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10 Cooking Hacks That Are as Useful as They Are Unusual

I’m a huge cooking enthusiast, so naturally, I’m always on the lookout for awesome new tips to up my game in the kitchen. Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of cooking hacks – some great, some terrible. This list from BuzzFeed is definitely full of some of the best ones!

1. Roast your white chocolate.

If you’re into baking, try roasting your white chocolate on a sheet pan in the oven. It turns golden and nutty.

2. Use your slow cooker as a sous vide machine.

Sous vide cooking has been all the rage amongst foodies for pretty much ever. If you’re handy and have a bit of time on your hands, you can hack your slow cooker to behave like a sous vide machine to save money on equipment.

3. Cure your egg yolks.

Photo Credit: Bon Appetit

If you want to seriously impress your next brunch guests, bury some egg yolks in a mixture of salt and sugar for a few days and then put them into the oven to dry out. The yolks become cured and firm, and you can grate them on top of other dishes.

4. Make your own cheese sauce.

Cheese sauce solves all problems. You can make your own at home with just water, cheese, and sodium citrate (a type of salt that you can buy online). Easy-peasy.

5. Cook your pasta in red wine.

Pasta and red wine go together perfectly, and apparently, you can cook them together too. Cook pasta in red wine rather than water to add flavor and color.

6. Roast your pasta before you cook it.

Photo Credit: Food 52

Whaaa?! Yes. Roasting makes the pasta nuttier and browner and adds a unique flavor. You must roast the pasta while it’s still dry for this to work.

7. Make vegan meringue with chickpea water.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

An episode of The Great British Bake-Off will confirm that this trick does, in fact, work. It’s also known as “aquafaba.” The liquid from a can of chickpeas can be whipped into meringue in place of egg whites.

8. Make instant potato chips in the microwave.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Ever too lazy to buy a bag of potato chips, but really need to eat some potato chips right that moment? If you have some potatoes on hand you can make potato chips in the microwave in a couple minutes.

Game-changer.

9. Use mayonnaise as a non-stick layer.

Coat your meat or fish with mayonnaise before you put it onto the grill, and it will prevent the food from sticking and help it cook more evenly.

10. “Ripen” your cookie dough first.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The secret to the perfect cookies is… letting the dough sit for several days before baking it. This reportedly improves the texture.

Yum!

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15 People Talk About the Mistake That Nearly Killed Them

Have you ever had a close call with death? A situation that you shouldn’t have been in at all, and were lucky to get out of. I was in a pretty bad van accident when I was younger, and it was definitely a moment that made me take stock of my fleeting mortality.

AskReddit users opened up and shared their personal stories about big mistakes that almost cost them their lives.

1. Electric shock

“Many years ago I owned a pub.

I went upstairs to the house area to find all the lights were off. I flicked the trip switches to turn the lights back on; which they did. I then heard running water from my co owners fishtank in the lounge, turns out the protein skimmer had flipped over and was spilling water over the wall socket.

Instincively (and very stupidly) went to turn off the plug and as soon as i touched it got sent flying over the back of the sofa.

Dont know how im still alive to this day.”

2. Not very bright

“As teenagers we used to smoke pot in the garage in the car with it running for hours. No idea how we didn’t kill everyone in the house multiple times over.”

3. Dear old Dad

“My dad got trashed and tried to jump over the fence at Yankee Stadium with his friends. He failed and an iron spike punctured him. He remembers being rushed to the hospital and bleeding everywhere. Everyone thought he was going to die of blood loss. Didn’t die but he also made several more stupid mistakes such as riding a motorcycle without a helmet and breaking several ribs etc etc. Honestly he is still stupid and I’m surprised he hasn’t died yet.”

4. Iraq

“Driving over an IED in Iraq that’s battery had gone bad in the heat. If the battery was live i wouldn’t be.

Edit: a lot of people are wondering how i knew that it was there when it didn’t go off, so here is the answer to that.

