15 People Share Tricks for Falling Asleep When You’re Not Tired

Listen up, all you insomniacs.

There are times in life when you can give into your night owl tendencies. You can stay up as late as you want, have a couple of drinks, and binge something on Netflix until your eyes go blurry – it’s lovely.

There are more times, though, when what’s coming down the pike tomorrow is more than enough reason to try to get some shut-eye, even if you’re not tired at nine or ten pm.

So how do you fall asleep before you’re ready? Well, these 15 Redditors have some tips!

15. A world of my own.

I just make up stories in my head. Sometimes I’m in the world of a TV show I like or in my own little dream universe I made where I have made up characters and such. And eventually I just fall asleep doing this.

Edit:may not be that much but I’m actually really happy about 1.8k upvotes on my first comment ever. Thank you!

14. Stories in my head.

I play some stories in my head. Like you’re suddenly a character in your favorite series and what would you do and stuff.

13. How It’s Melatonin.

How it’s Made. That shit should be called How it’s Melatonin.

12. Glad or annoyed.

basically I convince myself I’ve given up and go on my phone or play 3DS and make a plan to read something or play to a measurable point, so that there’s something that I WANT to stay awake for. Something that sleep would interrupt. Puts me right the fk to sleep, and I’m never sure if I should be glad or annoyed lol

11. Goodnight toes.

This is going to sound weird, but I slowly say good night to each of my body parts, starting with my toes and working up. Usually, I’m asleep by the time I hit my chest or so. If I’m not, I know it’s going to be a long night.

Let the reddit ridicule begin. ?

10. Works for my babies.

White noise, such as rain sounds.

9. Counting.

I learned a trick recently that helps me a lot.

I count backwards from 99. SLOWLY.

The key is to do it slowly, and I cannot emphasize the importance of that enough. Think the number, then take a pause that feels a little bit too long before thinking the next number, then take another pause.

99… pause…
98… pause…
97… pause…
96… pause…

The lowest I’ve ever counted is into the 60s or maybe the 50s before I fall asleep. Often, I’m asleep before I’m through the 80s. Sometimes I’ll lose track of what the next number is because I catch myself falling asleep, so I’ll start over, and I always fall asleep quickly after that.

Again, the key is to count backward… s l o w l y .

Before I started doing this, I used to toss and turn in bed for hours trying to fall asleep. But this knocks me out in minutes.

Maybe you’re wondering “Why start at 99? Why not 100?” If I start at 100, I hear Bono’s voice from the Rattle And Hum version of Bullet The Blue Sky, saying “Slappin’ ’em down… 100… 200…” which eventually leads to “Am I buggin’ you? Don’t mean to bug you” from Silver And Gold. And that bugs me, which makes it even harder to fall asleep, goddammit. So, I start at 99 instead, because fuck that.

8. The big sad.

Thinking about the big sad and cry myself to sleep.

7. Bob Ross.

Cheesy as it is, bob ross panting videos on youtube. He makes me feel safe an secure,

talking on and on about his animals,

i love falling asleep to the funny stories he tells about his paintings.

He calms me down a lot when I’m feeling anxious or upset (which is mainly the reason I stay up) and i can drift off dreaming about happy little clouds and trees, and a river that bob fishes in.

Or well catches a fish, gives it cpr, names it and gives him a little pat on the toot toot and sends him on his way lmao.

Edit: oh wow gold! I guess as is customary i thank the person for it. Well thank you!!

6. Oldie but goodie.

Masturbate.

5. Sad, but true.

Reading. It’s kinda sad but I’ve realized books put me to sleep now, even if it’s an exciting book.

Edit: many people are asking, so I’ll explain here: reading is not sad in itself, I love reading. I think it’s sad because reading started to put me to sleep, so I now read much less than I used to as a kid.

Oh, and thanks for the shinies!

