

When people say “go out with a bang”, they usually don’t mean literally. But when it comes to dying stars, typically astronomers expect them to go out with enormous bangs: supernovae. However, recently a group of Ohio University scientists observed a star that didn’t have quite the same life path in mind.

Instead of exploding and then collapsing in on itself, the star turned directly into a black hole. That shocked the group of scientists who had been studying the star, named N6946-BH1 to be exact, which was located in the Fireworks Galaxy, 22 million light-years away. At first they didn’t think it was possible, yet in 2015, after six years of watching the star weaken, scientists concluded that the star had bizarrely skipped the supernova stage.

They chalked it up as a “massive fail.” That’s a technical term, referring to the star’s mass.

“The typical view is that a star can form a black hole only after it goes supernova,” said Ohio State astronomy professor and study researcher Christopher Kochanek. “If a star can fall short of a supernova and still make a black hole, that would help explain why we don’t see supernovae from the most massive stars.”

Photo Credit: Pexels

This atypical event still requires more analysis, but scientist Scott Adams estimates that massive fails occur in about 10 to 30 percent of massive stars. Ultimately, this discovery could lead to more answers about how super-massive black holes come to exist, since supernovae tend to blow away a lot of a star’s mass.

Without a supernova, more of a star’s mass would stick around to collapse in on itself and become a vortex that bends time and space and eats light for supper.

The post Wow! Astronomers Watched a Star Skip the Supernova Stage and Go Straight to Black Hole. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Learn About the Most (In)Famous Failed Scientific Experiment in History

Scientists usually assume that if they ever get famous it will be for doing something right – but in the case of the Michelson-Morley experiment, those involved are forever going to be remembered for conducting the worst (best?) failed experiment in history.

Then again, if you end up changing literally everything in your field, was your experiment really a failure at all?

Here’s what happened.

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#WePost @4biddenknowledge ⚛👁 ・・・ The #DoubleSlitExperiment is an experiment in #QuantumPhysics in which the effects were shown by #ThomasYoung way back in 1803, but since has been proven even more strange by many others. It's power truly reveals a mind-altering view of the world and how we affect it. To explain this experiment, we first must truly grasp the difference between a  #particle and a #wave. A particle is what we perceive as #matter of some sort – something with mass. A wave is a disturbance in some type of substance – like ripples through water. Ok, that's easy enough. Now, what if I told you that a subatomic particle isn't a particle until a consciousness observes it. What is it then? Its a wave. Huh? For some unknown reason that haunts scientists, everything we perceive as having mass is just a wave of information (or possibilities) until we observe it in some way. I'm not talking in the philosophical way like if a tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound. The Double Slit Experiment seems to answer that question as you'll see. Until we observe the soon to be particle, its a wave that's actually doing every possibility it could do at the same time. Huh?!?! It doesn't make any sense, yet this is one experiment that appears to somewhat prove this. The Double Slit Experiment shows us that we create reality just by observing it. WHOA, create reality?! Yes we do. Your consciousness collapses wave functions into digitized bits of matter that we then perceive as reality. You are not creating reality, but you are creating your own #RealityTunnel and most people aren't aware of it. #4biddenknowledge reporting live from #TheMatrix. Clip above of from the famous documentary named: #WhatTheBleepDoWeKnow #YouCreateYourOwnReality 🙏🏾⚛👁

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At the beginning of the 19th century, scientists weren’t sure whether light was a wave or a particle. In 1801, Thomas Young (thought he) settled the debate with his double-slit experiment, in which he shined a light through two slits cut into a notecard aimed at a wall. Since he produced a pattern of dark and light bars as opposed to just two slit-shaped patterns, he concluded that light could not be a simple particle.

That said, no one could figure out what medium the wave was traveling through – the substance that made up the universe. Some physicists called it “ether” – matter that could be found everywhere but that wouldn’t interact with its physical counterpart at all.

In 1887, physicists Albert Michelson and Edward Morley set out to prove that “ether” only existed to carry light waves.

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In the late nineteenth century when Jules Verne was a success with his novel From the earth to the moon they appeared two geniuses that would change the way we see the universe with one of the most brilliant physics experiments the Michelson-Morley experiment revealing one of the most paradoxical mysteries of light, at the end Albert Einstein raise his famous theory based on the results of this experiment taking almost all the credit and collapsed 200 years of domination by Newton, establishing the boundary between classical physics and modern physics . That's why I consider one of the turning points in the history of science of humanity.#michelsonandmorley #physics #universe #astronomy #geniuses #xix #light #math #brilliantminds

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Let’s start here – with ether “wind.”