I was in a rural area. I didn’t see some disturbed dirt in the dirt road that we were driving on, but my lieutenant in the passenger seat almost shit his pants because his life flashed before his eyes. He literally curled into a ball in his seat. I asked him what was up. And he said he was sure that there was something back there. We were currently escorting troop carriers to drop off a foot patrol in the middle of nowhere, so after we completed our drop off we went back on his order to check out the spot. My truck was the only one with an RF jammer, so i took the lead up to the spot my lieutenant had seen. When i say it i thought to myself, “Holy fuck, how did i not see that?” I was the “demo” guy since we didn’t have enough EOD in the area, so i went up to it, saw the pressure plate and wires. Dug it up and there is was. A battery with the battery acid all leaked out. They didn’t bury it deep enough, and it was the middle of summer.

About 130f out. Not good for the battery. Under the battery and pressure plate was a box, about the size of a footlocker filled with explosives and accelerant. If it had gone off my whole truck would have been dust. We had to do a controlled demo since EOD was busy, and after we took it out half the road had a 5 foot deep crater in it.”

5. Close call

“Pissing off a cliff, wasted on Jack Daniels. My girlfriend at the time pulled me back by my sweatshirt, or that would’ve been it.”

6. Swept away

“Climbed onto one of those underpasses that allow river water to flow through when I was like, 5. Got swept in the current and taken down the river. Only reason I survived is my dad saw my long hair barely under the current and jumped in to save me.”

7. Be careful with the laundry chute

“Playing with the laundry chute in my childhood home when I was around 5 years old. My cousins and I took turns dropping things down the chute while someone else stood at the bottom and dodged them. For the most part it was things like washcloths, stuffed animals, a clothing item, etc.

Just so happened that when I stood under the chute, my cousin dropped a 5 lb dumbbell down and I, expecting something harmless, didn’t get out of the way. That ended the game real quick. I now part my hair in a way that hides the bald spot scar on my head.”

8. Actually died

“I fell down my friends basement stairs when I was 8 (hit my head on the concrete floor) and ended up being airlifted to a major city hospital after being knocked out and still screaming. Ended waking up a couple days later and found out I was missing a tooth and I was told that as they were putting a breathing tube in, it knocked my tooth down my throat which scared the docs more. But I was super happy cause I payed melee for the first time in the game room and ate jellow for meals.

Turns out that I was actually in a comatose state and gradually got worse over 48 hours until I had 0 brain activity for about 6 minutes. So I guess I did die but I didn’t find out from my family till afterwards, because who tells an 8 yr old that they died.”

9. Big mistake

“3 years old. Love M&Ms. Find blue ones behind stove. Yum.

Rat poison.”

10. Toilet accident

“Carrying a toilet by myself after having painted the bathroom. Got caught up in the drop cloth and fell on the toilet smashing it and a piece of the porcelain cut into my knee. My father was there with me and immediately took me to the hospital as the bleeding was pretty decent.

The doctor told me that the piece missed an artery by 1/4” and that if I had been a smaller man I’d have bled out before I made it to the hospital. Being a very large man (6’2” and 350lbs at the time) saved my life.”

11. Joe vs. The Volcano

“I nearly fell into a f*cking volcano leaning on a rope fence

Edit: Holy sh*t this comment blew up. Right, more context, I was 8-9 at the time, and I managed to catch myself on that same fence after I nearly keeled over it (I never let go of stuff when I fall). This was in Italy, hence the lack of actual safety procedures.”

12. Skateboarding accident

“This was 13 years ago. I was skateboarding with some buddies at a busy shopping center. A few minutes before leaving, we were waiting at a crosswalk to cross the street. One of my friends takes off running across the crosswalk, and my other buddies follow suit. So I took off as well. I was not even paying attention to the light, but the lane crossing the crosswalk was on a green light.

My two friends in front were in the clear, but myself and one of my other friends were both hit by a Uhaul truck (yes really, trust me I got shit for YEARS about getting hit by a huge, bright orange truck) going probably 40-45mph. My friend in front of me didn’t get hit too bad. I got hit square in the chest. I had no clue at the time what even had happened. I was running, then I was on the ground in a daze, no pain, and I even got up and instinctually ran back to the sidewalk that I had come from. No clue I’d been hit by a truck, I was more just like what in the fuck just happened.

