Category: life

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Tweets With Some Good News (For a Change)

It’s time to sprinkle some happiness in your life with some posts that contain only good news!

I know it’s hard to figure out how to feel about these, since everything is like, brimstone and fire these days, but I swear – these 13 posts are going to make you remember that it’s nice to smile sometimes!

13. I would like to meet the person who was brave enough to dress these geese.

Those things are mean as hell.

12. This is just slaying me.

That dog is so embarrassed but at least hair grows.

11. I’m going to need an update in 18 years.

He’s definitely getting drafted if baseball is a thing by then.

10. Nobody wants to pray alone.

Except, you know, most people.

9. I have never been more jealous in my life.

How do I tempt foxes to have babies in my yard?!

Two foxes have decided to take advantage of the UK lockdown and use my friends garden to raise their cubs. from aww

8. I approve of this message.

It’s better than the original, honestly.

7. I’m going to need more of this immediately.

Ever teacher needs to make this a project, STAT.

6. Love is real, you guys!

And it also involves being in the room while the other person poops, but nothing is perfect.

5. Well, she’s marrying into the right family.

Talk about hitting the lottery!

My mother-in-law set up a sweetheart table for my fiancée and I on what was supposed to be our wedding day. from MadeMeSmile

4. This is the saddest dog on the planet.

My heart, y’all. MY HEART.

3. Peak lockdown right there.

Sheep are dumb, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to party.

Sheep discovers how to use a trampoline from aww

2. This is definitely a thing that makes me smile.

New Yorkers are good people.

1. The lure of Animal Crossing knows no bounds.

It’s one of the things bringing us all together.

I definitely needed these in my life today, how about you?

Which one did the trick? Tell us in the comments!

The post Tweets With Some Good News (For a Change) appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Laugh About the Best WiFi Name They’ve Seen

A lot of times when you go to log on to your home or public WiFi, the other available networks don’t catch your eye. They’re named for businesses or they’re the numbers that were assigned to networks and routers before they were installed, or they’re people’s last names (boring!).

Some people, though, never pass up an opportunity to get creative and make people laugh – like these 16 people, who named their WiFi networks something you definitely couldn’t miss.

Bless.

16. I always like ones like this.

For the longest time, I had my phones hotspot name as ‘Police Surveillance Tricycle’.

Turns out, its a good way to get some people paranoid and have others amused over the whole thing when having it active during classes.

15. If that doesn’t make you laugh, I don’t know what to tell you – it’s a classic!

“Router? I hardly know her” was my all-time favorite.

14. People really are hilarious.

My favorite is “it’s on the back of the router”

Edit: on the back of the router it would say “ask (my name) for password.”

13. It’s funny…because it’s true.

“Crack Shack” which wasn’t exactly creative but we later found out that the owners were arrested for selling drugs

12. I’m betting only some people thought that was funny.

Was at a church and some neighbour had “Jesus has left the building”

11. The only thing that would have been better was “Hot Signals In Your Area.”

My younger brother set his mobile hotspot to “Hot Singles in Your Area” and I’m never gonna get over it

10. That’s one way to keep them busy.

One of my son’s (probably about 12 or 13 at the time) friend’s father set added a Wi-Fi channel named “Free Internet Porn” when his son had a birthday sleep-over.

The father then sat outside the area where they were sleeping and listened to them spend hours trying to figure out how to connect. My son called me that night asking how to connect to a Wi-Fi channel when you don’t know the password because his friend forgot their password. I told him the only way was to guess.

Evidently it kept them busy and out of trouble all night!

9. They’re never gonna guess!

We’re not allowed to have our own routers on campus.

So I named mine AT&T Mobile Hotspot.

8. Everyone loves a good pun.

In my last apartment I named my wifi New England Clam Router.

Always liked that one.

7. I think this one might be my favorite.

“Rebellious Amish Family”

6. Grandma is fierce AF!

When my grandma was getting her WiFi set up, we asked her what she’d say to people who asked for her WiFi.

She said that she would tell them to “Go to Hell”, so that’s now her password.

So whenever people ask for the WiFi password, she tells them, “Go to Hell”.

5. Of course they did.

I install internet etc. for a living.

Best one I ever came up with was for the DeltaPhi sorority, DeltaWiPhi, they loved it.

4. Laurel and Hardy at your service.

Wedonthavewifi

Password was idontknow

Hilarious when anyone asked him how to get on his WiFi.

It was like a vaudeville routine.

3. Hey when you find a good one you stick with it.

My dads a huge fan of the matrix and calls every router we’ve ever had the Nebuchadnezzar

2. Definitely not your LAN, sorry.

This LAN is my LAN.

1. Clever and not too overdone.

I had a roommate that named ours Batlan and Login.

I always thought that was clever.

I love people like this and wish I could be one of them.

What would your contribution to this list be? Tell us in the comments!

The post People Laugh About the Best WiFi Name They’ve Seen appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Imagine a World With a “Reverse Yelp” and the Reviews Are Spot On

Yelp! can be super helpful if you’re looking for somewhere to stay, eat, or are thinking of booking one of the services they cover. The site allows users to rate products and experience so that other people know whether or not it would be worth their time to check the place out, too.

Unfortunately, most businesses and service people don’t have the opportunity or any way to rate customers in return, even fi someones they really, really deserve it (good or bad!).

Enter Reddit, whose users imagine what people might say if they did get that opportunity.

14. The dream, right there. Take notes.

Came in. Ordered. Ate their food in silence. Left minimal mess and a reasonable tip. Then buggered off.

My perfect customer.

5 stars.

13. See. Not all customers are bad customers.

Her kids dropped the popcorn so she asked me for a broom to let them clean it up themselves.

I said it wasn’t necessary but she insisted that she wanted to raise them to be conscious of the fact that when they make a mess someone has to clean it up.

Nice lady. 5/5

12. That’s the way to take back control.

Drunken fool tried to return half bottle of booze because it “tastes off.”

Watch him get in his car and promptly called police to report drunken driver.

11. This is sad but also, fist-bump for the server.

This girl was clearly having a bad day. She seemed really angry and upset. I tried my best to help, but there wasn’t much I could do. I took her order, served her as usual. She got a call and walked out of the restaurant.

I went to the table and found a 50 dollar bill and a sweet little note about how her husband died and she really appreciates my patience.

5 stars, best customer.

10. It’s time to unload!

“You were the most unreasonable person I have ever met. Every single person, from the ushers (who are volunteers) to the other patron who offered their seat to you wanted to help. I wanted to help you.

I know when you are unable to transfer out of your wheelchair, it is a frustrating situation. It must be absolutely maddening when the house manager can not remove the seat in the center of the theatre (which was bolted to not only the cement floor, but to the rest of the seats in the row) so you can put that wheelchair there.

I’m sorry that our ADA seating were at the front and rear of the theatre, and not where you purchased your ticket. I’m sorry that when you called our box office, you did not mention your inability to transfer out of your wheelchair.

But you did not need to yell and curse in front of everyone waiting to watch Miss Saigon. You did not have to hit me. You are the first and last person I ever issued a refund to just to get you to stop screaming.

When you needed to get back to the lobby and were unable to push your wheelchair back up the ramp, I again tried to help you. First, I offered to push you up myself, but you insisted I should not touch the wheelchair (please note: no one had ever called me a f-word/c-word before, kudos to your creativity).

