Category: random

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Tweets That Are Totally Perfect For You

Have you seen any good tweets around lately? I’ve been lookin’ and lookin’ and for the life of me I just can’t seem to track any down.

I’ve tried everything – the park, under my couch, beneath the fears I keep locked away within my deepest self, and nothin’!

I guess maybe I could try scrolling down. See if there are any tweets below this text. But, yanno, I DOUBT it.

10. Deep fears

I experienced quicksand in real life for the first time recently and let me tell you, it is, at worst, trippy.

9. Silly goose

“We tried to warn ya man! Get out of our pavilion, man!”

8. Uber sneaky

“Oh crap I was supposed to take a picture, here ya go.”

7. Frog day afternoon

He blob. He frog. He nap inside he bog.

6. Let him speak!

The pressure is too much and I just sorta crumble.

5. Checkmate

Just give them some bread and let them be.

4. The big five

That’s an enormous accomplishment, maybe. Depends on the content of the mails.

3. New expectations

The bags within the bag always feels stupid until the moment you need it and you can’t find it.

2. Do the math

Hey, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

1. On the flip side

It’s all me, and it’s all a mess.

Oh wow, it turns out the Tweets were here all along! On this very page! And inside all of us! The internet truly is a magical place.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets That Are Totally Perfect For You appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes To Make You LOL

The memes we’ve gathered up today are mostly made for a female demographic, but I say bust the molds, screw the preconceptions, these are funny no matter who you are.

Unless who you are is someone who is incapable of finding memes funny, I guess, in which case you should really go see a doctor immediately.

Otherwise, you should sit back and enjoy these memes!

10. Get a leg up

These are clearly different shades, what are you, blind?

Via: Someecards

9. Too much chill

I could just live in a sock, that would be fine.

Via: Someecards

8. Sharing is caring

Look buddy, I didn’t get a phone so that people could call me.

Via: Someecards

7. Once again

This me after a little too much puff puff pass pass.

Via: Someecards

6. Into the woods

We’ve all got our dreams and aspirations.

Via: Someecards

5. Dead serious

We’re all just at the mercy of our brain chemicals, if ya think about it.

Via: Someecards

4. Special delivery

Think INSIDE the box.

Via: Someecards

3. Mighty neighborly

Sounds like things are getting pretty thorny over there.

Via: Someecards

2. Beanie babies

Oh Frank, what has become of you?

Via: Someecards

1. A great idea

You had me at “drink.”

Via: Someecards

Now THOSE are some quality memes. You’re not gonna find memes like that unless you look, like, generally anywhere on the internet.
Like, there are probably some standing right behind you this VERY MOMENT!

Speaking of which, what’s your favorite spot to find new memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets We Think Will Make You LOL

Look, the internet loves cats. We know this. It’s practically a law of nature. It’s practically in the Bible.

But just because we love them doesn’t mean we have to surrender everything to them. We have to put our human paws down every once in a while and say NO. THESE TWEETS ARE FOR HUMANS. NOT FOR KITTIES.

If it wasn’t apparent, my cat and I are in the fight right now and I’m not sharing any of the cool tweets I find with him. But I’ll share ’em with you:

10. Nobody’s hero

And then you hear those little creaky guitar sounds and it’s just all over for you.

9. Bag check

They best not have forgot my fries or we’re gonna have words.

8. The mantra

It’s solid policy like this that should have landed him the nomination.

7. That’s a wrap

It’s a tough jobs but somebody’s gotta do it.

6. Growing pains

Things get more confusing.

5. What a vibe

I’m at the KFC
I’m at the Sephora
I’m at the combination KFC / Sephora

4. Gotta bounce

Come to think of it, there are few “fun” activities that are more embarrassing.

3. Gran-berry

Click the image if you can’t see the punchline yet.

2. Oh, baby

Somebody on Twitter said he was about to drop the hottest album of 2002.

1. Sweet release

Don’t do it. Seriously, it’s gonna hurt.

My cat and I have now reconciled and I’ve lifted him to the screen to show him the tweets. He didn’t laugh though, so we’re fighting again.

Who are the best people on Twitter today?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets Designed to Make You Laugh

Hello, kids. It is I, a young person. I’m here to enjoy with you the things that we like, specifically Tweets.

No old or out of touch folks here, no sirree. Certainly nobody around who would unironically use the phrase “no sirree.” Just us youths. Youths as far as the eye can see.

Here are eleven Tweets that your dad won’t like.

11. It’s time to stop

Surely if I get it down to the second I can explain myself.

10. Blue sea blues

Everyone be quiet, I want to hear his music.

9. Holy crop

I would like “The shade, the skill” to be what goes on my headstone, please.

8. Missing persons

It’s the thought that counts.

7. The sh*t is bananas

“It’s one banana Michael, how much could it cost? Ten dollars?”

