Category: psychology

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12+ People Reveal the Biggest Lies They Tell Themselves

It’s important to be honest with ourselves, but sometimes you need to tell yourself a little white lie to help get you through the day.

Even though we know it’s not true, we do it anyway. Just like these AskReddit users.

1. Hopefully?

“That tomorrow will be better.”

2. Very common

“Adding more responsibility will fix a marriage/relationship. Things suck? Have a baby

Still sucks? Buy a house together

Still sucks? Time for another baby.

Sometimes entrenching your lives closer together doesn’t work. Sometimes you have to step away.”

3. Hmmmm, I don’t think so

“I’ll wake up early and finish it in the morning.”

4. Time to admit it

” “I’m not an alcoholic.”

Yeah, sure, everybody keeps vodka in the washing machine, Mom.”

5. I know a lot of these people

“I’m a good driver, it’s everyone else who is terrible.”

6. Overeating

“I’m only going to get the 6 chicken nuggets meal at McDonald’s and not the 10.”

7. A classic

“I don’t need to write this down, I’ll remember it.”

8. Interesting…

“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”

9. Myth

“You’re only as healthy as you feel.”

10. Not always

” “There will always be a second chance.”

Sometimes, there isn’t.”

11. Up all night

“I’ll go to sleep in 15 minutes.”

12. I believe her

“Kids have the worst lies. My niece made a bowl of ice cream for herself when she wasn’t allowed to. When confronted she said the cat made the bowl and ate it, not her.”

13. No!

“Codpieces are out of fashion.”

14. We all do this

“I’m going to afford it some day.”

15. Amen

“Being in a relationship will complete me and fix my life.”

No, it won’t. Get your life together, improve yourself.”

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The Biggest Red Flags to Look for in Friendships, According to Experts

Even though it can be painful, sometimes you have to cut friends out of your life. But how can you tell when is the right time to do so?

In this AskReddit thread, relationship experts share the biggest red flags to look out for in your friendships. So pay attention.

1. Nope

“When they only talk crap about their other friends to you. Calling you their “best friend” too quickly, when you feel not even close to the same.”

2. No show

“‘Let’s get together this weekend! I’ll give you a call Friday so we can make plans.’ Sunday, still no call or text…

Always telling you gossip about someone else, they will tell your gossip to someone else.

“It’s your turn to buy/pay/pick/etc.” nah b*tch, pay your half.”

3. Don’t miss it

“One of my friends upset me once, and I told him the comment he made about me offended me, and he said it was all banter and he didn’t see anything wrong with it. After that, he just kept escalating it, and I found out later from a mutual friend that he thought it was funny that I got offended and said, “if I’m in the shit list I might as well stay in it and make it worth it”. He’s tried to just brush it under a rug and be all buddy-buddy again, but I don’t really want to give the impression that his attitude was okay, so I’ve just stayed away – haven’t spoken to him since, can’t say I’ve missed the company.”

4. No room for growth

“I’ve had friends that are so worried about their image that even after years of friendship they refuse to be themselves or admit their flaws. Instead when we hang out it’s like there is this facade. Interactions are super shallow and there’s no room for personal growth.

My best friends are pretty blunt. I once asked one if she thought I had alcoholic tendencies, and she was like, “no sh*t, look at who we hang out it. We’re all alcoholics. We should work on that.” Then we did. Or one time a friend of mine walked three miles while working in the back country so she could get cell phone service, to make sure I went through with getting a counseling appointment.

Not the most pleasant stuff, but because of the honesty I’ve grown as an individual.”

5. A bunch of flags

“I have friends that have been hitting a bunch of red flags as of late:

Only reaches out when they want something or when boyfriend is unavailable. Otherwise you’re nobody. There’s weeks where I don’t see or hear them and then I get a “can I borrow your car to help my bf” message. Lol no.
Doesn’t offer congratulations for good news. Instead gives criticism and downplays your achievements.
Never reaching out but plays victim of Facebook about how lonely they are
Ignores/disregards/downplays your concerns (“You didn’t use a condom/plan b? Pls go get a checkup” “I don’t see why you’re making this such an issue”).”

6. Bad behavior

“My friend and I were talking outside after class when I realized I was on the verge of fainting. I quickly sat down and said this to her.

She said “okay” and continued talking.

I thought, “Uh, okay… Did she not hear me?” so I repeated myself and said I should go to the nearby Starbucks to get something to eat or drink (since, ya know, it’s 115° and I’m about to faint).

She said okay and that she had to go.

She left, I wobbled to Starbucks and then headed home still feeling a bit suspect.

Sadly, I didn’t see this as a red flag until over a year later… I had completely forgotten about it. I was going through some stuff at the time so I just thought, “Maybe not all friends care about that or think they need to help you?”

Well, if that’s true, that’s not the behavior I’m looking for in a friend.”

7. Complaints

“-Self Absorbed (ONLY talk about themselves and their lives instead of letting others talk, basically thinks the world revolves around them. OR, always change the conversation to be about them and their past experiences even when it’s not anywhere near what you just said.)

– Always have something to complain about when it comes to what you’re doing (IF what you’re doing isn’t wrong/bad)

– Complains about you not opening up to them and rarely sees your own friends, but they don’t make the effort in reaching out and always make plans without you.

