Author: Trisha Leigh

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26 Feel-Good Memes To Put You in a Better Mood

The world can really get to you sometimes, you know? People are letting you down, work stinks, and it can seem like getting through yet another day just seems annoying and pointless.

Those are the kind of days when you need a reminder that there are reasons to feel good, and life really is worth hanging in there for – that’s where these happy memes come in.

We promise these 26 won’t make you feel anything but good.

26. Your parents knew what would happen all along.

And they weren’t going to stop it.

Grandparents are the best. from wholesomememes

25. All friends big and small.

And snails are actually really cute. If slimy.

Snails are friends too 🐌 from wholesomememes

24. I would like to cosign this so hard.

Read all of the books (that you want to).

List of Books to Read Before You’re Dead from wholesomememes

23. A little politeness goes a long way.

But so does actually tipping your waiter with actual money.

Excessive politeness from wholesomememes

22. The purest of interactions.

Sweet little turtle friend.

The turtle is happy. from wholesomememes

21. If only everyone was this emotionally mature.

It takes a long time to get there for some people.

Learn and grow from everything from wholesomememes

20. You’ve gotta know who you’re dating.

This is either a big win or a big loss.

This is how it should be from wholesomememes

19. Professors are people, too.

Sometimes they’re the best people.

he is a nice person from wholesomememes

18. I would never have seen that in my noodles.

Now I can’t unsee it, of course.

It’s so addicting from wholesomememes

17. Goth kids are the best kids.

You’ve gotta just look past the clothes.

Dark makeup, golden hearts from wholesomememes

16. How can this not make you smile.

It’s impossible.

Just seeing these two together make me happy from wholesomememes

15. Grandparents are always proud of you.

That’s like, their job.

Took me to Olive Garden afterwards from wholesomememes

14. More of this, please.

My heart just exploded.

The kind of news we need from wholesomememes

13. That is the cutest bee I’ve ever seen.

I still wouldn’t hold it, though.

Has a bee ever landed on you ?… from wholesomememes

12. A sign of a healthy relationship.

In the modern world, at any rate.

My wife does this all the time from wholesomememes

11. It’s not exactly useful.

But it IS adorable.

Grandma rocks from wholesomememes

10. This is always so awkward.

But oh-so-necessary.

Lucky for my mom dad and frens from wholesomememes

9. People like this understand what life is like.

We need more of them in the world.

He deserves it. from wholesomememes

8. The best moment.

This is one smart kitty!

here kitty kitty from wholesomememes

7. Cat people unite!

If you know, you know.

It doesn’t happen very often from wholesomememes

6. Talking to little humans is great.

You can make up both sides of the conversation!

Sup little person? from wholesomememes

5. Gotta give those kids their positive reinforcement.

They worked really hard on that!

It’s belly-rubbing delicious! from wholesomememes

4. It makes everyone happy.

There’s no other possible way.

Does this make you happy too? from wholesomememes

3. Some people are rolling their eyes.

Some people are saying #relationshipgoals

Wholesome dino couple:) from wholesomememes

2. You’ve got some deep pockets, kid.

Maybe you should thank your parents!

When I was a kid I honestly thought PBS was thanking me for watching from wholesomememes

1. If you feed them, they will come.

But only after a few weeks, because they’re birds.

Only took ’em 3 weeks from wholesomememes

Ahhh, I’m feeling downright optimistic!

Tell us in the comments which did the trick for you!

The post 26 Feel-Good Memes To Put You in a Better Mood appeared first on UberFacts.

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Scientists Are Planning on Building Noah’s Ark…On the Moon

There are plenty of headlines I never expected to write since I started writing articles for you lovely people, and this is definitely one of them. I mean…Noah’s Ark? On the moon?

Let’s dig in here and get started on answering the many, many questions that you’ve probably already got brewing, eh?

Shall we start with why?

The answer to this is actually quite simple – you’ve seen movies like Armageddon and Deep Impact et al, right? The idea that an asteroid could suddenly slam into earth and take out all of humanity? Like, nothing left?

Scientists actually believe that, in the year 2068, something like that could be coming for us in reality.

The answer could be a 21st-century version of Noah’s Ark that, instead of containing two of every animal, would contain a repository of cryogenically frozen reproductive cells from 6.7 million species on Earth.

Dr. Jekam Thanga is the mastermind behind the project, and sees the whole thing as a global insurance policy.

“As a human civilization, we’re in a fragile state. We’re not really that rigid or able to face all kinds of adversities. And Earth’s ecosystem is also very fragile.”

They plan to utilize the lava tubes just below the moon’s surface to build the compound and a lunar solar farm to generate their electricity, and to use robots to man the laboratory, and no, we’re not living in a science fiction novel currently.

But we might be soon.

The lava tubes were formed billions of years ago by streams of lava that melted through the soft rock underground. They’re about 328 feet in diameter and could protect the facility from solar radiation, micrometeorites, and the extreme surface temperatures – not an ideal spot for humans.

At least not yet, says Thanga.

“Setting up a base inside a lava tube seems like a plausible way to go if we wanted to set up a permanent settlement on the moon. But we as humans are not mole rates. We’re going to feel pretty stuffy being underground without being able to see outside.”

Thanga says we could use existing technology and materials to build the actual structure on the moon, but the miniature robots being proposed would take a bit more finagling.

“What we envision is taking one of the existing pits – just the opening into the lava tube – and installing an elevator shaft there.”

He envisions elevator shafts and cryo preservation that shelves petri dishes much like books in a library.

There would also be a system for communicating back and forth with earth, and solar panels would be installed to turn sunlight into electricity. Modular batteries will attach to the cryo preservation modules and keep the lights on and maintain temperatures that are optimal for the samples.

If you think this all sounds a bit futuristic, think again – Thanga says this could be a possibility within the next three decades. He estimates it would take around 250 rocket launches to ferry 50 specimens each of the 6.7 million species to the ark, a goal that would be substantially helped by the private companies like SpaceX and Blue Origin who are launching their own rockets into orbit.

If an asteroid does slam into Earth, let’s hope someone is still around to launch a rocket to the moon.

Someone who also knows how to use the petri dishes of cells to bring some more humans to life.