4. Inside joke?

Thinking about all the gophers I didn’t run over in 2005

3. Not Reddit.

Well not reddit that’s for sure (sent at 2:47 in the morning)

Edit: I thankfully did end up falling asleep and yada yada etc. thanks for the silver

2. This is why I fall asleep on my kid’s floor most nights.

Pretending to be asleep.

1. Like I’ve been knocked out.

This is so silly but I watch the 09 sherlock Holmes movie with rdj. Puts my ass right to sleep like i done been knocked out

It can’t hurt to try, right?

The post 15 People Share Tricks for Falling Asleep When You’re Not Tired appeared first on UberFacts.

This Might Make You Feel Old. These 20 Songs Are Now Considered Classic Rock.

Are you ready to feel a little depressed? Cause that’s what happened when I looked over this list. We’re getting old, friends…it’s time to face the facts.

When I think of “classic rock”, I’m thinking Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, etc. And now, we have this…

But at least we have all the great memories, right?!?!

“Classic rock.” Ughhhhhh.

1. Foo Fighters – “Everlong”

2. Alanis Morissette – “Ironic”

3. Garbage – “Stupid Girl”

4. R.E.M. – “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?”

5. The Smashing Pumpkins – “Tonight, Tonight”

6. Superdrag – “Sucked Out”

7. No Doubt – “Spiderwebs”

8. The Verve Pipe – “The Freshmen”

9. Ben Folds Five – “Brick”

10. Counting Crows – “A Long December”

11. Blur – “Song 2”

12. Veruca Salt – “Seether”

13. Green Day – “Basket Case”

14. The Wallflowers, “One Headlight”

15. Fiona Apple – “Criminal”

16. Hole – “Celebrity Skin”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3dWBLoU–E

17. Bush – “Glycerine”

18. Stone Temple Pilots – “Interstate Love Song”

19. Nada Surf – “Popular”

20. Gin Blossoms – “Hey Jealousy”

See you at the retirement home!

The post This Might Make You Feel Old. These 20 Songs Are Now Considered Classic Rock. appeared first on UberFacts.

These People Saw Bad Parenting and Shared It with the World

There sure are a lot of sh*tty parents out there, huh? Parents who are rude, crude, ignorant, and have no regard for other people, kids and adults alike.

But good for these folks for exposing them to the world!

1. Just a reminder…

This is at my local park that has 5 baseball fields. The parents need to control themselves. from trashy

2. So rude

"Taking a picture of me???" – Woman changing her baby’s dirty diaper on top of an Old Navy clothing display from trashy

3. This is terrible

Parents letting their children play on the "Vietnam Women’s Memorial" Right in front of Veterans. from pics

4. Oops

These kids just destroyed this thrift shops toy section and their parents did nothing from trashy

5. Disgusting

This mother… from trashy

6. Wow. Unreal.

Someone took their measles-infected kid to the play area at Ikea. from trashy

7. So trashy.

Leaving dirty diapers at your table after leaving a restaurant is pretty trashy from trashy

8. Other people exist, folks

Letting your kid watch a movie on full volume in a restaurant… from mildlyinfuriating

9. No rules

Lifting your kids over a guard rail so you can ignore them with your smartphone while they try to destroy a display. from trashy

10. They’re busy

Neglectful parents from trashy

11. Over the line

12. Hope they charged them a sh*tload

Dealership I work at gives out loaner vehicles while we get theirs repaired. One we just got back. from trashy

13. Looks fun.

A mom and two older kids refused to leave the kids play table so kids could play. They didn’t even look up from their phones. from mildlyinfuriating

14. WHAT?

Leaving your baby in the middle of the entrance (the parents were nowhere to be seen..) from trashy

15. That’s nice

Don’t use your kid’s mental illness to be an asshole from trashy

Do yourself a favor. Don’t be like these folks. We’ll all be better off…

The post These People Saw Bad Parenting and Shared It with the World appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Moms That Are Keeping Some Pretty Juicy Details from Their Kids

It’s a mom’s job to protect kids from the scarier, dirtier, less legal ways of the world – especially the ones they know about firsthand!

