Funny Tweets to Improve Your Day

I bet you didn’t know that there are over 5,000 tweets sent out every single second. It’s impossible to wrap my head around that number of tweets. That means that there was a new oooooonnnneee NOW.

And NOW.

And NOW.

And now and now and now andnowandnowandNOW.

And juuuuuuust now.

AND NOW.

…and now.

You know what, this is getting exhausted, let’s just look at some of the ones that caught our eye recently.

10. What a morning

I mean, technically it’s a bar. Call it a Pavlovian response.

9. Gimme yum yums

Mmm, yes, interesting, curly fries, please do go on.

8. The truth comes out

Speak from the truest part of yourself.

7. Stuck in the middle

Just like this hot pocket, I’m ice cold on the inside.

6. No you don’t

The only place I’m driving you is crazy.

5. Consumed by thought

It’s really been eating me up.

4. I see dead people

If that’s what the afterlife is I hope I never die.

3. Avoidant joys

Sorry for explaining that. Thank you. Sorry.

2. Shrinkage

The hot stuff doesn’t leave you feeling like hot stuff.

1. Oh, dip

Don’t forget fruitlessly half-trying to clean up the crumbs.

There are so very many tweets, and so little time. We’ll never be able to keep up with all of the clever things people are saying on the platform, but at least we’ve found a few gems among the deluge to enjoy.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us who you think we should be following in the comments.

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