Fine Memes That Will Make a Good Addition to Your Collection

I wasn’t very good with the trading card fads as a kid. I couldn’t get into them, I didn’t have the money to spend on them, and I never really got that sense for how to tell a rare, valuable card from a run of the mill boring one.

Meme collecting, though? I’m all over that. It probably helps that I don’t have to drive to the drug store and spend ten bucks on a meme pack in the hopes it contains at least one that I don’t already have. Memes are much simpler to acquire. And I don’t mind sharing the wealth, as many have before me. Here. Enjoy some medium-rare memes.

10. *sniff* he had the high ground

9. Crazy how nature do that

8. Stealth mode activated

7. Exit through the gift shop

6. What a twist!

5. I’m going places

4. Boom boom over zoom

3. Too hot to handle

2. I just need some space

1. You’re older vs I’m older

I wouldn’t trade my meme collection for all the golden Charizards or whatever in the world.

What’s your favorite meme?

Tell us in the comments.

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High-Value Memes You Should Invest a Bit of Time In

I checked with my financial planner and I’m becoming more and more convinced that we’re getting very close to a future where memes will be used as currency. That being the case, you’re going to want to stock up on some higher value memes now; to do otherwise would just be irresponsible.

Lucky for you, I’ve got some right here. Have a look, take your pick. Stick ’em in your savings account.

15. I’m baby

14. It’s an extended episode

13. More like lies potato chips

12. The no-explode code

11. Loneliness kills

10. A little goes a long way

9. Things took a turn for the worse

8. I think you’re muted

7. Fly, you fools

6. It’s…dense

5. We all need a cause

4. Take that, you filthy casual

3. Back away slowly

2. Coming out of my shell

1. Isolators, unite!

Now all you’ve got to do is wait for memes to replace money and you’ll be a gazillionare. Honestly at the rate we’re going, should be any day now, because I don’t think we’re going to get anymore help from the government. Wouldn’t that be amazing if we could just collect memes and THAT actually was currency. Oh, one can dream…

What meme do you think is the most valuable?

Tell us in the comments.

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Memes You’ll Love or Your Money Back!

Memes sure are great. There’s really not a day so bad that it can’t be improved at least a little bit by a solid meme. But who’s got time to hunt them all down? No worries, you lovely, lazy, soul. We’ve got a collection right here.

Sit back. Scroll down. Enjoy these 15 thoroughly random memes.

15. We got a 23-19!

14. Good boi of the year

13. Tell Lexi I love her

12. Cat-itude

11. That’s one way to do it

10. If you’ve got time to lean…

9. Thank you for your service

8. Taste the rainbow

7. Fly, you fool

6. Tag yourself, I’m fire gator

5. Still too close together

4. But I read it on the internet

3. It’s a cera-bration

2. I for one welcome our merciful feline overlords

1. I don’t like the “w” in “wfh”

Feel free to go back through and look at them all again, if you want. It’s a free internet, after all.

Where do you go to get the best memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets to Make Your Day a Little Bit Better

How would you rate today on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being horrible, 10 being amazing. No matter where you fall on that scale, these tweets should boost you up by at least a couple of points. Yes, even if you’re at a 10, somehow. Be prepared to experience a 12.

Enjoy these fifteen funny food-for-thoughts from the world of Twitter, and let them brighten your day.

15. Deliver us from destruction

14. S**T: Chapter II

13. Flavor is fragile

12. State of the state

11. Ain’t no laws when you’re drinkin’ claws

10. Gonna just Zoom from the Tomb

9. Why does everything take effort

8. Egg-cellence in broadcasting

7. Pupper pundits

6. A window of time

5. Next level cold

4. We’re all Hollywood insiders

3. He pounce

2. Time is an illusion

1. Ask your doctor if giving up is right for you

If these have failed to raise your day quality by at least 20%, please send all complaints to Twitter. Just at whoever, I’m sure they’ll get it.

Which tweet was your favorite?

Let us know in the comments.

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These Anxiety Memes Will Make Today 3% Better

You need to have a sense of humor in life about the hard stuff. Anxiety is definitely one of those tough things that many, many people have to deal with on a daily basis.

Hopefully, these 11 memes will make you laugh and give you at least a moment’s break from your anxiousness.

1. OMG… does this exist?!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. Welcome to the thunderdome!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. Oh brain… you’re such a brain…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. Insomnia… hello again my old friend…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. I love that episode!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Oh yeah… I hate myself…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. Yeah, but what about NOT doing something together?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. Look what’s back!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Yeah, but…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Upside? If he stays, he’s trapped!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Those fucking dots…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Ahhhhh… those made me hate myself just a little bit less. But just a little bit less. Maybe 3% less hate for myself now. Okay, 4%. I’ll give myself that.