The moms below have some pretty dark secrets in their closets, so I hope their kids never go looking!

15. A smile can hide a lot…

My mother always smiled at me. I can’t remember seeing her without a smile. When I grew up I discover she have chronic crippling depression.

Edit: corrected my bad english. Thanks for the gold and silver, I wasn’t expecting that. Well I just visited my parents, I talked a lot with her and told her that she that I’m proud of her, and that she can count on me. I can’t talk about her depression directly but at least I hope that make her feel a little bit better. Despite her depression she’s the strongest person I know

14. That’s a doozy!

That my High School boyfriend and I had a son at 16 years old… We went through Catholic Family Services for an ” open adoption ” we both get updates on how he is doing… even though we are not involved anymore… Also… my son is included in my will…

13. Bonus brother!

Just found out last year that my mom got pregnant in college, the guy split as soon as he found out and she never saw him again. She decided to have the baby, avoided going home when she was showing, and gave it up for adoption. My grandparents never knew (they died a few years ago) and I found out due to an ancestry.com DNA test. My half-brother contacted me and we pieced it together. She was relieved that it all came out in the end, it had been weighing on her all these years (She’s in her 70s, I’m 40 now, and my new half-brother is 52 or so). Needless to say, it was a huge surprise, I never in a million years would have guessed at that.

EDIT: Just to clear up any confusion. My mom had my brother in college, and had me in her 30s.

EDIT: Also, no, this isn’t an advertisement, it really happened and I only mentioned the site because that’s how he found me. Otherwise I don’t think we’d have ever found out. My mom was relieved that it came out, but was too scared to have ever come out with it on her own.

12. Just a small little oops…

When I graduated college, my mom casually dropped the fact that she, a tiny little Asian woman, used to deal large quantities of marijuana when she was in high school, and once had to skip a basketball game because she accidentally took a duffel bag full of weed to school instead of her gym bag.

11. My ceiling is their floor. Poetic.

I don’t want my kids to know anything about how I was raised. I really don’t.

Like, I can’t watch anything family themed without crying. Most know kid movies leave me with a lump in my throat so big I could choke on it. And as they get older it’s harder to turn my face far enough for them not to see and twice as hard to not cry.

My ceiling is their floor and I really just don’t want them to have to handle grown up problems until they are grown ups.

My wild secret is that’s why we go for walks as a family rather than the movies. The movies are somewhere my husband takes them for special one on one time so it’s still a special thing that they get to do. But I won’t make them sit through their mom having a fucking break down over some “Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind” line.

10. It’s all about perspective I guess.

One Thanksgiving, my Grandmother confessed to the family that her father had run a Speakeasy, and that she would tend bar/mind the shop while he was out on liquor runs. I think she was pretty ashamed, but I think everyone found it pretty cool and didn’t understand why she kept it a secret so long.

9. The ID is the best part of the story.

When my girlfriend (wife now) and I were first together, she was gone all summer, came back to town and we got it on. However, it was also noon. And the windows were open. And she’s a screamer. We stopped in the middle because she saw some light dancing around on the ceiling. Looked down and a cop was shining a light in. Luckily he let us off with a warning to close the windows, however, due to her height he did have to ask for her ID to verify that she was old enough (she was 22). My kids probably never need to know that.

EDIT: To answer all of the questions of “why would the cops show up?” It was a noise complaint. Our rental was super close to a bunch of apartments so the open windows and the close wall made for a perfect echo chamber.

8. It’s a family tradition.

How much of my teens I spent high. But now weed’s socially acceptable in most cases, that’s not even a thing. I’m disappointed. It’s almost fun in a way to have something to shock your kids with. My own Mom is really vanilla and is very old school. Bet she’s probably hiding the fact she runs a local swingers club or something.

7. A lot to unpack.

That I met their dad on World of Warcraft when I was 16, and ran away to be with him two days before I turned 18- he is 11 years older than me. They can know the overview but boy the details of it are real shady, especially when I am going to have to teach them internet safety and online stranger danger.