A nurse that was at the light came and helped me, told me what had happened and helped me stay calm. She asked if I was having trouble breathing. I was. But it was attributed to me having asthma. Later found out it was because both of my lungs were punctured.

Anyways, the ambulance shows up. I’m holding up very well, no clue why. Kinda just thinking okay damn I must have gotten super lucky. I’m conscious, talking fine, no biggie. They only had one bed in the ambulance, so my buddy was lying on it, and I was sitting hunched over on the bench for the ride (I wish I was joking). We get to the hospital, and I try to pull myself up to get out of the ambulance.

And I can’t, my shoulders hurt way too bad. The EMS guys tell me I probably dislocated my shoulder and that I’ll just have to get it popped in and before I know it I’ll be back home. Once inside, WE GET PUT IN THE WAITING ROOM. No I am not joking. We had skateboards with us, and the desk people had no clue. They assumed we just fell on our skateboards or something.

So I’m still feeling pretty good, other than some sore shoulders, just chilling there watching wheel of fortune. When all of a sudden I start feeling super clammy and disorientied. I remember hearing my mom screaming “HE’S GOING INTO SHOCK”, and then next thing I know I’m being wheeled down a bunch of hallways. It was like in shows where it’s a blur of those florescent lights just flashing overhead one at a time.

I start having severe pain. Like the worst pain you could imagine. But I can’t be given an painkillers yet, because I have to go through a bunch of tests first. I’d assume these tests should have been done right when I got there, but what do I know. The one I really remember is having to be picked up off of the bed and put onto one of the machines that required I be on my back. They had people grab each corner of the sheet from the bed that I was on to move me onto it. I remember it kind of squishing my shoulders inward a bit and holy shiiiiiiiiit that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

Anyways, after a ton of tests, it’s found out that both of my lungs are punctured. Both of my collar bones are snapped in half. Broken ribs. Cracked sternum. Concussion. The works. Ended up spending the next couple weeks in ICU.

They didn’t have any hospital beds open for me at the time so I actually ended up being transferred to a children’s hospital. It was fucking sweet. People came and sang to me and brought me teddy bears n shit. And I was just jacked up on morphine watching Lord of Rings all the time.

But yeah it was a pretty tough recovery, and I went from just hanging out with a smile on my face to a scary place real quick. I went to a world-renowned clavicle specialist at Duke Medical for my collar bones. He normally had an insanely long wait list, but apparently when he found out that I broke both at the same time he was willing to see me ASAP.

He told me that he’d only ever had a few patients that broke both at the same time, because the force required to do so almost always resulted in death. But eventually I got better, full recovery. Was a bit of a hypochondriac for a while, and was scared to cross the street for awhile. But other than that, no biggie.”

13. Always wear a helmet

“Not wearing a helmet while on a bicycle and stupidly turning left just as a car overtook me.

Somehow I only got a neat scar through my eyebrow and some torn up kneecaps from it. But the look on my mother’s face when she picked me up from the hospital…That made me realise how profoundly stupid I was that day.

Edit: I did make a turn signal with my arm, but the driver apparently didn’t see it. He later went over to the hospital to ask if I was OK and to apologise for hitting me.”

14. Tangled up

“Tubing behind a speedboat. Pulled myself too far forward. It submarined and popped up in the air. I was flung forward and got tangled in the towrope.”

15. The garage door

“Retensioning a garage door spring and the tension tool popped out. The door crashed with enough force to crack the pavement.

Edit: had no idea so many others have died doing this. Going forward would never do this again.”

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It Turns Out Kids Who Are Obsessed with Dinosaurs Are Actually Smarter

Do you know a kid who absolutely LOVES dinosaurs? My nephew is obsessed with them, and I was the kind of kid who could describe a paleontologist’s job in great detail back in second grade.

If that describes your kids, that’s great news since a recent study found that kids who are obsessed with dinosaurs are smarter than kids who aren’t.