Just like when you’re driving a car and stick your hand out the window, the “ether” should be flowing over the planet’s surface at rate similar to the speed of Earth traveling through space.

Michelson and Morley built a device called an interferometer, which uses what amounts to a one-way mirror to split a beam of light, reflecting half of it at a 90-degree angle down one tunnel and allowing the other half to pass through down another tunnel.

Then, both light beams are reflected against mirrors again, placed at the end of each tunnel, and at the end, the beams are measured by a detector.

Fun fact: advanced versions of their devices were used to detect gravitational waves for the first time back in 2015.

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Researchers are preparing to scrutinize nature at tiny scales by stretching supercooled atoms into room-length waves as they drop them down a 100-meter vacuum tube. By exploiting the atoms' wavelike properties, the experiment will look for ripples in the bizarre quantum realm: potential fingerprints of missing dark matter and, in future iterations, new frequencies of gravitational waves. Collaborators from eight institutions have come together to turn an Illinois mine shaft into the world's largest atom interferometer—the Matter-wave Atomic Gradiometer Interferometric Sensor, or MAGIS-100. Read more: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/new-instrument-will-stretch-atoms-into-giant-waves/ #VacuumVolume #MAGIS #MAGIS100 #vacuumchamber #vacuumtube #vacuumtech #vacuumscience #vacuumtechnology #interferometer #atomic #atomicresearch #supercooledatoms #atoms #quantumrealm #quantumphysics #quantummechanics #submicroscopic #strontium #darkmatter #gravitationalwaves

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If Michelson and Morley were correct about ether, then they would have traveled at slightly different rates, striking the detector at slightly different times. In reality, though, they arrived together.

With the benefit of hindsight, we know that the experiment failed because there is no ether – and that light is both a wave and a particle that always travels at the same speed no matter the direction.

In their failure, Michelson and Morley laid the groundwork for basically all of the 20th century’s most influential scientific thinkers. Their failure to detect ether presented a new and exciting problem for physicists and other scientists to tackle – and solve – in the years to come.

So the next time something doesn’t work out the way you thought, take heart – this is solid proof that we can always learn at least as much from our failures as our successes.

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Check Out the World’s Surprising Variety of Weird and Wonderful Apples

Most of us have eaten the typical apples, such as Granny Smith. If we’re lucky, we may have also had a few other types of apples as well –Honeycrisp has had a major moment the past few years – but most of us have probably not tried as many kinds as writer William Mullan.

That’s because Mullen is researching as many types of apples as he can get his hands on, and getting photographs of them.

He spoke with Atlas Obscura about his fascination with apples, which began when he was a teenager growing up in the UK and grew into a full-blow obsession when he was forced into a dietary change for health reasons. Now he satisfies his sweet-tooth on apples.

So what’s the big deal? We checked out Mullan’s Instagram, and he’s really onto something.

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Thornberry! Tiny cotton candy bubble gum sweetheart created by Northern California heartbreaker hottie fruit breeder Albert Etter. Etter was particularly taken with the rose-pink European apple called “Surprise”, creating more 30 seedlings on his orchard back in the 1920s, in what is now called Ettersberg in Humboldt County, California. “Surprise” was mostly dismissed by fruit growers; it tended to be sour and was considered a novelty. But Etter saw potential, eventually selling his Pink Pearl to the California Nursery Company in the 1940s. Etter passed away 10 years later, in 1950, leaving his experimental orchard largely abandoned. In the 1970s, the Fishman family began evaluating the surviving apple trees, both on the site itself and on nearby orchards, eventually locating fifteen of Etter’s “Surprise” seedlings, including Thornberry, which they discovered in another abandoned orchard about a mile outside of the town called Whitethorn (which is about 10 miles south of Ettersburg). – Thornberry exhibits traits typical of the Etter “Surprise” seedlings. Most pronounced among those is a distinct “berry” aromatic flavor, which can likely be linked to the anthocyanin compound that makes the flesh pink. It’s almost like a dwarf-sized Pink Pearl, sharing the same translucent skin, bubble-gum pink flesh, and a spry, lively tartness of that aforementioned favorite. That said, I found this Thornberry, kindly sent to me by Chad Frick of @vulture_hill, to be much sweeter than Pearl. It reminds me of all my childhood candy shop fantasies condensed into one little apple. Like those memories, my first and only sample of it has been canonized in my brain.