So, maybe they do have a few kinks still to work out, eh?

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Check Out the Viral “Popcorn Salad” Recipe That Has People Horrified

You’ve most likely heard the saying that there’s “no accounting for taste,” which basically means when it comes to things like food and fashion, people like what they like and there’s really no point in trying to change it.

That said, when someone claims to be a professional chef, though, you should be able to have some professional trust that the recipes they share are – at the very least – not completely horrifying.

That’s not the case with this recipe from chef Molly Yeh, who is completely adorable and typically super duper charming.

Image Credit: Food Network

Yep, super cute.

But you know what’s NOT super cute? This mess.

Image Credit: Food Network

No one on Twitter, though, is being charmed by the combination of popcorn and mayonnaise.

Yeh is an American cookbook author, blogger, and host of the Food Network cooking show Girl Meets Farm. She incorporates her Jewish and Asian heritage into her cooking, with a sprinkle of Midwestern for good measure, and everything usually comes out looking delicious.

That said, this monstrosity of mayonnaise, popcorn, and various vegetables?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Image Credit: Food Network

“Popcorn salad is one of those classic Midwestern dishes that you would often find in a church basement potluck.”

I’m sorry… I live in the Midwest and I have NEVER heard of this. From anybody. Anywhere.

Now, while Molly admits that the ingredients sound weird, she swears that the final result is delicious. Her salad included peas, carrots, shallots, mayo, sour cream, apple cider vinegar, sugar, and Dijon mustard – and, of course, the popcorn.

She finished the dish off with some watercress and celery leaves.

Image Credit: Food Network

The friends she invited over expressed surprise – even the ones from the Midwest, where the dish is supposedly popular – but swore they were pleasantly shocked at the result.

The good people of the internet think everyone involved are lying liars, as is evidenced by their hilarious replies.

I mean…does that look like an honest face to you?

This is not what you bring to a gathering, my friends. Not unless you want to get hurt.

That’s probably where plates of this are going to end up. Rightfully so.

You do have to get behind that idea, I don’t care who you are.

The video has gone completely viral, with over 3M views, and not one person has said they’re thinking about trying it.

How to Make Molly's Crunchy Snap Pea Popcorn Salad

Def going to start adding POPCORN to every single salad now, Molly Yeh! Croutons, who?! 😅🍿🥗Watch #GirlMeetsFarm, Sundays @ 11a|10c and subscribe to discovery+ to stream #GirlMeetsFarm and so much more: http://discoverypl.us/34WCE6K. #discoveryplusGet the recipe for Crunchy Snap Pea Popcorn Salad: http://foodtv.com/3bfDOfS.

Posted by Food Network on Tuesday, February 16, 2021

What about you? Is this going on your “must try” Pinterest board?

I’m from the Midwest. My parents are from the Midwest, and that story goes back for several generations, and no one – not one person – has ever thrust a popcorn salad into my hands at a potluck.

I don’t think I’ll be the one to start the tradition.

I’m just saying.

The post Check Out the Viral “Popcorn Salad” Recipe That Has People Horrified appeared first on UberFacts.

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Did You Know Lifeguards in Los Angeles Can Make More Than $350,000 a Year?

I’m a Midwesterner, so when I think about lifeguards, what comes to mind is teenagers who compete on their school’s swim teams and who also earn some summer cash watching over kids (and adults) at the local swimming holes.

It turns out that on the coasts, though, policing the oceans can be an actual job that pays really, really well.

Auditors at OpenTheBooks.com compiled numbers from Freedom of Information Act requests and data listed with Transparent California, and found that nearly 100 lifeguards in the state made over $200,000 in 2019.

Image Credit: iStock

The top earner, “acting chief lifeguard” Fernando Boiteux, made a whopping $391,971 once all of his salary, overtime, perks, and benefits were included.

The runner-up was one Captain Daniel Douglas, who made $140,706 in base salary, $131,493 in overtime pay, $21,760 in “other pay,” and $74,709 in benefits – that’s a total salary of $368,668, if you don’t want to do the math yourself.

Thirty-one of the lifeguards listed made between $50,000 and $131,493 in overtime in 2019 – a fact that might have taxpayers wondering why they’re footing the bill for so much overtime when their taxes (to the tune of $45 billion a year) already go toward the state public employee’s salaries.

Image Credit: iStock

And get this – even though lifeguards do sign up for a dangerous job that’s high-stress in many scenarios, the majority of the top earners are not the same lifeguards who were awarded for their heroism.

For example, 2020 Medal of Valor winner Edward “Nick” Macko “only” earned $134,144 that year, ranking 167th out of 1001 employees. He earned the medal by jumping into rough waters in a remote gorge in order to pull a man to safety, saving him from potentially crushing his skull on razor-sharp rocks.

The 2019 winners, Shaun Gudmundsson and Ruben Carmona, earned “just” $165,761 and $194,919 respectively. The performed a dangerous nighttime rescue of two trapped fishermen as hurricane conditions affected both tides and surf.

Image Credit: iStock

If you’re wondering, only two of the top twenty highest earners were women, and no, pool lifeguards don’t make nearly as much – only around $50K including all of their pay and benefits.

Still, it’s a much more lucrative gig that I ever imagined.

And you can still work on your tan while you scan the waters waiting to be a hero.

That’s allowed, right?

The post Did You Know Lifeguards in Los Angeles Can Make More Than $350,000 a Year? appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Woman Wrote a Few Lines of Code to Convince Her Boss She Could Be Trusted to Work From Home

All the things that happened in 2020 has changed a lot of people’s perspectives on work. We were given options that we were previously informed didn’t exist – namely the ability to work exclusively from home – and more than a few of us would like to know why those options are going to extend past the end of the pandemic.

If, you know. It ever ends.

This woman’s employer did some restructuring when it was time to call people back to work, deciding whether people would need to be in person, hybrid, or full tie work from home employees on a permanent basis.

She was really hoping, for an array of reasons, to be listed among the last group.

As part of the plan to return to office post covid, my company has done a lot of re-designating of who can permanently work from home, who can hybrid, etc. I really wanted to work from home full time. I hate the office with a burning passion – it’s distracting, it’s a long commute, there’s no benefit to being there, so on and so forth. I’d just rather be at home.

