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These Pictures Prove Senior Dogs Are as Good as It Gets

Nothing compares to spending years with your dog, until you’re both older and wiser and, sure, a bit slower. And while it can make us a bit sad to watch our pups wobble and gray, the truth is that they’re not terribly bothered by it.

And these 17 pictures prove that old dogs are the best dogs, and maybe even the best choice the next time you’re looking for a new friend to bring home.

#17. She can still smile. My heart.

When an old girl gets a second chance. from aww

#16. BFFs.

The color has faded over the years but their love hasn’t. from aww

#15. I want him.

Old dogs are cute too – Meet Shadow. from aww

#14. Old gray beard.

Happy old dude from aww

#13. This is the sweetest thing ever.

Senior dog owner is a bus driver. Doggo goes with him to work every day. from aww

#12. Going gray together.

Getting grey, 15 years together. from pics

#11. That’s the life.

My dog is too old to go on walks anymore, so my brother put her in a wheelbarrow and went around the neighborhood. from aww

#10. We are all proud, Maggie.

This is Maggie, my grandads old girl. She doesn’t get as much attention anymore but she always brings you a leaf. You can’t have the leaf, she just wants you to be proud. from aww

#9. Happy is adorable.

This lil’ girl’s face has gotten more white every year but her smile hasn’t changed. from aww

#8. A very good boy.

This is Doc. He’s 19 years old and a good boy from aww

#7. New friends are the best.

Adopted this 13 year old girl 2 weeks ago. I think she likes me. from aww

#6. All pups love one-on-one time.

Most of the time my brother’s old girl gets overshadowed buy the younger dogs in he house. today she went for a ride with dad all by herself. Look at that face! from aww

#5. Majestic.

17 years old. Sadly his health is deteriorating fast recently from dogpictures

#4. Besties for the resties.

I recently adopted Artie at the ripe old age of 15. Everyone meet my new best fren! from OldManDog

#3. Just love her.

Found my 12yr old pup on my bed. It’s been a couple years since she was able to get up there, no idea how she did it. With her favorite toy too! Don’t have the heart to kick her off from aww

#2. Every dog deserves a great retirement.

Rescued a senior Floofer this year, we call this her “retirement.” from aww

#1. And still an adorable floof.

Just turned 18 years old today, Reddit meet Amber! from aww

Very good boys and girls!

The post These Pictures Prove Senior Dogs Are as Good as It Gets appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Things People Didn’t Understand Until They Became Adults

You get a major shock when you eventually become a grown up – like how not fun it is 90% of the time – until they hit a certain age and find themselves with more responsibilities than free time and more kids than money.

The 15 things below definitely make me nostalgic for the carefree days of my childhood.

#15. Lefts and rights.

The whole “my right vs. your right” thing confused the heck out of me as a preschooler. I knew my own lefts and rights but when my mom was facing me and used to say “my right isn’t the same as your right” I learned to just do the opposite of what she looked like. Problem is this led to me thinking that the difference was because of AGE, so kids’ lefts and rights were the opposite of adults’ lefts and rights.

So somehow I got the idea in my head that when you turned 21 your lefts and rights switched (I have no clue why I specifically thought 21, I had this image in my head of blowing out 21 candles and everyone saying congratulations and you get some kind of certificate to officially switch them). Well I’m 21 now and my lefts and rights never switched.

#14. A dog and children.

The stress of paying bills and budgeting. My parents tried to keep this hidden from me but I could tell how much they carefully budgeted. They also sacrificed for us kids. I didn’t get that until I had a dog first and then children.

#13. Just double the Christmas presents.

That my parents couldn’t just double the presents this Christmas if I tell them it’s okay to not do anything for next Christmas.

#12. Value.

The value of all the shit I trashed or broke.

#11. Some people are selfish jerks.

Not everyone is inclined to do the right thing. Some people are selfish jerks and it sucks, but you just have to accept it and do what you believe is right. There are a lot of awesome people out there too, and you can’t get too cynical about the world because of the shitty people in it

#10. Not a given.

Vacations and breaks aren’t a given. You don’t just get to stop working for a few weeks randomly throughout the year, and no one plans around your vacation – you must plan all of your own (and sometimes other people’s) work around your departures. Oh, and vacations are expensive. There’s probably a reason that Billy down the block’s family is able to take five people to Disneyworld: because they have money.

I’m a violin teacher now and blew this poor kid’s mind this past weekend when he asked me what I was doing for spring break. I sort of stared at him for a second, and then remembered that spring break is a thing that kids get…so I told him that I’m working because I don’t get a spring break and he was just completely aghast. Sorry buddy, the adult world isn’t as fun as being a kid.

#9. Such a pretty name.

I didn’t know what virginity was and my dad would say I would understand when I got older. In the meantime, I thought it would make such a pretty name for a girl.

#8. Bills to pay.

my dad wasn’t a workaholic, we just had bills to pay.

#7. I really thought I’d need the karate chop.

I used to think that living beyond 24 was crazy and impossible
I used to think you would grow up to be a particular person instead of a larger version of yourself. I genuinely thought I could become Prince.
I really thought I’d need the karate chop as a part of my adult life

#6. How to cherish the silence.