What about you? How much less do you hate yourself? 5%? 6%? Possibly even 8%?

Let us know in the comments!

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12 Memes Filled With Just Enough Randomness to Make You Laugh

What’s better than random memes to begin your day?

Joy? Happiness? Fulfillment? Self satisfaction? Self acceptance? Inner peace?

Yeah, all of those things are MYTHS. Let’s get to the real real…

1. Who needs brains? We just need feels.

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. This!

Photo Credit: Someecards

3. Oh look… my life!

Photo Credit: Someecards

4. It’s 530 somewhere…. **burp**

Photo Credit: Someecards

5. Wut you lookin at mate?

Photo Credit: Someecards

6. Go hard or go home

Photo Credit: Someecards

7. Nailed it!

Photo Credit: Someecards

8. I ran into this recently…

Photo Credit: Someecards

9. Exquisite!

Photo Credit: Someecards

10. Can’t stop, won’t stop…

Photo Credit: Someecards

11. Is that a Bugatti???

Photo Credit: Someecards

12. Gaslighters Anonymous!

Photo Credit: Someecards

Ahhh… after a dozen memes I feel like a real person. It’s like a good, hot shower, only it’s me sitting on my couch, thumbing through my phone like a garbage person.

Ya know… same thing, right?

But those are my two cents… what are yours? Let us know in the comments!

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These Memes are for People With Anxiety Who Need a Laugh Today

What’s the point of life if you don’t have a sense of humor? It helps us deal with the truly awful stuff.

Anxiety is definitely one of those tough things that basically everybody has to deal with, but isn’t that unifying?! Yeah it is!

These 12 memes will make you laugh and give you at least a moment’s break from your anxiousness.

1. Oh yeah. I forgot about those…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. Works every time!!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. If only…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. I’m pretty sure they don’t hate me THAT much, right?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. Ahhh… just like always!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Somebody actually got this!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. They grow up so fast!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. You know what anxiety? You need to SHUT UP!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Yep, checks out!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Every. Single. Day.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Do I have to use it all at once, or…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

12. You’re gonna make me care, aren’t you???

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Feeling less anxious? No? Me neither, but… I’m laughing. And maybe I’ll be able to live with myself tomorrow.

Probably not. We’ll see.

Which of these are your faves? Let us know in the comments!

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If Kids Aren’t Your Thing, These Memes Are For You

Are you the type of person who does NOT want to have kids? Hey! Me too!!

We hate the idea that our independence will be threatened by bedtimes, diaper changes, responsibilities, crying, and snot leakage.

Yeah… completely understandable reasons, fam!

If you’re one of those people, these memes pretty much sum up your outlook on life and kids, so let’s go!

1. Seriously the worst!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

2. This won’t end well…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

3. Stop looking at me!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

4. Too late… already do this…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

5. The right response…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

6. Get away from me, you devil child!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

7. Wut sup!?

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

8. Get it away!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

9. Move away from the child…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

10. OMG… YES!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

11. Yes? No? Hmmm, better take all of the birth control then!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

So, you’re going out to the store right now to gets some condoms, right? Because there’s NO way you want to have a little you running around. That would be horrible.

What do you think? One of these speak to you in a special way?

Let us know in the comments!

The post If Kids Aren’t Your Thing, These Memes Are For You appeared first on UberFacts.

11 Times Birthdays Did Not Go According to Plan and Went off the Rails

Birthdays are supposed to be great celebrations! I mean, that’s when you were born… and as a kid your birthday is essentially the biggest day of the year.

But… we’re not all that lucky. Some folks get completely shafted. These Reddit users were brave enough to share their sad birthday stories with the rest of us.

1. I would be SO angry!

Last year I was unemployed at the time of my birthday.

My friends and I made plans to actually go out and do something. The day before my birthday I got called to an interview where they told me I had a job. They wanted me to start the next day. So I cancelled my plans, went out and bought some work clothes and showed up for my first day of work. When I arrived, I found that there were 6 other girls there and that we were actually being interviewed again and that we would do a day of “training”. It then came out that only 2 people would leave with jobs.

Our “training” consisted of us doing 5 hours worth of kitchen labour. At the end of the day 2 girls were chosen and everyone else walked away jobless.

I was not one of those girls and I wasted my birthday on unpaid work.

2. Super!

My Birthday is at the very end of January. So often this coincides with the Super Bowl.

16th birthday was going to be a Super Bowl party. Gave out a ton of invites, paper and verbal. Had a bunch of people say they would swing by either for the whole thing or for the first half. Blah Blah Blah.

