People Talk About Whether It’s OK to Restrict Your Partner’s Online Watching Habits

Hold onto your hats, because today we’re diving into one of the most genuinely controversial things posted to Unpopular Opinions in a while.

And it’s all about…”adult entertainment.”

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone if they watch pr0n.
Now don’t downvote this because you disagree, I know its an unpopular opinion, but I am genuinely uncomfortable by people watching pr0n while they’re in a relationship with me. It honestly feels like cheating. Why would you need to get sexual gratification somewhere else when I am literally right here willing to give you all the material you could ever want? Why do you need to get that from another woman?

I’m currently in a serious relationship and I’ve talked this through with my partner and he is ok with it and respects my boundaries. I am completely committed to the person I’m dating and I will only go to them for things that I deem exclusive to a romantic relationship, therefore I expect the same from them. When I masturbate I only masturbate to them and I expect the same. When I feel genuine romantic emotions, I only feel them toward them, and I expect the same. The reason being is that I am very, very serious about long term relationships and I’d feel like I was doing something very wrong if I thought of anyone else in this way.

If you’ve discussed it with your partner and you’re both ok with pr0n, thats cool, but I’ve been pressured by multiple people in the past to act like I’m ok with it, but I just never have been. Pr0n is something I’m highly uncomfortable with, it makes me feel jealous and betrayed and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. Those should be valid emotions to feel, but people try to make it seem like its irrational to feel that way when I truly believe it isn’t.

I know a lot of people feel the same way as me, just know that its ok to set boundaries in your relationship because your feelings are just as valid as your partner’s. That goes for anything, really.

Turns out the people of Reddit have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about this.

1. Some gave kudos.

Great post.

You know what you want in a relationship, discussed it with your partner, came to an understanding that you both agree upon.

That’s exactly how it should be done.

– drmarts1973

2. But is this openness or just intimidation?

If my partner was adamant about me not watching p**n to the degree that they’d consider it cheating if I did, I would never in a million years share my deeper sexual desires with them.

Now, that’s just me personally and if you guys do communicate a lot and well there’s probably not an issue but I think this is the one thing you’re missing; As far as YOU know he doesn’t have sexual desires you wouldn’t be comfortable with, but you’ve taken such a hard stance on something far less consequential that it kind of implies that you’d have a negative reaction to, for example, very kinky s**.

This isn’t guaranteed or anything, but based on your post and what I’ve read of your responses that’s at least how I’d personally feel.

– Pridetoss

3. Well that’s…um…

Bruh my ex didn’t want me to watch p**n back then and she only wanted to have s** every six months. My s** drive is off the f**king charts. I don’t want to force her soooo.

We all know how that end up lmaoo.

– chili_oil_best_oil

4. Some called red flag, no question.

Wtf is this thread. It’s very unhealthy to try and control people’s behaviour and s**ual expression. Your bf can’t control how you dress. Or who your friends are.

“But it makes me uncomfortable”

Yes that’s what possessiveness is.

This isn’t an unpopular opinion it’s an unhealthy one. You can’t encourage people to be so clingy and anxious. Your bf can only c** if he thinks of you? When someone is in a relationship they can literally only ever think of you?

Doomed to failure. Instead you need to learn how to cope with other people’s behaviours. You need to learn that love isn’t meant to be all encompassing. Your partner shouldn’t be the only person in the world.

I would really consider it a red flag in any relationship.

– Kaiisim

5. The term “thought policing” came up a lo.

I can get the p**n thing, but expecting to be able to police your partners thoughts? That’s borderline abusive.

It’s so unhealthy and OP really should examine why she feels so insecure in her relationships that other women can’t even take up any space in her partner’s private thoughts.

– scottishlastname

6. And then this person wrote the opposite diatribe.

Watching people in this thread absolutely bend over backwards to defend the idea of watching p**nography is insane to me.

How is it controlling to ask your partner to not watch other people f**king? Would your opinion be changed if OP’s partner were going to a friend’s house to watch two people f**k and bate in the corner? (I’m not trying to strawman; this is a genuine question because in my mind they are not very different from each other.) P**n has been proven time and time again to impact sexuality. Wanting your intimate relationship with your partner to progress at a natural pace is not controlling, imo.

People are bringing up the idea of “thought policing” in regards to OP’s partner’s masturbatory practices. While I can sort of understand arriving at that conclusion, I highly doubt OP is popping in every time their partner masturbates to be like “hey, make sure you’re thinking about me.” I’m pretty sure it was a one time conversation where she made her preferences known, and she trusts her partner to make private decisions in regards to that boundary.