– Expect you to pay for her (Not once or twice… but ALL the time)

– Texts you to go out to ‘hang out’ but actually just needed a ride to go to the mall to buy some stuff while we ‘hang out’.”

8. One-sided

“I have a friend who I still love because I don’t think she knows how bad she is. We often had long conversations talking about events in her life (her crushes, her worries, what made her mad) and I liked it since I don’t like talking about myself for a longer time and like to listen to people. I thought it was a mutual friendship and that she would listen to me too when I wanted to talk.

Nope. We once met for a drink when I was accepted at an art school and I wanted to talk about the assignments we had to do and she deflected the conversation to a relationship problem she had.

We were on vacation together and I wanted to talk about a philosophy in a show I liked since it meant much to me and that I wanted to get a tattoo from that show but she interrupted me to ask a question about the air conditioner, threw herself on the bed and looked at instagram posts.

I’ve honestly never had a friend that was so disinterested in me but still expected me to listen to her talk. If she didn’t have other redeeming qualities and was part of the friend group I’m in I would let her fall like a wet sack of potatoes.”

9. A whole laundry list

“Never on top of their things or schedule. For example, you go to hang out with them and meet up with them and they are consistently late or unorganized with something (Tom failing to pack his stuff up before moving in Parks and Rec comes to mind).
In the age of social media, someone always telling you they want to hang out but never inviting you. In my experience it can lead to being taken advantage of.
Very clingy friendships, something isn’t healthy in that relationship.
A friend that spends a lot of time putting others down, especially being really critical, and past the point of just a joke. In addition to being very critical/judgmental all the time, they are also very arrogant or braggy about themselves.
A friend that always has to be right, can’t admit they are wrong, must get in the last word, etc.
Specifically in the case of friends/roommates:

People not pulling their fair share of housework (cleaning, yard work, etc.).
Roommates making changes to the lease or not following the lease and not telling you.
Roommates that spend their rent money on a TV or something unnecessarily expensive and have to borrow.
Loud/inconsiderate/messy roommates that don’t even think about their actions possibly being annoying or frustrating to live with.
Roommates that don’t respect personal space, enter rooms without knocking, always wanting to hang out without giving any time to oneself.”

10. That ain’t cute

” “Jokes” that seem off color, especially in response to you expressing something positive or a win in life.

For example, I told a work friend that I lost a bit of weight since switching a medication and how I felt like my clothes fit better.. her response was never “Aw that’s great!” But instead she said “you’re the girl who thinks she’s a size 8 but is actually a 14”

Ok first off, excuse me WHAT?!

She laughed hysterically and said “I’m only joking!”

No. This sh-t ain’t cute. Also I have clothes ranging from size 8 to 14. They all fit. Wtf u doin, womens fashion??”

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5 Classic Riddles When You Need A Brain Break

If you’re having that after lunch slump and coffee, energy drinks, or a quick walk around your desk isn’t cutting it today, why not try a few riddles to get those brain juices flowing?

Here are 5 that are well-tested and loved.

#5. Kidnapped!

Photo Credit: Brightside

There are three men who have been kidnapped and locked in a room. The only way to escape is a window high up above them, and since they only need to get one man out in order to get help, they try standing on each other’s shoulders.

They’re still a few inches short of the window, though. What should they do?

 

Continue reading when you’re ready to check your answer!

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You’ll Need Your Detective’s Cap to Solve These 4 Riddles

Riddles are a great way to work out your brain while also having fun. Plus, there’s no greater feeling than when you finally solve one!

Check out these 4 mystery-based puzzles to see how well you’d do if the police recruiter came calling!

#4. A Treasure Key

Photo Credit: Pixabay

A man comes upon a treasure chest in a cave, guarded by a pirate. If the man chooses the key that will open the chest – gold, silver, or black – on the first try, he can keep the treasure. If he chooses wrong, he will be killed.

His only clue is this cipher: TGK HOE ELY DEN.

Which key should he choose?

Continue reading when you want to check your answer!

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These 12+ People Shared the Worst Advice They’ve Ever Been Given

Giving someone good advice is a great feeling. Both people involved get something positive out of it and end up better in the long run. Bad advice, however, can really ruin things for both people involved.

Just ask these 15 advisees:

#15. Just don’t.

“”Just dont think about it like that anymore.”

Oh, no shit? Just dont think bad thoughts? It would have NEVER occurred to me. /s”

#14. Useless.

“Just tell your brain to cheer up”: This piss useless piece of advice, given to me when I was suffering from depression…..”

#13. A copper penny.

“It’s okay to put a copper penny in a screw-in fuse box if you don’t have replacement fuses handy.”

That’s what my friend’s grandfather said, and it resulted in an electrical fire that almost destroyed his house.”

#12. No thanks, Mom.

“Just get pregnant! We’ll raise it together!” no thanks mom.”

#11. I don’t think that’s healthy.

“My old roommate once told me to never leave a man without having another one lined up ready to go. Now I’m no relationship expert, but I don’t think that’s healthy.”

#10. A lot of time!

“Use coconut oil for smooth skin. No, It broke me out so bad, It took me weeks to get it back to normal, And for someone with dry skin, that’s a lot of time!!!”

#9. I say to myself…

“When I was leaving the Army I had to see this career counselor who’s job it was to try and talk me out of it.