I then offered to find your now absent husband/boyfriend. It wouldn’t have been hard to find him, for he was at the bar ordering his third whiskey (lobby had only been open for 20minutes at that point). But again, you vehemently declined assistance.

But I must say, it was rather astounding when you stood up and proceeded to walk the wheelchair back to the box office of your own volition. I say astounding, because when your husband/boyfriend asked why you were leaving, and you said because you ‘didn’t want to sit in our fucked up seats.’

I then assumed you had a condition whereupon sitting for long periods of time caused great discomfort. I then asked if there was a way to further accommodate you so that you may see the show. Then your husband called you ‘an old bat who was just trying to get free tickets. She’s not disabled, it’s all an act!’

I bid you both a goodnight. 1 Star. I would have given you 0 stars, but I reserve that for the person who tried to kill me because a queue line wasn’t moving fast enough for their liking.”

9. This is everyone’s review of me, ever.

“Very polite but also incredibly awkward for some reason.”

8. People are so stinking entitled.

A customer walked in the front door of my very closed, curbside only pub today and asked if we had any steak. He had to ignore a giant sign saying

PLEASE STAY OUTSIDE WE WILL BRING YOUR PHONE/ONLINE ORDER OUT TO YOU.

Zero out of five stars. I almost had a rage stroke.

7. Is there a lower option?

The lady who yelled at me on the second day of my first job over the price of milk can have a solid 1 star.

6. Just be ready for it.

Becky and Judy, five stars.

After two glasses of temperanillo Judy is going to order a half glass. Ask if she went to physical therapy today for her shoulder.

If she did, give her the full glass. Becky will wink at you.

5. A head’s up is always nice.

I’ve got a few…

  • “Very friendly, usually gets a root beer to start and a coffee after their meal.”
  • “Eats out on break from lunch daily, usually wants quick service and minimal interruptions, sometimes eats with a client. Usually tips well.”
  • “Made many additional requests throughout the meal during peak dinner hour. Left the table disgustingly messy. Did not tip well.”
  • “This guest is awesome! Likes to take suggestions, so offer a drink and make sure to have some lesser known dishes memorized. Will talk to you for as long as you let them.”
  • I would mostly try to let other waiters know what to expect from tables.

You’re welcome.

4. It’s sad that he’s in the minority.

Nice, pleasant man. Always orders the same sandwich every time, making preparing for him simple despite the complicated sandwich. Tips well, never talks longer it takes to complete his order.

Also, the only male regular over 50 that doesn’t leer at my underage coworker.

5 stars.

3. Just don’t get popcorn, Karen!

“Came on opening weekend of one of the biggest movies of the year 5 minutes before the showtime and then was shocked they’d have to stand in line for their concessions. Then complained to management that they ‘missed their movie’.

Like what did they think was going to happen? Like we’d have a reserved placed in line for them because of their obvious VIP status as King Douchelord of Assland?

0 stars!”

2. Negative 5 stars? WOAH.

She lied about her hair history, wanted white blonde in one session on her “virgin” dark hair that the strand test determined was a lie. Said she could do it herself at home, turned hair orange instead.

Came back to get a color correction and after explaining why she couldn’t have blonde she said she’d settle for anything but orange and lighter than the dark. Gets a beautiful chocolate/caramel color and cries because it’s not blonde and too expensive, and also leaves no tip.

-5 stars, not worth my time

1. Who does that?!

“Brought infant to rated R movie then complained that it was ‘too scary’ and demanded a refund.

0 stars.”

I think some of these are about the nicest things someone could say, given the chance.

If you work in the service industry, what’s the worst review you would give a customer? Tell us about it in the comments!

The post People Imagine a World With a “Reverse Yelp” and the Reviews Are Spot On appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About What Their Parents Threw out That Would Be Worth a Lot of Money These Days

My dad always says that if he would’ve kept his baseball card collection from the 1950s he’d be a millionaire.

Well, it didn’t exactly work out that way…

I don’t know if he threw those cards out or his parents did, but they’re LONG GONE.

And you know this is a pretty common story.

A lot of us had collections of all kinds of stuff when we were kids that suddenly disappeared for one reason or another.

In this AskReddit article, people talk about the things they had as kids that would be worth a lot of money…if their parents hadn’t thrown it all away.

1. Dammit, Mom!

“My brother had a bunch of first edition Pokémon cards, that he spent over a year collecting.

Mom took them away for getting in trouble at school, and they were never seen again.”

2. Oh, those…

“I had the complete collection of teenage mutant ninja turtles figures.

I packed them into a box and put them away then later when looking for them i couldn’t find them… asked my mother.. “oh those, i threw them out.. you weren’t playing with them anymore””

3. It’s not “junk”.

“About 40 Indian Arrow heads collected on my grandparents farm for years by myself and my grandfather and full sets of baseball cards from 1969-1980, my mom decided to toss out all that “junk” when I moved out for military.”

4. That is not cool.

“After my mom died, my dad met this crazy, Jehovah’s Witness woman and one thing led to another. About a month before my high school graduation we got into a HUGE fight over something  and she burned my collection of old Dungeons and Dragons
books and magic cards.

Complete collections…Every 1st edition book in good condition
signed by Gary Gygax. I guess my brother knew him at some point.

The real kicker? I rode the wave of the original magic the gathering launches back in the day, complete sets of the original series through…homelands? All burnt to a crisp. Every once in a while when i want to be depressed about never being able to retire i look up the card values.”

5. Comic books.

“Nearly all of the first 24 editions of virtually every Marvel series, from The Fantastic Four to Spiderman (including the Amazing Tales in which he was introduced) to Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos. Basically all of them.

At a comic book store I was once looking at some collectors editions of those comics priced at about $1,500 to $,2400. I said to the clerk “Man, I used to have all of these.”

The clerk, whom I’m sure was Matt Groening’s model for Comic Book Man, without even looking up said in a bored voice, “Do you know how many times a day I hear that?””

6. Evil devil music!

“My mom had a collection of signed Beatles records that she threw away after she converted to Christianity because played backwards they summoned the devil or something.

For years I was hoping to inherit it when I grew up.

All I think it summoned was poverty. :/ “

7. Stamp collectors.

“Stamps.

When I was around 7 I used to stay at this friend of my parents house. She was older, and sort of a substitute grandmother. Her mother lived with her, she used to collect stamps. When she passed away the subbie gran gave me the collection.

My oldest brother had them in his room, I can’t remember why. My parents used to make a big pile in the middle of our rooms of what was messy and we had a couple of hours to put it all away. My brother faffed about and didn’t do it. So the remaining pile was thrown out. In that pile was the collection of stamps.

To this day I believe that there would have been valuable stamps in that collection considering the age of the collection, but I’ll never know.”

8. That’s kind of weird.

“I had mined 8 bitcoins at age 16. Kept them in a hard disk. When they grew in value I searched for and hard disk to know that my mom sold it to a 19 yr old for $50. I still curse my mom for doing that.”

9. Those very popular dolls.

“Barbies.

My family wasn’t super well-off growing up, but for some reason they allowed my sibling and I to amass dozens of Barbies, hundreds of clothes, two doll houses, three cars, one RV, a plane, and so fucking much else besides. When I was 12 and had outgrown it all, my dad decided it was time to pass them onto younger cousins or otherwise get rid of them.

