Category: psychology

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15 Red Flags When It Comes to Finding a Therapist, According to Patients

Admitting that you need help takes a lot of courage, which is why you want to make sure you get the help you deserve from someone who is qualified to give it. A bad therapist might be worse than not talking to anyone at all. And when you found out you’ve been seeing a bad one, it sucks.

It sucks so bad, AskReddit put out a call for red flags to look for according to both experienced patients and other therapists. Hopefully this’ll help keep you away from any real quacks.

#15. Bad advice.

“When your 3 month pregnant fiance is killed suddenly and the therapist says “You shouldn’t cry.”

Lol. Im tough as nails… but yeah bro. Bad advice.”

#14. You’re gonna see someone else.

“When they get angry that you’re gonna see someone else… my old coworker said that to her therapist and that lady flipped out on her…”

#13. No other comments or helpful dialogue.

“Asking questions like “What can I help you with?” and getting short or frustrated with you when you have trouble producing a tangible issue with an elegant and easily forecasted solution.​

Asking “How does that make you feel?”, or something similar over and over, with no other comments or helpful dialogue.”

#12. Gee, thanks lady.

“from my old therapist: “But emotional abuse isn’t really abuse, right?”

Gee, thanks lady.”

#11. When you pay in advance.

“He offers complementary Prozac when you pay in advance for 3 sessions or more.”

#10. Therapy isn’t one size fits all.

“This is a less glaring red flag, but a therapist should always tell you that it’s okay if their style of therapy doesn’t work for you. They should be open about the fact that it’s okay to stop and see someone else. They should also tell you that they’d like you to tell them if they make you uncomfortable/mad etc.

I feel like so many people would have better experiences with therapy if therapists were open that they aren’t perfect, all-knowing, brain-fixing psychics. Therapy isn’t one size fits all.”

#9. Turns out he got paid.

“They get kickbacks for prescriptions.

I had a therapist keep me on an SSRI that made my moodswings worse to the point I tried to kill myself. Every time I expressed concern, he told me to “just keep giving it a chance,” and got angry when I quit. Turns out, he got paid for every patient he got on Celexa.

Edit: Because everyone points it out, yes he was a psychiatrist. I just misused the word therapist.”

#8. Confidentiality.

“They break confidentiality by talking to your parents, spouse, etc about your sessions.”

#7. She forgot key details.

“Mine was okay at first but later forgot key details in what was going on with me, began to judge some lifestyle choices in ways that were pretty much just “oh it’s only a phase” and kept repeating to me that I have a hulk inside me and need to just keep it under control as his only “technique.” Still in the market for a new one but there aren’t many where I live

Edit since there were a few questions being asked:

I was absolutely a very angry person before. I ruined things with my ex because of how easily I would become upset/angry. But I’m a teacher and I’m genuinely struggling to become a better person both for my sake and the sake of my students. I genuinely tried to implement what this therapist was discussing with me, and I know these are just words so maybe it’s difficult to believe but when I had to answer the questions “who is x person, and who is y person? And fell me where you work again?” over and over again, on top of the therapist forgetting that my parents are divorced and so on, it was difficult. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a long time, but I’m surprised this information was not in his notes.

And for the most part, all that he offered was, again, breathing techniques to calm down and stop the hulk within. First off, I wasn’t so angry to the point I would punch things or anything like that. I would get more upset than angry. I struggled a lot wondering if I was a good person and being treated like I was this hulk just made me feel worse. To some extent I can see why that might sound like something I don’t want to hear. But the reality is that I needed more than just anger management and I didn’t want that to be the main focus and reminder of the damage I had done to my life.

Nowadays I’ve learned to just not stop moving. I wake up early to do a few chores, go to work and spend nearly ten hours of my day doing that (that includes commuting). I come home and I’ll exercise, cook, read, game, watch tv, write…anything to just keep moving. If I stop to think too much I get severely depressed so i think i know now to just not stop. But frankly it’s tiring. That’s why I’m going to do my best to come to terms with everything and that’s why I’m searching for a therapist who can guide me and show me the skills needed to do so.