I am now divorced and their dad has moved away, and we have a positive coparent relationship and though he’s not very involved we both just want the best for the kids. Which leads me into the fact I don’t want them to know how I feel about the relationship looking back and the manipulation and emotional abuse. I don’t want my daughter to know that I wanted to abort her because I was 20 and in college and knew there was no way we could support her- and that I was HEAVILY guilted into it by their dad because of his age (at 31) “being his last chance”.

We used to sell weed by the pound out of Grandma’s basement.

Dad loves all kinds of drugs, and I have sampled most just not the heavy ruin-your-life ones. Truly I just want to be a stoner at heart.

6. Not slingers.

It is our current situation, but we are swingers.

5. Some secrets are better off buried, if you ask me.

Daughter of a mother with a wild secret, my dad was abusive, an extreme alcoholic and hit her regularly so she kicked him in the balls so hard that he couldn’t have kids (after me, obviously). He’s dead now (drunk driving, he took 4 people with him). My aunt got tipsy and told me everything.

4. PTA qualified.

I used to be an escort. If being an escort doesn’t make me a member of the PTA, nothing will.

EDIT: Thank you so much for my first gold!

3. I’m not sure how this would make me feel.

Both my parents were very honest through out most of my life but but over the summer when I was 17 my mom had mentioned that before I was born that my dad wanted to get an abortion. I had figured out on my own why my dad wanted an abortion was because we didn’t make enough money to support another child. But my mother fought for me. So my dad ended up stop drinking and smoking to be able to financially support me.

2. I’m not sure that’s genetic.

This will get buried and this story is from my dad. When I was ~19 and visiting home from college, my dad and I stayed up getting piss drunk. When I told him about my love for psychedelics, he clapped and said, “I knew it!”. I asked why and he stated that, “…Your mom was the acid queen, and we learned she was pregnant with you when she was 4 months in. We were tripping for your first couple of months.”

1. Nothing to be ashamed of.

I guess that I was a stripper for a while, and worked at a bank the same time. Don’t think I would share that, but if I heard them talk down about strippers I’d probably educate them on what it’s really like. I did what I had to do to put food on the table and give them a good life. My immediate family knows, except my step dad, and my children’s dad knows. We sometimes talk about it but not really.

Good luck keeping those doors to the past closed, mamas!

The post 15 Moms That Are Keeping Some Pretty Juicy Details from Their Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

People Are Growing out Their Toenails for Fashion. Prepare Yourself.

Fingernails? I get it. You want them to be pretty and you want to show them off to the world.

Toenails? Yikes. Especially the really long ones. They’re nightmare fuel. Also, how is this practical? Seems like you would constantly be tearing them or breaking them. Ouch.

Are these toenails real or fake? We’re no 100% sure, but we can say with confidence that we are pretty creeped out.

Enjoy!

1. Wowzers

2. My eyes!

3. Please be careful

4. Hmmmm

5. Gross

6. Ugh

7. Why?

8. Something might start living under those

9. Horror show

10. Another angle

11. OMG

12. This takes the cake

13. Just puked

14. Large and in charge

15. Okay, we’ve all had enough

View this post on Instagram

One word: BRIGHT! #toes #feet #longtoenails

A post shared by Empress Alexa (@thebarefootempress) on

Okay, time to bleach my eyeballs.

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Check out These Funny Tweets About White Claw, the Hard Seltzer Drink That Is Sweeping the Nation

White Claw is an alcoholic hard seltzer drink that is blowing up all over the place right now. Everywhere you turn, you see something about White Claw.

The boozy drink has really been on people’s minds lately because of a funny parody video featuring YouTuber Trevor Wallace.

Here are some quality tweets about the fascination with White Claw.

1. The way it goes…

2. Boom!

3. Kind of sad

4. Yes!

5. LOL

6. That would be nice

7. Fight to the death

8. NO

9. Thanks for this

10. Get with the times!

11. That’s true love

12. Bonded for life

13. Amazing

14. Now it does

15. And, one more for good measure

Bottoms up!