When the lists came out, though, she was put with the group who needed to come back into the office full time.

Since she didn’t think this made much sense given her history with the company, she spoke with her manager and learned it was all because she went “idle” too often in their group chat.

Well when we thought May was going to be go back to office time they started giving out the new designations. I got designated as in office full time. It made no sense to me. I work on a team of 8 people and each of us is in a different office somewhere in the country. I’ve literally never been to an in person meeting or needed to do in person work in 3 years at this company. Every single other person on my team got designated to work from home.

So I brought it up with my boss and asked to work from home. When I started at this company and lived elsewhere I got to work from home for 4 months before I moved and the past 14 months during covid have been at home, so 18/36 months at the company have been WFH. What I was told is that I go idle too often in chat to trust to work from home.

This happens when you don’t touch your keyboard for 5 minutes straight, but as she points out – like we all didn’t know this already – there’s typically not 8 hours worth of work to do in an 8-hour workday.

Basically we have a company wide IM system that shows you as available, idle, or in a meeting. If you don’t touch your keyboard for 5 minutes you show as idle. So they’ve decided to use this as a measure for who is working and who isn’t. The thing is, like many people in many types of jobs, I don’t have shit to do for a full 8 hours every single day. The amount of work I have to do on a typical day takes 3-5 hours of actual attention. There simply isn’t something to do ALL the time.

Her performance evaluations and honestly, her use of time, have both improved while she’s worked from home, but that didn’t matter.

Just the chat.

My performance numbers actually went up working from home, by all objective KPI numbers I’m a better worker at home. In fact, in the KPIs that I don’t flat out lead the team in, I come in second. There isn’t work to do that I’m neglecting or procrastinating, when something comes up I simply do it until it’s done or until I can’t do anymore due to waiting on someone else then stop. And I’ve done that method long enough that my work queue stays empty because I worked to get my queue down to the point where when something comes up I can immediately address it and be done with it.

But because I have other ways to spend my time in down time instead of messing around online at my cube pretending to be working meaning I show idle more often, I’m a worse worker apparently. I was told if it weren’t for that they would let me work at home.

And so she fixed it quite simply.

So I wrote a 6 line powershell script that virtually inputs the period key every 4 minutes that starts running every day at 8am and stops at 5pm. So now I literally never go idle. I do the same amount of work and still read books, watch tv, and play video games on the side. But I have a shiny green check next to my name all day.

The next time the company looked at having employees come back into the office, they decided she could stay at home.

Because she was obviously working now.

Because of covid complications they eventually said no going back until after labor day. I just had a meeting with my boss and he said over this time they’ve noticed I go idle a lot less than I used to so they’re changing my designation to work from home, all because of a little icon in some software.

This concludes my TED talk on why low to middle level managers are the dumbest, most useless do-nothing positions in all of corporate America.

If you’re curious, here’s the code.

A lot of people are understandably asking for the script:

$dummyshell = New-Object -com "Wscript.shell"
$dummyshell.sendkeys(".")

That’s the backbone of the whole thing. There’s different ways to implement it with for loops or scheduled tasks or whatever, that parts up to you, but that’s all the powershell needs at it’s core to accomplish this. A lot of people have pointed out that sending Insert or F13 instead of period would be better so change that up if you want.

You’re welcome.

Y’all, I hope you’re not working harder than you need to be for a company that would replace you in a hot minute if something were to happen.

Do your job, sure, but also realize your worth – both are important if you want to get the most out of life.

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Here’s Some More Proof That Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold (Hearted)

There’s been more than one study that proves many, if not the majority, of people find jobs because of who they know and not what – not necessarily big, important jobs, either, but managers just seem to trust their employees recommendations over hiring a stranger.

This guy was happy with his job, despite the pay not being the best, because other benefits made it worthwhile.

This happened a couple of years ago. I was working on a part time basis in a small firm owned by friends.

Pay was not very good, but the atmosphere was and I was allowed to set my own timings. So life was good overall.

So worthwhile, in fact, that when his friend’s company first approached him with an offer that included more money, he turned it down.

Then a friend whom I knew only through social media approached me for a job in her company.

Even though they were offering good money I turned down the offer as I knew I could not get the benefits I was getting in my current job.

Plus the commute to the new office was very long. I would have to travel 2 hrs one way and change 3 trains just to reach office.

When the HR department for the same firm came to him a bit later with an offer he couldn’t refuse, though, he…didn’t refuse.

A month later the HR of the new firm approached me again. They offered me almost four times the money I was making and I could set my own work hours.

There was also extra pay for working overtime and on weekends. This was important.

I joined the new company.

The friend liked to gloat that she had gotten them the job, and eventually OP couldn’t help but correct her. They had negotiated their own, much more favorable terms, on their own.

Now, I’m not sure how smart or necessary that correction was, given that the friend was their boss, but there you go.

My friend did not know the terms of the new agreement I had with HR. She used to act like I owed her big time for the opportunity I got. So one day I corrected her. I told her that I had turned down the offer she had been part of and one month later I had had my own negotiations and I got much more favorable terms. So I was here because her company really needed me and not because of her.

Once the friend realized this meant OP was making more than her, she wanted them gone.

I didn’t share the details of my agreement with her, but we both realized that she was making significantly lesser than me. This totally changed her attitude towards me.

Now she wanted me out and I was determined to stick through for at least a year. So she decided that she would make it very difficult for me to work so that I quit on my own.

There are a lot of stories I have about how she tried every trick in the book to make me quit. I’m sharing some of them here.

She was my manager and was in charge of allocating work.

First, she tried assigning them more work, or asking them to come in on the weekends, not realizing that OP was getting paid more for overtime and weekend work.

Ka-CHING.

Malicious Compliance – 1

She started piling on more work on me than any other member of the team. I was happy to comply – she did not know that as part of my contract I would be paid 1.5 times the hourly rate for every hour I worked OT and 2 times the hourly rate if any work was allocated to me over weekends or holidays.

Every time she tried to ruin my weekend by calling me to office unnecessarily, I happily complied. This continued till the time I left the organization and told her how much extra money she had helped me make.