I understand that people have s**ual needs, and that sometimes they just want to c**. I do not think that all people who use p**nography on a regular basis are bad people with ill intentions. However, when you’re in a long-term relationship with someone, I don’t think its controlling or insecure to ask your partner to not watch p**n. P**n is idealistic and largely plays at humanity’s base fantasies – aka, big breasts/penises, “ideal” looking genitalia, and overall extremely “attractive” people. I’d feel pretty insecure if my partner was consistently seeking sexual content from people who look very different from me.

Idk, maybe I’m the weird one here, but I agree with OP. I don’t think its controlling as long as it’s something that’s talked about early and with tact in a relationship. If you wouldn’t want to date somebody who wouldn’t want you watching p**n, that’s fine!! But defending p**n as a morally neutral thing is just pretty silly, imo. I just think it’s weird that people are accusing OP of being controlling and trying to change her opinion. There are plenty of valid reasons to dislike p**n, especially in a long term romantic relationship.

– LegitAllergic2TheSun

7. Is it insecurity? Or a reasonable expectation?

The only time a gf had a problem with p**n was when I was 18 and she was really insecure.

I especially wonder about the part where OP expects him to only think about her during masturbation. It might work in the early stages of a relationship, but I think it’s completely unrealistic for a relationship that lasts several years.

Chances are, because of how strict she is about this stuff, he’s just gonna lie to her about it. And honestly I think it’s perfectly harmless if he does. Those are his private thoughts after all, they don’t necessarily mean anything.

– HighwayTemporary3266

8. “To each their own.”

I couldn’t imagine asking someone to not watch it. To each their own though.

As long as you find someone who’s comfortable with your boundary, you are in the right mind.

Happy you’re expressing your feelings. Most people wouldn’t.

– MavenMermaid

9. Love the use of “unorthodox” here.

I don’t really think this is crazy, a little unorthodox, but I’m guess there are more people who’d prefer their significant other didn’t watch pr0n than do

– Butterfriedbacon

10. There’s a broader question of the industry in general.

I agree with you, but in my case it goes beyond that. I just don’t like that people in general support this f**ked up industry… Luckily for me, both me and my boyfriend think like that, so it’s fine.

– NineTailedDevil

11. Most dissenters were caught up on one particular element.

‘When I masturbate I only masturbate to them and I expect the same.’

Red f**king flag. I’d jump ship as soon as I heard that, and I don’t even remember the last time I watched p**n. I prefer reading it.

You don’t get to control your partners thoughts and trying to is abusive.

– left_tiddy

12. How bad is the harm?

I don’t think it’s wrong to feel that way.

P**n is addictive in nature and twist people’s perceptions of what intimacy should be like.

I’m willing to say that it has destroyed more relationships than anyone is willing to admit.

– Emanouche

13. Is it a together thing?

I mean everyone has their own boundaries which is fine.

For me I don’t like the idea of my boyfriend looking at another girl’s nudes at all, and probably wouldn’t be comfortable with p**n unless we watched it together.

– keIIzzz

14. Maybe it’s downright courteous?

Tbh I think when people in relationships watch p**n is because they don’t want to make their partners uncomfortable by hounding them with their needs.

In fairness, one person is always gonna be h**nier than the other, and watching p**n instead of making your partner uncomfortable is actually pretty solid logic.

– IzJusMeOG

15. “The hub.”

I’ve straight up had my girl hand me her phone with the hub opened up because she didn’t wanna deal with it lmao

– someguyat3am

An enlightening conversation as always, Reddit.

What do you think about this?

Give us your opinion in the comments.

The post People Talk About Whether It’s OK to Restrict Your Partner’s Online Watching Habits appeared first on UberFacts.

May 19, 2021

People Discuss Their Best Techniques for Quickly Ruining a Date

Dates can be pretty rough, and usually we’re trying our very best to do everything within our power to make them go well.

But what if, hypothetically, you wanted something a little different?

You have five seconds to ruin a date, what do you do? from AskReddit

Unsurprisingly, Reddit has ways to ruin things quickly.

Let’s take a look!

1. The hunger technique

Eat my food like I do when I’m on my own

– ToBoredomAGem

2. The art of the crunch

My sister told me about a quiet pub date she had with a guy recently who bought himself 2 packs of pork scratchings.

He opened both bags and separated them by most crunchy to least crunchy and then would pick 2 up at a time and ask her which one he should eat next.

He did this for the whole date.

They didn’t have a second date.

– Reave1905

3. The full assault

Ooh something I’m good at! Quickly find a way to steer the conversation to the eastern front during World War Two, and just keep talking about Stalingrad.

Once their eyes glaze over you know the city on the Volga has claimed yet another life

– tateochip

4. The money gambit

So, how much did you say you earn?

– dior_princess

5. The familiar face

Hi! Wow, you look just like my ex!

Done.

– firewire87

6. The vital vidya

Tell them I’ve played 7000 hrs of Grand Theft Auto.