The post Check out These Funny Tweets About White Claw, the Hard Seltzer Drink That Is Sweeping the Nation appeared first on UberFacts.

Take a Look at This Rescue Kitty with Four Ears and One Eye

Rescuing can be just as challenging as it is rewarding.

That goes double when the animal has a deformity or some other challenge beyond which it could be hard for the average person to see, and when people first discovered Frankenkitten (Frankie for short), they surely must have wondered whether anyone would want him.

With four ears and one eye, it’s hard to blame them for wondering.

But someone did!

“He was born under a suburban house to a feral mother,” his owner, Georgi Anderson, told Bored Panda. “He was found with one living sibling but there may have been more that did not survive. The homeowners took Frankie and his brother in for several weeks to socialize them and fatten them up before bringing them to the shelter for medical care and rehoming.”

Frankie did have two eyes when he arrived, but medical issues meant one had to be removed. He also suffers from joint problems in his hind legs that cause his knees to slide in and out of place.

Without the kindness of the strangers who found him, and then those who provided him medical care to prevent sepsis, Frankie would not have survived.

His adoptive mom says that Frankie’s sweet nature struck her far more than his odd looks.

“I knew he was special in a way I couldn’t quite describe.”

She says he’s recovered well and spends his days sleeping, being “cheeky,” and annoying the dogs in the house.

A cat, pretty much, like any other.

I want to smoosh him.

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If Your Wife Is Obsessed with Amazon, You Buy Her an Amazon Birthday Cake

Photographer Emily McGuire has been married for 12 years to her husband Mac. And even though she’ll be the first one to tell you that he’s not usually one for creative presents or surprises, this birthday cake idea is definitely one for the books.

See, like many of us these days, Emily loves shopping online. If she’s anything like me, a day without an Amazon box on the porch is a sad and lonely one indeed – a fact that did not, apparently, slip her husband’s notice.

Posted by Emily McGuire Photography on Friday, July 19, 2019

So, her birthday cake was made to look like an Amazon box, complete with packing tape and shipping label frosting. The design, carried off by Sweet Dreams Bakery of Dunn, cost $50, and I’d say was worth every penny.

It looks quite delicious, too!

Posted by Emily McGuire Photography on Friday, July 19, 2019

Emily loved the cake, and said that at first she thought a real Amazon package was lying on the table.

Posted by Emily McGuire Photography on Friday, July 19, 2019

It’s a wonderful thing when you end up with deliciously edible proof that your husband actually pays attention to what you love (even if it is online shopping!), right?

If you want to check out Emily, the photographer, or the bakery: Instagram | Facebook | Facebook.

May all of your birthday cakes be so sweet and delicious, my friends. And happy ordering!

The post If Your Wife Is Obsessed with Amazon, You Buy Her an Amazon Birthday Cake appeared first on UberFacts.

Taxi Drivers Share Stories of What Happened When Someone Jumped into Their Cab and Shouted “Follow That Car!”

You’ve seen this in movies before – someone hops into a tax and hollers for the driver to “follow that car!” – but did you know it happens in real life, too?

Well, lucky for you, there are actual taxi drivers out there ready to share their stories!

15. I would have done it for free.

I’m actually a taxi driver (bike taxi/pedicab). I was hanging out a corner when a coworker of mine got a ride across the intersection.

Suddenly a guy walks up to me and tells me to “follow that cab, but keep a distance”. This guy looked current or ex military: demeanor, haircut, attitude… has one of those earbuds like the agents from the Matrix. Exuded the vibe of being very professional/competent and not giving a fuck at the same time.