His “advice” consisting of telling me that I wouldn’t make it college and that without the security of the military I’d flounder and end up homeless.

Every single time something goes right in my life I say to myself “Fuck that guy.”

#8. WTF.

“‘If you start wearing more brand clothing, maybe people will start liking you’ Like wtf.”

#7. Dear old dad.

“Never wear condoms, it’s like jumping into a pool with socks on.”

-My Dad”

#6. Well, then.

“Hey dad, I went to the doctor today (after 30 years of you telling me nothing was wrong with me) and I got diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It looks like I’ve had it almost ALL MY LIFE.”

Dad’s advice, “Well then stop being anxious.”

#5. What I’m good at.

“Follow your dreams”, I’m horrible at what I dreamt of being. Now I’m studying what I’m good at and I’m having a waaay better time.”

#4. It can be exhausting.

“To follow what my mother says because she wants what’s “best” for me when in reality she’s just trying to re-live her life through me. Even if she means well it can be exhausting.”

#3. You got this.

“Just hit it at full speed bro! You got this!” All I got was broken ribs, collarbone and concussion.”

#2. “Help.”

“Just ignore them” – every teacher who’s help I sought out after being bullied by classmates.”

#1. He likes you.

“If a boy is mean and bullies you, it just means he likes you and thinks you’re cute”

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You Won’t Believe These 5 Bizarre Japanese Game Shows

Japanese culture places a high value on things like respect and kindness…unless you’re on one of their game shows!

The game shows on Japanese TV are bizarre, hilarious, and they always end up with people being humiliated (usually with a big smile on their faces). Hey, it’s the Japanese way, who are we to judge?

Take a look at these 5 wacky shows and enjoy the videos as well. Enjoy!

1. Candy or Not Candy

I really hope this show makes it to the U.S. Contestants bite into objects that might be made of candy (yay!) or might just be a shoe or some other everyday item. Fun!

2. Escape a Fart

Yes, you read the name of this show correctly. Contestants on this show fart, which viewers can see in yellow, and they try to spread it around the room as much as possible. Okay!

3. Dotch

If you win this game show, you get to enjoy a delicious meal prepared by a chef. If you lose, you have to watch the winners eat while you starve. Good times!

4. Dero! Dero!

In this show, people must answer questions and solve puzzles. The added bonus? They do it in scary situations, like a room that’s slowly filling up with water. Yikes.

5. Kiss My Ass

The premise for this show is actually brilliant and I’m hoping it makes its way across the Pacific to our shores. Girls put their butts into plastic-shaped holes so no one can see their faces. Guys then have to inspect the butts and guess which one belongs to their girlfriend. I bet this show gets pretty ugly on a regular basis.

I don’t know about you, but now I’m tired of American television…

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15 Terminally Ill Patients Share Things That Are Still on Their Bucket Lists

What would you do if you found out you were sick and had a year or less to live? Instead of trying to experience everything the world has to offer, many people make a “bucket list” – a list of the things they want to do before they die.

In this article, AskReddit users who are terminally ill share what’s still left on their bucket lists.

1. Climb a mountain

“I’ve probably got more than a year left in me, but with Stage IV colon cancer who knows. I’m actually in a chemo infusion right now. The only thing I honestly want is to spend every waking moment with my young children. The thought of them growing up without me, without knowing who I am, is probably the thing that weighs most heavy on my mind.

But as far as actionable list items, I need to climb a mountain again. I grew up near the Rockies and have backpacked and hiked all through the southern Rockies. I keep thinking about when I’m done with chemo seeing if I can’t bag a few of the simpler peaks nearish the Denver metro area. I’d like to start a group in Indianapolis with this or similar hikes/climbs in mind, but haven’t done so yet. I’ll look into starting this though.

Also, if anyone else in the Indy area needs anything, please DM me. I’m doing okay and would love to help someone in need out. Great thought OP!”

2. Make sure it’s taken care of

“I got sick and kept brushing it off. Ended up having congestive heart failure that I had ignored because I just thought I kept getting the crud getting passed around at work.

I was given a 50% chance to make it a year because my heart function was so low. Ive made it farther so that’s great. But when it was really iffy the only thing I wanted to was pay off my car and all the medical debt I was getting because I didn’t want my family to have to deal with it. I was super close this year. I only had $5k left on my car and paid my medical stuff off leaving just a personal loan I had to take out when I missed a ton of work and some lady hit me on the highway on my way home and totaled my car so I’ve had to start over there.

It’s been a rough couple of years but if anything I’ve made it a lot longer than expected. I know people who had way fewer and less severe issues than me that didn’t make it. Being completely honest there’s nothing crazy on my bucket list that ranks higher than making sure all my stuff is taken care of so my dad won’t have to if something happens. Having my dad in the hospital room finding out about all my heart issues and the fact that they weren’t expecting great results was probably one of the worst days of my life. I was only 26 and my dad and grandparents had a really hard time with it.”

3. Good one!

“My dad is currently 1 year into “6 months to 2 years” of a glioblastoma diagnosis. He has had a good life and didn’t have much on his bucket list but we are going to Key West this summer so he can enter an Ernest Hemingway look alike contest.”

