Category: Pop Culture

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Tweets That Remind Us We Have No Idea What Day It Is Right Now

The great Grouch Marx once said, “Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.” If you don’t get it at first go back and read it a few more times. It’s a delightfully confusing quote about time that keeps rolling through my head in an era when nobody, including me, seems to have any idea where we are chronologically, ever.

At least the people on Twitter are being funny about it. Here’s 14 examples of tweets about how we’re all sort of lost in the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff.

14. The 8 Commandments

Yeah I think I remember these from The Bible.

13. Days’d and confused

If my phone breaks I think I’ll actually lose my soul.

12. A Planner Darkly

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

11. Thank God it’s whatever

We can start drinking even earlier! Or later? I don’t know how it works now.

10. The days are years

We need a whole new set of idioms.

9. Time is relative

It’s always now.

8. Public service announcement

Quit trying to take Rebecca Black’s job, she has this ONE THING.

7. It slows

I don’t know what “take your time” even means anymore.

6. Eternal matrimony

For as long as you both shall live.

5. Hot take

Whoa there buddy, I’m on Twitter to have a good time.

4. I hate Mondays

I wonder how Garfield feels about this latest revelation.

3. Digital fatigue

Even our robot butlers are bored.

2. Show-offs

Nobody likes a bragger.

1. Oh no…

But the other tweet said…ah, nevermind.

Maybe it’s time to invest in the sundial market. That seems about as sensible as anything else right now!

Oh, also, what day is it?

Tell us in the comments. We genuinely don’t know.

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Funny Tweets About How Time Has No Meaning Anymore

Do you have the time? I mean, you probably do have some extra time right now. But like, do you know what time it is? Does anybody? If Twitter is any indication, the answer to that question is a firm “No.”

When your usual routine gets thrown off, it’s amazing how quickly your entire outlook goes into disarray. Lucky for us, some of the responses are really funny. Like these!

15. Dish, girl

It’s kinda like how geological time is measured in rock layers.

14. Ok, Google

This is all just a part of their plot to make us fully rely on them.

13. Underwhen

There’s a joke here about being “brief” that, to my eternal shame, I can’t seem to find.

12. Handy rhymes

Then another 90 days of fear,
For each month of the entire year

11. Time keeps on slippin’

Slippin’, slippin’, into the futuuuuure.

10. TGIW

Every day is Friday when nobody cares.

9. Homewreckers

I think maybe it’s Thruzeday?

8. It never ends

It’s a band, I think?

7. It all makes sense

Ushering in a new era.

6. Back to the future

A simpler time when time was literally simpler.

5. Nailed it

I mean, you have a clock and a calendar on your phone but ok.

4. A hard day’s night

I should be sleepin’ like a log.

3. Superimposition

It’s every day, every day.

2. Classic

Tell ’em, Peters.

1. April showers bring indifference

At least I’m the only one who has to deal with me.

Hope you enjoyed that list! But how long have you been looking at it? A couple of minutes? A week? WHAT YEAR IS IT?!

Any tips for keeping to a good schedule?

Drop ’em in the comments.

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Tweets That Capture the Vibe of Our Wardrobe Choices Right Now

Even though the fashion industry is worth over a trillion dollars per year, if we all had our way, we’d probably just wear sweat pants and snuggies all the time. A lot of us have certainly learned that about ourselves, and many have taken to Twitter to express this inconvenient truth in hilarious ways.

Here are 13 examples of people who will never look at style choices the same way again.

13. All about me

Not caring what other people think is a lieeeeee.

12. Where to where?

Yanno maybe we never needed all those outfits.

11. Don’t be a scab

We’re all on strike from life, get in line.

10. Ready? FIGHT!

This is some subtle video game brilliance.

9. Lemons and lemonade

This joke has layers and it’s wonderful.

8. My big day

Why should you only get to wear it once, anyway?

7. Freedom

Burn that crap.

6. Denim deluxe

Well, look at Mr. Fancy Pants.