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In addition to taking beautiful photographs of apples from all over the world, Mullan delves deeply into the apples’ histories, discussing how they’re grown, bred, and what they taste like. His descriptions of apples are gorgeously detailed, and he’s sold books and prints of his images.

Mullan also went into detail about how and why only certain apples make it to consumers’ hands at grocery stores. Big agriculture and market demands are the main reasons.

Some apples truly have their own personalities.

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Rubaiyat! Pinot noir speckled juice rock with splashy strawberry watermelon flesh. Rubaiyat (also known as CV. Etter 8-11) is another ultra-rare Albert Etter (maker of Pink Pearl) red flesh breed that has been trademarked by Greenmantle Nursery, who took over his property. It’s one of many red flesh cultivars Etter made while he was alive, including the previously featured Grenadine and Pink Pearl. It’s aroma and flavor reminds of Ribena, for all you UK folk out there; for all those who haven’t experienced Ribena, think juice box berry (although Ribena comes in plastic). You’re not likely to come across Rubaiyat at a market (Greenmantle forbids growers from selling it), but if you’re lucky, you might meet a friendly orchardist who has it. It’s a shame, because Rubaiyat is delicious and has seemingly good keeping qualities. Side note: Young Albert Etter was hot. Google him. A beautiful man who made beautiful fruit. I got this Rubaiyat courtesy of the nice folks at @redbrydcider 🙏

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Other apples are works of art that stand on their own.

Farmers have avoided certain types of apples because they are more likely to pick up diseases, they come from trees that naturally produce fewer apples, or they have fragile skin.

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Hi! Can you see this trio of fantastic galactic Black Oxford apples? Are you excited for Pomme SZN? Word is that some posts aren’t showing up on the feed. If you would like to see more #PommeCon, plz comment below and the algorithm will love me. A lot of nice folks have DM’ed me for prints and I will be releasing those on IG in the late summer, so if you want to be notified, like, tap, comment, etc etc etc 🙃🙏❤🍎. – On these Maleficent orbs… Black Oxford apples are little soft tannin bombs wrapped in a haunting chic purple-black plum coat. They yield sweet corn and vanilla with time. The Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle of Apples (post tragic-transformation scene). They’re also known as July Apples because word is they can be kept till July! A Maine native and a favorite of mine. I got very lucky with these very black ones from @scottfarmvt last szn; usually they’re more purple.

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Mullan’s interest has garnered him a steady following. Thanks to his research and photographic work, we get to be exposed to beautiful varieties of apples from all over the world. Click here to check out more of his photographs.

What do you think of Mullan’s work and efforts to introduce the world to more apples? Feel free to comment below so we can read your opinion!

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Pictures of Newly-Adopted Pets Should Put a Smile on Your Face

It’s hard to think of anything more rewarding than the look of relief and satisfaction on an animal’s face after it is adopted.

And these adorable animals are no exception.

Let’s take a look at these heartwarming photos.

1. Hi, Pumpkin!

Adopted a rescue cat today. Meet Pumpkin from cats

2. Welcome home!

Me: "We don’t have room for any more dogs" Sister: *sends this pic from the shelter* Me: "Ok maybe one more dog" Everyone say hi to Gemma from aww

3. Falling in love.

We adopted an 11-year old cat from a Chicago shelter. He and my 13-yo daughter fell in love. This is them after she got back from a week at camp. from aww

4. He looks relieved.

This is my rescue dog at the vet right after being freed from the puppy mill from aww

5. You might’ve been wrong…

First time cat owner. I used to think I was a dog person, but I think I may have been wrong. from cats

6. Live long and prosper.

Adopted this handsome good boy yesterday! Reddit, meet Spock! from aww

7. No more of that.

After months of living in the streets and being bullied by other cats, I rescued Masha. She is now a happy indoors cat. from cats

8. Love the name.

Neighbors abandoned him when they moved, he’s now my best friend. Say hi to Mister Meow. from cats

9. Destroy all the basketballs you want.

Surrendered for adoption 5 times because of too much energy, I present Kadie: Destroyer of Basketballs. from aww

10. New year. New best friend.

Our new years eve was spent getting this cutie. 2020, meet Baker! from cats

Are those photos wholesome, or what?

I know they put a big smile on this guy’s face.

Do you have any pics of your adopted furry friends? Share them with us in the comments! We’d love to meet them!

The post Pictures of Newly-Adopted Pets Should Put a Smile on Your Face appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny, Random Memes That Should Make You LOL

Memes are usually humorous, but they don’t all make you actually laugh out loud. Most of the time you might smile, nod, snort, giggle, or chuckle – but some really do make you lol, if just for a hot second.

