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Taxi Drivers Share Stories of What Happened When Someone Jumped into Their Cab and Shouted “Follow That Car!”

You’ve seen this in movies before – someone hops into a tax and hollers for the driver to “follow that car!” – but did you know it happens in real life, too?

Well, lucky for you, there are actual taxi drivers out there ready to share their stories!

15. I would have done it for free.

I’m actually a taxi driver (bike taxi/pedicab). I was hanging out a corner when a coworker of mine got a ride across the intersection.

Suddenly a guy walks up to me and tells me to “follow that cab, but keep a distance”. This guy looked current or ex military: demeanor, haircut, attitude… has one of those earbuds like the agents from the Matrix. Exuded the vibe of being very professional/competent and not giving a fuck at the same time.

So I was born for this moment. I read all the Tom Clancy books as a kid, all the books about spycraft during WWII and the cold war, every spy movie ever made, etc. I kept about 100 yards distance and then would accelerate when they went around a curve anytime they were near a light or intersection (I have all the lights memorized) to ensure we would make the same light but a little later than they did. At one point a car pulls up alongside and another guy switches places with the original guy and we keep going. After about 12 blocks the pedicab pulls over ahead of us and the guy tells me to pull over. Hands me $20 for a $12 ride, although I would have done it for free just to live my 9 year old fantasy.

Probably just local cops, but I can dream

14. What are you screaming about?

Friend of mine is a taxi driver and this has happened to him. An elderly man rushed inside his taxi and pointed out loud to follow a red Toyota. This man never explains why to follow, just tries to franticly call to somewhere. My friend asked multiple times if they need to call police but the man just waved no and pointed to follow the car. They circle around the town finally ending up to a front of a house where the car followed parks. As the car stop, man says “Hold on a moment, I’ll pay!” and jumps out of the car. An elderly lady steps out of the red Toyota and the man, apparently her husband, starts to scream “Why did you left me at the mall??!!”. Woman is waving her hands screaming back “What are you screaming about, you are here??!!” and walks inside the house like nothing has happened. Man returns and pays the drive, being sorry about it all at the same time.

My friend thought they were following a burglar or something, but it turned out the lady just forgot her husband at the mall. Funny situation in a way, but sad in a way too as my friend said. Dementia…

Edit: sleepy typos

13. He pulled over and refused.

A personal trainer at my old gym did this. He saw a guy shoot another guy in the head and jump into a car, so he got into a cab so the shooter wouldn’t get away.

The cabbie followed the car for a bit until he learned that he was following a murderer, then he pulled over and refused.

Turns out, the shooter was an undercover police officer, who sped away because he thought the victim’s friends would get to the scene before the cops.

12. Disappointing.

I followed the car. It stopped in a suburban house. Dude went into the house. They were his family and didn’t have room for him with them. ¯(ツ)/¯

11. I hope you were well paid.

Been driving a cab for about a year now, usually working the 6p-3a shift. My dispatcher radios me to a house 5 mins till the end of my shift. Short 2 minute drive later (small city) I pull up in the circle driveway as a car pulls out the other end and speeds off, the largest man I have ever seen in my life comes barreling out of the house like a fucking bull and jumps in my cab “did you see the car that left, follow it”. I caught up to the car and followed it out to the highway, as soon as it got on the highway the car put on its hazard lights and floors it. The mountain of a man in the back seat “my wife is in labor and my father-in-law is driving” tells me to catch up and he’d give a $200. So naturally I floor at it going about 90 mph in a 45 zone. His father-in-law happened to be the city police chief and had called in an escort, looked in my rear view mirror and see 4 cop cars about a mile off and catching up quick, I panicked and almost started to slow down when he told me they were an escort. Sure enough 2 of the cops go speeding past me like I was in park, keep in mind I’m still going 90 mph. The other two pull behind me as we still had 2-3 miles to go, another minute or two passes and we come squealing up to the E.R., two nurses already waiting outside. He thanks me, hands me the money and jumps out of the car.

TL;DR got a police escort with a pregnant women’s husband and made $200

10. So, I started driving.

Not entirely related, but I once had somebody jump into my car and I wasn’t even a taxi.

I was driving down the street in Boston and was stopped at a red light, minding my own business. Suddenly, my passenger door flung open and someone climbed in. Completely shocked, I didn’t even have time to react. For some reason it never entered my mind that I should be alarmed or concerned about this trespasser, so when I saw that it was an elderly lady I just remained calm. Without skipping a beat, she said in a thick Russian accent, “you take me home, please.” So, I started driving.

I asked where she lived but she just said “keep going, I tell you when to stop.” At that point it dawned on me that she probably had dementia and that she likely thought I was someone she knew, or maybe even a taxi. Nope. After a few minutes of conversation it was abundantly clear that this woman had simply picked the first car she saw, gotten in, and requested a ride. During the 10-minute car ride she asked about my life. I was in college studying psychology at the time, and when I told her this she said “you make good psychologist, very nice boy.” It put a big smile on my face. My grandparents had all died either before I was born or during early childhood, so I don’t think I had ever had an elderly person say something like that to me. It felt nice.