4. The big picture

“I have stage 4 brain cancer. I have confidence I will beat it though. I had it 19 years ago when it was self contained, so I have a good idea what to expect. This time it is inoperable, because it is skull based, but chemo begins next week. If I don’t make it, I am content with that.

I found out who I was and what I wanted out of this life 19 years ago, and no, unless your work is really important, it will never define you. I can say that I truly lived and can die at any time without regrets and full of inner peace and happiness. I can’t tell you how important it is for all of us to take a step back, look at the big picture and find out what is really important to us. After that, life becomes very clear and the way to live it becomes even clearer.”

5. Fishing

“I wanted to tell you all my dad has liver cancer and it has metastasized. He still feels good but at his last Dr appointment they wanted to get him started on palliative care so it’s not looking good at all.

He wants to go fishing with his only grandson… but I only had him 3 weeks ago so he’s not going to be up for fishing this year.”

6. Frozen

“I’m 27. Systemic, metastasized, inoperable cancer of uncertain origin. Maybe a year left. Maybe a bit more depending on what treatments become available and work. Possibly less.

The only thing I really want (that I don’t have) is to be cryogenically frozen. But I don’t really expect any help or possibility of that because it’s prohibitively expensive, and selfish, and somewhat insane.

(I’d also like to be a movie star, or billionaire, or incredibly famous, or Jedi knight, if anyone could make any of those happen.)”

7. Mow the yard

“My neighbor who is 94 called me last week and said she is terminal and has about 4-8 weeks to live. Super nice lady I have always enjoyed talking to. She asked me to mow her front yard until she dies. I’m happy to help as long as it’s one less thing she has to worry about.”

8. Sad…

“My son, who is 21 has an inoperable glioma on his brain stem, he does not know how long he has. Due to his illnesses (he also has juvenile diabetes), he had to quit school a few years back and has no friends now. We live in mid Michigan, an hour outside of Grand rapids, he is a big-time gamer. But because his illnesses affect his socializing, and no driver’s license, he can’t get out with friends, and/or develop friendships. His schedule consists of at least weekly Dr visits, that’s it.

Idk what I’m actually asking, I just wish he had a person or two who would like to hang out, he’s funny, and acts more like a 16 yr old. 🙂 I just wish my son had a friend in real life. That’s all. Kind of a hard request. Love you guys.”

9. Quality time

“My fiancé was diagnosed with an inoperable Glioblastoma, Grade IV in February. We are looking at maybe two years, but are hopeful that it can be prolonged with clinical trials. He has thought long and hard about his bucket list and always comes back to just wanting to spend as much quality time with me and his twin sons as long as possible.”

10. Friends and family

“I have Stage Four Metastatic breast cancer. I was first diagnosed at 33 and a couple years later, I was told it was back and it had spread. It is now in my bones, lungs, liver and in my skull. They told me I had a year and a half left but that was two and a half years ago. I’m still truckin’!

I have had an amazing life. All those bucketlist items don’t mean too much to me now; I just want to spend time with friends and family. I have learned so many lessons from this ‘adventure’. Sometimes, I can’t believe how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many good people. Cancer gave me a new perspective and I sometimes cry with happiness that I was able to live my last months in gratitude. Even a post like this, a complete stranger trying to help out a ‘termie’ touches me. So thank you, OP.

You know what I would love for someone to do for me? I would really and truly love someone out there, even if it’s just one Redditor, to do something kind for someone in my name and send me a pic or tell me what you did. The thing that is most important in my life, the one thing that means most to me, is acceptance of others.

Racism, sexism, homophobia – it all breaks my heart. My entire adult life has been dedicated to advocating for immigrants – before I became ill, I worked as an English as a Second Language teacher and as an immigration counsellor and LOVED every moment of it. It upsets me so much to see someone who has fought tooth and nail to escape persecution, arrive in Canada (or any country) and face even more adversity and discrimination, which in this current political climate is a very real issue.

I would love for anyone reading this to do something for someone who could benefit from an act of kindness, which really, is any human being and tell me about it! It would make me feel like I can still contribute something positive to the world and I know it would make me cry those happy tears I mentioned earlier. Thank you!!!!”

11. Loved ones

“At one point during my cancer treatment a few years back I was given 2 weeks to live. My bucket list just consisted of seeing loved ones and telling them I loved them.

Then the drugs started working, and I beat it. So I could go back to ignoring their texts.”

12. Orlando

“My girlfriend is 20 with stage IV cancer. She’s wanted to move to the Orlando area of Florida for a long time so I am going to do it with her. But I’m worried about money. I’ve finished everything with school except for an internship (which is required) and student loans will come knocking soon. My father took out parent plus loans for me and while I’m not worried about not being able to pay the ones in my name, I know I definitely will be paying the ones he took out because I don’t want to burden him.

I need to get an internship in/near Orlando, FL for software engineering / IT to finally graduate and then get a job because my girlfriend loves to travel and I’d like to be able to afford anything she wants like trips to Italy and whatnot. I’m not worried about her not having long to live or anything; I’m very optimistic and so is she and her doctors. 🙂 But I still want to do whatever I can to make her happy.

I’m not asking for anything, just sharing a story.”

13. Heartbreaking

“I have inoperable grade IV lymphoma and i have been relatively lucky with everything so far. The one thing I would change would have been for my wife to want to stay for the end, that would have been good. It’s really hard to explain your situation to someone that doesn’t have cancer. I am 32.”

