Young People Look for Love and Adventure by Teaching English Abroad

It’s easy to feel lost after you get out of college.

Too many people ask what you’re going to do with the rest of your life.

And who’s ready to think about 401ks and health insurance in their 20s?

When they’re not ready to face “real life” yet, a lot of young people turn to teaching English abroad.

It’s a great way to have some real life experiences, make a little money, and figure out what you want to do with yourself.

And a lot of young people enter this next phase looking for something more.

Direction, meaning, love–here are 13 people who taught English with a purpose.

1. Some people might go because they got broken up with

And some might get broken up with because they decided to go.

My boyfriend just broke up with me because I got a job teaching English in China. I love him so much I almost don't want to take the great opportunity.

Image credit: Whisper

2. Some are just looking to be fulfilled

I can’t imagine criticizing. What a useful, selfless way to be fulfilled.

I'm teaching english in Spain. Some people criticize my decision but after 4 years of unhappiness in college, I need to be happy again.

Image credit: Whisper

3. Lots of people seem to be looking for love

I really hope they find it. At the very least, opening themselves up to new experiences invites love in.

I'm 25and leaving in 2 weeks to teach English abroad. i want to share this and future adventures with a partner so badly. Not sure that will ever happen.

Image credit: Whisper

4. Just stay open to possibility

What a beautiful love story. They will have so many adventures together!

I found the love of my life teaching English abroad. And several of my friends are students and have met their significant other abroad too.

Image credit: Whisper

5. Sometimes you might get lucky

You really never know what might happen.

I'm an English teacher in a foreign country and I have a private student who I get on really well with! Unfortunately he has a girlfriend but I really really like him. PS I'm 29 and he's in his 30s.

Image credit: Whisper

6. They already found love

And then they found a family! It honestly feels like a Hallmark movie.

Me and my hubby decided to volunteer for our honeymoon. We spent three months teaching English in Asia and are now adopting siblings from there.

Image credit: Whisper

7. Some aren’t looking for love, just space

And what better way to find yourself than to run away on an adventure?

I'm teaching English abroad. I needed some space to find myself.

Image credit: Whisper

8. Others aren’t looking for love, but they find it

Found families can be the best families.

I'm an English teacher in Japan and I became close friends with one of my student's parents. For the first time here I felt like I had family. And I might have to give that up. Feels like death.

Image credit: Whisper

9. Then there are those who just want acceptance

And they have no idea what to expect. They might be the bravest of all.

I'm planning on leaving SF (San Francisco) to live and teach English abroad. I'm nervous that people outside of SF won't understand Polyamory.

Image credit: Whisper

10. It’s a great way to escape

You’re young and untethered and have the world at your fingertips. Tbh, I’m a little jealous.

I got a job teaching English abroad so I can escape facing real life for a bit longer. I'm 23 and still not ready to grow up.

Image credit: Whisper

11. Sometimes what you’re escaping is the all-seeing eye

It’s honestly no one’s business but yours. Good for you!

I'm signing up for a course that will allow me to teach English abroad. I'm SUPER excited but I have to keep it on the DL because of work and my family's judgment.

Image credit: Whisper

12. For others, it’s all about the adventure

I just really love the enthusiasm here.

Landed my dream job teaching English in Thailand. Bring on the experience!?

Image credit: Whisper

13. Don’t forget that it can be mutually beneficial

You learn just as much as your students do, if you’re doing it right.

I actually think teaching English in Korea can be very helpful. I'm learning Korean in English, and it definitely comes in handy.

Image credit: Whisper

These are all such great reasons to take a job teaching English abroad.

I hope they all found what they were looking for!

What about you? Would you consider teaching abroad, and where would you most want to go? Tell us in the comments.

The post Young People Look for Love and Adventure by Teaching English Abroad appeared first on UberFacts.

When a Girlfriend Stole From Him, He Tanked Her Academic Career

Most of the revenge stories on Reddit are examples of what happens if you mess with the wrong person. Some folks will just like, cut you out of their lives if you do something shi**y, but others?

The look you straight in the eye and say “f**k around and find out.”

This girl found out what would happen after she stole from her boyfriend, and I’ve got to think she regrets it now.

It began at University, where a young guy made a mistake that lots of young guys make in college (and also before and after) – he got involved with a girl who was waving around red flags like she was starting a race.

I’m a senior at a large state university. This happened in the first semester of my freshman year.

I was selected for an honors-type program that placed me in a co-ed dorm building with every other student in the program. As a dumb freshman, I rushed into a relationship with a freshman girl who lived right above me (we’ll call her Megan). It was convenient for me to date someone who lived so close, but everyone else in our building hated Megan because she talked a lot, and almost exclusively about herself. She bragged often about being a “fairly aggressive” person, but somehow I overlooked that mile-wide red flag.

Then his mom noticed that his debit card was being used more than usual (to order food). OP hadn’t made the charges and he asked his gf, who also denied it and suggested he cancel the card.

So, he called the bank.

Right after Thanksgiving break, at the end of an evening class, I got a call from my mom, who noticed some unusual activity on my checking account. Back then I had no credit card, so this account/debit card was my only access to my savings while I lived on campus. I rarely needed to buy anything during the semester, so I was puzzled to find that $104.29 had left my bank account over two weeks—in the form of six Grubhub food orders.