As a kid I thought if it was quiet it was boring and the worst possible thing. Now I work in a library and cherish the silence more than anything.

#5. How seldom they do.

You wouldn’t care what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they think of you.

#4. Because they weren’t cool.

The Alanis Morissette lyric “You’re my best friend / best friend with benefits” from “Head Over Feet.” I told my parents that my best friend was my best friend with benefits when I was like 8, and they laughed hysterically and I just assumed it’s because they weren’t cool and into Alanis’s music and didn’t understand that it clearly meant “super best friend.”

#3. Special phones with letters.

How to dial any phone number that was alphanumeric. 1-800-WAIT-WUT. I thought adults had access to special phones with letters.

#2. The value of afternoon naps.

How grown-ups fall asleep after Sunday lunch, Christmas dinner, etc. It was so boring as a kid but now I fully understand the value of afternoon naps in the sun after a roast dinner.

#1. New jokes every time.

Calvin and Hobbes jokes. Reread and there’s new jokes every time.

Youth is definitely wasted on the young.

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10+ People Share All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Horror Stories

Buffets are kind of disgusting. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy them, but they are pretty gross. Certain types of foods seem to get about 1,000% more revolting when offered buffet-style (Chinese, pizza, etc.).

Sometimes, what’s even more disgusting than the food itself is the folks who descend on these buffets to do the unthinkable. Take a look at these tales of gluttony from AskReddit, and maybe you’ll think twice the next time you plan on heading to Chop Suey #1 Family Buffet.

1. 7 years is…a lot

7 years of pizza buffet experience. I’ve seen salad bowls full of ranch. I’ve seen huge gluttonous Southern Baptist preachers with a stack of pizza because they’re too fat and lazy to make that many trips. We had a regular who came in 2 times a week. We called him “belly shirt guy” who would stack a whole pizza on each plate per trip on top of unlimited pasta. His gut hung down below his shirt. Great turn around for him though because he started eating salads every trip. By the time I left the man has lost a good 75 lbs and actually looked healthy.

2. Chocolate Fountain

A few years back when Golden Corral first got the chocolate fountains, I went there and was going to try it out. As I was walking up to the fountain and I started to contemplate what I was going to have, a toddler takes his drink and just pours that motherfucker into the fountain and ruins it. So anyways, the manager comes over and is going ballistic because they had just set it up for the day and now they would completely have to replace the chocolate. Shortly after, this man comes up and decides he wants some chocolate brownies, but he can’t as the machine is being purged in the back of the place, so what does he do? The guy just puts his tray down and leaves the restaurant, goes to the toddler’s family’s car and slashes their tires. He was never caught after that.

That man was a different kind of devoted that the world needs.

3. “Had to sleep it off”

I don’t work at a buffet, but I was that guy.

I’d been backpacking on the Appalachian Trail for a couple months (it’s a 2,100 mile hiking trail that runs from Georgia to Maine, along the US Appalachian Mountain range). Been eating nothing but ramen & instant oatmeal since Gatlinburg. I was getting hungry, OK? I was having dreams about meat.

So my friend and I hiked down from the trail to this tiny town, Catawba, Virginia, that only has one restaurant, the Homeplace—All You Can Eat Fried Chicken.

We walk in. We sit down. A waitress brings us a platter of fried chicken and a basket of homemade biscuits. And whenever we start running low, she brings another platter.

It’s not like most buffets, where the food’s crappy and watery and sugary but at least it’s unlimited. No. It’s the best damn fried chicken I’ve ever tasted. Crisp and juicy and greasy and just perfect.

Me and my pal gorge on fried chicken. Eat at least 5lbs each. I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable, so when the waitress shows up with the next platter, I wave her off. She clears the table.

And then she comes back carrying a motherfucking blackberry cobbler.

So we polish off the cobbler (it would have been impolite not to), pay our bill, grab our backpacks from the foyer & stand on the porch, contemplating the 1,500′ climb back up to the trail. And it becomes obvious that there is no conceivable way we are climbing back up to the trail tonight.

So I go back inside and ask the hostess if there’s anywhere to camp here in town, and she tells me, “you’re welcome to sleep in the gazebo out back.” Apparently, this happens all the time.

EDIT: we were not the only hikers in the gazebo that evening. These two other dudes came in later and ate harder and had to sleep it off with us.

4. Fight!

I watched a fight break out between a customer and a manager at an all you can stack restaurant.(You pay for a plate, and you can take as much as you can stack on a single plate) Anyway this guy had his plate stacked about 12+inches high with food. As he was reaching for a serving spoon he dropped his plate. He demanded another and the manager got pissed and told him he shouldn’t have stacked it so high. He refused to give the man a refund, he pointed to a sign that said something about paying for dropped food. Apparently wasn’t the first time this had happened.

5. Steak

My little brother nearly got kicked out of a Ryans steakhouse. When he was like 12 he had a crazy high metabolism and put away like 5 steaks from their buffet at once. Went to get a 6th one and the guy grilling them up forbid him from getting another one. Manager was called, my dad got pissed, brother got his 6th and 7th steak. Was a good night

6. Good ol’ Southern cooking

Once witnessed a man eat 4 plates of food piled high (I’m talking southern food, so it was all fried foods) claim he was having a heart attack and clutch his chest, then let the biggest, most foul smelling fart I have ever experienced.