14. Not asking for much

“I have MDS which is a form of cancer affecting the bone marrow and blood cell production. If left untreated, in my case, it is fatal in less than 18 months. The bone marrow transplant procedure itself is has a 20% fatality rate, (!!!) but I am preparing for it this fall.

Due to missed work, because of the frequency of doctor’s appointments, I’m in danger of losing my job, am behind on every bill and rent is always a concern.

The point being that money is extremely tight and must be prioritized to the penny. I’m not asking for money or other help, but I would very much like to read these two books:

Walt Disney Imagineering: A Behind the Dreams Look At Making the Magic Real

Designing Disney: Imagineering and the Art of the Show

If anyone has a used copy of either one or both of them, they would care to pass on, that would be fantastic.

I will even return them when I’m finished, if you want.”

15. Sharks and baseball

“What I want more than anything in the world is to get better and live happily ever after with my husband, my kitten, and hopefully children someday. There is a chance I may get better if I find the right specialist and treatment. However, each day of pain I feel the life sucked out of me. I’m hoping to go cage diving with great whites. In October is my 10th anniversary so I’m hoping husband is up for that. I love sharks. I need to go to a few Red Sox baseball games too.”

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The Difference Between Dating Men and Women, According to Bisexuals

Just because you are heterosexual doesn’t mean you aren’t curious about the pluses, minuses, and just plain differences when it comes to dating men, women, or both.

Lucky for you, Reddit is always happy to provide answers. For educational purposes, obviously.

#15. On how I approach.

“There’s actually a noticeable difference on how I approach the relationship. When I’m with men I like being taken care of, but I like being more dominant in with women, I’ll do all the things I’d want a man to do for me.”

#14. Don’t fit the mold.

“I’m in a male-dominated field and have nerdy hobbies and am not traditionally feminine, so in some ways, men have been easier for me to get along with. But on the other hand, with another women, I’ve felt a more comforting sense of kinship and a sort of symmetry. But I have been hurt just as much by women as by men. I have dated both men and women who have insulted my body, compared me to other girls, dismissed my feelings, etc. And in some ways, I feel like men can be more clingy and emotional in relationships, just because many men have no emotional outlet other than their romantic partner. Women might be emotionally intimate with a wide circle of friends, but men generally are taught to bottle up their feelings and only open up to their partner, which is a lot of pressure for me.

I prefer dating people who are more similar to myself, who err on the side of over-communicating rather than under-communicating, who are emotionally available and conscious of people around them, who don’t try to dominate the room or go all “well, actually…”, who have a feminine side and don’t try to act macho, and who find me attractive for my butch side rather than just the parts of me that are more conventionally attractive. Because of this, I have mostly stuck to dating women. However, I’m now in a long-term relationship with a man who loves baking and taking care of me when I need it, uses the words “self-care,” understands my emotions better than I do myself sometimes, buys me feminist literature, looks like a beautiful ageless elf, and loves the fact that I could take him in a fight. Even if the traits you like are more common in one gender, there are plenty of people who don’t fit the mold of traditionally feminine or masculine behavior.”

#13. Talking through problems.

“This is sort of broad strokes, but oftentimes when a man would approach me with a problem, he’s looking for a solution. When a woman would, she wants her feelings validated. This also means when I talk about a problem of mine, my partner would respond in the way they would want, rather than what I’m necessarily seeking

Edit: there are lots of exceptions, and it’s not a binary thing. Sometimes I (a dude) will go to a partner hoping for validation of my feelings because I already know the solution to my problem, and it just helps to share my feelings – a burden shared is a burden halved! Sometimes, women I know do want help with finding a solution to a problem. I’ve just noticed that in general these trends often exist.”

#12. Really clingy.

“All of the guys I have dated were clingier than the women I have dated. To the point sometimes where I feel I’m not expected to have time to myself. Women seemed to be more understanding of personal time. But I suppose that may be more of an introvert vs extrovert thug.”

#11. Better listeners.

“personally, the only differences i’ve had with multiple same and different partners is just what they identify as, male or female. once you’ve dated a decent amount of people from both sexes you realize everyone is all the same. i’ve been with women that bottle up their emotions and hold onto grudges more often than men and i’ve dated men more emotional and clingy than me and other women too.

however, i will say that the one thing that always seems to follow the stereotype-is that women are better listeners and remember some of the most minute details from previous dates whereas men will check out quicker if a conversation doesn’t really pique their interest. it’s a lot harder making small talk with men; whereas with women its fairly easy for me to navigate the conversation and to either lead or listen. but, i have dated more lesbians than bisexual women and i think the fact that the lesbian dating pool feels much smaller than it is that women are much more eager to get into a relationship rather than a hook up and therefore listen more closely to what you have to say.

edit:added more details”

#10. No privacy.

“Women are softer and gentler in both a physical and emotional sense. Arguments tend to be more emotional and less angry with women, but now that we learned to be intentionally kinder to each other around our periods that doesn’t happen much at all. It’s a little weird on a date with a woman that you use the same bathroom. You don’t get that moment to yourself and there’s no privacy. Men seem to be more activity driven.

I’ll offer up the caveat that I’ve only had five partners total so there’s a lot of generalization.”

#9. The same anatomy.