At this point, I trusted Megan, but I decided to ask her about the money right away. She denied any involvement and suggested that I cancel my debit card. After a really long phone call to the bank, I did just that.

When he reached out to GrubHub and they sent him receipts, lo and behold, his girlfriend’s name was on them.

They both had dining plans and plenty of cash, so there was no issue of her not being able to eat at school.

Next, I reached out to Grubhub customer service on Twitter: “Hey, my card was stolen and used for food orders on these dates. Can I have the receipts?” They sent me the first and last receipts, but they had to “redact” the personal info of the account holder. I say “redact” in quotes because they just used the Snapchat draw tool, and Megan’s name was still clearly visible on both receipts. What’s more: The most recent receipt was only two hours old. She was probably still eating when I chopped up my debit card!

It’s worth noting that she and I both had unlimited dining plans—paid for by our respective parents—and we lived 500 feet from the nearest dining hall. She didn’t need to order food, and she definitely didn’t need my money to do it.

I sent Megan a breakup text and decided that the $104.29 was a loss. At least I escaped unscathed, right?

She finally confessed (after yelling at him) and honestly, he thought that was that.

That was not that.

Well, less than two days later, she entered my room when I wasn’t looking. I was sitting at my desk when I noticed her standing silently behind me.

Megan: “Give me my stuff. Where’s my stuff?”

Me: “What stuff?”

Megan: “YOU KNOW.”

I did not know. She tore through the room, looking for something that she refused to identify. Just as quick as she came, she was gone, and I locked the door because obviously this wasn’t over yet.

Within a minute, she was back. She stood outside my door, knocking and demanding I let her back inside. The knocking quickly got more violent. She started shouting “I KNOW YOU’RE F***ING IN THERE!” and “OPEN THE MOTHERF***ING DOOR!” Mind that we lived in this building with students in our program who all know each other, and all of them could hear her. Pretty quickly, Megan was rattling the handle of my door. Next, she began throwing herself at it, shoulder-first, trying to break it down. I lived next door to my RA, but judging by the lack of any intervention, he was elsewhere. So I whipped out my phone and texted him to send backup.

Meanwhile, I saw my heavy wooden door bending and buckling. I even heard it crack a bit.

The other RA showed up and they managed to get her away from the door and find out what she wanted.

He returned the things (which were gifts) and hoped it was really over then.

My RA was on duty in another building, so he sent three of his colleagues to de-escalate the situation. They brought Megan downstairs, where she revealed that the “stuff” she wanted was just the t-shirt and keychain that she gave me for my birthday. Whatever; I let her have those. I still just wanted this to be over.

It was too late for Megan, though. The school was involved now, and the ball started rolling without OP’s say so.

However, once I shared my story with the resident life staff, they filed university paperwork to place a no-contact order between me and Megan. They also recommended I contact the campus police, who then told me I should get my stolen money back in small-claims court (I couldn’t even get there without a car or money to pay for an Uber. Sorry, Judge Judy).

At the request of the campus police, I also contacted the Title IX office at my school, sending them the story of everything you’ve read so far. They were interested—to say the least—although I didn’t want any trouble. I just wanted a clean breakup and a fresh start, but a Title IX representative informed me that they were bringing three misconduct charges against Megan: theft, threatening/violent behavior, and inciting an intervention by university staff. The representative asked me to serve as a witness in Megan’s disciplinary hearing the next semester. I tentatively agreed, right before the representative set the hearing date for February 14th.

Valentine’s Day. I thought it was a joke, but they really did that.

In the interim, OP had found out a few things about his ex that made him feel less than sorry for anything that was about to happen.

When the day of the hearing finally arrived, the no-contact order was still in effect, but a few of my friends had kept tabs on Megan. For starters, she failed all of her classes in the fall. Someone in my math course confessed that Megan had tried to sleep with him while she was dating me, and he had to repeatedly tell her no. Even worse, Megan kept telling a twisted version of the whole story to try and turn my friends against me. So when I found out that she had found a new boyfriend, it felt good to know that the V-Day disciplinary hearing ruined whatever evening plans they might’ve made.

I arrived alone at the disciplinary board office, unsure what to expect. The board consisted of grad students, and the hearing was expected to run into the night.

Megan showed up with an entire entourage who were about to learn the sad truth about their friend (and daughter and client).

Because there was video.

Unlike me, Megan did not come alone. She brought both of her parents as “character witnesses” (that wasn’t even a thing here; this wasn’t a real courtroom, as you’ll soon see). And that’s not all: Megan’s parents also paid a lawyer to defend her against the charges.

The board knew that was unnecessary, but Megan’s parents believed so strongly in their daughter’s innocence that they had already paid this three-piece suit make her case. In the name of fairness, the board members offered me pro-bono legal representation: A junior economics major, who we’ll call Jimmy.

Jimmy had already read my account of the events from the fall, and thanks to my screenshots of Grubhub receipts, he said there was an okay shot of the charges sticking. Then I told him something I’d kept secret for months: When Megan tried to break down my door and I whipped out my phone to text my RA, I also filmed the whole thing.

Jimmy couldn’t get enough of the video. There was Megan, kicking and screaming and clearly trying to break into my dorm room. It was all the evidence I needed, and no one saw it coming. In the hearing, when the time came for me to make the case against Megan, Jimmy played the video on a big screen in front of everyone.