We’re hoping these 12 memes are working hard enough to earn the real deal!

12. It’s the only logical explanation.

11. Her feet get cold, okay?

10. I’m just bleeding from my ears it’s fine.

9. I have obviously been listening to the violin wrong my entire life.

8. Time to file a missing persons report.

7. I mean sure, in theory…

6. That face doesn’t even pretend to care.

5. It is kind of inspiring.

4. I plead the fifth.

3. It’s one of very few perks.

2. Welp, time to start that new life you planned.

1. Bonus points if you order in a baritone.

I definitely laughed at a few of these!

Which was your favorite? Did you laugh out loud?

Share which one did it for you in the comments!

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Funny Memes About Having to Drive Everyday

I’m just as bad as anyone else out there when it comes to doing ridiculous things on the road, but I’m working on it, okay?

I’m trying not to get all worked up about little things that have no effect on my life. Maybe you should, too? Just a thought…

Anyway, enjoy these funny memes about life on the road.

1. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Photo Credit: someecards

2. They do that, don’t they?

Photo Credit: someecards

3. Yeah, probably not a great idea.

Photo Credit: someecards

4. How could you?

Photo Credit: someecards

5. Rules of the road.

Photo Credit: someecards

6. Whoopsy daisy.

Photo Credit: someecards

7. JUST DO IT!

Photo Credit: someecards

8. We’re not going anywhere.

Photo Credit: someecards

9. Highway to the danger zone.

Photo Credit: someecards

10. You’re fine, don’t worry about it.

Photo Credit: someecards

11. Right…that’s why…

Photo Credit: someecards

12. See ya later, sucka!

Photo Credit: someecards

My blood pressure just went through the roof looking at those memes!

What about you? Did these memes test your temper a little bit?

Hey, let’s all calm down and take a deep breath. Have you had any ridiculous stories that happened on the road? Tell us about them in the comments!

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Enjoy These Funny Tweets About Marriage

When the honeymoon is over and you settle into the rhythms of everyday life with your spouse, shit gets real. This is what it’s all about, people.

Take a look and see if your marriage is reflected at all in these tweets.

1.

Photo Credit: Twitter, XplodingUnicorn

2.

Photo Credit: Twitter, iwearaonesie

3.

Photo Credit: Twitter, TheBoydP

4.

Photo Credit: Twitter,j unejuly12

5.

Photo Credit: Twitter, WilliamRodgers

6.

Photo Credit: Twitter, TheCatWhisprer

7.

Photo Credit: Twitter, Lhlodder

8.

Photo Credit: Twitter, TheUnderfold

9.

Photo Credit: Twitter, PetrickSara

10.

Photo Credit: Twitter, AnniemuMary

11.

Photo Credit: Twitter, WorkingMom86

12.

Photo Credit: Twitter, Steven37366100

13.

Photo Credit: Twitter, LizHackett

14.

Photo Credit: Twitter, FatherWithTwins

15.

Photo Credit: Twitter, ValeeGrrl

16.

Photo Credit: Twitter, moooooog35

17.

Photo Credit: Twitter, AngryRaccoon2

18.

Photo Credit: Twitter, simoncholland

19.

Photo Credit: Twitter, sixfootcandy

20.

Photo Credit: Twitter, Wine_Charmer

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These Teachers All Had to Deal with Awful Parents

Teachers have very challenging jobs. Dozens of students, ever-changing curricula, low pay, and long days. But throw in crazy parents and their ridiculous requests, and all of a sudden keeping you cool may be harder than brain surgery!

Check out these 23 Reddit teachers who share some of the craziest reasons parents have contacted them.

1. He’s not gay

I’m an assistant school counsellor. We had a furious parent call us several times and accuse us of turning her son gay. The calls stopped after he got a classmate pregnant.

2. No doubt here

I’ve had a parent complain to me about her child. Her daughter was doing really well, 90+ grades and consistent effort in classwork and homework.

Me: [Student] puts a lot of thought and effort into her work.

Mom: She sucks up to you?

Me: No, she wants to do well and be successful. That being said, we’d like to improve her grammar a bit.

Mom: I knew it, she’s stupid. Doesn’t do anything. She will fail.

Me: Uh, no . . . just needs a little more rigor in this department.

Mom: She’s such a disappointment.

And every once in a while I’ll just get a complaint from her…. her complaining TO me about her child. Her kid’s a joy and I’ve been so much nicer to her since I met this lady.