Put out snacks, had the game on the big screen. Only had two people show up and they didn’t even come inside. They just dropped off a small cake on their way to a different Super Bowl party.

At halftime I finally gave up hope that anyone else was showing up and told my mom to put the snacks away as I was going to bed.

3. Oh, get over it

It was my 19th birthday.

I was living in the dorms, and my friends got together and decided to give me a surprise party. This included them going out of their way to not see me all day, to avoid telling me happy birthday. All of my friends ignored me for the entire day, only to call me down to one of their rooms at 11:00 PM. I was getting ready for bed, ready to put the whole crappy day behind me. Instead I have to go down there to find them all drinking. They didn’t understand why that was not exactly a fun experience.

4. Face plant

I don’t remember exactly which birthday it was, I think 9th or 10th, we were all set to go to Chuck E Cheese with some friends and their parents for my birthday.

I was out in the yard with my friends playing with skate boards until it was time to leave for the pizza party. One of my shoe laces came undone, went under the wheel of the skateboard I was riding on and it pulled me down and I face planted into the sidewalk and took a good chunk if not all of the skin off my nose. Bloodied and crying, we still went to Chuck E Cheese.

I felt so insecure with this big bloodied scar of a nose while we were out in public.

5. Get better friends

For my 19th birthday, I organized a party at a friend’s house with tons of booze and tons of snacks. My ARMY buddy whose house it was at even procured Everclear for the Jungle Juice. I invited pretty much everyone I knew and told them to invite their friends.

One friend showed up.

Six years later, I tried again. I organized a “taste tripping” party where you take these Miracle Berry tablets that change the way your tongue tastes food (sour tastes sweet). I had a bunch of different foods on a platter for people to try tasting. Again, I invited everyone I knew.

Only one friend and his girlfriend showed up.

I’ve decided to stop throwing birthday parties.

6. Broke friends

Well, it was my 18th, and my first after starting university.

Throughout high school, I was fairly well off and was usually pretty generous. I talked to all my friends and they all wanted to come until I mentioned they might have to kick in half for their dinner. All bailed except one, who got depressed and cancelled. My World of Warcraft guild got together and sent me a tray of muffins and a timecard. Its always a crappy day when the only people who even pretend to care on your birthday are people who you’ve never met in real life.

Thank you, <The Muffin Kings>, for caring.

7. Series of unfortunate events

My 20th birthday.

I woke up at 8am, went to class in the crappy cold rain. When I got there and found out class was cancelled I was pretty bummed, especially since I had no ride home for three hours.

Next my sister takes me out to lunch where we find out our grandfather has to have emergency open heart surgery. Awesome. After that mess I went to see my now ex-girlfriend at school because she refused to drive home to see me.

We go out to dinner, she doesn’t have money because she spent it all on booze earlier in the week. I have to pay for my own dinner. Next we go back to her dorm room for some birthday sexy time, but instead we have a talk and she breaks up with me.

Worst birthday I’ve ever had.

8. Well that’s sad!

My birthday usually came a week after my first report card, and I got punished as a result with either no birthday, or a “bitter birthday” with just me and my parents, who would stare at me disappointedly. Or my mother was drunk, and would forget.

My birthdays since then have been pretty good, though.

9. …I just can’t

On my 22nd birthday, my housemates girlfriend insisted we go out. She kept badgering me about it until I named a local place that was semi-expensive, I also said Chilis. She kept pushing for the more expensive place insisting it was my special day.

We got there, she looked at the menus and immediately threw a fit, complaining she couldn’t afford anything. When her boyfriend attempted to buy her meal, she declined him multiple times, and refused to share his as a compromise.

For the rest of the night we ate in silence interrupted by her complaining about hunger pangs and how anyone could afford the place she had insisted we all go to.

10. Shit rolls downhill

16th birthday, I woke up to my parents fighting.

They didn’t even remember it was my birthday. Then my best friend, who happened to be the girl I was madly in love with stopped by to tell me goodbye as she was moving to Texas with her family.

I told her I liked her before but on that day I was going to tell her how I feel and ask her out.

When I got back from saying goodbye, my dad was packing his stuff and they told me they were getting divorced.

11. Like dominos…

I was really excited for my 19th birthday.

I was going to have lunch with my girlfriend, hang out with my friends after, and end the evening with pizza at my parents home. The girlfriends mum picks me up (no car at the time because I was living with the girlfriend and paying rent) and we go down to her university and she has to pick up some books so we go to the bookstore and she kills 2 hours in lines and shopping for clothing. Not all the books were bought so we went to an off campus bookstore. Another hour or so in line. I text my friends and cancel our plans.

