We all try our best to be courteous and not rude—well… most of us do—because, everyone wants to make a good impression in any given situation.
It’s especially important to want to be as respectful as possible when visiting other places, like stranger’s homes and other countries.
But what works in one place may be taboo in another. That’s why we have to keep up on the definition of our gestures in life.
As it turns out, one size, does NOT fit all.
Redditor HeWhoMustBeGay wanted to discuss all the major differences in communication that differ from one country or region to the next.
They asked:
“What’s a friendly gesture in one country but a big no-no in another?”
Let’s make a list so we’re safe for travel.
Touch a touch a touch a… touch me…
“In Brazil we are very pro-hugs even with strangers depending on the situation. Like tight hugs.”
“We have no problems about touching as in the shoulder or arm while talking, or side hugging to take pictures with strangers. We also have the kissing thing (not between men though).”
“We share our life’s story and feelings with strangers pretty easily. Waiting-in-a-line-together micro friendships are a thing.”
“There are many cultures where this level of touching and sharing would be considered incredibly weird.” ~ deinha
“I had a friend who didn’t like to be touched, it was hard for him because we Brazilians also take a looooong time to say goodbye. It’s in installments.”
“Like you say once at the house, kisses, hugs. “
“Then the same people move to the door, say again, more hugs and kisses.”
“Then everyone keeps talking until they get to their cars, someone breaks the joke that it’s finally time to go and you have another hug. It was a nightmare for him.” ~ tdeinha
Which Finger Works Best?
“Thumbs up means ok in America but in Iran it has the same effect as the middle finger.” ~ Curry12734
“I’ve accidentally flipped off my Iranian relatives so much. Especially with my poor farsi making me want to use my hands more.”
“But it’s been fine. Iranians nowadays know what the middle finger and thumbs up means to the rest of the world.” ~ GNB_Mec
Head Held High
“In the west a lot of people when greeting kids, put their hand in the kids head, ruffling up their hair or something like that.”
“In Thailand the majority of the country is Buddhist and follows the beliefs so some extent. The head is held as a sacred and cleanest part of the body, even if it’s a kid so this practice is considered very offensive.”
“Luckily the Thais are a very understanding and forgiving people and would happily accept an apology for this oversight.”
“And would only hold a grudge if it came from someone who they know to be aware of this.”
“Another thing that we in the west might do without thinking is step across someone in you needed to get past.”
“For example if people were sat on the floor around a fire, or a low table, maybe just chilling on the grass with friends in the park or at a festival.”
“If you needed to get past someone you may step over their body to some degree, maybe stepping over their legs or something innocuous to us.”
“Just as the head is held in high regard, the feet are the opposite, believed to be dirty and it is very disrespectful to point your feet at someone, step over any part of their body etc.”
“A simple excuse me (koh toad khap), with a gesture in the direction you wish to pass will result in the person happily moving out of your way and appreciating your respect of their cultural beliefs.” ~ fifadex
“Are you Canadian?”
“Took a trip to Australia last summer, and I’m from the US.”
“When people heard my accent they would ask, ‘Are you Canadian?’ and after having replied no to several people, I asked why they never asked if I was from the states.”
“Apparently Canadians are insulted if you ask them if they are American, so it’s just custom to ask everyone if they are Canadian first.” ~ Lost_Ad_8970
It’s all in the eyes…
“I had a Chinese neighbor who would stare at me. And I mean STARE.”
“There was one time when he was in his front yard and I was getting in my car. I decided to stare back.”
“We just stared at each other for a good 20 seconds.”
“I lost the staring contest because it was agonizingly awkward.”
“I researched Chinese customs and found out that they apparently stare a lot and I guess it’s not really ‘friendly,’ but it’s just a normal thing in China.”
“In the US, staring is considered extremely strange and rude.”
“He didn’t speak English, so I couldn’t even tell him that he was making me and my wife uncomfortable with his constant death stare.” ~ New_Example7867
Shoes on or Off?
“Not necessarily rude but still weird/surprising.”
“In India when you meet someone who is your elder (like significantly older) you touch their feet as a gesture that you are asking for their blessings and showing respect towards them.”
“I think there is a video of an Indian student who touched the feet of his American Principal on his graduation and left him confused.” ~ Radiant_Ad5640
Service Standards
“Although tipping is obligatory in the US, but I also heard that in some countries like Japan and China tipping often makes them feel inferior.” ~ Qrainix_
“I tipped a bar tender in Scotland because he was really friendly and sweet, but he got really embarrassed afterward and kind of shut down.”
“Learned that lesson the hard way.” ~ International-Pen518
Keep it Chatty
“In America, people talk to strangers on regular basis, do small talk, ask how the other person is doing, etc.”
“In my country if you ask a stranger how is he doing it will be really weird and awkward for the person.”
“You don’t even smile or talk in general to strangers in my country.” ~ Ellenixie
Let’s all clean it up!
“My sister in law recently came to stay with me while my husband was out of town.”
“Apparently in my husband’s culture it is a sign of gratitude for guests to help clean around the house and help with cooking.”
“Meanwhile in my American culture having a guest over means busting my butt to clean the house to the point of being spotless, and making sure there is a ton of snacks, and food available before the guest gets there.”
“First morning she got up like an hour before me and swept the whole house and even brushed the cat hair off the cat tree.”
“She also would not let me help cook dinner lol.”
“It made me uncomfortable at first and I tried to tell her that she didn’t need to do all that (nicely not in a rude way), but she was very insistent on wanting to help out so I just let her.”
“Apparently it was making her uncomfortable sitting around while she was here lol.”
“Definitely a conflict of cultural norms there lol.” ~ Eened
The Decor is LIT!
“I read once that in some cultures, if you’re a guest in someone’s home, it would be bad form to compliment a household item or decoration, because they will then be obligated to offer it to you as a gift.”
“I can’t remember which countries they cited where this was a thing.” ~ ashfordbelle
So are we more clear on a few things?
Culture varies from place to place and so does verbal and nonverbal communication.
So try to be cognizant of what societal changes you’re entering into and never be afraid to apologize or ask a question.