“I keep seeing a reoccurring theme here. Girls think sex with girls is better, and guys think sex with guys is better. Possibly because you have the same anatomy and know what feels good?”

#8. Communication style.

“More individual difference than gender difference.

But if there is one it’s communication style. Men take a lot longer to open up. And I’d say most men are less thoughtful about many things (like keeping track of important things happening in your life and giving support through them) although my personal experience there with the only man I’ve seriously dated has been stellar.”

#7. Less emotionally open.

“Girls are softer, more gentle and like to chat/converse about everything. The guys I’ve dated have been waaay less emotionally open and would bottle their feelings and never talk about them.”

#6. On being an introvert.

“Most of the time neither gender realize that being introverted means I get energized from being alone and it doesn’t mean that I’m angry at the time. But usually guys are more understanding (or atleast don’t want to try to change it) while girls think it’s something they did.”

#5. A matter of minutes.

“Men can get ready in a matter of minutes.”

#4. Depending on circumstances.

“In arguments alone: Women are explosive, but more pleasant in the day-to-day. Men tend to backslide into a quiet agony that never gets resolved.

The women I’ve dated tend to be more open emotionally, ready and able to bring up any problem as it occurs – and similarly able to chill it for a time while we both get our emotions back to a state where we can talk to each other. Men, for their part, are content to just never bring up what bothers them. They’ll gladly endure, for thirty years, a problem that can be resolved in three days of open conversation.

Also, men will want a moderate level of sex all the time, while women want a fluctuating low-then-high level of sex depending on circumstances, hormones, emotions, and the positions of the moons of Jupiter. I tend to have crazy, mad, sparse sex with women, but constant decent sex with men.”

#3. The general public.

“How it’s received by the general public. When I’m out one on one with a man, it’s second nature to assume he is my significant other in situations such as having a dinner date or a weekend away at a hotel. That’s not the case when I’m with a woman. In particular, my current girlfriend looks somewhat similar to me. We’re both petite blondes. When we are out together, the first assumption is that we’re sisters or best friends. We have to make a point to explain that we’re together. It doesn’t bother me, as most people genuinely just don’t know and assume what’s second nature to them. It’s just an observation.”

#2. That shared understanding of experience.

“The biggest difference for me, as a guy, I’d that there is a different level of friendship with a guy than a girl. With my current bf, it’s like I’m hanging out with my best bro, at the same time as spending time with the person I love. We do everything together and I never really want time away.

My last ex, a girl, was great to spend time with, but there was a level of understanding and friendship that wasn’t there purely because she was a girl. She could never understand certain things that a guy just gets. That shared understanding of experience that guys have. I’m sure girls have the same thing with other girls.

That was longer than I expected, but that’s the biggest difference I have.”

#1. Easier to share.

“It’s easier to share a bathroom with two men. There’s more room in the counter, less time spent in there and so on.

Men tend to brood on things before arguing in an explosive way. Then it’s resolved. With women I found that little things were cause for bickering more often but grudges or holding things for the right time wasn’t as common.

Taking directly has been, for me personally, easier with men than women. The women I dated would read into things I was trying to say, even when I was trying to be direct.

For me, sex with men was always easier because there wasn’t such an entrenched societal view. Men are men and like sex in our society. Women who like sex are often shamed or insulted and as a result tend to be, again for me personally, more difficult to approach or converse with when it comes to sex.”

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15 Times People Took a Leap of Faith and It Totally Paid Off

In life, we won’t always know what to do. Sometimes, it’s up to us to make a decision, even if we aren’t 100% sure, and dive in head first.

These people on AskReddit shared their personal success stories about taking a leap of faith.

1. Boom!

“On a school trip to the local community college for their “Business Leadership” day, I signed up for every single test (they had prizes) and ended up winning a full-ride scholarship despite only having 1/2 a year of Accounting I under my belt.”

2. What’s up, doc?

“My biggest (not most recent) was when I got rejected from the nursing program at my local university. Wasn’t good enough for nursing, which is very competitive to get into, but they offered me a spot in the faculty of science. I was going to decline.

My husband encouraged me to use the opportunity to work towards my lifelong dream. So we scrounged up the deposit to secure my spot and despite having a couple of very young kids at home, I threw myself into full time studies and earned really good grades from the get-go.

This spring I graduated from medical school and am currently having an absolute blast in residency.

Wasn’t good enough for nursing, but I’m a pretty decent doctor so far. :)”

3. Gotta ask for it

“Worked up the guts to let my employer know I need more time off work to take care of a family member. I’m really non confrontational so I was really worried about it.

Currently watching baseball with my dad at home.”

4. Go for it!

“My biggest was when I saw this cute girl at a resort bar in the Florida Keys, I wedged myself in next to her to order a drink and started a conversation.

We’re married 26 years as of earlier this month.

Any more recent shots pale in comparison.”

5. Banana bread for the win

“There was this girl that I kind of fancied for a while from high school (A few years ago), and then one day just decided to talk to her and whatnot; got into a great rolling conversation that lasted days, and I did end up bragging about my Banana Bread. That lead to her wanting to come over to see if it was that good, and we just hit it off even better in person and she liked my Banana Bread and we’ve been dating for almost 9 months now.”