Finally we reached an apartment building and she told me to pull over. When I put the car in park she turned to me and said “thank you driving me today.” I assured her it was no problem at all and wished her the best, and her parting words to me as she climbed out were “very good boy, good luck with studies.” After pausing for a moment, I drove away and just kind of let it be. It was such a nonchalant and comfortable interaction that I resisted my temptation to immediately text friends to tell them what had happened. It felt like that would have cheapened it, or turned it into a novelty. It was just so natural and I went with it.

She’s unlikely to be alive at this point, but I hope she enjoyed the rest of her days. Godspeed, Russian-grandma-I-had-for-a-day.

9. Womp-womp.

Yes, but it’s usually followed by “I’ve always wanted to say that”.

8. I wrote a statement.

I was in New Orleans once and a cab i was in got sideswiped by a drunk driver. The drunk driver then took off. I told the cab to follow him which he did. We ended up in a parking lot and we watched them go into an apartment building. Cabbie had the station call the cops. I wrote a statement for the cabbie and he called me a new cab while he wanted for the cops.

7. Weirdest summer.

I drove a taxi one summer in a party resort.

One night, 2 guys jumped in and yelled ” follow that car”, which was another taxi that I knew the driver of and I obliged. Turns out, one of their mates was drunk af and decided to just go to their hotel w/o telling them. They only saw the guy leaving the club drunk and they thought he was going to a strip club without them. He was actually going to their hotel, as he was hammered.

Another time 3 girls jumped in the car and said follow that car. The car in question was a black sedan, tinted back windows. Yet wasn’t that shady imho. We follow the car for 15 minutes, leaving the resort going into a forest. The girls start freaking out, as one of their friends( also a girl) was seen stepping into that car. Yeah, turns out, that she just hooked up with some guy in the club they were earlier and she was about to suck his D when we pulled up next to them.

Weirdest summer.

6. Once a cheater…

I asked a taxi driver that question many years back. He said that happened on 2 separate occasions and both times, a wife was trying to catch her cheating husband committing adultery.

Update: i have been getting a lot of comments on whether the husband cheated on the wife twice. I’m not sure about that but the story that I was told was 2 different couples. Also, one of the wives actually caught her husband meeting his mistress.

5. Nothing serious.

Oh god I have a really bad story for this

I used to drive a taxi for my uncles company. A guy gets in my taxi, says “just follow that car” and reassures me its nothing serious. Except when the other car stops, he gets out and runs to the car we were following and drags the guy out and starts hitting him in the face, hard. I got out and was yelling at him and calling him an asshole for lying to me, and he got all in my face and threatened to beat the shit out of me too, said a bunch of racist slurs at me, then ran off.

The guy who got punched had his nose broken. The weirdest part is that he had no idea who that guy was.

4. I thought I was going to die.

Ooh I’m not a taxi driver, but I was the passenger for a story that is similarly clichéd.

Back when I was an actor/active drug addict/alcoholic (what’s the difference, I know) I had a director threaten to recast me a week before the show if I was late to rehearsal again. To put that into perspective, recasting a major role after rehearsals have started is generally unheard of, and almost unthinkable so late in the rehearsal process. She was REALLY fed up with me.

On this particular day, I was running late as usual and had five minutes to get to rehearsal. It was a 10 minute walk or a 5 minute drive.

I flagged a cab, hopped in and said “I need you to take me to this address and, if you can, I need you to step on it.”

The driver smiled wide and said “I’ve always wanted to hear that.”

Cue him putting the pedal to the metal. Within 10 seconds we were approaching 65MPH on a 30MPH city street, weaving through traffic, clipping yellow lights too close for comfort, and generally whipping this cab around in an extraordinarily haphazard and irresponsible fashion. I was stunned; wide-eyed; in absolute shock and terror; unable to process that he quite literally heeded my request or that this was actually happening. I thought I was going to die. It was the best cab ride of my life.

I was two minutes early to rehearsal.

3. Emergencies mean different things to different people.

I left my flute on a bus. I was not about to get my ass whooped for forgetting my $1000 silver hollow stick on my way to orchestra practice.

2. He just took off.

I did that once as a passenger. We said it as a joke. We were in a group of 6 and couldn’t fit in a single cab. So I went into the second cab and said, “follow that cab.” We expected the driver to laugh it off and ask for our destination. Instead, he just took off and followed the first cab.

1. Relevant.

I like this question a lot. Since there aren’t that many relevant responses yet, I checked out some older threads. There were some good responses in them, which I figured I’d share here:

/u/raleighstark said here:

My dad used to drive taxis for a short while and he once gave a man a free ride because the first thing he said upon getting in the taxi was “follow that car”. My dad always wanted someone to say it to him and was overjoyed
/u/Mr_Good_Konsumer said here:

I’m not a taxi driver, but a police officer. I was moonlighting at a club and a fight broke out inside. The bouncers had an unusually hard time getting this one guy out of the club. I went inside to help and he took a swing at me, he then took off running out of the club down the street. I gave chase, but this guy was fast, I didn’t have a chance at catching him. I chased him maybe two blocks and saw a taxi sitting in front of this other club. I jumped in the taxi and told the driver to follow him. We caught up with the guy and as we approached him, he was attempting to flag us down. I told the taxi driver to stop for him and as he opened the door there I was, he was too surprised to do anything but stand there. I placed him under arrest and called for another unit to come pick us up.
/u/_taxi_driver_ said here:

Often I’d get people hopping in and saying “just follow that cab” without giving any real destination. They just had too many people in their group for one taxi. That’s not exciting.