The room went insane.

Everyone knew the jig was up, and OP realized that Megan really had started to turn people against him, but it was too late for anything to change at that point – it was a melee.

In that instant, I realized that Megan really had convinced everyone I was the liar. In her version of the story, I gave her permission to buy food using my account. She told her parents that she’d asked me politely for her belongings, which I’d rudely hidden from her in my dorm room. In Megan’s story, I was the sociopath trying to ruin her reputation. Before I unveiled the video, it was her word against mine.

I still didn’t want revenge… Even after finding out that Megan tried to cheat on me. But when I saw her parents flipping out at the video: “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US YOU DID THIS?!” and her lawyer raising hell: “THIS EVIDENCE WAS NOT PROVIDED IN PRE-TRIAL DISCLOSURE!” and a board member standing over him: “SIR, THIS IS NOT A COURT OF LAW. PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEAT” and him shouting “OBJECTION!” and her replying: “WE DON’T HAVE OBJECTIONS, THIS ISN’T A COURT OF LAW” and Jimmy, my new best friend, just trying not to laugh out loud… That’s when I realized how good revenge can feel when it’s fair and deserved.

The board found her guilty and meted out justice.

The girlfriend ended up leaving school.

The board found Megan responsible on all three charges. My side of the bench recommended the university terminate her housing contact and force her to pay restitution. Her side recommended only restitution and a reprimand.

The board compromised. Her family paid back most of the money she stole (“most” because two of the six orders had the same price and the lawyer convinced the board I had duplicated an order), and Megan was forced to move into a different dorm building. This probably would’ve helped her anyway because every student in our program’s building knew everything she’d done and lied about. They wouldn’t speak to her, and no one wanted to be her roommate. By the time she had to move buildings, she’d already failed all of her courses again. Having paid for her tuition, her unused dining plan, her lawyer, and her restitution, Megan’s parents finally pulled her out of school.

Just a little update, for anyone wondering where the parties ended up…

Last I heard, Megan returned as a part-time student, but I never saw her again because the no-contact order still stands. I’m now Facebook friends with the guy Megan tried to seduce. Oh, and Jimmy and I connected on LinkedIn.

As for me, well… I no longer date “fairly aggressive” people.

I figure most of us have to learn the hard way when it comes to dating and relationships.

So… did Reddit have opinions? Oh, you betcha!

Because what was this lawyer thinking?

Image Credit: Reddit

Sit down lawyer?

Image Credit: Reddit

No… SIT DOWN!

Image Credit: Reddit

At least this guy says he learned his lesson. Time will tell!

The post When a Girlfriend Stole From Him, He Tanked Her Academic Career appeared first on UberFacts.

What Red Flag Do You Regret Ignoring Early in a Relationship? Women Shared Their Stories.

When you’re falling for someone or starting a new relationship, sometimes you ignore stuff.

You ignore things that you wouldn’t necessarily tolerate because you want it to work out so much…and sometimes that can come back to bite you in a major way.

Women, what red flags do you regret overlooking in the early days of a relationship?

AskReddit users shared their thoughts.

1. Not good.

“The terrible s**.

Obviously in the beginning you’re still working things out but if it’s still terrible after a few months despite trying your hardest to show them what you enjoy then don’t pretend it’s not a big deal when s** is a very important aspect of a healthy relationship.

I pretended it was no biggie, because hey its just s** and now I’m married and our bedroom is completely dead.”

2. Can’t have that.

“He made me feel self conscious about silly things like singing badly in the car.

We were married for 16 years before I realized I’d changed too much for him and had lost who I really am as a person. I couldn’t be silly or goofy, and he thought I was stupid for liking to get little gifts for people when I’d see something that made me think of them.

After our divorce, I moved halfway across the country (TX to CA) to work on myself away from the same places I’ve always lived. I feel like me again and felt good about moving back to TX because of the healthier place I’m in now.

Along the way, I realized I was too young and inexperienced in the realm of relationships when I got married and gave up too much of myself. Never again.”

3. Foreshadowing.

“Him saying I was a “real woman” and “different/better than his exes”.

Those comments made me feel good at the time, but then I realized it was his way of saying that actually no woman was good enough for him.”

4. Messed up.

“Unable to deal with negative emotions, being desperate to avoid them at all cost.

This led to me neglecting my own needs, because he’d take it as personal criticism if I told him I needed something he didn’t already give me.

Equating s** with love.”

5. Sketchy.

“He didn’t like me telling mutual friends about our relationship because he was a private person.

Lots of other red flags but this was a big one.

Turned out he was living a double life but it took me 2 years and a mental breakdown to figure that out.”

6. Never a good thing.

“Anger issues/”having a temper”/explosive outbursts of anger when things didn’t go his way/lashing out physically and verbally when upset.

Just because it hasn’t been directed at you yet, doesn’t mean you are actually safe.”

7. Sums it up.

“If the friends he hangs out with the most are a**holes, he’s an a**hole too.

He’s just acting differently because you’re around.”

8. Disaster area.

“The absolute state of his house.

He blamed it on his ex and being too small and swore it wouldn’t be the same once we moved in together.

Guess what?”

