Tweets That Remind Us We Have No Idea What Day It Is Right Now

The great Grouch Marx once said, “Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.” If you don’t get it at first go back and read it a few more times. It’s a delightfully confusing quote about time that keeps rolling through my head in an era when nobody, including me, seems to have any idea where we are chronologically, ever.

At least the people on Twitter are being funny about it. Here’s 14 examples of tweets about how we’re all sort of lost in the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff.

14. The 8 Commandments

Yeah I think I remember these from The Bible.

13. Days’d and confused

If my phone breaks I think I’ll actually lose my soul.

12. A Planner Darkly

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

11. Thank God it’s whatever

We can start drinking even earlier! Or later? I don’t know how it works now.

10. The days are years

We need a whole new set of idioms.

9. Time is relative

It’s always now.

8. Public service announcement

Quit trying to take Rebecca Black’s job, she has this ONE THING.

7. It slows

I don’t know what “take your time” even means anymore.

6. Eternal matrimony

For as long as you both shall live.

5. Hot take

Whoa there buddy, I’m on Twitter to have a good time.

4. I hate Mondays

I wonder how Garfield feels about this latest revelation.

3. Digital fatigue

Even our robot butlers are bored.

2. Show-offs

Nobody likes a bragger.

1. Oh no…

But the other tweet said…ah, nevermind.

Maybe it’s time to invest in the sundial market. That seems about as sensible as anything else right now!

Oh, also, what day is it?

Tell us in the comments. We genuinely don’t know.

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