6. Anything is possible

“Two years ago, I applied to a super competitive master’s program. I didn’t have the grades or anything, but took a chance. Ended up getting in after being placed in the waitlist. I graduated and I’m now preparing for my boards… anything is possible.”

7. The brunette

“During my 2L year of law school I went to a lunch meeting in a classroom with probably 120 seats available and only 10 occupied. There was a really beautiful brunette sitting in the very back row alone. While it would have potentially seemed really weird to sit right next to her I decided to give it a shot in the off-chance she might end up interested in me. We started talking, introduced each other, and ended up grabbing lunch. Two years later I’m looking at engagement rings for that same beautiful brunette.”

8. Excellent!

“Called an old buddy of mine in LA about a job, unhappy with where I currently am. Ask and you shall receive, I suppose. I am moving 3,000 miles away for an excellent job with an excellent company.”

9. Friends

“Not recent, but my best case of taking a shot. When I was in 6th grade I was a chubby little need that wore Marvin the marcian shirts. My first day at my new school I saw this cute emo girl but was too scared to talk to her. One day in the computer class I had with her we got an assignment to make a PowerPoint on sh-t we like, pretty much telling everyone about you.

I was scared to talk to her so I just put some metal music my brother showed me in my PowerPoint. It worked though, she came over and started talking to me about the music. We’ve been best friends for 6 years now, even through all our moves we still text a lot, not as often as we used too, but that’s to be expected considering we have a lot more responsibilities now.”

10.

Back to school

“I guess I’m in the process of figuring out if the shot is worth it…

After a disheartening meeting with HR about my pay, I angrily went back up to my office and applied for school. I literally went to the local colleges website, pulled up its report on new grads, and picked something that looked promising. Applied because I realized I was never going to be properly financially rewarded working for a non profit in social services. The non profit I work for is generally good and while I was upset with the meeting, I realized no one else was going to pay me what I was worth.

The program I applied for was competitive and I didn’t think I’d get in and if I did get in I probably wouldn’t go… well sh-t, I got in. Even then I waffled on paying my deposit because I thought I’d never have the courage to quit my job and go back to school. Thought about it and figured I needed to take a shot. I’m not happy with my career and if I’m going to do this, now is the time.

Anyways I quit my underpaid job last week. I go back to school in the fall.”

11. Get that tat

“I really wanted a tattoo from a well-known tattoo artist in Copenhagen, but figured it would never happen in a million years. A friend told me to cut the sh-t. I reached out to the artist and it looks like I’ll be tattooed by him in 2020 (my year choice, he’s not booked that far yet).”

12. One call did it all

“Lady came into my store and tells me she’s the new bank manager in the area. We talk and I eventually reveal I also do real estate. She tells me she has three houses for sale for about 160k. I tell her I will drive by and look at them, they looked ok and I told her I could make an offer in six months or so when I had some money freed up. She comes in a week later with her phone in her hand saying she actually has a total of ten houses she’s trying to sell. She thinks they are all in terrible condition, I do flips and can tell they need about 10k in cosmetic work.

She just wants to get rid of them so she says she’s about to send an email to a guy to sell them all for 250k total. I tell her I will buy them cash by the end of the week for that amount. I call my dad as I know he’s on the market, he freaks out and gets some money together. He signs and purchases them by the end of the week, then surprises me by giving me a 10% stake as a finder’s fee.

Now I get about $350 a month for making one phone call.”

13. Instagram does it again

“Found an old crush from middle school on IG months ago. Always thought she was out of my league, I hit her with a smooth DM and now shes my gf =) ”

14. A lot happier

“I’ve loved drawing for pretty much all of my life, but was discouraged from pursuing it as a career due to my parents and other things. I went to college, became a programmer for a few years, and then realized that I wasn’t very happy. Eventually, I quit my job and I’m now a freelance artist. I figured, why not, I’m young and I’m allowed to make mistakes. I’d rather think “Oh well, at least I tried!” if I failed than to wonder what my life could’ve been. After I told people about it, I was really surprised at the amount of support I got from my friends and from people online!

It’s scary, but at least I have savings to stay afloat for a while and I’m a lot happier with my life now.”

15. Backpacker love

“Met the girl of my dreams while backpacking almost exactly 7 years ago. We were both broke and in college, not to mention from different companies. We spoke every night at the hostel and went for a midnight walk with each other almost every night. The day she’s leaving we joke about how the only way we’d manage to end up together would be marriage – “you’d only need to get me a ring pop” she says.

A lot of Facebook messages, Skype calls, postcards and even the odd fight later, I finally bought that ring pop.

We are submitting our visa paperwork in 6 weeks and I’m preparing to move across the Atlantic.”

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12+ Times People Were Stabbed in the Back by Their BFF

Sometimes, BFF doesn’t always mean forever. Sometimes, those friend can stab you in the back in a way that ensures the relationship will never last.

In this article, people on AskReddit reveal how their best friends stabbed them in the back…

1. Scandalous

“My best friend, my fiance. We were together six years, lived together most of it. Lived apart for the last because we went to school in cities two hours apart. We had an argument the day after thanksgiving so I made a surprise drive to visit her that night. Caught her red handed cheating on me. She swore up and down it was a misunderstanding, and since I loved her, I believed every word.