But one night I picked up four guys having a bachelor party and one had left their phone in a taxi earlier in the day and had been tracking it using another’s phone. 45 minutes of speeding all over the city, cutting taxis off that might be the one with the phone while four grown men hop out of my car in the middle of traffic and swarm the unsuspecting drivers to inquire about the missing phone. Must have scared the hell out of them. We finally found it. The meter said $60. They gave me $120. Not the most exciting story but definitely the most fun fare I’ve ever had.

I’ve never wanted to be a cab driver so bad in my life!

The post Taxi Drivers Share Stories of What Happened When Someone Jumped into Their Cab and Shouted “Follow That Car!” appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Funny Man Resigned from His Job with a Condolence Card

If you’ve ever had a job you knew you had to leave, then you know what a feeling of relief it is to be able to hand in your notice and count the days until you can leave.

As someone who endured the specific hell that is working in a call center, I can definitely relate to 22-year-old Sam Baines’ elation at being about to move on to something new (in his case, furthering his education).

Sam decided it was time to leave his position and return to school, but instead of typing up a typical two weeks notice, he decided to give his boss a card expressing his condolences, instead.

“My last day at work is the 28th July,” the UK man wrote. “Thinking of you at this difficult time.”

Baines explained that he had a great team and manager, and that the group was always keen on laughing and joking around, so he felt confident his decision to make light of the occasion wouldn’t be taken poorly.

“I knew my boss would find it funny so I wasn’t worried about how they’d take it. I came up with the idea because I was always joking about how much they’d miss me when I was gone, then thought a condolences card would be the perfect way to finish it off.”

One of his team members, Hannah, shared the card on Twitter and confirmed that everyone in the office loved his way of saying goodbye.

“Everyone was laughing and pretty amuse with the card. It was done in good spirit and not as a petty reaction as some people think.”

Not only did everyone on Twitter love it, too, but more people have quit their jobs this way than you’d probably have thought!

Including this person, who used the exact same card. What are the chances?!

And these people, who were equally creative.

If I ever have another office job full of people with good senses of humor (or full of people I want to give the finger to upon departing, I know just how to do it!

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19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time

Sometimes, people are rude. And rude people are just asking for petty vengeance. I know some of these 19 AskReddit tales of trifling retribution might seem over the top, but rudeness is simply not to be borne – not in civil society, anyway. In my experience, the only way a rude person learns to dial back the sass is by facing consequences. So I cheered as I read these stories, cheered for the cause of justice!

1. He wanted water…

Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.

2. *GASP*

My sister posted a very anti-LGBT article on Facebook when the North Carolina bathroom bill was passed. She claimed she “no longer felt safe” shopping at Target if she might “be forced to use a bathroom” with a trans person. (The horror!)

So for her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card.

XOXO,

Your very gay brother ♥

3. That’s only fair

Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.

So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.

He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.

4. lol, nice

My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. but anyway, I still have login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters.” Petty, but it makes me laugh.

5. Pop pop!

When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch “Handbook” – it was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun.

My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book.

You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil.

I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to “work”, so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering – it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.

6. Mild irritation is the most fun level

My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas.

When she’s being irritating and asks for a cuppa she gets very plain, boring builders mugs and I delight at the mild irritation it brings.

7. Hello, Jim from The Office

Speeding up a coworker’s double click speed and watch him squirm when his normal double clicking speed isn’t working.

8. That’s a good point to stop

I once had a colleague I didn’t appreciate, so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his curser right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.

9. Eff that guy

I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck.

Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.

I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.

An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).

If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.

He retook that class.

10. What’d he do to you??

Listing a Playstation 4 as brand new on multiple second hand goods websites, for $50. I used my old landlord’s phone number as the contact number, ‘cos that guy was malicious.

He had to change numbers.

11. These are…genius. You’re a genius.

I have two with a previous landlord / property management company.

I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that “included high speed internet” … the setup was basically one awful router for 14x townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say it was crap, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire us in so we could add our own. No dice.

Eventually I paid to get my own service and added 2x routers in our unit. I changed the SSID to match what the “free” router was, and kept the passwords the same… so to the residents it looked like there was better coverage.

After about two weeks I changed one router’s password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the “free” router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn’t reach the outside world. They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3x new routers to help with coverage.

The other was after a huge snowfall (~24″ in 24 hours) …. the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days … after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks / snow blowers / etc to take care of things… the response I got was basically “Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later”.

… side note – years ago if you opened a yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it.

I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an ebay listing for “snow plow” “snow blower” “snow shovel” or there was a “sale on X snow removal” gear…. it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.

They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it…. so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually we got the driveway plowed and life was good.

12. That’s crappy! 

We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper…. that’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty bottom.

13. Playing with Himself

I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment).

So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy’s son would always turn up in some band or another. He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah.

One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members.

So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his “solo” he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason.

Really the most petty thing I’ve ever done, but revenge is sweet. (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine)

14. Brat

My boyfriend’s uncle and 7 year old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little brat. I was holding her yorkie when she came over and yanked her from my arms.

No more than 20 minutes later I went out and bought some dog treats. Everyday when I come home I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of her’s.

15. That’s gotta be detention!

This dude in my accounting class in high school used to ask me for answers to questions, only to spout them to the teacher like he’d worked them out, thereby looking like a genius and getting credit for my work.