I am considering online therapy but I would prefer in person because I think that works best for me. I have already looked into a therapist about two hours away from me and plan on making monthly trips if that works out. Thank you all for the support!”

#6. Professionalism.

“Lack of punctuality or professionalism. Showing up late, last minute cancellations, deciding to take a non emergency call during a session etc. These show that they are not committed to helping you and don’t value your time.”

#5. The first guy I saw.

“The first guy I saw was cringing with a fake smile on the whole time I talked. Like what I said was beyond crazy and not things every 15 year old says. It was off putting and I’ve really not gone back.”

#4. Facial expressions.

“Facial expressions of disgust or condescension while their mouth is professing compassion or understanding.”

#3. Texting.

“She’s texting while you’re talking.”

#2. Yes, that’s why I’m here.

“I had a therapist once who simply said “that must be so hard” to basically everything I said. Yes, it is, that’s why I’m here, do you have any way to make it better?”

#1. Go find you a good one.

“Starts the session by telling you that he was once formally disciplined for having an inappropriate relationship with a patient, and then ends it by inviting you to meet up to do some 1-on-1 yoga with him. Later that week, he shows up in your LinkedIn feed for having viewed your profile.

PS – If you have a bad experience with a therapist (like this one that I had, described above), don’t write off therapy. There are bad counselors just like there are bad dentists and bad teachers and bad hair stylists. Walk away from that one and go find you a good one.”

Be happy and healthy, my friends.

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Here’s Why So Many People Are Afraid of Clowns

Clowns are meant to make people smile and laugh – everything from their appearance to their act contributes to that exact goal – so why do so many people find them absolutely horrifying? Chances are you probably know someone who’s afraid of clowns (or are afraid of them yourself) and the slew of clown-themed scary movies and Halloween costumes goes to show that this phenomenon isn’t going away any time soon.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

But believe it or not, It is not to blame, nor are the terrifying spate of creepy clown sightings back in 2016 – those people are just playing off a common fear. It turns out that the fear could be emanating from collective human memory.

The history of the clown, according to Yale doctoral candidate Danielle Bainbridge, is related to the stereotype of the unsettling, outsider funny man, which dates back to the court jester. These men typically weren’t evil child murderers toting red balloons, but they didn’t fall within society’s normal hierarchy, either, and would have been considered untrustworthy outsiders among the “normal” folk.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

After that came the harlequins of the Middle Ages who performed in the Italian street theatre called “Commedia Dell’Arte”. Harlequin was actually the name of one of many stock characters. These performers weren’t intentionally scary, but their acts definitely weren’t for kids – their jokes were explicit and morally bankrupt, and their strange costumes were meant to make audiences slightly uncomfortable.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

From the 19th century into modernity, the white-faced, kid-friendly circus clowns have prevailed, but society as a whole hasn’t been able to shake the creepier associations from our past. If anything, films like It, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, and Poltergeist just prove that our ancestors may have passed along their fears and distrust through the centuries.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

I don’t know if that’s possible, but it certainly seems as if the past is whispering to a large number of modern day people that there’s good reason to head the other way when a grown person wearing big, floppy shoes and a red wig starts heading their way.

And history has a way of, you know. Repeating.

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“Find Your Passion” Is Terrible Life Advice and Here’s Why

These days, teenagers are told to “find their passion,” so they’ll never have to ‘work’ a day in their lives. After all, if you love what you’re doing, blah, blah, blah…we’ve heard it all before.

And it is total crap, you guys. I’m lucky enough to make a living at something I’m passionate about – writing. But (newsflash) that in no way means that it’s not work, that there isn’t stress that goes along with doing it, or that there are days when I’d rather not.

In the old days, people were encouraged to go into a line of work that could sustain them for a lifetime and offer a good pension. If you were lucky, it would also give you some savings to pass on to your kids.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Not to mention, what if someone’s passion won’t pay the bills? Or won’t help them get rid of their student loans? Do we ask people to choose between what they love and what pays? If so, will they feel like failures when they actually have to choose?