6. I scream

As someone who has had to run around in these costumes before, thank you for your service.

5. Game night in

Don’t truck with this guy.

4. Out of this world

You might wanna just kinda stay up there for a while.

3. Big accomplishments

How is he still literally smokin’ hot?

2. This and that

You gotta stay original and stay on brand.

1. Save it up

I hope it’s enough to make the sun stop setting at like 3:00 pm in Chicago because this is bogus.

Totally radical, am I correct my young peers? And now I am off to do the TikTok magnesium challenge or whatever it is we do.

Who are your favorite people on the Tweeters?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets So Good You Might Want to Kiss Them

Have you ever seen a Tweet so good you wish you could be friends with it? Or maybe even MORE than friends?

I mean, think about it. They could have made anything the icon for expressing your approval of a tweet, but they went with a romantic red heart.

So, do you like the tweet or do you LIKE like the tweet? See how each of these tickles your fancy.

11. Share a coke

Don’t forget that they gave out heroin as medicine.

10. A hand out

Um…do you mean like…handing someone money? That’s not new.

9. Edgy comedy

That is just flat out wrong.

8. We are not smiles times

Hey how about you drink an entire glass of chill and get back to me.

7. The final countdown

Ironically, you should probably see a therapist about this.

6. Bird brains

“Nobody even drops good food anymore, this is bogus.”

5. Somethin’ nice

See, you’re joking, but the reality is you could use Bezos’ money to buy a mansion and if nobody told him he’d literally never know.

4. Sunk in

Oh hey there toilet, it’s me, ya boy.

3. The artistry

Every once in a while I’ll still see these in the wild and just marvel at ’em.

2. Party time!

To be fair to her, it’s a ridiculous custom we’ve created.

1. Leaked footage

Your son is absolutely going places and I would like to follow.

I’m gonna take all those tweets out to make out point and just smooch ’em. You can’t stop me.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets For You to Read on the Toilet

Sorry if this is too personal a question but are you like, in the bathroom right now?

It’s cool if you are, I’m not here to judge. In fact, I do it all the time, and what I like to have alongside me for a nice long potty sit are some good tweets to read.

So in the spirit of all that, I hope you like these tweets?

And I hope your um…session goes well.

10. Oy, mate

I was gonna say I’m pretty sure that’s Adam Driver but to each their own.

9. Special effects

Well, if you can’t celebrate the little things…

8. An explosion of flavor

He appears to be surprised, but not in the least bit sorry.

7. Wall to wall

Cool cool cool cool, you’re gonna need to go ahead and move out immediately.

6. Inception

How come nobody in Star Wars has ever said those words together?

5. Screening process

Oh cool now I’m sad about everything, thanks.

4. Highway hypnosis

How are any of us even alive at this point?

3. Lawless times

I mean, Google exists so just better hope they don’t check anything.

2. A great personality

I had to learn how to cope with it all somehow.

1. Nun of your business

Dude I would have so many questions, that is a thoroughly trippy episode.

Don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re done. Also, other people need to use the room, you should probably get up now.

What’s your favorite thing to scroll through in the bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

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15 Memes We Think You’ll Love

You ready for some memes? I assume that’s why you clicked on this. If you were looking for like, deals on silverware or whatever, we can’t help you.

But memes? Oh yeah, we got those.

15. The best of friends

I feel like I’m being set up for a Fox & The Hound situation and I’m already crying.

Via: Someecards

14. Get in

All aboard the carb car. Toot toot.

Via: Someecards

13. The betrayal

“Well played, human. You win this round.”

Via: Someecards

12. Mourning person

Every side of the bed is the wrong side when you actually have to get up.

Via: Someecards

11. Poor thing

Yeah I dunno if you’ve heard of this sick new trend called food and shelter? I wanna get in on that.

Via: Someecards

10. Saving grace

It’s impulse buying but from literally anywhere, we’re doomed.

Via: Someecards

9. In the cards

Time to get down to serious business.

Via: Someecards

8. Real life

From a perfect ten to a weird nightmare.

Via: Someecards

7. Special delivery

Think outside the box all you want, my thoughts reside with what’s IN them.

Via: Someecards

6. Sleep on it

Now somebody bring me some food.

Via: Someecards

5. Knock knock

That’s why I got into this job. It’s my passion.

Via: Someecards

4. The best part of waking up

…is you all shutting uuuup!

Via: Someecards

3. It’s showtime!

Did somebody say my name three times?

Via: Someecards

2. It’s lit

Man, this is way too much work just for a melty mallow.

Via: Someecards

1. The one true response

Dreams can be pretty bad, yanno.

Via: Someecards

Mmm, so fresh. So filling. Nothing like a good meme.

What’s your favorite place to find ’em?

Tell us in the comments.