In the psychology world, this phenomenon is called “intense interests.” Roughly one-third of kids develop an intense interest in their lives but for most the obsession usually fades after the age of six.

Photo Credit: Flickr,Mike Mozart

A study from the University of Indiana and the University of Wisconsin found that an intense interest can “enhance perseverance, improve attention and enhance skills of complex thinking as the processing of information”, especially when the interest demands a conceptual domain.

Intense interests have also been shown to improve linguistic skills and are a good indicator of higher understanding. It’s also been shown that the way children study dinosaurs helps them develop strategies to tackle problems throughout their lives.

Interestingly, kids’ intense interest in dinosaurs develops in the first year of life without encouragement from their parents. As mentioned earlier, most of these obsessions pass and only 20% of kids still have the intense interest when they enter school.

Researchers believe that once kids start school and have to devote time to learning new things, they lose their free time to explore their interests. It is suggested that in order to keep your child’s interest alive as they grow up, parents should teach their kids facts about the subject as opposed to letting them have “pretend adventures.”

Make sure those kids keep learning on their own after they start school, and remember, if your child is obsessed with T-Rex, that’s a good thing!

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10+ Words Most Americans Aren’t Pronouncing Properly

We know we’re not perfect, but if you want to pronounce foreign words and brands correctly, scroll through this list – I know I’ve been saying most of these 12 wrong for a while!

#1. Bayer

Image Credit: Bayer

It’s a German label from a German company, and in Germany they would say it BUY-er. That said, BAY-er is probably going to serve you best here in the USA, since no one would have a clue what you were talking about otherwise.

#2. Adidas

Image Credit: Adidas

No, the name of this German shoe brand doesn’t stand for “All Day I Dream About Sex,” and it’s also not pronounced uh-DEE-duhs, either. It’s AH-dee-DAHS, named for founder Aldoph “Adi” Dassler.

#3. Bokeh

Image Credit: HD Wallpaper

It’s been put into common English use because of the photo apps that use it as an effect, but the recent iPhone ad promoting their Depth Control feature is pronouncing the word wrong.

It’s not BOH-KUH but boh-KAY. Yeah, like the bunch of flowers.

#4. Moschino

Image Credit: Moschino

The letter C is confusing in Italian (in Latin, there are only hard C’s, fun fact), so while most people say mo-SHEE-no or moss-CHEE-no, the correct way it to substitute a hard K sound for the ch – mo-SKI-no.

#5. Ellevest

Image Credit: Ellevest

The female-centric investment firm isn’t pronounced EL-VEST but EL-uh-vest, according to founder Sallie Krawcheck.

#6. Ralph Lauren

Image Credit: Ralph Lauren

For anyone who didn’t watch Friends, this French brand is pronounced Ralph LO-ren, not Ralph Lo-REN.

#7. IKEA

Image Credit: IKEA

You love their cheap-but-stylish furniture and Swedish meatballs, but I have some news for you – according to Swede and LA Galaxy player Zlatan Ibrahimovic, it’s not pronounced eye-KEY-uh, but ee-KAY-uh.

Huh.

#8. Zagat

Image Credit: Zagat

The guide to all things restaurants is named after Tim and Nina Zagat, who pronounce their last name as zu-GHAT, not ZA-gut.

#9. Nutella

Image Credit: Nutella

The actual pronunciation – NUT-el-uh – makes sense, because the yummy spread is made of hazelNUTS not hazelNEWTS.

That said, for some reason Americans insist on referring to it as NEW-tell-uh.

#10. Porsche

Image Credit: Porsche

Save a German’s ears and say this one Poor-shay (and roll the R in the back of your throat) and not Porsh (with your drawl included).

#11. Hyundai

Image Credit: Hyundai

You’re probably pronouncing the car company as HUN-DYE, but in reality, the world (which comes from the Korean word for modernity) is pronounced HUN-DAY (rhymes with Sunday).

#12. Balmain

Image Credit: Balmain

French is hard, y’all, so if you want to sound smart go with Bahl-mah in stead of BALL-MAIN.