A recent study backs up the negative side of encouraging teenagers and young people to follow their passion, as well – it’s a collaboration between Yale and the National University of Singapore and looks at the differences between people who have a “fixed mindset” and a “growth mindset.”

A fixed mindset is “the almost mystical belief that passions are revealed to us magically,” while a growth mindset relies on the idea that interests change and develop over time.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

And guess what? People with the growth mindset turn out to be generally happier, successful, and more fulfilled (according to the study). One of the lead authors explains further to Quartz:

“Parents, teachers, and employers might get the most out of people if they suggest that interests are developed, not simply found. Telling people to find their passion could suggest that it’s within you just waiting to be revealed. Telling people to follow their passion suggests that the passion will do the lion’s share of the work for you.”

The important thing is to frame the conversation in a way that makes it clear that passions can and should be developed – and that they don’t necessarily just appear in your life one day. If you don’t work at it, it most likely won’t become your passion, and what we’re passionate about at 17, or 25, or even 30 might not be the thing that gets us going when we’re 40.

Study author Paul O’Keefe is careful to point out that a growth mindset doesn’t promote a lack of focus, either.

“One can have a growth theory and still be highly focused. A growth mindset makes people more open to new and different interests and sustains those interests when pursuing them becomes difficult.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Also, you know, it’s okay to choose a career that interests you and will make you money while pursuing a passion on the side until the day comes (or not) when you find that it’s able to sustain you. I have many, many author friends who truly enjoy their day job and write their stories at night – even people who have multiple publishing contracts under their belt.

There’s no shame in contributing to your family’s financial security and finding time for your (current) passion on the side – and having these conversations early(ish) can benefit young people struggling to solidify a vision for their future.

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Growing up in a House Filled with Books Is Good for You, Study Confirms

Books are the best, huh? I’ve got piles upon piles around my house. And I’ve actually read a decent bit of them! But there are still plenty I haven’t read yet, which makes me feel a little guilty.

Believe it or not, there’s actually a word for my affliction…

Photo Credit: did you know?

The good news, however, is my so-called “affliction” may mean I’m smarter than you. A study by researchers led by Joanna Sikora of Australian National University showed that people who had around 80 books in their home while growing up tend to have average literacy scores, which is defined as “the ability to read effectively to participate in society and achieve personal goals,” and people with less than 80 books tend to have below-average literacy.

According to the study, the literacy rate continues to rise as the number of books increases, but after 350 books, the rate remains steady. So, based on this study, I should be a genius (sadly, that isn’t the case).

Photo Credit: iStock

The subjects were between the ages of 25 and 65, and came from 31 countries around the world. Before they were tested, they were asked to estimate how many books they had in their home when they were 16 years old. The researchers found that “growing up with home libraries boosts adult skills in these areas beyond the benefits accrued from parental education, or [one’s] own educational or occupational attainment.”

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Chris Benson

The study also showed that there is a relationship between having books at home and having positive skill sets such as reading comprehension, math skills, and the ability to use digital technology to communicate.

So get back to reading (and buying) those books!

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13+ People Share the Moment That Forced Them to Grow Up Too Fast

Childhood is hard to fully appreciate until it’s over. There’s often a moment buried in our memory that we can look back on as the time we no longer felt like a child. Retrospectively, it can be easy to see how that watershed moment changed everything – which is exactly what these 15 people realized.

#15. A lot for a teenager to take in.

“Being diagnosed as a diabetic at 14. First I almost die from Diabetic Ketoacidosis (which i can assure you is extremely unpleasant) and then spend 5 days in the hospital getting a crash course on everything i need to do to keep myself alive from then on.

Counting carbs, checking blood sugar, how to determine the correct amount of insulin to give myself, how to treat loss, how to treat highs, what to do if I’m spilling ketones.

That’s a lot for a teenager to take in and process.”

