If there’s not a dad joke hall of fame there really should be…
I mean, that way we could know who to avoid if we’re not in the mood for puns…just kidding, because that’s not a thing!
These 9 dads are really on top of their games, and I know this content is just what you want today, so read on!
9. We’re so close here. So very close.
There’s still a lot of infighting, though, so we shouldn’t feel bad.
Once you can send your kids to play in the other room without worrying about them dying, the second part of your life begins.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 22, 2019
8. At least they know the fire plan! Get out!
But who has a land line? Answer: nobody.
Our landline rang today and all three of our kids got confused and went outside because they thought a fire alarm was going off.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 12, 2018
7. Happens to the best of us. And the worst of us. And everybody else.
Get one of those little jump boxes and never use a jumper cable again.
My kid left a car light on overnight so this morning my battery was dead, which reminded me the importance of life-lessons like jump-starting an engine, keeping an emergency kit handy, and above all else, proper use of birth control
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) October 20, 2020
6. You do what you gotta do! Just don’t do this again.
We’re in the trenches, here.
Before kids: I'll never lie to my children.
With kids: Eating candy after dark makes you poop spiders.
— Dad That Writes
(@dadthatwrites) November 6, 2020
5. It’s about both? I guess?
That’s how you know it’s about a man and not a woman.
Being a Dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy-bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 18, 2017
4. It’s the probably that would worry me.
Unless she’s really good with words.
6-year-old: I have a spelling test tomorrow.
Me: What do you have to spell?
6: Words, probably.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 30, 2020
3. It’s not like they’d listen before they got hurt.
Or after, to be honest.
As a parent it’s my job to shout “Be careful!” at my children just after they’ve fallen over
— Spazio (@Spaziotwat) April 8, 2018
2. Pullovers are life.
Anyone who buys snap onesies for babies is pure evil.
Buy your toddler clothes with lots of snaps and buttons if you’ve ever thought it would be cool to do a puzzle that tries to kick you and run away while you solve it
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 20, 2020
1. Life is really wearing on them.
Poor babies.
Compare your kids school photos year-over-year and you can see them becoming adults through the gradual draining of emotion in their expressions
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 24, 2020
This is what I need every single day. When I get up. In the middle of the day, and when I go to bed.
If we’re being honest – funny people telling the truth about the parenting trenches.
Which one had you in stitches? Tell us all about in the comments!
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