After he laughed about it, he continued to go back and eat two more plates of entrees, and a plate of desserts.

7. Wait, what?

Not an employee, but still relevant.. when I was a kid, my mom, dad and I would go to a Chinese buffet quite often. My dad would put a mountain of food on his plate then never finish it. He’d then proceed to lay down in the restaurant floor and take a nap.

He also did the mountain of food thing at other places like Golden Corral, but he only laid down in the floor at the Chinese place.

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People Who Quit Their Jobs for Mental Health Reasons Reveal What Happened Next

If you have a job that makes your life miserable and even possibly makes you sick, physically and emotionally, then sometimes you need to take a leap of faith.

That sometimes means quitting your job even when you don’t have another one lined up.

That’s exactly what these AskReddit users did. Find out what happened after they quit…

1. Now you’re on call

“Yes. I had a job that I loved. Had coworkers I loved (I’m still friends with some). Ownership changed. My job that was a M-F, 9-5, somehow turned into on call all the time. My workload was always heavy, got added onto. I would say no to additional workload. It somehow still ended up on my plate. Somewhere around a year after the ownership change, I found myself googling heart attack, and mental breakdown symptoms because I knew something wasnt right.

I finally walked into work one day and handed in my notice. No job lined up. Didnt think it through. I wrote up my notice 5min before I left for work that day. Due to bills, I ended up taking a job I was overqualified for, and made crap for pay. But after a few months I got hired to where I am now.

I do the same type of job as the one I walked away from. Did it work out for me, I’d like to say yes. But only time will tell. I will say both myself and my family are much happier right now. And I havent wondered if I’m having a mental breakdown or possible heart attack since I left. That’s a win.”

2. No regrets

“Got burnt out and quit after bullshit management changes. Luckily I saved up a good amount of money to do whatever I wanted for about 4 months until I finally felt the need to better myself and move on with my life. Got another job that was safer than my last and went back to school to further my degree! It was a much needed break, don’t regret it one bit.”

3. No more

“Yes! I quit a very high-paying job, in fact. I was a software engineer.

It was great at first. I liked my coworkers, and the company was one of those startups that had a ping pong table and coldbrew coffee on tap and all that jazz. It was my first job out of college and I was dazzled by the cool community feel and all the “amenities.”

However, they had no system in place to train me. I was basically expected to just read the codebase and just instantly know exactly what to do. My team leader couldn’t answer my questions, and I quickly started drowning in work.

My once-recreational drug use turned habitual. I was railing lines of coke in the bathroom to stay awake because I stayed until 9pm trying to finish projects by the deadline and doing benzos at night to fall asleep. Once I finally started performing well, that only reinforced my terrible habits. I thought that if I stopped “self-medicating”, I would fall behind and they would fire me.

I cried every day. I was also the only female employee on the software team, and I got these paranoid thoughts in my head that my male coworkers didn’t really like me (in retrospect, I’m sure my alienation was totally my fault and a result of my anxiety). I didn’t even like the programming anymore. When I was in college, I interned with people who were using software to help charities, uncover bogus statistics, and generally lift up communities. My job was nothing like that. The people there acted like they were curing cancer, but the majority of what we did boiled down to helping huge companies build training platforms that were more “hip” and “cool.”

So I quit. Not just that job, but the whole field. I had started abusing harder drugs as well, and I knew I was going to end up killing myself. I went to rehab, and then I went back to school and got my Master’s degree in Education with a focus in mathematics.

I’m a private tutor and a substitute teacher now. I hope to get my PhD one day, but for now I am happy helping young people realize their dreams. I set my own schedule so that I’m able to pursue my passions: volunteering at a children’s hospital tutoring sick kids that need to miss school, and helping young women from local battered women’s shelters and homeless shelters learn graphic design and programming so that they can have valuable marketable job skills.

I’m two years clean from drugs and I have the most wonderful friends and a purrfect kitty! I am so, so happy I quit my job. Even though people thought I was insane for leaving the tech field (and I’m sure my mom’s friends talked shit about me behind her back), I’m glad I didn’t pay them any mind.”

4. Turn it around

“Yeah, I had been overworked and underpaid (and underappreciated) at a small resort for months. Tempers flared and I was given an ultimatum, I chose to walk out the door in the middle of the busy season.

The next night I went to a bar and saw another resort owner (and friend) saying goodbye to his only employee (he typically had 2-3). I walked up after and the conversation went like this:

Me: that sucks, do you have anything else lined up?

Him: nope, I’ve got nothing

Me: do you need somebody to help?

Him: do you need a job?

Me: yup, as of yesterday.

Him: show up tomorrow whenever you want and you’ve got the job.

The rest of the summer I ran his cafe/ shop (I had 7 years of cooking and 2 years retail management experience) and he ran the outfitter.