Looking back, we should’ve held onto most of it. I had celebrity Barbies, anniversary Barbies, Barbies that came with horses, or were ballerinas, or were otherwise novel in the Barbie world. I literally spent 10 years collecting Barbies and now don’t even have a single shoe to show for it.”

10. I bet you’d like to have those right about now.

“The original Transformers in boxes. Had all main characters and nearly all of the smaller bots. Got em when I was 11, 12 or so in the mid 80s.

Left for the military and mom had a huge garage sale…”

11. That’s interesting.

“Lynyrd Skynyrd had released an album where the album cover had the band members standing in a fire. Not long after the release of this album, some of the members died in a plane crash and they recalled the albums so they could give it a more appropriate cover.

My grandpa had one of the originals and he probably could have made a lot off it… if his mom didn’t throw it away not knowing what it was…”

12. Long gone.

“A bunch of World War I coins that was thrown away because I never looked at them, I knew they were gonna be worth a fortune so I tried to not go near them because I was extremely paranoid.”

13. That’s a rough one.

“Not thrown away, but sold. I had a baseball card collection with over 200,000 cards when I was a teenager. Many HOF autographs, memorabilia cards, signed gloves and balls, a game worn jersey from the Padres 98 World Series run.

Needless to say, it was already worth a decent amount at that time. I have looked up some of the larger items in today’s retail markets, and those alone would’ve fetched around $20-25,000 USD. My mom took them when I moved to my dad’s house because she was abusive. Sold it all for a few thousand on Craigslist and kept the money.”

14. Remember those?

“My collection of Polly Pockets.

I’ve literally seen some of the ones I had worth thousands of dollars now.”

15. The vintage stuff.

“Robots, lots of robots from the 60’s, and 70’s, some were the tin type, some were plastic, some I haven’t even seen on the internet although I keep thinking someone has to have at least one left somewhere.

All in total about 25+ kinds of robots from my childhood, that my dad threw out because apparently when you turn 12, you don’t need toys. This is probably why my wife makes fun of all the junk I keep, because I never got the choice to part with them so now I horde all remaining childhood possessions.”

16. Had to do it.

“I remember when state quarters first came out, my father sent me a collection of every first edition state quarter and one time I went to show my friends awhile later and couldn’t find them, I asked my mother and she said she had to use them for laundry.

We were very poor at the time so I understand, but I was a little sad by it as well because it was one of the only things my father ever sent me.”

Ouch!

It hurts to read some of those stories, huh?

Now we want to hear from you!

Did your parents ever get rid of some items that became valuable a lot later? Or maybe you lost them or threw them away yourself?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post People Talk About What Their Parents Threw out That Would Be Worth a Lot of Money These Days appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Their Dumbest Ideas That Actually Worked

Sometimes, dumb ideas really do the trick!

I can’t say it’s ever really happened to me, but it definitely does for some folks out there.

And you’re about to read about them!

Here are some very entertaining stories from AskReddit users.

1. Wow! That’s crazy!

“In my freshman year of college, my grades were really not great. And my parents were really strict about getting good grades. When my dad asked to see my grades, I panicked and did the inspect command on the computer where you can change type faces on the screen to read different words and letters.

I changed all of my shitty grades to good grades. My dad was so happy that I did “good” my first year of school. He asked me to print my results. I did, and turns out he had to send them to our car insurance company for a “good student discount”. Ultimately, I committed insurance fraud by accident. But I got the discount.”

2. You look weird, but it works.

“Wearing a motorcycle helmet while snowblowing.

I did it because i missed riding, it kept my face warm and when snow would fly back at me the visor would protect me.”

3. A dangerous idea.

“A storm broke a limb on a tree hanging over my house in my back yard, but it was still hanging on by a few splinters. I didn’t want it to fall, and it wasn’t in a place where I could use my ladder to get to it.

So I found some rope, tied a brick to it, threw the brick and rope over the limb, made a crude rope swing, and swung and pulled at the branch until it finished breaking.

It wasn’t until I was using the chainsaw to cut it up that I realized how many times during my stupid idea I could have easily hurt or even killed myself.”

4. That’s pretty good!

“Our power was out due to a storm. I had a campstove to use for boiling water to make a coffee pour-thru, but I couldn’t use my electric grinder for the coffee beans. I tried fashioning a mortal and pestle but it was taking too long.

So, I put the coffee beans in a couple of ziplock bags, placed the bag right behind a car tire, then ran over it back and forth a couple of times to crush the beans. Worked like a charm.”

5. V.I.P.

“A friend and I once snuck 15 people into the Warped Tour by giving them some bracelets from a party supply store and clipboards full of paper.

Walked up to the side gate and said we were with Rock The Vote. The security guard waved us right in.”

6. You’re hired!

“I forgot to bring a resume to a job interview, but I had an index card in my bag. I cut the index card in half and wrote my name, my contact info, and “creative problem solver” in my best handwriting, and gave a copy of my “business card” to both the interviewers.

I got the job.”

7. This is great.

“When I was young and broke I bought a sofa from a used furniture store. I had no way to take the sofa home.

I went to a used car lot a couple of blocks away and took a truck for a test drive…”

8. Just like on TV!

“I’m stuck on a cliff, but if I jump at a really sharp angle at that gravel field, I could just slide down there and be fine, just like in TV!“

Every time I think about this I am amazed I’m not either flattened by a rock, or impact against something.

Childhood really is just the tutorial level sometimes.”

9. Congratulations!

“In college I was taking a class that required me to purchase an online textbook and workbook that was registered under your name, basically ensuring that each student would have to buy a new online copy each semester instead of buying used textbooks.

I had a friend who took this class a semester before me so we came up with the idea to message customer service and explain that I had recently gotten married (so my last name had changed) and I legally changed my first name from [my friend’s first name] to [my first name] and I would need them to change it in their system.

It totally worked and the rep even congratulated my on my marriage.”

10. This is smart.

“Real estate told me I had to have the carpets professionally cleaned (wasn’t in the contract) or I’d lose my $800 bond.

I did some research and found out I could become an accredited carpet cleaner as there are no official licencing boards in my state.

So, I did what any sane person would do. I paid the $85, did the online course and got my certificate. Registered a business name, ABN etc etc. (all free)

Handed the property management a copy of my accreditation and an invoice for services.

I became a professional carpet cleaner and launched a vacate cleaning business that is still going 6 months later.

I did clean the carpets. They claimed I didn’t and required a professional cleaners invoice as proof. So I gave them the proof.

I did not charge the real estate agency, it was a copy of the invoice they claimed to require.

I do professional house keeping and cleaning for vacating a property at the end of lease to enure you get maximum bond back.

I help people who are being unfairly treated by their property management and advise them on what steps to take in regards to cleaning, repairs etc

-With the return of the bond, and some smart shopping, I was able to purchase my own equipment to continue the job, I then claimed those costs back on tax.”

11. Blind luck.

“This idea could’ve easily gotten me fired if it went wrong.

I was working as art-director at an animation studio, making videos for clients. One client was especially pesky about the use of yellow in the background. They wanted it to be that of their logo, which was this horrible neon-piss yellow.

