Category: love

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Enjoy Some of the Best Sex and Dating Tweets from the Last Decade

Relationships can be complicated, dramatic, and messy, but they can also be wonderful and fulfilling at the same time.

Real talk: we’re all obsessed with sex and love, so why deny it?

Let’s enjoy some tweets that went viral in a huge way.

1. There’s a scoreboard.

2. Looking to impress exactly one person.

3. Very specific.

4. Sounds very proper.

5. Thanks a lot…

6. Not like that.

7. A real romantic.

8. We’re really doing it!

9. You’re pretty much single.

10. You’re in too deep now.

11. Are you uncomfortable yet?

12. Yup, it’s dead.

13. Looking for some to do NOTHING with.

14. Well, this is a first.

15. Three stages of life.

Funny stuff, no doubt about it!

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Cuffing Season Is Here…Let’s Check out Some Tweets About It

Are you aware of “cuffing season“? It’s when people who are usually single or unattached get into a relationship during those long, cold, gray months of fall and winter.

Who doesn’t want someone to snuggle with someone by a fire when it’s freezing outside, right?

Enjoy these cuffing season tweets and keep warm out there!

1. It’s gonna be cold!

2. Getting into a bad relationship?

3. It’s worth it, right?

4. There you go!

5. “I need a place to crash…”

6. I thought the same thing.

7. The more you know.

8. Here comes the storm.

9. A sad reminder.

10. You know you’re gonna do it…

11. He’s not having it.

12. Here come the fireworks.

13. Who can resist?

14. We have a winner!

15. She knows what she wants.

Are you one of these folks? Are you a cuffer?

Share you stories in the comments!

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People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others

People are strange. Really strange, actually.

Especially when people are in relationships. Then they get really weird with all the little quirks that they share with a significant other.

AskReddit users share the weird things they like to do with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc.

Share yours in the comments!

1. The Kiss Monster.

“We have a ‘Kiss Monster’ (spoiler alert: it’s me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.

We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.”

2. Okay…

“We do ‘inverted kissing’. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party’s puckered up lips.

It’s like kissing the void. It feels really fucking uncomfortable and it’s hilarious. She always does it to me when I’m expecting a kiss.

Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going ‘noooo’.”

3. Welcome home!

“My wife usually gets home before I do from work and as soon as I enter she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing an bollywood song “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” (My love has reached home). And, then we hug and greet.

Its a little thing which has turned into some sort of ritual. We love it!

One day I rang the bell, before she unlocked the door she asks.. “whats the password?”

I replied in a low tone “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” in the same tune. She was expecting me to say something “clever” but she enjoyed the song even more because I have a bad voice.”

4. I love to annoy you!

“We often just stand in each other’s way for no reason other than to be annoying.”

5. Bread games.

“Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her “Shhhhh be bread, it’s okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it’s okay to become bread” while she cackled and screamed “I DON’T WANT TO BE BREAD.””

6. Just like pro wrestling.

“My ex used to want me to body slam her onto the bed all the time.”

7. True artists.

“Penis drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks.

When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.”

8. Let’s see who’s more dominant.

“We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert “dominance”. We use the “dominance” to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.”

9. Time to clean up.

“While we’re in the shower he’ll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he’s rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this “Carl wash” cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he’s washing me off hehe.”

10. A decade in the making.

“We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one’s own butt, moving one’s arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.

Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.”

11. Gross and weird.

“Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.

It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.”

12. Would you kindly…

“We have the WYK rule. If one of us says, “would you kindly blah blah blah” the other one must, no matter what, do that thing. There is zero negotiation. It’s mostly whipped out for benign stuff, sometimes for very silly stuff, but occasionally used in serious situations. It’s equal parts silly, fake outage, and a deep, committed trust. It only works because we trust each other not to abuse WYK or use it for evil.”

13. It gets intense?

“Sometimes when I answer the phone I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he’s Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There’s never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense.”

14. This is a real competition.

“Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.”

15. This is kinda cool

What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.

‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.

We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.

Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate

The list of whistling we do is never-ending and the language becomes more advanced by the day, but my favorite whistle is ‘accomplishment whistle’ which is a high pitched ‘doo-doo DOO’ or the spooky whistle demonstrated here

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A Research Study Shows That Cats Are Just as Loyal as Dogs

Dog people love that pups are super loyal, always waiting by the door for their arrival, and never leaving their side. While kitty owners may feel the same way about their pets, cats’ loyalty has always been a little bit…questionable.