The first day after showing me around the kitchen he had to go attend to something, when he came back I had 20 people already eating and I was chatting them up and cleaning. He looked around and goes “well, you’re getting a raise.” The rest of the summer was great.”

5. Anxiety

“I quit my job of a year and a half out of anger and spite for my manager, and because of my quickly declining mental health.

While it helped at first the anxiety of not having a steady source of income took a much larger toll on me than anticipated and I really didn’t get to focus on my recovery/ therapy for my mental health until I had secured a new job to quell my anxieties.”

6. Time to quit

“Radio Shack. I worked there for about three months. They paid minimum wage + commission, and the only ways to earn commissions was pushing useless extended warranties or cell phones. And we had to push batteries, like AA and AAA batteries.

We were expected to get so many of these things every so many customers – batteries were like 1 out of every 10 customers. I got a headache every time I walked in for a shift, knowing I had to push this crap on people.

The major turning point for me was when my manager – who was just an arrogant little man who was built like Danny DeVito with John C. Reilly’s face – butted into a transaction of mine. The customer was a special needs man who was buying an up-convert DVD player. It didn’t feel right to push the extras on this man, considering the circumstances. My boss saw this and forcibly took over the transaction and talked this poor man into buying extra cables and disc cleaner and warranties for everything he could.

What should have been a roughly $50 purchase for this man ended costing him close to $100 when all was said and done. The cherry on top was when the man left, manager printed a copy of his receipt, shoved up in my face and proceeded to brag about it. I quit a few weeks later. Luckily, I was able to go back to my old job for a while, while I looked for a permanent job. I ended up going back to school about a year or so later.”

7. No reward

“Left my job of 15 years with nothing lined up because it was gaining me nothing any more aside from being overused for my job knowledge with no reward.

Took a month off, found another job that pays me more per hour than my last after I got promoted to supervisor after putting in 5 months. Couldn’t be happier”

8. Bad signs

“Quit my job at a call centre without anything lined up. I used to cry in my car before a shift, used up all my sick days, and it worsened my suicidal thoughts so I got myself out of there when I couldn’t take it anymore. I quietly stood up from my desk and quit on the spot. I had never walked out on a job before.

Took me a month to find another job with just slightly less hours (so a little less money) but it was worth it because I’m a lot better mentally and physically, and I like the job. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Also people have been asking where I’m from – I’m Canadian.”

9. F that noise

“Worked a call center job after one week of training and two days of actual work.

During the training you’re shown how it’s not possible to order a free trial of these expensive products without seeing the clearly marked (in multiple locations) terms and conditions.

But then I got to the floor and these people were old people who were offered a free gift when they bought something on amazon. They never went to a website and ordered a free trial. They were lied to and then charged $80+ three weeks later.

It was a scam built to prey on old people.

I had a panic attack on the way to work and quit when I arrived. Fuck that noise.

I was a new mom and we were really hurting for money. That was my first job after having my son and we had to beg money off relatives to stay afloat another month until I found a new job which was MUCH better. I was able to be hired as a substitute for a school district and, a month later, get rehired by the same district as a teacher’s aide.

Now I’m about to finish my certification and become a teacher.”

10. Not a scammer

“I worked for a shady company that sold a $2000 vacuum/air purifier. For some reason they needed someone to go door to door offering a “contest” where you had the chance to win $1000 in gas gift cards as long as you had someone come over and give a demonstration of the vacuum cleaner. Except I later found out that the contest winner was always someone in the company, and they give it back to the company.

I decided to quit after one day, I gave my speech about the “contest” to an old lady who didn’t seem to be all there, and she was super excited about the contest. I realized I’m not cut out for scamming people.”

11. Uggghhhh

“I worked in a retail store that was farming-based, but had the political atmosphere of Game of Thrones. Everyone hated each other and constantly tried to undermine one another. If you were talking to someone that someone else didn’t like, it was known across the store, and suddenly, people would stop talking to you. As in, you would stand there and ask a question, and they would turn their back on you.

I got zero training, got promoted to “zone manager,” (more work with no extra pay), and then injured my foot falling off of one of their rickety wooden ladders.

This caused everyone to turn on me because the store had to file a workman’s comp claim, so they missed out on the annual reward: a visit to the Golden Corral buffet in January.

Anyway, after about two weeks of mind-numbing boredom and having everyone staring daggers at me while I tried to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing, I just quit. Didn’t give notice. Just left my badge and vest there and went to lunch and never came back.

It took me a few months to find another job, but at least I was no longer alternating between openly weeping and feeling physically nauseous.”

12. I don’t agree with you

“I quit after an argument with my boss because I didn’t agree with how he did things.

Within two months I started my own company doing what he did but the way I thought it should be done. I am still running that business and he shut his down 3 years ago.”

13. A horrible industry

“I quit a job working as a logistics manager for a hospital. It was the worst job I ever had. The union reps would constantly mess with you, taunting you and try to get you fired, I was constantly on edge and would basically snap over everything. I developed a huge persecution complex where everyone was out to get me.

They would purposely feed you false information that would go against required practices. For example, one of the reps gave me a fake forecast for products we needed for the upcoming week, so I was to arrange the delivery/ordering and storing for the products. When I ordered it all and had it delivered I found out we needed like 1/10th of the products that was ordered, so I had to explain to the finance department why we exceeded our weekly budget.