#14. Both my parents

“When both my parents died in a car crash when I was 20.”

#13. A sophomore in college

“My bipolar started to fully manifest when I was a sophomore in college. I ended up making a lot of mistakes, ruining a lot of friendships, and dropping out of school. It’s taken 5 years for me to pick up the pieces of my fractured life. I’m stable, I have a well paying job, but man do I feel older than I should.”

#12. He wasn’t going to change

“When I found out that I may have leukemia. I took a hard look at my relationship with my fiance. He was not supportive of me at all. That’s what finally made me realize that he wasn’t going to change into the person I needed him to be. He had been prioritizing himself the whole time we were together and I finally had enough.”

#11. I had to step in big time

“Realizing in college how little money my parents really had and that I had to step in big time.. that matured me up really quick. Went from barely working and partying to handling 20-30 hour work weeks bartending and school.”

#10. He took everything

“In 2015 my dad kicked me out of my own house so he could live there with his new bitchy wife.

I had to file a report, get a lawyer and had him force removed from my house. Before that he emptied the place, took everything but my old bed. So there I was with no job a bunch of furniture to buy, bills to pay and a lawyer to finish paying. That moment was def a turn point in my life.”

#9. My dad’s third wedding

“The day of my dad’s third wedding.

I won’t go into too many details, but my dad married a chick he met on the internet and uprooted our entire lives, we immigrated to the states and everything. During the time they were dating, she seemed nice enough and I was pretty stoked to get a mom. Literally the second the ring was on her finger she started treating me poorly. She blamed me (an 11 year old kid) for leaving her purse at the venue when she’d never even mentioned I should look after it. It was still there when we got back but the damage was done. I knew she wasn’t gonna be my mommy but I still wanted her and my dad to be happy. Spoilers: they werent. It was a long 8 years of her treating me like crap and me trying to deal with it.

It worked out okay I suppose. I’m 26 now and while I always try to be kind to people, I don’t take their bullshit.”

#8. My mom’s death

“My mom’s death when I was 17.”

#7. Felt like I was taking care of him

“My father lost his job to due to his alcoholism, and then about a month later, my mother tried to take her own life by taking as many pills as possible. I was 14 at the time, and for a while felt like I was taking care of them, instead of me. I put my head down and told myself that I was going to do as best as I could in school, do whatever I could at home, and then get as far away as possible. The first two years were particularly difficult, but thankfully I had a set of friends that kept me happy and sane. I learned to silo my life which is still something I’m working on, but it made me realize a lot about adults and that parents don’t always have it together as they seem.”

#6. Makes you appreciate the little things

“Getting a gun held to my head whilst delivering pizzas. Makes you appreciate the little things.”

#5. She told me she was pregnant

“When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant.  I was in college and I went from planning where I was going to party the next weekend to graduating and getting a job in an instance.”

#4. I watched him bury our dog

“I realized my dad wasn’t unbreakable when I watched him bury our dog.

That day I watched the strongest man I had ever known collapse on his knees sobbing. And I realized that life is a lot tougher than I thought.

EDIT: I’m glad some of you have been able to share your stories. I hope it has been cathartic. Here’s to all the good doggos in our lives.”

#3. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for my kids

“Getting my fiance at the time pregnant with my son when we were 18. I was a total fuck up in school and after school, I was a drug addict, I didnt really have any drive. Then once I knew I had another human to take care of I figured my shit out fast. Took me a while to shake the drug habit fully but I’ve been fully clean now for almost a year. I’d be dead if it wasnt for my kids (I also had a daughter not long after I had my son).”