Then, she made a ridiculous rule about not having beverages in the office (what even), but too late realized that meant she would have to go out for her coffee.

Since OP set their own hours, they could enjoy their fruit juice and just start their day a bit later.

Malicious Compliance – 2

After the long commute to work, I used to be hungry so I developed the habit of stopping at the food court to pick up a glass of fresh fruit juice and carry it with me to work.

My manager thought that this way she could harass me without actually seeming to do so. So she sent a notice that bringing liquids to office was a hazard.

Ironically she used to have coffee delivered to get desk 3 times a day. Well, I pointed out that the rule applied to her as well and if I couldn’t have my juice, she couldn’t have her coffee. She had to literally spend an extra unpaid hour at work every time she wanted her special coffee.

Meanwhile I was happy to leisurely sit in the food court – have my glass of fresh fruit juice with some snacks and then begin my work day half hour later than usual.

I’m not sure what OP really got out of this except their own satisfaction, but honestly, sometimes that’s really enough.

Would you have called your friend out or just kept your head down and your working environment sound? Tell us how you would have handled this in the comments!

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An Experienced Firearms Owner Put a Bad Cop to Shame in This Hilarious Story

There’s no way to discuss gun violence and policing in America without starting an argument – or, at the very least, making a table full of people uncomfortable. That said, I think we’ve all encountered one of those “bad apples” in our day, and hopefully lived to tell the tale.

When it comes to bad people and small towns, though, I’ve gotta say that I’ve never really felt as if the two mixed.

This man is an experienced gun owner, private security agent, and a bunch of other smart analytical stuff.

Get ready for a WILD ride!

Okay, so… after moving to a small town to support his wife’s career aspirations he spent some time fixing up the house and getting to know their neighbors – like most small towns, that was no small feat.

Bit of backstory: My wife inherited a house and land and begged me to move there. It was somewhere I knew wouldn’t have anything in either of my fields for employment, (physical security specialist and force-on-force analytics and planning) but she got a job offer in her field (wildlife management) at a salary that matched what we were currently making combined, along with an employment contract (rare in the US), control of her own team and insanely good benefits.

Since we have no children and I am the adaptable type and I could see this meant a lot to her, I agreed. We put our house up for sale and we moved there sight unseen. While I am use to and even fond of it now, this place was the land that time forgot, (literally horse and buggy country) and it quickly became clear that for awhile, she would have to be sole income while I brought our new property into the modern era.

The house literally had no plumbing, there was an outhouse and a manual well pump outside! We decided to buy a used house trailer, place it on the southernmost part of the property and live in it while I worked on the house. I am not from this area. And the culture shock was intense! My wife had family from there and would spend a few summers as a child with relatives so she understood the people better than me and being the same height and skin tone she was quickly accepted.

Meanwhile, standing 8″ minimum above everyone else and being so white I show up from outer space, I had a bit of a harder time, but managed to make some friends eventually. After some time getting everything updated we came in way under budget since I had decided to learn the skills and do all the work myself.

Like most small towns, his was struggling with a drug problem that led to a crime problem. Our OP saw an opportunity and set up shop, helping the locals learn how to defend themselves and provide security for their businesses.

He felt great, and like he was really making a difference.

He was also the place the local police went to certify/re-certify their firearms training.

It quickly became clear that while our immediate area was lovely, with good people and trusting neighbors, the surrounding counties had developed a meth/pill problem and with all the industries being strict on drug testing once heroin came onto the scene people were starting to make their way to our area for break-ins, carjacking’s and even a few cases of kidnapping for ransom. A couple senior citizens just outside of town were broken into and beaten then shot to death just for maybe $300 worth of jewelry a couple old guns and their pain meds.

Seeing a need in my community I used the leftover money we had and I bought land in B.F.E deemed unfit for development at a steal (soil lead levels were too high for housing/farming and too remote for commercial) and after getting permits/certifications and almost a year of doing all the building and earthworks myself while working a part-time hospital security job a county over, I started a security, self/home defense and firearms training company.

I created local jobs in the nearby counties by training armed guards beyond state standards, helped people develop a neighborhood watch program, offered neighborhood security patrols at cost, made sure local shops got cameras and had plans and training in place incase of a robbery and worked with individual households to develop their own home defense strategies along with offering concealed carry training, advanced firearm training, OC spray, trauma and first aid training and other things.

Somehow without meaning to, I managed to wedge myself into a unique position where I not only trained everyday people, but I got certified to be the guy that all police agencies in the region send their officers to for state recertification and further training. Turns out before I came along, they had to send their officers almost six hours north to a state facility, which meant that they also had to pay for a hotel room for anyone that went up there, as well as two meals and mileage if they didn’t drive a squad car.

Not to mention that the tactics taught didn’t always translate well to our area. I offered to do it for a bit less, and given my location, no hotels or anything else were needed. For the first time in my life, I feel like my work really matters, that I am making a positive difference for real people and I look forward to going into my job!

That meant that he knew most, if not all of the local police. He also knew that the officers in town had a close relationship with the locals, and that no one would stand for police mistreating anyone in town (or at all).

In my line of work, I have ended up knowing a lot of the police in my area pretty well, and can say that I even consider a few of them to be friends. The departments I work with get quite a few officers who are new or transfers from other areas as this region of my state has a pretty median average pay grade and a lot of officers use it as a stepping stone to get to the bigger paying areas or to get their first bit of experience and head to another state.

Now, the ones who have made a life here and decided to stay learned a long time ago that the locals here don’t take shit that isn’t fair lightly. The people here DEMAND justice come h**l or high water. In the past, corrupt officers have been hanged or beaten when the courts failed the citizens and didn’t punish officers for doing something heinous. (One shot an unarmed 12 year old and another let a drunk/drugged man die moaning in a cell after a K-9 unit literally ripped open his abdomen, and was heard laughing and joking about it. Both essentially got a long paid vacation and then went right back to work until someone caught up with them).

