I think it’s safe to assume that you are STARVING.
No, not starving for actual food! I’m talking about tweets, friends!
Because, believe it or not, they are good for the soul and the really good ones will NOURISH you. It’s all true.
And if you want to do a little experiment, dive into the tweets below and just try to tell me that they didn’t satisfy you 100%…go ahead, I’ll wait…
Let’s take a look.
1. That was a good move.
More people should be doing this with their pets.
I wrapped my cat in aluminum foil so government spy satellites cannot monitor when I kiss him on the lips pic.twitter.com/Fl6l6Zegu6
— Dr. Pumpkin Spiceotope (@BuckyIsotope) August 10, 2017
2. You’re in luck!
And you don’t really have any choice in the matter.
So my wife doesn’t like the new shampoo she bought. I’ll give you two guesses who’s gonna be smelling like cucumber melon for the next five weeks.
— Indy
(@IndecisiveJones) June 25, 2020
3. I’ve never heard that one before.
But, there’s a first time for everything!
your honor my client would like to plead oopsie daisies
— nicky the soup shark (@mostlysharks) June 27, 2020
4. You did the right thing.
I would’ve followed the same plan of action.
my son needs help with his algebra homework so i snuck out the back door and started a new life in costa rica
— kim (@KimmyMonte) October 15, 2018
5. He already knew.
This guy is a real know-it-all.
Nostradamus: yes
Cop: know why I pulled you over?
— Ygrene (known liker of beans) (@Ygrene) October 12, 2018
6. I wonder if this works…
I guess it’s worth a shot, right?
date: so, tell me about yourself
me: *remembering women like a little mystery* no
— Kellen (@captainkalvis) October 17, 2018
7. Seriously. You didn’t know this?
Get with the times!
Um, they prefer the term "goth" pic.twitter.com/YlKPOihjZv
— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) February 6, 2018
8. There are a lot of shoes along the highway…
Have you ever noticed that before?
Whenever I’m tired of a shoe, I just get on the highway and chuck it out the window like everyone else.
— g a v i n (@gavinmind) April 5, 2018
9. No, that’s just how he really looked.
Wow! Really?
I fall and drown in the lake. They pull out my body. "It's so bloated and grotesque" says one. "He only fell in a minute ago" says another
— john (@mrjohndarby) October 22, 2017
10. I can’t believe he fired her.
Seems totally reasonable to me.
She was on a break https://t.co/W3sihPUWFF
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 20, 2019
11. Sounds good in theory, I guess.
In practice? Not so much…
Me to my friends: do not settle, be brave, ask for what you want!!!
Me as the waitress brings out the wrong order: looks perfect
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 17, 2019
12. These names are out of control.
And I don’t think we should stand for it anymore.
these names can’t be real pic.twitter.com/EiGGR2dNHY
— -_- (@imnotbecca) August 11, 2019
13. Yeah, I’ve noticed that, too.
It seemed so easy!
young adult novels really oversold how easy it would be for 5-10 people to topple a fascist regime
— i bless the rains down in castamere (@Chinchillazllla) August 21, 2019
How about you?
What have you seen on social media lately that made you laugh?
Well, don’t keep it to yourself! Share all the good stuff with us in the comments.
Thanks!
The post Tasty Tweets to Satisfy Your Appetite appeared first on UberFacts.