9. Only got worse.

“In my abusive relationship: when he yelled at me when he found out I was a feminist.

He accused me about lying about who I was by not telling him.

I thought it was pretty obvious from having even one conversation with me and didn’t feel the need to say “I’m a feminist”. It only got worse from there.”

10. Boozin’.

“The amount of alcohol.

We were young, so everyone was still in that stage of going out and partying a lot, me included, so I didn’t think much of it.

But he seemed to do it just a little more than everyone else.”

11. All about image.

“He was an appearance guy. He wanted to appear so perfect in his social circle.

In fact, our first fight was because he invited his 2 friends to our night out without my consent (no problem) but those guys acted as if I did not exist. Then I got bored and I wanted to leave after like an hour, he took me home but he sulked like a baby!

Months to come, he would take me out and treat me like a queen in front of his friends while at home we were fighting almost every week. I got tired of the duplicity and had to finally leave him.

But if I had known, I would have left after that first fight.”

12. Groomed.

“He was 12 years older than me and we began talking as “friends” when I was 15 years old.

Looking back i think i was groomed but hey, he’s not in my life anymore so what does it matter?”

13. The jealous type.

“Extreme jealousy.

He was very romantic and charming at first, then started accusing me of infidelity and flirting with other man. Once he accompanied me to the vet because my dog was in an accident and needed surgery.

He accused me of flirting with the vet, even though the vet and I were discussing my dog’s care. He has a meltdown over it later in the evening. That is only one example. Fast forward a couple of months…I find out he was still married and I was “the other woman”. Ew.”

Do you remember some red flags you overlooked in relationships?

If so, tell us about them in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post What Red Flag Do You Regret Ignoring Early in a Relationship? Women Shared Their Stories. appeared first on UberFacts.

Are Females Wrong for Not Quitting Their Careers to Stay Home With Their Kids if They Can Afford To?

Whether or not to stay home with children is an easy decision sometimes. It could be that one of the parents wants to stay home, to manage the household and the children, while the other party works for a paycheck outside the home.

It could be that both parents have always worked, and they can’t really afford to drop to one paycheck, or they don’t make enough to cover daycare, etc – it’s a financial decision, and no one really questions those, either.

Moms tend to get judged, though, when they have the option to stay home with their kids but choose to continue their careers or studies instead – and that’s exactly the scenario that has this mother second guessing her choices.

Quick backstory: the pregnancy was a surprise and one they didn’t find out about until quite a ways into it, for very legitimate reasons.

Long backstory short: I’ve been with my partner for 5 years, this was an unplanned pregnancy and I only found out I was pregnant a month ago(I’m now 7 months pregnant ?), I was on birth control and actually had 2 pregnancy tests come back negative(one was too early in the pregnancy and the other was because of the hook effect).

As an added bonus my partner and I never expected to be able to have kids naturally as he had cancer a couple of years ago and during treatment he collected and stored sperm that he was told were very poor quality plus I have a big family history or cervical cancer and was supposed to have surgery to remove 2 precancerous lesions a week ago and prep for that surgery was how I found out I was pregnant.

They are coming around to being ok with the thought of becoming parents, and as her partner makes good money, she’s even agreed to quitting her part-time job to help care for him when he arrives.

Now. Obviously it’s way to late for an abortion and my partner grew up in the foster/adoption system and got treated like shit so that’s not an option either. We’ve agreed to raise the baby together but over the last couple of days he’s repeatedly brought up how I should quit my job and study so I can focus on the baby when he arrives.

In theory this would be fine, my partner makes enough money to support us and my part time job pays absolute shit so I had initially agreed to drop my job but not my study.

That said, OP is in the middle of defending her Master’s thesis, and had plans to continue directly into a PhD program when she finished.

She had many very good reasons for not wanting to quit for a couple of years and then pick it back up.

I’m in the middle of writing my masters thesis is Bioscience and if I put it down for a couple of years the likelihood is that my contacts would no longer be available for research work.

Not to mention that I was planning on starting my PhD straight after I finish as it will be a direct extension of my masters study and I already have conditional funding for my research that I will lose if I put the project on hold.

It’s really important to her to finish.

Which is really all she should have had to say, don’t you think?

My study is really important to me and I feel like by giving up my job I’m losing a bit of my independence so I don’t want to lose this too. We’ve now had several huge fights because my partner says I’ll be neglecting the baby in favor of my research which I have no intention of doing. Hes chalking up my resistance to “baby hormones” and I want to check that I’m not TA here?

I think so, but let’s see what Reddit has to say!

The top comment honestly says it all, and as a mom, I wish I could shout it from the rooftops.

Image Credit: Reddit

Plenty of people think her partner needs to shape up, honestly.

Image Credit: Reddit

A few folks wondered if they shouldn’t reconsider the adoption option.

Image Credit: Reddit

She needs to keep her eyes wide open going forward.

Image Credit: Reddit

This whole situation smacks of the patriarchy and we don’t like it.

Image Credit: Reddit

No one would argue that parenthood doesn’t require sacrifice, but it doesn’t require sacrifice from just one party, but every party.

What are your thoughts here? Share them with us in the comments!

The post Are Females Wrong for Not Quitting Their Careers to Stay Home With Their Kids if They Can Afford To? appeared first on UberFacts.