Watch the interest dry up immediately.

– thelocalllegend

7. The gambling gambit

I used to work at a gaming bar.. this dude was on a first date and had been drinking with a girl for a while.

An hour or so in, he put like 40 bucks in the machine. He ended up hitting for like $1200 or something. Nothing crazy, but a nice hit.

We paid him out and he ordered a round of shots and soon after said he had to use the restroom.

Dude bolted. Left the girl with the bill. She legit walked in the bathroom looking for him, walked around the building.

Felt bad for her. She started crying at the bar, had a shot, and paid the bill while she waited for an Uber. Ouch.

– PuddingPoops

8. The sniff shift

One time a guy leaned over and deeply smelled a lock of my hair within the first couple minutes of our meeting for the first time.

I made up an excuse and left

– LydiaAgain

9. The unexpected double

Bring my friend and expect my date to treat them.

– s**ykenobi

10. Just go too fast

Say “I love you please marry me I’m not kidding”

– Thermal_bay

11. The “nice guy”

“I’m a really nice guy, like super nice, I would treat you so Good. Now show me your t**s.”

– invinoveritasb**ch

12. The warranty

I just watched this all play out in my head:

You meet someone online who seems to click with you.

You arrange to meet at a cozy restaurant.

When you arrive they’re already at the table, waiting for you.

You – hi, you look amazing

Date – thanks, now I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.

Pulls out huge wad of paper, and dumps it on the table

Date – you see it states here in the terms and condi..

– Your_One_Lord

13. The slug…system?

Pour salt on them and say “sorry, I really, really, reaaaaaaallllllly hate slugs”

– Randomredditwhale

14. Start a fight

Pull up their social media and point out all the things they like that you don’t

– _manicpixie

Yup, I’d say those are all sure to work.

Do you have any others to add?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Discuss Their Best Techniques for Quickly Ruining a Date appeared first on UberFacts.

May 18, 2021

Is This Woman a Jerk for Not Caring About Dad’s Cancer Diagnosis? Here’s How People Responded.

Family dynamics can be tricky…and they’re all very different.

What one person thinks is normal can seem outrageous to another person and vice versa.

And people definitely develop strong feelings about their relatives based on how they were raised.

This woman shared her personal story on the “Am I the *sshole?” page on Reddit and asked the readers there for advice.

AITA for not caring about my dad’s cancer diagnosis?

“For context, I (30F) am a product of my dad’s infidelity.

He lied to my mom about being single, they dated, he got my mom pregnant, she was given a heads up about dad’s shadiness by one of her coworkers, my mom confronted him, and that was that. My mom took out a restraining order against my dad before I turned 1 because of his constant threatening to take me away, so I never met him and I’ve never been interested in doing so.

Jump forward to 2018 and my mom told me she’d found my dad on Facebook and that they’d started messaging each other. She said he was looking forward to meeting me and that she’d set up a date for us to have dinner without asking if I was even interested in meeting him.

I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with my dad, but to avoid any drama with my mom, who lives with me, I caved and had dinner with him. It went well at first, but then he started bragging about all his money and his perfect daughters. It made me shut down and feel awful about myself. After dinner, he complained to my mom that I was unresponsive and didn’t seem excited to meet him.

Knowing my mom and her tendency to side with everyone else but her kids, I was given the silent treatment until I apologized. Apparently, I ruined his dream of meeting me by not welcoming him into my life with open arms. It’s now 2021 and in the short time we’ve known each other, my dad has managed to make me feel like sh*t many times.

The last straw was when he tried to guilt me for not contacting him everyday when I’d explained that I sometimes go through low periods where I retreat and have very little contact with anyone. (I know there’s a name for it, but I’ve never been properly diagnosed because I was ridiculed at a young age by my mom for feeling depressed when I had no real problems.)

My dad refused to understand that it’s for the sake of my mental health and said I just don’t want to build a relationship with him. I cut contact with him after that because I don’t feel like I owe him anything and I was tired of all his snide remarks about me. I was fine before we met and I certainly didn’t need one more person in my life to please. I was done.

A few days ago, my mom came to me crying about how my dad had just been diagnosed with cancer. Obviously, I feel bad for him because no one deserves that disease. But my mom now thinks I’m a monster for not crumbling to my knees in sorrow at the thought of possibly losing my dad.

She’s grown very close to him again over the past couple years, so she thinks he’s this great person that was only trying to get close to his long-lost daughter, but she doesn’t know how manipulative he was trying to be with me.

My mom isn’t speaking to me anymore and probably won’t until I contact my dad. I don’t want to invite him back in though. I’m sorry he’s going through this difficult time, but that’s about it. Am I an *sshole for not caring the way I’m “supposed” to?”

Let’s see how folks on Reddit responded.