#2. I grew up that night

“I had a crush on an older guy since 6th grade. He invites me over to his place sophomore year. I go, we watch some movies and start making out. I’m a pretty straight forward type of gal and I am pretty confident. We start making out and all is fine, but he asks me to take my shirt off, and I didn’t want to. Slowly he keeps making me feel shitty about it, and he keeps pushing things further while I am adamant about not going any further. I keep saying no, but not leaving. I’m not enjoying this as it feels like I’m fighting to keep my innocence the entire time. He starts physically overpowering me and gets his hand in my pants and starts fingering me aggressively. I’ve had more than enough now and I’m not letting myself get overpowered more than I already have. I tell him that if he doesn’t quit right now, I will be telling his mother about this. She is a fantastic lady who I have known for a few years now. He stops but gets all defensive like he didn’t do anything wrong. I leave.

I grew up that night. I can’t quite describe just how I changed, but something inside me snapped, I was far more adult like with everything after that. I think my inner mother came out of her shell before she gave birth to any kids.”

#1. My first semester of college

“Miserable grades my first semester of college.

That never happened in high school, and I had to change habits quickly.”

Something to think about the next time you’re looking at your own precious little ones.

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The Story Behind Bloody Mary and Why We Think We See Stuff in Mirrors

Bloody Mary is more than a character. She’s a Halloween (or anytime) tradition amongst young people. You dare each other and egg your friends on until one of you is brave enough to hit the lights, stand in front of a mirror and chant “Bloody Mary” 13 times…

Photo Credit: iStock

Then you wait for the inevitable: for the spirit of the Bloody Mary to appear out of nowhere, kill you and your friends, and ruin your sleepover!

Okay, the murder part doesn’t actually happen, but you know you thought it might when you were a kid (as did I). The ritual is so impactful that different versions of the legend exist across the globe — sometimes centered around a woman named Mary Worth, sometimes involving the devil himself appearing.

It turns out that seeing things in the mirror really isn’t that strange after all. The longer you stare in the mirror, the more likely you are to see stuff that isn’t really there. This phenomenon can be blamed, in part, on what’s known as the Troxler effect. If you stare at the same object for a long time, your brain gets used to the image and the unchanging stimuli. What happens next is pretty incredible: your neurons cancel the information out, and whatever you’re staring at can start to appear blurry or distorted. Until you blink and look around, you’ll continue to see these unusual visions.

Photo Credit: Deviant Art,Skyberry-13

What’s more, if you stare into your own eyes in a mirror long enough, your face will begin to change shape.

Here’s a test for you. Stare at the plus sign in the center of the image below for 8 seconds.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Your brain probably tricked you and distorted your vision in a number of ways, possibly by making the colors in the image fade to gray. Live Science points out that this is actually a coping mechanism. “If you couldn’t ignore the steady hum of your computer monitor, the constant smell of your own body odor or the nose jutting out in front of your face, you’d never be able to focus on the important things — like whether your boss is standing right behind you,” the article explains.

The “strange face in the mirror” phenomenon, like Bloody Mary, is part of this as well. A 2010 experiment conducted by an Italian psychologist had people stare into a mirror for 10 minutes. 66% of the subjects reported seeing “huge deformations” of their face, and 48 % saw “fantastical and monstrous beings.”

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Taylor Smith

So maybe this is why so many people claim to have seen Bloody Mary in the mirror, and why the legend continues to frighten kids to this day. However, while origin of Bloody Mary is debated, but some believe it dates back to a real person — Queen Mary I from the 16th century, who was called Bloody Mary by her protestant enemies.

Others think the legend may be based on a different real person named Mary because varying legends give different versions of her name (Mary Worth, Mary Worthington, Mary Lou). Either way, one thing is for sure — kids will continue to play this spooky game forever, so let’s just hope Bloody Mary doesn’t get angry enough to come bursting through the mirror.

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Kids Are Less Violent in Countries Where Spanking Is Outlawed, Studies Show

When it comes to raising children, the use of corporal punishment is a hot topic of debate. People on the “pro” side often argue that the way they were raised didn’t harm them, so why change? While those on the other worry about the psychological impact childhood violence could have on the next generation…even if it takes years to manifest.

Even though this isn’t the first time science is weighing in on the topic, a new study shows a clear correlation between the use of corporal punishment and incidences of violence in youth and beyond.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

In fact, youth living in countries with bans on corporal punishment were found to be 31% less violent than those living in countries that let parents make discipline decisions for themselves.