So I was born for this moment. I read all the Tom Clancy books as a kid, all the books about spycraft during WWII and the cold war, every spy movie ever made, etc. I kept about 100 yards distance and then would accelerate when they went around a curve anytime they were near a light or intersection (I have all the lights memorized) to ensure we would make the same light but a little later than they did. At one point a car pulls up alongside and another guy switches places with the original guy and we keep going. After about 12 blocks the pedicab pulls over ahead of us and the guy tells me to pull over. Hands me $20 for a $12 ride, although I would have done it for free just to live my 9 year old fantasy.

Probably just local cops, but I can dream

14. What are you screaming about?

Friend of mine is a taxi driver and this has happened to him. An elderly man rushed inside his taxi and pointed out loud to follow a red Toyota. This man never explains why to follow, just tries to franticly call to somewhere. My friend asked multiple times if they need to call police but the man just waved no and pointed to follow the car. They circle around the town finally ending up to a front of a house where the car followed parks. As the car stop, man says “Hold on a moment, I’ll pay!” and jumps out of the car. An elderly lady steps out of the red Toyota and the man, apparently her husband, starts to scream “Why did you left me at the mall??!!”. Woman is waving her hands screaming back “What are you screaming about, you are here??!!” and walks inside the house like nothing has happened. Man returns and pays the drive, being sorry about it all at the same time.

My friend thought they were following a burglar or something, but it turned out the lady just forgot her husband at the mall. Funny situation in a way, but sad in a way too as my friend said. Dementia…

Edit: sleepy typos

13. He pulled over and refused.

A personal trainer at my old gym did this. He saw a guy shoot another guy in the head and jump into a car, so he got into a cab so the shooter wouldn’t get away.

The cabbie followed the car for a bit until he learned that he was following a murderer, then he pulled over and refused.

Turns out, the shooter was an undercover police officer, who sped away because he thought the victim’s friends would get to the scene before the cops.

12. Disappointing.

I followed the car. It stopped in a suburban house. Dude went into the house. They were his family and didn’t have room for him with them. ¯(ツ)/¯

11. I hope you were well paid.

Been driving a cab for about a year now, usually working the 6p-3a shift. My dispatcher radios me to a house 5 mins till the end of my shift. Short 2 minute drive later (small city) I pull up in the circle driveway as a car pulls out the other end and speeds off, the largest man I have ever seen in my life comes barreling out of the house like a fucking bull and jumps in my cab “did you see the car that left, follow it”. I caught up to the car and followed it out to the highway, as soon as it got on the highway the car put on its hazard lights and floors it. The mountain of a man in the back seat “my wife is in labor and my father-in-law is driving” tells me to catch up and he’d give a $200. So naturally I floor at it going about 90 mph in a 45 zone. His father-in-law happened to be the city police chief and had called in an escort, looked in my rear view mirror and see 4 cop cars about a mile off and catching up quick, I panicked and almost started to slow down when he told me they were an escort. Sure enough 2 of the cops go speeding past me like I was in park, keep in mind I’m still going 90 mph. The other two pull behind me as we still had 2-3 miles to go, another minute or two passes and we come squealing up to the E.R., two nurses already waiting outside. He thanks me, hands me the money and jumps out of the car.

TL;DR got a police escort with a pregnant women’s husband and made $200

10. So, I started driving.

Not entirely related, but I once had somebody jump into my car and I wasn’t even a taxi.

I was driving down the street in Boston and was stopped at a red light, minding my own business. Suddenly, my passenger door flung open and someone climbed in. Completely shocked, I didn’t even have time to react. For some reason it never entered my mind that I should be alarmed or concerned about this trespasser, so when I saw that it was an elderly lady I just remained calm. Without skipping a beat, she said in a thick Russian accent, “you take me home, please.” So, I started driving.

I asked where she lived but she just said “keep going, I tell you when to stop.” At that point it dawned on me that she probably had dementia and that she likely thought I was someone she knew, or maybe even a taxi. Nope. After a few minutes of conversation it was abundantly clear that this woman had simply picked the first car she saw, gotten in, and requested a ride. During the 10-minute car ride she asked about my life. I was in college studying psychology at the time, and when I told her this she said “you make good psychologist, very nice boy.” It put a big smile on my face. My grandparents had all died either before I was born or during early childhood, so I don’t think I had ever had an elderly person say something like that to me. It felt nice.