This person said that the woman is not an *sshole and that she might want to consider cutting off ties with both of her parents.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user made it pretty clear: both of this woman’s parents really SUCK.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This individual agreed that the woman’s mother is also a manipulative person. And the dad just seems downright selfish.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that the woman might want to consider building her own support circle outside of her family and that this really does seem like a nightmare situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this reader argued that just because this is her biological father, it doesn’t mean the woman owes him anything.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think about how this woman is reacting to her father’s cancer diagnosis?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know.

Thanks in advance!

The post Is This Woman a Jerk for Not Caring About Dad’s Cancer Diagnosis? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

May 14, 2021

A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In.

Back in the 1960s, women burned their bras to protest the Vietnam War (among other things), but in “polite” society, the proper undergarments have always been required. Even the sitcom Seinfeld tackled the issue in an episode in the late 90s, in which a woman wearing no bra (or wearing only a bra) “caused” an accident and was sued in court.

Bras aren’t required though, right? So, does choosing not to wear one make a woman an a$shole?

That’s what this OP is wondering after an incident at home. She came to dinner with her teenage sister and parents without a bra, and her father made a comment about her needing to put one on before they could eat dinner.

I (19F) am currently living at home with my parents. This happened back in September, I am only posting now because something recently reminded me of this.

I tend to usually not wear a bra around the house, because it’s uncomfortable. During COVID times, since I don’t leave the house very much, that means that I am usually not wearing a bra.

The incident in question happened when my parents called me and my sister (17F) to eat dinner. I was not wearing a bra, as per usual, and my dad made some comment like “This is going to be a bra-wearing meal.” I thought it was a joke, kind of, so I just kind of said nothing, and obviously didn’t go to put a bra on.

When her father wouldn’t let it go, making it clear that he was not joking, her sister took her own bra off in solidarity.

But he kept hounding, saying that I needed to go put a bra on before we could eat dinner. My sister (who I guess is way braver than I am), in response to what he was saying immediately took her bra off. (She took it off while her shirt was still on so it’s not like she stripped in front of anyone or anything).

Their father confessed that it “makes him uncomfortable” when they don’t wear bras in the house and then proceeded to give them the silent treatment for the rest of the night.

The next day, things were back to normal.

Then my dad got really quiet and said that it “makes him uncomfortable” when we don’t wear bras, and he just kind of left the room. He eventually came back to eat dinner with us, but he didn’t say a word the entire time.

The rest of us were shocked, I guess? and no one really said anything for the entire meal and it kind of ruined dinner. He also wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the night, but by the next day he was pretending like everything was back to normal.

When it happened again, though, he again reiterated his discomfort and acted angry that she wasn’t complying.

And again, recently, he made some comment about how what I was wearing (a t-shirt with no bra and shorts) made him uncomfortable, and he got mad again and wouldn’t talk to anyone.

Her mom seems to be staying out of it, and she’s wondering if she’s doing something wrong since she’s making her father uncomfortable.

My mom was there for both events and didn’t say anything, although she usually doesn’t go against my dad. But he got pretty mad, and I don’t really like making people uncomfortable.

So, AITA for not putting a bra on for my dad when it makes him uncomfortable if I don’t?

What does Reddit say? Let’s keep reading and find out!

This man made a very good point, that the rule should apply to everyone, then?

Image Credit: Reddit

There’s an obvious elephant in the room, too.

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s really not normal – or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Image Credit: Reddit

But apparently it’s a thing (that needs to change).

Image Credit: Reddit

This is how dads are supposed to act.

Image Credit: Reddit

The bottom line is that it’s weird for parents to sexualize their kids, full stop.

And no one should get to dictate what other people wear under their clothes.

What are your thoughts? Share in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In. appeared first on UberFacts.

May 14, 2021

A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In.

Bras aren’t required though, right? So, does choosing not to wear one make a woman an a$shole?

I (19F) am currently living at home with my parents. This happened back in September, I am only posting now because something recently reminded me of this.

I tend to usually not wear a bra around the house, because it’s uncomfortable. During COVID times, since I don’t leave the house very much, that means that I am usually not wearing a bra.

The incident in question happened when my parents called me and my sister (17F) to eat dinner. I was not wearing a bra, as per usual, and my dad made some comment like “This is going to be a bra-wearing meal.” I thought it was a joke, kind of, so I just kind of said nothing, and obviously didn’t go to put a bra on.

When her father wouldn’t let it go, making it clear that he was not joking, her sister took her own bra off in solidarity.

But he kept hounding, saying that I needed to go put a bra on before we could eat dinner. My sister (who I guess is way braver than I am), in response to what he was saying immediately took her bra off. (She took it off while her shirt was still on so it’s not like she stripped in front of anyone or anything).