The study’s data came from 88 countries and covered over 400,000 adolescents, and the results of the “largest cross-national analysis of youth violence” were published in the journal BMJ. The results were clear, if a bit unsurprising for those against the practice of spanking.

“Societies that have these bans in place appear to be safer places for kids to grow up in,” reported lead study author Frank Elgar.

30 of the 88 covered countries had bans on spanking and other forms of corporal punishment, while 38 featured partial bans, and 20 had no bans in place whatsoever. For the purposes of the study, corporal punishment was defined as an adult’s use of physical force to “correct or control” a child’s behavior.

Globally, close to 300 million children between the ages of 2 and 4 receive some type of physical discipline from their caregivers on a regular basis, but researchers hope studies like this one can help educate parents about the future impacts of their discipline choices.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

At the end of this extensive and groundbreaking study, Elgar and his team found the following statistics to be true:

“Boys in countries with a full ban showed 69% the rate of fighting found in countries with no ban. In girls, the gap was even larger, with 42% the rate of fighting found in countries with no ban.”

The lowest rates of violence, if you’re curious, were found in Costa Rica, Portugal, Finland, Honduras, Spain, New Zealand, and Sweden, in that order.

Also of note: the wealth of a country didn’t end up factoring into the study’s results, even though researchers initially expected that it might.

“Bans and levels of youth violence had no relationship to the wealth of a country,” said Elgar. “Some very low-income countries happen to be quite peaceful, while some richer nations, such as the US, UK, and Canada, didn’t fare as well.”

There has been at least one other study to link spanking to future violence; that one looked at over 160,000 kids and published its results in the Journal of Family Psychology. It found that the more children are physically disciplined, the more likely it is they will defy their parents, experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, and deal with mental health problems as adults.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

It’s important to remember this, if nothing else: children look to their parents for cues on what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable. If we show them that hitting is a way to handle anger, disappointment, or a loss of control, then that’s exactly how they will behave toward others.

As anyone with kids knows, they’re always watching, and kids will mimic us at the least opportune moment imaginable. Every. Single. Time.

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6 Tricky Riddles for You to Solve

Chances are you’ll be able to solve 1 or 2 of the following riddles if you really put your mind to it — but can you solve them all?  Don’t worry, the 6 riddles below are of varying levels of difficulty (we want to keep your confidence up).

#6. A word problem.

Continue reading when you’re ready to check your answer!

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12+ People Reveal Their Personal “Strange Addictions”

If you’ve never seen the television show My Strange Addiction, you know that there is no limit to how bizarre people’s addictions can get. From eating their cat’s hair to coffee enemas, we’re a little grossed out, but also kind of impressed.

What I’m trying to say is brace yourself before reading through the 15 confessions below.

#15. Chewing

“Chewing the inside of my mouth.”

#14. Only in albums

“All of my music is in albums. Only like one song? Well shit, have to download that album. Song only released as a single? Put it in a folder and pretend it’s an album.

I have Pendulums Hold your Colour 2 times, once in the 2005 and once in the 2007 version because they changed 2 songs but my brain is not satisfied if I only have those 2 changed songs.”

#13. Daydreaming

“I will listen to music for hours on end while walking around a room, imagining various stories and scenarios.”

#12. Stress relieving

“It’s extremely satisfying to pluck my pubes. It’s like, stress relieving. Strange, but stress relieving/addictive.”

#11. Like I can’t breathe without it

“Nose spray. Been on it since I was a kid and feel like I can’t breathe without it. Menthol is my favorite.”

#10. Sounds so good

“When I am out walking in wooded areas I spend a lot of time trying to find pine cones to stand on.

I do it because when you find a suitably dry one it feels amazing and sounds so good.

Do it. Tends to work best if they are stood upright.”