We spoke briefly for the next month because of finals, but afterwards she invited me over. I drove two hours to see her, and when I get there the cops show up minutes later and hand me a restraining order. I found out, months later why she did: she didn’t want me to find out she was already getting married to the guy she was cheating on me with. F***** me up for years.”

2. That’s kind of a lot…

“My ex cheated on me with my bass player, two very close friends, and most likely a few others.

On the flip side, this means that all of the people she cheated with also betrayed me.”

3. Sounds like a great guy

“So, several years ago my grandmother died. Driving home from her house (she lived very close to us) we ran into one of my best friends driving the other way. He had known her and had eaten Sunday dinner at her place on several occasions, so we stopped to let him know that she had passed and when/where the funeral would be.

While we were at her funeral, he and a couple of other guys broke into our apartment and stole everything. Then, a couple of nights later, they tried to break into her apartment too but a neighbor saw them and scared them off.

This guy had been near the top of my best friends list and we’d known each other for about 12 years (I was 18 at the time).”

4. Creeps

“A couple of years ago I got really really sick and moved back to my parents’ house for a couple months. My roommate asked me if some friends of ours (his very long-time friends) could stay in my room for a few days because they were temporarily homeless. They had like 4 kids and the kids had to stay somewhere else. It was Christmastime and these people were pretty poor and weren’t going to be able to afford presents for the kids.

My parents were actually going to give them a couple hundred bucks to help with presents. I came back to the house a week or two after they came and stayed only to discover they had stolen my MacBook, another laptop, a kindle, a set of gaming headphones, and my external hard drive (like 15 years worth of pictures stored on there). They also stole my roommate’s college ring. I’m still mad and it’s going on three years later. You don’t steal from friends.”

5. At least they’re happy…

“Back in late 2008 I had one of my groomsmen/best friends train my fiancée (he had a personal training studio business) because she wanted to tone up for our wedding. Shortly after that, her and I were constantly arguing and I was always doing something wrong. Come early 2009 I left on a weekend trip and when I got back she broke up with me. Two weeks later they were together. 6mo later they got married. Now like 8yrs later I think they’re expecting their 4th kid. I don’t talk to them anymore, but good for them, they seem happy. At least it wasn’t for some temporary fling.”

6. Ugggghhhhh

” “I met someone and she opened my eyes,” said my husband three weeks after our son was born. I’m still bleeding from that stab wound.”

7. Not cool

“I had a great friend that I knew since 4th grade. When we both got out of the military we decided to get an apartment and were room mates for about 8 months.

I was working 2 jobs, so I was not around a lot. One day our apartment manager caught me in the hallway and asked me if I had the rent. At the time I was giving my roommate the rent and he said he was paying it. Turns out he had not paid the previous 2 months and had pocketed my cash. I ended up paying for 4 months of rent for both of us, got evicted, and lost my security deposit.”

8. Weird

“My best friend in college just stopped talking to me one day. Wouldn’t respond to any texts or anything. It hurt, but I let it go. A year or so later I read in the paper that an old friend of ours had died, so I texted her to let her know. She responded with ‘you have the wrong number’. Maybe that was the truth, but I couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t and for some reason this hurt more than her breaking things off with me.

Years later she apologized out of the blue on Facebook which is nice I guess. But who the f*** does that?”

9. Crummy

“I was in a band with some friends in high school. I wrote all the songs we played. They kicked me out and said they didn’t like my music anymore and wanted to go another direction. I later found out they had booked a show and played my songs they said they hated. I felt pretty crummy after hearing that.”

10. No shows

“I invited all my high school “friends” to my birthday party and none of them showed up. Luckily I had my 2 close friends from outside of school show up and still have a good time. Went back to school that Monday and instead of sitting at their table I took a chance and sat with this girl I had a crush on, we dated throughout highschool and then some so it worked out.”

11. The roommate

“My roommate tried to convince my girlfriend that I was secretly a rapist and a pedophile, got his girlfriend and some others and held an “intervention” where she couldn’t leave until she said she was going to do something about me.

Luckily, my girlfriend decided to talk to me, realized it was all bullshit, and is still by my side today. My roommate dropped out of college and still hasn’t finished their degree.”

12. Catfishin’

“I just found out two of my closest friends have been cat-fishing me with pictures of an Israeli supermodel for the past couple weeks, so that was pretty cool of them.”

13. Sad face

“MY friend invited me out to a party in college freshman year. He went down to a friend’s room and I told him I’d meet him and as I walked up to the door I hear him saying, “yeah I invited my roommate but I really hope he doesn’t come.” “

14. He had a side piece

“My best friend and my husband.

Married 7 years. Refinanced dream home in October. Booked ‘bucket list’ vacation two weeks later. A week after THAT, he came home and told me we were getting a divorce. He then walked out the door and never looked back.

No notice. No, “honey, I am growing unhappy”.
We never fought and I thought we had an awesome life.

But that wasnt the “stabbed in the back” part. Look, people grow unhappy and get divorced. S*** happens, right?

Except that besides blindsiding and abandoning me and our child, he went around to all of our friends and family playing the victim of how he was unloved and unappreciated. He also neglected to mention in his tale of woe about his side piece.

Would have taken a bullet for the man. Didnt know he was holding the gun.”

15. $$$$$$$$

“My friend of nearly 25 years happily ended our friendship over a few thousand bucks he owed me.”

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