Their father confessed that it “makes him uncomfortable” when they don’t wear bras in the house and then proceeded to give them the silent treatment for the rest of the night.

The next day, things were back to normal.

Then my dad got really quiet and said that it “makes him uncomfortable” when we don’t wear bras, and he just kind of left the room. He eventually came back to eat dinner with us, but he didn’t say a word the entire time.

The rest of us were shocked, I guess? and no one really said anything for the entire meal and it kind of ruined dinner. He also wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the night, but by the next day he was pretending like everything was back to normal.

When it happened again, though, he again reiterated his discomfort and acted angry that she wasn’t complying.

And again, recently, he made some comment about how what I was wearing (a t-shirt with no bra and shorts) made him uncomfortable, and he got mad again and wouldn’t talk to anyone.

Her mom seems to be staying out of it, and she’s wondering if she’s doing something wrong since she’s making her father uncomfortable.

My mom was there for both events and didn’t say anything, although she usually doesn’t go against my dad. But he got pretty mad, and I don’t really like making people uncomfortable.

So, AITA for not putting a bra on for my dad when it makes him uncomfortable if I don’t?

What does Reddit say? Let’s keep reading and find out!

This man made a very good point, that the rule should apply to everyone, then?

Image Credit: Reddit

There’s an obvious elephant in the room, too.

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s really not normal – or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Image Credit: Reddit

But apparently it’s a thing (that needs to change).

Image Credit: Reddit

This is how dads are supposed to act.

Image Credit: Reddit

The bottom line is that it’s weird for parents to sexualize their kids, full stop.

And no one should get to dictate what other people wear under their clothes.

What are your thoughts? Share in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In. appeared first on UberFacts.

May 14, 2021

A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There

If you’re an adult, I think those habits should be your business and no one else’s – not even a romantic partner’s, if we’re being completely honest.

When it comes to health and comfort, I am a crusader, y’all.

This woman received a bikini as a gift from her mother, but to wear it would mean changing her personal habits.

She and her mother have been at odds over her personal style for some time, so likely her mother knew that the gift was not going to be well received.

AITA for not wearing bikini that mom bought me?

For context, my (19F) mother (44F) has been trying to get me to dress more “s**y” for a while now but it’s just not my thing. I have told her this several times but her response is always the same. I need to start dressing s**y like girls my age, otherwise I will get bullied at university.

This is, of course, a load of bollocks. Not once have I been bullied for my “uns**y” fashion sense. Why would it start now?

She got me a super skimpy swimsuit for Christmas, which pissed me off to no end, but I decided to grin and bear it for the sake of avoiding an argument. I would quietly pack it away and let it gather dust. It’s not like I could wear it anyway as I keep a full bush and the set she got me doesn’t give enough coverage.

When OP decided not to wear her mother’s bikini on a beach trip, things came to a head. Her mother informed her that she needed to do more grooming, lest she be rejected by romantic partners in the future.

OP is sexually active and her boyfriend has no trouble with her choices, but she didn’t feel like discussing it all in front of her family – understandably so.

Recently, we were going on a trip to the beach and I picked my own bikini over my mother’s. She asked me why I wasn’t wearing the bikini she got me for Christmas. I said that I didn’t want to. She blew up at me and called me ungrateful. I told her she needs to listen to me more and not buy things on my behalf just because she likes them.

She asked me what was wrong with the set she got me. I told her that the bikini bottoms didn’t have enough coverage. She told me I need to shave more often but I stood my ground and told her that I like my pubic hair. She said that I need to change my attitude towards grooming or my boyfriend will break up with me.

I desperately wanted to tell her that I am sexually active (she just assumes that I am not because I am an introvert) and that my boyfriend loves my body the way it is but this argument was taking place in the hallway, with my brother (21M) and sister (23F) hearing every word, and I was humiliated enough as it was.

Her boyfriend and brother supported OP, but her sister thinks she should listen to their mom (and seems to agree with her opinions on grooming), so now she’s feeling conflicted.

I was angry and upset and needed to vent so I stormed off to my room and told them that I wasn’t going. My mother’s words really hurt and started to play on my mind, so I FaceTimed my boyfriend for some support. He was so sweet and reassuring. I was in tears when I rang and his lovely words really cheered me up.

I received two separate messages from my siblings. One from my brother asking if I was okay and one from my sister calling me a bitch and siding with our mother. She told me that she was only trying to help and that I would be wise to listen to our mother every once in a while rather than “constantly going against the grain”.

She then followed it up with a rather nasty “Word of advice regarding guys, nobody likes a hairy vag”.

I am so confused right now. My brother and my boyfriend seem to be on my side but my sister is pretty firmly on my mother’s.

Am I the asshole here?

Reddit, of course, is ready to weigh in.