One day our teacher comes into class with a pierced tongue and is talking sort of funny. Terry, as his name is, proceeds to use it as a point of conversation. “Hey miss, do you have any other piercings, like your ear?” “No,”, she responds, thinking he’s making inane conversation. “Would you get your nose pierced?” He keeps asking, just to prolong the time before class starts.

As usual, he leans over asking for help. “What are some other good things to ask her?” I was annoyed that he always asked for my help to benefit him, so I thought I’d have some fun. “Labia, ask if she’s going to get her labia pierced.” “What is a labia?” he says. “Oh, sorry, it means eyebrow, that’s like the piercing name for it. Like how a tragus is that nose piercing, yeah?” “Oh cool! Hey miss, are you going to get your labia pierced next?”

Every girl, and especially the teacher, in the class looked at him like he was trash, and he tried blaming me, but I brushed it off gracefully.

16. Wrecked

Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iphone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can’t leave your pc or bag or food/drink unattended when he’s around.

So I beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my mate is on the screen. Lecturer doesn’t realise yet, people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a penis on the picture too. Mate was red in the face and trying to hide. Lecturer finally noticed and says “Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?”

Finally for a fleeting moment I actually wrecked that dude.

17. …pretty sketchy boss

I had a 6 month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities).

A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court.

He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shippings precisely. Of course he didn’t. And of course I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up.

18. Good, that guy sounds like a jerk.

Work related- My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full days work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barley to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer. For 4 hours he couldn’t do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn’t take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn’t have Internet access. Half way through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn’t claim my work, and I begun to get noticed more.

19. PWNED

When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20 dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year old me it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I stole just one 20 — still a lot of money to me. So I did.

For years I would remember it every once and a while and feel guilty. The worst part was, when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.

15 years later, I’m hanging around with him on the holidays. I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs. I sneak into his wallet, see there’s a few 20s, and I slide an extra one in there. Got him!

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People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day

Some of these folks had to go through some seriously humiliating situations.

And it all started with a simple question: What’s the most embarrassing thing a parent has done to you?

Enjoy this cavalcade of craziness…

16. “Dad! Why can’t we go to the fair?!?”

Here’s a story that my dad never told me but my uncle shared after my dad passed.

He was madly in love with a girl when he was 17 years old. They were soul mates, lovers meant to be, engaged to be married and grow old together, all that sweet jazz.

They went to the county fair one year and decided to ride the Ferris Wheel. About the time they got to the top and started heading back down the safety bar came unhooked and swung open. My dad grabbed her and held onto the seat. He tried to hold her but he couldn’t.

She fell to her death.

My dad never mentioned it, never said a word to anyone, even to my mom. My uncle said her death broke his heart and he was never the same again, until after I was born.

He would never let me go to fairs, amusement parks, or any place with rides when I was growing up and we used to get into big fights about it when all my friends were going.

He always told me it was just because they were dangerous and didn’t want me to get hurt.

15. This art is s**t!

When I was six years old my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie. Annie was a very artistic girl; she loved to color and draw everything she saw.

One day, I was playing Star Fox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Annie was watching. Of course, being too absorbed in the game, I never turned around to see her greatest work of art.

My mom walks in the room to check on us and does a gasp to end all gasps. Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it.

It was Star Fox doing a barrel roll except she made it with a load of diarrhea she scooped out of her pants.

14. The other child…

Apparently, our dad had another kid about eight years older than me.

My mom blurted something out about it after their divorce when she was pissed about something. It was along the lines of, “if he thinks he can forget you exist like that other kid of his.” She then turned very white and I was never able to get more out of her than that.

My dad pretends he doesn’t know what I’m talking about but has apparently told my brother a bit of the story and then backtracked and never talked about it again.

So yeah, apparently I’m not the oldest.

13. The clairvoyant kid!

A few weeks ago, I was getting breakfast ready for my three-year-old when he nonchalantly told me his Grandma fell down the stairs.

About an hour later, Grandpa calls us to tell us Grandma had fallen down the stairs.

Also last weekend, he said my sister was going to visit the next day.

Guess who showed up the next day for a “surprise” visit?

12. Harry Potter trash…

Back in the day (2005) I was 14 and I would print out my erotic Harry Potter fan fiction to read at night, as we didn’t have portable devices like smartphones back then. I always threw them away after.

One day my mom gave me a gigantic see-through bag for trash and that night I read some of the good stuff and then put it in there.

There was probably like 15 pages of printed out smut. While I was at school she rooted through my trash.

She confronted me when I came home like “Why are Fred and George getting intimate with Hermione? What are these stories?? Where do you get them? Are they all like this??”

So so bad. I think I died and I’ve been a ghost for the last 13 years.

11. This one just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

My mom once pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a family Christmas dinner.

I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for any potential self-harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I’ve never physically harmed myself before in my entire life.

I was 18 years old at the time, and thankfully I was wearing underwear so it was not as bad as it could have been.

Nevertheless, she should not be allowed to consume alcohol ever again.

10. Ignoring the eating disorder…

My family never talks about my sister’s eating disorder. She eats a ton and goes on to vomit. She goes jogging for one hour or more per day (every day, no breaks even though her knees hurt like crazy) and refuses to eat any carbs, fruits and vegetables only.