Not any more!

In a recent study about “secure attachment,” scientists found that dogs and cats are actually very similar.

 

Oregon State University researchers found that cats attach to their humans and affixing a sense of overwhelming security to them. The basis of this study came from a series of experiments exploring bonding between parents and children done in the 1970s. These researchers decided to test cats for similar emotional bonding.

They used 70 kittens, 30 adult cats, and, of course, their owners to test the theory.

Surprisingly, scientists found that 64.3 percent of the cats shows signs of “secure attachment” when left alone in the room for two minutes. When the owners were in the room (for the same duration of time), the cats exhibited a security in exploring the room’s surroundings and appeared more relaxed.

The other 35.7 percent showed “insecure attachment,” meaning they “shunned their owners altogether or exhibited extreme clinginess.” This is, perhaps, a way to punish their owners for leaving them in strange surroundings. Side note: these secure/insecure bonding percentages are actually very similar to the percentages that appear in both human babies and puppies.

The lead author of the study, Dr. Kristyn Vitale said,

“It’s important for owners to think about that. When they’re in a stressful situation, how they’re behaving can actually have a direct impact on their cats’ behavior. Cats that are insecure can be likely to run and hide or seem to act aloof. There’s long been a biased way of thinking that all cats behave in this way. But the majority of cats use their owner as a source of security.”

Just because cats show attachment in different ways than dogs do, that doesn’t mean they love their owners any less.

So yes, dog lovers, cats can love too.

Though they still might eat your corpse.

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15 Tweets That Will Look Familiar If You’ve Ever Been in a “Situationship”

Have you experienced this situation before? you hang out with someone for quite a while, you’re intimate, it feels like a relationship…but then it never quite goes anywhere.

Sound familiar? It’s called being in a “situationship,” and a lot of us have been there at one time or another – maybe you’ve even been on both sides of it.

Here are 15 tweets that really hit the nail on the head about this unique experience in our love lives.

1. Totally on your own.

2. Skipping over that one.

3. Is that clear?

4. It sure is weird.

5. It’s fun, right?!?!

6. Gee, thanks a lot.

7. What’s the rush?

8. That’s every day.

9. Go wit da flow.

10. That’s a smart move.

11. It all goes back to this one girl…

12. Everything except that one part.

13. That doesn’t sound good at all.

14. That would sell like hotcakes.

15. Skeletons in the closet.

I know a bunch of you have been in these so-called “situationships.”

Tell us about your experience in the comments! Don’t hold back now!

The post 15 Tweets That Will Look Familiar If You’ve Ever Been in a “Situationship” appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share What Happened When They Asked out Their Crushes

Did you ever ask out a crush who you admired from afar? I did once in 7th grade. I psyched myself up and worked up to it and then…I got rejected.

But that’s how it goes sometimes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

AskReddit users who went through with asking out their crushes reveal what happened afterward.

1. Well, that’s awkward…

“She thought I was joking. We’re still friends, but it was pretty awkward.”

2. Nice work!

“I told her I loved her on the first date. She said “what?” I said it again IN CASE SHE DIDNT BLOODY HEAR IT THE FIRST TIME.

Few years later we’re still together.

So far it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”

3. Not a great outcome.

“He screamed “no” and ran away.

This was in the fifth grade.”

4. That was a date?

“She said yes. Asked her out on a second date, specifically said the word date this time. She said she didn’t know we were going out on dates. Oh well…”

5. Now you know.

“We went out on a date and I learned she was not the one for me after all. But it was a good lesson and had I not asked her out I’d just agonized over what might’ve been.”

6. Rejection is never easy.

“Haha I got rejected and now it’s awkward sometimes.”

7. A happy ending!

“She punched me in the arm and said “fuck yeah.” Then we went on the most awkward nerd date because we just wanted to like each other. It was a good nerd date. We are still dating to this day.”

8. Good luck!

“Asked mine out today, have a date on Friday.”

9. Just go for it!

“She’s sitting next me in our apartment playing Minecraft. Never thought she’d actually be interested in me. I guess I was selling myself short.

Do it. Could be the best thing you ever do.”