We advised against it, but after numerous calls we had to cave and gave a version with that colour. They hated it, and asked for a change. What followed were 12 versions with numerous calls in between tweaking the colour over and over.

Eventually I got tired of it and just sent the original version again, I didn’t even bother to rename the file. The client said “this looks exactly the way I wanted, thank you”!

How that ever went right I still have no idea.”

12. When in Rome…

“Dressing like a redneck to pick up chicks. Went to college in the south but the guys there were all very preppy. I thought because a lot of the girls grew up in the south, they would be drawn to more of a redneck vibe that not many people on campus had. so I bought a camo fishing hat.

Literally had three girls start conversations with me that day.”

13. Very satisfying.

“There was a swarm of hornets that had made a nest under the front of our porch with only one specific narrow entry in or out.

Spray wouldn’t work and it was right under our front door, so had no way to keep exterminating them.

Then I realized “why not whirring blades of metal?”. We DID have an old 50s metal fan and I could maybe blow them away from the entrance so they had no way to get in.

The unanticipated effect was that it worked, though after a few hours had created a Civil War battlefield of dead or dying hornets piling up like a zombie tower in World War Z. Every few moments you’d hear “thunk” as another hornet fell into the trap.

So satisfying.”

14. Fakin’ it.

“Was really REALLY desperate to leave past employer after 15 years. Had been applying and interviewing and striking out. Finally got an interview at a place where (at the time) I felt, “meh, I am not really sure this is right for me, but anything is better than where I am at.”

Instead of prepping for the interview, rehearsing answers, etc…I pulled an “office space.” I was cocky, brash, unconcerned, made it seem like I was happy where I was at and didn’t really care if I got the job or not.

They called me back the next week and I waited a week to return their call. Same deal with the second interview. When they offered me the job, I hemmed and hawed, said I needed to think about it really hard, and that it was a “big move” for me, etc., etc. I came back and demanded well over $15,000 above what they were offering in salary. They accepted.”

15. Just like Costanza.

“It probably wouldn’t work in this day and age but back when I was young I was tired of retail and wanted an office job. I just lied my ass off and pulled a total George Costanza what with friends coached to answer their phones as a business and such.

Got hired as an admin assistance and been steadily moving up since.”

Color me impressed!

I guess I’ll have to give more dumb ideas a chance once in a while.

How about you? Have you had any dumb ideas that actually ended up working out?

If so, please tell us about them in the comments!

The post People Share Their Dumbest Ideas That Actually Worked appeared first on UberFacts.

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Police Officers Talk About the Smartest Criminals They’ve Ever Encountered

It’s been a permanent fixture of film, television, and literature for years. The cunning criminal who is so bright that they routinely outsmart the police and make them look foolish.

But this phenomenon exists in real life too, believe it or not.

AskReddit users shared their stories about especially smart criminals.

Let’s see what they had to say.

1. That is insane.

“My favorite was the guy who stole a post office mailbox off the street, repainted it, and then put it next to the night deposit box at a bank.

And hung an out-of-order sign on the deposit box. All the businesses came along and dropped off their deposits in the mailbox.”

2. Ahhhhh, the GPS.

“I worked crime scenes. This guy had attached GPS to the bottom of peoples cars who owned houses, he wanted to rob.

He did it to ensure they wouldn’t be showing up while he was ransacking the place.”

3. Almost got away with it.

“I remember an officer telling me about a B&E alarm he and his team responded to. No one was there to report the alarm, it must have been a security monitoring company that called.

When police showed up, everything seemed normal, most lights were off, and there was an employee still working. Explains he was there working late and must have set off an alarm.

They almost believed him until he said “uhh” before saying the name of the company he worked for. After that it was downhill but with a little more research he would have pretty much gotten away with it.”

4. On parole…

“There’s one guy I recently dealt with who is on parole. I stopped him in my city after he was looking to buy drugs (usually people come from all over to buy drugs and then leave). I issue him a warning and let him go as it’s pretty common and he sang like a bird regarding the people he was trying to buy from.

Anyway, the next day, I got a call from his parole officer who says he was alerted the guy was pulled over and wanted to verify that It was his guy that I stopped. I’m a little confused at first but he goes on to say that the day before, he was scheduled to meet with him but he had an excuse and bailed.

His excuse was that he was in the hospital. Well when he spoke with him the following day, he was able to provide documentation that he had entered the hospital day 1 and had left day 2. Well I had stopped him at 115 in the morning and after looking at the picture, it was 100% him.

Turns out the guy had checked in then out of the hospital on day 1, then in and out again on day 2. He then re arranged half the paperwork to make it look like he was in the hospital overnight which would make my car stop of him appear like I mixed him up with someone else as well as give him a valid excuse to miss their meeting.

Not sure what’s gonna happen to that guy but I thought it was pretty clever.”

5. It’s cold outside.

“Worked at a jail. After getting off work, I watched an ex inmate (homeless) being released, he walked over to a patrol car, looked me in the eye, and the elbowed the window in. He was walked back to the entrance and re-booked in. It was middle of January. He didn’t want to get too cold.

To the people talking about “Can’t break car windows.” That’s true. Also depends on the car. The patrol car they used was specifically old model. Used more for the perimeter of the jail unless other patrol cars were in the shop. Those windows had been replaced so many times. Idk if it’s the same material or what.”

6. The great state of Costco.

“A friend of my brother moved to Israel where for a period of time it was/is acceptable to drive with an American driver’s license.

He was pulled over for speeding, and when asked for his license, gave the officer his Costco card (Costco is a membership-based retail warehouse in the US and a few other countries. The exchange apparently went something like this: Officer: “Costco? What is Costco?”

Friend: “It’s the state I’m from.”

Officer: “That sounds made up.”

Friend: “There are lots of states you probably haven’t heard of. Have you heard of Arkansas? How about Idaho?”

Officer: “I guess not…”

Friend: “Well I’m from the small state of Costco.”

The officer didn’t have a response and wound up writing the ticket to someone with a Costco driver’s license. Friend framed the ticket and still has it hanging on his wall.”

7. It all adds up.

“One guy would print barcodes, bring them into home depot and stick them on merchandise in the $100 range. When scanned the items came up around the $10 range. Putting random barcodes on things isnt really illegal and super hard to notice. Guy two would come in an hour later and buy the underpriced stuff. Complete plausible deniability. They would then sell the stuff on Ebay.

Only reason they got caught is because the guy with the barcode printer/software cut the second guy out of the operation so guy 2 stole a bunch of barcodes, put them on the merchandise and paid for it immediately afterwards. He then proceeded to rat on the first guy and spilled the beans they had been doing this on a weekly basis for over four years.

Because we could only pin the one case on him, the burglary was dropped down to a pretty theft and he walked away with a few days in county and a small fine. Dude probably took homedepot for tens of thousands over the years.”

8. Fraud!

“I have a nice story from insurance/debt collectors.

There was this guy who was already in heaps of debt. Like more than a lifetimes worth of debt.

He proceeded to file several policereports for identity theft up to the point that he got protected from financial checkups – It was a temporary measure that were given to repeated identity theft victims. At the same time he had reported fake income to the IRS for the last couple of years to between 40 to 60 millions depending on the year.

So when he applied for credit cards and loans, they were unable to check his financial credit (Due to the identity theft protection) but they checked his tax returns which showed he had a massive income.

