It’s our favorite time of the year!
No, I’m not talking about Christmas. Or Thanksgiving. Or Valentine’s Day. Or even YOUR birthday.
I’m talking about Halloween! Where everyone gets all decked out and we can all pretend we’re not ourselves for a night! It’s glorious!
Here are 15 funny tweets about our favorite holiday.
1. Guys…consider another costume.
really excited about all the dudes who are going to dress as the joker for halloween parties and not get laid
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) October 18, 2019
2. All the signs.
what the signs will be on Halloween
Libra- emotional
Aries- high as fuck
Taurus- unappreciated
Gemini- alone
Cancer- ?????
Leo- unloved
Virgo- full of candy
Scorpio- broke
Sagittarius- yes
Capricorn- questioning self worth
Aquarius- working
pisces- busy— follow me only if you're sad (@peedekaf) October 21, 2019
3. That is very impressive.
ONLY 12 DAYS 'TIL HALLOWEEN!
OK, if this kid shows up trick or treating at my house, he's getting ALL my candy.#HappyHamillween pic.twitter.com/HZTjuwJH1r— Mark Hamillween (@HamillHimself) October 19, 2019
4. Gimme all the candy.
7-year-old: Trick or treat?!
Me: It's not Halloween. And this is your own house.
7: Are you giving me candy or not?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 22, 2019
5. Take my money, now.
me:
*
* .
* . * . *
. * . * . .
Targets dollar
Halloween section*.
* . * * . *. * .
.. *
. * .
me:
— ugly & sad
6. Which one is real?
“bought some halloween decor at a thrift store and now i can’t find my cat.” pic.twitter.com/Rj8wDpTEkU
— Cats (@SpaceCatPics) October 20, 2019
7. Helping out the kids.
I’m ready for Halloween this year pic.twitter.com/RazxmxNZ4x
— martin (@YUNGDAGGERCL1T) October 15, 2019
8. Not as advertised.
What I bought
online for What actually
Halloween arrived pic.twitter.com/jDEqHAPRG5— Netflix Philippines (@Netflix_PH) October 21, 2019
9. One or the other.
Wife: pick a Halloween movie to watch.
Me: Harry Potter.
Wife: that’s not a Halloween movie.
Me: then why does it have witches?
Wife:
Me: and spells.
Wife:
Me: and flying broomsticks.
Wife: pick another movie.
Me: fine. Harry Potter number 2.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) October 20, 2019
10. I think it sounds fun…
being a copywriter for a halloween costume company seems like a cool gig you just sit around all day trying to come up with names like “jovial murder clown” or “glasses orphan warlock”. what a life!
— ski patrol lars (@KrangTNelson) October 21, 2019
11. You knew this was gonna happen.
[Halloween party]
Winnie the Pooh: *dressed as Paddington* dude!
Paddington: *dressed as Winnie* DUDE!
— Michael Tannenbaum (@iamTannenbaum) October 21, 2019
12. Y’all can just quit.
My friend won Halloween y’all can quit pic.twitter.com/WNgZ5L18sc
— Jonathan Jacobo (@Colin_Field_) October 19, 2019
13. My idea of Heaven.
Halloween Dog Parade y’all omg
pic.twitter.com/EZXTkmqarY
— cave (@caveism) October 19, 2019
14. Some ideas to consider.
ok fine Halloween costume ideas:
-a turtle that tells off another turtle then has to SLOWLY storm out of the conversation
-Rockefeller Center xmas tree on Dec 26 ("is it weird that I'm still here?")
-an owl that's actually kinda stupid, but coasts on the reputation of his species— julio torres ~* (@juliothesquare) October 20, 2019
15. I feel you.
i love that Halloween is almost here but i hate that Halloween is almost here because then i’m going to miss it when it’s gone
— alexa (@glitter_bat_) October 20, 2019
What are you doing for Halloween this year?
Let us know your plans in the comments…maybe we can meet up…?
Have a fun and safe Halloween, everyone!
The post 15 Funny Halloween Tweets to Get You in the Mood to Trick or Treat appeared first on UberFacts.