We then go to The Olive Garden and she spends the whole time talking to her mum about something that the mum’s most recent boyfriend did. Started chatting up the server and mentioned it was my birthday to her and SHE wished me a happy birthday. Girlfriend looked at me puzzled. She had forgotten it. It’s now 8 pm and we are driving home. I’m in the backseat and I call my parents and tell them that I’ll be home soon. There’s an accident down the road on. My parents call me and ask where I am. I tell them to eat without me. 3 hours later we are out of the traffic jam and I go to my parents home and cry.

Broke up with her a few weeks later because she was cheating on me (for months now) and I was still salty about her forgetting my birthday and ruining that day.

What did you think? Have a story that can top some of these?

You know what to do… let us know in the comments!

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12 Mindbenders That Might Just Mess With Your Sense of Reality

The simple definition of a paradox is this: a statement that contradicts itself or a situation which seems to defy logic.

These are all around us every day, and range from something mundane like saying “I always lie” and the complexities surrounding the idea of time travel.

If you’re into reading things that really bend your brain, I present these 12 paradoxes, designed to do just that.

12. When did it cease to be?

The Ship of Theseus always kind of fucked me. So, there’s this Greek dude called Theseus, and he’s on a very long boat trip home. His ship needs repair, they stop, replace a few rotten boards, and continue. Due to the particularily strenuous nature of this very long trip, several more of these stops for repairs are made, until, by the very end, not a single board from the original vessel remains.

Is this still the same vessel? If not, when did it cease to be?

11. Simple but not.

Pinocchio says “My nose will grow after I finish this sentence”

Does it?

10. The more traffic, the more traffic. Or something.

Braess’ paradox.

From wiki “the observation that adding one or more roads to a road network can end up impeding overall traffic flow through it. The paradox was postulated in 1968 by German mathematician Dietrich Braess, who noticed that adding a road to a particular congested road traffic network would increase overall journey time.”

9. Just stop it, people.

That “this page is intentionally left blank” page.

The page isn’t even blank anymore!

8. Triple make you crazy.

The UK ‘triple lock’ that people moving to the UK experience:

Need proof of address and photographic ID to open a bank account

Need a bank account and photographic ID to rent a place

Need a bank account and an address to get sent your photographic ID

7. The Legend of Zelda.

What about the song of storms from the legend of Zelda?

In the legend of Zelda ocarina of Time, you travel though time between child and adult by using the master sword, and doing so you can come back to certain areas to get different items from both times.

Well one song the you learn is called the song of storms and you learn it by going to the adult time and talk to a guy in a windmill. He tells you about a kid that came in 7 years ago and played a strange song and messed up the windmill and teaches it to you. After learning the song you can now go back to being a child and go to the guy in the windmill and play the song to him, despite not knowing it before as a child.

So questions are where did the song come from and who taught who the song? Did the windmill guy teach it to link or did link teach it to the windmill guy?

6. And around and around forever.

Jim is my enemy.

But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy.

And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

So, Jim is actually my friend.

But…because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy.

So, actually Jim is my enemy.

But…

5. Where to put the hooks?

So i know this is just a silly thing but…..

At my old work, my department was food service. In our prep room, you had to always wear an apron. Always, no exceptions.

When leaving the preproom, you had to take your apron off to prevent cross contamination.

The bosses were trying to figure out where to put the hooks. Inside in the back of the door, or outside on the wall.

4. Definitely hard to explain.

The Banach Tarski paradox is one hell of a mind fuck.

Its basically taking something, and rearranging it to form another exact copy of itself while still having the complete original. Like taking a sphere, which has infinite points on it and drawing line from every “point” on its surface to the center, or the core of the sphere. Then you seperate the lines from the sphere, but because there is infinite points you now have an exact copy of the original sphere.

Its kind of hard to explain here so just watch the Vsauce video on it for a more in depth explanation.

3. The coastline is always growing…or something.

The coastline paradox.

The more accurately you measure a coastline, the longer it gets… to infinity.

2. But you do, in fact, reach the door.

One of my favorites is Xeno’s Paradox.

In order to leave my apartment, just for example, I have to walk half way to my front door. Then I have to walk half the remaining distance. Then half that distance, ad infinitum. In theory, I should never be able to reach the door.

Now I love this paradox, because we’ve actually solved it. It was a lively, well-discussed debate for millennia. At least a few early thinkers were convinced that motion was an illusion because of it!

It was so persuasive an argument that people doubted their senses!

Then Leibniz (and/or Newton) developed calculus and we realized that infinite sums can have finite solutions.

Paradox resolved.