5. Keep it simple

And don’t even get me started on tying shoes.

4. My natural state

They mustn’t know this is the real me.

3. Changing standards

Look I don’t want to brag but I managed to clean an entire dish today.

2. Half asleep

The key to success is knowing you could totally go do stuff if you wanted to.

1. Don’t overpack

Again, the only conclusion I can come to here is that most of us just have way too many clothes.

If you happen to actually be wearing pants while reading this, I hope you enjoy your ivory towers, you elitist.

What’s your wardrobe been like lately?

Let us know in the comments.

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Funny About Everybody’s 2020 Wardrobe

Here’s a movie pitch: it’s like Toy Story except with clothes. A plucky wardrobe full of colorful characters have to team up to solve a mystery when, suddenly, nearly all of them stop being worn. I’d imagine that’s what a lot of our closets feel like, based on what people are saying on Twitter right now.

But while I’m looking for a producer who will finance this masterpiece, enjoy some tweets about what high fashion is like in 2020.

14. Lace-less

See, this is the inciting incident of the movie I was pitching.

13. Upper-crust

Oh, well, aren’t you just a fancy pants?

12. I am enough

Get out of here with that garbage.

11. RIP

Back in my day we paid good money for jeans like that.

10. Swim-where?

Weird motivational flex but OK.

9. Bye bye bags

The revolution has begun.

8. Camera angles matter

Bae caught me slippin’.

7. Winning

Don’t fly too close to the sun.

6. Beautiful lies

Come on Victoria’s Secret, who are you kidding?

5. Hat-itude

Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone…

4. Don’t sweat it

Oh, look at Mr. “I have multiple pairs of sweat pants” over here.

3. Choking hazard

Butt weight, there’s more!

2. Creatures of habit

It helps me pretend things are normal.

1. At least you tried

The important thing is that you stop doing that.

So we’re all a little sloppy. Big deal. There are far worse fates. We could go back to JNCO jeans.

We don’t mean this in a creepy way, but like, what are you wearing?

Share and compare in the comments.

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Tweets From People Who Have Been Inside For Way Too Long

Are you feeling a little stir-crazy? You’re not alone. I mean…you’re not alone in spirit, anyway. Twitter is currently full to the brim of people bouncing off the walls, and the upside of all that madness is that we get to peek in and giggle along.

Enjoy these ten tweets from those toughing it out in Twitter territory.

10. We’re all on a break

Well no one told you life was gonna be this way *clap clap clap clap clap*…

9. Keep your distance

If everybody could just kinda stay away from me for the rest of my life that would be great.

8. Hibernation chub

If you’re getting ripped right now, honestly, stop it.

7. Siesta fiesta

Time doesn’t mean a hell of a lot anymore, really.

6. Financial planning

And just like that I was a bonafide adult.

5. Wilson!

I still cry every time.

4. Extroverts unite

Comin’ out of my cage and I’ve been doin’ just fine.

3. Sleep is for the week

Who’s gonna stop me? Nobody, that’s who.

2. Beer battles

Looks like we’ve got an entirely new “c word.”

1. Mom’s spaghetti

You only get one shot…to eat as much as you want with absolutely no judgement.

Life ain’t easy, but at least we’ve got the warm light of these tweets to bask in. Go forth and vent your frustration to the world; if you’re clever enough about it, people might actually enjoy it quite a bit. You could get internet famous just by being discontent!

Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter right now?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Jimmy Fallon Asked People to Share the Funniest Things They’ve Overheard While Stuck at Home

Just because most of us aren’t going out regularly and are stuck at home with the same people day in and day out, that doesn’t mean there’s not funny stuff going on.

There’s your family, your roommates, your delivery people, Zoom meetings, and a bunch of other interesting ways you can eavesdrop on people – and these 16 people have overheard some pretty funny stuff.

So, Jimmy Fallon recently asked the following question…

And boy did he get some answers…

16. This is just so wholesome.

Trust kids to even make Zoom cute.