This student is being helped by our fabulous guidance department. I take care to affirm her effort whenever possible, and assure her that she’s doing great. It may not offset the negativity her mother imposes on her, but the other teachers and I will make sure she doesn’t doubt her ability to do well.

3. Sympathizer

I had a parent complain because I played a CD of classical Persian flute music one day in class. The class was World Languages and Cultures and I played a different CD from around the world every day as they came into class. They thought I was sympathizing with terrorists and should “only teach American stuff”.

4. “Cut him some slack”

I gave the kid a D on a homework. Parent contacted me to complain that I was picking on him.

Even though the parent agreed that most of the answers that he gave were wrong but I should have “cut him some slack.”

5. That really is so stupid

I used to teach phonics (basic reading skills) to kindergarten-aged kids. One parent came in after class, irate, and demanded to know why I had taught the er/ir/ur diphthong before the oi/oy diphthong. He didn’t want his kid to be able to read the word “girl” before being able to read “boy”. Kept going on about how “boy” was just more important and common, as a word, and teaching kids less frequent words before more frequent ones would slow down reading progress and was bad pedagogically, and so on.

In hindsight, I’m impressed that he managed to squeeze so many justifications into something so pointlessly stupid.

6. The Star

One mother threatened to yank her daughter out of the school if this student were not given the starring role in the Christmas concert to sing “O Holy Night”. (An incident previously noted.)

The girl had made it perfectly clear to me, the faculty and classmates that she realized she wasn’t musically qualified for the part, neither did she want to do it.

It was entirely her Mom – determined that her daughter should be “the star” of the school, no matter what.

7. School Bullies

There was a mom who was mad that we wouldn’t let her son be in the class that he wanted to be in. Her son was in grade two, but for the first two or so months of the school year he would go to the kindergarten classroom everyday. We’re not a big school, so there’s only one grade two class.

Developmentally there was no reason he should still be in the kindergarten class, he just kept going there because he liked the toys better and when he was in there he would make fun of the younger students because he was older and smarter than the rest of them and would hit them if they were ‘stupid’.

When we told the mom what was going on and that we needed her to support this transition she thought we were doing this just because we didn’t want her son to be happy at school. We finally got him to go to the correct class (my class), but the troubled behavior (hitting, swearing, making messes, being purposefully distracting, disrespectful and generally inappropriate) still continues, and the mom’s ideas that we’re picking on him and are being mean to him still continue.

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These Comments from Grandparents Should Keep You Laughing

Grandparents are the best! They tell stories from the “good old days” and give awesome fashion advice. Take a gander at these Reddit users and the hilarious things they learned or heard from their older loved ones.

1. I don’t get it

My dad calls dubstep “The Devil’s Dialup Tone” or just “The Garbage Disposal.” He’s had a couple more, but he uses those a lot.

Also, whenever he has to go to the bathroom, he says, “I have to poop like a park ranger.” I still don’t get it.

2. Just go!

I take my grandma out to run her errands and get her out of the house for a while. One day we were in a rush to get somewhere, we came to an intersection and the light turned red right before we got there. She looks at me and says “run it, just go.” Being the good grandson I am, I do so. As we pass, she waves to the oncoming cars and says “toodle-loo!”

3. Lol, tree donkeys

My grandfather used to hide behind the BBQ on his patio and shoot squirrels with a super-soaker when they would try to loot the bird feeder. He would yell “Not today tree donkeys” then come back in the kitchen chuckling to himself. I miss that goofy man.

4. Straight up

Maybe not the funniest thing he’s said, but my 93 year old grandfather when he had his picture taken: “I wish I had a camera. I’d take a picture of myself every day because I’m so damn handsome.”

5. Miscommunication

My grandparents told me this story one time. It was their “coming of age” when they realized they’re two old people now.

Grandpa is trying to get past my grandmother who is loading pre made pies into the freezer. Grandpa says, “Can I get by?”

Grandma grabs her pies and says, “What kind?”

Grandpa checks his watch and says, “Quarter after three”.

Both said they didn’t even realize it until ten minutes later, when my grandpa called my grandma old.

6. Tattoo=Jerk

I’m an EMT, we were taking a 90-something year old man to the ER, and as I was putting the cuff on his arm to get a blood pressure, he sees my tattoo on the inside of my forearm and asks “is that a tattoo?” I say “yes it is, sir” he looks me in the eye and says “well then, that makes you a jerk!” and didn’t say another word to me. I wasn’t even mad, it was too funny.

7. I like big butts and I cannot lie

My grandfather explaining the story of how he met my grandma: “I saw her walking down the street with her friends and picked out the greatest butt.” Short and sweet.

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