Surprising Stories About Cheating with the Neighbor

Cheating takes a lot of work.

I mean, honestly. There’s all the hiding, the cover-ups, the stories, the staying out of the eye of the ever-present beast that is social media, it’s just a whole thing.

Looking for a way to make it easier? Why not keep things local! Very local. As in, just start hooking up with your next door neighbor. At least you won’t have to go very far to get things going, though if you’re living in attached housing like an apartment you might want to watch how loud you get next to those thin walls.

If it wasn’t clear already, we’re being tongue-in-cheek and not actually advocating for infidelity. But maybe the people who made these posts heard similar pitches, because man did they go for it.

10. “To be with him instead.”

As always, the choice is yours.

Source: Whisper

9. “My boyfriend of 8 months.”

The Barracuda is a nice little bit of color for the story.

Source: Whisper

8. “Can’t stop thinking…”

So close and yet so far.

Source: Whisper

7. “I still don’t feel guilty.”

Well, that’s rather telling.

Source: Whisper

6. “Losing my virginity.”

That’s quite a step there.

Source: Whisper

5. “He never found out.”

He hasn’t found out yet.*

Source: Whisper

4. “I feel really bad.”

Hey, I would too.

Source: Whisper

3. “I really regret it.”

It’s a familiar tune.

Source: Whisper

2. “It was soo much better.”

That’s not a great sign of things to come.

Source: Whisper

1. “I don’t know how to leave.”

That’s a long time to hold that in.

Source: Whisper

Maybe the convenience doesn’t quite outweigh the rest of it, huh?

Have you ever been involved in a cheating situation?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Surprising Stories About Cheating with the Neighbor appeared first on UberFacts.

People Admit Their True Stories of Cheating with the Neighbor

It sounds like something out of an adult film.

The new neighbor stops by to say hello. Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just in a towel, I wasn’t expecting anyone. “No,” she says, twirling her hair in her finger and closing the door behind her. “The towel is just fine. Why don’t you show me around.”

A bass-heavy theme starts playing. You know the rest.

I don’t know if something like that is how any of these real neighbor-cheating scenarios went, but I’d kind of like to think so.

10. “He’s playing two girls.”

Well, you two clearly need to break up immediately.

Source: Whisper

9. “I don’t know what to do.”

That right there is a no win situation.

Source: Whisper

8. “This complicates things.”

It’s all fun and games until…

Source: Whisper

7. “I don’t love my husband anymore.”

That all sounds perfectly horrible, thanks.

Source: Whisper

6. “She has no idea.”

Doesn’t mean she won’t find out eventually.

Source: Whisper

5. “The father of my child.”

Again, you need to get away from each other.

Source: Whisper

4. “I admitted to it.”

You can run from the people but not the problem.

Source: Whisper

3. “My boyfriend is locked up.”

I’m sure he’ll love that bit of news.

Source: Whisper

2. “I refuse to tell my neighbor.”

Well somebody’s gotta know.

Source: Whisper

1. “Just to get back at him.”

Yeah I coulda told you that wasn’t gonna work.

Source: Whisper

There’s a whole lotta yikes floating around up there.

Have you ever been involved in a cheating situation?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Admit Their True Stories of Cheating with the Neighbor appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Whether It’s OK to Restrict Your Partner’s Online Watching Habits

Hold onto your hats, because today we’re diving into one of the most genuinely controversial things posted to Unpopular Opinions in a while.

And it’s all about…”adult entertainment.”

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone if they watch pr0n.
Now don’t downvote this because you disagree, I know its an unpopular opinion, but I am genuinely uncomfortable by people watching pr0n while they’re in a relationship with me. It honestly feels like cheating. Why would you need to get sexual gratification somewhere else when I am literally right here willing to give you all the material you could ever want? Why do you need to get that from another woman?

I’m currently in a serious relationship and I’ve talked this through with my partner and he is ok with it and respects my boundaries. I am completely committed to the person I’m dating and I will only go to them for things that I deem exclusive to a romantic relationship, therefore I expect the same from them. When I masturbate I only masturbate to them and I expect the same. When I feel genuine romantic emotions, I only feel them toward them, and I expect the same. The reason being is that I am very, very serious about long term relationships and I’d feel like I was doing something very wrong if I thought of anyone else in this way.

If you’ve discussed it with your partner and you’re both ok with pr0n, thats cool, but I’ve been pressured by multiple people in the past to act like I’m ok with it, but I just never have been. Pr0n is something I’m highly uncomfortable with, it makes me feel jealous and betrayed and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. Those should be valid emotions to feel, but people try to make it seem like its irrational to feel that way when I truly believe it isn’t.

I know a lot of people feel the same way as me, just know that its ok to set boundaries in your relationship because your feelings are just as valid as your partner’s. That goes for anything, really.

Turns out the people of Reddit have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about this.

1. Some gave kudos.

Great post.

You know what you want in a relationship, discussed it with your partner, came to an understanding that you both agree upon.

That’s exactly how it should be done.

– drmarts1973

2. But is this openness or just intimidation?

If my partner was adamant about me not watching p**n to the degree that they’d consider it cheating if I did, I would never in a million years share my deeper sexual desires with them.