10. Good times…

“She said yes and we went out to dinner and saw a movie together. Dropping her off, we kissed on her parents front porch for what seemed like forever. Her dad thought so too because he started flicking the porch lights on and off. Good times.”

11. Mutual interests definitely help.

“I sat next to her in the university cafeteria – it was really, really awkward, then one of her friends came by and made it more so. Turns out we were both really shy, but had a mutual interest in geekery like sci-fi.

We’ve been married 15 years now.”

12. Still got that number.

“He was the head chef where I worked and I was new in town. We always sat in the same booth during our breaks and got to know each other over the course of a month and found out we had a lot in common. One night before I left I wrote my number down to give it to him and to ask him out. We asked each other “do you wanna hang out?” at the same time and then blushed.

Our first date was at a rooftop bar celebrating a coworkers birthday. He asked me if he could kiss me, that’s when I knew he was the one.

Now, years later, we have a beautiful baby boy that we love more than each other. He still has my phone number in his wallet.”

13. Congrats!

“We’re getting married on Saturday.”

14. Hmmmmm…

“He said he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend but he was interested if it was sex only. I politely declined.”

15. That’s a heartbreaker.

“3rd grade.

He showed everyone the gift I made him and everyone laughed at me for weeks.

I thought it was a nice gift, made it myself. Apparently not.”

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15 Hilarious Tweets That Get to the Heart of Married Life

Love lasts forever, right? Right?!?!

Suuuuuuuure it does.

ALRIGHT, maybe that’s not 100% true, which is why tweet lists like this are so darn funny.

Because if you’re married, or have been married, or maybe even thought about getting married at some point, these musings will ring a bell.

Okay, let’s dive in!

1. I don’t have access to it right now.

2. It just never ends.

3. Think she might be on to something?

4. Two kittens it is!

5. Don’t tell her about that.

6. Not our problem…this time.

7. Needs the proper attire.

8. That is beautiful.

9. Seems like a fair number.

10. That’s a day-long process.

11. Just like Norman Bates.

12. Oooooo, that’s hot.

13. Wish we had some video of this.

14. Okay, it’s your call.

15. Now you know!

Some of those are a bit harsh, but what can you do?

That’s the way the cookie crumbles, right?

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Enjoy These Funny Tweets About the Wonderful World of Marriage

Marriage is an eternal union where two people are bonded together forever – wait a second, what am I talking about?

People these days get married so they can tweet about it and the rest of us can enjoy it.

At least, that’s my understanding of the institution of marriage. I might be a bit off, though…

But let’s not choose sides here, let’s just all agree that marriage can equal comedy gold. Just like these tweets!

1. It’s not going very well. 

2. Having some dark thoughts?

3. He needed to see the ending.

4. How romantic…

5. A new family member.

6. She always comes through.

7. Thanks a lot!

8. Still have some things to work on.

9. A nice little Friday night.

10. I’m sure she doesn’t find this annoying at all.

11. That has ended many relationships.

12. Things are getting a little testy.

13. Get into the corners really well.

14. His biggest achievement.

15. Them’s the rules.

Ladies and gents, share a funny marriage story with us.

And be sure to tell us how long you’ve been hitched so we can compare tales!

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15 Accurate Tweets About Sex and Dating

Funny and painful. Kind of sums up dating and being in a relationship, doesn’t it?

That’s kind of sad, actually…

Sad, but true!

In the spirit of soul-crushing experiences, let’s take a look at some funny tweets about sex and dating. Yay!

1. Or maybe even 60…

2. It sure does add up.

3. Two sides of the coin.

4. You are not alone, my friend.

5. That’s a bummer.

6. Let’s go to the rankings.

7. Making all kinds of noise.

8. You might as well.

9. What a surprise that must’ve been.

10. Doing it all wrong.

11. That’s not a date?

12. She quit her job for YOU.

13. Is that good or bad?

14. Way to ruin the friend group.

15. I’m trying…trust me.

I hate to do this to you, but…please share some of your own awkward/painful/hilarious sex and dating stories in the comments.

We need to feel better about ourselves over here!!

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Muammar Qaddafi had a crush on Condoleezza…

Muammar Qaddafi had a crush on Condoleezza Rice. Sometimes referring to her as his ‘African princess’, he had a Libyan composer write a song called ‘Black Flower in the White House,’ and had a homemade scrapbook filled with photos of the former U.S. secretary of state.