I seem to be the only one who realizes the magnitude of this, and the only one who thinks of this as a sickness, not as a “temporary phase.”

It’s been like this for three years already, and I have no idea when my parents noticed. Whenever I say something I get “shushed” at and later have to justify my “insensitive behavior” in front of my parents. So I just kind of gave up on arguing.

Not sure what I can do to change things without disrupting the family.

9. A dog with amazing comedic timing!

One Thanksgiving, my grandmother ran out of counter space and stuff was sorta burning like crazy on top of the stove. She took out the turkey on the tray, looked around, and put it on the ground for like three seconds.

She intended for it to be there for three seconds.

Her dog, Rosco, had been following her all day.

Earlier she tossed him a turkey giblet, and I guess that didn’t sit well with him. He defecated all over my grandma’s leg, floor, and freshly-cooked turkey in one explosive two-second blast of fiery diarrhea.

8. Who’s the monster?

My three-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him for a while.

Then she turned to me and said, “Daddy, it’s a monster! We should bury it.”

I didn’t bury it.

7. That YouTube search history tho…

That when my daughter was five or six years old, she would look up videos of dogs throwing up or stallions urinating, based on her YouTube history.

I never directly spoke to her about this but have always told her that she can always talk to me about any questions she had about any subject with no judgment from me.

She’s 14 now and I still haven’t said a word.

6. Bad, bad, bad dad!

My dad, influenced at least in part by the movie Bad Boys II, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a tough guy.

He filled a whiskey bottle with tea and, when he answered the door, he started chugging down the whole thing while scanning my boyfriend up and down.

He then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the ensuing hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with a totally insane father.

“Don’t concuss yourself this time, Dad!” became the running joke in my house once I was able to get a date again.

5. Grandma, the slacker…

My grandmother said she needed a place to stay one night due to issues with her housemate.

She slept on the couch… for the next ten years.

Made no effort to get her own place despite having a very good retirement income and still working part-time as a nurse.

Loved to hit the casino though!

4. Joke’s on you, parents!

It’s one in the morning. I’m fast asleep with my wife in the living room reading.

All of the sudden, the baby monitor is blaring my 16-month-old son’s laughter into my ear. So I jump up, run into his room, and he’s standing in his crib pointing at the corner of the room and giggling hysterically.

I just stared at him for a few seconds before I grabbed him and put him in bed with me.

3. That last part, tho…

About a year ago, my parents caught me singing to my microwave while I was waiting for it to warm up a piece of pizza.

This all happened at 4 in the morning, when I thought my parents were staying at a friend’s.

Oh, I almost forgot that I was naked.

2. The war at home!

My uncle and grandfather don’t have a good relationship but were tolerating each other because it was Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking, we have a big Thanksgiving with maybe 15 or 20 who love to eat.

I had brought in the cheese and everything was going fine. Flashforward to dinner time, the food is coming out and, as tradition dictates, we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like,” I know you hate me, but at least I’m grate,” and stuff hit the fan.

My uncle literally went into a rage and was yelling at everyone because we didn’t tell him he was using “tainted” cheese. Then said “f*** it” and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on. Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on.

The rest of us ordered Chinese food and kicked my uncle out. My grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much “holiday joy” in him at the time.

Surprising my uncle hasn’t come to holidays in years now.

1. Hugs, not drugs…

When I was 11 years old, I was taken in by the police for questioning regarding illicit substances distribution that had been taking place out of our family’s house.

My dad had marijuana growing in the basement, and he had been using it as well as selling it frequently to neighbors and friends.

When the police raided the house while my dad was at work, they asked me if I knew anything about what was in the room. Since I admitted to having had knowledge of it, I guess that that was all it took for them to feel the need to bring me in for questioning. They even cuffed me and everything.

My dad didn’t show up at the police station till almost eight hours later.

As you can imagine, in a small town like the one where I grew up, people talked. A lot. It also didn’t help that I lived next to a massive apartment complex where everyone could see what was happening the entire time as it was unfolding.

I was the talk of the town for almost two years because of this incident.

Isn’t it nuts that the last story probably wouldn’t happen these days? Well, at least in some states?

So much time, energy and money wasted on the war against marijuana.

*sigh*

The post People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day appeared first on UberFacts.

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10 People Who Made Marriage Pacts with Their BFFs Share What Happened

Has there been a rom-com made about this yet? I’m thinking that by this point, there has to be at least one (starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, perhaps?).

Surprisingly, marriage pacts actually exist in real life – you know the ones I mean, where people say, “if we’re not married by “X” age, you and I are getting married.”

These folks on AskReddit have the stories to prove it.

#1. I wonder why…

“I met someone once who did this for tax purposes. They were already good friends and planned on divorcing if they ever met someone they wanted to marry.

He was confused as to why his relationships never lasted past him saying he was married.”

#2. Hmmmm

“I know a couple that did this, she left her ex-boyfriend to be with the guy. They each promised to marry one another if they weren’t in a relationship when they reach a certain age.

The ex-boyfriend, who is my cousin, was not happy when he got out of prison and saw his “girl” married to someone and has a child. My cousin isn’t smart and wants a paternity test to prove the child is his, for the record he has been in prison for 6 years and the child is 4.”

#3. Still married!