The first comment was about her mother wanting her to “dress more sexy,” which is kind of odd, if you think about it.

Image Credit: Reddit

This woman’s advice was to refuse to discuss it at all.

Image Credit: Reddit

Proof that women have plenty of internalized misogyny of their own.

Image Credit: Reddit

If you want a guy’s point of view…

Image Credit: Reddit

Sadly, this woman is not alone.

Image Credit: Reddit

Y’all, I think we should all try harder to just mind our own business, don’t you think? I mean, it’s worth shot…

What are your thoughts on this? Have you had a similar experience? If so, share it with us in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There appeared first on UberFacts.

May 14, 2021

A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There

If you’re an adult, I think those habits should be your business and no one else’s – not even a romantic partner’s, if we’re being completely honest.

When it comes to health and comfort, I am a crusader, y’all.

This woman received a bikini as a gift from her mother, but to wear it would mean changing her personal habits.

She and her mother have been at odds over her personal style for some time, so likely her mother knew that the gift was not going to be well received.

AITA for not wearing bikini that mom bought me?

For context, my (19F) mother (44F) has been trying to get me to dress more “s**y” for a while now but it’s just not my thing. I have told her this several times but her response is always the same. I need to start dressing s**y like girls my age, otherwise I will get bullied at university.

This is, of course, a load of bollocks. Not once have I been bullied for my “uns**y” fashion sense. Why would it start now?

She got me a super skimpy swimsuit for Christmas, which pissed me off to no end, but I decided to grin and bear it for the sake of avoiding an argument. I would quietly pack it away and let it gather dust. It’s not like I could wear it anyway as I keep a full bush and the set she got me doesn’t give enough coverage.

OP is sexually active and her boyfriend has no trouble with her choices, but she didn’t feel like discussing it all in front of her family – understandably so.

Recently, we were going on a trip to the beach and I picked my own bikini over my mother’s. She asked me why I wasn’t wearing the bikini she got me for Christmas. I said that I didn’t want to. She blew up at me and called me ungrateful. I told her she needs to listen to me more and not buy things on my behalf just because she likes them.

She asked me what was wrong with the set she got me. I told her that the bikini bottoms didn’t have enough coverage. She told me I need to shave more often but I stood my ground and told her that I like my pubic hair. She said that I need to change my attitude towards grooming or my boyfriend will break up with me.

I desperately wanted to tell her that I am sexually active (she just assumes that I am not because I am an introvert) and that my boyfriend loves my body the way it is but this argument was taking place in the hallway, with my brother (21M) and sister (23F) hearing every word, and I was humiliated enough as it was.

Her boyfriend and brother supported OP, but her sister thinks she should listen to their mom (and seems to agree with her opinions on grooming), so now she’s feeling conflicted.

I was angry and upset and needed to vent so I stormed off to my room and told them that I wasn’t going. My mother’s words really hurt and started to play on my mind, so I FaceTimed my boyfriend for some support. He was so sweet and reassuring. I was in tears when I rang and his lovely words really cheered me up.

I received two separate messages from my siblings. One from my brother asking if I was okay and one from my sister calling me a bitch and siding with our mother. She told me that she was only trying to help and that I would be wise to listen to our mother every once in a while rather than “constantly going against the grain”.

She then followed it up with a rather nasty “Word of advice regarding guys, nobody likes a hairy vag”.

I am so confused right now. My brother and my boyfriend seem to be on my side but my sister is pretty firmly on my mother’s.

Am I the asshole here?

Reddit, of course, is ready to weigh in.

The first comment was about her mother wanting her to “dress more sexy,” which is kind of odd, if you think about it.

Image Credit: Reddit

This woman’s advice was to refuse to discuss it at all.

Image Credit: Reddit

Proof that women have plenty of internalized misogyny of their own.

Image Credit: Reddit

If you want a guy’s point of view…

Image Credit: Reddit

Sadly, this woman is not alone.

Image Credit: Reddit

Y’all, I think we should all try harder to just mind our own business, don’t you think? I mean, it’s worth shot…

What are your thoughts on this? Have you had a similar experience? If so, share it with us in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There appeared first on UberFacts.

May 14, 2021

A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name

For a lot of women, taking their new spouse’s name after marriage is understood, accepted, and even anticipated. More and more women are reconsidering what they see as an antiquated notion and deciding to keep their own names, even after marriage.

Whichever way you go, there are complications and little annoyances to deal with, all of which have to deal with physically changing your name, or correcting people when you don’t.

And that’s before we even get into the complication of divorce, which is what prompted this post on Reddit’s Am I The A$shole thread.

OP (Original Poster) was 19 when she married her high school sweetheart and took his last name. Their marriage ended shortly thereafter and she moved to another country to start over, but didn’t change her name.

