“When I was in college, there was this guy that hung around my friend group. No one actually knew which one of us brought him in, so maybe he just decided to crash, who knows. But he was creepy. He hit on ALL the girls in the group aggressively and whine DAILY about how we should just give him a chance to show us “how a lady should be treated”. We usually just rolled our eyes, although a few of the guys took him aside on separate occasions and told him to knock it off.

He also went way over the top in a lot of ways. He’d bring the girls flowers or memorize their favorite candy/soda/snacks and present them as a “token of his great affection” (yep, he called it that). He had a bad habit of insisting, like legit would not take no for an answer, on walking the women wherever we needed to go. Myself and my best friend at the time both told him his behavior was creepy.

There were three women in the “core” group, and five others who were close enough that they’d show up at LAN parties or whatever we were doing. He asked every single one of us out at least 50 times. Every single time we said no, he’d go off on this awful tirade about how women didn’t want nice guys, and how we should just be open to the possibility of him being “the love of our lives”. It did not matter how many times we told him we were not interested, not attracted, or IN RELATIONSHIPS.

Sophomore year, a new girl joined the group. For whatever reason, she liked our Nice Guy. A lot. Weird. But he wasn’t in to her at all. A few of us started using his own BS rhetoric against him when he began whining about her not leaving him alone. It was pretty gross.”

“Anyhow, nothing ever happened and I got a boyfriend until I was 23 at which time we broke up.

This is when Mr nice guy swooped in showing up at my house with flowers and gifts unannounced. I never gave him my address….he asked MY MOM. Then he would notice I posted I had a cold on Facebook and would show up with cold medicine and soup. Which would be nice if I had ANY interest in him but I didn’t. He would look where I checked into on FB and COINCIDENTALLY just be there. I felt bad being like “dude STOP” because my mom invited him to every family function and I didn’t want to make things weird.

It hit the pinnacle when he got a job where I worked just to be closer to me and he told everyone we were dating. Spoiler alert- we were definitely NOT. I flipped out on him and told him he was creepy and that after all these years he never took the hint after me never answering his calls/texts or taking him up on his relentless attempts to take me out to dinner. I quit my job and moved, blocked him on everything and had a firm conversation with my mom about keeping him away from me. She was upset and made excuses for him but ultimately obliged.

Years later I’m now married with a baby and he still relentlessly pursues me if he sees me in public.”

“I was friends with a coworker. We had hung out a few times socially after work and got along well but it never really occurred to me to wonder if he was interested in me. At that point in my life I did not get a lot of male attention, and honestly was pretty cringey myself, but that’s for a different thread.

Anyway we were walking side by side and I guess he went to put his arm around me. It surprised me (like that ‘someone is tapping you on the opposite shoulder’ trick) and I turned abruptly. He took it as incredibly rude, gave me an angry lecture about leading people on and how disgusting you make someone feel when you literally flinch from their touch, and called me a b*tch. Uh… sorry for my reflexes?

About a week later another friend came to me at work to let me know that guy was telling everyone I was a whore who was sleeping my way through the department. Nice!

The dumbest part was that I probably would have gone on a date with him if he’d asked–I just had no idea he was thinking along those lines. Bullet dodged!”

“I have a client who hits on me. He knows I am married because he mentions it. He also lashes out verbally if I say things he doesn’t like, which is truly scary. He is 55+, never moved out of his parent’s house, and spends his mom’s money for everything. She is in her 80’s and works two jobs to pay for his toys. One day, she came in with him to see if there was anything we could do to get his bills lower since she is struggling, and he started lashing out at her. “Shut the F*ck up. SHE ISN’T TALKING TO YOU!” and “YOU’RE STUPID!! SHUT UP!” I felt honestly worried for his mom.

Anyway, he would purposely let his insurance lapse so he would have an excuse to come in and sign a form so he could talk to me. He was very blatant about it as well. He always threw his mom under the bus for not “paying his bills” but then would talk about how he bought this or that and then would say “I know I should’ve paid that insurance, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to come say hi to you.”

One time, he said he couldn’t come in until Saturday to sign the form and asked if I could make arrangements to be there on the weekend instead. I told him we were closed. My coworker, and elderly man of 60+ said he would be here if I had the forms ready. The guy got angry and said he wanted me to be here on Saturday, alone, and that I should cancel my plans and be here no matter what. My mind got stuck on the “alone” part and I told him I couldn’t do it but that I would be back on Monday (with a full staff, just in case).