Even one former judge who got a slap on the wrist after being convicted of molesting three children went missing and was later found bound to a tree and was apparently set on fire while still alive, so the officers tend to do a really good job of weeding out the bad apples and reminding newcomers that they are there to help people and protect people, not harm or bully them which in my experience is not the case with all (or even most) offices in places I have lived before.

After having a chat with one of his officer friends he learned that was a new man in town, and not the sort that seemed as if he was really going to fit in well.

I was doing an armed guard gig during a night shift filling in for one of my employees who had a family emergency mid-shift when a police car spotted me on perimeter check and pulled into the lot to to see who I was (I wasn’t wearing a uniform) and the place I was guarding receives a lot of raw metals that they then melt into various alloys to be shipped off for use. It’s a crackheads dream looting spot with the way scrap prices can be for some of the materials there.

After figuring out it was me they decided to sit and BS for a bit. While talking with these officers, I listened to them share about a new hire who transferred from a larger city and they just know is going to cause trouble with the locals. They mention how he has that I-know-better-than-you attitude and thinks that the piece of metal on his chest means that he IS the law.

Apparently he had already raised a bit of a stink because he writes citations for things that no other officer in the department has (Driving with one hand, burnt out fog light, plastic being taped over a broken back window in a car, headlights not on in the middle or the day and it’s raining. He even tried to give a guy a DUI even though he was sitting in the car ON BLOCKS in his driveway and it had no rear axel). Apparently he speaks aggressively to anyone who dare interact with him if they aren’t a police officer and overall just act like a power tripping douche nozzle.

The other officers have noticed that the locals have changed their demeanor towards them and seem more distrusting since this guy started and they were genuinely worried that he would turn everyone against them. In the words of one of these officers, ” With everything in the news these days, and the whole nation already being distrusting of us I hope we can find something to set the b**tard straight before he ruins the rep we work so hard to keep here.

I like that people here will just come up and talk to me, it’s the main reason I stayed here.” We brainstormed for awhile about how to get through to Officer Douche and make him change his ways (or career), but eventually came up with nothing legal and had to go back to doing our respective jobs like adults.

Two weeks later he met him for himself, and nothing really changed his opinion.

Two weeks or so after having this chat, and hearing similar things for other officers I know, I get my first interaction with Officer Douche.

I don’t advertise my business on my work vehicle and it is completely unremarkable but all the officers I know can spot it somehow so I’ve gotten in the habit of waving anytime I pass a squad car. On my way to speak with a prospective client about a consultation for their home defense plan, this a$$-hat pulled me over for waving at him when we passed each other on a two lane highway.

He slammed his brakes on, whips around in the middle of the road and came flying up behind me so close I can’t see his headlights with flashing lights on and siren blaring. After enduring his frankly insulting lines of questioning with his hand ON his pistol grip about why I “felt the need to carry a gun” (in my state it is required by law that anyone with a CCW/CCL has to inform the officer) and him sharing his doubts that “99% of people probably wouldn’t even know how or be able to use it”, the goblin wrote me a citation for “reckless operation of a vehicle” stating that he was justified in doing so because he saw me remove my hand from the wheel.

Trying to be diplomatic I said, “I just figured that you would appreciate a friendly gesture from someone today, I know I like when someone gives me a friendly wave.” This absolute insult to humanity blows his gasket, gets in my face yelling at me and threatening to “haul my smarta$$ downtown and see how friendly I am when I am hooked up in the back of his car” says that if he felt like it he could “cost me more in impound fees and lost wages than I would make in a month” (he has no clue what I do or where I work) then asked what I “thought about that”.

At this point I have an internal battle with myself wanting to slam him to the ground and beat his skull open on the asphalt to see exactly how empty it was inside, but saner thoughts prevail and I simply handed him my lawyers business card and stated that any further interactions we had would have to go though her.

He looked at the card, called me a pu**y and told me to get out of his sight. Once I got moving in my car I realized exactly how angry he had made me. I have spent years learning to keep my emotions to a minimum since it could cost someone dearly in my line of work and this c**t was able to boil my blood in just a few minutes.

He wasn’t a big guy even for the area and he didn’t carry himself like someone who was confident if their skills. Being that aggressive and having his hand on his pistol grip for most of our interaction spoke volumes as to what kind of person he was.

What would happen if he pulled over someone who didn’t have my level of control and acted like that or worse? I decided that the officers I had talked to were defiantly not exaggerating and this d%*k was going to end up getting himself or someone else killed or hurt and something needed to be done about it.

He got his ticket overturned, but even after a chat with the sheriff, realized there was nothing that the law could really do about him.

First I went to court and showed my dash-cam video which got my citation dismissed. I took the rest of the audio and video to the Sheriff of the county he works for and showed it to him, then we had a long conversation. He agreed with my assessment of this guy, but said that he couldn’t really do much but reprimand him for it and admitted that he would love to just toss him out on his ass however he knew that the union would fight to prevent that and at best he would only be gone a few days to get some training that would most likely go entirely ignored.

He even cautioned me against filing against him because he figured the guy was the type to take it personal and he didn’t want to see anything happen to me. He promised he would do what he could to get rid of the cunt, but in most ways his hands were tied. I could tell he hoped that the guy would just move on and become someone else’s problem when his two years were up.

I couldn’t help thinking that if he’s causing this kind of trouble already, it is only a matter of time before someone around here loses it on this douche and swings at him. Then even though the cunt deserves to eat his own teeth at least, some poor guy will end up with his life ruined or worse. All because officer douche has a badge and likes to wag his dick beater.

Then, opportunity arrived right at his doorstep.

Feeling as though there was nothing more I could do, I went about my business as usual the next couple days. Then, guess who came through my door to schedule with me for their recertification!? He didn’t know me from Adam, and just swaggered about like he owned the place and crabbed about this “being a waste of his time” and a “bunch of bureaucratic bulls*%t”.

I had a real Kodak moment when I reminded him of our last interaction! He tried to excuse it as just being “by the book” and claimed that his “hands were tied” when it came to the citation and he only acted that way because I had a firearm and he “was nervous about that gun so he needed to assert his authority over the situation”.

By now, I had had a large portion of the people that live in my area come though for training and most of them carried daily. He just confirmed my fears for me, and I was going to do what only I could to lay those fears to rest.