Finally we reached an apartment building and she told me to pull over. When I put the car in park she turned to me and said “thank you driving me today.” I assured her it was no problem at all and wished her the best, and her parting words to me as she climbed out were “very good boy, good luck with studies.” After pausing for a moment, I drove away and just kind of let it be. It was such a nonchalant and comfortable interaction that I resisted my temptation to immediately text friends to tell them what had happened. It felt like that would have cheapened it, or turned it into a novelty. It was just so natural and I went with it.

She’s unlikely to be alive at this point, but I hope she enjoyed the rest of her days. Godspeed, Russian-grandma-I-had-for-a-day.

9. Womp-womp.

Yes, but it’s usually followed by “I’ve always wanted to say that”.

8. I wrote a statement.

I was in New Orleans once and a cab i was in got sideswiped by a drunk driver. The drunk driver then took off. I told the cab to follow him which he did. We ended up in a parking lot and we watched them go into an apartment building. Cabbie had the station call the cops. I wrote a statement for the cabbie and he called me a new cab while he wanted for the cops.

7. Weirdest summer.

I drove a taxi one summer in a party resort.

One night, 2 guys jumped in and yelled ” follow that car”, which was another taxi that I knew the driver of and I obliged. Turns out, one of their mates was drunk af and decided to just go to their hotel w/o telling them. They only saw the guy leaving the club drunk and they thought he was going to a strip club without them. He was actually going to their hotel, as he was hammered.

Another time 3 girls jumped in the car and said follow that car. The car in question was a black sedan, tinted back windows. Yet wasn’t that shady imho. We follow the car for 15 minutes, leaving the resort going into a forest. The girls start freaking out, as one of their friends( also a girl) was seen stepping into that car. Yeah, turns out, that she just hooked up with some guy in the club they were earlier and she was about to suck his D when we pulled up next to them.

Weirdest summer.

6. Once a cheater…

I asked a taxi driver that question many years back. He said that happened on 2 separate occasions and both times, a wife was trying to catch her cheating husband committing adultery.

Update: i have been getting a lot of comments on whether the husband cheated on the wife twice. I’m not sure about that but the story that I was told was 2 different couples. Also, one of the wives actually caught her husband meeting his mistress.

5. Nothing serious.

Oh god I have a really bad story for this

I used to drive a taxi for my uncles company. A guy gets in my taxi, says “just follow that car” and reassures me its nothing serious. Except when the other car stops, he gets out and runs to the car we were following and drags the guy out and starts hitting him in the face, hard. I got out and was yelling at him and calling him an asshole for lying to me, and he got all in my face and threatened to beat the shit out of me too, said a bunch of racist slurs at me, then ran off.

The guy who got punched had his nose broken. The weirdest part is that he had no idea who that guy was.

4. I thought I was going to die.

Ooh I’m not a taxi driver, but I was the passenger for a story that is similarly clichéd.

Back when I was an actor/active drug addict/alcoholic (what’s the difference, I know) I had a director threaten to recast me a week before the show if I was late to rehearsal again. To put that into perspective, recasting a major role after rehearsals have started is generally unheard of, and almost unthinkable so late in the rehearsal process. She was REALLY fed up with me.

On this particular day, I was running late as usual and had five minutes to get to rehearsal. It was a 10 minute walk or a 5 minute drive.

I flagged a cab, hopped in and said “I need you to take me to this address and, if you can, I need you to step on it.”

The driver smiled wide and said “I’ve always wanted to hear that.”

Cue him putting the pedal to the metal. Within 10 seconds we were approaching 65MPH on a 30MPH city street, weaving through traffic, clipping yellow lights too close for comfort, and generally whipping this cab around in an extraordinarily haphazard and irresponsible fashion. I was stunned; wide-eyed; in absolute shock and terror; unable to process that he quite literally heeded my request or that this was actually happening. I thought I was going to die. It was the best cab ride of my life.