15. Good, I’ve missed B.C.

Since it’s B.C.E. now, you know (history nerd here).

14. You have to have a certain number of signatures to get out.

And you can’t ask your family, because they definitely want to get rid of you.

13. Nobody wants that to happen.

It’s one of the only perks of this entire thing.

12. The answer to this question is obviously always yes.

It matters not how old you are.

11. I hope this is just the sort of relationship they have.

Otherwise I feel like it’s a cry for help.

10. Now there’s an idea.

I like the outside the box thinking.

9. She’s not wrong.

But she’s still gonna have a rude awakening when this is all over some day.

8. Okay fine it’s funny.

And sad and funny idk either.

7. This just makes me sad all the way around.

But I’m still keeping my dog inside for her own good, too.

6. I have no idea what this means.

You gotta keep people on their toes, I guess.

5. It’s the little things that get you going these days.

Like being able to sing this tweet, for instance.

4. We all wish we hadn’t overheard that.

There are only 50 states still, right?

3. Oh, no what a shame.

And I bet she just couldn’t get back on, either.

2. Yeah, I love my family but I could think of a few.

Idris Elba. Derek Jeter. Zac Efron. Kristen Bell…

1. All the way down.

Because I don’t think we’ve found the bottom yet.

These really just tickled my funny bone – I hope they got yours, too.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve overheard recently? Share it with us in the comments!

The post Jimmy Fallon Asked People to Share the Funniest Things They’ve Overheard While Stuck at Home appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes That Explain What’s Going on During These Trying Times

Raise your hand if your year is going exactly how you’d planned. If any of you have your hands raised right now, I have a long and very important series of questions, such as “How?” and “What are you hiding?”

I don’t think any of us are living the dream right now. But we are living the meme, by which I mean that there are, at least, some good memes to be had from this situation.

15. Like a good neighbor

She sounds hideous.

14. Follow your dreams

Anybody with a sweet dirt bike can’t be doing that bad.

13. Face your fears

But what if my nose itches?

12. Progression

I’m doing great, why do you ask?

11. Job search

“What would you say is your biggest weakness?”
“WHAT?”

10. In the money

Wow thanks I’m set for life.

9. One leg at a time

Yeah this is gonna be an uphill battle.

8. Food therapy

The hunger knows no bounds.

7. Get with the times

Gotta keep up with current trends.

6. In hiding

It puts the Gatorade in the basket.

5. Flying low

Well well well, how the turntables have…

4. Midnight snack

Whatever, nobody’s looking.

3. Happy hours

It’s always 5:00 now.

2. I not OK

(I promise.)

1. Proceed with caution

I’ve always been more of an indoor human anyway.

Hope these made you feel a little better about your day and your situation. Hang in there, we got this!

How are you holdin’ up?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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A Woman on Tinder Is Using Only ‘Twilight’ Quotes and the Results Are Pretty Funny

You might have heard of a little thing called Twilight – the books, the movies, or both. It’s been in the news again, as the author, Stephenie Meyer, is planning to release a long-awaited 5th book, Midnight Sun, in August 2020.

Which is to say, millions of people all over the world love Twilight and everything connected to it – but most people don’t go so far as to quote it exclusively on their Tinder profiles.

And I mean…based on these responses, you don’t really do it if you want to pique people’s interest, either. At least, not based on these 8 examples.

8. He bugged right the heck out.

Guy has no time to suffer fools.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

7. This guy definitely thinks a lot of himself.

I have to wonder whether or not its warranted.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

6. I’m guessing she just didn’t have time that day.

I’m surprised she has time any day.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

5. This dude just really wants some Thai food.

And also, oddly, to know where she lives.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

4. But the clear winner is this guy, who quoted Twilight right back.

I mean, I don’t know if he’s a WINNER but he’s a winner.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

3. This guy is a pretty good sport.

She should go out with this one.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

2.

1. He’s willing to play along.

Also he listens to J Timberlake, so, win.