Basically my choices were be fired, or quit because of the colossal fuck up. I was 21 at the time, I’m now in school to get my bachelors of accounting, so I guess it turned out pretty good because I could leave that horrible industry.”

14. Back stabbers

“Oh yes. I had a good job at a college. I felt so lucky to get it (administration) but it turned out that all the employees, staff and faculty, were back-stabbers who set you up for failure. I think it’s just the way academia runs, but I didn’t know that.

I stuck it out for nearly 7 years, and started having suicidal thoughts. Once I realized I was going a little crazy, I gave my notice and quit without a net. I never got over it, though. I’ve had a lot of rough jobs, but that was the absolute worst.”

15. Quite a story

“I worked for an insurance company for 6 years. Was fun at first then went through a divorce and all five years in and stopped caring. So I quit, cashed out my 401K and drove from Indiana down to Key West and got fucking trashed for a week. Then traveled to various states and just hung out and did what the fuck ever. Lasted three months and then went back to Indiana and then went to work for a different insurance company.

I don’t regret it. It was healing and uplifting and met some cool people along the way.”

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do?

Share your story in the comments!

The post People Who Quit Their Jobs for Mental Health Reasons Reveal What Happened Next appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Man Live-Tweeted His Apartment Getting Taken over by His Neighbor’s Pets

Imagine this: you hear a knock on your door, and then you open it up to find an adorable trio of animals just staring up at you.

Twitter user JuanPa didn’t have to imagine, because it literally happened to him.

Yep, that’s right.

Cats’ll do that.

This is just nuts.

Uh-oh…

Those are some clever dogs.

What do you even do in a situation like that?

Seriously, these dogs are VERY smart.

Maybe he’ll have better luck with the cat?

Nope.

Finally, the animals are subdued…

… Or not.

The plot thickens.

Sweet relief!

Thank the stars.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

Hurray!

If only it were that easy.

What a mess.

This is too much, y’all.

Thankfully, all things must end eventually.

What a ride!

Wow! I’m tired just reading about the day he had.

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People Shared Photos of Working Cats and They Are Wonderful

In addition to sleeping up to 20 hours a day and knocking objects off of tables, cats have jobs too, okay?

Want proof? I’ll give you proof. People have been posting photos of working cats on social media, so let’s give these felines the credit they deserve.

1. All the way from Iceland

2. That is great

My tow truck driver has a cat named Dixie with a matching safety vest. from pics

3. Don’t mess with him

4. Crimefighter

5. Cat Scan Assistant

hmmm from hmmm

6. He’s in advertising

The best way to advertise your garage sale nearby from thisismylifenow

7. Don’t even think about it

Security guard from Catswithjobs

8. Cockroach Management

Dedicated Cockroach Manager from Catswithjobs

9. Col. Mittens

Colonel Mittens at your service! from Catswithjobs

10. Security from up high

Store Security from Catswithjobs

11. Foreman

PsBattle: A cat wearing an orange hard hat from photoshopbattles

12. Naturally

Hennessy is always my liquor store’s employee of the month from Catswithjobs

13. Greeter

Local Ace has greeter pirate kitty named Ace— he loves grooming customers. from Catswithjobs

14. Therapy cat

Therapy cat on patrol in the nursing home from Catswithjobs

15. Law enforcement

Oscar the police station cat. from Catswithjobs

Now it’s time to get your kitty cats in line so they can start earning their keep!

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20 Things That All Dads Do, Even Though They Have No Idea Why

Why are so many dads across the same? Even if they’ve led completely different lives? And why are dad jokes universal?

BUT… the tweets below illustrate easily how true the jokes really are – even if men don’t even realize how and when and why it starts to happen.

20. Because kids are exhausting, obvs.

19. Their backs hurt.

18. They don’t really know what year it is.

17. They have so little joy in life.

16. Safety first!

15. Seriously why do they love noise?

14. It’s very serious business.

13. Their diets are crap.

12. Ask George Costanza.

11. To irritate others, I’m pretty sure.

10. To make sure they did not, in fact, melt in their hand?

9. That’s what they need, I guess.

8. No music when it’s time to get down to business.

7. I have no idea but they totally do.

6. What even is real money?

5. They know a shortcut.

4. Because meat.

3. Because they paid for it, most likely.

2. To aid in digestion.

1. I mean that’s your opinion.

We may not know why this happens to men, but it sure is funny!

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25 of the Most Hilarious Cat Tweets out There

Need kitty tweets? Need hilarious kitty tweets?!?! Here ya go!

Please enjoy these 25 timeless cat tweets – guaranteed to make anyone’s day!

25. Derp genius.

24. A true thespian.

23. When people surprise you.

22. It works better than it would on a toddler, tbh.

21. The definition of awkward.

20. Someone teach that cat some manners!

19. Who enters my domain?

18. I believe you’re mistaken, sir.

17. Okay this caption is everything.

16. He’s practicing for his Cadbury audition.

15. What are YOU lookin’ at?

14. Beans!

13. Saves you from having to buy one of those cat fountains, though.

12. The Batman makes his own Bat Signal.

11. When she learns how to hold the iPad up for the good angle I’ll be impressed.

10. At least he knows where he goes.

9. I have no idea how this happened! None!

8. “Does this angle make me look fat?”