It makes me wonder what “calculus” we are missing to resolve some of these others.

EDIT: A lot more people have strong opinions about Zeno’s Paradox than I thought. To address common comments:

1.) Yes, it’s Zeno, not ‘Xeno’. Blame autocorrect and my own fraught relationship with homophones.

2.) Yes there are three of them.

3.) If you’re getting hung up on the walking example, think of an arrow being shot at a fleeing target. First the arrow has to get to where the target was. But at that point, the target has moved. So the arrow has to cover that new distance. But by then, the target has moved again, etc. So the arrow gets infinitesimally closer to the target, but doesn’t ever reach it.

4.) Okay, you think you could have solved it if you were living in ancient Greece. I profoundly regret that you weren’t born back then to catapult our understanding two millenia into the future.

5.) Yes, I agree Diogenes was a badass.

I hope this covers everything.

1. Just take a shot and pick a box.

Newcomb’s Paradox:

There are two boxes, A and B. A contains either $1,000 or $0 and B contains $100. Box A is opaque, so you can’t see inside, Box B is clear, so you can see for sure that there is $100 in it.

Your options is to choose both boxes, or to choose only Box A.

There is an entity called “The Predictor”, which determines whether or not the $1,000 will be in Box A. How he chooses this is by predicting whether or not you will choose both boxes, or just Box A. If the Predictor predicts that you will “two box”, he will leave Box A empty. If he predicts that you will “one box”, he will put the $1,000 in Box A. He is accurate “an overwhelming amount of the time”, but not 100%. At the time of your decision, the contents of Box A (i.e. whether or not there is anything in it) are fixed, and nothing you do at that point will change whether or not there is anything in the box.

It is a paradox of decision theory that rests on two principles of rational choice. According to the principle of strategic dominance:

There are only two possibilities, and you don’t know which one holds:

Box A is empty: Therefore you should choose both boxes, to get $100 as opposed to $0.

Box A is full: Therefore you should choose both boxes, to get $1,100 as opposed to just $1,000.

Therefore, you should always choose both boxes, since under every possible scenario, this results in more money.

BUT:

According to the principle of expected value:

Choosing one box is superior because you have a statistically higher chance of getting more money. Most of the people who have gone before you who have chosen one box have gotten $1,000, and most that have chosen both boxes have gotten only $100. Therefore, if you analyze the problem statistically, or in terms of which decision has the higher probability of resulting in a higher outcome, you should choose only one box. Imagine one billion people going before you, and you actually seeing so many of them have this outcome. Any outliers became insignificant.

In terms of strategic dominance, two-boxing is always superior to one-boxing because no matter what is in Box A, two-boxing results in more money. One-boxing, on the other hand, has a demonstrably higher probability of resulting in a larger amount of money. Both of these choices represent fundamental principles of rational choice. There are two rival theories, Causal Decision Theory (which supports strategic dominance) and Evidential Decision Theory (which supports expected utility). It is pretty arcane but one of the most difficult paradoxes in contemporary philosophy.

Robert Nozick summed it up well: “To almost everyone, it is perfectly clear and obvious what should be done. The difficulty is that these people seem to divide almost evenly on the problem, with large numbers thinking that the opposing half is just being silly.”

EDIT: I made some edits…to make it clearer.

EDIT: There are also an offshoot of Newcomb’s Paradoxes called medical Newcomb’s Problems. I’ve been in a situation like this before, I’ll describe it:

I went on an antidepressant, and there’s a history of manic depression in my family. My psychiatrist told me that for some people, antidepressants bring out their manic phase, and they find out they have manic depression. They already did have manic depression, so it doesn’t cause it, it just reveals it. She told me to watch out for any impulsive decisions I making, as that can be a sign of a manic phase.

I was in line at a convenience store and thought: should I buy a black and mild? I don’t really smoke, but for some reason it seemed appealing. Then I realized, that seems like an impulsive decision. But, if it is an impulsive decision, and I go through with it, and do indeed have manic depression, then I should just do it anyways. After all, it’s not making me have manic depression, it’s simply revealing something to me that I already had. On the other hand, if I don’t do it, then I have no evidence that I have manic depression, meaning that there truly is less evidence, and therefore I have no reason to believe that I have manic depression.

Expected utility = don’t buy the black & mild Strategic dominance = buy the black & mild

These situations aren’t quite as easy to see, but they’re interesting anyways.

I’m doing quite well now and all indication is that I do not have manic depression.

I’m off to take a nap to recover.

Do you have a favorite paradox? If it’s not here, please leave it in the comments!

Yes, we’re asking you to mess with our head once again. Because that’s how we roll.

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