Here’s a movie pitch: it’s like Toy Story except with clothes. A plucky wardrobe full of colorful characters have to team up to solve a mystery when, suddenly, nearly all of them stop being worn. I’d imagine that’s what a lot of our closets feel like, based on what people are saying on Twitter right now.
But while I’m looking for a producer who will finance this masterpiece, enjoy some tweets about what high fashion is like in 2020.
See, this is the inciting incident of the movie I was pitching.
my shoes probably think i died
— gent (@gentv10) April 8, 2020
Oh, well, aren’t you just a fancy pants?
wearing jeans today like a goddamn first class passenger on the titanic
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 21, 2020
12. I am enough
Get out of here with that garbage.
People who are quarantining in jeans: what are you trying to prove
— sarafcarter (@sarafcarter) March 21, 2020
Back in my day we paid good money for jeans like that.
Wear jeans during quarantine, they said. It will make you feel normal, they said. pic.twitter.com/vKSkNMZC4m
— Ali Griffin Vingiano (@alivingiano) April 19, 2020
Weird motivational flex but OK.
if I get through this quarantine without buying a tie-dye sweatsuit i can do anything
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) April 22, 2020
9. Bye bye bags
The revolution has begun.
I just thought about my purse and laughed. Remember purses?! Hahahhahahha omg fuckin purses
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) April 19, 2020
8. Camera angles matter
Bae caught me slippin’.
Hey put some pants on my guy pic.twitter.com/PpCIBRrjP5
— Adam Graham (@grahamorama) April 28, 2020
Don’t fly too close to the sun.
MONDAY. The theme this week is "low bar for success." Did you brush your teeth? Gold star. Did you get out of bed to do it? Holy fuck, you're amazing. Are you wearing pants? YOU FOOL YOU FELL FOR THE TRAP, PANTS ARE A TOOL OF THE OPPRESSOR, SHIRK YOUR LEG BRIDLES AND RUN FREE
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) April 27, 2020
6. Beautiful lies
Come on Victoria’s Secret, who are you kidding?
No one is wearing a bra rn. Our titties are finally free, bitch. https://t.co/JDY6NDRBxm
— Crystal Marie Denha (@IamCrystalMarie) April 25, 2020
Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone…
I should have worn more intense hats back when wearing real clothes was a thing
— JP (@jpbrammer) March 31, 2020
4. Don’t sweat it
Oh, look at Mr. “I have multiple pairs of sweat pants” over here.
Me waking up in the morning and changing out of sweatpants and into a new pair of sweatpants pic.twitter.com/WCtB1ERRGZ
— Nate Hoerger (@Nateral_Ice) March 30, 2020
3. Choking hazard
Butt weight, there’s more!
Putting on jeans for the first time in two weeks pic.twitter.com/lYmCPt98QW
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) March 25, 2020
2. Creatures of habit
It helps me pretend things are normal.
Me: sitting in sweatpants wondering why I wasted money on clothes all of these years
Also me while checking my email:
Oh a sale!
— jilly hendrix (@jillyhendrix) April 20, 2020
1. At least you tried
The important thing is that you stop doing that.
Every time I attempt to wear something other than a sweatshirt and pajamas pic.twitter.com/eDQryK821u
— Marina Fang (@marinafang) April 23, 2020
So we’re all a little sloppy. Big deal. There are far worse fates. We could go back to JNCO jeans.
We don’t mean this in a creepy way, but like, what are you wearing?
Share and compare in the comments.