#9. Addicted to picking

“This is so gross but I am addicted to picking. Pimples, dry skin, scabs, anything pick-able I will dig at it till I bleed. No I am not on drugs. It’s so bad that I am contemplating hypnosis.

EDIT – wow didn’t realise I wasn’t the only obsessive compulsive picker, nor did I realise it was an actual condition. Not sure how to feel about the fact that this is a diagnosed disorder though 😐 Thanks for the tips and advice kind strangers!”

#8. Avoiding phone calls

“I’m addicted to avoiding phone calls.”

#7. Picking and pulling

“Picking the skin on the side of my nails and toe nails. Pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows.”

#6. Specifically from old books

“Eating paper (although I don’t do it as much now). Not any paper though but specifically paper from old books – you know, this yellowish/brownish thin paper that smells really nice. I’ve been eating it since probably 12 and till about 27 or so. I’d just get some old book and keep tearing sheets of paper from then and chew them for some time and then gradually break them into pieces and swallow. Can’t even count how many books I’ve eaten this way, but at some point I had a drawer stuffed with book covers with no paper inside.
Now, you’re probably thinking “There’s no way it’s good for you”, which makes sense, but somehow I never had any health problems because of it, so I didn’t really have any motivation to stop, plus I was craving paper so much. Later I found out that it’s likely I have Pica disorder, which makes people crave uneatable things, but didn’t know where I could get help for it, so I continued.
Anyway, now I moved to another country and didn’t bring any old books with me, so I don’t really eat paper as much anymore (except for occasional pieces of toilet paper or tissues). But whenever I go back to the place where I grew up (which has plenty of old books), I sometimes still can’t resist and end up eating paper again.”

#5. It’s so satisfying

“I crack my ankles incessantly, sort of like how one might crack their knuckles. Idk what it is but it’s so… satisfying.

Edit: a word.”

#4. 100%

“Making sure my nose is 100% booger free.”

#3. 7 so far

“Donating sperm to lesbians.

I started off donating to some friends then they began recommending me to other lesbians through a fb group.

It’s so rewarding and I’ve fathered 7 so far.”

#2. Alongside Steve

“This one guy named Steve on YouTube. He’s like 60-something years old and I’ve been watching his videos for over 10 years now. All he does is post videos of him talking about mundane things in a monotone voice, and he doesn’t really do anything aside from hang around his house and play video games, from what I can tell. But I love his videos. They’re really weird and the fact that he’s been doing it regularly since like 2005 just makes it that much better. I feel like I’ve grown into adulthood alongside Steve. Although Steve has literally been doing the same things for the last 10+ years, whereas I’ve done a few different things, maybe.”

#1. Other brands are just not as good

“Band-aids!! I love band-aids. I have an entire drawer under my bathroom sink full of different styles/types of band-aids. But only Band-Aid brand… other brands are just not as good.”

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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Viral Twitter Thread Shows The Importance of Being Able to Leave a Situation

Life is full of uncomfortable situations. Some we are required to endure, like awkward college orientation days, but for the most part we stay because we feel like we are supposed to – even when this isn’t exactly true.

Erynn Brook, a feminist writer, wrote a Twitter thread about how her mother taught her to set boundaries.

Photo Credit: Twitter

She starts by discussing the instructions her mother gave her about her first sleepover.

Photo Credit: Twitter

She asked the girl’s mom to call her mom. She persisted, even when the girl’s mom was reluctant.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The girls at the sleepover were confused. Brook’s mom continued to support her in setting boundaries.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Brook acknowledges that this advice runs counter to many of the messages we receive as women.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Brook also acknowledges that in some situations, there is no way out. In other situations, though, we could leave, but don’t realize we have permission.

Photo Credit: Twitter

As Brook continued to struggle with giving herself permission to leave, her mom asked her a key question: “What do you need so you can leave?”

Photo Credit: Twitter

Brook clarified a bit later that although this message may resonate with women, it’s an important lesson to teach all children, regardless of gender identity.

Photo Credit: Twitter

We all have the right to set boundaries, and we all have the right to leave.

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