Got his loans and credit cards – emptied them out and left the country.”

9. Very clever…

“A while back, there was a series of thefts along the bus lines in my country. People’s things kept missing from one city to the next, and nobody had any idea what happened as things were presumably safe in the bottom of the bus which nobody except the driver had the access to.

What happened?

Apparently there were two guys, one of whom was really small. You get where this is going. The big guy would put the little guy in a suitcase, buy a ticket to somewhere, load him up with the rest of the luggage, and enjoy the ride, while the little guy went out, stole people’s electronics, jewelry, cameras and whatnot, then returned to his suitcase until the ride was over.

Not really sure how they caught them, but it was pretty amusing to read about, and i found the whole thing clever enough.”

10. This guy wasn’t messing around.

“There was an incident in Fargo ND where a guy wanted to steal electronics equipment. The store had plenty of alarms on it and generally cutting an alarm triggers an alarm so instead he cut ALL the alarms. This was before cellphones were really widespread and alarms were usually just connected to the phone line.

He found an access point to one of the phone companies big trunk lines (correction: 9 access points). Massive thick copper cables with tens of thousands of lines running through them. He cut through the whole thing with a circular saw, knocked out phone service to most of the town and robbed an audio store during the ensuing chaos.

There were no leads until a tip came in from another town where he’d pulled something similar. They hadn’t been able to pin that to him but had strong suspicions and he’d relocated to Fargo. So the cops pay him a visit. He refused to let them in because they didn’t have a warrant so the cops left to get one without leaving anyone to watch him and he split. When they came back they found the saw coated in copper dust and a lot of the stolen stuff.

He was in the wind for a while but even after he got caught he had another card to play. While being transported between prisons he used a key he’d made to unlock his shackles and climbed out the roof vent of the bus.”

11. In broad daylight.

“20 years ago a guy on Australia’s Gold Coast got away with a bank robbery in broad daylight.

He cased the bank for a while and discovered a pattern of the bank manager arriving about 30 minutes before anyone else each morning where he would leave the front doors unlocked so staff could help themselves in without a key or needing to wait for the boss to come and let them in.

One morning the crook dressed himself up for a busy day of office work and waited for the bank manager to arrive. As the manager was unlocking the doors he made his move, entering the building and threatening the manager with a gun. He got all the details he’d need to access the vault and so forth and then tied the manager up and stuffed him in his office.

When the staff arrived he told them that the manager had called in sick and that regional office had sent him in to do the open shop thing and no one batted an eyelid. This bank had a small walk in vault that normally only held about 30-50k on any given day but old mate had timed his robbery for the morning after business banking day when all the local small businesses would make their end of week deposits and reportedly got a score of close to 250k.

Once the vault was open he pulled his gun out and invited all the staff to enter the vault and locked them in. By this stage the bank was due to be open so when he went to leave there were a number of customers waiting to get inside to do their banking.

He told them all that there had been an issue with the computers and that the tech team had estimated it would take about 30 minutes before the issue would be resolved and that they couldn’t open until then.

Then he got into his car and drove straight to the airport and flew to Hong Kong and then disappeared.

To my knowledge the cops never caught him and never managed to find the money – they knew he’d have had to leave most of it in Australia somewhere because you can only take 10k aud in cash in any currency out of the country before customs pulls you into their interview rooms so the assumption was that he had to have an accomplice here who would funnel the money to him slowly over time.”

12. Never got caught.

“Several years ago in Cape Coral FL, a man waited on a sidewalk in front of a Publix grocery store and used a taser on an armored car guard carrying too bags of money.

A get away driver in a car with stolen tags pulled up, taser guy and money bags get in and they took off. Never caught.”

13. Small-town crime.

“Probably one of the smartest robberies in my small city.

One of the main streets is cut into a hillside and, as a result, there is a very steep and quite tall concrete-covered bank immediately behind the buildings. Between two buildings there is a gap that was filled at the street-end by an ATM.

To access it for filling, the security staff went through the next door building, out a side door and into the gap, which had the ATM at one end and the steep bank at the other. On the Friday before Christmas, when the ATM was to be filled to the brim, one of the robbers abseiled down the bank at night into the gap and waited for the guys to arrive to fill the ATM (they came early in the morning).

As they came through the door into the gap, he held them up, took the money, and took off through the building to an accomplice waiting in a van on the main street. Then the van took off on the main road out of the city and vanished.

After a big search, the police finally found the burnt-out van. Turned out the gang had driven it up a gorge road and had two other accomplices in cars at the top and bottom of the gorge who simultaneously drove really slowly into the gorge and held up the traffic so that no one was there to see them when they turned off down an access road into some bush.

They ended up being caught, because one of the gang was a former employee of the security company.”

14. Working the system.

“I worked with this one guy who had a lengthy record. He had a system for getting released if he got caught. After committing a crime, if the police were in pursuit and he knew he was about to be cornered, he would act insane.

His girl would play along with it telling the police that he was off his medication. The police would arrest him but then send him to a mental ward with papers instructing the ward to release to police once he was cleared. Once he was in the mental ward, he would cause a distraction that would make the person attending the desk with the file cabinet to leave said cabinet.

He would then crawl to the file cabinet, look for his “release to police” papers, and then would literally eat the papers. When the psych evaluators decided that he was stable enough to be released, there would be no instructions to send him to the police, and he would be released to the general public.

He did this about 10 times until police officers noticed him back on the streets. This stunt forced the state to change their procedure for detaining mentally unstable suspects.”

As someone who is pretty obsessed with crime, these stories were very interesting to me.

Now we want to hear from you!

Have you run across any wily criminals in your day?

Maybe as a cop, a lawyer, or in some other capacity?

Tell us about them in the comments!

The post Police Officers Talk About the Smartest Criminals They’ve Ever Encountered appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Discuss What It Would Take to Make Them 100% Happy in Life

This is a difficult question for any person to answer: what would it take to make you 100% happy.

I think some folks out there don’t even believe that a person can be 100% happy…but I guess it all depends on the individual…

Some people want big, grand things in their lives and others want simplicity

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say about the matter.

1. Very lonely.

“A friend or, God forbid, a girlfriend.

I’ve been out of college several years now and I’ve been friendless ever since. Hard to be excited about something and have nobody to tell.”

2. All they’ve ever wanted.

“I think finding someone who genuinely loves me for who I am and wants a present and future with me.

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.”

3. Needing a break.

“Man if I had childcare in this moment I would totally lay down for like 2 hours for a nap!

But I. I am the childcare.”

4. Money issues.

“Being debt-free.

Student loans make up at least 80% of my stress…”

5. A big loss.

“Having my dog. His final vet visit was a couple hours ago.

I’m out of country working so I had to say my goodbyes when I left after Christmas. It’s very difficult by myself.

He was a great pet. He picked our family at 8 weeks. He was well loved and looked after.

His ashes will be joining me when it’s my turn.”

6. Like it used to be.

“My wife to be well again. If she felt better and we could hang out like we used to, I honestly feel like my life would be perfect.”

7. This sounds nice.

“A cabin in the woods, near a river. Solid and beautiful. Lots of windows, and an incredible view. It’ll smell like cedar and pipe tobacco. A simple wood shop, and maybe a small painting studio. A large wood-burning fireplace. A cozy kitchen; nothing fancy.