The main reason for that (she says) is that her maiden name is hard to spell, hard to pronounce, and was given to her by an abusive father, so she saw no reason to jump through the hoops to change it back.

I (31f) got married very young, 19, to a guy who was also 19 at the time. We were high school sweethearts and unfortunately he fell in love with a coworker and left me for her about a year into our marriage. We divorced and I moved to an entire different country across the world to “restart”. One thing that I did keep from that marriage was his last name.

My dad was born in Russia (I was born and raised in the US) and my maiden name was 9 letters long and ridiculously hard/impossible to spell or pronounce for people. And to top it off my dad was extremely abusive and I ended up living with a friend from 14 till graduation because of his abuse. So I had no real attachments to my maiden name and it was only a burden.

Her ex’s name, by comparison, is not only easy to spell and pronounce, but in her new language, it has a meaning she enjoys.

My ex husband’s last name, now mine, has an amazingly simple impossible to pronounce wrong/misspell name that has an amazing meaning. Think along the lines of Love. It’s great! And works great in my new main language.

Recently she’s become pregnant – a welcome realization and addition to her happy life. She has a good job, pays for her own place, and is happily free.

The father does not want to be involved in any way and she says that she is fine with his decision. She plans to give the baby the last name she’s had for 13+ years.

Over the last year I found myself pregnant with a guy I had been seeing for some time but had a messy background with his ex. I have a great job that was pandemic proof and a lovely home I pay for myself. I’m really proud of the life I have built and I wasn’t sad to be pregnant especially since I wasn’t sure if it would happen for me and I always wanted kids.

Sadly, the guy decided he wanted to try and make his relationship with his ex. I am not going after him for any child support, as I don’t need it and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with our baby.

Now I am planning to have my baby and to give my baby what has been my last name now for almost 13 years.

Then, her ex-husband, who she hadn’t spoken to in a decade, messaged her on Facebook.

Not sure how or when someone informed my ex husband about my pregnancy (I didn’t announce) but recently I opened a message from him on social media. I was shocked to say the least as I haven’t heard from in a decade.

He knew she was pregnant and wanted to know whether or not she was planning to give the baby “his” last name.

The point of his message was that he knew I was pregnant and he wanted to know if I planned on giving the baby “his” last name. I responded friendly and said that although I did get the name from marrying him that I felt like after all these years and being on a different continent then him, it was also mine.

I don’t think of him when I use it. I just think of who I am now.

When she said yes, he flipped out. He called her names, and their mutual old friends are all on his side.

Well he FLIPPED out. He wrote me scathing messages calling me “whore” and saying how he won’t stand for a “bastard” child to be sporting his last name. Now I’m getting messages from his girlfriend, his friends that we used to know in high school, and his random family members. All calling me names and telling me I’m a horrible person for using this last name on my child and even on myself.

They keep calling me “obsessed” and a “stalker”. It’s honestly so scary to open up any apps these days because I know a barrage of hateful messages will be waiting for me.

She feels like it’s her name, she never thinks about him, they haven’t spoken in a decade or more, so…is she wrong?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say, shall we?

The top comment points out that he’s the one being weird and stalker-ish, not her.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah, it’s not like he’s the only person in the world with that last name. Is he going to scream at all of them?

Image Credit: Reddit

Plain and simple.

Image Credit: Reddit

There seems to be a lot of moral finger pointing from a guy who cheated on his wife. Just sayin.

Image Credit: Reddit

Smash the patriarchy.

Image Credit: Reddit

I think this woman is strong and amazing and I wish her the best.

What are your thoughts? If you disagree with me (and the commenters) tell us why down in the comments!

The post A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name appeared first on UberFacts.

May 14, 2021

A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name

Whichever way you go, there are complications and little annoyances to deal with, all of which have to deal with physically changing your name, or correcting people when you don’t.

And that’s before we even get into the complication of divorce, which is what prompted this post on Reddit’s Am I The A$shole thread.

I (31f) got married very young, 19, to a guy who was also 19 at the time. We were high school sweethearts and unfortunately he fell in love with a coworker and left me for her about a year into our marriage. We divorced and I moved to an entire different country across the world to “restart”. One thing that I did keep from that marriage was his last name.

My dad was born in Russia (I was born and raised in the US) and my maiden name was 9 letters long and ridiculously hard/impossible to spell or pronounce for people. And to top it off my dad was extremely abusive and I ended up living with a friend from 14 till graduation because of his abuse. So I had no real attachments to my maiden name and it was only a burden.

Her ex’s name, by comparison, is not only easy to spell and pronounce, but in her new language, it has a meaning she enjoys.

My ex husband’s last name, now mine, has an amazingly simple impossible to pronounce wrong/misspell name that has an amazing meaning. Think along the lines of Love. It’s great! And works great in my new main language.