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Funny Memes to Make You Smile

Do you know that special feeling? When you see a meme across the room and you just gotta go over and say hi?

You get those butterflies in your stomach wondering if the meme will like you, or if your friends will like it, and what kind of a future you might have together?

It’s quite a thrill. The sacred and flirtatious dance of the internet.

Here are twelve special memes that just might catch your eye.

12. Fry day

I’m definitely gonna start on that tomorrow or something maybe.

Via: Someecards

11. To be blunt

Yeah, THAT’S the element of that magical fairytale that just doesn’t add up.

Via: Someecards

10. Stay on target

You don’t choose why you’re there. The store determines that for you.

Via: Someecards

9. Warning signs

Read ’em and weep.

Via: Someecards

8. Eyes on you

I’m not sure how, but the back of that guy’s head is a cop.

Via: Someecards

7. True tests

Oh great, we’re gonna reopen this old wound now?

Via: Someecards

6. Summer bummer

Psh, whatever I’m alive.

Via: Someecards

5. Mother clucker

Let’s go around the room and say a little bit about ourselves.

Via: Someecards

4. Many distractions

I’m so broke I can’t even pay attention.

Via: Someecards

3. Holy writ

Checkmate, atheists.

Via: Someecards

2. Tow the line

Sir, this is a permit neighborhood. I don’t make the rules.

Via: Someecards

1. Face the facts

No, it’s not that I hate you, it’s that I hate *me.*

Via: Someecards

I think you and some of these memes are gonna make beautiful music together.

What’s your favorite spot to find new memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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Lessons We Can All Learn from Memes

During my school days, I spent a lot of time looking at memes. I got scolded for it a lot. “You’re here to learn,” they’d say. “You can’t learn anything from memes.” But I disagreed then and I disagree now.

Here are fifteen lessons taken from randomly selected memes to prove my point.

15. Never give up

They HAD to have thought it was over.

Via: someecards

14. You are not alone

No matter what your thing is, it’s a bunch of other peoples’ thing too.

Via: someecards

13. You are what you eat

Look out for the warning signs early.

Via: someecards

12. Privacy is important

Your smashed up bumper is none of my concern.

Via: someecards

11. Get your eyes checked

Gotta keep that visual health up.

Via: someecards

10. Man is dog’s best friend

They say that couples start to look like each other over time.

Via: someecards

9. Looks can be deceiving

You are beauty and horror, together, at all times.

Via: someecards

8. You’re always too loud

Literally everyone can hear every word you’re saying.

Via: someecards

7. You gotta stay alert

Why does this sheep look like it wants to fight me?

Via: someecards

6. Multitasking is essential

Consuming calories while you burn them is a great way to feel pointlessly productive.

Via: someecards

5. Always come prepared

You never know when you’re in for a really hot time.

Via: someecards

4. People are the worst

Best to just avoid the lot of them.

Via: someecards

3. He’s been among us all along

Weird, cause in Infinity War, everybody else died for HIS sin.

Via: someecards

2. Your career path will bring many questions

Decisions, decisions.

Via: someecards

1. Keep it inside

You’re better off just screaming at your pillow.

Via: someecards

See? There are lessons all over the place. You just gotta look closely enough.

What’s the number one thing that memes have taught you?

Tell us in the comments.

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Fresh and Funny Tweets Just For You!

If you’re looking for some fresh, funny tweets, you’re in the right place.

Well done. You have excellent investigation skills. Let’s get down to it.

Here are fourteen funny tweets to satisfy your clicky-curiosity!

14. Oh, brother

I need clarifications on the ages of all the people in this story.

13. Research bowl earth

Surf’s up, soup’s up.

12. The gig economy

Learn how to monetize your baby TODAY!

11. Hard hitting reporting

I’d very much like to know what went wrong in the career of this person I’ve never heard of and don’t care about.

10. Judge not

I got into this job mostly for the little hammer.

9. The smolest boi

Are you just literally talking about those invisible dog leash gag gifts from the 70’s?

8. Living large

Just because I have nothing doesn’t mean I don’t have standards.

7. Roar right past

Weren’t we supposed to have the fun sinful part before paying for it?

6. The hard truth

They didn’t start that way, we just haven’t replaced them in 10 years.

5. Swear to God

If she was an Evangelical it was the greatest moment of her life, I promise.

4. Lunch goes on

I’m schooling at home and the food still all tastes like cardboard, somehow.

3. No chill

What do you have to do to get a little service around here?

2. Ya big baby

How the human race even made it this far is beyond me.

1. Artificial intelligence train-ing

Which of these squares DOES contain a stoplight? I thought I knew, but now…

Hope you enjoyed those, and we wish you the best in your future funny-tweet-finding endeavors. Good luck out there.

If you had to pick just three people who could keep using Twitter, who would they be?

Tell us in the comments.

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