Some twitter jokes are so good they just keep popping up over and over again. You might even say that history retweets itself. But don’t say that. Because anyone who hears you will slap you right across the face. But you could. Because it’s true.
To illustrate what I’m talking about, here’s a collection of 10 classic and/or soon to be classic tweets that deserve a long legacy.
10. Just soak it all in
Me leaving a pan to soak after cooking knowing I have absolutely no intention of washing it pic.twitter.com/ROT1vTFlZv
— A$ (@AdamStobbart) October 22, 2018
9. Winnie the Ew
My son asked me
"Where does poo come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation.
He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"— Zack Riley
(@ColdHeart_Prj) January 2, 2020
8. Also, there’s some cracks you might step on
BUILDING INSPECTOR: Well, you say you’ve kept everything up to code, but I’ve been speaking with your 4 year old and he informed me the floor is actually lava, which—I don’t need to tell you—is a pretty serious safety violation.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 23, 2018
7. She’s the opposite of Anakin
My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017
6. Gotta keep a pasta-tive outlook
This is the kind of positivity i needed to see today https://t.co/Q01fSpzamE
— Em (@EmilyBojic) June 22, 2018
5. I drink therefore I am
I'm giving up drinking for a month.
Sorry, bad punctuation.
I'm giving up. Drinking for a month.
— no one you know (@dafodil_daffy) December 20, 2019
4. We’re totally getting to it
>>> If a man says he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months about it.
— Andrew Blum (@Blum2o) August 15, 2012
3. All dressed up to sell me car insurance
It looks like he’s wearing a gecko onesie!
— Sara Bitterman (@SaraBitterman1) April 4, 2020
2. Love me tenders
I hate when my Touch ID doesn’t work on my phone like c’mon you already know it’s me with a little chicken tenders grease
— Dalton (@TheDaltonHill) December 29, 2017
1. It’s part of being a groan-up
It's very hard to make friends as an adult because once you're an adult you've realized you hate everyone.
— maura quint (@behindyourback) February 9, 2016
Obviously, most of those belong in a museum. Which is why I’m campaigning for the next Indiana Jones adventure to be subtitled “…And The Bomb-Ass Like Ratio.”
Who’s your favorite person to follow on twitter?
Let us know in the comments.
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