Now, that’s just me personally and if you guys do communicate a lot and well there’s probably not an issue but I think this is the one thing you’re missing; As far as YOU know he doesn’t have sexual desires you wouldn’t be comfortable with, but you’ve taken such a hard stance on something far less consequential that it kind of implies that you’d have a negative reaction to, for example, very kinky s**.

This isn’t guaranteed or anything, but based on your post and what I’ve read of your responses that’s at least how I’d personally feel.

– Pridetoss

3. Well that’s…um…

Bruh my ex didn’t want me to watch p**n back then and she only wanted to have s** every six months. My s** drive is off the f**king charts. I don’t want to force her soooo.

We all know how that end up lmaoo.

– chili_oil_best_oil

4. Some called red flag, no question.

Wtf is this thread. It’s very unhealthy to try and control people’s behaviour and s**ual expression. Your bf can’t control how you dress. Or who your friends are.

“But it makes me uncomfortable”

Yes that’s what possessiveness is.

This isn’t an unpopular opinion it’s an unhealthy one. You can’t encourage people to be so clingy and anxious. Your bf can only c** if he thinks of you? When someone is in a relationship they can literally only ever think of you?

Doomed to failure. Instead you need to learn how to cope with other people’s behaviours. You need to learn that love isn’t meant to be all encompassing. Your partner shouldn’t be the only person in the world.

I would really consider it a red flag in any relationship.

– Kaiisim

5. The term “thought policing” came up a lo.

I can get the p**n thing, but expecting to be able to police your partners thoughts? That’s borderline abusive.

It’s so unhealthy and OP really should examine why she feels so insecure in her relationships that other women can’t even take up any space in her partner’s private thoughts.

– scottishlastname

6. And then this person wrote the opposite diatribe.

Watching people in this thread absolutely bend over backwards to defend the idea of watching p**nography is insane to me.

How is it controlling to ask your partner to not watch other people f**king? Would your opinion be changed if OP’s partner were going to a friend’s house to watch two people f**k and bate in the corner? (I’m not trying to strawman; this is a genuine question because in my mind they are not very different from each other.) P**n has been proven time and time again to impact sexuality. Wanting your intimate relationship with your partner to progress at a natural pace is not controlling, imo.

People are bringing up the idea of “thought policing” in regards to OP’s partner’s masturbatory practices. While I can sort of understand arriving at that conclusion, I highly doubt OP is popping in every time their partner masturbates to be like “hey, make sure you’re thinking about me.” I’m pretty sure it was a one time conversation where she made her preferences known, and she trusts her partner to make private decisions in regards to that boundary.

I understand that people have s**ual needs, and that sometimes they just want to c**. I do not think that all people who use p**nography on a regular basis are bad people with ill intentions. However, when you’re in a long-term relationship with someone, I don’t think its controlling or insecure to ask your partner to not watch p**n. P**n is idealistic and largely plays at humanity’s base fantasies – aka, big breasts/penises, “ideal” looking genitalia, and overall extremely “attractive” people. I’d feel pretty insecure if my partner was consistently seeking sexual content from people who look very different from me.

Idk, maybe I’m the weird one here, but I agree with OP. I don’t think its controlling as long as it’s something that’s talked about early and with tact in a relationship. If you wouldn’t want to date somebody who wouldn’t want you watching p**n, that’s fine!! But defending p**n as a morally neutral thing is just pretty silly, imo. I just think it’s weird that people are accusing OP of being controlling and trying to change her opinion. There are plenty of valid reasons to dislike p**n, especially in a long term romantic relationship.

– LegitAllergic2TheSun

7. Is it insecurity? Or a reasonable expectation?

The only time a gf had a problem with p**n was when I was 18 and she was really insecure.

I especially wonder about the part where OP expects him to only think about her during masturbation. It might work in the early stages of a relationship, but I think it’s completely unrealistic for a relationship that lasts several years.

Chances are, because of how strict she is about this stuff, he’s just gonna lie to her about it. And honestly I think it’s perfectly harmless if he does. Those are his private thoughts after all, they don’t necessarily mean anything.

– HighwayTemporary3266

8. “To each their own.”

I couldn’t imagine asking someone to not watch it. To each their own though.

As long as you find someone who’s comfortable with your boundary, you are in the right mind.

Happy you’re expressing your feelings. Most people wouldn’t.

– MavenMermaid

9. Love the use of “unorthodox” here.

I don’t really think this is crazy, a little unorthodox, but I’m guess there are more people who’d prefer their significant other didn’t watch pr0n than do

– Butterfriedbacon

10. There’s a broader question of the industry in general.

I agree with you, but in my case it goes beyond that. I just don’t like that people in general support this f**ked up industry… Luckily for me, both me and my boyfriend think like that, so it’s fine.

– NineTailedDevil

11. Most dissenters were caught up on one particular element.

‘When I masturbate I only masturbate to them and I expect the same.’

Red f**king flag. I’d jump ship as soon as I heard that, and I don’t even remember the last time I watched p**n. I prefer reading it.

You don’t get to control your partners thoughts and trying to is abusive.

– left_tiddy

12. How bad is the harm?

I don’t think it’s wrong to feel that way.

P**n is addictive in nature and twist people’s perceptions of what intimacy should be like.

I’m willing to say that it has destroyed more relationships than anyone is willing to admit.