Really good coffee in mismatched mugs. Plenty of bourbon and wine. Loooots of books, and enough time to actually read them. Walks in the woods with my wife and dog. Fishing, canoeing, and shore lunches. Watching wildlife. Drawing and painting. A nice little town nearby (but just far enough away) with a good bookstore, an old diner, and a lively tavern (need a spot to watch those Packers games).

A well-seasoned and reliable old truck to get us there and back. Long days with my wife, listening to music (on vinyl), laughing, cooking, making love. Never feeling bored, never feeling rushed. Time enough to be able to just be us, and do all those things we never seem to get around to doing.”

8. Three things.

“A cure for writers block, a long attention span, and 3 extra inches in height.”

9. Best wishes to you!

“My daughter being old enough so I can take her home, she was born at 32 weeks, she might be coming home in a week :)!”

10. Need to recapture that.

“To just have energy and enthusiasm again.

It feels like I’ve had very little energy for anything for almost 10 years now. I feel like a passive observer in my life most of the time. Im doing what I’m supposed to, but any enjoyment has long since died.”

11. These are good goals.

“To finish college ( pretty soon), get my optometry degree and become an optometrist in the rural and underserved areas in US.

Also, a significant other who will be there beside me.”

12. Wouldn’t this be nice for everyone?

“Affordable healthcare forreal. I have to wait until I can save up enough to see the ENT again.. last run it went : see specialist, go to imaging center, back to specialist for results (that can be relayed via phone.

Cost $165 just to have him hand me a piece of paper), then to the surgical center. Just to find out what he thought was causing my eustachian tube issues, isn’t the problem. Back to square fucking one with $0.. America, please get your shit together.

I work 50 hours a week, I bust my ass, I haven’t been without a job since I was 15.. I’m in my thirties. At this rate I won’t see 60 because it’ll cost too much to fucking live that long”

13. In a lot of pain.

“No more pain.

I want to be able to check my own mail, take a walk out back, do groceries without using the go cart. Walk without using a cane. Be out of bed for most of the day.

Hell, I’d be 100% happy with 70% less pain.”

14. Here’s the list.

“8-9 hours of sleep every night, at least 4 very good friends and a knowledge of who everyone around me is, being really smart and having a secure job as a marine biologist studying the deep ocean. Also a happy family with kids who I take to get cookies on Fridays.”

15. For my son.

“My son’s doctor to call me and say he is completely cured and will grow up normal and healthy, he can stop any medicine he currently takes (about 16 pills a day for a 2 year old is a lot) and we never have to go back to the doctor.”

16. Go for it!

“Being able to ask out a woman i am attracted to instead of always chickening out.”

17. Another chance.

“Being pregnant again, with the 100% assurance that this time the baby will live.”

18. The good stuff.

“Get hired for a really awesome part time job.

Find a gym buddy I connect with and start exercising again.

Make strides every week in therapy and in managing my addictions.

Meet a great girl who I have tons of chemistry with.

My mom getting really good news about her medical condition and her recovering as close to 100% as possible.

Meeting new friends with healthy habits.”

19. Something to think about.

“Happiness is an inside Job.

I spent many years chasing “the dream.” Dream job, SO, toys, etc. It’s all just stuff. Only when I almost lost everything did I finally wake up and realize what is truly important in this life. Right now.

What are you doing right now to make your life better? No one else is/can make you happy, truly happy. Tomorrow is a wish and yesterday is gone. If you try and live in those two places you are pissing all-over today.”

20. I think a lot of people feel this way.

“Start earning enough money to not be stressed, and to be free of any mental health issues.”

Everyone is different, and that’s one of the things that makes living in the crazy world very interesting!

What about you?

What would make you a completely happy person?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Discuss What It Would Take to Make Them 100% Happy in Life appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Writer Ranted About Working From Home in Sweatpants and Got Roasted by Twitter

You know all too well that one of the best aspects of working from home is the dress code. There is none!

Getting up to make my morning coffee in some basketball shorts and a t-shirt before I sit down at the computer makes working from home a breeze. After all, it’s a lot better than waking up at the crack of dawn to iron a dress shirt and pants.

Not everyone is a fan of the casual work-from-home dress code. In fact, LA Times writer Adam Tschorn openly criticized all of us who don sweatpants at our home office.

But there’s strength in numbers. And my fellow sweatpants-adorning, hard-working home folk have risen up and battled back against Tschorn and his senseless, scathing criticism. After all, should we really be listening to fashion advice from a guy whose profile picture reveals someone who has no sense of style?

Step right up, folks. Who’s ready to take a ride on the merry-go-round with Mr. Tschorn?

Now that one was a little harsh, but I get the point. Let us make a living from home in whatever pants we want.

Apparently Mr. Tschorn’s own newspaper can’t even back the internet bully. Though, I’m not sure cheetah print should be considered professional work attire, either.

Fashion bloggers and I don’t have a ton in common, but we can both agree that Mr. Tschorn’s cruel words have no place in our society. Everyone’s already feeling down being stuck at home, so what’s wrong with getting work done in the most comfortable pants known to man?

Boom. Even the dictionary backs us up on our fashion choice. And you can’t argue with a book that only spits facts. Take that, Mr. Tschorn.

Are you part of the sweatpants revolution? How do you dress differently when working from home compared to a traditional office setting?

Let us know about your fashion thoughts in the comments below!

The post A Writer Ranted About Working From Home in Sweatpants and Got Roasted by Twitter appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Unique Things They Have in Their Homes

What’s the rarest thing you have in your house?

I’m talking about something you have in your home that most people definitely don’t have in theirs…

It could be worth a lot of money, or maybe it’s something that is priceless only to you.

AskReddit users opened up and talked about the rare items they own.

Enjoy!

1. He is missed.

“I got an autograph from Chef Anthony Bourdain.

His was just about the only celebrity death that had a real impact on me.”

2. Memories from my grandfather.

“I have a large storage container filled to the top with McDonald’s toys. Before my grandfather passed away he would go and get a coffee every morning and would get me a toy from there when he got a coffee.

I’ve kept them ever since. I can bring myself to part with them. I have full collections of the Monsters Inc toys, the Lilo and Stitch toys, Winnie the Pooh, Beanie Babies, etc. 90’s and early 2000’s toys. That man was a saint, and my hero.”

3. Talkin’ about money.

“An uncut currency sheet.

It is 50 1 dollar bills that were never cut when the came out of the US Mint.”

4. That is unique.

“8 different copies of the secret garden by Frances Burnett.

It is not my favorite book. I first recieved and read a copy of it when I was 9, so it is a very sentimental book for me.

I have so many copies because I enjoy collecting the more beautiful art styles that it gets published in. As a classic it gets republished very frequently so to prevent me from just buying way too many copies I re-read the book everytime I buy a new one.”

5. How did that happen?

“A balloon that was inflated a couple days before I was born. 17 years later and it has barely lost any air.”

6. Now, that’s old!

“An antique ship anchor from the year 1597.

Dredged up from The river Maas.

Its not a huge anchor from a full sized manowar or something. Those were the size of a house. I think this was from a fishing vessel or a small trade vessel for river trade here in the Netherlands.