One day, he called to use his mom’s credit card to pay his bill. I didn’t answer the phone right away because I had another client with me. He keeps calling over and over and over again. Finally, after the client left, I picked up the phone and he started yelling at me. I asked him why he was so upset and he said “I COULDN’T GET YOU ON THE PHONE TO PAY MY BILL SO I USED THE MONEY TO BUY BASEBALL CARDS!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! NOW I CANNOT PAY MY INSURANCE! THIS! IS! YOUR! FAULT!!” then slammed the phone down on me.

Just this past month, his vehicle broke down, so he had to go buy another one. His mom went with him. He had insufficient credit, so his mom had to buy it under her name. I told them I could not add the vehicle to the policy since the vehicle was not titled to him. We would have to cancel the policy and she would need to put it on her insurance plan, which was with a different agency.

Finally! I was free!

Until he came in last week to sign the cancellation form, a document that is time-stamped. When he arrived and I didn’t have the form already printed out, he went off on me right there. ‘YOU SHOULD’VE HAD THIS FORM READY!” and claimed I was being incompetent. I told him it was a time-stamped form and that the document is not generated until the client is sitting in front of me and ready to cancel because it has to be signed that moment. He signed the form and stomped off. I felt relief that I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore until he came back in the door and said “Btw, let me know when you break it off with your husband! I might have to come back and get insurance from you again.”

I let me husband know everything, just in case.”

“He wanted to impress upon me what a good guy he was, and he was also too scared to ask me out like a normal person. He killed two birds with one stone by having his “split personality” tell me it really wanted to kill me, but Nice Guy was bravely holding it back because he liked me so much. Obviously I fell head over heels immediately. Not.”

“I worked with a gay guy for a 5 month period. I was only at the job temporarily and he was nice and wasn’t weird at first. I am sure he was interested because he kept commenting on my body, like if I would scratch my arm he would mention that I was ‘showing my arm and flexing.’

I made it known I wasn’t gay at all and he didn’t take my declines nicely.

I eventually moved back home as the temp job was over with. I had to make up a lie about getting rid of my phone and deleting my social media to focus on my life. Blocked him on social media but this was before you could just easily block someone’s number. He would text me randomly even though I told him I ‘got rid’ of my phone. Really gave me chills even having to remember something from years ago.”

” “Nice Guy” who worked down in HR. (Was completely incompetent too but that’s another story.)

Anyway, he’d come up with excuses to come see all the single women in the building. He’d stand too close to you. Sometimes he’d stand in your doorway and just stare for a while without saying anything. Always very creepy when you’d look up and there’d he’d be.

He liked to ask incredibly personal and invasive questions. He’d complain to anyone who listened about how women just didn’t want a “nice guy” like him. He faked being into several different religions trying to pick up a “good girl” because he didn’t want a smoker or drinker (despite being both those things himself) and wanted a virgin who wasn’t a “fatty” because he was a “man not a whale” (he was tubby himself.)

He also believed that if he met up with a group that had women in it, those women were dating him. And he’d get very mad if said women paid more attention to another man in the group than him, sometimes just get up and leave.

One Friday a group of workers were going out for drinks after work. He invited himself along, so one of the women in the group said, “See you there!” He decided this meant they were dating. Then when she didn’t pay attention to him much during the night and talked more to her new, male coworker – he just got mad and left without a word.

Nobody knew what happened to make him leave. Until the rumor mill started up because he told everyone that his female coworker had “cucked” him (his fancy word for cuckolding) that night.”

“In college, I played a lot of online video games. I posted on forums related to these games often. One guy, we’ll call him Bob, decided to show me how careless I’d been with my personal information. This lead to a phone call, on a number I never provided, during which he told me what dorm I lived in, at what campus, as well as information from public records regarding my family. On this call he told me how easy it would be for him to get there. This was quite frightening, and when I put him on blast publicly for it, he stated he was “trying to show me how careless I’d been” and prove a point so I would be more careful and how he was just trying to protect me.

Years later, I went to a group meet-up with a bunch of people from this forum with a guest I knew already, and he called me, on the same number (should’ve changed it) to ask me to wait for him outside, because he knew what I looked like. My guest and I met up with everyone and pretty quickly left.”