– Emanouche

13. Is it a together thing?

I mean everyone has their own boundaries which is fine.

For me I don’t like the idea of my boyfriend looking at another girl’s nudes at all, and probably wouldn’t be comfortable with p**n unless we watched it together.

– keIIzzz

14. Maybe it’s downright courteous?

Tbh I think when people in relationships watch p**n is because they don’t want to make their partners uncomfortable by hounding them with their needs.

In fairness, one person is always gonna be h**nier than the other, and watching p**n instead of making your partner uncomfortable is actually pretty solid logic.

– IzJusMeOG

15. “The hub.”

I’ve straight up had my girl hand me her phone with the hub opened up because she didn’t wanna deal with it lmao

– someguyat3am

An enlightening conversation as always, Reddit.

What do you think about this?

Give us your opinion in the comments.

The post People Talk About Whether It’s OK to Restrict Your Partner’s Online Watching Habits appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss Their Best Techniques for Quickly Ruining a Date

Dates can be pretty rough, and usually we’re trying our very best to do everything within our power to make them go well.

But what if, hypothetically, you wanted something a little different?

You have five seconds to ruin a date, what do you do? from AskReddit

Unsurprisingly, Reddit has ways to ruin things quickly.

Let’s take a look!

1. The hunger technique

Eat my food like I do when I’m on my own

– ToBoredomAGem

2. The art of the crunch

My sister told me about a quiet pub date she had with a guy recently who bought himself 2 packs of pork scratchings.

He opened both bags and separated them by most crunchy to least crunchy and then would pick 2 up at a time and ask her which one he should eat next.

He did this for the whole date.

They didn’t have a second date.

– Reave1905

3. The full assault

Ooh something I’m good at! Quickly find a way to steer the conversation to the eastern front during World War Two, and just keep talking about Stalingrad.

Once their eyes glaze over you know the city on the Volga has claimed yet another life

– tateochip

4. The money gambit

So, how much did you say you earn?

– dior_princess

5. The familiar face

Hi! Wow, you look just like my ex!

Done.

– firewire87

6. The vital vidya

Tell them I’ve played 7000 hrs of Grand Theft Auto.

Watch the interest dry up immediately.

– thelocalllegend

7. The gambling gambit

I used to work at a gaming bar.. this dude was on a first date and had been drinking with a girl for a while.

An hour or so in, he put like 40 bucks in the machine. He ended up hitting for like $1200 or something. Nothing crazy, but a nice hit.

We paid him out and he ordered a round of shots and soon after said he had to use the restroom.

Dude bolted. Left the girl with the bill. She legit walked in the bathroom looking for him, walked around the building.

Felt bad for her. She started crying at the bar, had a shot, and paid the bill while she waited for an Uber. Ouch.

– PuddingPoops

8. The sniff shift

One time a guy leaned over and deeply smelled a lock of my hair within the first couple minutes of our meeting for the first time.

I made up an excuse and left

– LydiaAgain

9. The unexpected double

Bring my friend and expect my date to treat them.

– s**ykenobi

10. Just go too fast

Say “I love you please marry me I’m not kidding”

– Thermal_bay

11. The “nice guy”

“I’m a really nice guy, like super nice, I would treat you so Good. Now show me your t**s.”

– invinoveritasb**ch

12. The warranty

I just watched this all play out in my head:

You meet someone online who seems to click with you.

You arrange to meet at a cozy restaurant.

When you arrive they’re already at the table, waiting for you.

You – hi, you look amazing

Date – thanks, now I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.

Pulls out huge wad of paper, and dumps it on the table

Date – you see it states here in the terms and condi..

– Your_One_Lord

13. The slug…system?

Pour salt on them and say “sorry, I really, really, reaaaaaaallllllly hate slugs”

– Randomredditwhale

14. Start a fight

Pull up their social media and point out all the things they like that you don’t

– _manicpixie

Yup, I’d say those are all sure to work.

Do you have any others to add?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Discuss Their Best Techniques for Quickly Ruining a Date appeared first on UberFacts.

Is This Woman a Jerk for Not Caring About Dad’s Cancer Diagnosis? Here’s How People Responded.

Family dynamics can be tricky…and they’re all very different.

What one person thinks is normal can seem outrageous to another person and vice versa.

And people definitely develop strong feelings about their relatives based on how they were raised.

This woman shared her personal story on the “Am I the *sshole?” page on Reddit and asked the readers there for advice.

AITA for not caring about my dad’s cancer diagnosis?

“For context, I (30F) am a product of my dad’s infidelity.

He lied to my mom about being single, they dated, he got my mom pregnant, she was given a heads up about dad’s shadiness by one of her coworkers, my mom confronted him, and that was that. My mom took out a restraining order against my dad before I turned 1 because of his constant threatening to take me away, so I never met him and I’ve never been interested in doing so.

Jump forward to 2018 and my mom told me she’d found my dad on Facebook and that they’d started messaging each other. She said he was looking forward to meeting me and that she’d set up a date for us to have dinner without asking if I was even interested in meeting him.

I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with my dad, but to avoid any drama with my mom, who lives with me, I caved and had dinner with him. It went well at first, but then he started bragging about all his money and his perfect daughters. It made me shut down and feel awful about myself. After dinner, he complained to my mom that I was unresponsive and didn’t seem excited to meet him.

