I’m Still Messed Up by the Story About the Girl with the Ribbon Around Her Neck

Hi everyone! We’ve got a fun topic of discussion today – childhood trauma. Specifically, childhood trauma caused by a very specific book that many of us read as children.

So, do you remember reading this book as a kid?

Among the many slightly creepy not-entirely-appropriate-for-kids stories in the book was one called “The Green Ribbon” about a girl named Jenny with a ribbon around her neck.

Jenny was ALWAYS wearing that ribbon around her neck. Some dude named Alfred even asks her what the deal is.

But Jenny never gave a straight answer to that question. Hell, Alfred even MARRIED HER and she still didn’t say anything about it.

They grow old together and Jenny gets sick. As she’s on her deathbed, she FINALLY tells him why she always wore that ribbon…

… Because she’s a FREAKIN’ ZOMBIE whose head woulda fallen off without that ribbon!!!!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!?????!!!???

Seriously, Jenny, WTF?!?

I suppose the clues were there. She was super pale…

Still, “You’re a decapitated zombie” is hardly anyone’s first guess. Jenny unties her ribbon..

And I shit you not, her head FALLS ON THE FLOOR.

This story had me suspiciously side-eyeing girls who wore chokers for years.

And seriously, Alfred, my man, how do you not ask more questions? He’s just over here like:

“Seems legit.”

In conclusion, this book thoroughly fucked us all up as kids.

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