“A waiter at a restaurant left his number on my bill and asked me on a date. I was single and agreed because we had mutual friends who vouched for him and he seemed nice.
Night of the date, he shows up to my house absurdly overdressed (there was a vest involved) with a single rose that he presented to me. He took me to a basketball game, and the second I sat down the stranger to my left just says “Oh, you must be L! We’ve heard so much about you.” Turns out the two people sitting to my left were not strangers but in fact HIS MOTHER AND FATHER. We then go to dinner, he turns white as a ghost and excuses himself to the restroom for maybe 30 minutes. At this point I start to worry and get the check. He then comes back looking incredibly unwell and I say, clearly you’re ill, don’t worry about taking me home — I’ll grab a cab. He wasn’t having it and insisted on taking me home because he had another “surprise” planned for me. There’s a road that has famous views where I live, and he took the road to one of the lookout points, parked the car, and turned on Cheek to Cheek by Frank Sinatra. He got out and asked me to dance with him, and I said we should just look at the view. Then he proceeded to vomit absolutely everywhere. I shrieked and jumped back into the car to avoid him vomiting all over me. He takes me home and then calls me an hour later to tell me it was the best night of his life.

I tried to tell him I wasn’t interested but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He claimed I would never find anyone who treated women like queens the way he did, said I would never find anyone more chivalrous, and dropped off a letter at my home in the middle of the night that contained the most horrible things anyone has ever said to me. He also had a major affinity for three-piece suits and porkpie hats. Fun times.”

“A guy tried to take my phone and use it to text my then-boyfriend that we were over. When confronted, nice guy said my boyfriend didn’t treat me right, or else we wouldn’t be doing long distance this was during college, and he was 1.5 hours away by train.

When I obviously got mad, he called me a b*tch, a whore, and an idiot for not realizing what I had in front of me. Cue 3 days of emo/angsty facebook statuses with me tagged in them. I block him. He cries about why we aren’t friends anymore, I ask him to give me some time and we can try again. 1.5 days later, dick pic. When I didn’t respond to that, he sent me a long, handwritten letter about how perfect my body and how he would treat me like a princess, especially in bed.”

“I was seeing this girl. We met at work, and hit it off pretty quickly. Things were pretty normal. We’d go out, come back to my place, do our thing and then sometimes she’d stay or other times she’d head home. This went on for about a year.

So when things started to get weird was when we went out to a bar, both got shitfaced, and I said well your place is like a few miles down the road, let’s just crash there. She was adamant about getting a cab back to my place. Seemed a little weird but whatever, yay drunk sex. So this happened a few more times, she’d always have excuses, her place was a mess. She was painting. Etc. At this point it’s not adding up.

So one night I decide to surprise her at home, figuring she would be happy to split a pizza and a 6 pack. She’s not home. But her fiancée is. Turns out he’s a pretty cool guy, has suspected something is going on with her, says she’s been staying late at work a lot lately, including tonight. No she isn’t.

So we decide to split the pizza, watch the baseball game and wait for her. I will never forget the look of oh I’m fucked on her face when she strolled through the door and saw her fiancée and her boyfriend sitting on the couch eating pizza and drinking beer.

TLDR: If stupid things don’t add up, it’s usually for a good reason.”

“Not my partner, but my boss (married mother of two) was always taking long lunches, forgetting things, dressing particularly nicely for normal days, seeming a little tipsy after lunch. Once, a friend mentioned the neighborhood she’d moved into appeared to have a big swingers vibe, and my boss laughed out loud but went back to her work, saying nothing.

We’d make jokes she was having an affair but I don’t think anyone believed it. She was a proper southern lady, dedicated to her family, or so we thought.

After she passed away (RIP) they found a highly detailed sex log that specified huge numbers of guys and a liaison almost every day except the week she and her family took their annual vacation.

She used code for the guy, the hotel, and details like 2 O’s… or *boring * or likes oral “

“My dude had to go home and help with his ailing stepdad on the weekends. Initially, I was apprehensive because they had a rocky past, but was convinced because family is family, right? So it must be true.

He’d leave the city Fri afternoon, return Monday night – it was a three hour drive out to the middle of the nowhere and was almost a decade ago when cell service wasn’t that great, and I worked overnights at a hospital; it worked out.

This went on for a year and a half before I broke up with him. You see, things weren’t adding up, I wasn’t allowed to talk to his Mom or sis anymore, we were growing distant, he’d get very agitated with me. Also, I was never invited to go with him, I mean I could have asked for time off … Therefore, I hired a PI.