The officer in question then proved, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he was dangerous on a whole other level.

Que /prorevenge mode!

Already forming a plan, I told him that I understood completely, and that I “operate that way as well.” Not even processing how that could affect him, the dips*%t seemed glad to hear that and we sat down to get his paperwork started. The whole time we are doing this he is bragging and talking about how good a shot he is and that he “looks forward to the day someone wants to f**k around and find out” with him. (Hearing the was he thinks made me both sick and angry. Yes, I carry a gun for self defense, but I hope that I never have to use it. I spent years learning other techniques to lessen that chance after having to draw it once, and built a career teaching others what I have learned.)

After getting all the paperwork sorted and scheduling a time and date, he asked if he could use my range to get some practice shots in. I even waved my range fee just to see this POS shoot. After going over the range rules, I ran him out at target at 10 yards and signaled the lane hot. He fired all 17 rounds out of his mag at a RAPID pace and only manage to hit 5 on the target, only one of which was center mass!

He repeated this FOUR more times at varying distances and his best score ended up being at 5 yards out with only 10 shots on target of which 4 were center mass. I suggested he slow up his cadence a bit and asked if he wanted my advice. He told me he’s “forgot more than I ever knew and to shut my mouth”, so I did. Then he proceeded to run it out to 10 yards and shoot one at a time at a slow pace I usually only see from first timers and didn’t get a SINGLE hit center mass!

After seeing the 13 year old girl a few lanes down from him load up and absolutely DRILL headshots at 15 yards with my range-master instructing her, he made some excuse about needing his sights adjusted, then packed up and the brainless dude left thinking we were all buddy-buddy a few minuets later.

OP gave us a rundown of how he runs the re-certifications for law enforcement officers and what he expects from the local cops and others he trains.

The state certifications are a bit simple, so when I started doing this I met with local union lawyers, training officers and some reps for our area and we came up with a standard that surpasses the minimum state requirements, which they in turn used to negotiate better benefits, so everyone wins!

The standards we decided on not only test for accuracy, but also introduces a bit of real world problems that the officers have to contend with. The first is done in full duty gear with both hands on the gun at 10 yards. After running 25 yards, within two minutes, you have to be able to draw your gun from crouched cover, fire ten rounds, reload a magazine loaded by me with a false round randomly placed in it to cause a “malfunction”, clear that malfunction and get 10 more rounds on target from standing cover.

The second is the same drill in reverse, but done with only one hand on the gun and in under three minutes. In both of these drills 15 of the 20 shots must be within the #8 ring of the target and all rounds must hit the target. And the third is a dot torture drill that must be cleared at 90% within 10 minutes and you have 3 attempts at it.

It doesn’t sound too tough if you are an avid shooter, but trust me, under pressure, with your job in the balance, it can be rough.

He also explains why these tests are important, and how it can affect their careers, and also he’s usually nice and lenient with guys who are legitimately trying.

But we’re not going to do that here, obviously.

See, the policy around here is that the County pays for your first test and if an officer fails to re-certify then they either choose two weeks unpaid leave or sit at the office and do paperwork at reduced pay for two weeks then they have to pay out of pocket to try again. Of course, it is encouraged that they come to me for help, but being that I am not a charity some choose to practice on their own, which is fine.

If they fail a second time, the Sheriff can cut them loose without any issues from the union and the officer has to wait one year to even be considered for rehire or relocate to a different area that doesn’t have these standards or the Sheriff orders them to come to my training, and I work with them until we KNOW they will pass.

After that second failure, the officers job lies entirely in the hands of their boss. Being that these tests are a bit tasking for most shooters, and even though I log WAY more range time than any officer I know (helps when you own the range) and can still occasionally fail the dot torture drill, I will show mercy for most of them if they seem like a decent person who is just out of practice or nervous and not be an ass when it come to scoring if they are close to a failing score. (Counting line breaks as hits when I don’t have too, “forgetting” to hit the stopwatch button if their cadence is just a second or two slow).

I decided the moment he signed the papers that there would be no such mercy for this douche nozzle!

I fully expected for him to burn though ammo practicing at home after his last performance, and while I doubted anything was actually wrong with his sights I wasn’t willing to risk being wrong there when I had such a golden opportunity to do some true community service! I even bought a new set of digital calipers deciding that if he was so much as one tenth of an inch off on any shot placements at the line, I would mark them as a miss and prove I was just going “by the book”.

My mind was made up that since I couldn’t get this guy off the force completely, I would go “by the book” and at least get him off of any that were close to the people around me and he would have to preform like an absolute pro to avoid it.

The guy showed up to his test totally unprepared and acting like a jerk (again) and so OP felt justified in his righteous revenge plans.

The day finally comes where he is to test and he shows up wearing shorts and a TapOut tee shirt with only his gun and duty belt emptied of everything else. No vest, no range bag, no radio, no eye or ear protection, no cuffs, OC spray or Taser. Not a dang thing that he knew he was supposed to have. After pointing these issue out, he huffs and says “I brought everything that is important, let’s just get this s*%t over with.”

Mind you, I could have failed him right then and there for noncompliance. I had a copy of his signature on the paperwork stating he owned all required gear and would bring it with him for the test, and that he would be dressed to listed standards on testing day. But that just wouldn’t have been satisfying enough for me. I wanted to make absolutely sure that anyone who looked into it would see that he himself was the failure.

That this loud-mouthed bolstering jerk wasn’t fit to the standards of his peers and his mother should have swallowed him 25 years ago and done society a favor. Not that he failed due to circumstantial or bureaucratic bullshit beyond his control. I let the clothing slide and loaned him some rental safety gear, which he bitched about wearing but eventually put on. After getting it all sorted, and noting all this in his chart, I let him take his test, and damnit am I glad that I did!

And oh, he had a glorious reward for his patience and planning, my friends.

If he hadn’t made me see him for the feted piece of crap he is, I would have felt sad for him. As it stands, I worried I may develop muscle issues from holding back my grin! He failed the first test immediately due to sheer ineptitude! When the buzzer sounded, first he tripped over his own feet and ate the ground face first. Full scorpion! Then after getting up and continuing while drawing from crouch, he somehow managed to catch his front sight or barrel on his holster opening and sent his gun tumbling through the dirt, then fell over when he tried to lean over to get it. Losing control of the firearm is an instant test stop, so I sounded the buzzer.