“My husband and I met playing FFXI (an MMO) when we were about 14 years old. We lived one state over, and became good friends – chatting online and on the phone mostly. When I was going through a typical exaggerated end of the world break up where I claimed to be unloveable and alone forever, he was trying to comfort me and said, “if we’re single at 24, we can get married together.” I reminded him of that a bunch of times in the future when both of us went through bad relationships.

At age 20, finally both single and capable of traveling, we went on our first date. It was lovely. We went to a museum and one of the best steak restaurants in the city – however, we totally couldn’t afford the steak. Did two years long distance (USA – JAPAN). Continued dating, married at 26 (two years late!), and went back to that steak restaurant and got the most expensive steak.

Still married and happy. :)”

#4. Awwwwwww

“Ok, so kinda happened… My husband and I were best friends in middle and high school. After multiple failed teenage relationships we made a pact to get married at 35 if we hadn’t found anyone yet.

We lost touch in our early twenties for about ten years.. each with a child and failed marriages under our belts, we reconnected in our early thirties, realized how amazing we are for each other, and have been happily together since. It was a year or two into our relationship when a mutual friend reminded us of our pact…We didn’t get married until 36, but go us? Lol.”

#5. Worked out

“I had this with a girl. The 30 years of age deadline. We hooked up at 25 and got married at 30. Still together.”

#6. The long haul

“We met when we were 5 years old. We had a crush on each other, but we both switched schools after 4 years, and lost communication. We met again in 9th grade and became good friends, but he had a gf. For years every time one of us was single, the other was in a relationship.

So we stayed as best friends, and only kissed once during senior year. Eventually, after a bad breakup, he tells me if we hit 30 and we’re still single we should get married. I agreed.

Fast forward to 10 years after that, and we’ve been together for almost 2 years. Not married, but still very happy.”

#7. You never know

“I made this pact with a very good friend. We’re both in our separate relationships that are both going very strong, and we still talk very often (she’s in another country so meeting up is kinda hard). I don’t think either of us ever believed we would have needed the pact, but at the time it was nice knowing that we weren’t gonna end up alone.”

#8. What a story

“Not successful. She asked me to marry her by 30 when we were both 19. I said sure because I had a huge crush on her anyway. We dated briefly for a summer before she went back to college and have been good friends the rest of the time. She ended up becoming a Catholic sister after college (she takes similar vows of celibacy and poverty as a nun would, but lives “in the world” as opposed to being secluded in a convent) and works for the church in finance.

We still see each other, are both in our late 30s. We have talked about it and she does admit to wanting in the past to be with me romantically again, that I am the only person she has been intimate with, but that she believes strongly in what she is doing and her vows. I love her dearly as a person and dont think of her romantically anymore, but it would be hard for me to say no if she left the church and wanted to see me again.”

#9. Wish I could go back…

“We agreed manybyeats ago if we were still single at 40, we’d get married. Had a 1 year relationship with her at 30, and it ended badly. We’ve spoken 3 times since then, and I’m in a relationship I’d rather not be in almost 10 years down the line. She is still single, and I wish I could go back and fix the problems.”

#10. Mom and Dad

“My parents grew up a few streets apart and played together all the time. They went to different schools and one or the other was always in a relationship or crushing on someone so neither of them really saw each other as an option until they were both dumped on the very same day when they were 17/19 and decided they’d get married at 30.

They’ve been together for 24 years :)”

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15 People Share the Places They Think Are Overrated to Visit

For me, I think my answer is Las Vegas.

I guess it’s okay to experience once, but I really don’t understand how people visit there repeatedly and from all over the world.

To each their own though, right? I love Chicago and New York City, but I’m sure some people think those places are NO GOOD.

Folks on AskReddit shared the places they think are way too overrated to visit.

Share your own in the comments!

1. It is pretty dirty

“Hollywood walk of fame. Haven’t seen a dirtier road.”

2. Does not sound fun

“That wing mural in Nashville.. There is literally a line that takes an hour to go take a picture with a pair of wings on a wall.”

3. At least there’s pizza

“Plymouth Rock.

It’s just a rock. It’s not even a big rock, or a weird-looking rock; it’s just a grayish lump the size of a beanbag chair with “1620” carved on it. I didn’t pay anything to look at it and it still was a ripoff.

There’s a nice pizza place nearby though.”

4. Disappointed

“Kind of specific, but I visited the Gold and Silver pawn shop from the show “Pawn Stars” when I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago.

Holy shit that place is tiny. Mad props to the production crew that films inside there, because I always imagined it was big and open. It’s basically a single isle from the door to the back of the store with a little side area where the registers and offices are.

I went out of my way to see it, expecting to spend at least an hour looking around. After being inside for 5 minutes I saw pretty much everything and left quite disappointed.”

5. La La Land

“Hollywood! I feel so bad for tourists in LA that waste their vacation time in that dirty hellhole.”

6. Insider tips

“As a tour guide in Paris, here’s my time to shine and help you save time and money:

Avoid Paris In June and July, August. September is best, May comes in second.

ALWAYS, always book your skip-the-line tickets online before going to a landmark. Nothing in Paris is worth waiting 3 hours in line. Instead, go drink some wine and eat some cheese + baguette in a nice park or by the river.”

7. It’s worse…

“Whatever expectation you have of Roswell, New Mexico- it’s worse.”

8. Anywhere else

“Oslofjorden. Please go anywhere else In Norway when you visit.”