Recently she’s become pregnant – a welcome realization and addition to her happy life. She has a good job, pays for her own place, and is happily free.

The father does not want to be involved in any way and she says that she is fine with his decision. She plans to give the baby the last name she’s had for 13+ years.

Over the last year I found myself pregnant with a guy I had been seeing for some time but had a messy background with his ex. I have a great job that was pandemic proof and a lovely home I pay for myself. I’m really proud of the life I have built and I wasn’t sad to be pregnant especially since I wasn’t sure if it would happen for me and I always wanted kids.

Sadly, the guy decided he wanted to try and make his relationship with his ex. I am not going after him for any child support, as I don’t need it and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with our baby.

Now I am planning to have my baby and to give my baby what has been my last name now for almost 13 years.

Then, her ex-husband, who she hadn’t spoken to in a decade, messaged her on Facebook.

Not sure how or when someone informed my ex husband about my pregnancy (I didn’t announce) but recently I opened a message from him on social media. I was shocked to say the least as I haven’t heard from in a decade.

He knew she was pregnant and wanted to know whether or not she was planning to give the baby “his” last name.

The point of his message was that he knew I was pregnant and he wanted to know if I planned on giving the baby “his” last name. I responded friendly and said that although I did get the name from marrying him that I felt like after all these years and being on a different continent then him, it was also mine.

I don’t think of him when I use it. I just think of who I am now.

When she said yes, he flipped out. He called her names, and their mutual old friends are all on his side.

Well he FLIPPED out. He wrote me scathing messages calling me “whore” and saying how he won’t stand for a “bastard” child to be sporting his last name. Now I’m getting messages from his girlfriend, his friends that we used to know in high school, and his random family members. All calling me names and telling me I’m a horrible person for using this last name on my child and even on myself.

They keep calling me “obsessed” and a “stalker”. It’s honestly so scary to open up any apps these days because I know a barrage of hateful messages will be waiting for me.

She feels like it’s her name, she never thinks about him, they haven’t spoken in a decade or more, so…is she wrong?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say, shall we?

The top comment points out that he’s the one being weird and stalker-ish, not her.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah, it’s not like he’s the only person in the world with that last name. Is he going to scream at all of them?

Image Credit: Reddit

Plain and simple.

Image Credit: Reddit

There seems to be a lot of moral finger pointing from a guy who cheated on his wife. Just sayin.

Image Credit: Reddit

Smash the patriarchy.

Image Credit: Reddit

I think this woman is strong and amazing and I wish her the best.

What are your thoughts? If you disagree with me (and the commenters) tell us why down in the comments!

The post A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name appeared first on UberFacts.

May 13, 2021

Confessions from People Who Fell for Their “Work Wives”

It’s hard to go to a job every day with nothing to look forward to.

People are resilient, and they find joy where they can.

Sometimes that joy is in the bond they form with others in the same situation.

Sometimes you spend so much time together you start to bicker like an old marry couple–and you know each other that well too.

It can make work nice, and comfortable. But it can also cause trouble if you’re not careful.

Here are 10 times people fell in love with their “work wife.”

1. Deep breaths. Infatuation fades.

It’s always fun when it’s new and exciting.

Image credit: Whisper

2. Is emotional cheating still cheating?

Maybe. Only you can decide.

Image credit: Whisper

3. Please do everyone a favor and re-evaluate your upcoming nuptials

Secrets fester, but as secrets go…
this one might not be a good one to keep.

Image credit: Whisper

4. Moving on is probably for the best

On the other hand, if you’re both single, now’s your chance.

Image credit: Whisper

5. Those pesky significant others

They’re always getting in the way.

Image credit: Whisper

6. Sometimes it’s good to remember there are different kinds of love

And if that doesn’t help, I recommend cold showers and lots of sick days.

Image credit: Whisper

7. An interesting conundrum

I want to see the ending of this movie…
And I want it to be a grand gesture confessing the secret love.
On both sides.

Image credit: Whisper

8. You know you’ve got it bad when you’re happy it’s Monday

Honestly, figure out a way to lock it down.
Because if she can make Mondays not terrible, you need her in your life forever.

Image credit: Whisper

9. When love IS requited, but it’s still not enough

I’d be tempted to quit my job and never have to see her again.

Image credit: Whisper

And a bonus one for the warriors.

10. Maybe he’s saying the exact same thing about his work wife

Some bonds are powerful like that.

Image credit: Whisper

15 years ago I had a friend with a deep and abiding love for her “work husband”–the first time I ever heard the term.

These confessions really hit all the feels. It can be exquisitely painful to fall for someone you can’t have. I want happy endings for all of them.

What do you think about “work spouses”? Tell us in the comments.

The post Confessions from People Who Fell for Their “Work Wives” appeared first on UberFacts.