I was two minutes early to rehearsal.

3. Emergencies mean different things to different people.

I left my flute on a bus. I was not about to get my ass whooped for forgetting my $1000 silver hollow stick on my way to orchestra practice.

2. He just took off.

I did that once as a passenger. We said it as a joke. We were in a group of 6 and couldn’t fit in a single cab. So I went into the second cab and said, “follow that cab.” We expected the driver to laugh it off and ask for our destination. Instead, he just took off and followed the first cab.

1. Relevant.

I like this question a lot. Since there aren’t that many relevant responses yet, I checked out some older threads. There were some good responses in them, which I figured I’d share here:

/u/raleighstark said here:

My dad used to drive taxis for a short while and he once gave a man a free ride because the first thing he said upon getting in the taxi was “follow that car”. My dad always wanted someone to say it to him and was overjoyed
/u/Mr_Good_Konsumer said here:

I’m not a taxi driver, but a police officer. I was moonlighting at a club and a fight broke out inside. The bouncers had an unusually hard time getting this one guy out of the club. I went inside to help and he took a swing at me, he then took off running out of the club down the street. I gave chase, but this guy was fast, I didn’t have a chance at catching him. I chased him maybe two blocks and saw a taxi sitting in front of this other club. I jumped in the taxi and told the driver to follow him. We caught up with the guy and as we approached him, he was attempting to flag us down. I told the taxi driver to stop for him and as he opened the door there I was, he was too surprised to do anything but stand there. I placed him under arrest and called for another unit to come pick us up.
/u/_taxi_driver_ said here:

Often I’d get people hopping in and saying “just follow that cab” without giving any real destination. They just had too many people in their group for one taxi. That’s not exciting.

But one night I picked up four guys having a bachelor party and one had left their phone in a taxi earlier in the day and had been tracking it using another’s phone. 45 minutes of speeding all over the city, cutting taxis off that might be the one with the phone while four grown men hop out of my car in the middle of traffic and swarm the unsuspecting drivers to inquire about the missing phone. Must have scared the hell out of them. We finally found it. The meter said $60. They gave me $120. Not the most exciting story but definitely the most fun fare I’ve ever had.

I’ve never wanted to be a cab driver so bad in my life!

The post Taxi Drivers Share Stories of What Happened When Someone Jumped into Their Cab and Shouted “Follow That Car!” appeared first on UberFacts.

A Funny Man Resigned from His Job with a Condolence Card

If you’ve ever had a job you knew you had to leave, then you know what a feeling of relief it is to be able to hand in your notice and count the days until you can leave.

As someone who endured the specific hell that is working in a call center, I can definitely relate to 22-year-old Sam Baines’ elation at being about to move on to something new (in his case, furthering his education).

Sam decided it was time to leave his position and return to school, but instead of typing up a typical two weeks notice, he decided to give his boss a card expressing his condolences, instead.

“My last day at work is the 28th July,” the UK man wrote. “Thinking of you at this difficult time.”

Baines explained that he had a great team and manager, and that the group was always keen on laughing and joking around, so he felt confident his decision to make light of the occasion wouldn’t be taken poorly.

“I knew my boss would find it funny so I wasn’t worried about how they’d take it. I came up with the idea because I was always joking about how much they’d miss me when I was gone, then thought a condolences card would be the perfect way to finish it off.”

One of his team members, Hannah, shared the card on Twitter and confirmed that everyone in the office loved his way of saying goodbye.

“Everyone was laughing and pretty amuse with the card. It was done in good spirit and not as a petty reaction as some people think.”

Not only did everyone on Twitter love it, too, but more people have quit their jobs this way than you’d probably have thought!

Including this person, who used the exact same card. What are the chances?!

And these people, who were equally creative.

If I ever have another office job full of people with good senses of humor (or full of people I want to give the finger to upon departing, I know just how to do it!

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