Not found by me unfortunately but I bought it from the man who did. Found in the ’70s.

The date it was made is on the anchor. And the mark on it is a kind of “house mark” these marks were used by rich but not noble families, no cost of arms, to mark stuff that was theirs.

Around 60 kg but it’s a guess.

Height: 124 CM Width: 81 CM.”

7. That’s…different.

“A collection of human teeth stuck on a candle.”

8. A piece of history.

“A piece of the Berlin wall.

I have a chunk on my dresser. I got for my mom when we visited Germany last summer because she told me stories of when she lived there, touching the wall was a quick way to get shot. I wanted her to be able to touch the wall and not get shot, so I brought some wall home for her!”

9. Sounds like a classy dwelling.

“A neon sign that says Fuck.

And I’ve got a small version of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.”

10. That’s rare, indeed.

“A have a custom made Harry Potter wand.

I worked on the Fantastic Beasts 2 film (part of the Harry Potter Universe) and was gifted it by the  director and producer. It has my name on it too.”

11. Family heirloom.

“An opal ring that has been passed down in my family for generations.”

12. All kinds of stuff.

“I’ve probably got quite a few, I have a few rather large lumps of obsidian, an alligator’s head, some nearly 100 year old books too.

Two music boxes made to look like San Francisco cable cars, also got an Albert Einstein bobble head (like the ones from Night at the Museum 2).”

13. Gettin’ wild!

“My 80+ Hawaiian shirt collection.

Yea, I’m boring like that.”

14. Signed and all…

“I’ve got a book signed by Cornelius Vanderbilt. I bought it at a used book store for a dollar because it looked cool. Flipped through the first few pages and there it was! It is an inscription from him to his advisor, given as a gift.

Had it authenticated by a Vanderbilt expert (I lived near one of their mansions at the time, and there were several historical sites and museums there with people who knew more than I did)

So that was a fun find.”

15. House of horrors.

“The foot from a real human skeleton. Six human incisors. A mummified bobcat heart. An alligator skull. A muskdeer skull. A human shoulder blade.

A light-up, car-top “funeral” sign, like the one on Joe Bob Briggs fridge, a water buffalo skull, a Cthulhu glow in the dark bank.

I really, really like weird shit.”

16. I’d love to read those.

“Letters written by my great-great-grandfather to his wife in 1917, while he was POW in Russia as part of Austro-Hungarian army at the end of WWI.”

17. Snap into a Slim Jim!

“I have a Macho Man Randy Savage head that was used as a Slim Jim display down at work.

We got an extra one and I asked for it so now he just sits at my desk arms folded staring menacingly, holding pens in the part the Slim Jim would go.”

18. Very strange…

“I have about 1,500 empty perfume bottles.

My girlfriend collects them. I get anxiety walking past them.”

19. This has to be one-of-a-kind.

“A copy of the Quran signed by porn star Ron Jeremy.

I call it the Quran Jeremy.”

20. It still works?!?!

“A working ipod from 2004.”

I’d like to get my hands on some of those items!

How about you?

What do you have in your home that is really rare?

Please share with us in the comments!

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Lawyers Talk About Worst Way They’ve Seen People Get Screwed Over in Court

I really hope I never get in trouble with the law or have to go to court for any reason whatsoever because the whole justice system pretty much terrifies me and I don’t want to have anything to do with it.

So far, so good on my end…

But the fact is that a lot of people get royally screwed over in court. Sometimes it was their fault, sometimes it wasn’t

Here are some interesting answers from AskReddit.

1. You blew it!

“My client screwed them-self.

I’m doing landlord tenant stuff and my client was facing eviction over non-payment, but the client was withholding rent payments because of habitability issues in the apartment, no heat, high lead levels, vermin. This is gonna be an easy win for me.

Told my client continually to make sure they don’t spend the money, keep it but don’t spend it. Because if you show the judge you still have the money it looks real good for you in terms of making the judge believe that you’re withholding for good reasons.

We get up in front of the judge, landlord doesn’t have an attorney so I’m dancing inside, there’s no way I can lose.

I make my arguments and the landlord makes his.

Judge asks my client if they still have the money.

Client goes “nah I blew that shit at the casino last week”.”

2. That was fast.

“My wife is the lawyer.

Info: When children reach the age of majority if they do not continue studying and start working, it is not necessary to pay alimony.

Info: My wife’s client found a new lover, which unleashed the wrath of the ex-wife, who started asking for more alimony for her children.

Well to win the case, it was necessary to prove that the children were working, but they could not get any proof of it.

There was not much chance of winning, but they still went to court hoping that with the interrogations they could find information that would put them in evidence.

On the day of the trial the children did not go, only the mother and her lawyer were present.

Judge: Madam, tell me why your children could not come.

Mom: they could not get permission at work.

Judge:…

Lawyer:…

Mom: …

Another few seconds of silence.

Judge: well, that was fast.”

3. The truck is yours.

“I had a client who was trying to get away from an abusive ex and filed for a restraining order. He shows up to the final hearing and is making a big fuss about a truck that they bought during their marriage. He said it was just his, and she had no rights to it because their marriage was void.

I asked him on cross examination what he meant by that, and he said that he had already been married in another state when he married my client. He said that my client had no idea, but that it means their marriage is invalid and the truck was all his.

Not only is that legally inaccurate, the transcript of the hearing was promptly turned over to the police, who were actively investigating him for bigamy.

Oh, and the judge gave my client the truck along with a two year no-contact order.”

4. Major facepalm.

“I’m a lawyer, saw someone screw himself.

I work as a public servant in a criminal law judge’s office, and since I have a law degree I don’t normally do administrative work, though I get to be with the judge in some of the hearings.

Last month we had a huge drug trafficking case (I’m talking about 20 or more people involved, months of investigation, undercover agents, videos, audio, the whole ordeal). Hearing lasted three days.

Anyway when it was time for one of the defendants to be on the stand so the prosecutor could read the charges he was accusing him of (He was pleading not guilty, as he very loudly stated from the majority of the hearing, up until my boss -the judge- told him to shut up or he would be admonished, to which he replied “what are you gonna do, arrest me?” which, to be honest, was actually a bit funny).

The prosecutor, as part of the facts of his case, told him that “he was being accussed of selling, traficking and carrying x amount of x drugs, with the base of his operation being his house, where he lived with his partner” (Mind you, said partner wasn’t even in the hearing, she wasn’t arrested or anything as there was nothing tying her to the case) he said “wait up, I was the one selling the drugs, she didn’t do anything”.

His lawyer (a state assigned public lawyer) facepalmed so hard it’s actually recorded in the audio of the hearing.

He still pleaded not guilty.”

5. Happens more than you’d think.

“A witness for the plaintiff in a civil suit, who was a co-worker of the plaintiff testified very strongly against the company and in favor of the plaintiff. I questioned her about bias toward the plaintiff, if they knew eachother well, were friends, etc. She said, no just friendly co-workers, “work friends” at best. I pinned her to it.

When I got a chance to cross-examine the plaintiff, she had no choice but to burn her witnesses credibility, because no only were they very close friends, but they had become sisters in law just a few years before. (no, they did not have the same last name or anything, but I had done my homework).

I still don’t get why people want to fight small bias, by destroying their credibility, but … it happens more than you’d think.”