Turned out he’d hop a ferry to Canada and visit some other woman … I wound up contacting the other woman after I kicked him out. She and I exchanged some info, filling in a lot of the missing pieces for both of us; she was pissed she was bamboozled and broke up with him too.

Through some friends, I received news a year later that his stepfather died, but this guy never visited and had actually become estranged from the family, and they didn’t know where he even was. About a year later he contacted me and told me he had lung cancer and wanted to be my friend again. This wasn’t reciprocated, partially because his lung cancer info never added up (I’m in the medical field, you can’t fool me man), but mostly because I didn’t trust him, so why bother? I told him to pound sand. This escalated his illness AND said he had now suffered a concussion due to a bicycle accident. Keep in mind this was all via text and a few phone calls, we did not live around one another. When I still would not spend time with him (he wanted to watch Netflix over Skype or play video games), he said a former lover proposed marriage and he was leaving the country to be with/marry her. It’s been over a year since I’ve heard from him, but fully expect something in a few months because he does this cyclical pattern when he contacts me.

Okay guy.”

“He pretended to have combat-induced PTSD, that he used as an excuse for his shitty behavior. Turned out he was never in combat, but he talked about it every day, all the time to everyone.

It’s usually just when the lies don’t add up, dates and names change and there are obvious things that you choose to ignore (he told me he talked to his dad about it all the time, but when I went to meet his parents he said that they don’t know anything about it so don’t bring it up).”

“I am actually descended from a secret family, my granddad cheated on his original family (i think he had 4 / 5 kids at the time) with my grandma (who was 20 – 30 years younger than him)

My grandma told my mum a little before she died, having successfully kept a secret for decades.

Its pretty weird to think I have a whole group of relatives in Ireland I know nothing about. And ireland isn’t exactly a big country.”

“I found the hidden heroin habit when I found him not breathing in the bathroom and the paramedics that came asked me if he’s taken anything… I didn’t know heroin enemas existed.

Paramedics unable to revive him and every year I think about what could have been…. :/ “

“I was with a guy for about 6 months who would get really awkward when this one friend of his would call. He’d clench up when I’d ask about her and we’d always end up in a fight. Obviously, he turned it around and said I was insecure and jealous. He broke up with me pretty abruptly and didn’t give me much of a reason. Turns out I was the mistress and she was the girlfriend. They’re getting married this year.”

“I just found out 12 days ago that a guy I have been seeing for the past 14 months is getting married soon. So, yes, ouch! Hang in there.”

“I was with my ex-bf for almost 2 years when I found out he was MARRIED. His ex-wife (got divorced when she found out he was cheating on her + blamed her for not getting pregnant to justify his cheating) She ended up having serious health issues, i found out about his marriage when she contacted me, i apologized to her and i felt like shit for the next 6 months about it.

As for that asshole, i’ve confronted him and he tried to act like he’s the victim, i’ve never felt sorry for someone like that my whole life, totally pathetic. Few months back i saw that the ex-wife got married and has a beautiful baby now. That asshole still lives with his mom and adds random girls on Facebook trying to get laid.”

“I dated a guy in University who told me pretty much right away that he had terminal cancer and had about a year to live. I really liked him so I decided that I would stay with him and support him through it. He never wanted to talk about it and when I’d try to check in with him he’d go quiet and change the subject. He told me that I was the only person who knew about it and that I wasn’t allowed to talk about it with anyone else. Well we ended up dating for three years, and I never once witnessed a doctor’s appointment or any type of symptom (and I was still the only person who apparently “knew”).

He became incredibly emotionally manipulative and abusive, tried to isolate me from friends and family, and eventually became physically abusive. Of course, whenever I would try to leave he’d use his “condition” to play on my emotions (and naivete) to get me to stay. He’d also physically block the door, pin me down, and do whatever he could to prevent me from physically leaving.

I’ll never forget the day I told him that he was such a good person with a good heart (something to do with how he was handling an issue with his alcoholic mother), and he mumbled “No, I’m really not”. I thought then that he was being humble, but looking back on it, it was probably guilt.

I’ve built a happy and successful life for myself now and have a wonderfully loving and supportive partner, but it still makes me full body cringe to think of how I spent so much time with what I consider to be pure evil.”