7. An apt description.

6. Cats are basically Regina George.

5. Fat shaming even extends to cats!

4. That’s what she gets for going to the bathroom.

3. Look closely…

2. Just turn around and go.

1. Time to set up a camera.

You’re welcome!

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15 People Admit Why They Immediately Lost Interest in Their Crush

Crushes can be all-consuming, but it turns out there are things that will make them evaporate at the drop of a hat.

The 15 things below are definitely a good (bad?) start.

15. It made me feel unimportant

Back in college I was seeing a girl casually. Whenever we’d text, she’d take hours to respond to any message. It wasn’t a big deal, since most of the time it was just chatting or setting plans for the following weekend or something. It was a little annoying because it’d take a full day or two to set up plans because of the slow responses, but whatever. I’m a bad texter so I can’t really judge someone for that.

But I started to notice that when we hung out together, she’d immediately respond back to any and every text she got. She had some loud song as the ringtone that played for like 15 seconds, and set it so that her camera LED would flash constantly while it rang. Totally obnoxious and made me really notice how often she texted. I casually asked her who she was texting one time and it was just some friend from school that had sent her a meme.

After that I realized it wasn’t going to work. Being a slow texter is fine. Constantly texting while hanging out was annoying, but not a dealbreaker (especially if we were just chilling at one of our houses). But the realization that this person who was glued to her phone but didn’t feel like it was a priority to respond back to my texts made me feel unimportant so I kinda just drifted away. We stayed friends because we shared the same group of friends and it wasn’t awkward or anything. I just stopped trying to do things with just the two of us.

14. What’s so funny?

She told me her future plans to essentially become a gold digger like her mother. When I laughed it off she couldn’t see what I thought was so funny.

13. He let it slip

He let it slip that he was cheating on his SO in getting together with me. Killed that crushy feeling dead.

12. Not in person

he wouldn’t talk to me in person for some reason

11. Right out the window

We were driving down the road and she threw a Starbucks cup right out the window. Gross.

Edit: thanks for the silver! Also, I was a passenger so I couldn’t kick her out, and I’m honestly not sure it was Starbucks—but it was easier than saying “paper coffee cup”. ?

10. He’d cut me off

He would ask me questions about myself, then cut me off in the middle of my answer to talk about himself.

9. He corrected me.

Not so much a crush, but we were in the initial sentences of the conversation getting to know each other. We were describing to one another what our jobs were. He corrected me on describing my job.. stopped right there, said it wasn’t going to work out and ended the conversation..

8. She thought it was flirty and cute

Poured lemonade on my head in the middle of a fireworks show, she thought it was flirty and cute.

7. The candle had blown out

I ran into an old crush a few years back who told me he was in to dog baiting. The candle had blown out a long time ago as far as my crush was concerned but that pretty much killed any intention I had of trying to restart our friendship.

6. The hell I will!

Crush comes to my house. I explain how I’m slowly remodeling it and my plans for my house.

She then starts telling me I shouldn’t and I should do it her way, and let her take it over and let her design, decorate, and do it all. The hell I will.

5. I pretended my parents were calling

I was casually dating a 19 year old guy when I was 18. He seemed totally normal until I met him at his house before a date and his mom asked him to take the garbage out before we left. He threw a fit that would embarrass most 3 year olds including crying, yelling at his mom, and punching the floor.

I pretended that my parents were calling and needed me to come home, blocked his number, and never saw him again.

4. Now’s the time!

Met a woman, thought she seemed cool. We went out to eat, she’s telling me about how she fell on financial hard times and moved back in with her parents. The way she described it, just sounded like she got unlucky, not that she did anything irresponsible. It happens. When the bill came I told her I’d pay. She said, “Thanks, I appreciate that, I’m trying to save my money right now.”

Me: “Sure, I understand, you want to get your own place again.”

Her: “No, actually I mean I’m trying to save up $500 for a tattoo I want to get.”

I’ve got nothing against spending money on tattoos, but when you’ve just spent a first date talking about the financial troubles you have, maybe now’s the time to start putting money away for necessities, not tattoos.

3. Not ok and not cool!

Said she would turn up on a date, then flaked. Told me she had been called into work urgently. I said ok that’s cool. Second time she flaked again said that she had to tutor someone. Which made no sense because would you not have that planned ?

2. I didn’t want to take advantage

I went on two dates with a girl when I was in college.

She was wonderful but immediately wanted to be “official” and started drafting Instagram posts about “us”. She wanted to spend every day together and have sleep overs every night. it was so out of nowhere and we literally knew nothing about one another.

I tried to look past it but she asked me to be her first and I got uncomfortable. she seemed naive and I didn’t want to take advantage. I suggested we take things slow and she took offense. I cut things off and her reaction was super childish.

All of this in a 3 week period.

Sweet girl but the pacing was off.