Image Credit: Megi Meskhi

I guess this is what happens when you get on Tinder but don’t really care what comes of it?

Which I mean. Is probably the best way to do Tinder, right?

What do you think? Would you do something like this on Tinder? Let us know in the comments!

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10 Times People Should Have Known Who They Were Talking To

There’s a great second-hand embarrassment/thrill that comes from watching someone speak very confidently with no idea how hard they’re about to be shut down because they don’t know who they’re talking to. The internet is full of these, though largely in screenshot form, since the embarrassing messages are usually deleted. But a few live on.

Enjoy these 10 examples of people who really should have just stopped talking.

10. “You have never read an issue”

Dana Schwartz is a writer, whose work includes multiple Marvel comics.

9. “How the hell would you know?!”

Stephen King…wrote The Stand.

8. “If I even play Playstation”

Shayna Moon is a video game producer, known for her work on God of War.

7. “What’s your source.”

Dr. Theresa Tam is…well, read to the bottom.

6. “Rethink my analysis”

Emma Ritch is a feminist writer and activist.

5. “I wonder what he’s up to these days”

Tony Hawk is, of course, the world’s most famous skateboarder.

4. “Told me not to bother them.”

C.B. Cebulski is Editor-in-Chief for Marvel Comics.

3. “Band wagon”

Benson Mayowa is an NFL defensive end, who at the time of this tweet was playing for the Dallas Cowboys.

2. “Not left wing”

Eric Umansky is a deputy managing editor of ProPublica.

1. “You’re very good at swimming you know”

Lizzie Simmonds is a British Olympic swimmer.

Remember, the next time you feel like shooting off at somebody on Twitter, maybe make sure you know who you’re talking to. You don’t want to end up on a list like this.

What was the biggest time you put your foot in your mouth talking to someone?

Let us know in the comments.

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Funny Times People Didn’t Realize Who They Were Talking To

Some people have their favorite story about the time they ran into a celebrity. But probably not many of them proudly tell the story of the time they ran their mouth off without realizing who they were talking to and got burned.

When it happens IRL, we have to rely on reports from those who experienced the interaction. When it happens online, the embarrassing message in question usually ends up getting deleted. But sometimes, out of either negligence or a simple acceptance of their fate, they’ll leave their infamy intact for all to see.

Enjoy this gallery of 10 times people had no idea who they were talking to.

12. “You a good skater?”

Tony Hawk is literally the most famous skate boarder in history.

11. “The title hasn’t been announced yet”

Dude apparently didn’t realize he was talking to the official Star Wars Twitter account.

10. “An old white male’s mansplanation.”

Ed Solomon wrote Men in Black (and a bunch of other movies).

9. “You’re pretty good”

Meredith Strömberg is a stand up comedian.

This is apparently the joke in question, btw:

8. “Get bent, Cleese.”

John Cleese is…well, everything he mentions here.

7. “hey cool shirt!”

Mark Hoppus is the bassist/co-lead vocalist for Blink 182.

6. “Here for the conference?”

David Chilton is a finance author.

5. “Stick to feminism”

Mona Eltahawy is a journalist and social commentator.

4. “I came across your music”

Annie Lennox is a 4-time Grammy winning artist.

I think I'm in with a chance ??!!!

Posted by Annie Lennox on Thursday, June 29, 2017

3. “Instantly becomes a political expert”

Tom Morello, in addition to being a member of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave, also has a degree in Social Studies from Harvard.

View this post on Instagram

#HomeSchooling

A post shared by Tom Morello (@tommorello) on

2. “Who’s lab are you in?”

Linda Columbus is a PhD in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology.

1. “Oh, thanks.”

Mara Wilson is the actress who played Matilda.

If you happen to run into someone famous or noteworthy, here’s hoping you get like, a nice picture out of it, instead of an embarrassing story.

What’s your big celebrity citing story? Did it go well for you?

Tell us in the comments.

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