Category: jokes

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Knock-Knock Jokes Your Kids Are Going to Love

You might think knock-knock jokes are kind of childish and old-school, but hear me out – there are reasons that things stick around long enough to be called classics.

Kids love knock-knock jokes, I think because they’re simple and short, and who doesn’t need a fun way to make your child laugh now and then?

Photo Credit: Pixabay

No one, which is why you’ll want to stick these 20 legit knock-knock jokes in your back pocket!

And…these all begin with “Knock, knock…who’s there?”

Obviously.

20. Ice cream soda.

Ice cream soda who?
Ice scream soda people can hear me!

19. Leon.

Leon who?
Leon me when you’re not strong!

18. To.

To who?
No, it’s to whom!

17. Annie.

Annie who?
Annie thing you can do I can better!

Photo Credit: pxhere

16. Candice.

Candice who?
Candice joke get any worse?!

15. Lena.

Lena who?
Lena a little closer, and I’ll tell you another joke!

14. Anita.

Anita who?
Anita drink of water so please let me in!

13. Quiche.

Quiche who?
Can I have a hug and a quiche?

12. Alex.

Alex who?
Alex-plain when you open the door!

11. Wa.

Wa who?
What are you so excited about?!

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Ben White

10. Olive.

Olive who?
Olive next door. Hi neighbor!

9. I am.

I am who?
Don’t you even know who you are?!

8. Nun.

Nun who?
Nunya business!

7. A leaf.

A leaf who?
A leaf you alone if you leaf me alone. 

6. June.

June who?
June know how long I’ve been knocking out here?

Photo Credit: Unsplash,abdelkader ft

5. Hike.

Hike who?
I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!

4. Spell.

Spell who?
W-H-O!

3. A little old lady.

A little old lady who?
Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!

2. Dejav.

Dejav who?
Knock, knock

Photo Credit: pxhere

1. Cargo.

Cargo who?
Cargo beep, beep and vroom, vroom!

I don’t want to admit this, but I’m definitely giggling.

Which ones are you going to share with your kids?

Do you have a great one that we’ve left out? Please share with us in the comments!

The post Knock-Knock Jokes Your Kids Are Going to Love appeared first on UberFacts.

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Here are Some Memes and Tweets to Look at While You Pretend to Work

I spend most to all of my time online staring at memes. I dream in memes. My wife is a meme.

Since you clicked on this article, I assume you’re the same. It’s ok. There’s no shame here. Have a dose of the good stuff.

11. Let’s get moderate in here

10. Build out, not up

9. We all have layers

8. “I’ll be in my womb.”

7. PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS

6. Don’t start nuthin’, won’t be nuthin’

5. I just need a few years to myself

4. Life is regret

3. Take victories where you can get them

2. Hello, fellow human

1. I call this phenomenon “Rumgret”

What’s your favorite fountain o’memes? What source do you love to go for the freshest lols?

Let me know about ’em in the comments. We want to swim in the waters of their comedy FOREVER!

The post Here are Some Memes and Tweets to Look at While You Pretend to Work appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Comments from Grandparents Should Keep You Laughing

Grandparents are the best! They tell stories from the “good old days” and give awesome fashion advice. Take a gander at these Reddit users and the hilarious things they learned or heard from their older loved ones.

1. I don’t get it

My dad calls dubstep “The Devil’s Dialup Tone” or just “The Garbage Disposal.” He’s had a couple more, but he uses those a lot.

Also, whenever he has to go to the bathroom, he says, “I have to poop like a park ranger.” I still don’t get it.

2. Just go!

I take my grandma out to run her errands and get her out of the house for a while. One day we were in a rush to get somewhere, we came to an intersection and the light turned red right before we got there. She looks at me and says “run it, just go.” Being the good grandson I am, I do so. As we pass, she waves to the oncoming cars and says “toodle-loo!”

3. Lol, tree donkeys

My grandfather used to hide behind the BBQ on his patio and shoot squirrels with a super-soaker when they would try to loot the bird feeder. He would yell “Not today tree donkeys” then come back in the kitchen chuckling to himself. I miss that goofy man.

4. Straight up

Maybe not the funniest thing he’s said, but my 93 year old grandfather when he had his picture taken: “I wish I had a camera. I’d take a picture of myself every day because I’m so damn handsome.”

5. Miscommunication

My grandparents told me this story one time. It was their “coming of age” when they realized they’re two old people now.

Grandpa is trying to get past my grandmother who is loading pre made pies into the freezer. Grandpa says, “Can I get by?”

Grandma grabs her pies and says, “What kind?”

Grandpa checks his watch and says, “Quarter after three”.

Both said they didn’t even realize it until ten minutes later, when my grandpa called my grandma old.

6. Tattoo=Jerk

I’m an EMT, we were taking a 90-something year old man to the ER, and as I was putting the cuff on his arm to get a blood pressure, he sees my tattoo on the inside of my forearm and asks “is that a tattoo?” I say “yes it is, sir” he looks me in the eye and says “well then, that makes you a jerk!” and didn’t say another word to me. I wasn’t even mad, it was too funny.

7. I like big butts and I cannot lie

My grandfather explaining the story of how he met my grandma: “I saw her walking down the street with her friends and picked out the greatest butt.” Short and sweet.