1. Completely one-sided

Went on a date with them and they didn’t ask me anything about myself.

It was completely one sided—like a job interview or something.

I’m a guy, by the way.

The more you know!

The post 15 People Admit Why They Immediately Lost Interest in Their Crush appeared first on UberFacts.

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Psych Ward Nurses Share the Moments That Totally Shocked Them

Working with the mentally ill or criminally insane is definitely one that only a few among us are well-suited to tackle. What a tough gig.

It’s always interesting to peek behind the curtain, and these 15 psych ward nurses are here with some truly jaw-dropping tales.

15. Naked as a jaybird

Years ago, I was a student nurse doing my psych rotation in a catholic facility. The nuns still wore habits and the building was like something out of the dark ages. I’ll skip talking about the line of patients waiting to undergo ECT treatment in the basement and instead tell you about Maggie. She was a tragic case. She had been on Lithium for years and it really kept her psychotic episodes in check until reached toxic levels and could no longer take it.

One hot summer afternoon, we heard this banshee screaming coming from Maggie’s room. We rushed in there to see what was going on. Entering the room, we are greeted by a scene I will never forget. This late seventies woman is standing on the window ledge, naked as a jay bird, screaming through the window screens at the nuns in the courtyard, “you fucking penguins are going to burn in hell”. The poor sisters are scrambling to and fro trying to get away from the ranting madwoman’s viscous verbal assault as we were trying desperately to pull her off the grating.

I knew then and there, that I would never become a psych nurse.

14. Those were the days

Prison guard here: guy cut his scrotum open to let people know he was serious (dont know about what)

Guy 2 : cut off a butt cheek (or a big part of) and threw it at me as i tried to stop him.

Guy 3: punched a wall 3 times really hard (bloody knuckles) and told me he punched the devil cos he was telling him to stab me but im cool so he told the devil to fuck off.

Guy 4: pretended to drown himself in a toilet ( basically splashed pee on his face and rolled around crying

Guy 5: had sex with a window air vent and was complient yet confused when i asked him to stop

Those were the days….

13. He played the piano like a pro

Had a catatonic guy who could play the piano like a pro, classic, jazz, ragtime, but otherwise just sat in his chair and stared.

12. She wanted to be a vampire

Not me, but someone I knew was in a ward with a girl who wanted to be a vampire and drank blood from her own tampons.

It’s as atrocious as it sounds. She was around 16 and schizophrenic.

11. That’s MY tooth!

I’m an RN in boston in a psych hospital and I’ve seen some shit.

One of the things I’ll never ever forget was we had this manic guy that had been transferred from another unit cause he kept getting in fights over there and all the other patients were trying to attack him. I was still working nights back then and at about 3am he came up to me and said his tooth hurt and he needed to see a dentist right away. I said I don’t have a dentist for him to see but when the doctor comes in the morning we can take a look.

Gave him some Tylenol and sent him back to bed.

About 5 minutes later he came out saying it really hurt and he needed to see a dentist to pull his tooth. Again I told him theres no dentist but maybe I can get some more pain meds. In the middle of me explaining this to him he sticks his hand in his mouth and rips his molar out of his head and handed it to me. Blood starts pouring out of his mouth but he did even to seem to notice. After I clean him up and get the bleeding to stop and call the doctor to get him some ativan he goes “make sure you give me that tooth back when I leave, that’s MY tooth don’t try and steal it”. Fucking wild shit.

10. He was given a whole tub

This was actually in a state hospital that is part of the prison system for mentally ill offenders.

Patient asked for Vaseline. Which is fine. They can have Vaseline, whatever.

But this patient was given a whole tub, so of course he stripped completely naked, covered himself in Vaseline, and ran. It was a secure unit, and he didn’t escape, but we couldn’t get him back into his cell all shift because he was too fucking slippery.

No more tubs.

9. I never corrected her

I was a CNA for about 4 years and the saddest ever was my client/resident constantly thought I was her daughter. She went to Harvard and was an extremely brilliant lady in her time. She was non verbal but every time I walked into her room she would exclaim “Elizabeth you came”. I loved this lady so much, she would only eat when I fed her she was extremely combative with everyone but me. I ended up quitting my job there but visited her every single day. To the point that her family kind of accepted me as their family. I finally found out that Elizabeth took her own life at 21 and the fact that she thought I was her gave her extreme joy. I never corrected her and I like to think I gave her peace when she passed holding my hand. She was an amazing lady and I miss her to this day.

8. All of our mouths were wide open

We had an older black lady who would walk up and down the ward constantly mumbling. It never stopped. I think she would get something like Thorazine to calm her down but she would fight it and her eyes would be all droopy and she’d slow down but she kept going. Nobody understood a word she said and she was there for at least over 6 months. She was punched out once by a patient while he was on the phone because she kept walking by ranting. He just lost it.

Anyway I’m up there doing a patrol one day (I was security) and shes ranting and walking up and down the ward as usual and they call her to come get her meal. She sits down and opens her tray and stops ranting and states clear as day: “I didn’t order no diabetic tray BITCH.”

Every last person turned to her and all of our mouths were wide open. That was the only thing she ever said clearly.