Holding back laughter (and putting on my plate carrier instead of just a level 3 vest incase the fool fired a random round my way), I gave him a second chance even though I already had what I needed. (mostly because I wanted to have irrefutable proof he failed on his skills and not on accidental circumstances). While he managed to keep hold of it this time, he struggled to clear the misfire costing him too much time for his slow cadence earlier and only two shots were in the #8 and four completely missed the target!

For the first time ever for me someone had failed the first test on all three metrics! I have had people come to me for the first time they held a gun or with a legitimate fear of guns who could out preform this arrogant pos! After listening to him try to make excuses, crab, demand and then beg for me to give him another chance, I told him that I couldn’t and he failed. That my report was getting sent in and he would have to talk to his training officer and we could go from there.

Then, my friends, a fight ensued.

He EXPLODED in anger and started calling me anything he could think of. Claiming I was only doing this because of the ticket he gave me (part of why I wanted so much proof). And cursing me in some honestly creative ways while slamming his fist into my wall like a petulant tween and telling me that he was going to “make sure you all regret this” while pointing at me and my staff in the other room.

By now a couple of my regulars, my rangemaster and the local brass goblin have all made it over to watch though the window and listen to the exchange. Knowing I have him on camera with audio punching a hole in my wall, and I have witnesses, a new thought came to me when I heard him say this. And I decided to steer him just the way I wanted him to go.

All I had to do was ask if what he said was a threat, and the dips*%t responded with “you bet your f**king a$$ it is!” and, to my surprise, reached out to give me a shove! I side-stepped him and he stumbled past which pissed him off even further. I told him then and there to “get the f**k off my property and that he wasn’t welcome back.” I looked this sack of s*%t straight in the eye and informed him that he “just sealed his fate since now he would have to BEG to be sent to the other facility and I would make certain my report recommended he never work as an officer again, and should they ignore my advice I would be raising my prices to better reflect the training they get here.”

He then decided to spit at me and swing a punch this time! Not one to miss an opportunity, and easily outweighing him by 50-60lbs, I raised my guard and the moment his arm made contact with my mine I used his momentum and my muscle to send him over my shoulder and directly into the ground with all I could muster! I channeled my ancestors and the ancient gods of their homeland into that throw fully intending to leave a Wile E. Coyote-esque crater in my floor.

Rolling him to his back and sitting atop him in full mount position I watched a wanna-be badass try to remember how to breathe after meeting the ground that hard and immediately cry like a bitch beg for his life when he looked past me to see my rangemaster (310lb 6’6″ tatted-up retired Marine turned bodybuilder) with our less-lethal training shotgun (the gun is BRIGHT green, kinda unmistakable as less-lethal) in one hand leveled to officer bitch-mades head and his phone in the other already talking to the kid’s boss.

Apparently, my rangemaster had been watching everything from his office on the security feed and when Officer Douche started punching the walls my boy immediately picked up the phone and called the sheriff grabbing the shotgun on his way out the door to us.

When all was said and done, I got to watch him get hauled off my property by his boss, in cuffs and read his rights since, yes, I will be pressing charges. He assaulted me, threatened me and my employees, and damaged my property. And I had all the evidence I need to prove it!

Not only did OP win the day, he found out that he’d hired the right man to have his back, too.

Later, when I asked my rangemaster why he had brought the gun into play, since the guy wasn’t really a threat he reluctantly told me he had brought it for me! Apparently, in all the time we had known each other, he had never seen me actually come unglued like that.

He said, “Boss, you are the kindest and quietest man I know. And in my experience when a man like you gets that angry even the devil himself would piss his pants to get away.” He admitted that his plan was to nail me with a beanbag or two if he needed and try to turn my attention to him!

Not going to lie, I wasn’t happy to know I had made my friend feel that way, but it did feel good in an odd way to have a certified bad-ass feel like he needed that tool to stand against me. I gave the man a raise for his honesty, and willingness to protect others, no matter the cost to himself. After all, that’s a rare quality anymore, and it should be rewarded.

And to this day I refuse to spar with him because I never want him to 100% know he could take me without it!

It’s not a totally happy ending, but it’s probably the best we can expect these days.

Despite all the evidence and testimony against him, Officer Douche ended up getting a pretty good plea deal, but he will never be able to be a police officer or legally own a firearm again, so I consider it a win. His wife filed for divorce for domestic violence while he was awaiting his court date and thankfully they had no children together so it was granted without issue and he has no rights to see her son.

He moved away immediately after his hearing, and last I had heard, he makes minimum wage working at a gas station somewhere up north.

What do you think? Did he go overboard? Do you think there’s ever a reason for grown men to fight?

Sound off in the comments!

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Managers, You Should Be Careful Before You Send An Employee Home For a “Proper” Shave

A lot of companies that have public-facing or sanitary components also have rules and expectations regarding personal grooming habits. When you sign up to work there, you sign up for pressing your clothes or keeping your hair a certain length et al.

McDonald’s, apparently, likes you to have a neat face.

This kid showed up to work in the kitchen with just a bit of a five o’clock shadow. He was twenty and doesn’t believe it could have been offensive, but anyway his manager asked him to clock out and go home for a “proper” shave.

Another story from years ago at McDonald’s.

I turn up to my shift and am told a few minutes after clocking in that I don’t look presentable.

I worked kitchen and I was about 20 at the time, so after a couple of days of not shaving it could have been a “5pm stub” at most.

I’m told to go home and shave properly for my shift.

He took the manager’s words to heart, staying home long enough for a shower and a shave with the works – his face was perfectly hair-free when he returned (an hour later).

I go. I lived 5 minutes away.

I get in the shower, get a hot towel, shave carefully, I dry it off, put the hot towel on, apply the whole treatment – aftershave, lotion, etc make sure it’s perfect.

I turn up to work about an hour later.

His manager really didn’t have much to say, since having an argument about what was meant by a “proper” shave really wouldn’t have benefitted anyone (and presumably there were Big Macs to be made).