6. The age of consent.

“More of a case of screwing himself over, but here goes. This was a case another prosecutor in my office had a few years back. 30 year old defendant was charged with sexual assault of a child after he got his girlfriend’s 14 year old sister pregnant. She actually kept the baby so the police just waited and got a paternity test. No surprise, defendant was the father.

Defendant wanted probation; prosector refused to offer it. He decided to plead guilty and have a jury trial on punishment (here in Texas, you can choose to have the jury set punishment). Evidence mostly proceeded as expected. The victim testified to having consensual (aside from not being old enough to consent) sex with the defendant, getting pregnant, etc.. Paternity test introduced.

Defendant took the stand. His version of events was that he snuck into victim’s room at night, covered her mouth, and held her down while he forcibly had sex with her against her will. It seemed like his own lawyer had no idea that’s the story he settled on.

The jury deliberated about fifteen minutes before returning a verdict of 17 years (the maximum possible as charged was 20). When interviewed by the attorneys afterwards, one of them said they decided on 17 years so the defendant would never forget the age of consent in Texas again.”

7. A terrible story.

“A prior boss’s story:

They had a drunk-driver-kills-a-car-worth-of-people case at the time when they were a general practitioner. My boss was representing the family that got hit (one where the two kids and the wife had died, but the father had not) and wanted the college guy’s drunk-driving skin to be mounted on a wall.

This was back before Facebook was commonly used in Court proceedings and before tons of people realized that shit is too great for any attorney worth their weight in salt to pass up.

So, the kid (drunk driving college kid) had managed to get the judge’s sympathy during the first part of the hearing by saying he was sorry, haunted, never going to drink again, this was going to ruin his life, etc. The judge seemed to really be eating it up.

Then comes my boss and immediately burns this kid’s remorse to the ground by showing numerous Facebook statuses and photos of them binge drinking, partying, and even joking about driving drunk from the date of the accident up until a night ago. The kid looked like he was being forced to swallow hot coals and the judge was absolutely livid.

Needless to say, the kid had to do way more than just apologize and be remorseful after that.”

8. Drunk…again.

“My dad’s case. He was the equivalent of a Public Defender decades ago. There was this guy that would get caught for being drunk in public, public lewdness, etc. EVERY weekend. He seemed to draw the same judges and was pretty well known to everyone in the courthouse as an absolute lost cause.

One of the “regular” judges had him appear in his court again. The judge is ready to give him a prison sentence because he was driving a car this time, but the guy starts crying that he finally got a job out of town and was trying to turn his life around. Judge tells him as long as he never makes a mistake “in my town again” he would just drop the charges.

Well sure as hell the guy shows up the following Monday. Same judge. Driving drunk AGAIN. My dad now has his case. The judge tells him he gave him his final chance, to which the guy sobs and replies “I was leaving town, your Honor.

But my friends decided to throw me a going-away party.” The judge was not amused. My dad had to do everything he could to not laugh.”

9. Custody dispute.

“I was litigating a custody dispute on behalf of the mother in an incredibly conservative jurisdiction. One of the most common ways to get custody was to allege sex or porn addiction because the threshold for it was basically non existent.

For this hearing however, we lucked out with the judge, who I knew from other cases. Opposing counsel tried to “gotcha!” Me into settling before the hearing by showing me surprise sexts between mom and her new boyfriend.

This is, of course, not law and order and you can’t introduce surprise evidence. So we go through with the hearing, I object to the sexts, but say I would allow them to be ready into the record, in their entirety.

So the uptight very conservative local attorney gets to spend the next twenty five minutes or so reading sexts in open court occasionally asking if she could gloss over parts but no, I didn’t feel it would be appropriate. I’ll never forget hearing her struggle with the word nipple. It’s not even a dirty word!

But this was like the third hearing we had to amend custody because this guy felt his ex wife having a boyfriend meant she was a sex addict. They alleged the sexts happened while the kid was in Mom’s custody. But they based that on the timestamp of the screenshots. The timestamp on the texts was clearly at a time when the kid was not even around and mom was safe to get freaky over the phone.

The judge had heard enough of his bullshit and awarded attorneys fees and put in the order, consistent with the vexatious litigant statute, that if dad would continue to be liable for her attorneys fees if he kept pushing this shit.

It was the only joy I got from practicing family law.”

10. “The most badass thing I had ever seen.”

“I was a very new lawyer, with no bankruptcy experience. A partner sent me to bankruptcy court to try to make a claim as a creditor related to a $50 million building that was being sold.

Time and lack of knowledge will prevent me from accurately describing everything that went down but I will do my best.

The Court handled my client’s claim very quickly and easily at first. The Court ruled we were not a creditor because our claim was against a tenant, which was correct. (Note, we had purchased the claim from someone merely to try to somehow wedge our way into buying the property – which was very transparent to the Court.)

So I could just set back for the remainder of the hearing and watch the 2 premier bankruptcy attorneys go at it. One represented the debtor and the owner of the building; the other represented a secured creditor with a lien against the building

They absolutely hated each other on a personal level, and were arguing with great venom about the plan to sell the real estate.

There was a small break in the action while the judge took care of another matter.

When we came back, the secured creditor attorney told the Court the following:

His client (the creditor) had purchased controlling interest in the debtor (the owner of the building).

He had been directed to fire the other attorney.

He had been directed to withdraw the motion to sell the real estate.

He then did both there in the Courtroom.

I have practiced for almost 3 decades. It was the most bad ass thing I had ever seen, and was particularly noteworthy because the courtroom was packed with other attorneys watching and those 2 attorneys absolutely hated each other.”

11. A major backfire.

“A wife filed for a restraining order because she wanted the house during divorce. Husband has good job, like 200k per year. Employer finds out about restraining order, husband is fired. He was very specialized employee so only job he can find close to to house, ex-wife, and daughter is 50k.

House gets foreclosed. Child support at less than $500 per month. Wife has to get job as waitress. Four cars get repossessed.”

12. Off to jail you go!

“Had a criminal jury trial for misdemeanor Criminal Mischief over 4 years ago. State filed charges and kept amending the Information to the point where they left the ACTUAL VICTIM out of the trial and proceeded with the two eyewitnesses.

Well, one of the witnesses was my client’s ex and the other witness was the ex’s new GF. They claimed my client vandalized the ACTUAL VICTIM’s car. Client denied everything.

Well, apparently, the State and both Witnesses had no idea that the Ex had a outstanding warrant for not paying child support to MY CLIENT which created a motive for him to lie. Asked him if he was aware that he had a warrant out for his arrest on the stand. He didn’t know. The Judge excused the jurors. The bailiffs arrested the Ex on the stand. State rested.

Judge granted our Motion for Judgment of Acquittal because we had good case law for the victim not being there. Client walked away free and the Ex went to jail.”

13. A story from the jury.

“I sat on the jury of a man who was accused of molesting his 10 year old niece. He elected to testify in his own defense and his defense was: “I did it, but it was her idea.”

It was his third felony strike so he will be spending (with luck) the rest of his life in prison.”

Like I said, I really hope I never have to go to court in my entire life…

How about you?

Have you had any experiences with the justice system?

If so, please share them in the comments.

We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The post Lawyers Talk About Worst Way They’ve Seen People Get Screwed Over in Court appeared first on UberFacts.