7. Sure as shit

We had a psych patient on our floor that wasn’t really “crazy” crazy, just really confused and unpleasant in general.

One night I was mixing his drink with some thickener, and per usual he started yelling about me poisoning him. I explained what it was and that we’re all here to help him, not hurt him, and he responds with, “I’m just going to die.” His vitals were fine, he was alert, no red flags, and like I said, he was always pretty unpleasant so I didn’t think much of it.

Sure as shit, he coded an hour later and we never got him back.

Edit: coded is slang for “code blue” which is what they call over intercom/pagers when someone’s stopped breathing, or their heart has stopped.

6. Looking for booze

Obligatory not me, but my former best friend told me the story.

She wasn’t a nurse but did an internship at a psych ward for adults and part of her internship was supervising the adults outside in the garden, making sure they didn’t harm themselves, others and/or run away and to talk to them.

She and about 5 patients were outside on a beautiful summer day, each relaxing and smoking in silence, basically just chilling like fully functioning adults. Until one woman, about early 70s (no alzheimers or something) took her chair, pulled it right next to my friend, stepped on it, clumsily climbed the stone wall surrounding the small outside area, yelled “Bye, bitches!” and ran away.

My friend and the others just sat there, staring after her, not being able to believe what they’d just seen.

She was found 15 minutes later, just wandering through the city looking for booze.

I just can’t not laugh at the thought of this granny climbing the wall and yelling “Bye, bitches” while fastly waddling away

5. Problem solved!

This might not fit perfect, but I love this story.

How about in an inpatient addiction clinic? The first one that comes to mind was something I witnessed between a patient and another floor tech. We had a man who was in serious detox, drug if choice was meth. He was throwing a huge tantrum, not uncommon in DTs, people will do just about anything to get a fix. We weren’t a locked facility, so it wasn’t like he was stuck there. He genuinely wanted help, that’s why he stuck around, and we were there to listen and help him through the shakes, hallucinations, and other symptoms.

He was slamming his fists on the desk at this point, and he had started just yelling “I just want some fucking ice!” (Slang for crystal meth) Well, the tech with me was inexperienced, although much older than me, and while I talked to him and tried to calm him down, she went back to our staff kitchen and got him a glass of ice. Like, frozen water. She brought it out to him and put it in his hand like, Problem Solved!, and the guys just froze with confusion, staring at it. The patient and I both realized at the same time she thought he wanted ice and we just started at eachother and started laughing. He was in for a rough couple of days, but I’ve never seen someone jump from near psychotic episode to giggling so fast.

4. I couldn’t have seen what I saw

When I was in nursing school I had a clinical in the state funded psyc ward downtown. I was assigned to sit with this one girl to “monitor” her behavior. She spent about thirty minutes doing nothing but eating pudding cups with a plastic spoon. She ate like 6 of them in half an hour. Then out of nowhere she very calmly licked her spoon completely clean and pulled her shirt sleeve up before shoving the entire spoon into an incision in her arm near her bicep… then very calmly said, “Ohps.”

The nurses that worked there didn’t believe me. They kept saying I was making it up and that I couldn’t have seen what I saw.

Only later on, like four hours later (it was a 12 hr clinical), the orderly notice the girl had some blood on her shirt. He took her into her room to change her clothes and noticed that an incision on her arm had dehisced and had been bleeding.

Then eventually agreed to send her to the hospital for testing.

The X-ray showed the entire spoon, sucked into the fat of her upper arm, through an incision where they’d removed a birth control implant in the week before…

Apparently the girl had slowly been picking at the sutures and opening it bit by bit until it was deep enough to fit an entire plastic spoon….

The girl admitted that the “ohps” was because it had gotten sucked in and couldn’t be pulled out, not because she’s stuck a spoon in her arm….

Totally bizarre.

3. I had to gather my thoughts

Psych ward counselor here. Early in my career I had a teenage girl with suicidal ideations and severe depression. The year before, on thanksgiving, her dad pulled a gun from under the dinner table and blew his brains out in front of everyone. I normally form a response pretty quickly, even a “wow,” but when she told me I got quiet, leaned back, exhaled, and had to gather my thoughts.

2. Straight out of the movies

I’m not a nurse but was a patient once. Giant dude got upset one dude changed the channel from a football game he was watching and smashed his skull with his fists. Not fully, but enough that when they brought him back a few days later he started seizing and had to be removed again. Didn’t see him again.

Also, there was one lady who was straight out of the movies. Walking around preaching the end of days loudly and sweating like crazy.

1. Two of her own fingers

Not a nurse, pharmacist.

Had one of our Clozapine patients miss a monthly meeting to discuss their medication. Called around, found out she was in the ICU having eaten two of her own fingers then visited her mother for coffee, still bleeding.

Had a friend tell me of another patient, made a cut in his thigh and reopened it regularly until the whole thing was a scar tissue cavern, by some miracle avoiding infection. Started using his “meat pocket” to hold pens and coins and anything he could collect in his ward. Nobody knew until a paperclip pierced the side and he finally wound up with an infection that took him to ICU where they found his stash.

Yep, I’ll stick with sitting on my butt with a computer!

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