The more you know!

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8 Delightful Facts about the Late, Great Alan Rickman

Did you fall in love with Alan Rickman for his role as Snape in Harry Potter, for his iconic part in Dogma, or are you a Hans Gruber-head a la Die Hard?

No matter what your favorite Alan Rickmoment may have been, we can all agree that he was taken from this world far too soon.

At least we have the internet to give us comfort, and today that comes in the form of 8 great facts about an even greater guy.

#1. He has the “perfect male voice,” according to science.

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

In 2008, linguist Andrew Linn and sound engineer Shannon Harris analyzed voice samples from more than 50 people to determine what makes the perfect human voice  – and the answer turned out to be a mixture of Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons.

Helen Mirren’s quote following his death sums that fact – and him – up perfectly:

“Alan was a towering person, physically, mentally, and as an artist. He was utterly distinctive, with a voice that could suggest honey or a hidden stiletto blade, and the profile of a Roman Emperor.”

#2. His first career was in graphic design.

Image Credit: Universal Pictures

Rickman was interested in drama as a teenager, but after studying graphic design at Chelsea College and Royal College of Art, he and a few friends started their own graphic design business called Graphitti. After several successful years he began doing theater and then enrolled at RADA.

#3. He met his longtime partner when he was a teenager.

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

When Alan Rickman was 19 years old he met 18-year-old Rima Horton, and that was it – though they didn’t marry until 2012, they were a couple for 50 years. Rima served as Labour Party councilor on their local council for two decades and worked as an economics lecturer at Kingston University.

#4. He auditioned for Return of the Jedi.

Image Credit: Sony Pictures

It was for the part of Admiral Moff Jerjerrod, who oversaw the construction of the second Death Star. The part went to Michael Pennington.

#5. He made his feature film debut in Die Hard.

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

Sam Neill turned down the role of Hans Gruber, which turned out to be a stroke of luck for Rickman – though the fact that the casting director for the film loved him on Broadway didn’t hurt.

#6. He was supposed to star in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Image Credit: Sony Pictures

The role of Charles in Four Weddings and a Funeral was a breakthrough part for Hugh Grant, but the part was originally supposed to go to Rickman. The man pretty much owes Rickman his career.

#7. He almost turned Gruber down.

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

He was hesitant to make the leap from stage to screen, as he explained himself in an interview.

“I didn’t know anything about L.A. I didn’t know anything about the film business…I’d never made a film before, but I was extremely cheap.”

And the script?

“What the hell is this? I’m not doing an action movie.”

But after more consideration he realized it was “quite revolutionary, and quietly so.”

And the rest, as they say, is history.

#8. His first big break was on the stage.

Image Credit: Universal Pictures

He played Vicomte de Valmont in the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production of Les Liaisons Dangereuses in 1985. When he moved to Broadway in 1987, he won both Tony and Drama Desk Award nominations for the role.

Time for a rewatch…Colonel Brandon will always be too good for Marianne Dashwood.

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When Facebook and Instagram Went Down, Twitter Naturally Had Jokes About It

As just about EVERYONE is aware, we had a Facebook and Instagram blackout recently. Both networks were down for an entire day!

So, how did people deal with it? By going on Twitter to joke about it, of course!

Isn’t social media wonderful?!?!?

Here are some of the best tweets from that infamous and tragic day…

1. A team effort?

2. Oh hi, Mark

3. That is an evil laugh

4. It’s happening!

5. I’ll be here now

6. Tantrums everywhere

7. Just keep hitting refresh

8. That’s not cool, Cardi B

9. The world is on fire

10. She’s not doing well with this

11. That’s what it’s for

12. Gotta love Tommy Wiseau

13. It’s getting ugly

14. Pure hatred

15. This is crucial

How did you deal with this humanitarian crisis?

Stay strong everyone! We’ll get through the next blackout, too!

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Sorry, Parents: Your Sleep-Deprivation is Here to Stay At Least Until Your Youngest Hits Kindergarten

Everyone knows that part of being a parent is not getting nearly enough sleep. When you bring a baby into your home you can kiss your regular 8 hours of beauty rest a night goodbye.