“Where have you been? What took you so long?”

“You told me to go back home and get a proper shave. I hope that’s better. ”

O_O

If you’re curious, no. McDonald’s doesn’t have an official dress code policy.

Dress Code – There was no policy in place that required a clean shave.

It would have meant discriminating against the Muslim employees who for religious reasons often grow long beards, or they would have to treat other employees to a different standard.

The policy was that if your facial hair is long enough you may have to wear hairnets which a lot of the other guys wore at work, but I wasn’t offered that solution, because screw me in particular.

It also helps that this kid was only 20 and didn’t really need the cash for the hour’s pay, and a bonus eff you that the manager had to man his station while he was gone.

Was I still on the clock? – No. I was told to clock out, go home and shave, so I did. The way I see it is I lost an hour at minimum wage, which amounted to about £3.33 after tax since I was under 21, so I lost about a beer’s worth of wages.

It being McDonalds they never schedule more than enough people, more likely just short of enough, so at his own wish my manager had to prep and cover my station for the hour while I was having the shower and shave I probably had to skip in the morning to get to work on time – again at his own wish. As you can imagine, the satisfaction was well worth the “tree fiddy”.

I did not protest, I did not plead for him to give me a hairnet.

I probably didn’t want to go to work to begin with, just had to, because bills.

I probably wished I could just call in sick, so when the manager authorised me to f**k off home for a bit more the guy was doing me a favor.

Ah, to be young and carefree again, right?

I miss being 20. Those were the days.

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Was This Man a Jerk to Put His Nanny (and Not His Wife) on a Family Membership?

Family dynamics are really tough and not something we can really comment on from the outside most of the time. Families not only look different than they used to, they function differently, too, with both parents working or the woman becoming the breadwinner, etc.

The people of Reddit being asked to weigh in on these situations aren’t the only ones still figuring out how to navigate things, either – so are the spouses and partners living it every day.

In this family, the wife has more responsibility at work and works more demanding hours, leaving the childcare to the father and the nanny most days.

I’m a father of 2 kids. Wife and I both work. She works considerably more than I do with less flexibility. She also has a ton of responsibility at her job where even if it’s her time off, if s*%t goes down, she has to handle it.

When the father took his two kids to a museum, he realized it would be cheaper to buy a membership than to just pay the admission fee a few different times.

Since the family membership included two adults and two children, he listed his kids, himself, and his nanny, since they would be the four people most likely to check out the exhibit.

So a few weeks ago I took my kids to a local museum that they LOVED so I joined for a membership. The membership is good for 4 people, you can add extras but it costs more. I just did the 4 but instead of adding my wife as the other adult, I added our nanny. 9/10 it’s either me or our nanny taking the kids somewhere so it made sense.

When his wife found out she was angry, and thought him choosing the nanny over her for the membership really said something about his feelings for her.

My wife discovered it after looking on our account because the kids and nanny are going today so she wanted confirm the membership was good. It hurt her feelings and I suppose she chose to take it out on me with anger.

She didn’t like my answer for why I did it and kept saying it “says a lot” that I just put our nanny in the “mom slot” instead of paying the extra $15 for her to be in there, too.

Now he’s wondering whether or not he was inconsiderate, and of course Reddit has thoughts.

This person wanted to give the dad the benefit of the doubt, because a) there is no “mom slot” and b) he was just trying to be practical.

That said, the parents really need to have a chat, because no one’s feelings should be hurt over saving a couple of bucks.

Image Credit: Reddit

There were several that concluded there are NAH (No A$$holes Here) because he was trying to be frugal but she’s also allowed to have her feelings on the matter.

Image Credit: Reddit

Others thought the wife was right, and the guy is a jerk for listing his nanny as part of his family.

Image Credit: Reddit

While others definitely think the wife is being too sensitive. (2)

Image Credit: Reddit

Just because the wife is hurt doesn’t necessarily mean the husband is the a$$hole. There are other options.

Image Credit: Reddit

I have to agree that no one is wrong here. The wife has the right to feel stung over the perceived slight, but that doesn’t mean the husband was wrong.

It probably just means they need to have a chat about the whole thing.

Tell us your thoughts down in the comments!

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When You Treat Your Employees Badly, They Repay It In Kind

If we lived in a perfect world, employers would treat their employees like human beings whose live and health outside of the workplace matter as much as what goes on in the office. In that world, employees would work hard for you because they feel respected and valued, so everyone wins.

In reality, too many employers treat their people like cattle and not humans, and in turn, their employees cut corners and stay home whenever they can.

This scenario illustrates that point, because when this person wanted to take a few of their vacation days that were about to expire, only 1 – in the middle of the week – was approved.

My vacation leave credits expire next month, so I requested 5 days off hoping to go home to my family and get some rest. Only 1 them got approved, and it’s in the middle of the week. Reasoning being that we’re short-staffed, as usual.

It just so happened that same week they had an arthritis flare-up, but when they called in to let them know they were sick, their employer therefore canceled their one day of vacation.

I suddenly had a very bad flare up of arthritis in the beginning of last week. I could barely sit up, and walking up the stairs to get to my workstation (I work at home) is out of the question. So I took a day off, and my boss said okay, that’s fine, but we’re going to have to cancel your vacation leave, since you’re going to rest anyway.

When OP ended up in the hospital with their intense pain and received a note to stay home for 5 days to recover, they took every last one of them, even when they felt much better before then.

It’s not like I had any rest when I was writhing on my bed in pain. Spite empowered me and I managed to get to a hospital with the last of my strength (and my boyfriend’s help) to get my fluids drained. I felt a lot better, but I was in so much pain in the beginning that my doctor seemed to take pity on me and gave me 5 days rest, and he told me to just contact him if I need more.

I was only planning to rest it out for a day or two more, but I ended up having a whole week (or more if I feel like it) to myself feeling much better. I was even able to go home. The best thing is that it’s all paid since I also have plenty of sick leave credits left and there’s nothing they can do about that.

This is what you get when you treat people like crap, employers – pay attention!

Would you have done the same thing? Or would you have sucked it up and gone back to work the minute you were feeling well?

Tell us which and why in the comments!

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