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These Odd but Funny Jokes Might Make You Laugh

I can’t get enough of the weird jokes that proliferate on the Internet. If it makes me snort, I’m in. Nevermind if it’s nerdy, geeky, some combination of the two, or just downright silly. If it’s odd and it has me in an unexpected fit of giggles, I’m fine with letting my freak flag fly.

If you are too, then unfurl it and let’s go!

14. Accurate

Photo Credit: Twitter,bea_ker

13. So bad it’s good

Photo Credit: Twitter,WheelTod

12. I’m pretty sure that’s right

Photo Credit: Twitter,ArielDumas

11. Hey, you gotta do you

Photo Credit: Twitter,KyleMcDowell86

10. You have to give her points for originality

Photo Credit: Twitter,katlopez05

9. I’ll have what she’s having. Ha!

Photo Credit: Twitter,ohen39

8. Nailing the tarot thing

Photo Credit: Twitter,meandmydog69

7. Baby got basement

Photo Credit: Twitter,FaceAhhAquarius

6. *snerk*

Photo Credit: Twitter,MarfSalvador

5. Pay no attention to the man with the feathers…

Photo Credit: Twitter,KeetPotato

4. Best

Photo Credit: Twitter,MichaelJErhart

3. Nerds are the besssttttt

Photo Credit: Twitter,ireenee_b

2. Can. Not. Unsee.

Photo Credit: Twitter,coolado_

1. Thank goodness someone finally stepped up to the plate!

Photo Credit: Twitter,joeyalison

(h/t: Buzzfeed)

We know you can choose a lot of sites to read, but we want you to know that we’re thankful you chose Did You Know.

You rock! Thanks for reading!

The post These Odd but Funny Jokes Might Make You Laugh appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Funny ‘Harry Potter’ Jokes That Fans Should Enjoy

We’ve got a major Nerd Alert!

I’m just kidding, I’m one of you! A Potter-head, if you will. And I got a huge kick out of these jokes that poke fun at the Harry Potter universe.

And we think you will, too.

Enjoy, all you Muggles out there!

1. How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?

Just one. He puts his wand in the cauldron and the world revolves around him.

slytherin

2. Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter to Facebook?

Because he only has followers, not friends.

3. What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?

Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Crookshanks

4. Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?

Up his sleeve-y!

5. Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad teacher?

Because he can’t control his pupils.

Mad Eye Moody

6. A wizard walks into a pub…

…and orders a Forgetfulness Potion. He turns to the witch next to him and says, “So, do I come here often?”

7. Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub…

The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.”

The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”

Hungarian Horntail

8. A Muggle walks into the Hog’s Head Inn…

…with a frog on his shoulder. The barkeep says, “That’s pretty cool, where’d you get it?”

“London,” the frog croaks. “They’ve got millions of ‘em!”

9. What do you call a wizard with his hand in a thestral’s mouth?

A mechanic.

Thestral

10. Why does Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So you’ll never know which side he’s on.

11. Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between the pot he uses to make potions and his best friend?

They’re both cauld ron.

Harry Potter Studio Tour

12. Which side of a centaur has more hair?

The outside.

13. Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?

Because she gives him hugs and hisses.

14. Why does Neville always use two bathroom stalls?

Because he has a Longbottom.

Neville Longbottom (Harry Potter)

15. What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm?

Broom-mates.
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Pretty fire jokes, right?

What did you think? What were your faves?

Let us know in the comments!

The post 15 Funny ‘Harry Potter’ Jokes That Fans Should Enjoy appeared first on UberFacts.

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Jokes About College Professors That Are Right on the Money

Professors sure are a unique breed, huh?

They’re smart, they’re passionate, they’re eccentric…

And by eccentric, we mean that a lot of them are just plain weird.

Let’s celebrate the interesting lives of professors with some funny tweets at their expense.

1. Whatever…

2. Hahahahaha.

3. Let me in on that.

4. What are you, an idiot?

5. Never a good thing.

6. Probably shouldn’t do this.

7. Not really the case…

8. Classic!

9. Not quite an F…

10. Hello, Brain.

11. That’s amazing.

12. Well, that was all for nothing.

13. Ugggghhhhhh.

14. Hey, it’s me!

15. How’d that work out for you?

Do you have a favorite funny joke or story about a college professor from your past (or maybe your present)?

Share with us in the comments…and if it’s a current professor, leave their name out so you don’t end up getting an F this semester, okay?

The post Jokes About College Professors That Are Right on the Money appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Jokes About College Professors That Are Right on the Money

Professors sure are a unique breed, huh?

They’re smart, they’re passionate, they’re eccentric…

And by eccentric, we mean that a lot of them are just plain weird.

Let’s celebrate the interesting lives of professors with some funny tweets at their expense.

1. Whatever…

2. Hahahahaha.

3. Let me in on that.

4. What are you, an idiot?

5. Never a good thing.

6. Probably shouldn’t do this.

7. Not really the case…

8. Classic!

9. Not quite an F…

10. Hello, Brain.

11. That’s amazing.

12. Well, that was all for nothing.

13. Ugggghhhhhh.

14. Hey, it’s me!

15. How’d that work out for you?

Do you have a favorite funny joke or story about a college professor from your past (or maybe your present)?

Share with us in the comments…and if it’s a current professor, leave their name out so you don’t end up getting an F this semester, okay?

The post Jokes About College Professors That Are Right on the Money appeared first on UberFacts.