While some may think they’ll catch up on sleep eventually like once the baby starts sleeping all night, the science is in and…that’s just not true.

In fact, the science says it will take six whole years before parents get a decent night’s sleep after having a baby.

Image Credit: Pixabay

It seems hard to believe – sure, night feedings end fairly quickly (in retrospect), but kids are sick and they have nightmares and they wake up for no apparent reason and need a drink or to come sleep in your bed. Parenting is 24/7, and we know that, but researchers were still caught a bit off guard.

Study co-author Sakari Lemola, a psychology professor at the University of Warwick, commented in The Guardian:

“We didn’t expect to find that, but we believe that there are certainly many changes in the responsibilities you have.”

Previous research estimated that parents lose about 44 days of sleep during their child’s first year of life, with mothers being hit harder than fathers. That said, more and more fathers are accepting larger parenting roles and, as they often go back to work sooner, have fewer opportunities to nap during the day.

Image Credit: Pixabay

This study tracked the sleep of 2541 moms and 2118 dads over the course of six years. They parents reported births of children, as well as how well they slept on weeknights versus weekends. Women experienced the most lost sleep during baby’s first year, reporting a 1.7 point decline in sleep quality after their first children and another 1 point decline after the birth of each subsequent child. On average, moms lost about 40 minutes of sleep per night in that first year, and in the first three months they lost over an hour. Comparatively, dads lost only 13 minutes of sleep per night during their first year of parenthood.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Regardless of the differences, it took up to 6 years for both men and women to return to their normal sleep schedule after having a child. The results were also similar regardless of income, whether or not both parents worked, and single parenting.

There is a reason that sleep-deprivation is used as a torture device, and more than a few health reasons parents should be concerned – and take care to minimize the effects of a poor night’s sleep on their life and body.

Insufficient sleep is associated with car accidents, poor concentration and performance at work, increased illness, weight gain, and a higher risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it when you’ve got small children; if your little one needs you in the middle of the night you can’t really tell them to go piss up a rope and roll over.

But researchers did make a few suggestions.

“For parents, lifestyle management strategies might include stress management, exercise, enlisting help from family and friends and seeking the guidance of professionals such as therapists or physicians when needed.”

“Families benefit from prioritizing healthy sleep – this can be accomplished through limited caffeine intake, having a consistent and calming evening routine, keeping the bedroom dark, and reducing exposure to bright screens such as cell phones, tablets, and TVs close to bedtime.”

And take heart, mamas and daddies – six years will go by in a flash.

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This Man Has Determined That It’s Cheaper to Retire to a Holiday Inn Instead of a Nursing Home

These days, there are so many senior citizens who are unable to retire because of the ridiculous cost of housing as well as dwindling/nonexistent savings.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, households that are 65 years or older spend, on average, $45,756 per year, or roughly $3,800 per month. That’s only $1,000 less per month than all U.S. households on average. We all know how the economy has swung back and forth since the 2008 meltdown, so many Americans have had a hard time retiring or haven’t been able to at all.

Because of all this uncertainty, one man from Texas has come up with a brilliant plan for his twilight years. Terry Robinson has decided that, instead of opting for the traditional retirement home, he’ll spend his remaining years in a Holiday Inn hotel.

And to top it off, the Holiday Inn will be cheaper.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Robinson wrote a lengthy Facebook post about his plan and as of this writing, the post has been shared 132,000 times. Robinson’s post says:

“No nursing home for us. We’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I’ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5-worth of tips a day and you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There’s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.

The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today .

And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii ? They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they’ll call an ambulance . . . Or the undertaker.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

The grand-kids can use the pool.

What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age, I’ll face it with a grin.”

Sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

What do YOU think? Let’s get some retirees to weigh in on this predicament in the comments.

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Although Fidel Castro was always…

Although Fidel Castro was always pictured with cigars, he gave up smoking them in the 80’s and was quoted as saying: “The best thing you can do with a box of cigars give it to your enemy!”