It’s now 2020, so you know what that means…resolutions that we’re gonna stick to for maybe a week or so and then completely forget about!
Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself…it’s the way it goes.
Here are some tweets about New Year’s resolutions that I think will look very familiar to a lot of you…
1. Dammit…
New year
resolution
End of the year https://t.co/x6AHXMei8J— Daddddy is high
(@Daddyistwenty) December 25, 2019
2. Two sides of the coin.
SAYING YOU ARE MAKING A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
• predictable & boring
• nobody wants to hear about itSAYING YOU "THINK THE TIDES ARE TURNING"
• what the hell does that mean?
• are you some kind of ocean wizard?
• you seem mysterious & powerful— Roxi Horror
(@roxiqt) December 26, 2019
3. Me, too.
i don’t have a New Years resolution because i perfected myself in 2019 and have absolutely no issues, concerns, fears, personal debt, vendettas, grudges, or food allergies at all nope nothing whatsoever
— Jackson Rickun (@JacksonRickun) December 31, 2019
4. That didn’t last long.
New Years resolutions be like : pic.twitter.com/kVqaTnzBQl
— ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕜-𝕗𝕚𝕝-𝔸 𝕌𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕙𝕒
(@CrispyAnime) December 28, 2019
5. That sounds familiar…
my only two new years resolutions are to:
1) release my inhibitions
2) feel the rain on my skin— liz (@liz_haydon) January 1, 2020
6. I think that’s possible.
My New Years resolutions are to eat better, stop drinking so much, save more, and transcend the limitations of human flesh, becoming one with the hidden, unblinking eye that hovers over the earth.
— Greg Newkirk
(@nuekerk) December 31, 2019
7. You can do it!
My resolution, and I think it’s doable, is to run so fast into a chain link fence that I come out as cubes.
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) January 1, 2020
8. No more of that.
Just saw a dude carrying lettuce in one hand & more lettuce in a bag in his other hand and he was taking bites of the hand lettuce like it was a nice treat. So my resolution for 2020 is I don’t want to see that ever again.
— Chris Calogero (@RealChrisCal) December 31, 2019
9. Good luck to you.
my new year’s resolution is to put my clothes back on the hangers after i try 8 different outfits outta the closet lol
— 𝖇𝖚𝖓𝖓𝐲 (@brendonisdead) December 29, 2019
10. Hmmmm…might happen?
my new years resolution is to continue being a cutie fuckin patootie
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) December 29, 2019
11. Still no ass?
ANOTHER YEAR WITH NO ASS. IM FINNA CHANGE MY RESOLUTION
— Nicole Tv (@kaylanicolejo) December 30, 2019
12. Just don’t think. Ever.
my new year resolution is to simply stop thinking fuck a thought
— H (@heavybagofbones) December 30, 2019
13. You might be the only one.
My new years resolution pic.twitter.com/lLeBd43mIe
— Spike the Allosaur (@SpikeAllosaur) December 28, 2019
14. Nice and wholesome.
Person: Any big resolutions for the new year?
Me: Fuck more, cry less
— Girls Gotta Eat Podcast (@Girls_GottaEat) December 30, 2019
What are your New Year’s Resolutions?
Even if you’ve already broken them, share them with us in the comments!
The post These New Year’s Resolution Tweets Should Leave You Laughing appeared first on UberFacts.