9. That sounds like hell

“Times square on New Years. If you know, you know.”

10. Not the real Dublin

“If you’re in Dublin, stay away from the Temple Bar area, it’s ridiculously overpriced and is not at all what a real Irish bar is like at all.”

11. UAE

“UAE, it’s the most culturally deficient place you will ever see in your life!!”

12. Overrated

“Bondi Beach in Sydney. Overcrowded, everything there is way overpriced.”

13. Not a fan

“I was dragged to Dubai to visit relatives a couple of years ago and I could not find the words to describe how soulless and uninteresting the place is. Then there is the unrelenting, searing heat. I couldn’t wait to leave after around 3 days.”

14. That place with the tower

“Pisa.

Besides the small square with the tower where everyone is taking the same shitty joke pic. And guys tryna sell you toys.

The rest of the town is pretty shit. Youre in Tuscany, go to ANY small town and you’ll enjoy it far more.”

15. Sounds horrible

“South Beach/Miami

Over priced bars and clubs, if youre a dude and you dont have a fine group of women with you, be ready to drop serious cash for a night out if youre there. There are better beaches up and down the coast, that wont force you into the terrible traffic and parking SB has.”

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People Give Advice on What NOT to Do in a Fight

Even if you believe you can handle your business, you’ll probably make some mistakes if you actually get into a fight.

In the interest of surviving the coming apocalypse (zombie or otherwise), here are some things that rookies often do wrong – just in case you find yourself facing fisticuffs in the future.

15. Have a strategy.

From what I’ve noticed most people that have not had any training just throw as many punches as fast as they can hoping some of them will connect instead of having any sort of strategy

14. Keep your hands up.

Every fight video I see people are just throwing haymakers and it looks like their arms are noodles. Keeping your hands up and throwing a few quick jabs usually takes care of those idiots.

13. Most people think they can.

Think that they can fight.

Most people think they can — they can’t.

12. An amateur would fail every time.

Do something fancy they saw on last night’s MMA fight. If even trained fighters have trouble landing that cool looking spinning back kick or flying triangle every time without fail, then an amateur would fail every time. Also, remember to keep your chin down, hands up to protect your head and remember that you have hips and legs.

11. Mostly.

Mostly the “in a fight” part. But also the lesser-known “The other guy knew a fight had begun, but somehow I did not until I was already knocked out” method. And then there’s the timeless classic: “I mean I never threw a punch in my life, but I lift a little and look how buff I am, where this other kid’s small and wiry af. Easy win” maneuver.

10. It ain’t even close.

I was a bouncer for roughly five years during my college and law school days.

The number one biggest mistake people make, and it ain’t even close, is getting liquored up first. Reaction time is everything and those tenths of a second (or more) you’re losing are catastrophic.

9. Fight on the grass.

Usually one, clean, solid punch to the jaw will end the fight very quickly. It would be recommended if you both are staying on grass or something because knocking out the other guy and him hitting his head on concrete and dying is not something you want to do.

8. A decent hit to the throat.

The guy is going to be throwing haymakers so you need to avoid being hit in important areas like the head, throat and gut. While he’s flailing around you just need to give him a few good jabs up the middle because his arms are flailing to the sides and leaving his middle wide open. A decent hit to the throat will end the fight quicker than you think.

7. You’ll get gassed.

Control breathing. You’d be surprised how quickly you’ll get gassed. Solid way to get yourself ko’d

6. You never know.

Underestimate their opponent by just looking at their size. Look at Johnny vs Daniel-son. Or look at skinny mma fighters and see them in Street clothes. You never know what kind of experience/training they have under the hood.

5. Don’t go crazy.

Try to go crazy and expend lots of energy when not needed to.

4. Lethal street fighting.

Just watch Bas Rutten’s video “Lethal Street Fighting.” It’s outrageously funny, and some of the things he teaches are not wrong. It covers pretty much everything mentioned here, plus a few weird ones like bouncing a guy’s head off the “ambiance” (tables, chairs, walls) and playing “hide the hot sauce bottle” once your opponent is unconscious.

But there’s also serious stuff.

3. Wait for commitment.

90% of the moves I was taught in the dojo begin with the opponent taking a lunging punch. There is so much more to do with a person if they fully commit to a punch than if they throw conservative jabs while keeping their guard up.

2. It’s hard for me to say that’s wrong.

I’ve seen a lot of fights, and been in more than a few. The loser almost always loses because they don’t actually want to hurt the other person, though it’s real hard for me to say that’s wrong.

1. The worst:

Throw hammer fist slap punches

Not lock the wrist properly

Connect with the pinky side of the fist instead of the pointer

hold their arms outstretched at their sides while talking nonsense

Stick their chin out while talking nonsense

Fail to use their elbows, knees, and kicks

Not keep an eye out for secondary threats

Not remain in control of their emotions

Stop before the threat is stopped

watch the opponents eyes as opposed to their hands

Talk to the police without a lawyer present afterwards

​

Edit: Since this is getting some attention:

Fail to use their hips and their legs to power their punches

Understand basic human anatomy and target the weak points (neck, knees, throat, temple, and etc)

remain stationary as opposed to moving around

only throw punches and disregard chops, strikes, and pressure points

have no understanding of greco-roman wresting or bjj if the fight goes to the ground

not improvise any available object as a weapon for reasons of honor or fairness

reason with an inebriated or enraged attacker

turn their back to an active threat

ask bystanders for help (google bystander effect)

escalate to attempt to establish dominance/social standing

NOT EXITING THE SECOND THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS ITSELF

CONTINUING AFTER A FIGHT IS OVER

​

edit II:

I want to be clear that avoiding a fight is the best policy, and every comment above and below me that stated such deserves your upvotes. I may have answered the question best in technical terms, but they are far more correct.