Knowing my mom and her tendency to side with everyone else but her kids, I was given the silent treatment until I apologized. Apparently, I ruined his dream of meeting me by not welcoming him into my life with open arms. It’s now 2021 and in the short time we’ve known each other, my dad has managed to make me feel like sh*t many times.

The last straw was when he tried to guilt me for not contacting him everyday when I’d explained that I sometimes go through low periods where I retreat and have very little contact with anyone. (I know there’s a name for it, but I’ve never been properly diagnosed because I was ridiculed at a young age by my mom for feeling depressed when I had no real problems.)

My dad refused to understand that it’s for the sake of my mental health and said I just don’t want to build a relationship with him. I cut contact with him after that because I don’t feel like I owe him anything and I was tired of all his snide remarks about me. I was fine before we met and I certainly didn’t need one more person in my life to please. I was done.

A few days ago, my mom came to me crying about how my dad had just been diagnosed with cancer. Obviously, I feel bad for him because no one deserves that disease. But my mom now thinks I’m a monster for not crumbling to my knees in sorrow at the thought of possibly losing my dad.

She’s grown very close to him again over the past couple years, so she thinks he’s this great person that was only trying to get close to his long-lost daughter, but she doesn’t know how manipulative he was trying to be with me.

My mom isn’t speaking to me anymore and probably won’t until I contact my dad. I don’t want to invite him back in though. I’m sorry he’s going through this difficult time, but that’s about it. Am I an *sshole for not caring the way I’m “supposed” to?”

Let’s see how folks on Reddit responded.

This person said that the woman is not an *sshole and that she might want to consider cutting off ties with both of her parents.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user made it pretty clear: both of this woman’s parents really SUCK.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This individual agreed that the woman’s mother is also a manipulative person. And the dad just seems downright selfish.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that the woman might want to consider building her own support circle outside of her family and that this really does seem like a nightmare situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this reader argued that just because this is her biological father, it doesn’t mean the woman owes him anything.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think about how this woman is reacting to her father’s cancer diagnosis?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know.

Thanks in advance!

The post Is This Woman a Jerk for Not Caring About Dad’s Cancer Diagnosis? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In.

Back in the 1960s, women burned their bras to protest the Vietnam War (among other things), but in “polite” society, the proper undergarments have always been required. Even the sitcom Seinfeld tackled the issue in an episode in the late 90s, in which a woman wearing no bra (or wearing only a bra) “caused” an accident and was sued in court.

Bras aren’t required though, right? So, does choosing not to wear one make a woman an a$shole?

That’s what this OP is wondering after an incident at home. She came to dinner with her teenage sister and parents without a bra, and her father made a comment about her needing to put one on before they could eat dinner.

I (19F) am currently living at home with my parents. This happened back in September, I am only posting now because something recently reminded me of this.

I tend to usually not wear a bra around the house, because it’s uncomfortable. During COVID times, since I don’t leave the house very much, that means that I am usually not wearing a bra.

The incident in question happened when my parents called me and my sister (17F) to eat dinner. I was not wearing a bra, as per usual, and my dad made some comment like “This is going to be a bra-wearing meal.” I thought it was a joke, kind of, so I just kind of said nothing, and obviously didn’t go to put a bra on.

When her father wouldn’t let it go, making it clear that he was not joking, her sister took her own bra off in solidarity.

But he kept hounding, saying that I needed to go put a bra on before we could eat dinner. My sister (who I guess is way braver than I am), in response to what he was saying immediately took her bra off. (She took it off while her shirt was still on so it’s not like she stripped in front of anyone or anything).

Their father confessed that it “makes him uncomfortable” when they don’t wear bras in the house and then proceeded to give them the silent treatment for the rest of the night.

The next day, things were back to normal.

Then my dad got really quiet and said that it “makes him uncomfortable” when we don’t wear bras, and he just kind of left the room. He eventually came back to eat dinner with us, but he didn’t say a word the entire time.

The rest of us were shocked, I guess? and no one really said anything for the entire meal and it kind of ruined dinner. He also wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the night, but by the next day he was pretending like everything was back to normal.

When it happened again, though, he again reiterated his discomfort and acted angry that she wasn’t complying.

And again, recently, he made some comment about how what I was wearing (a t-shirt with no bra and shorts) made him uncomfortable, and he got mad again and wouldn’t talk to anyone.

Her mom seems to be staying out of it, and she’s wondering if she’s doing something wrong since she’s making her father uncomfortable.

My mom was there for both events and didn’t say anything, although she usually doesn’t go against my dad. But he got pretty mad, and I don’t really like making people uncomfortable.

So, AITA for not putting a bra on for my dad when it makes him uncomfortable if I don’t?

What does Reddit say? Let’s keep reading and find out!

This man made a very good point, that the rule should apply to everyone, then?

Image Credit: Reddit

There’s an obvious elephant in the room, too.

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s really not normal – or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Image Credit: Reddit

But apparently it’s a thing (that needs to change).

Image Credit: Reddit

This is how dads are supposed to act.

Image Credit: Reddit

The bottom line is that it’s weird for parents to sexualize their kids, full stop.

And no one should get to dictate what other people wear under their clothes.

What are your thoughts? Share in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In. appeared first on UberFacts.