Godspeed, my friends.

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An Animal Shelter Is Using the Proposed Raid on Area 51 to Encourage Adoptions

There’s no doubt you’ve heard that there’s a Facebook event called “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” and that around 2 million people have signed up to be there on September 20th.

Set aside the fact that, as with any Facebook event, you can expect about 1% of people who say they’re going to actually go. Also, set aside the fact that the government can, in fact, stop all of them. The harebrained event itself has actually inspired something good.

Our new staff member, Marvin, is ready to help with all the adoptions tomorrow at our #StormTheShelter Free Adoption event!

Posted by OKC Animal Welfare on Friday, July 26, 2019

Because while the U.S. military is discouraging people from coming by, one Oklahoma animal shelter is welcoming anyone who wants to storm their facility and go home with a pet.

You know, as opposed to (probably) getting arrested or (possibly) getting shot looking for aliens in the desert.

Come storm our shelter…We have great animals ready to protect you from the Area 51 aliens. Adoption isn’t that far out of this world!#stormtheshelter

Posted by OKC Animal Welfare on Friday, July 19, 2019

“Come storm our shelter… We have great animals ready to protect you from the Area 51 aliens. Adoption isn’t that far out of this world! #stormtheshelter”

The dogs are also sporting tinfoil hats.

***ADOPTED!***Meet PIPER 303993 "I like to go on long drives with the windows down!"Piper is cute as can be with…

Posted by OKC Animal Welfare on Friday, July 19, 2019

You know, just in case.

Meet LADY 218612 "Let's meet and see if we're a match!"Lady is a beautiful 3 year old, 60 pound Lab and Shepherd mix….

Posted by OKC Animal Welfare on Friday, July 19, 2019

And all of the animals photos are now set against space backgrounds.

**Adopted!**3099833 month old male. Super friendly and sweet!

Posted by OKC Animal Welfare on Friday, July 19, 2019

Too cute!

Also, too sad – they have 116 dogs, 39 cats, and 2 pigs ready and waiting for their forever homes.

So if you live in the area and have room in your heart and house for a new furry friend, get moving!

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12 Funny Tweets from Parents About Their Kids

There’s really no arguing that kids today are growing up in an entirely different world – one that didn’t even exist 30 years ago.

And if you’re wondering whether it’s making them grow up too fast, well… these 12 tweets certainly seem to point to yes!

12. Don’t try to pull the wool over that one’s eyes.

11. This attitude will take her far in life.

10. Dream life, honestly.

9. This is kind of depressing.

8. He’s probably not going to be a motivational speaker – but he might write greeting cards.

7. As good an answer as any.

6. My 2yo takes “notes.”

5. A healthy sense of reality.

4. I mean there’s nothing wrong with self-sufficiency.

3. Pretty sick burn for a kid who doesn’t bring home a paycheck.

2. To be fair the whole birth process is some BS on both ends.

1. I bet Alexa told him that.

The proof is in the social media posts!

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A Design Student Won an Award for a Chair That Prevents “Manspreading”

“Manspreading” is what happens when men in the cramped quarters of public transit choose to take up more than their quota of space by spreading out their legs.

Seen by feminists as an unwanted exhibition of male social dominance and by sensible, polite people as just plain rude, the practice has gotten more and more attention as people post their rage on social media.

Enter 23-year-old Laila Laurel, a 3D Design & Craft graduate from the University of Brighton.

Image Credit: Laila Laurel

Her final-year project is called “A Solution for Manspreading,” and features two wooden chairs – one for men, and another for women.

“I designed and created these chairs in order to identify and challenge problems surrounding the act of sitting that might potentially be more gender-specific, such as manspreading.”

Image Credit: Laila Laurel

The male version is shaped to force him to sit with his legs closed, while the female version comes with a small piece of wood in the middle that encourages sitting with her legs parted.

She told The Independent that of course the chairs weren’t meant for serious implementation, but to “give physicality to an issue women face in quite a fun yet literal way.”

Image Credit: Laila Laurel

“My design practice is contextualized within fourth-wave feminism and another huge inspiration for these pieces was Laura Bates’ Everyday Sexism Project, a platform in which women can testify about the sexism they have experienced.”

Laurel ended up winning a Belmond Award, which recognizes emerging talent, for her work. The luxury hotel and leisure company called the chairs a “bold, purpose-driven design that explores the important role of design in informing space, a person’s behavior and societal issues of today.”

Image Credit: Laila Laurel

Though the chairs were a big hit at her graduate show, she was surprised – and thrilled – to be recognized beyond that scope.

“The reaction of the people who engaged and interacted with my pieces at my graduate show was really encouraging and exciting as it seemed to spark interesting conversations and also make them laugh, which is something I really value in my work.”

Image Credit: Laila Laurel

It just goes to show that people really enjoy a good piece of art, and that goes double for one that makes you uncomfortable while you experience it.

Literally.

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